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- Your card is...
2
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The Six of Spades!
3
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[all groan]
4
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- It was the King of Hearts.
5
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- That's what I said.
6
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The King of Hearts.
7
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- Impossible!
8
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- Oh, stop.
9
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Thank you.
10
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- I know you're excited
11
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to see me.
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No applause necessary.
13
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- It's not for you.
14
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Tess, this is our sister, Dawn.
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Tess is new.
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- And wowsome.
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That's wow and awesome.
18
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I made it up.
19
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- Impossible.
20
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- Hi.
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I see you've met my brothers.
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I'll distract them,
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you run for your life.
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- Don't listen to her.
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We're funtastic.
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- You know what is else
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is funtastic?
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Dawn's shirt.
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Talk about wowsome.
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- My words are catching on.
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I should publish
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a Dicky-tionary.
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- Wow, the Harper quadruplets
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are officially
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the coolest kids ever!
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- Isn't she great?
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- Wait.
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What's this?
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- Inconceivable!
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- Five bucks
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for the candy machine.
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Hope everyone
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likes nutty fudge bombs.
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- She's perfect.
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- She's radcredible.
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- She's magic.
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- She's got to go.
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[upbeat music]
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ Hey! ♪
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[whistling melody]
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♪ ♪
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♪ One, two, three, four ♪
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00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:50,041
[whistling melody]
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪
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♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪
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- ♪ One, two ♪
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♪ One, two, three, four ♪
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- What are you talking about?
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Tess is perfect!
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- Too perfect.
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I'm telling you,
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there's something up
65
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with that girl.
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- You also told me
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when I was four
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that a little man lived
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in my butt
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and cut my poops with a saw.
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- [laughs]
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You were scared to go
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for like a month.
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- I swear I could hear
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him sawing!
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- This is different
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than Poop-Saw Man.
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She's fooling you guys.
79
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She's a total phony fake-face.
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- Ooh, I hate fake-faces!
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Who's a fake-face?
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Is it that new girl
83
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in the camping section?
84
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'Cause I'm always like, "Hi!"
85
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and she's always like--
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- Uh, that's a mannequin.
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- That explains
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why she doesn't talk.
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Or blink.
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And smells like plastic.
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- Well, you're wrong.
92
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Tess is not a fake-face.
93
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- Yes, she is.
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Trust me,
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my "chickstincts" are
96
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never wrong.
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- Our "dudestincts"
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are saying they are.
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- Hey, kiddos.
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- Mom, back me up here.
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We met this new girl at school
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and she's totally evil.
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- She's not evil.
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- I'm telling you,
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Tess is not what she seems.
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I mean,
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she likes all four of us.
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Nobody likes all four of us.
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- Your Dad and I like
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all four of you.
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- We do?
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Just yesterday you said--
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hey, look over there!
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It's something to look at!
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- Uh, Dad,
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we can see you.
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- Ah.
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That's because I am not hiding,
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I am looking for something
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I dropped earlier.
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- You know, sweetie,
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maybe you just
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need to give this Tess girl
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a chance.
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- Ah, found 'em!
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[chuckles]
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You know, Mom's right.
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You're just blowing
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this out of proportion.
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I mean, nobody is evil.
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- Hello, Thomas.
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- Evil!
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- Kids,
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this is Rod "Dinna-ma-tey."
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- It's pronounced "Dynamite."
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as in, "Rod is...
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Dynamite." boom.
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- Pleasure to meet--
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- [gibberish]
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Rod is my old nemesis.
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We used to compete
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against each other on the ice.
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And yes, I know
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my pants are down.
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- Cool, you guys played hockey?
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- Better.
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We were ice dancers.
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- Instead of sticks and pucks,
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we scored
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with sequins and pizzazz!
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- Before you kids were born,
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your father and I
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were one dance away from
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becoming national champions.
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- [chuckles]
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- It was a glorious time.
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Your mom was the best ice dancer
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in the world,
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and I had the best
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ice dancing hair in the world,
161
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but then it all changed...
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[cheers and applause]
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From the minute I met Rod,
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I knew there was something
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wrong with that dude.
