[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Check it out, Anne.
The cafe may be empty,
but the rest of the store
is still bringing them in.
- Well, except that line
is headed out.
[gasps]
And so are Dawn and Mae.
This isn't good.
Dawn, what are you guys doing?
- We're in line Captain Felde's
cafe down the street.
- [gasps]
You're cheating on our cafe?
- Do your brothers know?
all: Oh, we know.
- [gasps]
- All of you?
[gasps]
And all your friends?
After all the free smoothies
I gave you kids.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You give them free smoothies?
- I just want them to like me,
Anne.
- Sorry, Mom and Dad,
but everybody's been going
to Captain Felde's cafe
ever since Gourmet Guy
gave him a rave review
on his food blog.
- His rating scale goes from
a "meh" to four "oh, my's."
- And he just gave
Captain Felde's 3 1/2 "oh, my's"
- How did they get
3 1/2 "oh, my's?"
Their new signature dish:
the burgerito.
A burger in a burrito
on a bun.
- Wow, how did they
come up with that?
- They did customer research.
- Well, how do you know?
- 'Cause we were the customers
they researched.
- I mean, no wonder our only
customer is an old lady
stealing sugar packets.
- Maybe the cafe just needs
some new ideas.
- Yeah, you could always
check the suggestion box.
- Hey, good thinking.
I forgot about this thing.
It must be 12 years old.
[exhales sharply]
[coughs]
Ah, here's a suggestion.
"Maybe there shouldn't be
four crying babies in the store.
They should be home
with their mother."
[scoffs] What kind of customer
writes that?
See, you don't need a break.
[babies crying]
Maternity leave,
shmaternity leave.
- Okay, no need to read
any more. [chuckles]
They are clearly all old.
- Well, you know,
we could help you guys
and do our own
customer research.
- Yeah, we'll ask some
of our friends about our cafe.
- Wait,
but after burgeritos, right?
- Oh, yeah.
- Totally.
- Of course.
[upbeat music]
- [whistling]
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Welcome to our customer
research session
for the cafe
at Tom's Get Sporty.
To thank you for
your participation,
you will each get
one burgerito.
Ah, ah, ah, after you
have completed the survey.
[all groaning]
- We will be asking you
a series of questions
and would appreciate
your honest opinions.
- Let's start with
what you like.
I like the smell
of those burgeritos.
- Forget the burgeritos.
What do you like
about the Get Sporty cafe?
- Uh, the colors are fun.
- Those framed sports jerseys
are cool.
- I feel bigger when I sit
at these little tables.
- Mae?
- I guess if I had
to say something,
I don't like
these bendy straws.
The noise they make
freaks me out.
- We're naming things we like,
Mae.
- Oh.
Pass.
- What if we had a smoothie
we set on fire?
- I'd be into that.
- We're not setting anything
on fire.
- No.
- [groans]
- Now let's talk about...
what you don't like.
- Mae?
- Pass.
- Mae?
- Seriously.
I'm not touching this.
- Anyone?
all: It's your parents.
- Our parents?
- They're always in the cafe.
- Because they own it.
- But they're always
getting in our biz.
- And at Captain Felde's cafe,
we get to hang out
with just kids.
- Sorry, Dawn, but it does feel
like your parents
are always watching us.
- Well, this has been
very informative.
Thank you for your time.
Enjoy your burgeritos.
- Listen, kids, we may have
accidentally overheard
a little bit of what
was going on.
- And sure, yeah,
we may be around sometimes.
- Yeah.
- But it's not like we're always
getting in their "biz."
[playing accordion]
♪ Mange, mange ♪
♪ How is the pizza? ♪
- Ah, ah, ah, not till
your homework is finished.
- ♪ Hey, you'll love the straw ♪
♪ And you'll use it
every day, hey! ♪
Okay, they do have a point.
- Yeah.
- But if the kids don't want us
in the cafe,
how are we gonna fix it?
- I don't know.
We have been having problems
with it for a while.
- Yeah.
