[upbeat music]
[DJ over phone]
Next question: Besides the U.S.,
where else does superstar
Candace Parker play
professional basketball?
- Russia.
- Correct.
You're two questions away
from winning the grand prize:
lunch with Candace Parker.
I'm ready.
Hit me.
- How many brothers
does Candace have?
Three:
Anthony, Marcus, and LT.
Ba-boom!
[DJ]
Whoa, you really are a fan.
Super-fan.
Plus we have a lot in common.
I also have brothers,
and I'm pretty sure
Candace knows how annoying
they can be--
always butting in my business.
Hear that?
She said we're always
butting in her business.
How dare she?
[DJ]
Okay, Dawn, last question.
What is Candace's
favorite root vegetable?
Yes!
The answer is her--
[static over phone]
[DJ]
I'm sorry, you're breaking up.
Dicky!
Wait, are you guys on the phone?
Do you think she can hear us?
[Dawn over phone]
Hang up!
All right.
I got this one.
The answer is--
[dial tone, all gasp]
[all whispering]
Ah!
Hello?
Yam. The answer's yam!
[phone thuds]
[rumbling footsteps]
What have we done?
[rumbling footsteps]
How mad do you think
she'll be?
[rumbling footsteps]
- That mad.
[rumbling footsteps]
She's gonna scream at us like
she's never screamed before.
So far so good.
It's worse than I thought.
She's so mad,
she didn't scream at all.
That's her worst kind of mad.
Hey, looking good there,
kiddo.
Love that blouse.
Ah, making a healthy smoothie,
huh?
Good choices.
Ow.
That's a lot of carrot.
Look, we feel really bad we
messed up the contest for you.
So we'd like to say something
from the heart
that we don't say very often.
[all]
We're really sorry.
[blender whirring]
[all]
Sorry!
Hmm.
Perfect.
[blender whirring]
That does not taste
like forgiveness!
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Na na na na na-na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
♪ Oh, hey, oh, oh, oh ♪
- Anybody sleep last night?
I tried to with my eyes open,
but it turns out
that's just being awake.
As long as we stick together,
we have nothing to fear.
[dog barks]
[all]
Hiyah!
[whispers] Okay, Lou,
we're all set for this weekend.
Uh-huh.
It's a big surprise
for my family.
Great, great.
I'm very excited.
- Hi, honey.
- What surprise?
Are you planning
some sort of surprise?
[laughs]
No.
Why, you want to hear it?
'Cause I have got
to tell somebody.
No, as long as
I have known you,
you have never been able
to pull off a surprise.
But I just love sharing!
I know, but then you share,
you ruin the surprise,
you get mad at yourself,
and then nobody enjoys the thing
that was supposed to be fun.
You know what?
Thank you, Anne.
- You're right.
- See?
- Keep me strong.
- [grunts]
- Get this. I actually--
- [gasps]
Control yourself, man.
Secret-Strong, got it?
Guys, I think
we're just being paranoid.
I mean, Dawn might be mad,
but she's not gonna
sneak-attack us.
[all]
Hiyah!
Hiyah.
[chuckles]
Get this.
On Saturday at the store--
[Anne]
Secret-Strong!
Nicky's right about Dawn.
Let's just try to relax.
[doorbell chimes]
[all]
Hiyah!
We can't live like this.
We got to fix things with Dawn.
One of us should probably
answer the door first.
[squeak]
[all]
Hiyah!
Stop it.
- Sorry.
[all sigh]
[all whimper]
[all exhale]
- Hey, guys.
[all]
Hey, Mae.
I'm not allowed to talk to you,
so if Dawn asks,
that "Hey, guys"
was really a "Hey, guys!"
[squeak]
[all]
Hiyah!
And I'm gonna keep doing that
until they don't have any more
tears left in their eye holes!
That's six empty eye holes.
[knocking on door]
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's not
a knock-knock joke.
It's not
a knock-knock joke who?
[sighs]
We're just gonna come in.
