( sustained high-pitched squeal )
Okay.
I'm getting the sense
that you're a little excited about something.
But I'm gonna need you to use your words.
Bill told me that Steve told him
that Kenny told him that Dave told him
that Greg Wilson likes you.
Well, then, it must be true.
Plus, he is planning on inviting you
to go away camping for the weekend.
Wait, go away camping?
There's no way my parents are gonna let me do that, but I could ask.
No, you don't ask, you tell.
And if that doesn't work, you beg.
And if that doesn't work, you cry.
That always gets them.
Mom and Dad,
this weekend, Marisa and I are going camping with a group of friends.
Uh... please let me go.
I know there will be boys there,
but I'm responsible and trustworthy.
( crying )
You have to let me go. I promise.
I would never do anything to tarnish the family name.
Please let me go. Please.
- It's okay with me. - Okay, honey.
Wait, that's all you got to say?
Uh, watch out for deer ticks.
I'm going camping with Greg Wilson.
This is gonna be the best weekend ever.
I am so happy, I could die.
KC Cooper must die.
Your assignment is to eliminate her.
Understood?
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep things hustle cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪
♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
I keep it undercover.
No, it's not gonna work.
Um, yes. This is perfect.
Don't move.
Don't say anything.
Understand?
CRAIG: KC? Everything okay in there?
You better say yes, or you'll never say anything again.
Yeah, Dad, I'm fine.
By the way, red plaid--
not as flattering as you think it is.
What'd you do, crawl out of a hole to insult me?
No. I didn't come here to insult you.
I came here to kill you.
Babe.
Now back in those days,
we didn't have computers in our pockets.
And everything was made with carbs and trans fats,
and no one seemed to care.
Oh, Agent Grandma,
I could listen to your spy stories all night long.
What a coincidence.
She can tell 'em all night long.
Oh, wait, wait. I got another one for you, corn chip.
The year was 1977,
and there was an international dispute,
and they called your Grandma Gayle in
to fix things, yes, they did.
How long is your mother staying with us?
For as long as she wants, Craig.
My dad's out of town, and she's afraid to be alone.
She was a spy for 40 years!
She can't spend a couple of nights alone
in a luxury condominium in a gated community?
Somebody might use the Jacuzzi after 9:00 p.m.
Ah! Ahhh!
One more word, Craig,
and I am calling your mom and inviting her here
- for two weeks. - No, no!
Now the president was just laying there,
and I stretched out my bare hand,
and stuck it in his chest cavity,
and massaged that non-beating heart back to life.
That's an amazing story, Agent Grandma.
For the first time, I feel like I'm talking to
a real, honest-to-goodness spy.
Uh, what do you call me?
Desperate, needy, stink bomb, no friends,
loaded diaper. Should I keep going?
No. You've made your point.
Did you come here to kill me
because you found out that I was going camping with Greg Wilson? STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop)
Really, it's a group thing,
and I'm surprised he even asked me,
'cause he's the shy type,
which, now that I think about it,
isn't gonna work because I'm the shy type,
so you can't really have a relationship--
Are you trying to make me squeeze this trigger?
It would speed up the process.
Don't worry. I'm gonna do it.
( scoffs ) Okay.
I am.
Whatever.
I am.
I am going to shoot you.
I always complete my missions.
Would you like me to pull the trigger?
No!
I can't do this.
Uh, yeah, I could've told you that, like,
forty minutes ago.
You don't get it.
If I don't eliminate you, the other side is going to eliminate me.
Are they?
Or are they just gonna come in my room and talk about doing it?
This isn't a joke, KC.
The other side is gonna send someone to take care of both of us.
They won't think twice about finishing the job.
You know, I gotta be honest, Brett.
I feel like our relationship
is really messed up.
KC!
Are you ready to go camping?
- Uh, no. - Why?
You don't have to do your hair, put on makeup
or wear nice clothes.
Technically, you are always ready to go camping.
Uh...
I just thought about it. Not really into it.
Not into it? You begged us to let you go.
And then, I cried.
I have been an emotional basket case.
I shouldn't be going anywhere.
You were so excited about this.
I don't understand what's going on.
Marisa, I don't wanna go.
Please, please, don't make me go.
Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm not fun?
She just told/begged/cried me.
I've created a monster.
KC, I want you to pack your bag...
Why is your door locked?
- Get in the closet. - MARISA: What did you say?
