Previously on The Royals...
The only way to survive any of this... is to choose love.
I'd like you to deliver this to Alistair Lacey.
- I've decided I'd like to see him. - Yes, Ma'am.
I expect I can trust you as I always have, Lucius.
Of course. Implicitly.
What are you doing here, Samantha?
Just finishing what we started, baby.
It's nothing personal, Captain Lacey.
Please tell Henry the same.
And did you do as I asked?
The message was delivered and received.
Despite our best efforts to eradicate your cancer,
it seems we're losing the war.
We need to remove a testicle.
Your Majesty, let me help you.
It looks to me like everything's working just fine.
And you must be our Deputy Prime Minister.
Don't get too comfortable.
These are shark-infested waters
and those fake tits won't keep you afloat for long.
It was you, wasn't it?
I didn't kill the king of England, Ted...
...but we both know you did.
♪ Say it like you mean it
♪ Bones becomes dust
♪ Gold turns to rust
♪ Say it like you mean it
♪ Mmmm
♪ Underneath a spotlight
♪ And all the splintered wood
It's okay, I'll wait.
♪ Nothing here is shining
I'm only the King of England.
♪ Shining like it should
♪ Mmmm
♪ I'd rather watch my kingdom fall
Your Majesty?
Walk away. I'll do it myself.
♪ I want it all or not at all
A breakfast fit for a king.
What is it?
- For me? - Don't get over-excited.
It's a going away present. You're being dismissed.
- Did I do something wrong? - Your job. Too well.
Enter!
Congratulations. You're rehired.
From now on, you'll be known as Lady of the Privy Chamber.
I want you to be devoted to my well-being full-time.
And since you'll no longer be wearing a uniform,
I thought a new wardrobe was in order.
You really didn't need to do any of this.
I just like taking care of you.
I wanted to.
Go on. Open them.
Your Majesty, I am very sorry,
but I was unable to deliver it.
Captain Lacey's house was deserted.
His car is gone and his neighbors said
there's been no sign of him for months.
And his mobile?
Disconnected. I am sorry.
You did tell him not to contact you
following the paternity scandal.
Perhaps he's just doing as he was instructed.
Perhaps?
When I went to see Captain Lacey,
after your television interview,
he was angry with you, ma'am.
For using Henry's identity to conceal the truth.
Why didn't you tell me that before?
The King had just been stabbed.
You were in the midst of a paternity scandal.
I really didn't want to burden you.
Very well. Thank you, Lucius.
Your Majesty.
The former future King is trying to track me down. What's your excuse?
Ex-boyfriend. Jealous of the new girlfriend.
Careful, blondie, I could get jealous.
Nah. no, it's my agent. He's got a gig for me in Milan,
but he is pissed that I've gone rogue.
Yeah, well, one night with me tends to have that effect on people.
♪ For the last time
♪ Breathe in for the last time
Okay, well, I should probably call my agent and just deal with this.
Is this the part where you take off for Milan and leave me high and dry?
Depends how much money they're offering.
Oh, really?
Perhaps I should remind you...
...just how much your time with me is worth.
♪ Breathe out for the last time
Well, I guess I don't have to call him right this second.
Damn right you don't.
♪ Buried in a waterfall
Everything okay?
I've just heard back from Thames House.
I'm sorry, but I've got nothing on that symbol from your necklace.
MI5, MI6, Scotland Yard, no one knows anything.
You don't remember anything else from that night?
What about Ted? Did the symbol mean anything to him?
He said he'd never seen it before.
Good morning, Your Majesty.
You look dreadful.
I've just got back from the memorial.
I was sorry to see King Simon's tribute so senselessly destroyed.
For once, you and I agree. What do we know?
It was Cyrus.
Apparently, he was drunk when he returned to the palace last night
and his vehicle was damaged.
We didn't know why, until Scotland Yard called about the memorial.
The King is out of control.
For once, you and I agree.
I suppose we have you and your team to thank
for keeping it out of the papers?
Scotland Yard got the usual call to make it go away,
- but this time it wasn't us. - If not us, then whom?
We're looking into it.
Like you're still looking into my husband's murder?
I carry that with me every day.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
Well, perhaps you can regain my confidence.
I need your help finding someone.
Who?
Captain Alistair Lacey.
Do you know who he is?
I know he's a very old friend of yours.
How did you know that?
I knew because the King knew.
But your private affairs are none of my business.
I asked Lucius to deliver a letter to him,
but he claims Captain Lacey has disappeared.
I think he's lying.
Lucius has been your trusted ally for 25 years.
