1 00:00:02,583 --> 00:00:05,708 I have your essays, and I must say 2 00:00:05,708 --> 00:00:08,166 I was underwhelmed. 3 00:00:09,166 --> 00:00:10,750 ( thinking ) Underwhelmed? 4 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:12,208 Pshh! Can't be talking about me. 5 00:00:12,208 --> 00:00:14,208 I whupped that essay's behind! 6 00:00:14,208 --> 00:00:17,875 Okay, I got a... "B"? 7 00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:19,208 He gave me a "B"? 8 00:00:19,208 --> 00:00:20,208 Any good English teacher would know 9 00:00:20,208 --> 00:00:22,125 that I deserve an "A". 10 00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:25,958 Unless... this guy's not a teacher at all. 11 00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:27,708 I bet he's an undercover agent 12 00:00:27,708 --> 00:00:29,166 sent here to get information on me. 13 00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:31,500 I bet that moustache isn't even real! 14 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,875 That man is a spy! 15 00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:36,375 K.C., shh! What-- 16 00:00:36,375 --> 00:00:39,083 No one can hear me. I'm in my own head. 17 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,166 ( bell rings ) 18 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,291 Mr. Enright, 19 00:00:48,291 --> 00:00:49,583 can I ask you a question? 20 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,583 I'm sure you can, but may you? 21 00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:54,708 ( laughing ) 22 00:00:54,708 --> 00:00:56,500 Just a little English teacher humor. 23 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:59,000 Ask me anything, K.C. 24 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,125 Glad you feel that way. 25 00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:04,625 Mr. Enright, if that's even your real name, 26 00:01:04,625 --> 00:01:06,166 who do you work for? 27 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:08,750 the Arlington Department of Education. 28 00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:10,208 Yeah, let's make this easy on the both of us. 29 00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:11,958 Who is your contact? 30 00:01:11,958 --> 00:01:12,958 Unh! 31 00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:14,625 My union rep Harold? 32 00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:18,333 I know who you really are. 33 00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:20,208 And I also know that that moustache is 34 00:01:20,208 --> 00:01:23,958 just as phony as the grade you gave me. 35 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,416 ( ripping sound, Enright screams ) 36 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:28,416 K.C.: My bad. 37 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,875 WOMAN SINGING: ♪ Oh, when danger comes to you ♪ 38 00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:37,291 ♪ You know I'll stand beside ya ♪ 39 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:41,583 ♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool ♪ 40 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:43,750 ♪ I'll always find a way ♪ 41 00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:45,708 ♪ A way out of the fire ♪ 42 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,125 ♪ But don't tell nobody ♪ 43 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:50,000 ♪ Tell nobody ♪ 44 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,875 ♪ I'm not perfect ♪ 45 00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:55,708 ♪ So many things I want to tell you ♪ 46 00:01:55,708 --> 00:01:58,583 ♪ But I ♪ 47 00:01:58,583 --> 00:02:00,083 ♪ I keep it undercover ♪ 48 00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:02,000 ♪ Livin' my life on red alert ♪ 49 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,166 ♪ Doin' my thing gonna make it work ♪ 50 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,291 ♪ Know I'm the realest baby I'm fearless ♪ 51 00:02:06,291 --> 00:02:08,291 ♪ But I always got your back ♪ 52 00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,875 ♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪ 53 00:02:10,875 --> 00:02:12,750 ♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪ 54 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:15,250 ♪ Ain't gotta worry about me ♪ 55 00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:17,291 ♪ It's all part of the plan ♪ 56 00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:19,291 ♪ I keep it undercover ♪ 57 00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:21,250 ♪ I keep it undercover cover ♪ 58 00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:27,083 Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. 59 00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:29,083 I can't believe it. 60 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,875 I asked ten girls to the dance, 61 00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:32,458 and all of them said no. 62 00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:35,708 Although a couple used stronger words than that. 63 00:02:35,708 --> 00:02:37,833 Well, I think you're gonna need my help. 64 00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:39,458 Your dad used to be aplaya 65 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:43,291 from the Himalayas back in theday-a! 66 00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:44,625 All right, your opening line. 67 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,958 Let's hear it. You see a pretty girl... 68 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,416 and you say... 69 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,750 Oh... 70 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,500 Breathe. Oh, a little strut? 71 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,083 Yeah, playa! 72 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:57,875 ( clears throat ) Did you know 73 00:02:57,875 --> 00:02:59,875 the over-consumption of sodium 74 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:03,166 is a contributing factor of pediatric hypertension? 75 00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:05,833 You can't be serious. 76 00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:09,291 No, it's true. Studies prove it. 77 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:10,458 Oh, oh, oh, oh. 78 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,125 Okay, listen to me. 79 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,875 Rule number one for getting a date-- compliments! 80 00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:16,375 Watch this. ( clears throat ) 81 00:03:16,375 --> 00:03:18,958 Well, hello there. 82 00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:20,375 Are you an unpaid parking ticket? 83 00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:23,583 Because you have "fine" written all over you. 84 00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:25,166 Oh, good grief! 85 00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:28,750 Ernie, just be yourself. 