Mae, since I am no longer
speaking to these life-ruiners,
perhaps you should describe
what I have planned for them.
No problem.
You're not safe here.
Just hear us out.
We thought, if you destroy
some of our favorite things...
And release
some of your terrifying anger...
It might make us even.
My space shuttle model.
This will be
its last mission.
My lucky wooden spoon.
It's whipped up
some of my best dishes.
And my most precious possession:
my hair.
You may take one inch,
no more.
Tell them I'm so mad,
I won't even touch
their belongings.
But Mae will.
I will?
Start with the hair.
Sorry.
[snip]
[gasps]
My baby!
So everybody feels better,
right?
Now the spoon.
Forgive me.
Woody!
Okay, so that
should about do it.
- Now the shuttle.
- But, Dawn--
The shuttle!
Tear ducts,
we have a problem.
[exhales]
Okay.
Ask her if we're good.
Are we good?
No, we're not good.
You can replace
all those things,
but you ruined my only chance
to meet Candace Parker,
and I'll never
get that back.
[whispers]
Sorry.
[Dawn]
Don't apologize, Mae!
[door closes]
Well, that didn't go
as planned.
We have to figure out a way
for her to meet Candace Parker.
It's the only way
she'll forgive us.
Good idea.
I'll find out
where she's staying.
And I'll work
a little Dicky magic
and get us an appointment.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dawn wants you
out of her room.
Dawn wants you out of her room
who?
[Dawn]
Get out!
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
We're really glad you gave us
a chance to make things right.
So I'm really going
to meet Candace?
Yes.
- Candace Parker?
- Yes.
Candace Parker
the basketball player,
not some other random person
whose name also happens to be
Candace Parker?
Would some random person
named Candace Parker
ride around in this?
That's a dumpster.
Oh. Sorry.
Wrong arm.
[gasps]
The Candace Cruiser?
Yep, Nicky and I
tracked it down,
and Dicky made an appointment
with Candace.
I did?
Why did you say "I did?"
instead of "I did"?
Well, I did make
an appointment
to fix my hair.
So you did nothing?
Are you not listening?
Look at me.
I'm back to perfect.
So Candace doesn't even know
we're here?
[scoffs]
Wow.
Why do you guys hate me?
Oh, it's because I'm taller,
isn't it?
Dawn, we don't hate you.
Look, we're here.
Let me just
smooth talk us in.
Yo, Candace!
I don't think she's in here.
But all her stuff is.
You should really
see this, Dawn.
You know, you guys don't respect
anyone's privacy.
First mine, now hers.
You know, we shouldn't even be
in here--
Oh, is that her jersey?
[camera shutter clicking]
Okay, I've taken a picture
with everything in here.
Now we can leave.
Hold on.
I think
you're forgetting something.
What?
Eh...
maybe a thank-you?
For what?
You know, eh...
I still didn't meet Candace.
Eh...
but you met her stuff.
Eh...
nice try.
Now let's go
before somebody comes.
[all scream]
Sorry I'm late, guys.
I'll be your driver,
J.D. McCoy.
Ah, that's right.
I heard you don't speak, uh,
very good English,
and I don't speak
a lick of Russian,
but in any language,
make yourselves at home!
Russian?
[Russian accent]
Uh, in any language, we go now.
Ah, yes.
We go now.
And don't worry,
I'll get you there safely
with the smoothest stops
and starts you've ever felt,
or my name isn't
J.D. McCoy.
Oh, no!
Where's the bus going?
[speaking Russian]
[all]
No!
[all]
Nyet!
♪ Oh, oh ♪
- Ooh, this is not good.
- Where do you think
J.D. McCoy's taking us?
I have no idea.
Well, he thinks we're Russian,
so he must be driving to Russia.
You can't drive
to Russia, Dicky.
I can't, but if anybody can,
it's J.D. McCoy.
Maybe we should look for clues
to find out
who J.D. McCoy thinks we are.
[all scream]
[Russian accent]
Who is driving bus?
Um, nobody.