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There is something wrong
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with that dude.
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[cheers and applause]
169
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Rod and Tiffany knew
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they couldn't beat us,
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for we were...
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The Dancing Harpers!
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[cheers and applause]
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♪ ♪
175
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We were about to unveil,
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for the first time ever,
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the incredibly dangerous
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"Lady-twirl."
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Now, normally,
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the man twirls the woman,
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but we were about to break
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the ice ceiling
183
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by having your mother twirl
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me.
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- Yes, yes.
186
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- We were lady-twirling our way
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to ice dancing history.
188
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Whee!
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00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,291
Until--
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- Yes! Ah!
191
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,542
- Oh!
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00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,542
- [whimpers]
193
00:06:00,583 --> 00:06:01,917
- Ahh!
194
00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:04,250
[grunts]
195
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[crowd gasps]
196
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Ahh! Ahh!
197
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Story over.
198
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Pants coming up.
199
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- You're a ch'liar.
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That's a cheater and a liar.
201
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- It's in the Dicky-tionary!
202
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:26,458
- Look it up!
203
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:26,458
- Hey, hey, hey.
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00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:26,458
There's no need to name-call.
205
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,625
The Harpers always
206
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,625
take the high road.
207
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:31,166
- Hi-dee-hi, Harpers!
208
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:33,041
- Ch'liar!
209
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:33,041
- Ahh!
210
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:36,875
All right, Dynamite.
211
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:36,875
What do you want?
212
00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:38,959
- Well, can't one ice dancer
213
00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:38,959
visit another ice dancer
214
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,500
just to say hi?
215
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,500
- No.
216
00:06:40,542 --> 00:06:43,000
- Well, then can one ice dancer
217
00:06:40,542 --> 00:06:43,000
let another ice dancer know
218
00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:45,083
that they're opening up
219
00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:45,083
their own sporting goods store
220
00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:48,083
down the street that's gonna
221
00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:48,083
put the second ice dancer
222
00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:51,166
out of business?
223
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:52,792
- All right, that you can do.
224
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:52,792
[chuckles]
225
00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:54,208
Wait, what?
226
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,709
- And boom goes the Dynamite.
227
00:06:59,917 --> 00:07:01,333
Tiffany?
228
00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:14,709
- Yeah, well,
229
00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:14,709
two can play at that game!
230
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,208
Anne!
231
00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:21,959
- It's--it's okay.
232
00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:21,959
I don't think he saw it.
233
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000
- Oh, I saw it,
234
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000
and I also saw these socks.
235
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,166
Rod likey.
236
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,166
Rod takey.
237
00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:30,166
- [grunts]
238
00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:31,667
That's it.
239
00:07:31,709 --> 00:07:34,333
He took my hair,
240
00:07:31,709 --> 00:07:34,333
he took my pride,
241
00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:36,709
he took those tube socks,
242
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:38,500
but he's not gonna take
243
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:38,500
my business.
244
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,250
- Now, who wants to help
245
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,250
mommy and Daddy
246
00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:42,458
obliterate
247
00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:42,458
the evil enemy?
248
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,208
You know,
249
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,208
in a high road kind of way.
250
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:45,625
All: I do!
251
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:48,333
- Anne, get me
252
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:48,333
my sellin' skates.
253
00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:50,375
It's time to put
254
00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:50,375
the competition on ice.
255
00:07:53,458 --> 00:07:55,750
[phone ringing]
256
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:59,709
- Speaking of evil, I'm getting
257
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:59,709
fake-timed by the fake-face.
258
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:02,333
Well, I can do
259
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:02,333
a fake-face too.
260
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:04,625
Hey, nutty fudge bomb!
261
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,417
- No, you're
262
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,417
the nutty fudge bomb!
263
00:08:06,458 --> 00:08:07,834
- No, you are!
264
00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:08,917
I hate her.
265
00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:11,959
What's up, buddy?
266
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,417
- Well, your brother said
267
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,417
you were struggling in Math,
268
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:15,875
so I thought I'd come over
269
00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:17,333
and help you study
270
00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:17,333
for tomorrow's test.
