[upbeat music]
- Coming up next,
another episode of America's
favorite reality show,
"The Life of Eiffel."
- With me, Eiffel!
- Ugh, when I was in ballet
class with Eiffel,
I couldn't stand her.
But now that she's on TV,
I love her.
- Me too.
- Me three.
- Me three, too.
♪ ♪
- I'm your sister.
You can't have family
game night without me.
- Sorry, Eiffel,
you make it odd.
- So?
We can play two against three.
- No. I meant, like,
you make it odd
because, ya know,
you're odd.
- Ugh!
Odd?
I'm not odd!
I'm odd-dacious!
I can't believe you don't
want me at your game night.
I'm America's
toilet paper princess!
When people wipe their tushies,
all they think about
is this face.
- I know I do.
- Fine!
I'll have my own game night.
With better games
and better snacks.
But you know what
it won't have?
You, Lilly.
You.
Eiffel out!
[all screaming]
- Okay, who's hurt?
all: Shh!
- Anyone bleeding?
all: Shh!
- I think one of 'em
sprung a leak.
- No one's hurt.
- We were just watching
"The Life of Eiffel."
- With her, Eiffel.
- This episode is so good.
- Lilly's having game night
and uninvited Eiffel.
- Because she thinks
she's odd.
- So then Eiffel was all,
"Ugh, I'm not odd...
I'm odd-dacious."
But then Lilly was all, "Ghost
out, toilet paper princess.
Around here,
you're number two."
[all giggling]
- Have you guys been watching
this all day?
- Well, the day's
not over yet,
but that was our goal, yes.
- Yeah, it's not like we're
addicted to it or anything.
- Oh, well then you won't mind
if I turn it off.
- No, no, no, no!
- Dad!
- Why did the bad man
take my friends away?
- I'm sorry, kids, but it's time
you "ghosted" out of this show.
- "Ghosted," Dad?
Don't try to sound young.
- You kids need to stop watching
other people's TV lives,
and start living
your own lives.
- You don't understand.
They're rich and famous.
Their TV lives are way more
interesting than our real lives.
- True dat.
- Dat not true.
- Now it's just sad.
- Listen, I'm just saying,
you're interesting.
- Yeah, you're quadruplets.
Do you know how many sets of
quads there are in the world?
- 3,556.
You asked!
- All I'm saying is that
if you just got off the couch
and did something, maybe you
could be rich and famous.
- What do we do now?
- What's the purpose
of our lives if we can't
watch other people's
lives on TV?
- Wait...
that's it!
Mom and Dad are right.
We're every bit as
interesting as Eiffel and Lilly.
We should just make a reality
show about ourselves.
- Yeah!
I mean, we may not be
odd-dacious,
but we're quad-dacious.
- We'll be a bigger hit than
"The Life of Eiffel."
- And then once we're
rich and famous,
we can watch anything we want,
anytime we want.
- Well, when we're
not jet-skiing
in a giant pool of pudding.
We're gonna be rich.
Think big, guys.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
[upbeat music]
- Thanks for helping us
with our reality show, Dooley.
- Yeah, you're the only guy we
know who could
get us this kind of
camera equipment.
- Hey, who helps you out
when you need helping out?
all: Dooley do.
- When you needed four matching
suits of armor,
who got 'em for you?
all: Dooley do.
- And when you needed four
wetsuits, a lock pick,
and 200 water guns
filled with Greek yogurt,
who got 'em for you?
all: Dooley do!
- Uh, wouldn't it be
"Dooley did"?
- Depends on when
Dooley do it.
Now let Dooley
show you what he done.
In addition to
the Dooley-cam...
I've also hidden cameras
downstairs, upstairs,
in your parents' store--pretty
much everywhere you're gonna go.
I've even got one on the dog.
[snaps fingers]
- He asked me to wear one.
I said no.
- Now here's your portable
Quadfessional.
This is where you can escape
and get things off your chest.
- Oh, I got things
on my chest.
It totally works.
This chocolate chip
came right off my chest.
- That's a mole.
- Either way,
it popped right off.
- Anyway...
I can control all the cameras
right here from this tablet.
- Dooley, this is incredible.
- Yeah, but where
did you get all this--
- Eh, eh, eh.
