1
00:00:00,420 --> 00:00:02,830
♪♪
2
00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:08,080
Thanks, Byron,
that was actually
really, really cool.
3
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,040
I've never been
to the Lincoln Memorial
at night.
4
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,830
Well, I've never seen anyone
5
00:00:11,830 --> 00:00:15,330
jump into Lincoln's lap
and take a selfie, so...
6
00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:18,330
And I've never run
so fast from security.
7
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,620
But it was your idea
to play Truth or Dare.
8
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,290
I say we keep playing.
9
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:26,960
I dare you to go out
on another date with me.
10
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,330
Oh! I pick truth
this time.
11
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,250
Fine. Tell the truth.
12
00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:35,380
Do you want to go to the movies
with me tomorrow night?
13
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I do, yeah.
It's a date.
14
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-Cool.
-Oh, uh, you have an eyelash.
15
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,830
You know what they say,
if you blow on it
16
00:00:41,830 --> 00:00:43,460
and make a wish, then
your wish can come true.
17
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,460
-Oh, well...
-Oh-kay!
18
00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:46,830
(blows dramatically)
19
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I wish you would leave
my daughter alone
20
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and go home.
21
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:54,540
You know, Mr. Cooper,
you shouldn't say
your wish out loud,
22
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,000
'cause it might
not come true.
23
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,460
And you shouldn't irritate
your date's father,
24
00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:00,880
or you won't come back.
25
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Oh, look at the time!
26
00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:05,580
-Look at it!
-I'd better get going.
27
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-Buh-bye. Buh-bye.
-Okay.
28
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Buh-bye. Look at that!
My wish came true!
29
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Hey! Ha ha!
30
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,620
Dad, come on,
that was not cool.
31
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,580
Oh, I'm sorry, but I gotta
brief you on a mission.
32
00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:18,710
Oh, what, is it Operation
KC's Never Gonna Have
a Boyfriend?
33
00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:21,540
Oh, that's
an ongoing mission.
34
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,790
-It's going on...
-Ugh!
35
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,290
...and on till you're 31!
36
00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:29,960
♪ Oh, when danger
comes for you ♪
37
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,920
♪ You know
I'll stand beside you ♪
38
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,790
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪
39
00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:41,120
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
40
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:45,170
♪ Don't tell nobody,
tell nobody ♪
41
00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:46,960
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
42
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,960
♪ So many things
I wanna tell you ♪
43
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,750
♪ But I, I, I,
I keep it undercover ♪
44
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:56,830
♪ Livin' my life,
on red alert ♪
45
00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:59,250
♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪
46
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:02,000
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
47
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,540
♪ But I always
got your back ♪
48
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,420
♪ Nobody can do it
like I can ♪
49
00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:07,420
♪ I gotta find out
who I am ♪
50
00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:10,580
♪ Ain't got to worry
about me ♪
51
00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,290
♪ It's all
part of the plan ♪
52
00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:14,380
I keep it undercover.
53
00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:15,750
I keep it
undercover.
54
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,750
This is Henry Parker.
55
00:02:20,750 --> 00:02:23,580
He donated $5 million
to American University,
56
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:26,290
and they're renaming
the library in his honor.
57
00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:28,290
There's been a bunch
of threats against him,
58
00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:30,620
so you're going
to the ceremony to protect him.
59
00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:33,880
Who would hate someone who puts
money towards a library?
60
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,750
[scoffs] I hope
it's not Marisa.
61
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,790
No, the threats
were spelled correctly,
62
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:41,880
and there were no hearts
over the I's.
63
00:02:43,670 --> 00:02:45,210
Okay, so what am I
supposed to do,
64
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:47,620
like, stand in the crowd
and keep an eye out on him?
65
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:50,620
Not exactly.
You're gonna be doing it
from the drumline.
66
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:53,040
Okay, yeah, one problem.
I don't know how to drum.
67
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,750
Which is why they should've
given this assignment to me!
68
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,620
I was actually
on the drumline in college.
69
00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:01,460
Pop! Wah!
70
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,540
I'm sorry.
Wait a minute. Uh...
71
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,120
Dad, are you suggesting
that you can
72
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,750
go undercover
as a college student?
