[upbeat music]
- [whistling]
Breakfast is served.
- That's not the way Mom
does it.
- There's too much milk in mine.
- And not enough in mine.
- Mom usually puts fruit
in our cereal.
- [humming cheerfully]
Ba-zoo-wah!
Whoa.
There. Just like Mom.
all: Ugh.
- Speaking of Mom, when is she
coming back from Grandma's?
- Yeah, it's been weeks.
- I can't take it anymore.
- We're living like animals.
- Guys, I haven't even left yet.
But don't worry, I'm only going
to be gone for a few days.
- Why can't Grandma
just come here?
- No!
[dish clatters]
I mean, you already bought your
bus ticket.
[laughs]
- I'm just so bummed
I'm going to miss Assistant Week
at school.
You kids
are going to have so much fun
learning how the school works.
- Yeah, I got assigned
to Principal Tarian.
He's letting me do
all the P.A. announcements.
"Attention, cereal,
please report to Dawn's mouth."
- I get to assist Judy,
the cafeteria lady.
She gave me my own hairnet.
- [laughing]
- I'm assisting Mr. Ackerman,
my math teacher.
He's letting me teach class
all by myself on Friday.
- Oh, honey, that's great.
- I'm not nervous!
Why do you think I'm nervous?
[laughs nervously]
- Well, I've got
the coolest job of all.
Check out
my cool custodian keyring.
[keys jangle]
Ow! Ow!
[keys jangle again]
Ow!
- Okay, all right,
you know what,
I'm just going to help you out
with that.
[vehicle honks]
- You guys,
I'm going to miss you so much.
Okay, be good.
- We love you.
- I love you too.
- Good-bye, Mama.
all: Love you, Mom.
- Be back in a few days.
Ah, love you. Okay. Bye, guys.
- Bye.
- Bye Mom.
- Let me take a look
at this thing. Come on.
- I'm really gonna
miss you, Mom.
I wish I could go with you.
- Aw, I know, honey,
but while I'm gone,
I need somebody
to keep an eye on the boys.
- Okay, don't panic.
All right, panic!
- Please hurry back.
- Mm.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Na na na na na na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
[upbeat music]
- Ooh, uh, Dawn.
- See ya.
- I have a question.
- I'd lose the hairnet.
- No, it's a serious question.
- I am serious.
Lose the hairnet.
- The hairnet's staying.
- Sorry. Whatever you need,
just say it. I'm here for you.
- I have feelings for a girl.
- Could you excuse me
for one second?
[cringing]
Continue.
- How do I tell her I like her?
- Oh, I really wish
I wasn't hearing this...
because girls like mysteries
and secrets,
which is why you're going to be
her secret admirer.
Good talk. Gotta go.
- Wait, Dawn.
Like my hairnet,
this is not going away.
- Fine, write her a poem.
- About what?
- I don't know, like,
rhyme stuff,
like rainbows and kittens
and fuzzy mittens.
- Yeah, kittens!
That'll sweep her off her feet.
Next time you see me, I could be
asking for smooching advice.
[smooches, laughs]
- [cringes]
♪ ♪
Oh. Bear claws.
- Paws off my claws.
Sorry. But seriously,
don't touch 'em.
- Dawn, you're not going
to believe...
[sneezes]
What happened.
[sneezes]
- You caught
the world's cutest cold?
- No, I'm allergic to tulips.
- Oh.
- But that's not the news.
I have a secret admirer.
- Oh, that's a coincidence,
because--
- And he wrote me a poem.
- That's also a coincidence.
- He said I make him feel
like rainbows and kittens
all wrapped up in fuzzy mittens.
I don't know who he is,
but I can't wait to find out.
- Nurse Mae, I bumped my head.
- Aw, first your finger,
now your head.
Come on in.
Let's get you
out of that hairnet and put some
ice on it.
- Rainbows and kittens.
- What is happening?
I need a bear claw.
[door closes]
- Don't even think about it.
♪ ♪
- I'm dying to find out
who my secret admirer is.
- Trust me,
you don't want to know.
I mean...
[laughs]
Isn't the mystery the best part?
I know if it were me,
I'd never want to find out.
That way I could stay
this happy forever.
- I do like a mystery.
But, nah.
Mama wants to know.
- Of course you do.
Excuse me one sec.
Hey, Dad--
- One sec. Hot soup.
Here, take these to table two,
and remember,
give 'em the puppy dog eyes
and you'll get a better tip.
Off you go.
Okay, what do you need?
- Your advice.
See, Nicky like-likes Mae.
- What?
- Exactly!
And I foolishly told him
to become her secret admirer
because I didn't know
it was Mae,
and now Mae's all excited,
but if she finds out it's Nicky,
she'll get all weirded out
and reject him.