- Wait, this stuff isn't--
- Jee, jee, jee.
The less you know,
the better.
- That's always worked for me.
- No one else is concerned
about where all the--
- Zub, bub, bub.
- You can't--
- Bap!
- But I--
- Bap, bap, bap, bap.
- All right, I'm dropping it,
but I am not comfortable.
- Now let's do this.
The faster we shoot this, the
faster we get rich and famous.
- And the faster we can
watch whatever we want.
- Okay, camera's rolling.
Just act normal.
And...
Action.
[static]
[dramatic music]
- [whispering] This is
totally lame.
- Do something interesting.
- You do something interesting!
- I'll do
something interesting.
Table flip!
♪ ♪
I'm pretty sure that table's
nailed to the floor.
Guys, a little help here.
[all grunting]
- Come on, come on.
- Okay.
[all grunting]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So turns out, we weren't
as interesting as we thought.
But it didn't take long
for us to figure out
how to make it more
"quad-dacious."
- Guess what.
Someone in this room
has a birthday coming up.
- Oh, is it me?
- No.
- Is it you?
- We have the same birthday.
- Oh.
Is it us?
- No, it's Mae.
- So what do you want to do
for your birthday this year?
Big party?
The best reality shows
have really big parties.
And big parties always have
tension, arguments,
and drama.
All the good stuff.
- I don't want a party.
Too much drama.
- Oh, nonsense!
It's your birthday.
- Yeah, but you guys always...
how to I put this gently?
Completely ruin
my birthday parties.
- I wouldn't say completely.
- Last year, Dicky
blew out my candle.
- Who hasn't accidentally
blown out someone's candle?
- With his barf.
- That was your fault for having
a hotdog-eating contest.
- It wasn't a contest.
Those were for everybody.
- Okay, so, last year, I admit,
not your best birthday.
- And the year before?
- Hey, you served sloppy Joes
before you let us
in the bounce house.
That was not on us.
- No, it was on everybody else.
- Okay, I think we can all agree
we overeat and throw up a lot.
- If we promise
not to eat anything,
will you let us
make it up to you
and throw you
a party this year?
all: Please?
- Fine!
But nothing big, just us.
- Got it.
Nothing big--great idea.
Terrible idea!
"Nothing big"?
Talk about boring!
- Right?
Who wants to watch that?
- Hey, get out of
my Quadfessional!
- Hey get out of
Ricky's Quadfessional!
- But I want to make sure we're
not gonna have a lame party.
- Nicky's right.
Think about how bad
that'd be for us.
I-I mean Mae.
This is all about Mae.
- Yeah!
Mae.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So, when you say
you want your party to be
just us, you mean, like,
just us
and 50 people, right?
- Dawn.
- All right.
What about 45?
- Dawn!
- Fine, 20 guests.
No more.
- We're going to need a theme.
- A theme?
- How about cats?
Mae likes cats.
- I do like cats.
- We got this, Mae.
- Oh, she also likes
root beer floats.
- I do like
root beer floats!
- Mae, please.
- We can it a
"Mae's Favorite Things" party.
- Love it!
- Awesome.
- That really
ties it all together.
- Okay, fine.
20 friends, a few things
I like, but that's it.
You guys have to promise me
this party won't get huge.
all: We promise.
all: We lied.
♪ ♪
- Oh heck to the no,
massage lady.
I'm not just gonna stand here
and take that.
- Yeah, you cross the
toilet paper princess,
you get straight-up flushed.
- Ka-floosh.
Boom.
[door opens]
- What you doing, Tom?
- Just being a good dad
and keeping tabs on
what the kids are watching.
And I have got to tell you...
it's genius!
- No, no, honey.
Reality TV is so phony,
and fake, and--
why is she being so mean
to that masseuse?
- Because she made fun
of her "Snow Wipe"
toilet paper commercial.
- What?
I don't wipe my tushy without
thinking of her face.
- Right?
I'm gonna say what I said to you
on our wedding night.
Let's go on this journey
together, Anne.
- [laughs]
- Now take your massage table,
and get out!
[both screaming]
- I can't believe she just
flipped a massage table!
- She flips a table
in every episode.
- I am so happy to be
on this journey with you--
- Then help me!
[both grunting]
And don't worry, there's no way
the kids could possibly know
what we're watching right now.
