- [laughs]
I can't believe
you think Snuggle Squirrels One
is better than
Snuggle Squirrels Two.
- I just think
the snuggling is more believable
in the original.
- What about the third one?
The Empire Snuggles Back.
- I'm not discussing this
with any of you
until you read the books.
- No, no, no.
The worst zombie movie ever
is Zombabes.
- I know.
So lame.
Zombies aren't supposed to
go to beach parties...or surf.
[both groaning]
Give me the classic...
"Must eat brains!"
- Rwar!
- Raaaahhh!
- Oh.
Maybe we shouldn't be
talking about this stuff
in front of
- [whispers] Kids.
- [whispers] Yeah.
- Who, us?
Whaaaaat?
We watch scary movies
all the time.
What else would we watch...
Snuggle Squirrels?
- Pfft!
- Yeah.
- I'm a snuggle squirrel!
- Who are you to judge us?
- Then you must be
really excited for tonight.
- Sure.
Mom's meatloaf.
She adds paprika.
It's a winner.
- She's talking about
Field of Brains...
the scariest
classic zombie movie ever.
It's on TV tonight.
Uncut.
Unrated.
- And unbelievably scary!
[laughs]
- Mm.
- See you tonight.
- Uh...
Obviously, we're watching
Field of Brains tonight.
Duh!
- Guys.
You don't have to pretend.
We all know you're too young
for scary movies.
And by the way...
the snuggle squirrels
are adorable.
Like you guys.
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah.
She called me adorable.
Our, "will they, won't they?"
tension is electric.
- She called us too young.
That is the worst type of young.
- She's right, though.
We've never really seen
a scary movie.
- Well, that ends tonight.
We are watching Field of Brains.
- I will be up here
for one week,
living on nothing but grit...
determination...
and the sweat from my socks.
- All while promoting the
affordably-priced camping gear
here at Tom's Get Sporty.
[laughs]
- I'm not here to
move tents, Harper.
Grizz Coyote's no sellout.
[applause]
- Grizz is so rugged.
He can survive anything.
- I know.
I kinda hope a mountain lion
gets loose in the store,
just to see what happens.
- [laughs]
- Wow.
You guys are in a good mood.
- Sure are.
- So, now would be a good time
to ask you something?
- Anything you want.
- Can we watch
Field of Brains tonight?
Both: No way.
- What?
- You're not watching
a zombie movie.
- Why not?
- Because we've seen it.
In a world
where zombies eat farmers
and harvest their brains.
- Four kids
will not see that movie
because they are too young.
- You guys are so mean.
- We're not mean.
We're good parents.
There are
certain disturbing images
we don't want you exposed to.
- [spits]
- Kids, look.
Grizz is treating an open wound
with just
his toenails and phlegm.
- In a world...
where parents are
overprotective...
four kids watch
Field of Brains anyway.
- I wish we were those kids.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
[rhythmic clapping]
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na-na ♪
- ♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na ♪
♪ Na, na-na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- Excuse me, Mr. Coyote.
We have
a hypothetical question for you.
- Is it: Can a man walk
barefoot across Alaska?
Because yes.
I did that.
- Our question is about putting
two bears to bed so we could--
I don't know--
watch a movie or something.
- We talking polar?
Kodiak?
Panda?
- Mama.
About yay tall
with blonde hair.
- And a 6' papa bear
with a sort of
balding Jim Carrey look.
- Exotic species.
Do you have access to
any spears or grenades?
- No, we just want to
help them fall asleep.
- All right, since
you don't have any grenades...
I would recommend a relaxing
atmosphere and a filling meal.
Turkey.
Thick, heavy gravy.
Mac and cheese.
Maybe a pie.
- You've fed that stuff
to bears?
- No. But it puts my Uncle Jerry
to sleep every Thanksgiving.
And he's pretty hairy, so...
- Hey, guys.
What's up?
- You guys getting
grizzy with it?
- Yeah, we're gonna go home
and floss with our shoes.
- See ya.
- Hey, Grizz.