Exactly. And I can tell when he's hiding something.
I want you to find out what.
Hair of the dog?
You asked for this meeting. What is it you want?
A gift. A one-time courtesy to celebrate our new relationship.
A headline on immigration reform?
Color me unimpressed.
It's not what the headline says so much as what it doesn't.
"King Destroys Memorial In Drunken Rage," for instance.
When my people told me, I called in a few favors.
It helped mitigate the fallout.
Witnesses were paid off and as we speak,
there is a rumor circulating that will ultimately blame the anti-monarchists.
I think the words you're looking for are, "Thank you."
Is that it? Is that your gift?
Well, I hope you've kept the receipt
because I don't need your help mitigating shit.
Furthermore, you don't do me favors. I do you favors.
You're only in line to be Prime Minister
because you happened to be standing next to the guy who died.
I could say the same about you, my King.
If you don't sign the act confirming me as Prime Minister,
you're looking at a constitutional crisis.
And as for not caring what the people think...
...you might want to check page five.
You know what they say about guys with big chins.
No balls.
What do you want from me?
Your Majesty...
- What is it? - It's the Queen, Sir.
She's been asking about Alistair.
She wants me to find him.
And?
- I've taken care of it. - Good.
Because only one of us in this room has sovereign immunity.
- Psst! - You're late.
You sure we're good to talk down here?
I've looped the cameras in this zone. Where were you?
I couldn't find the door.
Six steps took me past it.
I think you're forgetting how long my legs are, baby.
What are you doing, Samantha? This wasn't part of the plan.
You don't leave me much choice.
First, radio silence and now I show up to find out you've made zero progress?
You owe me the explanation, not the other way round.
Lots of shit happened that I had no control over.
I went silent after the King was attacked. Everyone was a suspect.
Including me. I've only just begun to earn their trust back.
Exactly why you shouldn't have come.
Some of our best work's been done on the fly, baby.
Not this time.
Make whatever excuse you have to make and say goodbye to the Princess.
This is my plan. My con.
I'm the one in control here, not you.
Let me guess. He offered you a pile of money and you have to go to Milan.
He did offer me a pile of money...
That's good.
...but I turned him down.
Screw Milan. I would so much rather be here with you.
Ooh, thank you.
To a perfectly lazy brunch.
If by lazy you mean the motorcade we took to get here,
the security sweep before we stepped foot in the restaurant
and the paparazzi circling like vultures outside,
- then, sure, lazy brunch it is. - Lazy.
Yeah.
Mm.
So, your silver fox... What's his deal?
He's making me guess his story.
All I know is that he's a former cop
who recently joined Royal Protection.
- Any thoughts? - My guess...
He went undercover with the mob, deep cover, like, seven years.
Lines became blurred.
Eventually, he had to decide whose side he was really on.
Donnie Brasco. And no.
Never fear. I'll suss you out eventually, Mr. Fox. I will.
So what happened to the last bodyguard?
Did you banish him from the kingdom?
I wish.
A long story.
I've still got half a glass. Bring it.
We kind of had a thing. It was messed up. He was messed up.
And, then, like all great romances, he slept with my mum.
- Wow! - Yeah. Not cool.
But you were really into him?
Yeah, you know, I love slumming it with the help.
Okay.
He was a good shag. That was it.
Okay. Whatever you say.
Hey, it was nothing.
He was nothing.
He's certainly no you.
Thanks to your little stunt,
the entire country is now debating your lesbianism.
More like mastur-debating.
I didn't know anyone was watching.
Oh, please, Eleanor. You know damn well someone is always watching.
Thanks to this photo, you're now the poster child for the LGBTQ movement.
What the hell does the Q stand for, anyway?
Questioning, darling.
Well, let's be frank, we've all spent time in Q.
Darling, don't tell me you haven't tasted the rainbow
once or twice in your life.
Mm? Oh, please.
What do you have to say for yourself?
I wasn't trying to make some big statement, Mother.
I've finally found someone that I really like.
"Choose love," remember? Those were your words.
- I was high. - Ha! Mother Of The Year.
Pot, kettle...
And don't you dare turn this back on me.
Being a Royal comes with the responsibility of the public spotlight.
We can't just go about doing anything we please.
Someone should tell that to Cyrus.
Oh? What has our dear uncle done now?
- Destroyed Dad's memorial. While drunk. - What?
I certainly don't condone Cyrus's actions.
Well, he's always been jealous of Simon.
I suppose the memorial antagonized him.
Oh, of course. It's my fault.
Well, if the kettle fits...
