[upbeat music]
[straw squeaking]
[straws squeaking]
- Stop it!
Stop making
such immature noises.
[trumpet fanfare]
- Hear ye! Hear ye!
Ye Olde Tom's Get Sporty!
would like to invite
one and all
to the Tenth Annual
Renaissance Faire.
As King and Queen...
- Hello.
- We shall rule thy fairgrounds
with our loyal, royal dragon...
Squishy Puffs.
- [barks]
all: Aww.
- Ah, the Ren Faire,
where we can eat with our hands,
scratch whatever itches,
and burp at will.
- Come on, let's practice.
Dawn, you be will.
[all belch]
- [chuckles]
- Stop it!
You guys are gonna ruin
the Ren Faire for me.
Why can't I just go
with somebody more mature?
- [gasps]
Who could possibly be
more mature than us?
- Someone like Mack.
- That's pretty mature.
- In fact,
I'm gonna go ask Mack
to go to the Ren Faire with me,
and show you guys
how mature people
hang out together.
- A date, huh?
[both scream]
- You let Dooley know
if you need anything.
Say, a new outfit,
some lip gloss...
- It's not a date, Dooley.
Mack and I hang out together
all the time.
We've been to the movies,
a dance, lunch as friends.
- [scoffs]
Child's play.
Those are all two hours, max.
But the Ren Faire?
We're talking
an all-day commitment.
- What's wrong, Dawn?
Not mature enough for a date?
- Please.
"Mature" is my middle name.
- I'm pretty sure it's Abigail.
- It is?
Wait, then whose middle name
is Steven?
- Yours.
- Uh, pretty sure mine's
Abigail.
- Steven!
- While you three bicker,
the mature Quad has
a social engagement to arrange.
- [scoffs]
- Yeah, it's Abigail.
- Hey, Mack, do you wanna go
on a date with me
to the Renaissance Faire?
- Yeah.
- Great!
Hear ye! Hear ye!
In ye faces.
Mae, will you join me
at the luncheon counter?
- [sighs] I can't believe
she's going on a date.
- I can't believe
I'm going on a date.
- She's not mature enough
for a date.
- I'm not mature enough
for a date.
- As much as I'd hate
to admit it,
maybe Dawn is
more mature than us.
- But we're Quads.
We go through
everything together.
Learning to walk;
learning to ride bikes;
learning long division.
- Yeah, long division.
- Yeah, riding bikes.
- You have to come with me.
- [scoffs]
I don't wanna be
the third wheel.
- Oh, hey, Miles.
May wants to know
if you wanna go on a date with
her to the Renaissance Faire.
- Really? You do?
- I do?
- You do.
- I do!
I--I mean, only if you want--
- I do.
- Oh, cool.
- Cool.
Hey, guys. Dawn just got me
a date with Mae.
Yes!
- Now she's getting dates
for other people?
We gotta get dates.
- Maybe we should get Dawn
to get us dates.
- No, we've gotta get
our own dates.
- I don't know,
she seems pretty good at it.
- Yeah, and I'm sure
she wouldn't mind helping us.
I mean, she holds me up
when I ride a bike...
for some reason.
- We are getting our own dates!
And you're learning
how to ride a bike!
- I know how to ride a bike.
Will you hold me like Dawn?
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na, na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
♪♪
- [wincing]
- Do you have to limp so loudly?
- Did you have to teach me
how to ride a bike
before we asked the girls out?
- I thought it would give us
confidence heading into this.
- And it worked.
I feel really good about myself.
- All right,
there they are.
- [sighs]
- Let's do this.
- Hello, ladies.
- What's the haps?
- Would you girls wanna
go on a date with us
to the Ren Faire?
all: Why not?
- What are those boys up to?
- I don't know,
but it doesn't look cool.
- Guess who just boarded
the next boat to mature island?
- We just asked
Olivia, Avery, and June
to go to the Faire as our dates.
- And they said, "Why not?"