271
00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:19,291
I'll bring tacos!
272
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- Sounds great!
273
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,125
Bye!
274
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:24,625
Ugh, tacos?
275
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:24,625
Seriously?
276
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,083
- But you love tacos.
277
00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:29,041
- I know!
278
00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:29,041
She's evil.
279
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,083
- How'd the math test go?
280
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:41,083
- I got an A.
281
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:45,917
- Hey, "quadresties."
282
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:45,917
that's quadruplet besties.
283
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:49,542
- She's almost completely
284
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:49,542
fluent in Dicky.
285
00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:51,250
- So what are you guys
286
00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:51,250
doing after school?
287
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:52,792
- We're brainstorming ideas
288
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:55,625
to help boost sales
289
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:55,625
at our parents' store.
290
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:58,750
You know,
291
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:58,750
grown-up business stuff.
292
00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:00,500
- And then we're gonna
293
00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:00,500
ride bikes!
294
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:06,333
- Well, if you guys really
295
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:06,333
want to help boost business,
296
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:08,375
you should make
297
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:08,375
a commercial for the store.
298
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,083
- That's sweet, Tess,
299
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:14,166
but between the brainstorming
300
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:14,166
and the bike riding,
301
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:16,000
I don't think we have the
302
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:16,000
time.
303
00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:18,917
- Don't be silly.
304
00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:18,917
We can do it right now.
305
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,917
Okay, each of you tell me
306
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:24,834
why your Dad's store
307
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:24,834
is the best store ever.
308
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:27,250
- Shopping at Tom's Get Sporty
309
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:27,250
will show you why
310
00:09:27,291 --> 00:09:29,834
it stinks to shop
311
00:09:27,291 --> 00:09:29,834
at our competitors.
312
00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:32,333
- Lights, camera, love it!
313
00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:34,250
- You love that?
314
00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:34,250
Love this.
315
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:38,333
Get Sporty rocks!
316
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:41,125
All those other stores?
317
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:42,709
What a joke.
318
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,625
- Handsome and talented.
319
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:47,166
Nicky?
320
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:49,625
- Give me a second
321
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:49,625
to warm up the lips.
322
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:52,500
Box of biscuits.
323
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:52,500
Box of biscuits.
324
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:54,875
[shudders]
325
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:59,458
You've had the worst.
326
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:59,458
Now shop at the best!
327
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,125
- Goose bumps.
328
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,125
Dawn?
329
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:05,125
- No, I can't.
330
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:05,125
I'm sorry, I'm not buying it.
331
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,667
- Not buying what?
332
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:08,834
- I'm not buying any of it!
333
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,333
You're up to something and
334
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,333
I'm gonna find out what it is.
335
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:16,208
- Can I do another take
336
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:16,208
with my shirt off?
337
00:10:20,959 --> 00:10:22,458
- What is gonna
338
00:10:20,959 --> 00:10:22,458
draw in customers?
339
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:23,709
Think big!
340
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,375
- Ooh!
341
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,375
We could adopt
342
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,250
a family of monkeys
343
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,250
to work the cash registers.
344
00:10:28,291 --> 00:10:29,834
- Smaller.
345
00:10:29,875 --> 00:10:31,250
- Little monkeys?
346
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:35,000
- Mom! Dad!
347
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:35,000
Where are you?
348
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:36,709
- What's up?
349
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,417
- We found a way for you
350
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,417
the beat the Dynamites.
351
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:41,083
- Ugh!
352
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:41,083
"Dinna-ma-teys."
353
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:42,875
- By making a commercial
354
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:42,875
for our store.
355
00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:46,083
- Oh, a commercial.
356
00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:46,083
I'll book the monkeys.
357
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:49,834
Hey, uh, Carl, project...
358
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:49,834
[imitating chimp]
359
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:52,667
is a go.
360
00:10:52,709 --> 00:10:55,375
- No, Dad.
361
00:10:52,709 --> 00:10:55,375
We already shot the commercial.
362
00:10:55,417 --> 00:10:58,291
- Oh, yeah.
363
00:10:55,417 --> 00:10:58,291
Uh...
