[upbeat music]
- I'm starving.
- Me too.
- There's food in the fridge.
- [groans]
All the way over there?
You go.
- No, you go.
- You go!
- No, you go!
- Go!
- Nobody has to go! We can just
reach the fridge from here using
the grabber.
- Good idea. Where's the
grabber?
[laughter]
[all straining]
- All the way over there?
You get it.
- No, you get it.
- Fine!
I'll get it.
[laughter]
[grabber clicks]
[scrunches]
Nope, won't reach.
- Hello, boys.
You're looking at the two girls
who're about to have...
the best summer ever.
- Us, too.
As soon as we get
a longer grabber.
- While you guys are sitting
around, wasting your summer,
Mae and I will be making money
from our fun, new jobs.
- At the only man-made
beach in Colorado!
- We're working at
the Boulderly Hills
Country Club
kids-only beach club.
- No way!
- The B.H.C.C. K.O.B.C?
- You bet your B.U.T.T.
And when we aren't working,
we get to use the wave pool,
beach volleyball courts,
get manis--
- Pedis--
both: Mani-pedis!
- Wow.
You guys are
real go-getters.
- Yeah. I've got a fun job
for you go-getters.
How about
you go get us some food?
- Happy to.
- [groans]
- You get it.
- No, you get it!
- We need the grabber.
- The go-getter
grabbed the grabber!
- Go get her!
- Grab her!
- [sighs]
- We need a go-getter
grabber grabber.
- I got this.
I grabbed it!
[laughter]
- Okay.
[clicks]
- [groans]
This thing is useless.
♪ ♪
[overlapping chatter]
- I can't believe
we're here.
- I know,
this is so exciting.
- All right,
let's get to work.
Mae, you're the hostess.
When people come in,
you greet 'em and seat 'em.
Dawn,
you're waiting tables.
So when people come in--
- I treat 'em and feed 'em?
- I do the rhymes here.
Okay, Dawn?
Now if you're able,
there's your first table.
And that's
how it's done, hon.
- Looks like I'm the hostess
with the most-ess.
- I do the rhymes!
- All right, Mae.
Our best summer ever
starts right now.
Welcome to the Boulderly Hills
Country Club!
How can I help--
You!
- Us.
- No!
boys: Yes!
- Our best summer ever
starts now!
Whoo!
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ One, two,
one-two-three-four! ♪
♪ ♪
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is supposed to be
my best summer ever!
- Well, we took a long, hard
look at ourselves, and realized
that sitting around in PJs
all day was just denying
the ladies all this.
- Yeah, who doesn't want
to see hunks in trunks?
- I do the rhyming!
- How did you guys
even get in here?
- [chuckles]
Turns out,
Trey's parents are members,
so he brought us.
- Look, I don't want
you no-getters
getting in the way of this...
[whispers]
go-getter.
- Why are you whispering?
- Because my boss
does the rhyming.
- My ears have never
been sharper, Harper.
- Dawn, you've got
nothing to worry about.
I mean, we're just here
to chill, get tan,
and eat lots of food.
- You know,
all the stuff you can't do
because you're working.
- Yeah, nice choice, Dawn.
- Speaking of working,
how about you grab us
some waters.
- Fine, that's easy enough.
- I want flat water.
- I want bubbles.
- I want a straw...
I'll make my own bubbles.
- Hi!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Say cheese!
- Wait, what are you guys
still doing here?
- We wanted to see our baby
at her first real job.
- Okay,
you've seen me, now go!
If you get caught around here,
I could get in trouble.
- Okay, shh, shh.
- Okay, one more for grandma.
- Yeah.
- Here we go.
- Okay, smile.
- Now, Uncle Larry.
- Smile!
- Okay, okay.
You need to go! Go!
- We love you so much!
- Before my first
real boss sees you!
- Dawn...
your table's complaining
that their "go-getter"
hasn't gotten them
their water yet.