- I know what you're up to.
- Up to?
We're just being mature.
- It sounds like your slow boat
is following my jet plane.
But I guess that makes sense,
because girls do mature
faster than boys.
- Oh, yeah?
Care to prove it?
- I don't have anything
to prove to you.
- Oh, yeah?
Prove that.
- Nothing is getting proven,
except how immature you all are.
- Since we maturely disagree,
why don't we settle this
with a little mature-off?
- Yeah.
both: A mature-off!
- I'd accept your challenge,
and I'd win,
but lucky for you, there's
no such thing as a mature-off.
- A mature-off, huh?
[all scream]
- Oh, there's such a thing.
- This should be good.
- Getting a date is easy,
but the mark of true maturity
is making a connection.
- What kind of connection?
- Mind, body, soul.
The triangle of romance.
all: Whoa.
- No.
- Hey,
I don't make this stuff up.
- I think you do.
- First,
you must connect the mind,
which you'll do
through simple conversation.
- Mack and I talk all the time.
- Next, the body, a connection
by holding hands,
fingers intertwined.
- We have hands.
- [whispers] Whoo.
- And third,
while holding hands,
you must look deeply
into each other's eyes,
thus connecting your souls.
- We have souls.
- On both feet.
- But how do you know so much
about romance?
- He doesn't.
- She's right.
I don't.
But my sister does.
She's in high school.
all: Oh!
- So?
- And she has a boyfriend.
all: Whoa.
- No.
- And he drives.
all: What?
- Ever.
- So now that we know the rules,
do any of you boys think
you have what it takes
to complete
the triangle of romance?
I know I do.
Aw, what's wrong?
Your little toy boat
running out of gas?
- No.
- We're in.
- And we're full of gas.
[all laugh]
- Okay.
Let the mature-off begin.
♪ ♪
[lively flute music]
♪ ♪
[trumpet fanfare]
- Welcome, lords and ladies,
to the Renaissance Faire.
- Let us explore our kingdom.
- Indeed.
- Look at all this
old-timey food.
Turkey legs, beef ribs,
pork chop on a stick?
- Wow,
that's a lot of portable meat.
[poof!]
- Whoa.
- [coughing]
Harpers,
come hither over yonder.
- Are we hithering or yondering?
- Just come here.
- Excuse us
while we hither over yonder.
- All right, remember,
the all-seeing Dooley the Great
will be watching
for whoever completes
the triangle of romance first.
- How will you watch us all
at the same time?
- Yeah.
- Pshoo!
[poof!]
- How is he gonna watch us
if he's not here?
- Oh, I'm here.
[all scream]
- But now I'm not.
Whoosh!
- So what do you guys
wanna do first?
- I wanna catapult a watermelon.
- I wanna try a turkey leg.
♪ ♪
- That's it!
Hand-holding, here I come.
Huh. I guess that's the way
you walk at a Renaissance Faire.
Maybe we should walk like that.
♪ ♪
- Okay.
♪ ♪
- Wanna get some portable meat?
- Thought you'd never ask.
- Well, we're gonna be over
by the ring toss.
- Meet us there.
- Let's end this.
I'm going in, boys.
- How are you gonna do it?
- I'm going to woo milady
with the language of the day.
Watch-eth and learn-eth.
Doth my fair maiden want-eth
to talk-eth
and hold-eth my hand-eth
perhaps-eth?
- Why are you talking so weird?
- [sighs]
He crash-eth and burn-eth.
- Meat!
Hot meat here!
- Don't worry.
I got this.
The way to a woman's soul
is through her stomach.
Let me have
one of your finest turkey legs.
- That will be $12.
- Let me have one of your
less fine turkey legs.
- $11.
- Oh, ew, greasy.
Uh, can I have a napkin?
- Yep, $2.
- Wha--
they're free with the $12 legs.
- It doesn't seem like
such a bad deal now, does it?
- Ooh, a turkey leg.
Can I have some?