364
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,125
Sorry, Carl.
365
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,125
I know I promised
366
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,375
this would never happen again,
367
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,375
but it happened again.
368
00:11:02,417 --> 00:11:03,083
Carl?
369
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:05,792
- When did you guys
370
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:05,792
shoot a commercial?
371
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,875
- Today at school
372
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,875
with our friend, Tess.
373
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,250
Who is not evil.
374
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:11,208
- And doesn't want
375
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:11,208
anything from us.
376
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,792
- And is the best director
377
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,792
I've ever worked with.
378
00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:17,041
- Wow.
379
00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:19,583
Is it possible
380
00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:19,583
my chickstincts were wrong?
381
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:22,959
That Tess' face
382
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:22,959
really isn't fake?
383
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:26,750
- Oh, hi.
384
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:29,125
You caught me pulling up
385
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:29,125
my tube socks.
386
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:32,166
I'm ice dancing champion,
387
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:32,166
Rod Dynamite...
388
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,208
And welcome
389
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,208
to my new sporting goods store,
390
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:40,041
Get Sporty...
391
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:40,041
[voice echoing] Er! Er! Er!
392
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:43,750
- That place looks
393
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:43,750
just like our store!
394
00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:45,792
- Why Get Sporty
395
00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:45,792
when you Get Sporty-er?
396
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,500
[voice echoing]
397
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,500
Er! Er!
398
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:50,500
Don't believe me?
399
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:50,500
Then listen to my competitor's
400
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:50,500
own children.
401
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:53,959
- Tom's Get Sporty--
402
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:53,959
what a joke.
403
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,166
- Tom's Get Sporty--
404
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,166
stinks.
405
00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:00,458
- Box of biscuits.
406
00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:00,458
Box of biscuits.
407
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,166
- I guess that's what they sell
408
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,166
over at Tom's Get Sporty.
409
00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:06,917
And Dawn, what do you think
410
00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:06,917
about those overpriced items
411
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,500
at your Dad's store?
412
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:09,959
- I'm not buying any of it!
413
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:11,500
- And neither should you!
414
00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:13,583
So come on down
415
00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:13,583
to Get Sporty-er!
416
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:14,792
[voice echoing]
417
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:14,792
Er! Er!
418
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,417
- [growls]
419
00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:19,000
- Owned and operated
420
00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:19,000
by ice dancing champions,
421
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:21,542
Rod Dynamite...
422
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:21,542
- Tiffany Dynamite,
423
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:24,792
and our beautiful daughter...
424
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:24,792
- Tess Dynamite!
425
00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,917
- Yes!
426
00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,917
I was right!
427
00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:28,750
She's a total fake-face!
428
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:31,500
Whoo-hoo!
429
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:31,500
This is such a personal victory!
430
00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:37,125
And a huge loss for the
431
00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:37,125
family.
432
00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:45,625
- That's it.
433
00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:45,625
He crossed the line.
434
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:48,625
He used my kids
435
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:48,625
and my tube socks against me.
436
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,417
- Don't worry, Tom.
437
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,417
I know what to do.
438
00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:53,917
Now, where can I get my hands
439
00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:53,917
on some Dinna-ma-tey?
440
00:12:53,959 --> 00:12:56,083
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
441
00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:58,083
What happened to "Harpers always
442
00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:58,083
take the high road"?
443
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,208
- Oh, the high road
444
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,208
is closed for construction,
445
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,750
but the low road
446
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,750
is wide open, baby.
447
00:13:03,959 --> 00:13:05,750
- Maybe for them,
448
00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:08,417
but my chickstincts tell me
449
00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:08,417
that we're better than that,
450
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:11,125
and as you all know,
451
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:11,125
my chickstincts are never wrong.
452
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,959
Say it with me.
453
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,125
All: Dawn's chickstincts
454
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,125
are never wrong.
455
00:13:17,166 --> 00:13:18,500
- And that's my new ring tone.
456
00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:22,083
All: Dawn's chickstincts
457
00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:22,083
are never wrong.
458
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:23,959
- Ahh, it's the little things.