Camping sales are way up.
People love tough guys
like you and me.
- You and me?
Have you ever
throat-punched a giraffe
'cause he was
eating off your branch?
Have you ever let
an anaconda swallow you
so you'd have
a warm place to sleep?
- [clears throat]
See that scar?
I got that last year
living in the woods.
- In a luxury cabin in Aspen.
He punched a mini-fridge when
he realized there was no Wi-Fi.
- [laughs]
Okay, as I recall,
someone wouldn't eat s'mores
because the marshmallows
touched stick.
- Those sticks were
on the ground.
- They fell from a tree.
That's where sticks land.
- Please!
Civilians like you
could never live off the land.
You sell the survival lifestyle.
I live it.
You want to know what tough is?
You should read my man-oirs.
Which I wrote entirely
on the hide of a rhinoceros.
You know how hard it is to get
a rhino to hold still that long?
Now if you'll excuse me...
it's lunchtime.
- Is he right?
Have we gone soft?
- No, no, no.
We're still tough.
We don't need that book.
- Mr. And Mrs. Harper!
Your walk-no-mores have arrived.
- Yes!
Finally, getting the mail
won't be so exhausting.
[laughs]
- Okay, maybe we need to
read the book.
- Yeah.
Do you smell turkey?
- Yeah.
- Huh.
- Oh. Oh.
You know, according to Grizz...
that means either
an avalanche is coming...
- Okay.
- Or someone's cooking turkey.
- But it's meatloaf night.
- Kids!
Avalanche!
Oh.
False alarm.
It was turkey.
- Welcome, parents.
Please sit.
- What's going on in here?
- We made you dinner.
- But what about my meatloaf?
- We're shaking things up.
Tonight, we're having turkey
covered in a thick, heavy gravy.
- Followed by more turkey,
also with thick, heavy gravy.
- And for
your dining entertainment,
I'll be reading from
a thick, heavy book.
Doorknobs:
A Complete History.
- Are you guys trying to
put us to sleep?
[laughter]
- Chapter one.
- More thick, heavy gravy?
- Would you kids mind if we--
[yawns]
If we, uh...
- If you went to bed?
Not at all.
Good night.
- Love you.
- Sweet dreams.
- Have a great sleep.
- Don't let the bed bugs bite.
- Love you guys.
- Good night.
- It's zombie time.
All: Rwar!
- And now...
Field of Brains.
- I've been dreaming about
seeing this movie
for as long as I can remember.
- You mean since this morning?
- Yeah.
Like I said.
- Shh.
The movie's starting.
- "Based on actual events"?
Interesting.
Man: Family?
I've returned from farming.
Boy: Welcome home, Papa.
Did you harvest any corn today?
- Sure did, son.
Sure did.
- This isn't scary.
- Yeah, it's just a nice family
living on a farm
in the middle of nowhere
with no neighbors or police
for miles.
- I don't see how
this could go wrong.
Man: I'm gonna check
the basement
to see if the furnace
is still acting up.
[hinges creaking]
- Ooh.
Ooh!
Look at that doorknob.
That's a rare 1937 lock
and slide with Amish movement.
All: Shh!
- Whoo-hoo!
Sure is dark down here.
- [growling]
- Aah!
- It went so wrong so quickly!
- [stomach gurgles]
- Oh...
Tom, are you okay?
- Ah.
I think the kids'...
thick, heavy gravy...
might've hurt my stomach.
Grizz is right.
We have gone soft.
- What do you mean "we"?
My stomach is just fine.
[stomach gurgles]
Whoa.
Okay, that is not
a sign of softness.
That is the call of the wild.
- It sounds like
a call for help.
And a true survivalist
doesn't call for help.
We play through...
[stomach gurgles]
- Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Are you suggesting
that you are more of
a true survivalist than me?
- Well, I don't want to
toot my own horn, but...
Honk honk.
- Please!
I am definitely
more of a survivalist
than you.
Honk honk.
- I could live outside
for a week--honk.
- I could live outside
for a month--honk.
- I could live outside
right now.