86 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,375 That way, any girl who likes you 87 00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:32,708 will like you for you. 88 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,750 Now, let's get going. 89 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,458 K.C. got in trouble at school. 90 00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:40,250 K.C. got in trouble at school? 91 00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:43,000 Must be "opposite day." 92 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,375 Which means all the girls that said no 93 00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:47,208 must have really meant yes. 94 00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,416 I have so many dates! 95 00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:51,375 Except a date with reality. 96 00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:58,500 So, Mr. Enright gives you a "B", 97 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,833 and all of a sudden, you think he's a spy? 98 00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:02,000 I know it sounds a little wacky, 99 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,583 but what do we really know about that guy? 100 00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,875 He's been teaching at the school for 15 years. 101 00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:09,291 That's called "deep cover." 102 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,375 You really believe that when you were a baby, 103 00:04:12,375 --> 00:04:14,208 enemy agents planted a teacher 104 00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:15,833 at your future high school 105 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:18,000 on the off chance that you'd become a spy? 106 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,875 That's how good they are. 107 00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:22,000 What the heck am I saying? 108 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,291 What is going on with me? 109 00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:28,208 Honey, this happens to a lot of new spies. 110 00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:30,583 It's called spy paranoia. 111 00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:33,458 Also known as "spy-anoia." 112 00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:35,416 No one calls it that. 113 00:04:36,416 --> 00:04:38,083 It could catch on. 114 00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:40,833 Wait, so I'm just being paranoid? 115 00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:42,208 All new agents go through a phase 116 00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:44,000 where they think everyone I a spy. 117 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000 We're trained to be alert about everything and everyone. 118 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,625 You just got carried away. 119 00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,833 With your spy-anoia. 120 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:54,208 I know you're anoia-ing me. 121 00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:56,708 Heh, now who's making up words? 122 00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:00,833 Wait a minute. STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop) 123 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,833 How do I know that I'm really being paranoid? 124 00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:05,375 Maybe you guys aren't even my parents. 125 00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:07,208 Maybe you're just telling me I'm paranoid 126 00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:09,583 because you think that-- Oh, wow, how do I fix this? 127 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:16,375 ALL: Ohm... Ohm... 128 00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:18,125 Ohm... 129 00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:19,583 You know what? 130 00:05:19,583 --> 00:05:21,208 I don't feel paranoid at all. 131 00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:23,458 ( groaning ) Oh, good. I'm done. 132 00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,166 Whew! From now on, the only chakra 133 00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:27,125 I'm interested in is Chakra Khan. 134 00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:31,875 Sorry I'm late. 135 00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:32,958 I was with my new girlfriend, 136 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,333 and we lost track of time. 137 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:37,000 Pfft! ( laughing ) 138 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,208 Are you kidding? 139 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:41,583 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Girlfriend? 140 00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:44,208 Okay, um, here's a little spy tip, okay? 141 00:05:44,208 --> 00:05:46,125 When you're coming up with a good cover story, 142 00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:49,208 you probably want it to be somewhat believable. 143 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:52,000 Hi, everybody, I'm Jolie. 144 00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,625 And this is my sister K.C. 145 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,208 Oh, Ernie's told me so much about you. 146 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,750 So, how did you two kids meet? 147 00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,083 Oh, I just moved here. 148 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:12,083 Today was my first day of school. 149 00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,375 I was so nervous, until I saw Ernie 150 00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:17,208 and thought, boy, he's cute. 151 00:06:17,208 --> 00:06:19,333 I'd sure like to meet him. 152 00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:26,875 So I went over, and we started talking. 153 00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:30,083 Yeah, we made chitchat. As you do. 154 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,000 And he started talking about the dangers 155 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000 of sodium and pediatric hypertension. 156 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,250 And I was all, like, 157 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:40,375 "Wow, this guy's not only gorgeous, 158 00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:42,750 he's smart, too." 159 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,458 ( mouthing words ) 160 00:06:46,458 --> 00:06:49,625 In other words, he won her heart 161 00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:52,458 by being himself. 162 00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:54,333 Jolie's an "A" student, and at her old school, 163 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,000 she lettered in four sports. 