459
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,083
♪ ♪
460
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:29,375
- By the way...
461
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:31,041
[sniffs]
462
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:31,041
I know you're a mannequin.
463
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,375
Oh! Ha!
464
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,375
[babbling]
465
00:13:35,709 --> 00:13:38,500
- Oh, I finally got my monkey!
466
00:13:35,709 --> 00:13:38,500
[chuckles]
467
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:40,041
- [laughs]
468
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:45,375
- Ladies and gentlemen,
469
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:45,375
customers of all ages!
470
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:49,917
Introducing something you
471
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:49,917
won't find at the less-er store.
472
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:53,625
Get Sporty's new
473
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:53,625
in-store zip-line!
474
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,542
[cheers and applause]
475
00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,041
- Thank you, thank you.
476
00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,041
You're so kind.
477
00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:59,709
[chuckles]
478
00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:59,709
All right, here we go!
479
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,667
Ah! Ahh! Ahh!
480
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,917
Ahh! Oh!
481
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,917
- Oh!
482
00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:10,875
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
483
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:14,166
- Are you--oh!
484
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:14,166
- [whimpers like a chimp]
485
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:15,583
- It looks like
486
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:15,583
all they're doing over here
487
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,709
is monkey-ing around.
488
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:20,542
Now who's ready to do
489
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:20,542
some serious savings,
490
00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:23,458
down at Get Sporty-er?
491
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,417
[all chattering]
492
00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:28,792
- Dinna-ma-tey!
493
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,667
Whoa!
494
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,667
- Oh, Tom!
495
00:14:33,709 --> 00:14:35,333
- That's it.
496
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,208
It's low road time.
497
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:48,166
- This is the end
498
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:48,166
of the yellow brick Rod.
499
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:51,208
Shop away, my pretties!
500
00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:53,000
- Welcome!
501
00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:55,208
So how'd it go, Ice Man?
502
00:14:55,250 --> 00:15:00,709
- Like taking candy
503
00:14:55,250 --> 00:15:00,709
from a big, bald baby.
504
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:04,000
- I can't believe they actually
505
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:04,000
thought I was their friend.
506
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,333
Seriously?
507
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,000
Who could possibly like
508
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,000
all of them?
509
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:08,417
- Huh.
510
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:08,417
- Or any of them?
511
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:11,041
[laughter]
512
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:14,834
All: [sigh]
513
00:15:14,875 --> 00:15:16,166
- Oh, now what?
514
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:21,375
Dawn, I am so, so sorry.
515
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:24,417
- Don't "I'm so, so sorry" me,
516
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:24,417
fake-face.
517
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:26,166
You're gonna pay
518
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:26,166
for what you've done.
519
00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:31,792
Wow, this place looks
520
00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:31,792
exactly like my parents' store.
521
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:35,709
- Okay, I know
522
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:35,709
you won't believe me,
523
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:38,625
but my Dad stole my phone
524
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:38,625
to make his mean old commercial.
525
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,500
I had nothing to do with it.
526
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,500
- [scoffs]
527
00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:42,250
Give me a break.
528
00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:44,125
- Oh, can we please just
529
00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:44,125
sit down and talk about it?
530
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:48,583
- I don't want to sit down
531
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:48,583
and talk about-- you have
532
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:48,583
massage chairs?
533
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:51,250
- Dawn, your friendship
534
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:51,250
is super important.
535
00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:52,875
You have to believe me.
536
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,500
- Well, I don't believe--
537
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:57,834
y--
538
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:57,834
[humming]
539
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:59,750
Ooh-ahh.
540
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:02,792
No, you're lying.
541
00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:05,000
- I would never lie
542
00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:05,000
to my quadrestie.
543
00:16:05,041 --> 00:16:07,166
You're so stressed.
544
00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:16,417
- Well, I'm sorry,
545
00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:16,417
but I just can't--
546
00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:19,000
what is happening
547
00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:19,000
to my face?
548
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,667
- Well...
549
00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:27,000
- Well...
550
00:16:27,041 --> 00:16:29,625
- Goose.
551
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,291
- Guys, good news.