73
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,670
Well, I think
I could pass for a senior.
74
00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:11,830
-Pfft!
-Ha! A senior what,
75
00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:13,710
a senior citizen?
76
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,540
Hey, come on.
77
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,750
Okay, okay, okay.
78
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,920
The Organization wants you
up front and center,
79
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,040
which means you have
to get the big drum solo,
80
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,170
and you're gonna do it with
these specialized drum sticks.
81
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:40,290
Oh! Thank you, DC!
82
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:43,250
You know, I got
a real career with this.
83
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,500
-Well...
-Relax.
84
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:47,670
With these, any idiot
can drum like a pro.
85
00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:50,330
-Aah! Ow!
-Okay.
86
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,250
Apparently not any idiot.
87
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,830
All right, everybody,
we need to practice
for the library dedication
88
00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:02,080
for some millionaire
Henry Parker dude, or something.
89
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,830
Look, I don't know.
90
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:05,750
I graduate
in two weeks.
91
00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,540
I am super checked out.
92
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,580
Um, all right,
where's William?
93
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:10,620
We need to go
over his solo.
94
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,750
Actually, William
couldn't make it,
95
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:14,460
so I'm filling
in for him.
96
00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:15,620
I'm Cassandra Bailey
97
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,170
from the drumline
at Georgetown.
98
00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:18,250
What's wrong with William?
99
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,670
Something about
his neck went out.
100
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500
But it's cool.
101
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,750
He taught me his solo,
so I'm good to go.
102
00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:32,460
All right. Everybody,
this is Cassandra.
103
00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:34,420
I guess she'll be
filling William's shoes.
104
00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:36,750
Ah, actually,
brought my own shoes.
105
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:40,960
Ringworm is
no joke, people.
106
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,960
This is ridiculous!
107
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,170
So, a stranger walks in
off the street,
108
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,750
and you're just going
to hand her
109
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:48,210
the biggest drum solo
of the year?
110
00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,710
Look, man, I know
you don't know me,
111
00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:51,460
but I promise you,
I got more beats
112
00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:53,000
than a farmer's market.
113
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,580
Ha ha! You know,
when beets are in season.
114
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:56,580
[rimshot]
115
00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:58,380
Thank you.
116
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,710
Oh, and you know
what I got?
117
00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,580
The rulebook.
118
00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:05,420
According to section five,
subsection A
119
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,170
of the Drumline Charter Bylaws,
120
00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:09,790
I hereby invoke my right
to a drum-off!
121
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:11,710
-Come on, Elliot--
-I invoke!
122
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,830
-I invoke!
-All right.
123
00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:15,620
All right, fine,
if it'll shut you up.
124
00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:19,250
Cassandra, Elliot,
it's a drum-off!
125
00:05:55,620 --> 00:06:00,290
Oh, ho!
Cassandra, you got the solo!
126
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:01,290
But that's not fair!
127
00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:02,670
It's okay, Elliot,
128
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:05,080
look, you can play
the solo, too, okay?
129
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,750
Just "so low"
nobody can hear you.
130
00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:10,540
[rimshot]
131
00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:11,710
Thank you again.
132
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,920
[mournful music on TV]
133
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,750
[sniffling]
134
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,880
I don't know why they said
this was a chick flick.
135
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,170
There's a lot in it
for dudes to enjoy, too.
136
00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:29,040
What're you doing?
137
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,750
Oh, um, I was watching
a war movie,
138
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:35,580
The Guns of, uh...
what do you want?
139
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:39,920
-Where's KC?
-On a mission.
140
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,710
What? No!
She's supposed to help me
with my college essay!
141
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:45,880
The deadline for the Fashion
Institute of Technology is in...
142
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,710
five hours.
143
00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,830
Good thing you didn't wait
till the last minute.
144
00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:51,330
Come on,
this is not funny.
145
00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:53,920
My essay needs to be
as strong as it can be.
146
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,750
All right, fine,
I'll help you.
147
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:57,670
Oh, thank you.
148
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,830
"Dear Fashion Institute
of Technology,
149
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,250
Please let me in.