- Got it.
I'm getting it.
- Good!
Because I don't have time
to babysit you.
The head of
the entertainment committee
is throwing a huge party
here tonight,
and it has to go perfectly,
or it's my head.
- Wow,
none of that rhymed.
- I know!
She makes me so nervous,
I can't even rhyme around her.
Here she comes!
- Okay, relax.
Let me talk to her,
I'm a people person.
- Hello, Tori.
both: Madison?
- Oh! You two
are members now?
- Oh, no, we work here.
- I know, I just wanted
to make you say it.
- [feigned laughter]
And they did!
- You know, I could
just stand here all day
and make you say things.
But...
I'm too busy
getting ready for
my best summer ever
kick-off party.
- If you two
mess this up for me,
I'm sticking you in the
basement to do the laundry.
Yes, I'm back!
Madison!
- Go-getter!
Where's our waters?
- And my straw?
Thank you.
- Ooh!
A luxury cabana!
[gasps]
Let's sneak in and see
what our lives would be like
if we didn't have four kids.
- Ooh, Momma never
lost her wild side.
- [laughs]
- There's a mini-fridge,
a TV, a daybed!
It's like a tent for
people who hate tents.
- Oh!
You must be the Mermans.
Oh, I thought
you called to cancel. I was just
about to open the cabana up to
somebody else.
- Well, now, we're not the--
- Oh, no, no, na! No, na!
No, no, no, no, no.
[chuckles]
No need.
We are the Mermans.
That is totally us.
- [nervous chuckles]
- Excellent!
I'll go get
your sushi platter.
- Mrs. Merman...
[growls]
- Well, thank you,
Mr. Merman.
[both chuckling]
- Momma's
a wild one, today.
- Yeah...
and Daddy's
drinking plant water.
- Here you go, one B.H.C.C.
B.L.T., extra B, easy T.
- This next jam goes out
to the pretty blonde girl.
- Doh!
- She knows who she is.
- Did you hear that?
I think
I'm the pretty blonde girl.
- You're definitely not
the graceful blonde girl.
- So, Trey, how does
the food ordering work here?
- You just tell them what you
want and when they bring it,
you sign for it.
Ooh! There's Mindy Gelzer.
It'd be a shame
if she got sunburned.
Looks like she needs
some SPF flirty.
[laughter]
- This menu
has so many choices.
- Ooh, the grass-fed
Kobe burger looks good.
- Hey, look!
They have fresh lobster!
- Nice!
I bet the lobster's
grass-fed, too.
- I'm getting both.
I mean, all you have to do
is sign for it.
- Miles,
what are you getting?
- I'm nauseous,
I got seasick
in the wave pool.
FYI: Do not go
in the wave pool.
- Well,
let's get to signing.
- Do you like clapping at me?
- It was fun.
- Yeah, well,
it wouldn't be
with broken hands!
So what do you want?
Soup of the day is
Chunky Clam.
- Oh,
please don't say chunky.
- We'll make this
easy for you.
We'll take one of everything.
- Fine.
- Oh, just make sure there's
plenty of drawn butter
for the lobster, and
the burger is medium-rare,
but leans
more rare than medium.
[laughter]
- And on the onion rings...
Hold the onions, just rings.
- And ranch on the side,
but only if
it's buttermilk ranch.
If not, blue cheese,
but not if it has herbs.
If it does, I'd rather have
non-buttermilk ranch.
- Oh, but if we go that way,
I want the onions
back in the rings.
- Are you guys
messing with me?
- No.
This is just how
the no-getter / go-getter
relationship works.
- And, uh, my water's
not bubbly enough.
- Uh, I'm gonna need
a new straw...
Thanks!
The service here
is pretty good.
♪ ♪
- Well, boys...
we've eaten
every item on the menu.
- What now?
- Should we hit
the wave pool?
- [groans]
- How about we just lie here
and get our tan on?