164 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,625 ( gasps) Ernie, stop it. You're embarrassing me. 165 00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:01,583 I'm just glad you didn't mention 166 00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:03,708 that I also train seeing-eye dogs, 167 00:07:03,708 --> 00:07:05,875 and I'm first chair on the bassoon. 168 00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:09,875 Well, sweetie, we better hit the books 169 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:11,458 if I'm gonna have enough time 170 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:14,333 to help push that whale back into the ocean before curfew. 171 00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:18,208 ERNIE: Let's go. See ya. 172 00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:21,000 So nice meeting you guys. 173 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,833 What a cute couple! 174 00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:26,416 I knew he had it in him. I knew he had it in him! 175 00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:32,250 Really? 176 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,208 What? What's wrong? 177 00:07:34,208 --> 00:07:37,125 Okay, you guys are messing with me, right? 178 00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,708 Come on! Jolie... 179 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,875 She's just so whoo! Yeah! You know? 180 00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:43,708 And Ernie's just kinda... 181 00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:49,708 Not following. 182 00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:52,125 Okay, let me just spell it out for you guys, okay? 183 00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:56,333 Jolie is smart, she's beautiful, interesting. 184 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,708 And Ernie... 185 00:07:57,708 --> 00:07:59,458 He's Ernie. 186 00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:02,000 Yeah, well, we Cooper men have a knack 187 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,375 for attracting beautiful women. 188 00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:04,708 I remember this one hot girl I dated-- 189 00:08:04,708 --> 00:08:05,708 And you married her. 190 00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:07,000 No, no, this one was-- 191 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,958 Yes, I married her! Yes, yes... 192 00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:14,000 Jolie is clearly an undercover spy 193 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,000 here to get information on us. 194 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,333 You're being ridiculous, K.C. 195 00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:19,708 That girl could not scream spy more 196 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,208 if she stood on a street corner 197 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,125 with a sandwich board that said "I'm a spy" 198 00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,166 written on both sides while repeatedly screaming, 199 00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:27,583 "I'm a spy" at the top of her lungs! 200 00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:30,750 Sweetheart, remember what we talked about? 201 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:32,708 Spy paranoia? 202 00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:34,250 Spy-anoia. 203 00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:36,166 It's not gonna catch on! 204 00:08:36,166 --> 00:08:38,125 Not with that attitude it won't! 205 00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:42,708 Honey, pull yourself together. 206 00:08:42,708 --> 00:08:44,083 You're right. 207 00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:46,291 I don't know what I was thinking. 208 00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:50,583 Yeah, do some of those. 209 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:53,250 Ohm... 210 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:56,291 Ohm... 211 00:08:56,291 --> 00:08:57,583 Ohm... 212 00:08:57,583 --> 00:09:02,000 Totally gonna expose that little spy. 213 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,416 Ohm... 214 00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:09,875 I am finally the head of the decorating committee 215 00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:11,833 for the dance, 216 00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:13,291 and what theme do they stick me with? 217 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,250 The I-dees of March. 218 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,166 What does that even mean? 219 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:20,291 It means you have to stay awake in history class. 220 00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:24,000 And it's the "Ides" of March, okay? 221 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,833 It was the day that Caesar was stabbed. 222 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,458 How do you dance to that? 223 00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:30,875 And more importantly, how do you decorate that? 224 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,458 So, the big dance is coming up. 225 00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:33,875 I'm going with my girlfriend. 226 00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:36,416 Have you met Jolie, my girlfriend? 227 00:09:36,416 --> 00:09:39,166 Yep, girlfriend. 228 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,000 We get it. You have a...girlfriend. 229 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,375 Well, we're dating. 230 00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:48,000 I don't want to tie myself down. 231 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,125 Smart, cute, and funny. 232 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:53,708 ( baby-talking ) What other secrets have you been keeping? 233 00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:56,125 Wouldn't you like to know? 234 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,458 Hey, K.C. Sorry I'm late. STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop) 235 00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:04,375 It was my fault. 236 00:10:04,375 --> 00:10:07,000 Oh, hey, Jolie. 237 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,250 Aren't you just like a zit that won't quit! 238 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,375 Just keep poppin' up. 239 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:15,625 Oh, I'll have to take your word for it. 240 00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:18,583 I've never had a zit. 241 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,458 Anyway, gotta go. 242 00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:21,708 Let me guess, you're gonna go volunteer 243 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,208 at the soup kitchen? 