I'm helping the Queen on a personal matter
and, as such, I won't be attending this afternoon's Investiture.
I am, therefore, relying on you two to take the lead.
All security clearances and backgrounds should be checked and double-checked.
- Yes, sir. - Things have progressed rather quickly
with Princess Eleanor's new friend.
I think it's time we vet her more thoroughly.
Actually, I took the liberty of running the usual drill with Royal Protection.
- She checked out. - The Princess is my detail.
Old habits. I appreciate the initiative, Mr. Frost,
but from now on, Mr. Hill handles all matters relating to the Princess.
Make sure he gets a copy of the report.
Understood.
My timing is impeccable.
Oh, blast. I was hoping to surprise you with my finished look. Zip me.
All of the gifts, the promotion...
It's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
You're wonderful. Truly.
Tell that to page five.
It's just a silly cartoon.
I'm sure they do this sort of thing all the time.
Why should this one bother you any more than any other?
Now shoo! I want to surprise you with my next look.
Clearly you have a thing for maids.
Oh, shut up.
She makes a good point.
Why should this one bother you more than any other?
Do you have any idea what it was like growing up in your shadow?
Being reminded at every turn that you're nothing more than genetic back-up?
Not my fault.
You're wrong.
Dead wrong. Pun intended.
You were my big brother.
You could've looked out for me. Stepped aside from time to time.
Let me see some of the sun.
You could've helped me, but you never did.
You couldn't be helped.
Instead of commanding respect...
...you manipulate, you lie, you threaten.
You could never step out of my shadow because you don't deserve the sun.
You're not a King... and you never will be, brother.
Lucius?
Lucius!
That cartoonist.
The one who poked fun at me in today's paper. Invite him to the ceremony.
I think it's time the press got to know the real me.
How very gracious of you, sir.
I will get in touch with him straight away.
You want to see a King?
I'll show you one, brother.
I'll show you all.
Really? You drove here?
You try walking across the palace grounds once you've lost a plum.
Now, that's a greeting.
- Is that our doe-eyed maid? - Not maid.
Lady of the Privy Chamber.
What is it with this family and the help?
My father was greatly inspired by your work, Mr. Cabral.
Your father was one of the good ones. Truly.
Mr. Cabral, may I introduce Ambassador Jean?
- Excuse me, Your Highness. - Pleasure.
Alright, I'll see you later.
So, are you here for the dessert or the booze?
Both.
My family's trust funds Oscar's charity.
When he sought political asylum here,
my grandfather sponsored him for citizenship.
He's incredibly inspiring, isn't he?
He is. And inspiration seems to be a rare commodity these days.
Your Majesty, may I present Mr. Levi Drew?
The editorial cartoonist of the Independent Times.
Mr. Drew, so kind of you to join us.
I must say, I was a bit surprised to get the invite.
Nonsense. I thought your cartoon was rather funny.
So important not to take oneself too seriously.
Plus, I've always said my chin is my best feature.
How's our Deputy Prime Minister?
- Still clawing your way to the middle? - Congratulations.
There seems to be a sudden change in support for your Succession Bill.
Strange, that.
Maybe our Members of Parliament know a good idea when they hear one.
Maybe. Or maybe you've been currying favor with the MPs.
Which would be a vast overstep of your very limited powers as Dowager Queen.
Queen Consort.
Perhaps a lesson in royal lineage for you.
Let me be clear.
The monarchy has no place meddling in Parliament.
So, whatever it is that you're doing, stop!
F-M-L.
Who's your friend, Eleanor?
Today, we honor the incomparable Oscar Cabral.
A man who inspired a nation.
Not only with his voice,
but through the subversive power of his art.
A political activist who helped bring peace to a war-torn nation.
An artist who suffered the horrors of being a political prisoner,
then painted his way to freedom.
It's all so... nice.
That's one approach.
My approach is somewhat different.
Unlike my predecessors
and unlike the leaders of this country,
I'm done pandering to the ignorant herd.
This country used to be great,
but that was when the monarchy was great.
It's time someone put the balls back on this throne.
Back on this country.
Stand up, please, sir.
You can't arrest me for drawing a cartoon.
I have a right to my opinion.
If you want free speech, go to America.
Great work, Cabral.
Careful what you paint.
You certainly showed them.
I certainly did.
The thing is, you can make all the speeches you want
and destroy every last effigy.
It doesn't alter the fact that you will never be able to step out of my shadow.
Not truly.
Eventually, the people will forget you.
They always forget the nice kings.
Nice is boring.
But the people will remember my name forever.