What do I do?
- Well--
- Do I say something?
Do I stay out of it?
You're right.
All I have to do
is keep Nicky away
from Mae long enough
that he'll forget his crush.
That way, nobody gets rejected,
and nobody gets hurt.
Great talk, Dad.
- Anytime, honey.
- Dawn, when I teach class,
I'm thinking of breaking the ice
with a joke.
How do you like this?
What's a bird's favorite type
of math?
Owl-gebra.
[both laugh]
- That's a hoot.
Gotta go.
- You don't feel warm.
- Are you sure?
Check again.
- Nicky, come with me quick.
- Why?
- Uh, you're good with cakes,
right?
- The best.
- Dad needs you
to change the urinal cakes
in the upstairs bathroom.
- A hero's work is never done.
[mouthing] All right, come on.
- Hey, Mae. Check this out.
Ouchie mama!
- Wow. You Harper boys
are so clumsy.
Here, I have a bandage
in my backpack.
- Ouchie go bye-bye.
- You have got to be kidding me!
♪ ♪
- ♪ Mangia, mangia,
lovin' the pizza, yay ♪
♪ Tom's doing-a fine
while Anne she is away ♪
- Dad.
I took your advice,
and it totally backfired.
Now Dicky has a crush
on Mae too.
And now if the truth comes out,
all three of them
are going to be disappointed.
- Well--
- You're right!
Who am I kidding?
The idea of Mae and either Nicky
or Dicky is just plain icky!
I'm the one
with the real problem here.
I should take action.
- Yeah, you know--
- You know, that's good!
It's not enough
to keep them apart.
I have to drive them apart.
Thanks for your advice, Dad.
You know there's a pizza
on the ceiling, right?
- Actually, there's--
there's three...
And a lasagna.
- Hey, Dawn, check it out.
[keychain rattles]
- You know you're doing it
the same, right?
- Yeah, but now
it doesn't hurt...
thanks to Mae.
- Oh, that Mae.
[laughs]
She sure is full
of good advice...
and cooties.
- I don't care
about her cooties.
I think...
I like her.
I mean, normally
when I see a girl, I think,
"Hey. All right."
But suddenly, with Mae,
I'm like, "Hey. All right."
What do I do?
- Okay, trust me. I know Mae.
And if you really want her
to like you,
don't tell her you like her.
Go the secret admirer route.
- Ooh, I always did want to wear
one of those hats
and command an entire navy.
- That's an admiral.
- Thank you. I think it's
a pretty good goal as well.
- That's admirable.
- I already said, "Thank you."
- Just don't tell anyone
you like Mae, especially Mae.
- Then how's she gonna know?
- Good question.
[gasps]
You're going to give her tulips
and give them
to her anonymously.
- Got it. One question--
- "Anonymously" means
you don't say who did it.
♪ ♪
- That's the last of them.
[pot clatters]
- Big news from Mae.
She loved your poem.
- She did?
[pots clatter]
That's great!
Oh, I can't wait
to tell her it was from me.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't tell her yet,
or anybody.
- Then what's my next move?
- Another poem, and I already
wrote it for you.
- Hm.
I don't know, Dawn.
You rhymed "full of cooties"
with "doggy doodies."
- Girls love doggy doodies.
♪ ♪
- Hey, Mae, I'm at your locker.
Where are you? Call me back.
I can't wait to see what's going
on with your secret admirer.
- Dawn--
- Secret Admiral.
They're a band.
- Don't care.
Listen.
Which pointer do you think
I should use
for my presentation?
The classic retractable?
Here, here, and here.
Or this modern, hip
laser pointer?
Yo, check it,
what up?
Both effective,
but in untrained hands,
either one could
poke an eye out.
- I'd go retractable.
Old school's the new school.
Happy pointing.
- Dawn, you're not going
to believe this.
My secret admirer gave me
the most ridiculous poem.
He rhymed "cooties"
with "doodies."
- Oh, Mae, I am so sorry.
- For what?
It was ridiculously funny.
[laughs]
- It was?
[laughs]
- He's sweet
and has a great sense of humor.
- He does?
- And...
he also gave me...
tulips!
[sneezes]
I don't care if I'm allergic.
How...
[sneezes] cute is this?
My secret admirer
is the perfect guy,
and I can't wait for him
to reveal himself.
I'll see you at your house
after school to study.
- I heard what Mae said.
So after school at the house,
I'm gonna reveal
I'm her secret admirer.
Thanks, Dawn.
- No, wait, you really
don't want to do...
- I heard what Mae said.
So after school
at the house,
I'm gonna reveal
I'm her secret admirer.