[both grunting]
- Ugh, what is in this thing?
♪ ♪
- Root beer float fixings.
Check.
30 kitties for the
cat petting zoo.
Check.
- Wait, where did
we get 30 cats?
- Yut-dut-dut!
Better you don't know.
- Cake candles.
Check.
Party music.
Check.
- Lame check list--
all: Check!
- This list is not lame!
- This list is sucking all the
fun out of this world.
- Trust me,
we need this list.
It's gonna help us make sure
Mae's party is problem-free.
- Problem-free?
But without problems,
there'll be no drama.
- Without drama,
there'll be no show.
- Without a show,
we're never gonna be able to
jet ski in a lake
filled with ice cream.
- I thought it was
a pool full of pudding?
- I'm thinking big, people!
We needed drama.
And if we've learned anything
from "The Life of Eiffel"
it's that nothing stirs up a
little "party drama"
quicker than telling someone
they can't come anymore.
So let's start stirring.
- My good stirring spoon.
♪ ♪
- Bad news, Mae.
Ricky just went over the
guest list,
and he says
it's ballooned up to 21.
And since you really, really
wanted to keep it to 20 guests,
I guess there's
only one thing we can do.
You're gonna have to
cut somebody.
- No, that's okay.
I could live with 21.
- Did I say 21?
I meant 22.
So, who's
getting the boot?
What about Miles?
- Nah, that's okay.
- 22 is fine.
- No, no, no.
You said 20 was your limit
and we need to
respect your wishes.
- Yeah, but I just don't want
anyone to feel left out.
That's too much drama.
- Yeah, drama.
Who wants that?
[laughs]
And girlfriend
doesn't like drama.
- Well, if girlfriend
won't un-invite someone
from her party,
maybe we should just do what
real reality shows do
and vote one of ourselves out.
- Interesting.
- That could work.
- Very dramatic.
- All right, it's settled.
We'll vote,
and by the end of the night,
one of us won't be going
to Mae's party.
- But who?
- Little does Nicky know,
I'm already plotting his demise.
I know exactly
who is going to get voted out.
Me?
I got voted out?
- Apparently,
he didn't know exactly
who was going
to get voted out.
- Ricky is not happy!
- Drama.
Check.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I can't believe
you voted me out!
- Isn't this what you wanted?
- Yeah, wasn't it your idea
to have the vote
in the first place?
- That was when I thought
I had the numbers!
We had an alliance!
You promised me you'd
vote for Nicky.
- I did?
[dog growling]
- Listen, if I get Dawn
to vote for Nicky,
will you vote for him, too?
- Yes!
- You said yes!
- Only because that was
the first time
I ever beat Squishy
in a tug-o-war.
I mean...
I could have beat him before,
but he cheats.
- [whimpers]
- You promised
to vote for Nicky, too.
- I know.
But that was before
he made us...
this.
- Sometimes you have to
fight fire with flan.
- You know what?
It's fine.
If you don't want me
at the party, I won't go!
In fact, maybe I should just
drop out of this whole thing.
- What whole thing?
- This stupid show.
I'm not "Hanging with the
Harpers" anymore.
I quit!
[grunts]
[roars]
- I got to admit,
I'm gonna miss his persistence.
- You know what
you're also gonna miss?
My checklist!
No Ricky, no list-y.
- No biggie.
- Yes, biggie!
- Oh, please-y.
I think we can pull off
Mae's party without your list.
- Good luck.
Without this list,
you'll have no idea
how to make the party
a success.
Ricky out!
[grumbling]
- You know what?
This list just gave me
a great idea for this party.
Confetti!
♪ ♪
- Next season on
"The Life of Eiffel"...
- With me, Eiffel!
- The tables are turned...
- [gasps]
Whoever flipped my table
is gonna pay.
- Yeah, someone's
getting flushed.
- Not now.
I'm not in the mood
to ka-floosh.
- You know, we have to
be at the store early
to set up for Mae's party.
We should probably stop watching
and get to bed.
- Tom!
I thought we were
on this journey together!
I'm not going to bed until I
find out who turned that table.
- I have never loved you more.
[door opens]
- Hide!
- Oh, oh!
No, no, honey, close it.