They don't have to like me, but they will fear me.
So go back to wherever you came from.
It's my turn to be King.
My time.
You're different than I expected.
Excuse me?
Well, they've always chalked you up to be nothing more than the Playboy Prince.
The fun one. But I was watching you during your uncle's speech.
You care. You were just as disgusted with Cyrus's behavior as anyone.
Okay.
What I'm trying to say is we may have more in common than I realized.
Maybe we can help each other.
I saw you going toe-to-toe with my mother earlier.
While I respect anybody that's willing to go up against her,
I'm done being a pawn in other people's games.
It hasn't really been working out for me.
No games. I just want to talk.
Oh, shit.
Is that wool?
Definitely gonna stain.
Will you excuse me?
You're welcome.
Thank you?
You clearly didn't want to be in that conversation.
It was the best I could come up with on short notice.
You're right. You want to get out of here?
Absolutely. Where to?
I know a place.
At first glance, it seems your primary interests are baked goods,
binge drinking, philanthropy and polo.
Seriously though, how is it you came to play polo?
Female players aren't exactly a dime a dozen.
Especially not ones as good as you.
My father is a polo player.
Or at least he was one until he met my mother.
At the time, she was engaged to some Lord or another.
An appropriate choice.
So, when she broke off the engagement,
because she fell in love with a low-born Argentine ten-goaler,
it was quite the scandal.
My grandfather, a Viscount, furious.
He all but disowned my mother.
I grew up on a farm in Argentina
where my father trained and sold polo horses.
So what happened?
My grandfather's health began to fade and he had a change of heart.
Decided he wanted to know his only grandchild.
Your mother chose love.
She gave it all up for the one she wanted.
She did.
It wasn't always easy but, in the end, it all worked out.
My mother did the opposite.
She chose wealth and power.
I'm afraid the consequences of that choice are still playing out.
I found this on a table at Captain Lacey's house.
It's a burn mark from a shell casing.
The type you get when a firearm has been discharged nearby.
A gun was fired in Alistair's cottage?
Yes. And yet there was no obvious sign of a struggle.
Something happened at Alistair's cottage
and someone's gone to a great deal of trouble to cover it up.
You wanted to see me, Your Majesty?
Join me for a glass of whiskey?
I would be honored, ma'am.
Thank you.
The strangest thing happened at the ceremony today.
I saw Alistair in the crowd.
- That's not possible. - Why?
I looked everywhere for Captain Lacey.
If he made it onto the palace grounds, I would know.
But that's not why you're so certain I couldn't have seen him today, is it?
How many times have you lied for me over the years, Lucius?
A hundred? A thousand?
Do you really think I don't know what it looks like?
Now tell me the truth.
I can't.
You can.
What was done... was done to protect the monarchy. To protect you.
What was done, Lucius? What did you do?
- He's gone, Your Majesty. - Gone?
Gone where? Gone why?
You tell me what you did, goddammit!
He's dead.
It had to be done.
Once you lied about Henry,
about Alistair's identity, he was a loose-end.
A liability.
I couldn't stand by and watch him ruin everything you've sacrificed.
Everything that we have worked for.
You must understand, Helena.
Take him away.
Everything I've done, I've done out of love for you.
Alistair's not the only one I'll never see again.
Now, walk... away.
So this is your drinking spot.
I like it.
I used to come here when I was a kid.
Usually, when I didn't want to be found.
Not to drink.
I'm sorry again about today. My uncle was way out of line.
My father was right.
We're a bunch of zoo animals.
We don't deserve the monarchy.
Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all.
Get out.
Let them have it.
You're a tragic figure, Liam. You know that?
I get wanting to walk away.
But you're as in as anyone ever has been
and I think you always will be.
Like it or not, you have an opportunity.
To inspire us.
To remind us to be great.
Because, if not the monarchy, then who?
Corporations?
Celebrity?
So... maybe the answer isn't walking away.
Maybe you should try and change it from the inside.
Enter if you must.
If it isn't my favorite grandmother.
Well, I have a 50/50 chance. Here.
- What is this? - An early birthday present.
Well, I have to go to Monte Carlo, so I'm going to miss your party.
- Oh, okay. - Mm-hm.
Oh, my God!
You and diamonds, like gin and tonic, are destined for each other.
- You are the best. Thank you, Grandma. - Yes, I...
- Darling, watch the hair. - Oh, yes. Sorry.
So, now, listen.
I love a grand entrance more than anyone,
but it's obvious to me
that you were just using that girl to get under your mother's skin.