552
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:34,125
Turns out Tess
553
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:34,125
is completely innocent.
554
00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:35,291
Both: What?
555
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:38,083
- Ugh, out of polish.
556
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:38,083
B-r-b!
557
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:40,625
- Can't w-a-i-t!
558
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,083
- What happened
559
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,083
to your chickstincts?
560
00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:44,000
- Oh, they're working.
561
00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:45,500
Quaddle up.
562
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,625
I know she's not innocent.
563
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,875
I'm only here to dig up dirt
564
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,875
on Get Sporty-er
565
00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:54,917
so we can destroy them.
566
00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:54,917
- Oh.
567
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:57,291
- Fake-face thinks she can
568
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:57,291
fake her way to victory?
569
00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:59,083
Two can play at that game.
570
00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:02,083
- No, four can.
571
00:17:04,917 --> 00:17:07,667
[vibrating]
572
00:17:07,709 --> 00:17:09,500
- Oh, or three.
573
00:17:09,542 --> 00:17:11,291
You guys got this, right?
574
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:16,458
♪ ♪
575
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:20,375
- Oh, here you go.
576
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:20,375
How you feeling, honey?
577
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:21,917
- Horrible.
578
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:21,917
- Oh.
579
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:26,291
- First he took my hair,
580
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:26,291
now he took my smile.
581
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,583
He's a monster!
582
00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:31,417
- Mom! Dad!
583
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:33,333
We found a way
584
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:33,333
to beat out Get Sporty-er!
585
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:35,250
You know those recalled cans
586
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:35,250
of tennis balls
587
00:17:35,291 --> 00:17:36,583
you sent back to China
588
00:17:35,291 --> 00:17:36,583
last month?
589
00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:38,417
- The ones that explode
590
00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:38,417
at 100 degrees?
591
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,208
- Rod's selling them.
592
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:43,208
- So all we have to do is tell
593
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:43,208
everybody Rod sells dangerous
594
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:43,208
balls.
595
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,959
Then, they'll come back
596
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,959
to our store.
597
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,917
- Look kids, I appreciate it.
598
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:49,750
[all shudder]
599
00:17:49,792 --> 00:17:51,375
But it's over.
600
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:52,792
When you fight someone
601
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:52,792
who plays dirty,
602
00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:54,667
the only way to win
603
00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:54,667
is to not fight.
604
00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:58,583
- So tomorrow,
605
00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:58,583
after the dentist--
606
00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:00,500
We are going to the dentist.
607
00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:02,000
Then we're going
608
00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:02,000
to Get Sporty-er
609
00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:04,500
to tell Rod and Tiffany
610
00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:04,500
that they've won.
611
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,375
Then we can just
612
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,375
get on with our lives
613
00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:08,417
and no one else has to get hurt.
614
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:10,542
I've already lost
615
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:10,542
enough of your Dad.
616
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:12,250
I don't want us
617
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:12,250
to lose anymore.
618
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,375
- [wincing]
619
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,375
- Oh.
620
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:14,667
Ooh!
621
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:14,667
- Oh!
622
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,458
- I can't believe
623
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,458
they're just giving up.
624
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,667
- They might be, but we aren't.
625
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:32,166
- What a dump.
626
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,625
This store is horrible.
627
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:34,834
- It looks just like ours.
628
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:36,709
- It's horrible!
629
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,166
Sorry.
630
00:18:38,208 --> 00:18:39,500
Let's take the ice, hon.
631
00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:45,333
- Okay, you guys ready?
632
00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:45,333
All: Ready.
633
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,709
- Go.
634
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,417
- Now, I am humbled
635
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,417
to introduce,
636
00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,917
all the way
637
00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,917
from Washington, D.C.,
638
00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:02,917
Get Sporty-er's
639
00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:02,917
most powerful customer
640
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:04,709
and my close,
641
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:04,709
personal friend...
642
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:07,333
President Barack Obama.
643
00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:10,083
[cheers and applause]
644
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,500
- Boom.
645
00:19:11,542 --> 00:19:12,834
Look-alike.
646
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:16,583
Well, well.
