1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:03,070 [ Siren wails ] Anchorwoman: They're calling it one of today's news stories. 2 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:06,406 Two fugitives -- Angela Tribeca and Angela Geils Jr. 3 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:10,644 are on the run after a plot to steal the Louisiana Purchase 4 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,013 was foiled by Vice President Perry. 5 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,283 Their last known location was inside a convenience store. 6 00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:18,719 [ Chime plays ] 7 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,388 Do you have anything to clean off DNA? 8 00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:23,557 No. Sorry. [ Clang ] 9 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,593 Can I get a six-pack of Coors Light? 10 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,362 [ Mumbling ] 11 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,430 And a beef roll-up. 12 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:31,999 Credit or debit? 13 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,601 Do you take bills with fluorescent dye all over 'em? 14 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,703 Just nothing over $20. 15 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,805 I'm gonna go warm up the car. 16 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:43,243 You in the convenience store, they're right in front of you. 17 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,279 [ Door bell dings ] 18 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:49,349 Ah, ah, ah, ah! 19 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,518 [ Paper rustles ] 20 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,687 Don't even think about it. 21 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:57,624 ♪♪ 22 00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,192 Grab the beer. 23 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,062 [ Knocking ] 24 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:07,234 Nice car you got here, lady. 25 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:10,537 Trade you this crowbar for it. 26 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,106 [ Engine starts ] 27 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,908 ♪♪ 28 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,978 Sucker! [ Laughs ] 29 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,814 [ Gunshot ] 30 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:28,088 ♪♪ 31 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,657 Ugh! They didn't clean. 32 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:34,594 ♪♪ 33 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,330 [ Whining ] 34 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,399 [ Muffled screaming ] 35 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,435 Uh, yeah. We're gonna need housekeeping in room 102. 36 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,537 Man: Look out! [ Distant screaming ] 37 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,838 [ Gunshots ] 38 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,039 No, it's fine. 39 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,808 Everything's been lovely so far. 40 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,877 Yeah, thank you. Okay. 41 00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,947 [ Sighs ] 42 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,984 What's going on, son? 43 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,919 It's just hitting, you know? 44 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:02,956 The SDF, the "team." It was all a shame. 45 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,691 Scholls, Atkins. 46 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:07,794 Jesus! Charo. 47 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,896 The woman I went to second base with. 48 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,231 She was playing me the whole time. 49 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:14,368 [ Curtains rattle ] Don't forget Hoffman. 50 00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,903 More people in my life that abandoned me. 51 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,006 Hey. That is not fair, okay? 52 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,975 I abandoned you to make my life easier, 53 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,077 not for some kind of international land grab. 54 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,979 How could I believe in anybody anymore? 55 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,582 You can't. I learned a long time ago 56 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:31,651 that human beings are rotten to the core. 57 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,021 They only do things that benefit them in the short term. 58 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,556 I call that bed. 59 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:39,126 I thought they cared about us. [ Water pours ] 60 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,827 I thought they cared what we're doing. 61 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,396 I know. 62 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,299 You were so stupid. 63 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:50,937 But hey. You got me, okay? 64 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:54,408 And I'm never, ever gonna abandon you... 65 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,143 for a second time. 66 00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,011 And even though he hasn't been featured in this season, 67 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,014 your father cares about you, too. 68 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:04,217 That's why he sent this for you in the mail. 69 00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:06,186 Dad's badge. 70 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:11,158 I can't believe he remembered my birthday. 71 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:14,127 Yeah, how could anyone forget that? 72 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:19,800 That's why I got you this very special, uhh, 73 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,203 bible with a bullet hole in it. 74 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,208 Whoa. Cool. 75 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,610 You could spin it on your finger and everything. 76 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:34,781 Thanks, mom! Now, what's this about going to second base? 77 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:39,753 ♪♪ 78 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,022 [ Grunts ] 79 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,791 [ Muffled screaming ] 80 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:51,098 ♪♪ 81 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,667 I want them found, and I want them found now. 82 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,569 Are those them! 83 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,338 Oh, my God. Every time. 84 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,340 So, who wants to tell me how we let 85 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:03,844 A.J. and Tribeca escape after we flawlessly framed them 86 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:07,347 for stealing the Louisiana Purchase? 87 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:11,051 Hmm? 88 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,353 I'm gonna start calling on people. 89 00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:16,957 Sweetheart, we've tracked their location to a 25-mile radius. 90 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,325 Their credit cards have been frozen. 