244 00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:26,083 Don't be silly. I do that on Wednesdays. 245 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,458 Bye, ladies. 246 00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:34,125 I don't trust that girl, okay? 247 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,958 Don't you find it a little odd 248 00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:38,625 that suddenly she's buddy-buddy with my best buddy? 249 00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:42,083 To be fair, I am very likeable. 250 00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:44,125 That girl is a spy, okay? 251 00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:45,291 And she's here to get information 252 00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:47,125 on me and my family. 253 00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:48,875 Why would she go to all of that trouble? 254 00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:50,333 Because that's what spies do. 255 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,708 They gather intel so that they can find your weakness. 256 00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:55,125 Or she's just your average, perfect, 257 00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:58,583 gorgeous, completely flawless, all-American girl. 258 00:10:58,583 --> 00:11:00,375 Look, we need proof, okay? 259 00:11:00,375 --> 00:11:03,458 So your assignment is to bring her to my house. 260 00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:05,750 Wait, so this is like-- like a mission? 261 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,166 What's my cover identity? 262 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,708 Someone who brings her to my house. 263 00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:13,166 Can I do it in a Southern accent? 264 00:11:13,166 --> 00:11:14,250 No. 265 00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:20,416 ( Southern accent ) My, my, it's hotter up here 266 00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:23,166 than two goats in a pepper patch. 267 00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:26,708 Wow! Cool hangout. 268 00:11:26,708 --> 00:11:29,000 Uh, thanks. Make yourself at home. 269 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:32,083 ( beeps ) 270 00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:34,750 Uh... ( nervous chuckle ) 271 00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,000 Is this one of those cool massage chairs 272 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,500 that you find at the mall? 273 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,125 Because, um, it's not very relaxing. 274 00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:44,375 ( powering down ) 275 00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,291 K.C., this isn't right. 276 00:11:46,291 --> 00:11:49,125 Even in this harsh lighting, her skin still looks flawless. 277 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:51,458 Oh, thank you. 278 00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:54,500 My secret is I absolutely wear no makeup. 279 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:59,208 Um, what exactly is going on here? 280 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:01,250 I think we all know what's going on here. 281 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,375 Um, actually, I'm still a little bit confused. 282 00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:05,500 But I'm just going with it. 283 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,500 Okay, we're just gonna have a little chitchat. 284 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,333 Who sent you here? 285 00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:11,833 Marisa invited me. 286 00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:14,333 Where were you trained? Tap dance or potty? 287 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,208 You know what? If you're not gonna talk, 288 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:18,083 you leave us no choice. 289 00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:22,416 ( Marisa gasps ) 290 00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:24,875 ( beeping, whirring ) 291 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,458 What is that thing? 292 00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:28,750 Oh, it's just a little device I like to call... 293 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:31,000 The Tickle Taser. 294 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,708 This will get you to talk. 295 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,958 ( electricity crackling ) 296 00:12:34,958 --> 00:12:37,458 ( laughing ) 297 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,083 Who sent you here? 298 00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:41,208 Why are you doing this? 299 00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:42,875 Why are you suddenly friends with Marisa? 300 00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:44,250 What? She's very likeable! 301 00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:47,166 ( laughing ) 302 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,583 What's going on in here? 303 00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:51,000 Uh... 304 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,750 Nothing. 305 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:56,416 We were just doing a little initiation ceremony. 306 00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:58,083 We were actually welcoming Jolie 307 00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:00,625 into our little circle of friends. 308 00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:03,291 No wonder your circle is so little. 309 00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:06,500 Ernie, please. 310 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,250 Your sister has been torturing me. 311 00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:09,833 I'm not surprised. 312 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:12,125 She's been torturing me my whole life. 313 00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:22,875 Why would you torture my girlfriend? 314 00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,166 Ernie, come on. 315 00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:27,708 "Torture" is such a strong word, okay? 316 00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:32,208 I would prefer "tickling the truth out of her." 317 00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:35,416 Look, I'm sorry, okay? 318 00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,083 I thought she was a spy. 319 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,125 Why would you think that? 320 00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:41,000 Because she's smart, she's funny, 321 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,875 and she's super-pretty, and you're-- 322 00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:46,625 Not smart, not funny, notsuper-pretty? 