647
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:18,542
Lookie here.
648
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:21,291
Keep the cameras on
649
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:21,291
for this one, boys.
650
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,709
It's gonna be a doozy.
651
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,625
- [clears throat]
652
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,625
Uh, Rod, Tiffany.
653
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,458
Uh, Mr. President.
654
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,583
Um...
655
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:34,208
Uh, we just came here today
656
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:34,208
to say...
657
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,583
- No, you can do it, go.
658
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,583
- Okay.
659
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:38,917
- You win.
660
00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:41,667
- Sorry, I couldn't hear
661
00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:41,667
that through the hair.
662
00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:43,291
- [sighs]
663
00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:43,291
You win!
664
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:44,875
[teeth dropping on the floor]
665
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:44,875
Both: [gasp]
666
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:49,625
Sweetie, I would appreciate
667
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:49,625
if you picked up my teeth.
668
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:52,208
- Of course.
669
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,417
Here.
670
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,417
- Thank you.
671
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:58,166
- Now, can we please just agree
672
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:58,166
that this town is big enough for
673
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:58,166
two sporting goods stores?
674
00:19:58,208 --> 00:19:59,583
- Deal?
675
00:19:59,625 --> 00:20:01,291
- Deal.
676
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,542
Ha!
677
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,542
- No!
678
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:05,083
Dynamites don't deal.
679
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:05,083
Tiff?
680
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,250
Ahh.
681
00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:13,083
- Dad, why's it getting
682
00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:13,083
so hot in here?
683
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,458
- It must be
684
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,458
from the scorching hot deals
685
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:19,583
here at Get Sporty-er!
686
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:19,583
Am I right?
687
00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:24,834
- Or because you guys
688
00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:24,834
just got burned.
689
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,500
- What's he doing
690
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,500
next to my thermostat?
691
00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:31,542
- Probably the same thing
692
00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:31,542
that he's doing.
693
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:34,375
And him.
694
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:40,125
And me, when I set that one
695
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:40,125
to 100 degrees.
696
00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:43,959
Get your cameras ready
697
00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:43,959
for this one, boys.
698
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:48,500
It'd gonna be even doozy-er.
699
00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:50,125
- No.
700
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:55,250
[tennis balls exploding]
701
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:55,250
[people screaming]
702
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:02,000
- I love you, kids!
703
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:07,250
[balls exploding]
704
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:07,250
[people screaming]
705
00:21:09,125 --> 00:21:10,709
- Cover me, fake Obama!
706
00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:18,917
- [screams]
707
00:21:18,959 --> 00:21:20,291
[all screaming]
708
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,291
Ew, your hair!
709
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,291
[screams]
710
00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:32,750
- [screams]
711
00:21:36,166 --> 00:21:38,417
- Ew, your face!
712
00:21:38,458 --> 00:21:40,792
- Oh!
713
00:21:38,458 --> 00:21:40,792
It's the heat!
714
00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:43,333
I'm melting!
715
00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:43,333
[sobs]
716
00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:48,125
- Now, that's a fake-face.
717
00:21:48,166 --> 00:21:50,083
- Oh!
718
00:21:48,166 --> 00:21:50,083
- [sizzle]
719
00:21:50,125 --> 00:21:52,125
- [laughs]
720
00:21:52,166 --> 00:21:53,375
- You win.
721
00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:54,709
- I'm--I'm sorry.
722
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,875
I couldn't hear you
723
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,875
over the glare.
724
00:21:55,917 --> 00:21:57,417
[laughs]
725
00:21:57,458 --> 00:21:59,166
Wow, you did not age well.
726
00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:03,375
Dancing Harpers.
727
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,750
[upbeat music]
728
00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:14,125
- ♪ ♪
729
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:18,250
[whistling melody]
730
00:22:18,291 --> 00:22:25,291
♪ ♪
731
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:30,166
- [vocalizing]
732
00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:31,208
♪ Yeah! ♪
733
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:35,291
[vocalizing]
734
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:36,083
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
735
00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:37,041
- ♪
736
00:22:38,041 --> 00:22:39,667
- ♪