- Who wants some sunscreen?
Whoa!
- At least the ground
won't get burned.
- I'm really nailing this.
Whoa!
- [gasps]
It's raining shrimp!
- Hallelujah!
- It's raining shrimp!
- Who spilled
all the sunscreen?
boys: Uh...
- Why are you lying
in sunscreen?
- Uh...
- Getting a tan isn't
a part of the plan.
Dawn, I'm trying to be nice,
but you're on thin ice.
I am so in the zone!
- Please, please,
please don't send me
to the laundry room.
- Tori!
My assistant just quit,
and I'm about to throw a fit!
So find me someone new,
or you are through.
Oh, and FYI,
rhyming is my thing now.
- Yes!
Of course, I'll find you
a new assistant!
We've got a lot of
great people to choose from.
- Please, please, please
send me to the laundry room.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Look at the go-getter now.
- Huh!
Stuck working
for Madison.
- That's not even real pizza.
- Could this summer
get any better?
- Could my summer
get any worse?
- You know there's a big hole
on this end, right?
- Ugh!
This is so unfair!
I'm stuck here blowing up
a pizza raft for Madison
while my brothers
get to relax in the sun.
- Look at the bright side.
When we get off, we get
to play beach volleyball,
get mani-pedis--
- Get in the wave pool?
- Uh, maybe not that.
Apparently,
there was an incident.
Just don't let
Madison get you down.
- You know what?
You're right.
I can do this.
Madison is not the boss of me.
- That's the spirit!
Speaking of Madison,
she wanted me to tell you
she's the boss of you.
And you need to take these
to Cabana Seven,
and tell them the pre-party
entertainment starts in 15.
- But you just passed
Cabana Seven. Why didn't you
drop them off?
- I wanted to...
b-u-u-u-u-u-t,
Madison said you had to do it.
Oh, she also made me
say it that way.
She also said that if I didn't
say it that way, she'd fire me.
She also said that if
you screw up, she'd fire me, but
she's gonna make you do it,
then she's gonna fire you.
- You know what, just give me
the bags!
Hey, at least I don't have to
watch my family sleep-gnaw
shrimp.
[gnawing]
[laughter]
- Knock, knock! Just dropping
off a package for-- You!
[both mumbling]
We're the Mermans!
- What the heck
are you guys doing here?
- We were leaving,
but then there was a mix-up,
and then there was sushi,
and please don't tell on us!
- But you guys
are gonna get me fired!
- No, no, no, relax.
No one's gonna find out
we're not really the Mermans.
- Fine.
You want to be the Mermans?
Then be the Mermans.
Put these on!
The show starts in
ten minutes!
- Ooh, a show.
[laughter]
- Uh, Tom...
I think we are the show.
The Mermans are mermaids!
[laughter]
- Dawn, you don't really
expect us to dress up
in these ridiculous costumes
and put on some dumb show?
- No...
I expect you to dress up
in these ridiculous costumes and
put on an amazing show!
No sushi for you!
- Oh!
- Momma just had to be
wild, didn't she?
♪ ♪
- I like how the lantern
looks there...
- Oh, me too!
I couldn't think of
a better place to put it.
- But...
maybe it'll look better
down here on the table.
- And you just did!
[laughter]
- Go away.
- Already gone.
- Hm.
What do you think, Dawn?
- I think
it looks better down here.
- Perfect!
Then hang it back up there!
[laughter]
- Why did you even ask
for my opinion?
- So I know what not to do.
I'll go grab
the rest of them.
- Oh, no!
- Whoa!
- Oh.
Nice catch.
- Thanks.
- But I guess
you're used to
things droppin'
since you're always
droppin' a beat.
- [chuckles]
- [nervous laughter]
I'm gonna pretend
I didn't say that.
- I'm Dylan.
- I'm Dawn.
So was the song you played
earlier for me?
- Well...
it was for
a pretty blonde girl.
Here.
