cdatcdat ♪
cdat Where were you last night?cdatct
I was at the library with Darien.cdat
Again? You guys are practically dating.cdat
World's most boring dating, but dating.cdat
Yeah, I wish, okay.cdat
He hasn't even asked me out yet,cdat
and I don't know why because we definitely have chemistry,ct
- in fourth period, and in person. - ( Marisa laughs )cdat
- Hey, KC. - Oh, hey, what's up, Darien?cdat
So I was wondering if you've seen that new alien movie yet.t
No, no. I'm not really a huge sci-fi fan.cdat
Oh. That's too badt
I heard about this new Argentinean steak placet
It's supposed to be great.t
Yeah, well, I'm gonna have to take your word for it,ct
because I'm a vegetarian.cdat
cdat Oh, I forgot.cdatcdat
So are there any good vegetarian placescdat
you could recommend? I'd love to try onet
Of course, I'd hate to eat alonet
Yeah, for sure.cdat
There's a really good one on Clark Street.cdat
They actually have communal tables,cdat
so you can meet a lot of interesting people.ct
cdatcdat Uh, okay. So I'll just see you later.cdt
All right.cdat
He is so cute!cdat
Why won't he just ask me out alreadyt
He just did. Three times.cdat
What do you think the movie and the steak,cdat
and the "where can I eat vegetarian not alone" was aboutt
cdat Darien, wait up! I wanna try the steak placet
They have salads, rightt
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪cdat
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪cdat
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep things hustle cool ♪cdat
♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪cdat
cdat ♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪cdat
cdat ♪ I'm not perfect ♪cdat
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪cdat
cdat ♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪cdat
cdat ♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪cdat
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪cdat
♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪cdat
♪ But I always got your back ♪cdat
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪cdat
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪cdat
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪cdat
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪cdat
I keep it undercover.cdat
cdat - So I'll pick you up Saturday night? - Yeah, yeah.cdat
I'm not gonna be picking you up,t
you know, 'cause you're twice my sizet
( awkward laughter t
All right, that's coolt
cdat Hey, Ernie, how's it goingt
Me Ernie?cdat
Yes, you Erniet
I'm good. Thanks for asking.cdat
cdatcdWhat just happened?cdat
It's contact popularity.cdat
When a popular guy like Darien says hi to you,cdt
people think that you're more importantcdat
than you really are.cdat
It's like you're cool-adjacent.cdat
That's pathetic.cdat
I'll take it.cdat
cdat All right, Marisa, do not go all crazy, all right,t
but I have my first official date with Darien this Saturday night.cdat
cdat ( high-pitched shriek )cdat
cdat I'm glad you didn't go all crazy.cdatcdat
Yes, I'm excited, toot
okay, but I'm also very nervous.cdat
I've never really been on a real date before.cdat
What about when you went to the dance with Lincoln?cdt
Mission.cdat
What about when you went to the movies with Brett?ct
Mission.cdat
What about that guy you made out with at camp?cdat
He was not a mission.cdat
No, he was imaginary.cdat
I made him up.cdat
That is too bad.cdat
You guys really seemed to click.cdat
cdatcdat Hey, Dad, I just wanted to let you knowcdat
that I have a date Saturday night.cdat
Let me guess.cdt
With the guy from summer campt
cdat No.cdat
It's a real date with a real guycdat
that actually exists.cdat
Oh. Okay, well, have fun.cdat
cdat That's it?cdat
You don't wanna know anything about himcdat
or meet him before we go out?cdat
KC, the last guy you were interested incdat
tried to kill you.cdat
