- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la ♪
- Hey, Dad?
Remember how mad you were
when the dog groomers next door
dumped all their old dog hair
in our dumpster?
- Those hair-dumping
Montagellis.
- And remember how
when they went on vacation
we got revenge by shoving
tuna salad in their mail slot?
- Those tuna-salad-stinking
Montagellis.
- And remember how you said
you'd flip out
if the Montagellis
ever came in here again?
[eerie suspenseful music]
- Those come-in-here-again
Montagellis!
Ah!
- He did say he'd flip out.
- He's a man of his word.
- Anne!
The Montagellis are here!
- I knew it was Monta-smelly
in here.
- What're you doing here,
Monta-smellies?
- Yeah, you know the rules.
We're banned from the groomers,
and you're banned
from Get Sporty.
- Look, we're only here
because my dad wanted
to make sure
you guys got a package
the mailman accidentally left
with us.
- Oh, well, thank you.
[glass shatters]
Ah!
- Mom, didn't the mailman
leave a package here
for the Montagellis?
- Yes, he did.
Thank you for reminding me.
[glass shatters]
- Ah!
- We loathe you, Harpers!
- We loathe you, Montagellis!
- Maybe you guys should loathe
the mailman.
He's clearly not very good
at his job.
- Beat it, Monta-smellies.
- Don't worry.
No Montagelli would ever be
anywhere near a Har-pooper.
So when do you think we can tell
our families about each other?
- Oh, you know, never.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na, na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- Hey, do you guys wanna go
door-to-door asking for money?
- I'm in.
- Yep.
I like money.
- You don't get to keep it.
- I'm out.
- Nope.
- Always a catch.
- Come on.
Our Nature Club is raising money
for Charity.
She's an injured,
flightless goose
living in the alley
behind Get Sporty.
- So your charity is
for Charity?
- A little on the nose,
don't you think?
- The money we raise
will help ship the goose
back to her gaggle in Canada.
- Yeah, how have you guys
not heard about this?
It's a huge story
all over the Internet.
- Um, maybe because we don't
care about some dumb bird.
- Get that bird!
[doorbell rings]
[electronic game sounds]
all: Hey!
[romantic music]
♪ ♪
[together] Hello.
- These are my friends
from Nature Club.
Faith, Hope, and Susan.
- So you guys are gonna help us
raise money for Charity?
- That poor, flightless bird
living in the alley
behind Get Sporty?
- Of course we're going
to help you.
- Yeah, it's a huge story.
It's all over the Internet.
- Come on, girls.
Help me set up
these collection boxes.
- You guys don't care
about Charity.
- [gasps]
- How dare you, Dawn.
We love that duck.
- Duck?
- Goose.
- both: Right.
- You just wanna impress
those girls.
- "Impress" those girls?
Please.
I know how we can impress
those girls.
You know, instead of begging
for money door-to-door,
why don't we do
something classier?
Like begging for money online.
- Ah, good one.
- I guess there are
some websites
where you could post videos
to raise money for a charity.
- Oh, we could make a funny
comedy video with the goose
to ask for money.
- That could work.
- Totally could.
- Oh please.
There's nothing worse than guys
trying to be funny online.
- Yeah.
- Of course.
- Yeah, bad idea, Dawn.
- Why don't we do a benefit
at the cafe?
We could get a bunch
of performers to do a show
and we'd charge admission.
- Yeah, but we'd just need
to find performers.
- We could perform.
Right, boys?
- Yeah.
- That could be great.
- I'm willing to try it.
- Oh, please.
There's nothing worse than guys
trying to sing when they can't.
both: Yep.
- Another stinker, Dawn.
- But the benefit show is
a good idea.
- Excellent.
So why don't we get away
from Dawn
and her terrible ideas
and discuss this
over some delicious cookies?
- Yeah, I have some ginger snaps
cooling on the counter.
[cell phone dings]
- [giggles]
- Dawn, are you texting
with a boy?
- No.
[cell phone dings]
[giggles]
- I know that giggle.
You are totally texting
with a boy.
- No, I'm not.
[cell phone dings]
- Fine.
Then look at that next text
without smiling or giggling.
- Piece of cake.
[giggles]
Dang it.
- Okay, Dawn, spill it.
- Fine, but you can't
tell anybody, okay?
So a few weeks ago, I was taking
the trash out to the dumpster,
and saying hi to Charity.
[goose honks]
When I heard...
[acoustic guitar music playing]
- ♪ Everybody gets by sometimes
you know ♪
♪ ♪
♪ What else can we do
when we're feelin' low ♪
- Why is such a great musician
playing out here in the alley?
- I like the acoustics.
Why is such a cute girl
taking out the trash?
