- ♪ ♪
- What do you think, boy?
Best episode
of Celebrity Dog Houses ever?
[dog barks]
Yeah.
- And with the newly added
walk-in treat bin,
Beyonce's bichon, Bichonce,
is one lucky single lady.
- Well, if you like it,
you better put a leash on it.
[dog barks]
[sighs]
What do you say?
We're good boys.
We deserve a treat.
[spaghetti western music]
♪ ♪
- Hands off!
- You now hands off!
- That's not even real English!
[all scream]
- Wait, wait.
Good boy, go get it!
Mm.
And that, my furry friend,
is how it's done.
- [overlapping arguing]
- [sighs]
- We can't fight over the remote
every time we want to watch TV.
- He's right.
You should just let me have it.
- You all know your lies
are better when I'm in control.
- You mean when I'm in control.
- I'd like to be in control
for once.
- Please, leave this
to the big dogs.
- Yeah, and, Dicky,
why are you still in this?
You know Ricky or I
always end up with it.
- We wanna be big dogs.
- Yeah.
- Fine, the only fair way
to do this
is if we all let go
at the same time.
- Fine.
- Woof.
- Okay.
One, two, three.
- Ha!
You let go.
The remote is mine.
Well, well, well,
there's a new dog in the yard.
- Woof.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
[rhythmic clapping]
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na-na ♪
- ♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- ♪ ♪
- You guys cheated!
I'm not surprised about you.
You're the,
"I can't stand to lose" girl.
But, Dicky,
you're supposed to be
the cool, "I don't care" guy.
- Now I'm the cool,
"I got the remote" guy.
- Ooh, can I move up
to, "I don't care" guy?
- Real "I don't care" guys
don't care enough
to ask that question.
- That's not true.
I mean, whatevs.
- Face it, you're more like the,
"Guy we don't have to worry
about" guy.
- [chuckles]
Dicky, this was cute,
and props for tricking Ricky,
but I think we both know
how this is gonna end--
You wishing it never began,
so step down.
- Oh, I'll step down.
[grunts]
- Ow!
Oh, you want to dance?
Let's dance!
- Ow, ow.
- I'm not letting go.
- Neither am I.
[buzzer]
- You just deleted Dad's show!
I mean, whatevs.
- Celebrity Dog Houses!
That was the season fur-nale.
[gasps]
What have you done?
- I didn't do anything.
- Why is it
whenever I leave the room,
you kids fight over the remote?
- Because you don't like it
when we do it in front of you.
- And because they don't have
any remote skills.
- Please, I've got the skills
to pay the bills.
- [sighs]
There is only one person
who pays the bills around here,
and that is your mother.
Now, that's it.
No more television
for the whole weekend.
Both: What?
- Good parenting, Dad.
They deserve it.
- All of you.
Both: What?
- I don't want any fighting
this weekend.
Tomorrow is your mother
and my anniversary.
And this year,
you are not gonna ruin it.
- But we didn't ruin it
last year.
You did.
- Yeah, you're the one
who bought your lady
those snow tires.
- Well, this year
is gonna be perfect,
especially now that I don't
have to listen to you guys
argue about who's the best
at the remote,
which, by the way, is pointless
since we all know it's me.
You might want to film this.
Go. Stop.
- You didn't do anything.
- Check the footage, Spielberg,
in slo-mo.
All: Ooh.
- Well, at least we can still
watch TV on this all day.
- Looking for this?
Oh.
Oh, I look good on camera.
- [whistling melody]
- I know it's a day early,
but I really wanted to give you
your anniversary present.
Just three more feet.
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry.
I always forget
how big your feet are.
- [scoffs]
- Ow.
Ta-da!
You can look now.
- Yeah, but then I'll see
the rake or the box of yarn
or the gutters, and I'll have
to pretend like I love it.
[gasps]
I love it!
- There is no pleasing you.
- [laughs]
No, this time
I'm telling you the truth.
You got me a new bed!
- Wow, I finally did it?
- You really did.
- Ha!
Anne Harper,
meet the Slumbertron,
the most technologically
advanced sleep surface
on the planet.
It does everything.
It, uh, adjusts...
- [gasps]
- Heats...
- Ooh.
- Cools...
- Ahh.
- Massages.
- [laughs]
I love you.
- It also makes soothing sounds
and has a humidifier.
- Hon, thank you so much.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm awesome.
What'd you get me?
- Okay, well, I was gonna wait
'til tomorrow, but...
Here.
- It's a universal remote!
- Top of the line.
You are now the king
of this castle with the power
to control all of the electrical
appliances in the house.
Go ahead, say hello.
- Hello?
[angelic music]
- Hello, Thomas.
Ready to program.
Slumbertron programmed.
- She's so fast.
I am gonna take you downstairs
and introduce you to the TV.
Yes, I am.
- Tom, the whole
"talking to the remote"
thing is kinda weird.
I'll see you tonight,
Mattress McConaughey.