91 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,793 Their passports have been canceled, 92 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:22,696 and their Uber ratings have been downgraded to one star. 93 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:26,399 I can't stay mad at you. 94 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,502 [ Kissing ] 95 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,105 [ Laughs ] 96 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,608 There's something going on between you two. 97 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,510 Listen, Joe, I take full responsibility 98 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,245 for the fact that these guys screwed up, 99 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,381 but we need to stay focused on the task at hand. 100 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:45,385 Returning the Louisiana Purchase to the President of France. 101 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:49,489 Thereby undoing the disastrous transaction made in 1803. 102 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:52,125 And forming a new country in the central United States 103 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,760 of which you will be made President, 104 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:54,995 and I will be First Lady. 105 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,697 Yes. Yes. 106 00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,467 ♪♪ 107 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,169 Now then, the President of France 108 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:05,372 is awaiting my arrival at Gerard Depardieu Airport. 109 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,007 While I'm aboard Air Force Two, 110 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,775 I want you to track down A.J. and Tribeca. 111 00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,477 They're the only thing that stands between me 112 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,145 and becoming the president of what I'm gonna call 113 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,148 Lil' France with a hop-hop apostrophe after Lil' 114 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,350 to play to the younger citizens. 115 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,753 You said you were going to name it Scholls. 116 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,488 It didn't test well. 117 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:25,125 Good call on whoever ordered the deli platter. 118 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,029 I am famished. 119 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,598 [ Chomp ] Ohh. 120 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,500 What are we gonna do? 121 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,136 Once that document gets to France, it's game over. 122 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,605 They'll have the deed to the entire Midwest. 123 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,944 Okay, so we figure out a way to sneak aboard Air Force Two. 124 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,412 We secure the Purchase. 125 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,647 Hold Perry hostage. Notify the president. 126 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,482 And then land safely at Andrews Air Force Base. 127 00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,285 Air Force Two is the second-most secure plane in the world. 128 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,655 I realize that. And we're wanted fugitives. 129 00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:58,124 Our faces are plastered all over town. 130 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,695 But his isn't. 131 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,598 But our faces are. 132 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,299 And we're the ones that need to get on the plane. 133 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,069 But if one of us had his face, we would sail right through. 134 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,604 But one of us doesn't. 135 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,205 So, we still have the same problem. 136 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,609 But what if one of us did? 137 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,210 [ Sighs ] Ugh. 138 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,979 She's saying that if you cut off my face 139 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:23,617 and put it on one of your faces, you can pass through security. 140 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:27,120 Oh, so you mean we take his... 141 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,657 face off? 142 00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:33,193 I will become him. 143 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,265 [ People groan ] 144 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,233 Sorry, folks. Looks like Air Force Two 145 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,703 is stuck here another 45 minutes. 146 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,006 [ Indistinct conversations ] 147 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,375 Cardin! 148 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,510 How the hell did you get away from those animals? 149 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,512 [ With American accent ] It sure as hell wasn't easy. 150 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,881 Tribeca put up quite a fight. 151 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,250 Man, she's amazing. 152 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,586 What happened to your French accent? 153 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,021 Oh, right. 154 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,957 You know that thing where you start to bond with your captors? 155 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,525 I must have taken on their accent. 156 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,594 [ With French accent ] Oh, there it is! 157 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,262 Ahh, liberation! 158 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:13,166 Ah, it's very sweet and -- 159 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:16,469 Anyway. Pierre. You're here. 160 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:17,470 How on earth? 161 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,807 Actually, it was easiest on earth. 162 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:24,044 Tribeca and A.J. were no match for Pierre Cardin. 163 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,578 Although Tribeca does somehow manage 164 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,448 to be both tough and elegant at the same time. 165 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,918 Really? That's not how I would describe her. 166 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,321 [ Radio crackles ] Gate agent: Okay, folks. 167 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,022 Looks like we've got things sorted out here 168 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,624 and are ready to board Air Force Two. 169 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,426 We are calling families and small children 170 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:43,630 and anybody who needs additional time to get on the aircraft. 171 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,365 Let's go. 172 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,069 [ Blows ] 173 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,670 -Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. -It's a red light. 174 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,139 Oh, no, no, no. 175 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,475 And then we went to Jefferson Memorial. 176 00:07:55,475 --> 00:08:00,714 Ugh. Hands down, filthiest bathrooms I've ever seen. 177 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:04,084 I could barely flush. Zero toilet paper. 