No honk necessary.
Oh, yeah.
This is happening.
- Oh, what,
pillows and a blanket?
What, are you staying
at the Queen's house?
Give me the cold grass, baby.
- Grass?
Oh, your majesty!
I'll take the hard dirt.
- I hope it rains.
- I hope it snows!
- Honk!
Honk.
Ow!
Ah-ooga!
[screaming and snarling]
- Why are we still
watching this?
- I'm too scared
to turn it off.
- We have to keep watching.
It's what the big kids do.
[screaming continues]
Right, Nicky?
- The farmer has passed the
first stage of zombification.
Moaning and night walking.
The second stage is
the digging of holes.
- Please don't dig holes.
Please don't dig holes.
[digging]
[gasps]
- Okay.
He dug holes.
But at least he hasn't
planted any brains yet.
- Must plant brains.
All: No!
- Ugh, this ground is hard.
- You know,
while you complain,
I'm building
a bed out of nature.
- Oh, you think ripping off
your sleeves like Grizz
makes you a better survivalist?
That is pathetic.
- Huh.
See, I must have
left my sleeves...
over there.
- Oh, you want a muscle show?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, well get ready for
the grand prize 'cause...
it's a new shirt.
[saw buzzing]
[zombie growls]
- Aah! Aah!
[crunch]
Aah!
[snarling]
[saw buzzing]
[soft music plays]
- The credits.
The sweet, sweet credits.
- We did it.
We survived Field of Brains.
Pfft.
Too young.
We are not too young.
- Yeah.
We're not little kids
who run to our Mom and Dad.
- [growling]
- Wha--
Mom?
- Dad?
- Dad!
- Mom!
- Dad!
- Mom?
- Dad?
- Huh?
Uh--
- Mom?
- Dad?
- [groaning]
[growling]
- [growling]
- Mom?
- Dad?
- Zombies.
- [moaning]
All: Aah!
- Okay, everybody calm down.
Mom and Dad aren't zombies.
Zombies aren't real.
- She's right.
Field of brains was just
a movie.
- Based on actual events.
Right, Nicky?
Where's Nicky?
[stomach rumbles]
- Gah.
Ah, I think the gravy train's
leaving the station.
Ooh.
Oh.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Where are you going, nature boy?
According to Grizz's book,
bathrooms are for
daisy-sniffers.
- I hate the smell of daisies.
- Well, then start digging.
- Fine.
[stomach gurgling]
- Oh...oh...
- Don't look at me.
This hole is occupied.
Ah!
- They've got Nicky.
- Nobody has anybody.
Nicky is still upstairs.
- Yeah...
and if Mom and dad were really
zombie brain farmers,
wouldn't they be
digging holes right now?
[both growling and groaning]
They're digging holes.
- For our brains!
[groaning continues]
- Listen to me
if you want to live.
While you were
hiding under your pillows,
I saw it all.
I know what's coming.
- Where'd you get
the chalkboard?
- Not important.
According to Field of Brains,
Mom and Dad are not zombies yet.
- Did you buy the chalkboard?
- Forget the chalkboard.
Mom and Dad are just starting
zombification process.
If this is about
the chalkboard...
It's just like in the movie.
- Stage one...
moaning and night walking.
Stage two...
digging holes.
- They're already on
stage three.
- No, digging is stage two.
- Really?
That's a shovel?
- I thought he was trying
to wood-fire a pizza.
[distant growling, groaning]
- We don't have much time.
The next stage is
sensitivity to light.
Then...
the final stage.
They eat brains!
- What do we do?
- Well, according to
Professor Feldstein...
- There is an antidote.
But it must be administered
before stage four.
If not, they will become...
full...
blown...
zombies.
[voice echoes]
- Any questions?
I found the chalkboard
in the attic.
- Thank you!
- And a dirty sock.
- Ugh,
that antidote smells disgusting.
- Did you really think that
dirty socks, toilet water,
bellybutton lint, dead flies,
moldy cottage cheese,
dental floss gunk,
and a sprig of dill
was gonna smell good?