150
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,380
Sincerely, Marisa Miller."
151
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,540
I'm bad, right?
152
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,960
No, not bad. Terrible.
153
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,420
This isn't an essay.
154
00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:14,790
Plus, you spelled
"Marisa" wrong.
155
00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:17,540
Okay, whatever.
I know it stinks.
156
00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:20,210
I don't know what else
to write about.
157
00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:22,750
Try writing
about your life.
158
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,750
Please, what am I
supposed to say?
159
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,960
That I woke up a few months
before graduation
160
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,830
and realized that I'd actually
be good at design
161
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,750
because my designs
are really, really good,
162
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:31,920
and I love design?
163
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,120
That they should accept me
into this prestigious school,
164
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,960
despite the fact that I failed
most of my classes,
165
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,790
but it was only because
I didn't really care about them.
166
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,040
But I know I would be
a success at F.I.T.
167
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,380
because I'm actually
really passionate about this
168
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:46,080
and desperately want to learn
about fashion and design!
169
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,210
Yeah, that works.
170
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,710
You're right,
it does!
171
00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:54,830
Hey, get me one
of those wrighty thingies.
172
00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:56,210
Uh, you mean a laptop?
173
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:57,670
Yeah, yeah,
one of those.
174
00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:04,710
Okay, now that you've secured
at prime spot
175
00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:07,250
next to Parker
at the library
renaming ceremony,
176
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,040
all you gotta do
is protect him,
177
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,620
and [mocking] pretend
to play the drums.
178
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,620
Really, Dad?
You're still on that?
179
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,000
Look, just being honest,
okay, you can not pass
180
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,580
for a college student
anymore.
181
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,250
Maybe if I shaved
a little...
182
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,290
Shaved off 20 years?
183
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:24,500
I get it, KC, I'm older,
184
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,080
but I can still play.
185
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,250
There was a reason
they called me Sticks
back in college.
186
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,920
Yeah, wasn't it
because you ate a lot
of fried mozzarella?
187
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,080
Okay, there were
two reasons.
188
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,880
You know what?
I'm gonna make sure
189
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,000
all your surveillance cameras
are in place.
190
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,710
Maybe you should try
bashing that drum
191
00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:39,880
instead of
your dear old dad.
192
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:46,460
Oh, uh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
193
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:48,830
Excuse me. You can't be
on the quad
194
00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:50,500
without a proper wristband.
195
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:51,880
They didn't give me one,
196
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,000
but it's cool--
I'm with the drumline.
197
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,460
Oh! Well, in that case, yeah,
let me just slap one on ya.
198
00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:01,460
-Ahh--!
-Yeah, that's right.
199
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:06,670
I'm Barney Feffer,
Campus Security,
Part-Time Division...
200
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,750
and you are
under campus arrest.
201
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,170
-For what?
-Suspicion...
202
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:14,120
of being suspicious.
203
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:23,540
Okay, look, I think
you've made a mistake.
204
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:26,670
As I've said, see?
Check my visitor's pass.
205
00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:28,920
Student of Georgetown,
Cassandra Bailey, right there.
206
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,500
No, you are a liar!
207
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,920
Because according
to my research,
208
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,960
the only Cassandra Bailey
who ever attended Georgetown
209
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,920
died in 1914 of the rickets.
210
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,920
Oh, you know,
you look pretty good
211
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,880
for a 100-year-old corpse.
212
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:46,960
Okay, look,
you know what,
213
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,460
I should not be
telling you this...
214
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,250
but I'm an undercover
police officer
215
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,880
sent here to protect
the rich guy
216
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,880
who gave all the money
to the library.
217
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,080
Oh, that's interesting!
218
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,830
You don't look
or feel like a rug,
219
00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:03,040
so why you gotta lie
like one?
220
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,170
Hmm, you know, you don't look
or feel like a security guard,
221
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,920
yet here we are!
222
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,500
I can prove it
to you, okay?
223
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,670
I have these
special drum sticks
in my backpack,
224
00:10:14,670 --> 00:10:16,540
that were given to me
225
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:21,670
by the Police Advance
Technical Department,
226
00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:24,000
Musical Division.