I just pulled over.
About a mile back,
I realized that
something is not right with you.
- Uh-oh.
You guys are not
in costume.
- Costume?
Oh, that's right.
You no speak-y Engl-y.
You in here.
Arm-ski, arm-ski,
leg-ski, leg-ski,
zip-ski up-ski.
It's almost showtime.
[Russian accent]
Yeah, yeah, showtime.
What's showtime?
You know what,
we could've been off this bus,
but no.
You had to have a thank-you,
so you know what?
Here you go!
Thank you!
You're welcome!
I guess we should just
put these on
until we come up
with a plan.
[phone ringing]
Oh, no, it's Mom and Dad.
- Don't answer.
- Well, I have to.
Otherwise,
they'll think something's up.
Something is up.
But they can't know that.
We told them we were going
to Mae's house.
[sighs]
Hey, Dad.
We're just at Mae's
doing stuff with Mae
at Mae's.
Okay, well, we need you
to meet us at Get Sporty!
for the biggest surprise
of your life!
- They're all the same!
- No, they're not.
Shh!
Oh, honey, you must have pressed
video chat.
I'm staring
straight into your ear.
Can you pull the phone back
a bit?
[whispers]
She's gonna see we're on a bus.
Did you just say
you're on a bus?
Uh, no, I said,
"Mae's house is full of dust."
Why are you holding the phone
so close to your face?
Uh, Mae's mom doesn't want you
to see her dusty, dusty house.
Uh...
[high-pitched voice]
That's true, Anne.
You know how I like
to keep a clean house.
Uh...
[deep voice]
That's news to me, Evelyn.
It's nothing like my mother's
house, I'll tell you that.
Oh, you like it there
so much?
Why don't you go back there?
At least there
I get three hot meals.
Um, got to go.
See you at the store.
What the heck was that?
Sounds like
trouble in paradise.
We got to get off this bus.
Hey, I think
we're slowing down.
As soon as the bus stops,
we bolt out of those doors
and go to the store.
[brakes hiss]
Go, go, go!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[boys]
Candace Parker?
Whoa, you said my name
with no Russian accent.
[Russian accent]
Oh, they mean Candace Parker?
Sorry I'm late.
I'm so thrilled to finally be
meeting From Russia with Funk.
I love seeing you guys bring it
whenever I play in Russia.
[Russian accent]
Um, bring what exactly?
The funk, when you dance.
- [Russian accent] Of course.
- [Russian accent] The funk.
[Russian accent]
We bring it everywhere.
Well, since we're going to be
working together,
I should probably get to know
your names.
- Uh, Nickski.
- Rickski.
Uh, Dickski.
And Dawn...ski.
Well, since we're almost there,
I should get changed.
This is gonna be
the best workout video ever.
[Russian accent]
Nice to meet me, Candace Parker!
[normal voice]
Wait, wait, wait, workout video?
With funk?
We got to get off this bus.
Too late.
We're moving.
Wow, J.D. McCoy's starts
are smoother than his stops.
[whistling melody]
We're here, Anne.
Oh, you are doing great,
honey.
You haven't ruined
the surprise yet.
Stay Secret-Strong.
[both laugh]
Okay, here, wait.
Take my arm.
Okay.
[clears throat]
Whoa.
[laughs] Whoa.
Tom, when I'm blindfolded,
it feels like
you actually have muscles!
[gasps]
That's Lou's arm.
Who's Lou?
He's the guy
I'm working with
and the man
whose biceps you're fondling.
You can stop now.
Harper, it's almost go time.
You promised me
a flawless production,
and you better deliver.
Or?
Else.
[sighs]
Oh, no.
Else is the worst.
[upbeat music]
Okay, listen,
as soon as the bus stops,
we're going to make our move.
[all scream]
[Russian accent]
We are stopped?
Oh, yeah,
I told you,
J.D. McCoy would get you here
smooth-ski and safe-ski.
[Russian accent]
Yes, but where-ski exact-ski?