I say anyone is a step up from that.cdat
( knocking at door t
cdatcdat Hi. Is this the Cooper residence?ct
That depends. Who's asking?cdat
Oh, sorry. Hi. I'm Abby Martin.ct
I just moved to D.C. from Chicago.cdat
That's great.cdat
So sorry I didn't pick you up from the airport,cdt
probably because I don't know who you are.cdat
Right. Of course you don't,cdat
because I'm a total stranger showing up at your door.cdat
I'm originally from Evanston,cdat
I'm a freshman at Howard Universityt
I live at the Wheatley dorm,t
and what was the other thingt
Oh, yeah, I think we might be relatedt
( clears throat ) Excuse me.cdatcdat
Could you just back that up a little bit?cdat
Oh, uh, I'm originally from Evanston...cdat
Yeah, I meant the related part.cdat
Right. Um...cdt
Here's the thingt
My dad passed away recently.cdat
I never really knew my mom.ct
So I started researching hert
and public records led me to you.cdat
Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm not your mother.cdat
cdat And not just because you're older than me.cdat
Actually, my mom passed away when I was really youngt
cdat Totally sad, I knowt
But what can you dot
Guess I'm like Little Orphan Annit
without all the fun singing and dancingt
Anyway...cdat
uh, I'm actually looking for Kira Coopert
Her maiden name is King?cdat
I think she might be my mother's sister.t
I'm... I'm sorry,cdat
but I think you might've found the wrong Kira Cooper,cdat
'cause my mom never had a sister.cdat
But... good luck.cdat
Okay. Thanks. Sorry to bother yout
cdat It's all goodt
Oh, hey, Momt
That was really weirdt
She was saying that you might be her auntt
but I told her that you didn't have a sistert
Actually, um...cdat
we need to talk.cdat
cdatcdat I cannot believe that I have an aunt
that I never even knew about.cdat
How could you keep this from met
- Why didn't you tell me about this? - KC, calm down.cdat
I can't believe you have a sister that I never knew about.cdat
Why wouldn't you tell me this?cdat
Why would you keep this from me?cdat
I think we're missing the big picture heret
I have a late aunt who may have left me a small fortune.cdat
Will you all be quiet and let me explain?cdat
cdat Sit down.cdat
Kira said her sister was the black sheep of the family.cdat
- Judy! - What?cdat
You were taking too long, so I accessed the files.cdat
This is my story to tell.cdat
Let's move it along, shall we?cdat
cdat Anyway, my sister Erica and Icdatcdat
really never got along.cdat
Didn't have that in your files, did you, Judy?cdt
Actually, I did,cdat
I just didn't think it was my placecdat
to bring up your personal business.cdat
As I was saying,cdat
after Erica learned that my parents and Icdat
were part of the Organization,cdat
she joined the Other Side.cdat
Wait, waitt
Your sister joined the Other Side?cdt
Yes, and it broke our hearts.cdat
My parents got rid of everything that showedcdat
she ever existed.cdat
They figured it'd be easier that way.cdat
But I managed to save a few picturescdat
from when we were kids, 'cause no matter what,cdat
she was my sister.cdat
Judy, I want you to access my personal computer.cdat
- My password is-- - I already figured out your secret password.cdat
SpyMom1?cdat
I thought it was ILoveCraig.cdatcdat
No, honey, that's your password.cdat
Oh, yeah, that's right.cdat
Lights off.cdat
cdat Pulling up super secret sister pictures.cdatcdat
cdat I loved my sister,cdat
but she never really fit in with the rest of the family.ct
cdat She just walked to the beat of her own drum.cdat
cdat I can relate.cdat
And after college, when Erica found outcdat
that I was recruited to be a spy like our parents,ct
she really felt left out.cdat
I can relate.cdat
She was always a little off,cdat
doing weird things, acting all strange.cdat
cdat And sometimes, it was just embarrassingcdat
being in the same family.cdat
Oh, look at thatt
Now I can relate.cdat