178 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,319 Urine all over the sink. 179 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,589 Could you maybe find another seat? 180 00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:10,957 Oh, sorry. 181 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,158 Secret Service has to stay near 182 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,729 the vice president at all times. 183 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:19,232 Season Two of "The Detour." Nice. 184 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,768 [ Horn honks ] [ Bong! ] 185 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,437 Pilot: That chime means we've reached our cruising altitude, 186 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,673 and you are free to silently fart in your seat. 187 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,141 Oh, good. 188 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:31,344 Uh, pardon me, I'm going to see 189 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:36,016 if they have gluten-free blankets. 190 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,184 Attendant: What can I get for you, Mr. Vice President? 191 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,019 I'll just have a cup of coffee, please. 192 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,488 We have Coors Light. 193 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,657 Coors Light, as in born in the Rockies, Coors Light? 194 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:47,327 Yes. Well, why didn't you say so? 195 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,396 I'll have one now and another one in an hour 196 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:52,365 when my body has safely metabolized the first one. 197 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:56,002 And that's it. Good thinking, sir. 198 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,738 [ Fan blowing, can opens ] 199 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:07,814 ♪♪ 200 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:13,753 ♪♪ 201 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:15,755 [ Grunts ] 202 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:18,091 I hope it wasn't too cramped in there for you. 203 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:25,665 ♪♪ 204 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,800 [ Grunts ] 205 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,002 [ Crash! ] 206 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,904 Thanks, mom. How we doing? 207 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,207 Armed and dangerous, son. Armed and dangerous. 208 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,809 [ Guns cock ] 209 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:45,952 ♪♪ 210 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:48,421 Let's move. Okay. You work your way up from the back. 211 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,390 I'm gonna follow this compartment all the way to the front. 212 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,859 Copy that. And hey. 213 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,761 Be careful. 214 00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:59,265 I don't want anything happening to my baby boy. 215 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,203 [ Kiss ] 216 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:07,273 ♪♪ 217 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,042 [ Sobs ] 218 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:12,479 ♪♪ 219 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,647 Hyah! 220 00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,583 [ Grunts ] 221 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:20,086 ♪♪ 222 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,255 [ Sniffs ] 223 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,157 Hyah! 224 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:29,229 ♪♪ 225 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,531 Whoo. 226 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,868 Hyah! 227 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,005 [ Curtains rattle ] 228 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:43,610 ♪♪ 229 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,245 Ha! 230 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:55,121 ♪♪ 231 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,123 Hyah! 232 00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:02,328 ♪♪ 233 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,997 Whoo. 234 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,767 Oh, wait. Shit. 235 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,802 Ugh. 236 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,504 Nope. 237 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,072 Ugh. [ Slapping ] 238 00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,474 What, what?! What's happening? What's going on? 239 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:17,043 Shut up. You're coming with me. 240 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:20,280 Not if the Secret Service has anything to do with it. 241 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,549 [ Snorts ] 242 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,954 Move it. 243 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:33,359 You sure this is the right place? 244 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,761 No doubt about it. 245 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,796 Sir? 246 00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:37,997 I found Cardin. 247 00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:41,734 [ Moans ] 248 00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:42,669 Oh, my God. 249 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,840 Well, well, well. 250 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,410 If it isn't Vice President Joe Perry. 251 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,778 You're not Cardin, are you? 252 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:53,646 Why don't you figure out who I am? 253 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,682 I'll give you 20 years. 254 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:56,583 Tribeca. 255 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,351 In the flesh... 256 00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,652 of another person. 257 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,387 You'll never get away with it. 258 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,755 These pilots are flying to Paris, 259 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,224 no matter what orders they're given. 260 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,525 I don't know. 261 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,260 I think the pilots might be swayed by your head 262 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,828 rolling into the cockpit. Well, of course. 263 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,064 Anyone's gonna be curious about that. 264 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,265 Care to wager? 265 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,067 Loser gets 20 years in prison. 266 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,904 All right! I sent you to prison for 20 years once! 267 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,306 Jesus! Turn this plane around! 268 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,809 We're calling the president, and we're landing in Washington. 269 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,210 Hope you like being executed. 270 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:26,045 I'm afraid we'll never find out how he feels 271 00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:28,014 about being executed. [ Gun cocks ] 272 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:30,350 Drop the guns. Now. 273 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:32,518 Sure thing. 