[upbeat music]
[all]
One, two, three, go!
Keep your stick straight!
Stop throwing
at my face.
- Foul! You guys wiggle-woggled.
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
- Do you believe this, Anne?
- I know. That was clearly an
illegal wiggle-woggle.
- No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
- What are you kids doing?
[plungers pop]
We're trying to play
Toilet Stick Round Thingy Toss.
Yeah, well,
when your mother and I
invented Toilet Stick
Round Thingy Toss,
we intended
for it to be taken seriously.
I'm trying, Dad,
but Wiggle and Woggle over here
are making a mockery of the
sport.
You know, maybe it's time
we got these kids
some after-school activities.
Good parenting, Mom.
However, since chess club ended
and my Japanese language club
doesn't start
for another san shukan--
that's three weeks in Japanese--
I've decided
to take a well-deserved break.
And we're taking it
with him.
Well, you've got a week
to find something constructive
to do with your free time,
or your mother and I are gonna
find something for you.
Hey, you could always come
with me to my slow-cooker class.
This week, we are making
an Italian feast in one pot!
We're gonna pass on that
in one word--
no.
[horn plays]
I told you
Tuba Monster was real.
I have great news.
Ms. Bing asked me
to play tuba
in the school's
traveling orchestra.
We get to perform at a different
school every Saturday.
Can I get a boo-ya
for my tuba?
Traveling orchestra, wow.
When we said you kids
should get involved
in after-school activities,
we didn't mean all of them.
Yeah, sweetie,
don't you think
maybe you're spreading
yourself a little thin?
But I love playing the tuba,
and I'm getting pretty good
at it.
Plus, it makes the boys do this.
[loud horn note]
[laughs]
Dawn, you've got soccer
and your chores
and your homework and--
Look, I know
it sounds like a lot,
but at least give me a chance
to try.
I promise
I can totally do it all.
That's why everyone
calls me Do-it-all Dawn.
We don't call you that.
I thought we called her,
"Know-It-All Dawn."
Not to her face.
Okay, but if your grades
suffer at all,
you're gonna
have to drop something.
- Oh, thank you.
- Hold on.
It's bad enough you drag us
to Dawn's stupid soccer games.
Now we have to be dragged to
her even stupider tuba concerts?
- Come on.
- I mean, it's not fair.
H-h-h-hold on a sec.
We are Harpers, and we support
each other's stupid activities.
- Tom!
- What?
Oh, it's just
the way the kids talk.
It means fresh and cool.
Like, "Hey.
Stupid pants, Anne."
Trust me, I know this.
That's why they call me
Knows-the-way-the-kids-talk Tom.
I thought we called him
The Bald Eagle.
Not to his face.
[upbeat music]
♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na, hey! ♪
♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na ♪
[whistling melody]
♪ ♪
[rhythmic clapping]
♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Na na na na na-na ♪
♪ Na na na na na-na, hey! ♪
- ♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na na na na na-na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
[upbeat music]
[playing tuba]
♪ ♪
Hey, how's it going?
Aww, that's so sweet.
You guys came backstage
to check on me before I went on.
Yeah, totally.
On a completely unrelated note,
is there any food back here?
Gee, thanks
for the support, guys.
You're welcome.
But seriously,
where's the food?
There's no food.
Ricky's getting cranky!
At least when we get dragged
to your soccer games,
there's a snack shack.
Plus, all those free
orange slices and juice boxes.
Um, those are
for the players.
I'm a playa.
[loud tuba note]
[all] Ah!
- I hate that thing.
- Stupid tuba.
I'm still hungry.
So what kind of music
you think they're gonna play?
Not classical, right?
Probably some cool jazz
or some uptown funk?
Tom, it's the Edgewood
Classical Orchestra.
Pretty sure they're gonna
be playing classical music.
- Oh.
I know it's not your favorite,
but can't you just hold it
together for an hour for Dawn?
I can't hold it all, Anne.
That's the problem.
What?
When I was a toddler,
I was resistant
to potty training, and...
I was resistant
to potty training,
so my mother used
classical music to relax me, but
it worked too well.
Now every time I hear Bach,
Little Tommy has to tinkle.
But you're Big Tommy now.
You drove us here.
You're right.
I can control this.