Erica and I never spoke againcdat
after she joined the Other Side.cdat
That was almost 20 years ago.cdat
It was hard, but sometimes,cdat
you just have to know when to let go.cdat
Now that she's really gone...cdat
Mom, Mom, Momt
Hey, on the bright side, we got Abby now.cdat
She is a part of the family.cdat
We could always reach out to her.cdat
Oh, no. Uh-uh. Absolutely not.cdat
I got a bad feeling about this whole thing.cdat
But we're the only family that she has.cdat
KC, enough. I'm shutting this down.cdat
cdat Hey, is that a picture of you in a hot tub?ct
With MC Hammer?cdat
cdatcdat I'm shutting that down, too.cdat
cdatcdat Okay, hypothetical question, right?ct
Let's just say I'm on my date with Darien tonight,t
and I pass out from nervousness.cdat
Now, is it better to faint into my food,cdat
or onto the floor?cdat
If it were me, I would just faintcdat
right into his arms, but that is an advanced move,ct
and you may not be ready for it.cdat
Marisa, I'm serious, all right.cdat
I really, really like this guy,ct
and I need your help. What if he thinks I'm boring?cdat
Boring? Please, you have traveled the world.cdat
You've met royalty.cdat
You have been in the same room as the president.cdat
All things I cannot tell him.ct
Everything that's unique about mecdat
is classified.t
Or gross, like the plantar's wart on my foot.cdat
cdat Okay, little hint.cdatcdat
Try not to mention your warts to him.cdat
Or anyone. Ever.cdat
So basically, all I can tell him is...cdat
I have a great family, I go to school,cdat
and I come home to my great family.cdat
Then make something up.cdat
This date needs to go well.cdatcdat
We need this.cdat
Why do you care?cdat
Thanks to him,cdat
I'm popular-adjacent.cdat
Since he acknowledged me,cdat
I've gotten 13 "Heys," ten "'Sups,"cdat
and I passed a group of people talking about a party,ct
and for the first time in my life,cdat
the conversation didn't come to a screeching halt.cdt
Marisa, help her!cdat
cdat Okay, KC, here's all the dating advicecdatcdat
you will ever need.cdat
If you can't be interesting,cdat
then be interested.cdat
Guys love to talk about themselves,cdat
so just talk about things he likes.cdat
Oh, we'll treat this like a mission.cdat
I'll find out everything Darien likes,cdat
put together a dossier, and prep you.cdat
Okay, guys, come ont
This seems a little weird, creepy, and super stalkeryt
Yeah, welcome to the world of dating.cdat
No one goes in cold anymore.ct
cdat Now in case all else fails,cdatcdat
you are also gonna need a go-to story.cdat
Okay, I know I'm gonna hate myself for askingt
but what is a go-to storyt
It is a story that makes you seem sweet,cdat
vulnerable and lovable,cdat
preferably featuring a small, helpless animal.cdat
Yeah, I don't have one of those.cdat
Oh, you can borrow mine.cdat
I got it from my friend Angela in Connecticut.cdat
Now listen and learn.cdat
cdat I was almost seven.cdatcdt
I had begged my parents for months to get me a puppy.ct
Then on my birthday, they got me...cdat
Mr. Doodles.cdat
I took him for a walk, but the collar was too big.cdt
cdat He got loose, and out of nowhere,cdat
a car came barreling down the street--cdat
This is ridiculoust
No one is going to buy this manipulative, ridiculous--t
Poor sweet, vulnerable, lovable Marisa.cdat
cdat Go on, I'm listening.cdt
cdatcdat Where did you get those pants?cdat
These? I've had these for yearst
I guess I never told you about 'emt
Kinda like you never told me about your sistert
Hmm.cdat
I wonder what else you're not telling met
Fine. I didn't want you to know,cdat
but I guess I have no choice.cdat
I'm not really your wife.cdat
I'm working deep undercover,cdat
( deep voice ) and my real name is Frank.cdat
Don't ask me where them kids came from,cdatcdat
because I don't know.cdat
Fine. If you're not gonna take me seriouslyt
I have no choice but to go play golf with Stu.cdat