All right, all right,
all right.
- I wonder what's going on
in there right now.
- So many wonderful things.
- Thanks to you two cheaters,
the only thing I can see
is the reflection
of your cheating faces.
- I saw this movie once
where this kid
stared at the TV super hard,
and it finally came on.
Then his head exploded.
- I'll take that chance.
All: Me too.
[all grunt]
[all scream]
- Television programmed.
- What is that?
- Not what--who?
Dawn, Nicky, Ricky, Dicky,
meet Clicky.
She's like a fifth child to me,
except this one will actually do
what I say.
- It's your Dad's
new universal remote.
- When I'm finished
programming her,
she'll control everything
in the house.
- That's sick, Dad!
Show us
how she turns on the TV again.
- Oh, it's so easy.
You--hey, nice try.
You're still not allowed
to watch TV.
- Why not?
- They were fighting
over the remote,
so I banned TV
for the weekend.
- Why would you do that?
- I was parenting.
- Tom, our anniversary
is the one day a year
we get to sleep in.
Let them have the TV
just for tomorrow morning.
- But, if I go back
on a punishment,
isn't that bad parenting?
- [whispers]
- All right, you kids
can watch TV tomorrow morning.
All: Yes!
- But you have to share nicely
and quietly,
and under no circumstances
are you to disturb us
before 10:00 a.m.
- [whispers]
- [laughs]
11:00 a.m.
- We won't.
- Don't worry.
- Thank you.
- Promise.
- And if I have to come
down here and break up a fight,
whoever's responsible
will lose TV for a month.
[ominous music]
- She even has comedic timing.
- This is awesome.
- We're getting our lives back.
- All right, we've got
a second chance here.
So no fighting over the remote
and no waking up early
to try to steal it.
Can I trust you two this time?
- Absolutely.
- No fighting over the remote.
- ♪ ♪
- I'm getting the remote first!
- It's mine.
- You don't deserve the remote.
- You can't even rewind.
- You scroll too slowly.
- Your brain scrolls too slowly.
- Oh, hey, I think
it's in this pillow.
Take a look.
- Quiet down, you're gonna
wake up Mom and Dad.
- Where's the remote?
- We don't know!
- Dad must have forgot
to put it out.
- Great, we get the remote back
for the whole morning,
and now we can't even watch.
- Maybe the remote's
in Mom and Dad's room.
- I'm on it.
- Stop!
Stop, stop!
We're not supposed to bother
them under any circumstances.
- Don't worry.
They'll never know I'm there.
I'm like a super quiet ninja.
Wa-ta!
- I'm quieter than you!
- We gotta stop them.
- Or do we?
- You found it.
Hey, guys!
- Shh.
Let them wake up Mom and Dad.
- What are you doing?
This is so unlike you.
- Sometimes in order to win,
you have to do the opposite
of what people expect.
They think you're gonna zig,
you gotta zag.
- It just feels weird.
You're the "I always do
the right thing" guy.
- Did Dawn and Dicky
do the right thing
when they tricked us?
- No.
- And how about when they got
the TV taken away from us?
- No.
- So, when they wake up
Mom and Dad, they'll lose TV,
and you and I
will have control
over the remote
for a whole month!
- You're selling dreams,
and I'm buying.
♪ ♪
- [whispers] It's not here.
I don't see the remote anywhere.
- Me neither.
- [grunts]
[angelic music]
Both: Clicky.
- Don't touch it.
Clicky is mine.
- Stop!
- Ow! Let go.
- You hear that?
That's the sweet sound of Mom
and Dad about to punish
somebody.
- But not us.
- Ow. Come on.
Stop!
- Happy anniver...sary.
- Where's Mom and Dad?
- You didn't wake them up
and get in trouble?
- Nope.
- Yay.
- Is that Clicky?
- Yep, we couldn't find
the TV remote.
- Don't worry, I'll have
this baby back in Dad's hands
before he wakes up.
- G-guys, this is really bad.
- Nicky, scone check.
We don't want the bottoms
to brown.
What--what did I tell you
about zagging?
If they get caught with Clicky,
we could be
in control of the TV forever.
- That's a lot of TV.
- You are not Clicky-worthy.
- Please, you saw the way
she lit up when she saw me.
Both: What did you do?
- [chuckles]
It'll be fine.
It's just some juice.
[electricity crackles]
- Clicky: Television progr--
[voice distorts]
- And some yogurt.
- [laughs evilly]
- Okay, I think she's dry.
You ready?
- Hold on.
I'm good.
[muffled angelic noise]
- Is it working?
- Kinda, sorta, maybe.
Here, let's try it on the TV.
Please, please, please, please,
please, please, please,
please, please.
- Maybe you didn't
say "please" enough.
- That's weird.
I pressed the TV button,
but it made the lights
go on and off.
- Maybe the lights button
will make the TV come on.
[air blowing]
That's the air conditioning.
Give me that!
See?
