1 00:00:00,420 --> 00:00:02,830 ♪♪ 2 00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:08,080 Thanks, Byron, that was actually really, really cool. 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,040 I've never been to the Lincoln Memorial at night. 4 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,830 Well, I've never seen anyone 5 00:00:11,830 --> 00:00:15,330 jump into Lincoln's lap and take a selfie, so... 6 00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:18,330 And I've never run so fast from security. 7 00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,620 But it was your idea to play Truth or Dare. 8 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,290 I say we keep playing. 9 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:26,960 I dare you to go out on another date with me. 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,330 Oh! I pick truth this time. 11 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,250 Fine. Tell the truth. 12 00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:35,380 Do you want to go to the movies with me tomorrow night? 13 00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:37,420 I do, yeah. It's a date. 14 00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:40,540 -Cool. -Oh, uh, you have an eyelash. 15 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,830 You know what they say, if you blow on it 16 00:00:41,830 --> 00:00:43,460 and make a wish, then your wish can come true. 17 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,460 -Oh, well... -Oh-kay! 18 00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:46,830 (blows dramatically) 19 00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:49,460 I wish you would leave my daughter alone 20 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,380 and go home. 21 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:54,540 You know, Mr. Cooper, you shouldn't say your wish out loud, 22 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,000 'cause it might not come true. 23 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,460 And you shouldn't irritate your date's father, 24 00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:00,880 or you won't come back. 25 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,290 Oh, look at the time! 26 00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:05,580 -Look at it! -I'd better get going. 27 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:07,540 -Buh-bye. Buh-bye. -Okay. 28 00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:10,380 Buh-bye. Look at that! My wish came true! 29 00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:12,040 Hey! Ha ha! 30 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,620 Dad, come on, that was not cool. 31 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,580 Oh, I'm sorry, but I gotta brief you on a mission. 32 00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:18,710 Oh, what, is it Operation KC's Never Gonna Have a Boyfriend? 33 00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:21,540 Oh, that's an ongoing mission. 34 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,790 -It's going on... -Ugh! 35 00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,290 ...and on till you're 31! 36 00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:29,960 ♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪ 37 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,920 ♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪ 38 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,790 ♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool ♪ 39 00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:41,120 ♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪ 40 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:45,170 ♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪ 41 00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:46,960 ♪ I'm not perfect ♪ 42 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,960 ♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪ 43 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,750 ♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪ 44 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:56,830 ♪ Livin' my life, on red alert ♪ 45 00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:59,250 ♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪ 46 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:02,000 ♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪ 47 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,540 ♪ But I always got your back ♪ 48 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,420 ♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪ 49 00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:07,420 ♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪ 50 00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:10,580 ♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪ 51 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,290 ♪ It's all part of the plan ♪ 52 00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:14,380 I keep it undercover. 53 00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:15,750 I keep it undercover. 54 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,750 This is Henry Parker. 55 00:02:20,750 --> 00:02:23,580 He donated $5 million to American University, 56 00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:26,290 and they're renaming the library in his honor. 57 00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:28,290 There's been a bunch of threats against him, 58 00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:30,620 so you're going to the ceremony to protect him. 59 00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:33,880 Who would hate someone who puts money towards a library? 60 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,750 [scoffs] I hope it's not Marisa. 61 00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,790 No, the threats were spelled correctly, 62 00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:41,880 and there were no hearts over the I's. 63 00:02:43,670 --> 00:02:45,210 Okay, so what am I supposed to do, 64 00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:47,620 like, stand in the crowd and keep an eye out on him? 65 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:50,620 Not exactly. You're gonna be doing it from the drumline. 66 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:53,040 Okay, yeah, one problem. I don't know how to drum. 67 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,750 Which is why they should've given this assignment to me! 68 00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,620 I was actually on the drumline in college. 69 00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:01,460 Pop! Wah! 70 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,540 I'm sorry. Wait a minute. Uh... 71 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,120 Dad, are you suggesting that you can 72 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,750 go undercover as a college student? 73 00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,670 Well, I think I could pass for a senior. 