- Thank you.
Maybe my summer's
starting to look up.
- Dawn, help us!
- What happened to you guys?
- We fell asleep in the sun.
- You know, maybe
you should just go home.
- And say good-bye
to our best summer ever?
No way!
[boys groaning]
- Roasted fools.
- Ah.
- Boys!
- [shrieks]
- Wah!
- It's time
to close out your bill.
- [whimpers]
- I got this.
Where do we sign?
- Signing time is over.
Now, it's paying time.
- Well, how much do we owe?
- Let's see...
Miles had nothing.
I had an iced tea,
that's a buck fifty.
And you guys had one of
everything, so that's $320.
- We don't have any money!
- We're children!
- Trey, you never said,
"Pay later."
- You guys never said
you didn't have any money.
- Who doesn't have any money?
- Them.
- You know what?
We'll call our parents,
and I'm sure they'll be happy
to pay for this bill.
[groans]
- Are you sure you're not
wearing my wig, Tom?
- Nope.
This one feels right.
[phone ringing]
Uh-oh!
[phone rings]
Where's my phone?
[phone rings]
- [gasps]
Oh! It's in your tail!
[phone rings]
- What? Where?
Oh!
[groans]
[phone rings]
I can't get it.
My mer-skin is too tight.
[phone rings]
Oh, well.
I'm sure it wasn't important.
It's show time, Mrs. Merman!
- Okay, let's hurry and get
our tails out there!
Go fast!
- Something's fishy.
They're not answering.
- I'm sorry, guys.
It looks like we're not
gonna be able to pay our part of
the bill.
- Guys, I think I know
how to handle this.
Run!
- Ow!
- Oh, my God!
- It hurts!
- Ow!
- [whimpering]
- Ow!
- [shrills]
- Don't worry...
I have an idea of how
we can work this all out.
- [exhales]
- It's not working!
- Just keep your finger
on the hole!
- You know,
this really isn't so bad.
- Madison wants you
to scoop out
whatever's been floating
in the wave pool.
- Now, it's bad.
- Best summer ever.
- It's not working!
- Just keep your finger
on the hole!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Welcome to Madison's
Best Summer Ever Kick-Off Party!
- Welcome to Madison's
Best Summer Ever Kick-Off Party!
- Maybe if we hand out
all these leis,
Madison will let us
get out of here.
- Yeah!
- Welcome to Madison's
Best Summer Ever Kick-Off Party!
Let's get out of here!
- Good news!
I found more leis.
- Ahh.
[laughter]
- Hey, Dawn!
- Ooh, can we get
some of those?
- Mae, why aren't you
in your uniform?
- Uh,
the snack shack's closed,
and Trey said Miles could
bring me to the party.
But we promise we'll try to act
like we're having a bad time
whenever you look over.
- Oh, we've been practicing.
Watch.
- It's okay.
Just because it's not
my best summer ever,
doesn't mean
it can't be yours.
- So how about those leis?
- Right.
- Could you put them on us?
- Okay.
- And could you say
the welcome thing again?
- Or we could just come in!
- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
- So I was wondering
if maybe you wanted to hang
after the party?
- Yeah!
- Sounds good!
- I'm down!
- Not. You.
boys: Ah!
- That'd be great.
boys: Ooh!
boys: Ahh!
- Sunburn! Sunburn!
- So, um...
can I get your phone number?
boys: Ooh!
Do you mind
typing in your number?
I don't use
my D-D-DJ hands.
- He has a special DJ hand?
- That's cool!
- I wish I had a special hand
for something.
[gasps]
From now on,
this is my pudding hand!
Nope.
It's my mayonnaise hand.
- Later when I dedicate
a song to a special someone,
you'll know who
I'm talking about.
boys: Ooh!
boys: Ow!
- Assistant!
We have an emergency!
I need someone to replace
the boring rubber bands
on the lobster claws
with these official
Best Summer Ever
Kick-Off Party rubber bands.