Let a master do it.
[whirring]
- Way to go, master.
- Hey, if this were on TV,
you would go,
"Wow, I can't believe
this is on TV."
- Great, now it's not doing
anything.
- [groans]
Tom, did you turn
the bed heater on?
- I thought you did.
- Mm-mm.
[both shouting]
- Oh, my God.
- Aah!
- Clicky, what happened to you?
[both gasp]
- No, what?
[both screaming]
Tom, what's happening?
- The bed turned Clicky
into a sandwich,
and now it's trying
to turn us into one.
We're the meat
in a bed sandwich!
Happy anniversary.
- Oh, you too, sweetie.
Aah!
- Well, that's the humidifier.
Works great, huh?
- See?
Nothing.
- Anne: [groans]
- Maybe we need
to press harder.
[whales calling]
- What is that noise?
- Soothing whale sounds.
- Not soothing!
[drilling]
- Yo, Joey, I need
that steel over here.
- Why would they even put
those sounds in there?
[sounds stop]
[both sigh]
- Oh, thank goodness.
[both scream]
- Here we go again.
- We need the kids!
[both scream]
- Okay.
New plan.
Here's what we do.
We sneak Clicky back
into Dad's hands.
- Yeah, go on.
- That's it.
That's all we do.
- Oh.
- You sound disappointed.
- Well, it sounded like
there was gonna be more.
I mean, I could have come up
with that.
- But you didn't.
- You guys remotely closer
to getting that thing fixed?
Oh, I am on fuego today.
- Hold up there, lumpy butt.
- It's not me,
it's these blousy pants.
- You had this the whole time?
- What? I thought
I put that in the drawer.
I mean, not that I ever
had it to put in the drawer.
I mean, hey.
You found the remote.
Let's go watch stuff, yay!
- You hid the remote.
You wanted us to wake up
Mom and Dad.
- Quiet.
Do you hear that?
[distant screams]
It sounds like Mom and Dad
are calling for us.
- Maybe they need help.
- Please, we're not falling
for another one of your tricks.
- Why aren't they coming
to help us?
- We did tell them
not to disturb us.
- Why is this the first time
they actually do what we say?
- Honey, my foot itches.
- Hold on.
[groans]
- [sighs]
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Maybe Dad noticed
Clicky is gone.
- What are you doing?
- I'm going to tell them
we didn't break Clicky.
You know they're gonna believe
whoever gets there first.
- Wow.
Nice job tricking them
into going upstairs.
- I wasn't tricking them!
I'm freaking out!
You should be too.
- Me?
- What if they tell Mom and Dad
this was your fault?
- My fault--they're the ones
who broke Clicky.
- Yeah, but you hid
the TV remote
and started this whole thing!
- I just wanted to watch TV.
Wait!
Don't listen to them!
- Help.
- Please.
- Dad, Dicky broke Clicky.
- No, I didn't, she did.
- Well, he's holding it.
- Uh, no, I'm not.
- Well, now, he's throwing it.
Hey, what happened to the bed?
- Clicky's broken?
- Get us out of here.
We're stuck.
- But first, tell me
what happened to Clicky.
- No, first you will open
this bed.
- They're lying!
I don't know how the remote got
into my pocket.
Hey, what happened to the bed?
- Just open it!
[both sighing]
- What did you do
to poor Clicky?
- It's all Ricky's fault!
- You dropped it in yogurt.
- [shouts] Yogurt?
I warned you.
Ricky, Dicky, Dawn?
No TV for a whole month.
- Good parenting, Dad.
Did these rude children wake you
on your anniversary?
For shame.
- What are you talking about?
You knew about all this.
- Me?
I've been so hard at work
making breakfast.
I hardly paid any attention
to your childish arguing.
Scones?
- Thank you, Nicky.
It's nice to know that
at least one of our children
cares more about us
than about television.
- Well, after all you've given
me, it's the least I could do.
Oh.
I forgot to butter the scones.
- Hold up there, butter boy.
What are you up to?
- I'm starting to worry
about you.
- You should be worried.
You've all underestimated me
for too long.
And now the chickens
have come home to roost.
- When did we get chickens?
- There are no chickens.
But there is a rat.
- You never let me use the
remote, and now it's all mine.
- You were supposed to zig.
- But I zagged.
- Nicky,
I think those scones have been
buttered enough-- with lies.
You see, not only is Clicky
the child who listens to me,
she's also the one who tells me
the truth.
- Thank you.
- There's a logical explanation
for this.
It was all his plan!
He was the zag master.
- Seriously?
[overlapping arguing]
- Happy anniversary, honey.
- Yeah, yeah.
[arguing continues]
- We probably
should've just shared.
- Yep.
- Would have been better
than this.
- This is going to be
the longest month ever.
- This is gonna be
the best month ever.
[both sigh]
[beeping]
- Oh! No, no, no!
- No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
♪ ♪
[whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
- [cheerful melody]
- ♪