- I like the scenery.
- It's even better
from where I'm standing.
- And we've been hanging out
ever since.
- Ooh, a secret romance
with an older boy,
and between
feuding families too.
- I know but that's why
we haven't told anybody
about us yet.
- You guys are like
Romeo and Juliet.
Joey-o and Dawn-iet.
Dawn-eo and Joey-et.
[laughs]
JoJo and Big D.
I'll work on it.
[rock music]
- Thanks again for letting us
hold the auditions in the cafe.
- Oh, honey, we're happy
to let you use the cafe
for such a good cause.
- Absolutely.
We're all about charity.
[chuckles]
Try to get people to eat.
Push the egg salad.
It's just on the verge.
- Uh, before we get started,
can I interest anyone
in an egg salad sandwich?
- Ooh, I'm interested.
- Oh, uh...
Dad said it's on the verge.
- Ah, usually
I have it on wheat,
but let's mix it up.
- Uh, one egg salad sandwich.
- Ooh, on verge.
- First up is Natlee
and Old-Schooley Dooley.
- Today, I'm gonna be
poppin' and lockin' for ya.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.
[funky electronic music playing
on radio]
- Here we go.
- Come on.
- I like where this is going.
- I have a good feeling
about this.
- They're wasting our lives
right now.
- Aww, yeah.
- Aww--no.
- Yeah, they really
stunk up the joint.
- Yeah, it's all roses
from here on out.
- Definitely.
- Ah, this smells worse
than Dooley.
- Knock, knock.
Knock, knock.
[falsetto]
Who's there?
- Not you.
[dramatic Latin music]
♪ ♪
both: Olé!
- Oh, my.
- Oh, boys.
- Oh, no.
- How are we ever gonna find
a performer
that will raise enough money
to impress the girls?
- Oh, and help Charity.
- Oh, come on.
We all know you're only doing it
for the girls.
[all gasp]
- Please.
You lie worse
than Dooley break dances.
- Hey, can you take the trash
out to the dumpster?
I think I pulled a glute doing
all those puntas y plantas.
- Fine.
- Sure.
- Ugh, my stomach hurts.
- Look, I know
you don't want anyone
to know about you and Joey,
but maybe we should ask him
to sing at the benefit.
You said he was really good.
- It's too risky for us
to be together in public.
- Just act like
you don't like each other.
- [scoffs]
Yeah, right.
Whenever Joey and I
are together,
we can't help but make
goo-goo eyes at each other.
- Well, you better find a way
for that goo-goo to go-go
'cause Jo-Jo just walked
in the do-do.
- We found our star act
for the benefit!
- Yeah, he was singing
in the alley to some bird.
- He's a filthy Montagelli,
but...
he's got the voice of an angel.
- This is not good.
- No, this is terrible.
But kind of wonderful.
But terrible.
But...
kinda wonderful.
Terrible.
But wonderful.
- Thank you.
It's terrible.
♪♪
[rock music]
- What are you guys doing?
Joey is not allowed--
I mean, this stinky,
low-rent pet barber
isn't allowed in here.
- We're overlooking
his obvious flaws
and vile family
because he's a great singer.
- Yeah, we'll definitely
raise enough money
to impress those girls.
And help that duck.
- Duck?
- Goose.
both: Right.
- It's all about the goose,
isn't it, Joey?
- Yeah.
Sometimes I think could get lost
in the goose's eyes forever.
- It's a goose, dude.
Take it down a notch.
- [giggles]
- I think you're the goose.
- I know.
Thanks.
Look, I don't care
how you feel about that goose--
who feels the same way
about you,
but this is a terrible idea.
- [gasps]
Montagelli.
- Dad, the boys want
this Montagelli
to play the benefit.
- No.
A Montagelli has no business
being in our store.
- Ugh, come on.
Joey's voice is so good,
it'll raise tons of money
for Charity.
- Yeah, you just need
to hear him play.
- ♪ And if you feel
you're sinking ♪
♪ I will jump right over ♪
♪ Into cold,
cold water for you ♪
♪ And although time... ♪
- I can't believe
that beautiful voice
is coming out of a Montagelli.
- So he can play at the benefit?
- ♪ You ♪
- Yes.
- Yes!
- Ah.
- He's a revelation.
[playing "Cold Water"]
- ♪ I'll be your lifeline... ♪
- Why does the guy
who likes me so much
have to be so good-looking
and talented?
- Yeah, it's a real tragedy.
- This guy's good.
- Very good.
- There's nothing better than
a boy with a beautiful voice.
- Maybe too good.
- We don't stand a chance
with the girls
if we don't get 'em away from
that golden-throated songbird.
- But that
golden-throated songbird
is our only way to have a chance
with the girls.