Stu? Who's Stu?cdat
I have secrets, too, woman.cdat
cdatcdat You dragged that brush through your hair 36 times.cdt
I didn't think it was gonna get any better after 35,cdat
but boy, you proved me wrong.ct
Don't you have someplace to be,cdat
like a scrap heap?cdat
cdatcdat Oh, look at you.cdat
Gorgeous. Okay, remembercdat
not to use your phone during the date,cdat
except to check if there's spinach in your teeth.ct
And if Marisa gave you any advice, ignore it.cdat
And most important--cdat
Okay, Mom, please. I'm nervous enough as it ist
You're gonna give my pit stains pit stainst
Can't a mother give her daughter a little dating advice?cdat
Is that what Grandma used to do for you?cdat
No, but my older sis... Never mind.cdat
You were gonna say sister, weren't yout
Yes, I was.cdat
Sister Mary Elizabeth.cdat
She was one of my teachers at parochial school.cdat
And for a woman who was married to God,cdat
she knew a lot about dating.cdat
Okay, Mom, I can clearly see that you're hurting about this.cdatct
Why don't you just reach out to Abby?cdat
She's your niece. She deserves to know her family.cdat
KC, she is a stranger who showed up at our doort
We don't have any proof that she is who she says she is.cdat
We don't have any proof that she's not.cdat
Okay, well, say she is my niecet
If she's anything like her mother,t
- that girl is no good. - You don't know that.cdat
Just because her mom's bad does not mean that she is.cdat
It's true.cdat
Not everybody turns out like their parents.cdat
My mother was a coffee machine.cdat
cdat KC, look, I'm done talking about thist
Mom, we could just call her--cdat
No! This conversation is over.cdat
I don't want anyone from this familycdt
to have any contact whatsoever with that Abby girl.cdat
cdatcdat Wow. At least when my mom got that hot,cdat
you'd get some coffee out of it.cdat
cdatcdat All right, let's review.cdat
What's Darien's favorite thing to do on the weekend?cdat
- Motocross racing. - Favorite food.cdat
His grandma's salmon croquettes.cdat
Favorite Harry Potter movie.cdat
Trick question. He loves them all.cdat
cdat You're ready.cdatcdat
Now go out there and make me popular...cdatt
I mean proud. Proud.cdat
cdat Change of plans, KCt
You have an emergency extraction mission.ct
Okay, Dad, I love you, but I am not squeezingcdat
your back pimples ever again.cdat
This is Organization business.cdat
You can't do this to us! She has a date.cdat
I'm this close to being popular.cdat
cdat Dad, can't the mission wait until 10:00 or 11:00 tonight?ct
Yeah, I'm sure the agent who's been capturedcdat
won't mind waiting a few hours.cdat
Maybe they'll give him some coconut watercdat
- and a foot massage. - Oh, so we're good.cdat
Get in the van.cdat
cdatcdat Okay, KC, an agent from the Organizationcdat
has been captured by the Other Side.cdat
Intel shows that they might be holding himcdt
in this apartment.cdat
cdat Hey, Dad, thermal scan confirms there are two perpsct
in there with our compromised agent.cdat
- I'm going in. - KC, our orders arecdat
- to wait for back-up. - I can't wait. I have a date,cdat
and an unreasonably early curfew.cdat
- I'm going in. - KC, stand down.cdat
I repeat, stand down.cdat
Hey, think fast.cdatcdat
cdatcdat KC! KC, are you there? KC! Are you there?cdat
I'm right heret
- KC, you could've been seriously hurt. - But I wasn't.cdat
- But you could've been. - But I wasn't.cdat
But you could've been.cdat
But again, I wasn't.cdat
That's not the point.cdat
I believe Agent Murphy here would disagree.cdat
He also thinks that 10:00 is a little bit earlycdt
for a curfew, right, Agent Murphy,cdat
whose life I just saved?cdat
cdatcdat Oh, hey, how'd the mission go?cdat
Oh, I would tell you, but it's a secret.cdat
Really, Craig? Really?cdat
When are you gonna stop all this nonsense?cdat
Hey, I'm a man of many secrets.cdat