74 00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:11,830 -Pfft! -Ha! A senior what, 75 00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:13,710 a senior citizen? 76 00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,540 Hey, come on. 77 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,750 Okay, okay, okay. 78 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,920 The Organization wants you up front and center, 79 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,040 which means you have to get the big drum solo, 80 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,170 and you're gonna do it with these specialized drum sticks. 81 00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:40,290 Oh! Thank you, DC! 82 00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:43,250 You know, I got a real career with this. 83 00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,500 -Well... -Relax. 84 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:47,670 With these, any idiot can drum like a pro. 85 00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:50,330 -Aah! Ow! -Okay. 86 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,250 Apparently not any idiot. 87 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,830 All right, everybody, we need to practice for the library dedication 88 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:02,080 for some millionaire Henry Parker dude, or something. 89 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,830 Look, I don't know. 90 00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:05,750 I graduate in two weeks. 91 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,540 I am super checked out. 92 00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,580 Um, all right, where's William? 93 00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:10,620 We need to go over his solo. 94 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,750 Actually, William couldn't make it, 95 00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:14,460 so I'm filling in for him. 96 00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:15,620 I'm Cassandra Bailey 97 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,170 from the drumline at Georgetown. 98 00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:18,250 What's wrong with William? 99 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,670 Something about his neck went out. 100 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500 But it's cool. 101 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,750 He taught me his solo, so I'm good to go. 102 00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:32,460 All right. Everybody, this is Cassandra. 103 00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:34,420 I guess she'll be filling William's shoes. 104 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:36,750 Ah, actually, brought my own shoes. 105 00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:40,960 Ringworm is no joke, people. 106 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,960 This is ridiculous! 107 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,170 So, a stranger walks in off the street, 108 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,750 and you're just going to hand her 109 00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:48,210 the biggest drum solo of the year? 110 00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,710 Look, man, I know you don't know me, 111 00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:51,460 but I promise you, I got more beats 112 00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:53,000 than a farmer's market. 113 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,580 Ha ha! You know, when beets are in season. 114 00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:56,580 [rimshot] 115 00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:58,380 Thank you. 116 00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,710 Oh, and you know what I got? 117 00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,580 The rulebook. 118 00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:05,420 According to section five, subsection A 119 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,170 of the Drumline Charter Bylaws, 120 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:09,790 I hereby invoke my right to a drum-off! 121 00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:11,710 -Come on, Elliot-- -I invoke! 122 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,830 -I invoke! -All right. 123 00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:15,620 All right, fine, if it'll shut you up. 124 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:19,250 Cassandra, Elliot, it's a drum-off! 125 00:05:55,620 --> 00:06:00,290 Oh, ho! Cassandra, you got the solo! 126 00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:01,290 But that's not fair! 127 00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:02,670 It's okay, Elliot, 128 00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:05,080 look, you can play the solo, too, okay? 129 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,750 Just "so low" nobody can hear you. 130 00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:10,540 [rimshot] 131 00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:11,710 Thank you again. 132 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,920 [mournful music on TV] 133 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,750 [sniffling] 134 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,880 I don't know why they said this was a chick flick. 135 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,170 There's a lot in it for dudes to enjoy, too. 136 00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:29,040 What're you doing? 137 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,750 Oh, um, I was watching a war movie, 138 00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:35,580 The Guns of, uh... what do you want? 139 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:39,920 -Where's KC? -On a mission. 140 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,710 What? No! She's supposed to help me with my college essay! 141 00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:45,880 The deadline for the Fashion Institute of Technology is in... 142 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,710 five hours. 143 00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,830 Good thing you didn't wait till the last minute. 144 00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:51,330 Come on, this is not funny. 145 00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:53,920 My essay needs to be as strong as it can be. 146 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,750 All right, fine, I'll help you. 147 00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:57,670 Oh, thank you. 148 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,830 "Dear Fashion Institute of Technology, 149 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,250 Please let me in. 150 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,380 Sincerely, Marisa Miller." 151 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,540 I'm bad, right? 