323 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:49,500 Exactly. No, that's not what I-- 324 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,458 Okay, let's just be honest, okay? 325 00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:55,458 You have a 14-year dry spell. 326 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,625 And suddenly, out of nowhere, 327 00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:03,833 Jennifer Lawrence Jr. magically drops into your lap 328 00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:05,500 after some scintillating conversation 329 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,500 about sodium intake? 330 00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:12,000 Okay, I get it. 331 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,291 Look, I know I'm not exactly 332 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,208 the best-looking guy in school... 333 00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:17,083 or the most athletic. 334 00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:18,708 And I know that a girl like Jolie 335 00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:20,708 is way out of my league. 336 00:14:20,708 --> 00:14:23,166 But what really hurts is that my own sister 337 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,708 didn't believe that a girl like that 338 00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,833 could like me for me. 339 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,708 Ernie. 340 00:14:28,708 --> 00:14:32,291 I'm so, so sorry, okay? I feel horrible. 341 00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:34,708 Good. Mission accomplished. 342 00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:41,750 All right... 343 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,000 You know, I gotta say, 344 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,250 you and Ernie are absolutely terrific together. 345 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:51,000 And I'm really hoping that we can put this little... 346 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,750 incident behind us. 347 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,458 It's not gonna be that easy, K.C.. 348 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,833 No worries. At my old school, 349 00:14:56,833 --> 00:14:59,125 I was voted "best forgiver." 350 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,583 First I was mad about all the attention, 351 00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:05,416 but then I forgave them. STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop) 352 00:15:05,416 --> 00:15:08,416 Or maybe it will be that easy. 353 00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,291 Hey, Ernie, wanna give me a hand? 354 00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:14,208 You are the grill master around here. 355 00:15:14,208 --> 00:15:15,583 What are you talking about? 356 00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:17,125 The last time he used the grill, 357 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,208 we had to get the neighbors a new cat. 358 00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:20,166 I'm just trying to make him look good 359 00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:21,583 in front of his girl. 360 00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:23,166 He doesn't need your help. 361 00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,125 She likes him for him. 362 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,958 Just don't let him anywhere near that propane tank. 363 00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,291 Excuse me. The grill master's 364 00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:32,000 gotta go do his thing. 365 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,291 ( chuckles ) 366 00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:37,125 So, uh, we're cool? 367 00:15:37,125 --> 00:15:38,875 Everyone makes mistakes. 368 00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,000 Look, I don't hold grudges, 369 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,125 because one day I'll make a mistake, 370 00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:45,000 and then, I don't want it held against me. 371 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000 Wow. 372 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:51,208 You really are perfect, aren't you? 373 00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:53,583 Well, I'm too modest to say that, but, um, 374 00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:55,208 I don't mind if you do. 375 00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:58,625 ( gasps ) 376 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,166 Oh, man, I'm so sorry. 377 00:16:01,166 --> 00:16:03,083 ( speaking Russian ) Kakoy durak. Moya rubashka! 378 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,250 ( groans ) 379 00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:08,333 Uh, excuse me. What did you just say? 380 00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:13,166 What? Oh, oh, nothing. 381 00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:16,458 I-I was just clearing my throat. 382 00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:18,291 ( coughing ) Moya rubashka. 383 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,083 Oh... ( chuckles ) 384 00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:24,166 Okay. 385 00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:31,208 ( thinking ) Clearing her throat, my butt! 386 00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:32,250 I know Russian when I hear it. 387 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:34,125 She must be a spy. 388 00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:36,375 Ooh, I so want to do my happy dance right now! 389 00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:39,000 But first, I have to tell Mom and Dad. 390 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,583 Wait, I can't tell them, 391 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,583 or they'll think it's spy-anoia. 392 00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:44,083 Hey... ( chuckles ) 393 00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:46,250 ...it is catching on. 394 00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:48,500 Okay, I have to get some proof. 395 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,000 And I know just how to do it. 396 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,250 ( blip ) 397 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,750 Yes, the secret files are hidden in my locker at school. 398 00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:04,000 I'll be there in 30 minutes. 399 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,000 Of course no one will follow me. 400 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,083 Uh, hey, guys, I'm gonna just go to the grocery store 401 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:12,208 and get some lemonade. 