Thanks, Dawn.
- You really shouldn't--
I mean...
[sighs]
- I'm sorry!
It was an accident!
Thanks, Dawn.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [sneezes]
- Principal T.,
can I ask you a question?
- If it's gonna be
"Can I call you Principal T.?"
the answer is no.
- If you had a friend
coming over to your house,
and you knew if they showed up,
it would be a total disaster,
what would you do?
- Well, whenever I have
a problem,
I have a bear claw.
But you don't need fried dough
to solve your problems.
You just relax,
and I am sure
the solution will come to you.
- Ricky!
Attention, Ricky Harper,
please report
to the principal's office.
- Did you just call me
to the principal's office,
because I've never been called
to the principal's office.
This is where the bad kids
are called.
I'm not a bad kid.
I'm a good kid. There must be
some kind of mistake.
- Okay, stop talking.
- Is it the eye thing? Because
that kid walked right into it.
In fact, he bent my pointer,
so if anyone should be mad, it
should be me.
- It is not the eye thing.
- Oh, good,
because it was totally my fault.
- You're not in trouble.
Look, do you have feelings
for Mae?
- Of course not.
- Perfect.
Mae's having a really hard time
in math, and it would be great
if you could go over
to her house after school today
and help her study.
- Mae's not having a hard time
in math.
She's one
of my brightest students.
- Well, then, maybe she could
give you some feedback
on your lesson plan.
- Why? You don't think
I'm ready to teach class?
- I didn't say--
- Oh, my gosh, you're right!
What was I thinking?
I'm gonna make a fool of myself!
"Owl-gebra"?
Who's gonna laugh
at an owl joke?
Who? Who?
[hyperventilating]
- Breathe into this.
- Okay, Ricky, you'll be fine.
Just keep breathing.
- [breathing heavily]
- Ricky's really nervous
about his lesson plan.
Do you mind if he comes over
to your house after school
and practices?
- Are you guys talking about me?
[breathing heavily]
- Of course.
You and I
can study another time.
- Um...
Have you girls seen a brown bag
out here?
It had my lunch in it.
- No.
- Sounds like a problem
a bear claw could fix.
♪ ♪
- Perfect.
Oh, there you are.
Is Mae with you?
I just finished her cake.
- Yeah...about that.
She's...not coming.
- What?
- Yep, she's pretty unreliable.
If I were a guy,
that'd be enough for me
to not like her.
- Boy, that is a deal breaker...
for most guys.
But I ain't most guys.
Now hand me my cake carrier.
I'm taking this love show
on the road.
- Uh, no!
You don't want to do that.
- Of course I do.
The only thing
that would keep me away from Mae
is if she likes another guy.
- [snaps fingers]
Funny you should mention that.
Mae likes another guy.
- She does?
- Yup, one minute she's all
about her secret admirer,
next minute she's doodling
"Mrs. Mae Newguy...erson."
He just moved here from Sweden.
- This is terrible.
- Aww.
There'll be others.
- I heard voices.
Is Mae here?
- Yeah, about that.
I--I have some bad news.
Mae met another boy.
And he's Swedish.
- Yeah, well, he may be
sweet-ish,
but I'm sweet-er.
- It doesn't matter
how sweet you are.
She's met another guy.
I'm sorry.
It's over.
- Oh, okay.
Guess I'll just go back upstairs
and forget about her.
Or...
- What "or"?
There is no "or"!
- I could apply a fresh coat
of body spray
and go fight for her.
- Wait! No!
I don't really think...
- Dawn, I've decided
to fight for her.
- What?
No! Fighting is bad!
- Not when it's for my lady.
Oh, I'm gonna bring her
this cake and win her back.
- Uh--but not with that cake,
you're not.
It's totally smudged.
- Where?
- Uh...right over here.
I mean, right over here.
- [gasps]
- Better go back in and fix it.
- Hey, Dawn.
- What are you doing here?
I mean, hey,
what are you doing here?
- We couldn't stay at my house.
Ricky's allergic
to my cat, Debbie.
- [sighs]
Yeah, Debbie.
- You've got to be kidding me.
Can I have a word with you?
[laughs]
Excuse us.
[door slams]
I thought you told me
you didn't like Mae.
- I didn't, but now I do.
And it's all because
you made me go over there.
So thank you.
- Yay me.
[laughs]
What happened?
- I can't explain it.
I was nervous
about my presentation,
and then she said everything
was going to be okay,
and suddenly
everything was okay.
I mean, with most girls,
I'm like, "Oh, no."
But with Mae, I'm like,
"Oh, yes."
- Look, I didn't want
to have to tell you this,
but there's another boy.
He's Swedish,
and you don't stand a chance.
- Swedish!