- They'll do it!
boys: She'll do it!
- All four of you
are gonna do it.
Now, go do it!
Wow,
this rhyming thing is fun.
- Technically, since you rhymed
"do it" with "do it,"
it wasn't actually a--
never mind, carry on,
your rhyme-ness.
- ♪ To answer the question
we get asked most often ♪
- ♪ Our top half is human ♪
- ♪ Our bottom half is dolphin ♪
both:
♪ Getting fishy with it ♪
♪ La, la, la-la ♪
♪ Getting fishy with it ♪
♪ La, la, la-la ♪
♪ Getting fishy with it ♪
♪ La, la, la-la ♪
♪ Getting fishy with it ♪
- So embarrassing.
- Says the guy who just ate
a handful of mayonnaise.
- Okay, got all the old
rubber bands off.
Now we just need to get
the new ones on.
- Oh, ooh!
Wait,
why didn't we think
to put
the new rubbers bands on
before taking
the old rubber bands off?
- [whispers]
Because we're children.
- You know what?
It seems like
you have this under control.
- Yeah...
- Fine.
Do you have brothers?
- Guys, check it out.
- Do we tell her?
- We have to.
- Dawn!
You need to see this.
- Not now!
- No! Now!
- [sighs]
What?
Wait, what's going on?
- They're holding hands.
- Yeah, I can see
what's going on,
but I want to know
what's going on.
- So are we still gonna
hang after the party?
- I don't know if I can.
But...
when I dedicate a song
to a special someone,
you'll know who
I'm talking about.
[both giggle]
- That's what he said to me.
- We're sorry, Dawn.
- We've been total jerks
to you today.
And now you've gotta go through
a horrible heartbreak.
- Yeah! That jerk doesn't
get to ruin your summer.
We're the jerks who get
to ruin your summer.
- Look, I agree
you've been jerks.
Big jerks.
Huge jerks.
But don't worry, jerks,
I'm not heartbroken.
- What?
- You're not?
- Why not?
- Look, I mean,
he's cute and all,
but I just met him today.
And that whole D-D-DJ hand
thing is kinda lame.
- But a mayonnaise hand
is cool, right?
both: No!
- Anyway,
he's not playing me.
He's playing her.
You know what?
Even though Madison's
been nasty to me,
I understand the idea of
wanting the best summer ever.
She shouldn't
have her chance of that
being ruined by a lying jerk.
Look, Madison,
I know I may be
risking my job here...
b-u-u-u-u-u-t...
I need to tell you something.
- Okay, buts are my thing.
[clears throat]
B-u-u-u-u-u-t... go on.
- Okay.
- Hey, Dawn,
I got your text.
What'd you wanna
talk to me about?
- Oh, I just wanted to make sure
we're still hanging out later.
- You know it.
- So is that why you can't
hang out with me later?
- Madison?
- You've been playing me.
- No, I haven't, I--
- Oh, yes, you have, and the
player's about to get played.
- Not so fast, D-D-DJ!
- Uh, who--
who are you?
- Girlfriend backup.
So back up.
- Girls, girls...
Look, you can't blame me. I'm
just trying to have the best
summer eve--
- Oh!
- Ooh!
Whaaa!
- Didn't expect that!
- Ow! Owww!
My D-D-DJ hand!
[whimpering]
- Check it out, everybody.
The DJ invented a new dance.
- Come on!
Let's have some fun!
- Hey!
Thanks for looking out for me.
Why'd you do that?
- Oh, well, just seemed like
the right thing to do.
- Well, thanks.
But...
this doesn't make us friends.
- Oh, no.
Definitely not.
- Good.
Last words are my thing.
- [mockingly] Good.
- Heard that.
- Oh!
- Don't worry,
I won't tell anybody.
Come on, let's go
do the lobster!
[playing The B52's
"Rock Lobster" instrumental]
♪ ♪
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