- Yes, I bought it for thee.
- [sighs]
Should've bought a napkin.
But don't worry.
Sir Dicky to the rescue.
Hey, June,
why don't you come sit
on that romantic chair with me?
- Dicky,
that's not a romantic chair.
That's a catapult.
- Well, it would be romantic
if you sat--
[wailing]
Here!
- Okay,
just going to take her hand...
Yes! Now, interlock fingers,
and...
- Yes!
Wow, she's not letting go.
- Now all I need to do is
make eye contact.
- Well, I gotta go
to the little m'ladies room.
- Me too.
both: Why am I still
holding her hand?
[both scream]
- Ah!
[both scream]
- Guys, I flew over Dawn
near the palm reader.
She's getting close
to beating us.
We gotta do something.
Also, you gotta try
the catapult.
It's awesome.
- I can't wait
to get my fortune told.
- I can't waste time
on this long line.
I've got a hand to hold.
Wait, that's it.
Why wait?
I can read your palm myself.
- You know how to read palms?
- Of course.
I read 'em left and right.
[laughs]
Now I just need
to look into your eyes.
- Aren't you supposed
to look into my palm?
- Hey, which one of us went
to Camp Wanna-read-a-palm-a?
- You?
- I saw that you would say that.
- So... [laughs]
what else do you see?
- Victory.
- Look out
- [groans]
- Ugh, that was close.
Good thing you didn't spring
for the napkins.
- We've gotta find a way
to put some distance
between Dawn and Mack's
greasy hands.
- Hey, Mack.
Milord; m'buddy; m'pal.
- How are things going
with you and m'sister?
- Good, I think.
- Well,
if you wanna impress Dawn,
you should know that
Dawn loves fairy tales.
- Oh, yeah.
Dawn loves that stuff.
Her middle name is "Fairy-tale."
- Yup, Dawn Abigail Steven
Mature Fairy-tale Harper.
- Mine's Albert.
- Your name's
not really important.
What is important is that
Dawn has always wished
for a knight in shining armor.
- Of course,
Dawn will want to test you
to make sure
you're a true knight,
and a true knight is never seen
without his armor on.
- Especially the gloves.
Don't ever take the gloves off.
Do you understand, Mack Albert?
- Yeah,
it's pretty straightforward.
- Okay, that'll delay Dawn,
but now one of us
has to complete the triangle.
- We gotta get back
to the girls.
- I know a shortcut.
- [all screaming]
- [groans]
all: M'ladies.
- [groans]
- Wait, where's Mack?
- Hey, Dawn.
- Mack?
- Ah, dude, shiny.
- I'm like something
out of a fairy tale, right?
- Aren't you hot in there?
- A little.
- Okay,
that looks really uncomfortable.
Maybe you should take it off.
- A true knight must stay-eth
in his armor,
lest his lady
need-eth protection.
Especially the gloves.
But you'd know that,
Dawn Abigail Steven Mature
Fairy-tale Harper.
- I think the heat is
getting to him.
- No,
I think my brothers got to him.
- Little bit of both.
[loud crash]
- In the future,
we may all travel by catapult.
all: Ooh.
- Care to step
into the future with me?
Hey, Mack Albert,
I'm working here.
- But I see
you still have your gloves on
like we told you to.
- I knew you three were
up to something.
- Wow.
She's steaming mad.
- Uh, excuse us for a moment.
- I cannot believe you guys
tried to ruined my date
by using my love of fairy tales
against me.
- Sorry, Dawn.
Sometimes the Ren Faire
is a little unfair. [laughs]
Nailed it.
- Hark, ye subjects!
'Tis time to get jousty.
[laughs]
The winners shall be crowned
Lord or Lady of the Faire.
- And with their partners,
they will join
the Royal Procession,
holding hands thusly.
[swooning sigh]
- That's it.
If we win the joust,
we can hold hands thusly,
and thus complete
the triangle of romance.
- Wait, do you think
holding hands thusly counts?