[slowly]
Colorado.
Go, go, go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You guys are in a hurry
to get started, huh?
We're shooting the video at
a place called Tom's Get Sporty!
You guys ever heard of it?
Yeah, me neither.
Anyways, I'll see you guys
in there.
♪
Oh, I wish
I could wait for the kids, but
here comes the surprise, Anne.
- Take them off. Take them off.
- Okay.
- Is that Candace Parker?
- Yep.
I convinced the director, Lou,
to shoot her workout video
here in the store.
Okay, not only
am I proud of you
for finally pulling off
a surprise,
but this one
is really good.
Dawn is gonna freak out!
I am freaking out.
They're shooting Candace's video
at Dad's store!
How funny is that?
You would've met Candace
anyway.
What a crazy little world.
This must be
Dad's big surprise.
The bigger surprise
is when he finds out
From Russia with Funk
is not from Russia
and does not have any funk
and is us.
Well, don't worry.
I got funk.
You got funk like
the real From Russia with Funk?
[hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
Dicky don't got funk
like that funk.
[sighs]
We can't ruin this video
for Mom, Dad, and Candace.
We just have to come clean
and tell them what happened.
Dad always appreciates
our honesty.
And that's how we ended up
on her bus.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
You know I always appreciate
your honesty.
[Lou]
Harper!
Now get out there and dance.
But, Dad,
we're not Russian dancers.
You want to tell him that?
What is this?
Chocolate sprinkles?
I asked
for rainbow jimmies.
You're fired.
[all]
Mom?
Sorry, kids,
but you see Lou.
He's just so big and...
muscular and--
We get it, Anne.
Hi, I'm Candace Parker.
Welcome to my workout,
where I combine basketball,
exercise, and hip-hop,
or as I like to call it,
Hip-Hoop.
No matter what language
you speak,
good health translates
to good life,
so here to help me
is my favorite dance crew,
From Russia with Funk.
So let's start off
with some basic moves.
Cut!
Oh, he is so loud.
What the heck was that?
You know what,
lose the basketballs.
Do what you guys do best.
I hope your hip
is better than your hoop.
[hip-hop music]
Dance already!
Ah, please dance!
♪ ♪
Cut!
Did you leave your funk
in Russia?
Nope, they left it
on the side of the road.
Who are you?
[all]
He's J.D. McCoy.
And J.D. McCoy always delivers
his passengers
smoothly and safely.
These kids are
the real From Russia with Funk.
Who are they?
They're from Boulder
and have no funk at all.
Well, no matter who they are,
I got them here
smoothly and safely.
And now I'll be on my way.
Destination unknown.
Actually, I'm just gonna go
wait in the bus.
Well, uh, why don't we
pick it up from the top?
I don't know what
you and your kids are up to,
but congratulations,
you're ruining Candace's video.
[sighs]
Dang it.
That's the last thing
I wanted to do.
I'm really, really sorry,
Candace.
Dawn, you don't have
to apologize.
It was our fault.
We ruined our sister's chance
of having lunch with you.
And she really deserved
to win.
She knows more about you
than anybody.
Well, then she knows
I have brothers,
and they ruined a lot of things
for me growing up.
See?
She gets us.
Okay, now that the real dancers
are here,
are we doing this shoot or not?
Pipe down, Lou.
Brothers, am I right?
Wait, he's your brother?
Little brother.
[laughs]
[coughs]
[mouths words]
And he's always butting in.
You know what
that's like, Dawn.
Tell me about it.
What do you say we take five
and go shoot some hoops?
But, Candace,
what about the video shoot?
I'm telling Mom.
Have you ever dunked?
Only cookies in milk.
Well, that was a win-win.
Dawn got to meet her hero,
and I actually pulled off
a surprise.
[laughs]
You stayed Secret-Strong.
Yeah, I'm gonna do
the same thing for your big
birthday surprise.
- Get this.
- Ooh.
- I got front-row seats--
- Oh.
This is way better
than cookies and milk.
♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