227
00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:27,920
Do I look stupid to you?
228
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,380
You really want me
to answer that question?
229
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,710
No.
230
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:34,420
Just try them out, okay?
They're right there
in my backpack.
231
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:36,830
Anyone who plays with them
can play like a pro.
232
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,500
Wow!
233
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:49,120
Oh, well, I mean,
color me embarrassed.
234
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,080
I am so sorry, officer.
235
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,790
Yeah, it's no problem.
236
00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:57,120
Yeah, hey,
but I guess that means
237
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,080
that we're working
the case together.
238
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,080
Oh, well, if by "working
the case together"
239
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,330
you mean going
our separate ways
240
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:04,040
and pretending we never met,
then yeah, bingo!
241
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,420
No! No, no, no, no, no!
242
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:07,500
Please. This is my last shot
243
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,120
to become a full-time
security officer.
244
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,620
I mean, right now, my badge,
it's just a sticker.
245
00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:16,750
It's just a sticker...
246
00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:18,290
Okay. Okay, okay,
you know what,
247
00:11:18,290 --> 00:11:19,620
um, how about you start
248
00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,960
by securing the perimeter
of the campus.
249
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,920
I am on it!
250
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,380
Attention all units!
Attention all units!
251
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:30,170
This is Part-Time
Security Officer Feffer
252
00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:33,040
calling for a complete
campus lockdown!
253
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,540
Okay, first, that is
a bit of an overreaction,
254
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:40,210
and secondly, that's
not connected to anything.
255
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:44,040
Oh! No wonder no one
ever answers me back.
256
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,330
I don't know.
257
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:51,380
I think it's perfect.
258
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:53,000
I would just probably add
259
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,000
a few of those things
that we talked about.
260
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000
Right. Commas!
261
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,290
I'd say this is
a great essay.
262
00:12:00,290 --> 00:12:03,580
It's real,
it's from the heart,
263
00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:06,460
it's funny,
and it's you.
264
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,120
The Fashion Institute's
gonna love it.
265
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,210
Thank you so much, Ernie.
266
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,290
Honestly, like, I couldn't
have done this without you.
267
00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:16,420
It was my pleasure.
268
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:18,170
[both scream]
269
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,620
Oh, okay, yeah!
270
00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:21,250
I'm gonna finish
this one at home.
271
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,500
Good idea. Go home.
272
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,920
All right,
I-I'll see you later.
273
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,040
-Okay.
-Bye.
274
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,250
[both scream]
275
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,080
-I'm going now!
-Please do!
276
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,250
-Okay!
-Hey, wait, that's my laptop!
277
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,830
Okay...
278
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,500
All right, everybody,
get in formation.
279
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,120
We're gonna start
with the solos.
280
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,080
Wait, wait, wait,
I can't find my sticks.
281
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,580
Why don't you use mine?
282
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:46,120
You're taking everything else
from me.
283
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,750
No, I have to use mine!
284
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:49,580
Um, 'cause that's gross.
285
00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:52,170
I mean, would you use
somebody else's toothbrush?
286
00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:53,790
Are you planning
on putting them in your mouth?
287
00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:55,420
Maybe. You don't know
my routine.
288
00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:59,710
Start us off. Now.
289
00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:04,080
One, two, three, four.
290
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,710
Five, six, seven, eight!
291
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,170
-Cassandra!
-What?
292
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:09,380
Does this group go
with, like, prime numbers
293
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,670
or something?
If so, no problem.
294
00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:13,120
Two, three, five, seven--
295
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,580
Would you please play?!
296
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:19,080
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
For sure. Gotcha.
297
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,080
Here we go. Solo.
298
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,080
Ahem.
299
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,920
Maybe your drumming
would sound better
300
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,790
if you did put
the sticks in your mouth.
301
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:40,170
Okay, Elliot, relax.
302
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:42,000
It was just a warm-up,
303
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,120
just a little bit
of a warm-up.
304
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:45,460
Let's get into this...
305
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:47,330
[exhales]
306
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,460
[whispers] Five, six, seven.
One, two, three.
307
00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:52,040
Okay. Ahem! Mm!
308
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,250
Come on, Captain!