- One second. - What about the muffins?
Why was your door locked?
Do you have a boy in here?
( laughs ) I'm sorry. I just heard what I said.
Marisa, what do you want?
KC, why aren't you going on this trip?
Greg Wilson is the first guy you've liked
since that nightmare Brett.
Remember how broken-hearted you were?
I wouldn't say I was broken-hearted.
I think that's a little bit extreme.
You cried for a week.
You were all, like, "He's bad, but he's good,
he has such beautiful hair.
I'll never find another guy like him."
( Brett chuckling )
Marisa, I think you're exaggerating a little bit.
Honey, you Photoshopped what your kids would look like.
It's no secret that you were crazy head-over-heels for...
Brett!
So...
our kids.
Do they have names?
For the record, it was only one kid.
That doesn't make me seem any less pathetic.
What is he doing here?
I came to eliminate her.
Ha ha, but he couldn't go through with it.
Oh, okay, so he lied to you,
set up your family, tried to kill you,
and now, you're protecting him?
And I thought I had lousy taste in guys.
BOTH: You do.
Where's my meat loaf?
I ate it.
I didn't know it was yours.
I hid it in the back of the fridge,
wrapped in foil with a label that said,
"This is Craig's, do not eat."
Next time, be a little clearer.
- Hey, jalapeño. - Hey, Agent Grandma.
You know that story about how you saved the president's life?
That was August of 1977, right?
Yeah. Sounds about right.
Does it? Does it really?
See, I did a little digging,
and it turns out you and the president
were never in the same city in August of '77.
Are you accusing me of fabricating a story STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop)
to make myself look good?
Please. The only true part of that story
was that there was an August in 1977.
Now listen here, kumquat,
that's a whole lotta attitude for someone
who can be wiped out with a screwdriver and a magnet.
How much longer are you gonna be in that bathroom?
- Hurry up. - Screaming "hurry up" isn't helping.
Gammy's looking for you.
Oh, uh, could you just tell her
I'll be down there in a second?
Thank you so much.
Oh, I forgot to... ( gasps )
Brett Willis.
Let me explain.
There's nothing to explain.
You almost destroyed my family.
Now you will be destroyed.
Are you done?
Not yet.
Now I'm done.
Thank you.
What is going on?!
Ernie, I'm asking you as your sister.
Please do not tell Mom and Dad about this.
You can't ask me to keep a secret like that.
My nerves can't take that kind of stress.
You can't take the stress of sleeping without a night light.
I hardly use it anymore, and you know it.
KC, I have to get out of here.
This is getting way too dangerous.
- And weird. - Look, he's right.
Ernie, we need to get him out of here.
You can do this, all right?
Just go downstairs, if the coast is clear, then whistle.
Okay. I can do that.
I can do that.
( blowing air )
Ca-caw, ca-caw!
- What was that? - I forgot that boy can't whistle. Let's go.
You did the bird call, and Grandma Gayle is sitting outside?
I told you my nerves can't handle this.
CRAIG: I'm telling you, that meatloaf had my name on it.
Hide!
Oh, Craig, let it go.
I will not let this go.
I will write my name on every single piece of food
in that refrigerator.
I can't ask that old woman to leave,
but I can starve her out.
You are acting like a child.
You would too if someone kept taking your pudding cups.
You don't know it was her. It could've been Ernie.
Ernie. Ernie. Do you know what happened to your dad's pudding cups?
I didn't see anything. I didn't hear anything, I didn't taste anything.
I don't know anything about anything. Gotta go. Bye!
Where's my marker? Or did your mother eat that too?
Hey, Dad, I found it.
Oh!
KC!
Ca-caw, ca-caw!
- What was that? - I didn't see anything.
I didn't hear anything.
I don't know anything about anything. Gotta go. Bye.
We can only assume that Brett's gone rogue,
or turned by the Organization,
which is no surprise, given his past relationship
with the Cooper girl.
Your mission is to find them,
and eliminate them both.
Happily.
I'm sorry, KC. As much as I want you to have a boyfriend,
I don't think Brett is the right guy for you.
What are you talking about?
He is living in your closet,
and sending you out for fro-yo runs.
This is not a healthy relationship.
I have wracked my brain trying to figure out what to do with him.
There is no good answer.
Why doesn't he just go back to being a spy for your side?
'Cause...
That is actually a really good idea.