For instance, did you know I can burp the entire alphabet?t
Wasn't cute on our first date,cdat
and it's not gonna be cute now.cdat
And if you don't stop acting like a darn fool,ct
you're gonna be sleeping on this couch tonight.cdat
cdat Dad, I get that you're upset with Momt
but if you wanna patch things up,cdat
can I give you a little advice?cdat
Stop worrying about being interesting,cdat
and worry more about being interested.cdat
What the heck does that mean?cdat
I don't know.cdat
Marisa came up with itt
But I think, in this case,cdt
it means stop making a big deal about yout
and worry about hert
Huh.cdat
You know, that actually makes sense.cdat
Thank you, son.cdat
And if that fails, tell her a story about a dead dog.t
cdatcdat I'm here. I'm here.cdat
I'm here. Uh, sorry I'm late.cdat
I just, um, had to help my dad with something.cdt
Anything interestingt
Interesting? No.cdat
I am not interesting at all.cdat
But I am interested...cdat
in what you like on the menu.cdat
I'm not sure what to gett
How about salmon croquettes?ct
Because it's a pizza place and they're not on the menu.ct
Yeah.cdat
Sure, that's a good reason.cdt
I just love them so much.cdat
I thought you were a vegetarian.cdat
I am.cdat
I am, but I like to pretend to eat salmon croquettes...cdt
cdat while motocross racing and readingcdatcdat
all seven Harry Potter books.cdat
I mean, is there a best one?cdatcdat
Don't ask me 'cause I love them all.cdat
KC, are you randomly mentioning things that I like?t
Why would you say that?cdat
Because you're randomly mentioning things that I like.t
cdat Please tell me you did not internet-stalk mecdatcdat
to prepare for our date.cdat
No. Of course not. I would never do that.cdat
That is so weird and creepy and...cdat
very manipulative.cdat
cdatcdat I was almost seven.cdat
I had begged my parents for months for a puppy,cdatt
and then, on my birthday, I, um...cdat
I'm sorry.cdat
cdatcdat Here's a little secret for you.cdat
The last time this blanket was used,cdat
Ernie had the stomach flu and threw up on it.cdat
Sweet dreams.cdat
Can I tell you a secret?cdat
I can be an idiot sometimes.cdat
Oh, tell me something I didn't already know.cdat
I was upset because I didn't know about your sister,cdat
cdat and I acted like a jerk.cdat
What I should've done was sit you down,cdat
and asked, how you doing, baby?cdat
I know this whole thing must be really painful.cdat
You okay?cdat
Oh, Craig.cdat
cdat Now if there's anything else you're hiding,cdat
and you wanna get it off your chest...cdat
Don't ruin it, Craigt
cdatcdat Thank you. I had a great time tonight.cdat
Did you? Did you really?cdat
cdat No. ( laughs )cdatcdat
Neither did It
Yeah, I'm sorry.cdat
It was horrible, and it was all my fault.cdat
And the worst part is I really, really like you,cdt
and I just ruined my very first date ever.cdat
Okay, wait a minutet
This is your very first datet
Yes.cdat
Now wait another minutet
Did you just say you really liked met
Maybe.cdatcdat
KC, I like you, toot
and I wanna get to know yout
Who's the real KCt
Um...cdat
Well, the real me...cdat
The real me has never had a salmon croquette, and never wants to.cdat
cdat I have no interest in motocross racing,cdatcdat
and I am way behind in my Harry Potters.cdat
I guess the real KC is someonecdat
who really, really, really cares about her family.ct
cdat They are, like, the most important thing in the world to me.cdat
I couldn't even imagine going through life without...cdt
cdat You know what, thank you so much for everything,cdat
and I really wanna do this again,cdat
but I gotta go talk to a family member right now.cdat
cdat Thanks for... walking me to your door?cdat
cdat So... how'd it go, buddy?cdatcdt
cdat Will we be seeing you again?cdat
cdatcdat Oh, hi.cdat
Hi. Um, I'm sorry.cdat
I didn't get to properly introduce myself before.cdat
I'm KC Cooper, and I'm your cousin.cdat