But you have a responsibility to the public.
If you're going to take a stance, do it for the right reasons.
What happens now?
Now we wait for the police to arrive.
I don't suppose I'll ever be coming back here.
I think that's fairly safe to assume.
Hm.
My life was never in here. It was always out there.
Everything that mattered to me,
everything that was important...
...happened on the other side of that door.
It's a Webley Mark IV revolver.
My grandfather used it in the Great War.
They don't make them like this anymore.
No, they don't.
That's not unlike you and I.
There aren't too many people out there willing to make the hard decisions.
Decisions no one else will make.
I've given everything I have to the monarchy.
I lived to serve them.
To serve my Queen.
Now I have nothing more to live for.
Tell her I loved her.
If you truly love her... there is another way.
You'll never get her back. I know you understand that.
But there is one final thing you can do for your Queen.
Anything.
Our nation suffered a great blow when Simon died.
And, with no killer brought to justice, the wound refuses to heal.
Our country needs closure.
Her children need closure.
Most of all...
...she needs this.
Is there no other way?
You're already a murderer, Lucius.
Think of it as one final act of grace for her.
I stabbed him.
Once in the stomach and once in the chest.
I'm gonna need you to repeat that.
I killed the King of England.
So it was Lucius, then. Ted Pryce confirmed.
That he killed Simon?
He didn't.
Then why confess?
Out of some deranged sense of loyalty, I suppose.
And as broken as that is, we're going to let him.
Because he may not have killed Simon...
...but he did kill Alistair.
My god.
How? Why?
Because of the lies we told.
Because of the lies I told.
Now I've got to look my children in the eyes
and tell them their father's murder has been solved.
More lies.
Look, if this is about the Investiture...
It isn't.
I wanted you to hear this from me before you hear it later on the news.
- Hear what? - Your father's killer has been found.
It was Lucius.
He was furious with Simon for wanting to abolish the monarchy.
He's confessed. He's in custody.
I know this comes as a great shock...
...but perhaps now we can all begin to put this dark episode behind us...
...and begin to heal.
Are we sure it's true? It was Lucius?
Yes.
All this...
- ...yet you still feel nothing. - For God's sake!
Why don't you leave me alone?
What is it you want?
To warn you.
Maybe your sins can be covered up in this lifetime...
...but, eventually, we all pay for our sins.
"Confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in our days of nature
Are burnt and purged away".
♪ Say it like you mean it
♪ Bones become dust
♪ Gold turns to rust
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
♪ Say it like you mean it
Just thinking about my dad.
I think he would've been really proud of you today.
I thought you were brave.
He would have been glad I've finally found someone I really like.
♪ Nothing here is shining
Less proud I used them to piss off my mom.
Truth is, I wasn't being very brave at all.
So that's what that was about?
♪ I'd rather watch my kingdom fall
Sorry.
♪ I want it all Or not at all
My mother makes me crazy.
Yeah.
♪ I'd rather watch my kingdom fall
Did you really mean what you said?
You've finally found someone you really like?
♪ I want it all or not at all
Good.
Because the truth is,
I haven't felt this way about someone in a really long time.
♪ Tell me that it's true
So, now...
Tell me the truth.
Am I the best you've ever had?
Even better than that bodyguard?
I don't want to talk about him.
That was something else.
♪ I'd rather watch my kingdom fall
You have an opportunity to inspire us.
To remind us to be great.
Maybe the answer isn't walking away.
Maybe you should try and change it from the inside.
♪ I want it all or not at all
Why the hell are you still here?
How far do these tunnels go?
Do you have any idea of the shitstorm you're causing?
The Internet is blowing up about the Princess's new girlfriend.
I've been working hard to shore up your identity. You are gonna blow this con.
You're worried the Princess will find out
the real reason you came to the palace.
I saw the way you looked at her at the ceremony.
Whatever I had with her, it was all part of the con.
Bullshit. You fell in love with her.
And you know how I know? Because you had her in your pocket
and you didn't follow through.
But don't worry, she's not in love with you anymore.
It was a nice touch by the way, sleeping with her mom.
Classy.
She told you about that?
Oh, she told "Mandy" everything.
Including the fact that she can't stand you.
So I suggest you tamp those feelings deep, deep down and let her go.
We're moving up the plan.
The Prince and Princess's birthday party
is the perfect opportunity to steal the Koh-i-Noor.
So pack your bags, baby, because we're stealing that diamond
and we're getting the hell out of here together.
♪ Or not at all
♪ I'd rather watch my kingdom fall
♪ I want it all or not at all ♪