- I'll allow it.
[all scream]
- Poof!
I'm just gonna walk off.
I'm out of pellets.
- All right, so let's settle
this with a joust.
- Joust we shall.
- So how's your balance
in that armor?
- Not great.
Why?
[loud crash]
- To the catapult!
[all screaming]
- We're getting good at this.
- Okay, Dicky, focus.
How are we gonna win the joust
against all these people?
- I've got an idea.
[whispering]
- Hey.
Did you hear what happened
at the joust last year?
It was a bloodbath.
Heads literally rolled.
- It's true.
My brother was there.
A part of him still is.
- Now it's time to get jousty.
[trumpet fanfare]
- You know,
if there was a show-off contest,
you'd be the Queen of that too.
- [scoffs]
That's not showing off.
This is showing off.
[jazz trumpet solo]
- Are you done, Anne?
- ♪ A-squee-bah, a-squee-bah ♪
♪ A-squee-squal-ee-squee,
lah-bee-bah-bah-dah ♪
- Okay, okay.
We all get it, you can scat.
Welcome to
the Royal Jousting Tournament!
[cheers and applause]
- Jousting in today's
first round
will be Sirs Nicky, Ricky,
Dicky, and...
Wait, that's it?
Those are the only contestants?
- It worked.
We're the only contestants.
Now one of us is
guaranteed to win,
so you two fall down.
- But why should I fall down?
You and Ricky should fall down.
- Sir Ricky falls down
for no one.
- Two of us are gonna have to
fall down if we wanna beat Dawn.
- You're all falling down...
[imitates horse chuffing]
And none of you are
going to beat me.
- We have
a last-minute addition.
Joining the joust will be
Dame Dawn.
[cheers and applause]
- To your corners!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Let the joust begin.
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
- [imitates horse chuffing]
[scattered screams]
[confused murmuring]
- Well, it looks like
for the first time ever,
we have a tie.
- No!
One of us has to be the winner,
and hold the fair maiden's hand.
- Knight Nicky's got this.
- No, Knight Ricky does.
- No, Knight Dicky does.
- None of you are knights.
It's only the Dame who has game.
- Just fight already!
- It's called Get Jousty,
not Get Talky.
[all booing]
- That's it!
This is my advantage.
- Every Quad for himself.
♪ ♪
- Fighting with turkey legs?
Genius!
Ow--uh, yes,
d--don't do that.
It's a waste of food.
- Wait, he's right.
First one to finish
their turkey leg wins.
♪ ♪
- Kids! Kids, wait!
What--what are you doing?
- Look at us.
We're eating turkey legs
to prove who's most mature.
- But why are you trying
to prove who's most mature?
- Well, Dawn got a date,
and then we wanted to see
who could complete
the triangle of romance first.
- The triangle of what?
- You know,
connect with your date;
hold hands; look in the eyes;
mind, body, soul.
- That's why you guys
have been acting so weird?
- That's why I've been wearing
this armor all day?
I've lost 12 pounds.
- I don't think the triangle
of romance is even a thing.
- Yeah, who would tell you
something so dumb?
- [laughs nervously]
Dooley the Great bids you adieu.
Poof!
- Mack,
I'm sorry I ruined our day.
I--I guess I just wasn't ready
for a date.
I mean, that's why I dragged
Mae and Miles along.
- And we're sorry too.
- I--I guess we're not as mature
as we thought.
- Well, I think admitting that
is pretty mature.
And don't worry, when it's
time to date, you'll know it.
- And kids,
you can't force a connection.
That happens naturally
after you get to know someone.
Kinda like that.
- You know, dates are cool,
but that joust
looked like way more fun.
- Yeah, I kinda wanted
to join in.
- [giggles]
- Oh.
- Okay, okay.
All right, right--
Ah! Right, everybody,
everybody, everybody, hey!
Just--just scat.
[all scatting]
- You're loving this, aren't ya?
- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
[all continue scatting]
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