- Yeah.
- I'm a grown man.
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Best of Bach.
[classical music]
[gasps]
Little Tommy has to tinkle!
[upbeat music]
You need a hand there, Dawn?
No, I'm good,
just trying to squeeze
a little practice in before
I have to do my homewor--
Oh, honey!
Are you okay?
[coughs]
Depends.
Is that my leg?
No, that's the mannequin's.
[Dawn sighs]
Hon, are you sure
you're not taking on too much?
- No. I'm good.
- Okay.
- I am Do-it-all Daw--
- Oh, oh!
- Look, I know
what you're thinking,
but I also
just started taking
a class called, "How to Fall
Completely on Purpose."
Nailed it.
[plays tuba]
Well, well, well,
if it isn't
the Saturday-Stealer.
The Weekend-Waster.
The girl who plays tuba
so we can't do what we want
because we're stuck
at her stupid recitals...er.
Guys, I feel really bad
that my recitals
are ruining your weekends.
So you're gonna quit?
Yes, I'm gonna quit.
Feeling bad.
Maybe you guys
should listen to Dad
and get your own activities so
you can ruin your own weekends,
'cause I love mine
and I'm not giving them up.
[loud tuba note]
[all] Ah!
[sighs]
I can't believe we have
to suffer through another one
of Dawn's snackless concerts.
[bell rings]
- Hey, kids.
Look what The Bald Eagle
dug out of the storage room
for the baseball display.
Caw-caw!
Hey, Bald Eagle
just gave me an idea.
What if we didn't have to suffer
through another concert?
What if we could convince him
to let us borrow
the hot dog cart this weekend?
That's brilliant.
Not only will we have food,
but we can sell hot dogs to
all those other starving people.
And Dad'll be happy because it's
an extracurricular activity.
Dicky, you're a genius.
Genius?
I just thought it would be fun
to ride around the parking lot.
But yeah, genius feels right.
[upbeat music]
The capital of Utah
is Salt Lake City.
The capital of Virginia
is Richmond.
The capital of Rhode Island is--
[whistle blows]
Harper!
What are you doing?
Sorry, Coach.
I was up late
practicing the tuba.
I have a big test tomorrow,
and I really need to study.
Oh, well,
why didn't you say so?
How about we take a break
from practice,
get some flash cards,
and the whole team can quiz you?
- Really?
- No!
[blows whistle]
Study on your own time.
Sorry, Coach!
Won't happen again!
I'm 100% focused on soccer
starting right now!
Okay.
Soccer. Soccer.
Socc-ramento is the capital
of California.
The capital
of New York is--ball!
[upbeat music]
Dawn, we are on
in two minutes.
- Time to put the notebook away.
- Okay. Just one sec. I didn't
get a chance to finish my
homework yesterday--
Just put it away.
Okay. Almost done.
Almost--
Oh!
[horn plays]
Well--
[bell ringing]
- Dogs! Get your hot dogs!
Doggy, doggy, doggy.
Who wants a hot doggy?
Can I get a regular dog, and
could you warm the bun, please?
No problem.
Lonely pooch
in a warm slipper!
Flying in hot.
You know,
I got to hand it to the boys.
They're really working hard back
there.
[raspy] Yeah, I'm glad
I let 'em use the cart.
Tom, this is silly.
Just drink some water.
No, I haven't had
any liquids in 24 hours.
[sighs]
They can play
all the Bach they want.
My river has run dry.
The Edgewood
Classical Orchestra
is proud to perform
Toccata in D Minor by Bach.
But first,
something by Mozart.
Oh, no.
What's wrong?
Bach, Bach lemonade,
around the corner,
Mozart's made.
[gasps]
[yelps]
[upbeat music]
[all]
Ooh.
And I thought investing my
hot dog money in savings bonds
was brilliant.
But this...
I mean, Nicky, bravo.
To Nicky, Ricky, Dicky,
& Dogs!
[all grunt]
Whoops.
I'll get that.
No need, my good man.
Allow my hot dog money
to take care of it.
Lucas.
I bought the freedom
to never do chores again.
Ah, Mr. D,
always with the messes.
Let me get that for you.
He doesn't just get my messes,
he gets me.
I think we need
to take a minute
to appreciate how lucky we are.