152 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,960 No, not bad. Terrible. 153 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,420 This isn't an essay. 154 00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:14,790 Plus, you spelled "Marisa" wrong. 155 00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:17,540 Okay, whatever. I know it stinks. 156 00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:20,210 I don't know what else to write about. 157 00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:22,750 Try writing about your life. 158 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,750 Please, what am I supposed to say? 159 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,960 That I woke up a few months before graduation 160 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,830 and realized that I'd actually be good at design 161 00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,750 because my designs are really, really good, 162 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:31,920 and I love design? 163 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,120 That they should accept me into this prestigious school, 164 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,960 despite the fact that I failed most of my classes, 165 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,790 but it was only because I didn't really care about them. 166 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,040 But I know I would be a success at F.I.T. 167 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,380 because I'm actually really passionate about this 168 00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:46,080 and desperately want to learn about fashion and design! 169 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,210 Yeah, that works. 170 00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,710 You're right, it does! 171 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:54,830 Hey, get me one of those wrighty thingies. 172 00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:56,210 Uh, you mean a laptop? 173 00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:57,670 Yeah, yeah, one of those. 174 00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:04,710 Okay, now that you've secured at prime spot 175 00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:07,250 next to Parker at the library renaming ceremony, 176 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,040 all you gotta do is protect him, 177 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,620 and [mocking] pretend to play the drums. 178 00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,620 Really, Dad? You're still on that? 179 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,000 Look, just being honest, okay, you can not pass 180 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,580 for a college student anymore. 181 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,250 Maybe if I shaved a little... 182 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,290 Shaved off 20 years? 183 00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:24,500 I get it, KC, I'm older, 184 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,080 but I can still play. 185 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,250 There was a reason they called me Sticks back in college. 186 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,920 Yeah, wasn't it because you ate a lot of fried mozzarella? 187 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,080 Okay, there were two reasons. 188 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,880 You know what? I'm gonna make sure 189 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,000 all your surveillance cameras are in place. 190 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,710 Maybe you should try bashing that drum 191 00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:39,880 instead of your dear old dad. 192 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:46,460 Oh, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 193 00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:48,830 Excuse me. You can't be on the quad 194 00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:50,500 without a proper wristband. 195 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:51,880 They didn't give me one, 196 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,000 but it's cool-- I'm with the drumline. 197 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,460 Oh! Well, in that case, yeah, let me just slap one on ya. 198 00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:01,460 -Ahh--! -Yeah, that's right. 199 00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:06,670 I'm Barney Feffer, Campus Security, Part-Time Division... 200 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,750 and you are under campus arrest. 201 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,170 -For what? -Suspicion... 202 00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:14,120 of being suspicious. 203 00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:23,540 Okay, look, I think you've made a mistake. 204 00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:26,670 As I've said, see? Check my visitor's pass. 205 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:28,920 Student of Georgetown, Cassandra Bailey, right there. 206 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,500 No, you are a liar! 207 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,920 Because according to my research, 208 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,960 the only Cassandra Bailey who ever attended Georgetown 209 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,920 died in 1914 of the rickets. 210 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,920 Oh, you know, you look pretty good 211 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,880 for a 100-year-old corpse. 212 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:46,960 Okay, look, you know what, 213 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,460 I should not be telling you this... 214 00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,250 but I'm an undercover police officer 215 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,880 sent here to protect the rich guy 216 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,880 who gave all the money to the library. 217 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,080 Oh, that's interesting! 218 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,830 You don't look or feel like a rug, 219 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:03,040 so why you gotta lie like one? 220 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,170 Hmm, you know, you don't look or feel like a security guard, 221 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,920 yet here we are! 222 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,500 I can prove it to you, okay? 223 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,670 I have these special drum sticks in my backpack, 224 00:10:14,670 --> 00:10:16,540 that were given to me 225 00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:21,670 by the Police Advance Technical Department, 226 00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:24,000 Musical Division. 