♪ ♪
- ♪ I'll be your lifeline
tonight ♪
♪ I won't let go ♪
[applause]
Thank you, guys,
for letting me play the benefit.
I probably should go
before my parents notice.
- Bye, Joey.
[together] Bye, Joey.
- We've made
a terrible miscalculation.
- Maybe we should
forget about the girls
and do this for Charity.
[all laugh]
- Joey's gotta go.
♪♪
- Oh, good, you got my text.
Look, I just wanted to talk
to you about what's goin--
- Joey, I get it.
I know how you feel
about the goose,
but you playing in the store's
too risky.
We could get caught.
But what do you think?
- Well, I mean--
- I hear you.
This way we could
spend more time together,
which would be nice, I know.
But is it to dangerous?
- I think that--
- You're right.
It's gonna be too hard
to act like
there's nothing going on.
Look, especially when you keep
giving me those goo-goo eyes.
But I love the goo-goo eyes.
Don't stop giving me
the goo-goo eyes.
Ugh, enough
with the goo-goo eyes.
Maybe we should just
let everyone know
that we like each other?
Do you think that
would change their minds?
- I mean, it couldn't--
- I know.
It'll be impossible
because the Harpers
and Montagellis
will never understand.
You're right.
- Look, Dawn--
- Then it's agreed.
- We'll do the event
and we'll keep us a secret.
Yes?
Okay.
Thank you so much
for helping me figure this out.
You always know exactly
what to say.
- [sighs]
You know what, Charity?
I really like--
[goose honks]
You too?
Ow.
- That Joey's so cute.
- I wish I were a goose
without a gaggle.
- It's still warm.
- You'd think a guy that
good-looking and that talented
would already have a girl
and wouldn't have to steal ours.
- Yeah, how is a hunk like that
not taken?
- Taken.
That's it.
Boy, that Joey.
What a dreamboat.
Too bad he's taken.
- What?
- No.
- Who is she?
- Uh, who is she?
She's, uh...
Dawn.
- What?
- I had no idea.
- Lucky.
- Sorry, ladies.
His FaceShack status says
his shack door's closed.
- The seat is cold.
- Nice lie, Dicky.
- Yeah, that solved everything.
- And best of all,
caused absolutely no problems.
- [laughs]
- Dawn, we have a problem.
- What's wrong?
- Faith, Hope, and Susan
were just in my store
talking about
how bummed they are that
you and I are hanging out.
I thought we agreed that
we weren't gonna tell anyone.
- We did.
- Well, I didn't tell anybody.
Did you?
- Of course not.
I would never tell--
oh, no.
- What?
- How could you do this to us?
My mom and dad overheard
and grounded me,
and now I can't leave the store.
I mean, I hate to say it,
but I guess this is good-bye,
Dawn.
- Wait, Joey, no, I--
[dial tone hums]
Mae, what did you do?
- You said I could have pie.
- No, with Joey.
You told Faith, Hope, and Susan
about us.
- I did not.
- Well, then if you didn't,
who did?
- I don't know.
why don't you just
ask the girls?
- You jerks.
- Duck.
- Goose.
[grunts]
Oh, I get it.
Duck.
[rock music]
- Look, I don't know how
you blabber mouths found out,
but because of your loose lips,
Joey just broke up with me.
- Dawn, Dawn, Dawn.
Joey's not your boyfriend.
That was a lie we made up
to keep the girls
from falling for him.
- Yeah, if you haven't noticed,
he's quite the catch.
- I know!
He was my catch!
I caught him!
We were just keeping it a secret
so our feuding families
wouldn't break us up.
[together] Oh.
- How could you lie
about me like that?
- Well, in our defense,
it turned out to be true.
So, technically, not a lie.
- Hey, at least you'll see him
at the benefit.
- He's not doing the benefit.
He's grounded.
- Great.
Now this is affecting us.
- Mae, get more pie.
- [muffled]
I ate it all.
- Let us fix this.
We'll explain to Joey
what happened
and I'm sure he'll forgive you.
- No.
No fixing, no nothing.
Stay. Outta. My. Business!
- Hey.
Why'd I get poked twice?
- Yeah, thanks a lot, Nicky.
- Hey.
[both grumbling]
- Stop it.
Look, I know Dawn just said
to stay out of her business,
but we've got to speak to Joey
and fix things.
Otherwise we've got no show.
- Yeah, and no girls.
- The Montagellis banned us.
How are we gonna get
into the groomers?
- [stomach rumbling]
- Hey, I told you not to eat
the egg salad.
- Yeah, the egg salad was fine.
It was the verge.
- Hey!
- Don't poke him.
He could explode.
♪ ♪
[door chimes]
- [grunts]
Steady down there.