- I thought the dill would
jazz it up.
- How are we supposed to get
Mom and Dad to drink...
this?
- We don't.
We pour the antidote
into their shoes.
It has to enter
through their soles...
to save their souls.
- That's deep, bro-fessor.
- So, which one of you
brave men
wants to go downstairs
and put it in their shoes?
So, which one of you brave men
wants to take their fingernails
out of my back?
Boys: Sorry.
- Come on.
We gotta find their shoes.
- I don't see them.
- Uh, let's check the back
door.
- What if they come in?
- They won't,
as long as the lights are on.
[both groaning]
[electricity crackles]
- Oh.
Uh-oh.
That sounded like
something important.
Both: Oh!
- Definitely
something important.
- Aah!
- Well, at least it's just us.
- Huh.
We should probably go inside
and call the power company.
Anonymously.
- That's exactly
what Grizz would do.
- Yeah.
- Ah!
- Oh!
Stepped in a hole!
- Sprained my ankle.
- [lisping]
Bit my 'ongue!
- Ohh...uhh....
- Ohhhhhhh!
- Sprains.
- S'rains!
[both groaning]
- Sprains...
- S'rains...
- Ooh.
- What are they doing?
- I think
they're sitting down to eat.
- Oh, no.
They've reached stage four.
They're hungry for brains.
- [lisping]
My tongue is on fire!
- Stains!
- Oh, stains!
- Ugh!
- Quick--we have to get
the antidote in their shoes.
- Aah!
- Huh?
Huh?
- Uhh?
All: Aah!
- Hey!
Ehhhh....
- Nooooo!
- They got Ricky!
Should we save him?
Sorry, Ricky!
- Go, go, go.
[panting]
We lost Ricky.
- He's one of them now.
- I call his computer.
- We need to find Grizz.
He'll know what to do.
He can survive anything.
- Gah!
- Aah!
- He's not here.
[sloppy eating noise]
- What's that?
Grizz?
[rustling, lips smacking]
- Aah!
[all screaming]
- Aah!
- Grizz has turned, too!
- It's a zombie apocalypse.
- Aah!
- What?
- Nicky!
- I'm a goner.
- Dawn!
- Aah!
Aah!
Don't eat my brains.
Why aren't you eating my brains?
- Because I'm not a zombie.
- Me neither.
- Not blood.
Barbecue sauce.
- What about Grizz?
- Hey. Is that
takeout pizza and ribs?
- Hold on.
I can explain.
I was really hungry.
- So you're a fraud?
- What do you mean by fraud?
- You're a liar.
- Oh, then yes, I'm a fraud.
- Wow.
Can you believe this guy?
You must be
really upset with him right now.
We'll let you hash it out.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Wait, wait, wait.
Come back here.
- Hey!
- Look, we told you guys that
you couldn't watch that movie
because we knew it would get in
your heads.
- You're just not old enough
to see stuff like that.
All: Yeah.
- We're sorry
we watched Field of Brains.
- We're happy
you're not zombies.
- All right.
Bring it in. Come on.
There we go.
- Aw, hugs.
- Yeah, this feels right.
I'll call my Mom.
Have her pick me up.
- Okay, maybe we can all
go home and get some sleep
now that we know that there's
no such thing as zombies.
- Brains!
- Zombies are real!
Everybody panic!
[screaming]
- No, no, no.
Wait!
No, no, no.
Guys, guys.
[laughing]
I'm sorry.
We were just messing.
- What are you guys doing here?
- We came from
a Field of Brains party,
and I realized
I left my phone here.
- You look just like Abigail,
the butter-churning
farm maid zombie.
- You saw the movie?
- No big whoop.
Could have been scarier.
- Yeah, it takes more than that
to rattle us.
- They bought it.
They actually think
we're not zombies.
- I can't wait
till they fall asleep
so we can eat their brains.
[both growling]
[screaming]
Hey, lock up for us?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
[continue growling]
♪ ♪
[whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- [cheerful melody]
- ♪