274 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:33,886 [ Gunshot ] 275 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,788 Ugh! 276 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,693 Anyone see that coming? 277 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,062 Mom, you shot Dr. Scholls! 278 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:46,199 Scholls died the second she switched sides. 279 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,668 Monica, I'm sorry. 280 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:52,905 Thank you for raising me those three weeks when I was a baby. 281 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:59,846 I loved kissing your big...chubby...teeth. 282 00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:03,883 ♪♪ 283 00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:07,420 Why don't I just go talk to the pilots about changing course? 284 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:10,890 [ Beeping ] 285 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:14,594 Sir? Air Force Two is changing course. 286 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,230 Something's wrong. 287 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,966 I thought you said we had some down time before it landed. 288 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,236 Come in, Air Force Two. Come in, Air Force Two. 289 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,537 [ Radio crackles ] 290 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,172 This is Perry. 291 00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:29,342 Joe. It looks like... 292 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,743 your plane is changing course. 293 00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,378 Everything okay? 294 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,647 Everything is okay. 295 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:38,918 Are you sure everything's okay? It doesn't sound like it. 296 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:42,288 No, everything is definitely okay. 297 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:47,326 If you're in trouble, signify by using the duress code. 298 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,195 I am not under duress. 299 00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,396 Duress code received. 300 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,432 Initiating emergency response. 301 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,766 [ Beeping ] 302 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:57,370 Cancel emergency response. I am not under duress. 303 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,205 Copy on duress authentication code. 304 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,473 Moving ahead with response. 305 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:03,910 I am really, really, really not under duress. 306 00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:07,146 That's three "reallys." Duress level three. 307 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,415 Call the president. 308 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,651 Atkins, listen to me very closely. 309 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:14,187 I am not sending you the authentication code. 310 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,590 Or any other codes. Throw 'em all out the window. 311 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,125 Got it? All of 'em. 312 00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:22,061 Now, I'm the vice president, and everyone onboard 313 00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:24,964 is acting of their own volition and are totally safe. 314 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:28,434 So, stand down and don't contact me again. 315 00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,636 Roger that. 316 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,307 They've got Perry dead to rights in the cockpit, 317 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,409 and they're turning around heading back to Washington 318 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,778 to return the Louisiana Purchase. 319 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:42,048 He gave me the exact code word-for-word. 320 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,888 We have to shoot the plane out of the sky. 321 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,223 Sir, we can't. I know. I know. 322 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,525 It was just fun to think about for a second. 323 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,561 Get Scholls on the horn. And I mean now! 324 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,367 [ Horn blowing ] 325 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:04,971 ♪♪ 326 00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:11,811 I'm thinking of growing a beard. 327 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,614 Isn't there like a super-itchy phase? 328 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:15,848 [ Door opens ] 329 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,584 Drop your gun and let go of the plane. 330 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,019 [ Gun clatters ] 331 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:21,387 Did you really think you could -- 332 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,289 [ Gunshot ] 333 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:26,359 Some people just can't handle the cabin pressure. 334 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,693 Thanks, mom! 335 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:30,963 [ Gunshot ] [ Grunts ] 336 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:34,167 Always remember to put your mask on first. 337 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,202 Susan. Thank God. 338 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,671 [ Gunshot ] Ugh! 339 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:41,507 Nobody kills my mom and gets away with it. 340 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:45,611 It's okay, A.J. She just winged me. 341 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,014 Oh. Sorry, Susan. 342 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,949 Alarm voice: Altitude, altitude! 343 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,051 Ground approaching faster than I'd like. 344 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,453 For God Sakes! The plane's going down! 345 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:57,023 Get the real pilots back in here! 346 00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,024 Hang on a second! 347 00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,560 [ Gunshots ] Ugh! Ugh! 348 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,029 What are you saying? Are you insane?! 349 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,531 I surrender. You can have the purchase back. 350 00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:08,734 The deal is off! Just save my life! 351 00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,503 Think you can land this thing? 352 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,472 ♪♪ 353 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:16,209 You bet your ass I can. 354 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:19,212 [ Clanging ] 355 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:22,014 [ Police radio chatter ] 356 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:28,621 Sorry. 357 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,122 You tried your best. 358 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,891 Thanks. 359 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,093 Man, this thing was hot. 360 00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:35,228 Thank you. 361 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,562 [ Grunts ] 362 00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,698 Where's Perry? 