402 00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,125 But there's plenty right here. 403 00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:17,416 Yeah, I'm kinda in the mood for pink lemonade. 404 00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:20,333 Oh, well, I guess it never hurts to, 405 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:23,000 uh, shake it up. 406 00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:31,625 Where the heck are those secret files? 407 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,000 Looking for something? 408 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,958 Oh, K.C. You scared me. 409 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:43,000 I, uh, thought you were getting lemonade. 410 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,208 Yeah, and what exactly were you doing? 411 00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:48,416 I, um... 412 00:17:48,416 --> 00:17:53,000 had to get my... Spanish textbook. 413 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,125 Oh. Frommy locker? 414 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:59,000 And don't you mean your Russian textbook? 415 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,458 Wait, why would I need that? 416 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:01,958 I speak fluent Russian. 417 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,583 Oh... 418 00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:08,625 So, now that you've been exposed, 419 00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:10,458 what exactly was your assignment? 420 00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,458 To get close to you and your family, 421 00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,333 and gather information about your weaknesses. 422 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,875 Yes! I knew it! 423 00:18:16,875 --> 00:18:18,083 See, I had, like, this gut feeling, and-- 424 00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:19,458 Unh! 425 00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:25,000 And now I got another gut feeling. 426 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,958 I'm gonna take you down. 427 00:18:26,958 --> 00:18:28,250 Bring it. 428 00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,458 ( both grunting, shouting ) 429 00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,416 Ooh, are those the new Laser Stud Earrings? 430 00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,458 I've been asking for those for months. 431 00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,500 Yes, my handler got me them for my birthday. 432 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,291 Oh, when's your birthday? Last week. 433 00:19:17,291 --> 00:19:18,583 Oh, happy birthday. Thank you. 434 00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:24,500 I'm gonna get ya! 435 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,458 ( both shouting ) STYLE ::cue(.speaker) ::cue(.speakerTop) 436 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,958 Well, I thought this would go on longer, 437 00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:17,875 but I guess it's time to end this. 438 00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:19,958 ( spray hissing ) 439 00:20:19,958 --> 00:20:23,958 Okay... (grunting) 440 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,208 I don't think so. 441 00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:29,583 Because you're not the only one with cool jewelry. 442 00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:41,500 K.C., what happened here? 443 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:44,875 You ruined all of my hard work. 444 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:47,208 Okay,your hard work. 445 00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:50,583 Marisa, I was right, okay? 446 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,166 Jolie, she was a spy. 447 00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:54,083 I cannot wait to tell Ernie 448 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,333 that she never even liked him, 449 00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:57,208 and she was using him the entire time. 450 00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:58,583 Hey, to soften the blow, why don't you 451 00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:01,958 throw him into a cactus first? 452 00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:06,208 Or, better yet, release a honey badger on his face. 453 00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:09,833 Yeah, I, uh, see your point. 454 00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,583 You know what? New plan, Red. 455 00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:12,708 You're going back undercover 456 00:21:12,708 --> 00:21:14,000 for one final mission. 457 00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:25,166 I'm sorry I had to end it this way. 458 00:21:25,166 --> 00:21:27,208 You're such a great guy. 459 00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:28,583 I know. 460 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,583 We'll always have Monday. 461 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,583 And most of Tuesday. 462 00:21:35,583 --> 00:21:37,875 ( knock on door ) 463 00:21:44,708 --> 00:21:48,083 Oh, hi... Daddy. 464 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:56,166 So, uh, where's Jolie going? 465 00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:58,083 You're not gonna believe this. 466 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,208 Jolie just got the call from NASA. 467 00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:02,291 She's gonna be the first teen in space. 468 00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:04,958 There's nothing that girl can't do. 469 00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:06,750 Except come up with a believable story. 470 00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:09,083 Excuse me? Oh, nothing. 471 00:22:09,083 --> 00:22:11,083 Uh, I was just saying 472 00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:13,375 I know how much you guys liked each other. 473 00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:14,750 You good? 474 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,125 I will be, I guess. 475 00:22:17,125 --> 00:22:20,166 By the way, I owe you a big apology. 476 00:22:20,166 --> 00:22:21,166 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 477 00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:23,458 I just-- I guess I didn't realize 478 00:22:23,458 --> 00:22:25,166 that my dorky little brother 479 00:22:25,166 --> 00:22:27,958 was turning out to be a pretty col guy. 480 00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:32,291 We're good. 481 00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:35,708 Hey, are those new earrings? 482 00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:37,708 Oh. 483 00:22:37,708 --> 00:22:40,291 Just a little something I picked up. 484 00:22:44,875 --> 00:22:46,291 WOMAN: Rob, your name's on TV!