Agreed.
If it wasn't for Dawn
and her kooky tuba dreams,
we wouldn't have any of this.
To Dawn!
I got you, Mr. D.
[vacuum hums]
[upbeat music]
The capital of New Mexico
is Santa Fe.
The capital
of Colorado is...
[sighs]
Sleepytown.
What's wrong with Dawn?
Yeah. Everybody knows the
capital of Colorado is a C.
[dog barks]
- I'm Do-it-all Dawn!
What am I doing?
Maybe Mom and Dad were right.
Maybe I can't do it all.
I love the tuba,
but maybe I have to give it up.
If Dawn quits band,
our hot dog business is over.
No more hot dogs.
No more cotton candy.
No more Lucas.
Oh, that reminds me.
More, Lucas.
Got to get it in
while he's still here.
[upbeat music]
What am I gonna do?
Am I Do-it-all Dawn?
Am I not Do-it-all Dawn?
Okay, all clear, Tom.
She's not playing Mozart.
Mom, Dad...
Relax.
She's Do-it-all Dawn.
There's no way
she's really gonna quit.
- [sighs]
You were right.
I've got a lot on my plate,
and...
She's gonna quit!
It's impossible for me to--
Study on an empty stomach.
The only thing this girl doesn't
have on her plate is food.
Look how light she is.
What's happening?
See? She's delirious.
She doesn't even know
what's happening.
What are you doing?
Put me down.
[grunts]
Okay, I asked for that.
You can't quit band.
Why do you care if I quit?
What kind of message
does that send to all the girls
who look up to you
as a tuba-playing role model?
Yeah, you're Do-it-all Dawn.
What do you say?
Will you stick with band
and be an inspiration
to girls everywhere?
I don't get it.
I thought you guys were happy
to have your Saturdays back.
Oh, I get it now.
You don't want me to quit
'cause you'll have to give up
your stupid hot dog business.
Pfft. What?
That's crazy talk.
"Get a hot dog fridge,"
I said.
"No, I want a butler,"
you said.
Why did we even
have that meeting?
This isn't
about our hot dog business.
Yeah, we'd give up
that cart in a second
if it was
the right thing for you.
Look, I'm so tired right now,
I don't know what to believe.
But it doesn't matter anyway.
I physically
can't do it all.
Well, what if we helped you
do it all?
I can help you
with your homework.
And I can carry
your tuba.
[phone ringing]
Oh, and I'll answer all your
calls, so you can stay focused.
Lucas!
Phone.
Dicky Harper's sister's phone.
This is Lucas.
Wow, this could actually work,
unless they move my soccer game
to the exact same time
as my next band performance.
Uh, Ms. Do-it-all,
they just moved your soccer game
to the exact same time
as your next band performance.
What? No!
I have a big tuba solo that day.
How am I supposed to do it all
if it's all at the same time?
[Nicky grunts]
Maybe I should carry
your books instead.
I can't even see
where I'm going with this thing.
That's it!
I can hide behind Dawn's tuba
and pretend to play
while she's at her soccer game.
Then, we can cause a distraction
at the game.
She'll run over, play her solo,
and run back to the game
before anyone notices.
Nicky, you're a genius.
I thought I was a genius.
You know, you're a little
loosey-goosey with the G word.
This week's concert
is just across the park
from the soccer field.
Dawn, what do you think?
[snoring]
I got this, Mr. D.
He's the best butler
hot dog money can buy.
[upbeat music]
- Ugh.
- Come on.
- Almost there.
- [groans]
Almost there.
Wait for the bell.
I'm not gonna make it, Anne!
Is this
how old people dance?
[bell rings]
[both]
Ah!
[laughs]
- I made it!
- Yes!
- Made it!
- [laughs]
Do we want to know
what's happening here?
Oh, I'm trying
to recondition your father
not to give into the urge
to use the men's room
whenever he hears Bach.
So you're potty training
your husband?
Yes.
But aren't you afraid you're
just transferring Dad's trigger
from classical music
to the sound of bells?
Oh, sweetie,
I don't think it works that way.
Whew.
[bell rings]
[gasps]
[yelps]
What do you know?
It does work that way.
[upbeat music]
Cello. Violin.
One tuba.
Where's Dawn?