227 00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:27,920 Do I look stupid to you? 228 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,380 You really want me to answer that question? 229 00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,710 No. 230 00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:34,420 Just try them out, okay? They're right there in my backpack. 231 00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:36,830 Anyone who plays with them can play like a pro. 232 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,500 Wow! 233 00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:49,120 Oh, well, I mean, color me embarrassed. 234 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,080 I am so sorry, officer. 235 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,790 Yeah, it's no problem. 236 00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:57,120 Yeah, hey, but I guess that means 237 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,080 that we're working the case together. 238 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,080 Oh, well, if by "working the case together" 239 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,330 you mean going our separate ways 240 00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:04,040 and pretending we never met, then yeah, bingo! 241 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,420 No! No, no, no, no, no! 242 00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:07,500 Please. This is my last shot 243 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,120 to become a full-time security officer. 244 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,620 I mean, right now, my badge, it's just a sticker. 245 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:16,750 It's just a sticker... 246 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:18,290 Okay. Okay, okay, you know what, 247 00:11:18,290 --> 00:11:19,620 um, how about you start 248 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,960 by securing the perimeter of the campus. 249 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,920 I am on it! 250 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,380 Attention all units! Attention all units! 251 00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:30,170 This is Part-Time Security Officer Feffer 252 00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:33,040 calling for a complete campus lockdown! 253 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,540 Okay, first, that is a bit of an overreaction, 254 00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:40,210 and secondly, that's not connected to anything. 255 00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:44,040 Oh! No wonder no one ever answers me back. 256 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,330 I don't know. 257 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:51,380 I think it's perfect. 258 00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:53,000 I would just probably add 259 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,000 a few of those things that we talked about. 260 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000 Right. Commas! 261 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,290 I'd say this is a great essay. 262 00:12:00,290 --> 00:12:03,580 It's real, it's from the heart, 263 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:06,460 it's funny, and it's you. 264 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,120 The Fashion Institute's gonna love it. 265 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,210 Thank you so much, Ernie. 266 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,290 Honestly, like, I couldn't have done this without you. 267 00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:16,420 It was my pleasure. 268 00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:18,170 [both scream] 269 00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,620 Oh, okay, yeah! 270 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:21,250 I'm gonna finish this one at home. 271 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,500 Good idea. Go home. 272 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,920 All right, I-I'll see you later. 273 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,040 -Okay. -Bye. 274 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,250 [both scream] 275 00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,080 -I'm going now! -Please do! 276 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,250 -Okay! -Hey, wait, that's my laptop! 277 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,830 Okay... 278 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,500 All right, everybody, get in formation. 279 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,120 We're gonna start with the solos. 280 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,080 Wait, wait, wait, I can't find my sticks. 281 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,580 Why don't you use mine? 282 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:46,120 You're taking everything else from me. 283 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,750 No, I have to use mine! 284 00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:49,580 Um, 'cause that's gross. 285 00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:52,170 I mean, would you use somebody else's toothbrush? 286 00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:53,790 Are you planning on putting them in your mouth? 287 00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:55,420 Maybe. You don't know my routine. 288 00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:59,710 Start us off. Now. 289 00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:04,080 One, two, three, four. 290 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,710 Five, six, seven, eight! 291 00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,170 -Cassandra! -What? 292 00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:09,380 Does this group go with, like, prime numbers 293 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,670 or something? If so, no problem. 294 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:13,120 Two, three, five, seven-- 295 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,580 Would you please play?! 296 00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:19,080 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Gotcha. 297 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,080 Here we go. Solo. 298 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,080 Ahem. 299 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,920 Maybe your drumming would sound better 300 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,790 if you did put the sticks in your mouth. 301 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:40,170 Okay, Elliot, relax. 302 00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:42,000 It was just a warm-up, 303 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,120 just a little bit of a warm-up. 304 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:45,460 Let's get into this... 305 00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:47,330 [exhales] 306 00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,460 [whispers] Five, six, seven. One, two, three. 