- You guys are heavy.
- Well,
it's not picnic being the meat
in this dumdum sandwich, either.
- Shh.
- Is everything okay?
- [imitating adult voice]
Yes, everything's good for me.
Gerald T. Honeycutt.
[chuckles awkwardly]
"T" stands for "Tall."
Ah, there's my destination,
the grooming counter.
Just four steps forward.
[shakily]
Two, three...
and four.
Okay, maybe two big steps
to my right.
Yep.
Nope.
[grunts]
Okay, maybe one not so big step
to my left.
Okay, one tiny step forward.
Tinier!
Hello, young man.
Would you groom my cat,
Scrunchie?
Psst, psst.
[whispering forcefully]
This isn't really a cat,
and I'm not really a man.
It's Nicky.
- And Ricky.
- And Dicky.
- Yeah, no kidding.
- We're here to apologize.
We're the ones
who accidentally spilled beans
about you and Dawn.
- It was you?
It wasn't Dawn's fault?
- Nope.
So you'll perform
at the benefit, right?
- I can't.
I'm grounded.
[door chimes]
- [giggles]
- Someone's coming.
- [falsetto]
Excuse me.
[imitating southern accent]
My name's Penelope V. Tall.
[giggling]
The "V" stands for "Very."
I was just wondering
if I could get some French tips
for my kitty's toenails.
She's real fancy.
- Oh, no, Dawn's here.
- Dawn's here?
- [normal voice]
What are you guys doing here?
- The boys are here?
- Where?
- They told me what happened.
I'm sorry I accused you, Dawn.
- That's okay.
I forgive you.
but I don't forgive you.
I told you to stay out
of my business.
- Hey!
No one pokes
Gerald T. Honeycutt.
- Ow.
Stop it.
- Hey, no fighting in our store.
- Ah!
- Harpers?
What're you doing here?
- Look, they were
explaining themselves.
Can we just calm down and forget
about his stupid feud?
- No way.
The Harpers are bad people.
Now take your long coats
and get out.
- Come on, Dawn.
- No.
Just like always,
you meddled,
you didn't respect me,
and you ruined everything.
- Dawn, we're sorry,
but you ca--
- No, I'm not going.
I'd rather be a Montagelli
than a Harper.
[both gasp]
- Let's go.
♪ ♪
- So what're you gonna tell
your parents?
- Can we just forget
about my family for a moment?
- That's gonna be
kind of difficult.
- Why?
- Because they're right there.
- Wait.
What are you guys doing?
- Just listen.
Hit it, Dooley.
[off-key] ♪ There's a goose
out here alone ♪
♪ And they miss her a lot
back home ♪
♪ They're gaggle doesn't fly
the same without her ♪
- [off-key] ♪ And we know
how much that hurts ♪
♪ Our sister left
'cause we're the worst ♪
♪ And that's why we wrote
this awesome song
♪ About her... ♪
- Yeah, I wouldn't
call it "awesome."
- [off-key]
♪ Help this bird go home ♪
[piano music]
♪ Donate money with your phone ♪
♪ And maybe Dawn
will forgive us ♪
♪ And understand that we didn't
mean to hurt her feelings ♪
♪ And we like her-- ♪
- Hey, guys, guys, guys!
Stop.
That was really...
terrible.
- But we're still
posting it online
so everybody can see
how terrible
and embarrassing we are.
- Including Faith, Hope,
and Susan.
- You'd do all that for Charity,
huh?
- No.
We'd do it for our sister.
- Can you forgive us
and come back home?
- I mean, they were willing
to embarrass themselves
pretty hardcore
to make it up to you.
- Yeah.
This is terrible.
- Maybe it's not so bad
to be a Harper after all.
- Dawn?
Why are you holding hands
with a-a Montagelli?
- Maybe because she wised up
and doesn't wanna be
a stinking Harper anymore.
[all talking at once]
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
No more feuding.
Dawn and Joey like each other,
okay?
- Wh--Dawn, is that true?
- That should be more important
than any childish feud.
- Yeah, you're all adults,
and you should start
acting like it.
- Yeah, well, he started it.
- Okay, Tom.
The boys are right.
For the kids' sake,
we need to call a truce.
Agreed?
- Agreed.
- Okay.
- Tom?
- [exhales]
Fine.
For the kids.
- Yes.
Thank you, Mom and Dad.
- So, would you guys like
to come in for some egg salad?
- Okay, Tom, no.
[goose honking]
- Huh, she could fly.
- I guess she didn't wanna hear
Dicky sing again.
- I'm gonna miss
that crazy duck.
- Duck?
[bird screeches]
all: Eagle!
[rock music]
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
♪ ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