363 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,934 [ Clank ] 364 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:45,404 Freeze, or I'll drop you like a sick beat. 365 00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:47,373 [ Siren wails ] 366 00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:49,542 [ "Hail to the Chief" playing ] 367 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,411 [ Tires squealing ] 368 00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:55,715 ♪♪ 369 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,351 Madame President. 370 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:02,622 Thank God. I caught the terrorists. 371 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:03,956 They tried to hijack my plane, 372 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,491 but I fought them off. 373 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:09,662 Oh, stick it up your ass, Joe. Everybody knows you're dirty. 374 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,831 Someone arrest this traitor. 375 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,633 With pleasure. 376 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,068 [ Cuffs jingle ] 377 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,471 Oh! Okay. What are you doing? 378 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,406 Nobody move, or the kid gets it. 379 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:21,874 You don't have the guts. 380 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,844 Actually, Tribeca, it's you that doesn't have the guts. 381 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,379 I've known it from the beginning. 382 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,181 Why do you think I sent you to prison for 20 years? 383 00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,117 I kept you on ice until your son was old enough 384 00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,753 to join the Special Division Force. 385 00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,522 You see, he's my insurance policy. 386 00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:37,857 I'm warning you, Joe. 387 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,926 You do this, and you can forget about 388 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,495 breaking the next tie in the Senate. 389 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,797 I'm afraid you don't know me as well as you think you do, 390 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,666 Mr. Vice President. Joe's fine. 391 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:50,236 See, I taught my kids that humans are rotten to the core, 392 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,039 and they only do what benefits them in the short term. 393 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,974 You think I'm any different? 394 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,009 Even you wouldn't shoot your own son, Tribeca. 395 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,911 [ Gunshot ] Ugh! 396 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,613 Mom, what have you done? 397 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:01,914 [ Groaning ] 398 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:06,085 Like I said, A.J. Don't trust anyone. 399 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:10,022 That is, anyone except me. 400 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,625 'Cause you're my baby boy. 401 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,062 ♪♪ 402 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:19,699 Wow. You aimed for dad's badge. 403 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,500 Uh-huh. 404 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,668 I love you, mom. 405 00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,837 I like you, too, kid. 406 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,874 [ Tires squeal ] 407 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:31,944 Everybody freeze, damn it! 408 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:35,948 If anybody moves a muscle, I swear I will -- 409 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,283 I told you were were gonna be late. 410 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,952 And I told you the drive-thru takes longer. 411 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,289 Atkins, once again, you served this country 412 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,157 with great distinction. 413 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,893 And Joe, I knew from the moment 414 00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:51,897 I chose you as my running mate that you were corrupt. 415 00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,266 I assigned Atkins here to tail you 416 00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:57,403 until you slipped up. 417 00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,505 You were on our side the whole time? 418 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,640 That's right, Tribeca. 419 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,211 I'll always be Lieutenant Atkins. 420 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,379 Atkins? 421 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,982 I hereby appoint you Secretary of Defense. 422 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:14,820 And Tribeca, how does vice president sound to you? 423 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,190 With all due respect, Madame President, 424 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,793 I've been doing a lot of thinking in the past 11 seconds, 425 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,928 and I think it might be time 426 00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:25,598 for me to ride off into the sunset. 427 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,899 The world is too different now, 428 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:31,737 and I just can't find my place in it. 429 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,305 I'll be vice president! 430 00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:35,274 You got it. 431 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,946 Wait! [ Grunts ] 432 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:42,715 Wait! She's got a bomb! 433 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:43,949 [ Guns cock ] 434 00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,751 Wait! No, she doesn't. She doesn't. 435 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,653 It's -- It's a backpack. Stand down. 436 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,522 Oh. 437 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,124 [ Grunts ] Did you tell them about the -- Yes. 438 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,660 Does she know about the -- Yes, we've covered everything. 439 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,228 Oh. 440 00:19:56,228 --> 00:20:00,232 Except what Tribeca's gonna do next. 441 00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:01,567 [ Sighs ] 442 00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,836 I just wanna be as far away 443 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:08,174 from rules and structure as I possibly can. 444 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,776 ♪♪ 445 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,845 [ Laughing ] 446 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:16,615 [ Indistinct conversations ] 447 00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:20,319 My name is Tribeca, and this is U.S. History. 448 00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,988 Tribeca! Get the hell in here! 449 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:25,691 [ Sighs ] Coming, Principal Atkins. 450 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,961 [ Laughter ] 451 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:42,741 ♪♪ 452 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:55,354 ♪♪