[high-pitched voice]
Right here, Ms. Bing.
Dawn, what are you doing?
Take your position.
Yes, Ms. Bing.
- That's not your position.
- Sorry.
You know how us girls are.
Always forgetting stuff.
[giggles]
[Lobo]
Nice save, Harper.
- Keep it up.
- Will do, Coach.
At least until Dicky can find
a way to delay the game.
Come on, Dicky.
[sprinklers turn on]
[children screaming]
- All right,
everyone off the field
until we can turn off
the sprinklers.
- And I messed
with the timer,
so that won't happen
for another 27 minutes.
I think we all know
who the real genius is.
Yes, we do.
[classical music]
Dawn, it's time for your solo.
Stand up.
[thinking]
Where is she?
[flat tuba note]
♪ ♪
There she is.
Okay.
Ricky needs a plan.
[Dawn]
Ow!
- Whoopsie.
Dropped some girly business
behind this curtain.
[playing tuba]
♪ ♪
[applause]
Nice job, Dawn.
I know, I rocked it,
not to toot my own horn.
But, just to be clear,
that was totally me tooting
my own horn the entire show.
Got to go.
Hey,
there's our little tuba star.
Oh!
[laughs]
You were so great, honey.
I know, I rocked it,
not to toot my own horn.
But, just to be clear,
that was totally me tooting
my own horn the entire show.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
where--
Hey!
We thought we'd celebrate.
Yeah. Whee!
Not for this big boy.
Honey, I am so sorry
that we doubted you.
Today, you proved
that you really can do it all.
And we can't wait to see
you do it all again tomorrow
at your soccer game.
- Right. Tomorrow.
- Yeah.
Unless it gets canceled.
Got to go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
Hey!
Not without a hug.
- Huh? Get in here.
- Huh? Aw.
Tuba hug.
Oh.
- Tuba.
- [grunting]
Oh, no.
She's in the parent trap.
She has to get back
to the game.
We have to do something.
I got it!
I'm a genius!
You know, Dicky's right.
I'm starting to think
you're the boy who cried genius.
- Tuba.
- Tuba, tuba, tuba, tuba, tuba.
- Tu--
- Okay. Okay, okay.
That's a good enough hug.
Good-bye!
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Right now is the perfect time
for a celebratory ice cream.
Yep.
[bell rings]
[gasps]
Got to go!
- Anne, why?
- It wasn't me, I swear!
Thanks so much.
Now I got to get back
to that game.
You only have four minutes.
Four minutes?
That's not enough time!
I'm never gonna make it.
[sighs]
Aw, forget it.
I really can't do it all.
There is one way.
We could take the cart.
But what about your business?
Look at all those customers.
But we don't love
selling hot dogs.
Not like you love
playing the tuba.
Or playing soccer.
Besides, we said we'd give up
our hot dog business
if it was
the right thing for you.
And that's what we're gonna do.
Aww, you guys.
I thought
that was a total lie.
Oh, it was.
100%.
But we mean it now.
Oh, and, uh, three minutes.
We'll get you there.
You just worry
about getting changed.
No problem.
Come on, let's go.
- Okay.
Thank you guys so much!
You're the best brothers ever!
- Rock!
- Got it.
[all grunt]
There's my game.
I think it's already started.
- Gopher hole!
- Going for the hole.
No, don't go for the hole!
It's a gopher hole!
That's what I said!
I'm so confused!
[rattling]
- Whoa!
Oof.
I did it!
I saved it!
I'm Do-it-all Dawn!
Oh, whoops.
Wrong game.
My team's over there.
Excuse me.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
and there will be a hot dog cart
coming here any moment,
so feel free to help yourself.
[bell rings]
- No brakes!
[upbeat music]
I'm sorry.
I should have listened
to you guys.
Ah, don't be so hard
on yourself, kiddo.
So you got benched for a game,
and you had to quit band.
I mean, nobody can do it all.
Even your mom,
who has a full-time job
and takes care of you four,
can't do everything.
Last night's lasagna,
for example.
Sorry.
It was a miss.
I love you so much.
[bell rings]
- [gasps]
- [groans]
[laughter]
Mom, you're a genius.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
- Doesn't mean anything.
- Totally hollow.
- Does it to everybody.
♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