309
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,210
She's clearly choking!
310
00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:11,290
Give me back my solo!
311
00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:13,830
You got it, Elliot.
You can go now.
312
00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:15,420
Oh, man.
313
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,460
[playing sarcastic coda]
314
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,000
You too, Cymbals?
315
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,170
Thought we were friends.
316
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,170
Oh, Officer Bailey!
Officer Bailey!
317
00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,750
Officer Bailey!
318
00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:49,210
Shh! What? W-What?
What is it?
319
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:52,330
-I found something!
-Well, clearly it
wasn't antiperspirant,
320
00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:55,960
-'cause you're drenched
in sweat.
-No, I found your-- I found--
321
00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:00,420
-I found your... [huffs]
-Okay, I need you to stop
saying, "I found your,"
322
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,710
-and tell me what you found.
-I found your sticks.
323
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:05,620
Oh! My sticks!
Okay, thank you.
324
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,420
Wait, were did
you find these?
325
00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:09,250
In that drummer guy
Elliot's locker.
326
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,330
You know, he seemed
suspicious to me,
327
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,080
so I invaded his privacy,
328
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,500
which I assumed was my right
329
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,420
when you deputized me.
330
00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:21,420
Of course, no, no, no.
Elliot is the threat.
331
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,580
That's why he wanted
the solo so bad.
332
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:27,040
He's trying
to get close to Parker
at the dedication ceremony.
333
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,380
So, what do I do next?
334
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:33,380
Okay, listen carefully,
all right?
335
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:35,380
Hold on.
336
00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:38,710
Okay. I'm listening.
337
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,250
I want you to go...
338
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,080
Go.
339
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,920
...home.
340
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,250
Hom-- Wait a minute!
341
00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:50,250
It seems like you're
trying to get rid of me.
342
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,380
I want to help!
I'm the one who found
the drum sticks.
343
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:58,880
Okay. Okay. I guess
another set of eyes
couldn't hurt.
344
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,000
You get full clearance.
345
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,880
Yes! Full clearance. Oh!
346
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,080
I haven't been fully cleared
since the arson investigation.
347
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,420
Listen here, Barney,
don't make me rethink this.
348
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,250
-Hey, hey, hey.
-What do you want now?
349
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,710
I want my drum solo back.
350
00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:28,170
Too late.
351
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:31,540
Yeah, well, I hereby invoke
section five, subsection A--
352
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:34,330
According to
the amendment bylaws
enacted in 1997,
353
00:16:34,330 --> 00:16:36,120
a formal petition
must be presented
354
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,080
in advance, for
a second drum-off.
355
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,750
Per the 2004 addendum
to that amendment,
356
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,330
it clearly states that if there
are extenuating circumstances--
357
00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:46,120
You don't know
what you're talking about!
358
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,080
Okay, enough! Enough!
359
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,250
Two weeks!
360
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,250
I have two weeks
of school left,
361
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,790
and you're ruining it!
362
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:58,380
So you'll both
just do the solo!
363
00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:00,290
You'll both stand
on either side of Parker.
364
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,170
-Got it?
-Nuh, I got it.
365
00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:04,750
Is that cool with you, Elliot?
Does it ruin your little plan?
366
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:08,080
My only plan is
to drum my butt off
at Parker's dedication ceremony.
367
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,880
Don't get in my way.
368
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,290
I will be in your way...
369
00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:15,710
except for the parts
where I choreographed
370
00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:17,540
to be out of your way.
371
00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:19,380
Then I won't be.
372
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,580
Or will I?
373
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,420
[cell phone rings]
374
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:30,420
Um, hey Bryan.
375
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,000
Hey, KC!
376
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,250
I'm at this thing
my dad dragged me to,
377
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:36,790
but I'll be free in time
for our movie.
378
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:41,170
-What movie?
-The movie we said
we were going to tonight.
379
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:44,080
The movie I already
bought tickets for!
380
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:49,000
Uh, right.
Right, right, right.
381
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,580
Yeah, of course, that movie.
382
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:53,210
Um, about that.
I can't go.
383
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:54,580
You're blowing me off?
384
00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:57,040
No, no.