Thank you. Now could you say that again,
and try not to sound so shocked this time?
I'm gonna go to the Organization right now
and plead his case.
Thank you. Thanks, Marisa.
Yeah, glad I could help.
Now if only you could take my advice about ditching overalls.
Seriously. E-i, e-i, no.
This is Ursula. I've located the Cooper girl.
With any luck, she'll lead me straight to Brett Willis.
Hey, Beverly!
I didn't know you were gonna be here. STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop)
Seriously?
Where'd you think I'd be on a workday during office hours?
Getting a mani-pedi?
Zip lining in Costa Rica?
Co-starring in a Lionel Richie video?
It's just that you guys here at HQ work so hard.
I wanted to bring you by some homemade cookies.
Is the price tag homemade, too?
Uh, ha!
Good catch.
You should be a spy. ( raucous laughter )
It's funny because...
you're actually a spy.
( laughter )
Actually, not funny at all.
What do you want?
Um, I just had a hypothetical question.
So let's just say
that there was an agent who worked for the Organization,
and let's just say
that this agent also happened to work for
the Other Side.
And let's just say
that this agent was, I don't know,
ordered to, like, kill me or something.
But the agent didn't do it,
because they're actually a good guy.
What would you say about bringing him back into the fold?
Hypothetically, of course.
If you are talking about Brett Willis,
let's just say we'd lock him up in a prison cell
for the rest of his life.
As you should!
After what he did to my family?
( spits )
That is what I think of Brett Willis.
KC, you need to clean that up.
I don't like the boy either, but that's just disgusting.
See, first I did a windmill.
And then, I did a jackhammer.
And then, I took out both the bad guys
with a floating, gremlin spin.
Unbelievable.
Literally unbelievable.
Are you saying that I didn't go undercover
in a break dancing crew
to stop a company from bulldozing a rec center?
No. I'm saying it's the plot of
Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Where do you think the movie people
got the idea from, spark plug?
Agent Grandma, I say this with love.
You're full of it.
Everything I said is true.
Fine. Then why don't you bust some fresh moves right now?
Well, I would, but...
you know, I'm a little rusty and...
and old hip just ain't what it used to be.
Sure.
Fine.
Pop your puffs into speaker mode.
Pump up the jams.
And stand back, sno-cone.
( dance music plays )
Hey, Mom, what you doing?
Your laundry.
You know, for a girl who wears the same outfit every day,
you got a lot of dirty clothes.
No!
You should let me do it, Mom.
You work too hard. Let me take care of this.
Oh, no. I have asked you for three days
to put these things away.
If I don't take care of things around this house,
nothing will get done.
Brett!
Don't you put your hands on me, boy.
( gasps ) Brett Willis?!
What is he doing here?
KC, did you even think what would happen to us
if the Organization knew he was here?
It's not like I invited him.
Do you know what kind of danger you put my entire family in?
Guys, he put himself in danger
when he didn't complete his mission.
We have to help him.
No. KC, your parents are right.
I can't stay here.
Listen, I am so sorry for all the trouble I've caused.
Brett, wait.
- KC, don't. - Dad, I'll be fine.
I can't take the pressure anymore.
It's eating away at me.
KC has been hiding Brett Willis in her room.
I don't know what I was so worried about.
They didn't seem to have an issue with it at all. STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop)
KC, we have been driving around for an hour now
going over this.
There is nothing left to say.
I'm gonna pull over, you're gonna get out,
and that's it.
No. Okay, we are in this together.
As long as you are with me, you are in danger.
I think you're being overly dramatic.
Am I? Am I really?
So I'm guessing she's an agent from the Other Side.
Yeah.
Uh, her name is Ursula, and technically,
she's kinda my girlfriend.
Your girlfriend?
Your girlfriend?!
Are you telling me
that you have been dating someone,
and you didn't even have the decency
to tell me about it?
Look, I know we're not necessarily a thing,
but you could've at least mentioned it.
Oh, really?
Then what about you and Greg Wilson
and all that red flannel, huh? Huh?
At least Greg Wilson isn't trying to kill us.
Know what? Enough is enough.
What are you gonna do?
Use my training.
Kids, don't try this at home.
KC. What are you doing?
Yo, woman, watch where you're going.
You're gonna kill somebody.
That's kind of the idea.
You work for the Other Side,
you're a killer, and you litter?
I don't know what Brett sees in you.
KC, look out!
No!!