- Slide it, slide it--
- Close it, just close it--
- Slide it, slide it--
[muffled]
- One of your friends, Eiffel.
- What?
La, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la la.
Oops.
It just slipped
right out of my hand.
- Just having some ice cream.
- Mmm.
- What're you doing?
- So my parents
have lost their minds.
But in other news, the party
is coming together great.
Mae is gonna love it.
♪ ♪
- I don't love it.
It's all just too much.
- Great party, Mae.
- I know!
Isn't it all
just too much?
I still don't love it.
- Don't worry!
You will.
We have a lot more planned.
- There's more?
Ugh.
- Despite Mae's hesitance,
the party was shaping up
to be exactly what we needed
to make our show a success
and make us rich and famous.
- Hey!
Ladies.
- Um, what're you doing here?
- We voted you out.
- Your vote is irrelevant,
since I am no longer
on your silly reality show.
- That "silly reality show"
is your reality.
- Not anymore.
As you can see,
I now have my own show.
It's called "Strictly Ricky."
Now if you'll excuse me.
- Okay, there is no way
"Strictly Ricky"
is stealing our party.
Now, Dicky, grab a cat
and meet me at the throne.
Queen Mae needs a lap kitty.
- Nice crown!
[whispers] Don't look at
the camera.
- How can I not?
It's right in my face.
- [laughs]
Oh, Mae, you're too funny.
Too bad you're stuck
hanging with the Harpers.
You'd be a star on my show.
- But I thought it was called
"Strictly Ricky"?
- Well, I'm thinking of
changing it to
"Strictly Ricky!
And Sometimes Mae."
- [giggles nervously]
There's my best friend
and the birthday girl.
Come on, it's kitten time.
- She was talking to me.
On my camera.
On my show.
- She was on our show first.
- Let go!
- Come on, man.
- You like us better, right?
- Let go!
- Guys, stop it,
you're hurting me!
- Stop making this
all about you, Mae.
- But it's my birthday!
- You're right.
It is your birthday.
So it's time
we sang to you.
Everybody gather round.
Time to sing
"Happy Birthday."
Wait till you see
the little surprise
that wasn't on your list.
As soon as the song ends,
Dooley's gonna fire off
all those confetti canons.
- Don't know how, why,
or when,
but somehow,
you'll screw it up.
- Not gonna happen.
Oh, excuse me.
Dicky, what're you doing?
Mae should have--
where are all the cats?
- They're playing
in their cat tubes.
- What cat tubes?
- All of 'em!
[dramatic music]
- Those are for confetti!
Dooley, don't set off
those can--
No cats were harmed in what
you're about to see.
But do not try this at home.
Ever.
For any reason.
[record scratching]
Canons!
[cats meowing]
- This is a cat-tastrophe!
[cat meowing]
- This is all your fault!
- Cat butt on my face!
Cat butt on my face!
Get it off!
- My fault?
How is this my fault?
- 'Cause if it wasn't for you,
we wouldn't even be here!
- Enough!
This is the worst
birthday party ever.
- What do you mean?
At least nobody
threw up on your cake.
[cat meowing, vomiting]
- Ugh!
The cat yakked on the cake.
- And I stand corrected.
- I can't believe you guys!
both: It's his fault!
- It's their fault!
- You're all at fault!
I didn't want any of this.
But you were so wrapped up in
creating drama for your show,
that you ruined another one
of my birthdays.
Oh, and I finally decided who I
want to un-invite for my party.
Me!
Who's the queen of
the reality show now?
See, when I realized they were
messing up my birthday again,
I decided to get something
out of it.
My own spinoff.
I'm gonna call it,
"No One Does Drama Like Mama."
Boom.
- Mae?
We're sorry.
- All of us.
- We were selfish jerks.
- We were so focused
on our fake reality,
we screwed up our real one.
- And it wasn't worth it.
- Yeah, being rich and famous
became more important than our
friendship.
You would never
do that to us.
- Yeah, you'd never get caught
up in this kind of drama.
- Yeah.
Drama.
Who wants that?
♪ ♪
- We didn't think you'd see.
- And I didn't really mean--
- Maybe we should give up
reality TV for a while.
- And delete this
and never show it to anyone.
Ever.
all: Deal.
[dog barks]
- All right.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
- [whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