307 00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:52,040 Okay. Ahem! Mm! 308 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,250 Come on, Captain! 309 00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,210 She's clearly choking! 310 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:11,290 Give me back my solo! 311 00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:13,830 You got it, Elliot. You can go now. 312 00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:15,420 Oh, man. 313 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,460 [playing sarcastic coda] 314 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,000 You too, Cymbals? 315 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,170 Thought we were friends. 316 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,170 Oh, Officer Bailey! Officer Bailey! 317 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,750 Officer Bailey! 318 00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:49,210 Shh! What? W-What? What is it? 319 00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:52,330 -I found something! -Well, clearly it wasn't antiperspirant, 320 00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:55,960 -'cause you're drenched in sweat. -No, I found your-- I found-- 321 00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:00,420 -I found your... [huffs] -Okay, I need you to stop saying, "I found your," 322 00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,710 -and tell me what you found. -I found your sticks. 323 00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:05,620 Oh! My sticks! Okay, thank you. 324 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,420 Wait, were did you find these? 325 00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:09,250 In that drummer guy Elliot's locker. 326 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,330 You know, he seemed suspicious to me, 327 00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,080 so I invaded his privacy, 328 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,500 which I assumed was my right 329 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,420 when you deputized me. 330 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:21,420 Of course, no, no, no. Elliot is the threat. 331 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,580 That's why he wanted the solo so bad. 332 00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:27,040 He's trying to get close to Parker at the dedication ceremony. 333 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,380 So, what do I do next? 334 00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:33,380 Okay, listen carefully, all right? 335 00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:35,380 Hold on. 336 00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:38,710 Okay. I'm listening. 337 00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,250 I want you to go... 338 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,080 Go. 339 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,920 ...home. 340 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,250 Hom-- Wait a minute! 341 00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:50,250 It seems like you're trying to get rid of me. 342 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,380 I want to help! I'm the one who found the drum sticks. 343 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:58,880 Okay. Okay. I guess another set of eyes couldn't hurt. 344 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,000 You get full clearance. 345 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,880 Yes! Full clearance. Oh! 346 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,080 I haven't been fully cleared since the arson investigation. 347 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,420 Listen here, Barney, don't make me rethink this. 348 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,250 -Hey, hey, hey. -What do you want now? 349 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,710 I want my drum solo back. 350 00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:28,170 Too late. 351 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:31,540 Yeah, well, I hereby invoke section five, subsection A-- 352 00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:34,330 According to the amendment bylaws enacted in 1997, 353 00:16:34,330 --> 00:16:36,120 a formal petition must be presented 354 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,080 in advance, for a second drum-off. 355 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,750 Per the 2004 addendum to that amendment, 356 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,330 it clearly states that if there are extenuating circumstances-- 357 00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:46,120 You don't know what you're talking about! 358 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,080 Okay, enough! Enough! 359 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,250 Two weeks! 360 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,250 I have two weeks of school left, 361 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,790 and you're ruining it! 362 00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:58,380 So you'll both just do the solo! 363 00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:00,290 You'll both stand on either side of Parker. 364 00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,170 -Got it? -Nuh, I got it. 365 00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:04,750 Is that cool with you, Elliot? Does it ruin your little plan? 366 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:08,080 My only plan is to drum my butt off at Parker's dedication ceremony. 367 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,880 Don't get in my way. 368 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,290 I will be in your way... 369 00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:15,710 except for the parts where I choreographed 370 00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:17,540 to be out of your way. 371 00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:19,380 Then I won't be. 372 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,580 Or will I? 373 00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,420 [cell phone rings] 374 00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:30,420 Um, hey Bryan. 375 00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,000 Hey, KC! 376 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,250 I'm at this thing my dad dragged me to, 377 00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:36,790 but I'll be free in time for our movie. 378 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:41,170 -What movie? -The movie we said we were going to tonight. 379 00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:44,080 The movie I already bought tickets for! 380 00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:49,000 Uh, right. Right, right, right. 