I'm not blowing you off.
385
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,750
I'm just canceling
at the last minute.
386
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:03,420
Okay, that is
the very definition
of blowing someone off.
387
00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:06,580
No, see, listen,
you didn't let me finish, okay?
388
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:11,880
I can't go tonight
because my grandma is not well.
389
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:18,380
Yeah, have you ever heard
of acute necrotizing
ulcerative gingivitis?
390
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,540
Oh. No, I haven't.
391
00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:23,000
Then that's what she has.
392
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,620
I-I am so sorry.
393
00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:27,540
Go take care
of your grandma.
394
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,330
-Thank you.
-I hope she feels better.
395
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:30,330
Thank you.
396
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,080
[no audible dialogue]
397
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:39,620
[door opens]
398
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,920
Heyyy!
399
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,420
How's it going?
400
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:46,080
Uh, did you get
your application in?
401
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,500
I did! I did!
Thank you!
402
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,330
Thank you so much
for your help.
403
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:50,620
It was my pleasure.
404
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,120
So we're not gonna talk
about what happened!
405
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,670
-Works for me.
-Oh, me too!
406
00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:55,670
-See you later.
-Ah, see you.
407
00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,790
[both scream]
408
00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:01,960
Okay, we clearly need
to talk about
what's happening.
409
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,460
Um, what is going on?
410
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:06,500
I mean, I barely like you,
411
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,960
and I certainly don't
"like you, like you."
412
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,420
And I feel the same way
about you-- times ten!
413
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,120
So what is going
on here?
414
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,790
I don't know. I don't know.
415
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:22,540
Um, maybe it's because
you're really passionate
416
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:24,330
about going to this school,
417
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,330
and somehow that passion
418
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:30,380
spilled over
into your appreciation?
419
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:33,330
Yes! Yes! My passion
420
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:35,540
spilled over
into my appreciation,
421
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:37,330
and onto your lips!
422
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,750
That makes perfect sense.
423
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:40,170
-It was nothing!
-Less than nothing.
424
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,290
I'm so glad we
cleared that up!
425
00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:42,330
Me too!
426
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,500
[cheering]
427
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,960
Congratulations
to our benefactor
428
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,210
and to the man
we're celebrating here today,
429
00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:02,210
Mr., uh, Henry Parker!
430
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:04,460
[cheering]
431
00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:06,380
And now, in a special salute,
432
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:09,710
the American University
Drumline!
433
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:11,080
I know you stole my sticks
and put them in your locker.
434
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,620
What? What, locker,
what are you, in high school?
435
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:15,580
I don't have a locker.
436
00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:18,960
Oh. Yeah, right,
that makes sense.
437
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,380
Wait, if it
wasn't you, then--
438
00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:27,750
Barney Feffer.
439
00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:30,670
Congratulations!
I'm giving you your solo back!
440
00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:32,540
It was never yours to give!
441
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,620
Drumline sounds amazing.
442
00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:37,580
Just wish we could
see it better.
443
00:21:39,790 --> 00:21:41,330
Ooh!
444
00:21:41,330 --> 00:21:44,080
So, you played stupid
and I fell for it.
445
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,080
Played stupid, or am stupid?
446
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,920
Either way, you fell for it.
447
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,790
Well, what's your beef
with Parker?
448
00:21:51,790 --> 00:21:55,960
It all started 35 years ago
at this very university.
449
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,580
Parker and I were assigned
the same dorm room.
450
00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:02,380
I distinctly called dibs
on the top bunk, but Parker!
451
00:22:02,380 --> 00:22:04,290
Okay. Okay.
I've lost interest.
452
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,830
Okay, I'm taking you in.
Let's go.
453
00:22:06,830 --> 00:22:08,580
Yeow!
454
00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:24,710
Nice drum roll, Barney.
455
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,710
Oh, come on.
456
00:22:47,330 --> 00:22:48,880
Well, look at that, Barney.
457
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,540
You just got upgraded
to maximum security.
458
00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:56,460
Wow, Dad,
that was amazing.
459
00:22:56,460 --> 00:22:58,080
I'm so glad that we came.
460
00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:05,790
KC? What are you doing here?