I guess that's that.
- [sighs]
- Or...
- No!
- Yes, I'm going to--
- Fight for her--
yeah, yeah, I know!
- I gotta ask.
Am I coming in the house?
Am I not coming in the house?
- One second!
[door slams]
- Look, if you want Mae
to like you,
you've got to play it cool.
Don't tell her you like her.
In fact, don't tell anyone
you like her.
You know what, don't even speak.
- Got it. I mean...
- [snaps fingers]
Hey.
Glad you're here.
You know,
let's go grab some smoothies.
- I'm not in the mood.
- Soup, then.
- But Ricky said he's going to
help me with my math homework.
- You don't need help with math.
You're one
of his brightest students.
What you need is soup.
And you know what today's soup
of the day is?
What's your favorite soup?
- Alphabet?
- Bingo! Let's go.
- But, Dawn.
I have to go to the bathroom.
- Get Sporty has
fresh urinal cakes.
- But, Dawn,
you're not even wearing shoes.
- Okay, fine.
I didn't want to have
to tell you this,
but a certain special someone
left me a note saying he wanted
to meet you at Get Sporty
right now.
- Do you mean...
- Oh, yes.
That special guy is going to be
at Get Sporty any minute,
waiting for you with a hot bowl
of alphabet soup.
He said he'll "A-B-C you there."
- Really?
Let's go!
- Well, I certainly have no idea
what they were talking about.
- Me neither.
- I don't understand what's
going on most of the time.
- I need to go
to Get Sporty
without them knowing why.
- I need to go
to Get Sporty
without them knowing why.
- Alphabet soup?
Mae has fancy taste.
I must have her.
♪ ♪
- Dawn, you promised.
This is so disappointing.
- I'm sorry, Mae.
I really thought
there'd be alphabet soup.
- I'm not disappointed
about the soup.
Well, a little.
I just can't believe my secret
admirer didn't show up.
- Well, maybe he has cold feet.
I know I do...
- This isn't funny, Dawn.
I'm devastated.
This has ruined romance
for me...
and soup.
- Well, I'm sure
he's around here somewhere.
I'll go look for him right now.
Hey, Mae.
It's me, your secret admirer.
You are the coolest girl
in the world.
But my family is moving away.
If life was like
alphabet soup...
I'd put "U" and "I" together.
But it ain't.
So I-B-C-N...
U.
- Dawn, I know it's you.
- No, it ain't.
I'm a dude.
This is clearly a dude hat
and dude sunglasses.
- But that is not
dude nail polish.
- Too much pink?
- Dawn, please, any dum-dum
can tell it's you.
- Hey, fella!
Get your dang Swedish hands
off her.
- I stand corrected.
- Mae, I'm your secret admirer.
- No, you're not.
I'm her secret admirer.
- But wait.
I want to be her admirer.
We'll have no secrets.
- Back off, she's mine.
- No, she's mine!
[all yelling at once]
- Dawn, what's going on here?
- [sighs]
I'm sorry, Mae.
My brothers
started to like you--
- What? Me?
Them?
[all shouting at once]
- Why?
- I--I don't know,
but I didn't know what to do.
I didn't want you to be
disappointed
or them to get
their feelings hurt.
[all shouting at once]
- So the poems and the flowers
were from them?
[all shouting at once]
- [shudders]
- With some intentionally bad
advice from me.
I'm sorry, Mae. I should have
just told you the truth.
Forgive me?
- Of course I do.
But I don't know if they will.
- Mae is mine!
all: Mine first!
- I know.
[sighs]
My mom told me to keep
an eye on them, and I completely
messed it up.
- Don't worry.
Everything will be okay.
- Aw, that's what my Mom says.
[gasps]
That's what my Mom says!
Wait a minute.
- I was nervous
about my presentation,
and then she said everything
was going to be okay,
and suddenly,
everything was okay!
- Ouchie go bye-bye.
- Nurse Mae, I bumped my head.
[boys shouting]
- My box of chocolate!
- Not anymore!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
- This ends now!
- Guys, stop!
You don't like Mae.
You just miss Mom.
- We don't miss Mom.
- That's childish.
- What are we, babies?
- So what's for dinner, Mae?
Okay, I see it now.
both: Mm.
- Look, we might not like Mae
that way,
but I want to go on record
saying we don't miss our Mom.
- Hey, guys, who wants to talk
to Mom on video chat?
- [gasps]
I mean...
I don't want to, but...
she probably wants
to say hi to us.
- Yeah, bet she misses us
like crazy.
- She's so needy.
Ugh, cooties.
- Wait, so you told them
I had cooties?
- I... yeah, sorry.
- And they still liked me?
Mama's got game.
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