381 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,580 Yeah, of course, that movie. 382 00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:53,210 Um, about that. I can't go. 383 00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:54,580 You're blowing me off? 384 00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:57,040 No, no. I'm not blowing you off. 385 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,750 I'm just canceling at the last minute. 386 00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:03,420 Okay, that is the very definition of blowing someone off. 387 00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:06,580 No, see, listen, you didn't let me finish, okay? 388 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:11,880 I can't go tonight because my grandma is not well. 389 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:18,380 Yeah, have you ever heard of acute necrotizing ulcerative gingivitis? 390 00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,540 Oh. No, I haven't. 391 00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:23,000 Then that's what she has. 392 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,620 I-I am so sorry. 393 00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:27,540 Go take care of your grandma. 394 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,330 -Thank you. -I hope she feels better. 395 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:30,330 Thank you. 396 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,080 [no audible dialogue] 397 00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:39,620 [door opens] 398 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,920 Heyyy! 399 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,420 How's it going? 400 00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:46,080 Uh, did you get your application in? 401 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,500 I did! I did! Thank you! 402 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,330 Thank you so much for your help. 403 00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:50,620 It was my pleasure. 404 00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,120 So we're not gonna talk about what happened! 405 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,670 -Works for me. -Oh, me too! 406 00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:55,670 -See you later. -Ah, see you. 407 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,790 [both scream] 408 00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:01,960 Okay, we clearly need to talk about what's happening. 409 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,460 Um, what is going on? 410 00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:06,500 I mean, I barely like you, 411 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,960 and I certainly don't "like you, like you." 412 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,420 And I feel the same way about you-- times ten! 413 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,120 So what is going on here? 414 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,790 I don't know. I don't know. 415 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:22,540 Um, maybe it's because you're really passionate 416 00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:24,330 about going to this school, 417 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,330 and somehow that passion 418 00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:30,380 spilled over into your appreciation? 419 00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:33,330 Yes! Yes! My passion 420 00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:35,540 spilled over into my appreciation, 421 00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:37,330 and onto your lips! 422 00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,750 That makes perfect sense. 423 00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:40,170 -It was nothing! -Less than nothing. 424 00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,290 I'm so glad we cleared that up! 425 00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:42,330 Me too! 426 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,500 [cheering] 427 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,960 Congratulations to our benefactor 428 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,210 and to the man we're celebrating here today, 429 00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:02,210 Mr., uh, Henry Parker! 430 00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:04,460 [cheering] 431 00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:06,380 And now, in a special salute, 432 00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:09,710 the American University Drumline! 433 00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:11,080 I know you stole my sticks and put them in your locker. 434 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,620 What? What, locker, what are you, in high school? 435 00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:15,580 I don't have a locker. 436 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:18,960 Oh. Yeah, right, that makes sense. 437 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,380 Wait, if it wasn't you, then-- 438 00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:27,750 Barney Feffer. 439 00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:30,670 Congratulations! I'm giving you your solo back! 440 00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:32,540 It was never yours to give! 441 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,620 Drumline sounds amazing. 442 00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:37,580 Just wish we could see it better. 443 00:21:39,790 --> 00:21:41,330 Ooh! 444 00:21:41,330 --> 00:21:44,080 So, you played stupid and I fell for it. 445 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,080 Played stupid, or am stupid? 446 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,920 Either way, you fell for it. 447 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,790 Well, what's your beef with Parker? 448 00:21:51,790 --> 00:21:55,960 It all started 35 years ago at this very university. 449 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,580 Parker and I were assigned the same dorm room. 450 00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:02,380 I distinctly called dibs on the top bunk, but Parker! 451 00:22:02,380 --> 00:22:04,290 Okay. Okay. I've lost interest. 452 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,830 Okay, I'm taking you in. Let's go. 453 00:22:06,830 --> 00:22:08,580 Yeow! 454 00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:24,710 Nice drum roll, Barney. 455 00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,710 Oh, come on. 456 00:22:47,330 --> 00:22:48,880 Well, look at that, Barney. 457 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,540 You just got upgraded to maximum security. 458 00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:56,460 Wow, Dad, that was amazing. 459 00:22:56,460 --> 00:22:58,080 I'm so glad that we came. 460 00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:05,790 KC? What are you doing here?