With this new competition,
I hate to say it, but...
looks like we're going to have
to close it down.
- What?
- Close it down?
- Well--
- But we grew up in this cafe.
We have a lot of memories here.
- Yeah, like when I got hit
in the face with that baseball
and lost my first tooth.
- Or when I threw that baseball
and knocked out his first tooth.
- Exactly.
- And I've always had big plans
for us to be running it
some day.
- Really?
I was thinking of going
to college
and actually doing something
with my life.
- Seriously, we're not ready
to lose the cafe just yet.
Can you at least give us
the chance to save it first?
all: Please!
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, we'll give it a shot.
- One week, and that's it.
- Yep.
- Yes!
- Yes, thank you so much.
We won't let you down.
- All right.
I already have my first idea
for the cafe.
- Good for you.
- You're out.
- Tough break, Anne.
- Wait, what?
- You're both out.
- What?
- Sorry, but the research
is never wrong.
- Ah, man.
- Fine.
Let's grab one of these
for the road.
- No, no, no, no, no.
burgeritos are for participants
only.
- Fine.
- Thank you.
- Run, Anne! Go, go, go!
- Oh, thank you.
♪
[upbeat music]
- Any orders yet?
- Nope.
- Any customers?
- Nope.
- Reservations?
- No, but I'm beginning to have
a few about opening this place.
- Guys,
we're not off to a good start.
We need customers.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh, here come two now.
- Seriously?
- Hey, kids.
- all: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Well, just where do you think
you're going?
- That doesn't say,
"The Parent Cafe."
- It says,
"The Parent-Free Cafe."
- Guys, we've been watching you
for the last two hours,
and The Parent-Free Cafe
is also customer-free.
- Clearly, you need us.
- all: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Let us also remind you
of our research.
And I quote...
- And he quotes.
- "Your parents are always
getting in our biz."
- End quote.
- The quote is over.
- Uh, guys, in the future,
I'd like to do my own quotes.
- He'd like to do
his own quotes.
- Okay, well, clearly
this isn't working.
I mean, even your friends
aren't here.
- Yes, they are.
Oh, here they come now.
- And there they go.
- Uh, would you excuse us
for one second?
Uh, what are you guys doing?
- Yeah, we made our place
parent-free.
- Yeah, we got buttons.
- Why are you still in line
for Captain Felde?
- We're not. This is a new line
for Pippin's Paninis.
- Gourmet Guy just gave
four "oh, my's"
to their weenie panini.
- [chuckles]
He said weenie.
- They put a hot dog
inside a panini.
- [chuckles]
She said panini.
- Sorry.
- Okay, all right.
At least we know we need more
than just no parents.
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
We need our own burgerito
or weenie panini.
- Yeah, we can each come up
with a food combo,
then we'll pick the best,
and call Gourmet Guy
to come review it.
- Yeah.
- Wait, you can't just call
Gourmet Guy.
He doesn't give out his number
willy-nilly.
- [chuckles]
"Willy-nilly."
- Fine.
We won't call him.
We'll e-mail him
until he agrees.
- In the meantime, we've got
two customers at our cafe.
- Look down at your button,
Dicky.
- Oh.
[chuckles]
You said button.
[laughing]
[upbeat music]
- [whistling]
- Why does she keep throwing
this thing away?
This could have
some great suggestions in it.
"The owner should lose
that awful toupee.
He's not fooling anyone."
Huh?
- Ah.
[chuckles]
- I thought that toupee
looked great, Squish.
I mean, why would someone--
This is Anne's handwriting.
These are all Anne's.
[exhales sharply]
I do not do
little girl push-ups.
[dog sneezes]
Really?
[upbeat music]
- Thanks for being here, Mae,
to help us decide whose
fun food combo is the best.
- Are you sure you need me
to do this?
- Yeah.
We need an impartial judge.
- [blows kiss]
- Uh...pass.
- Well, I guess we'll have to
do it ourselves.
I'll start.
I stuffed a pita
with a fajita.
The fapita.
Deal with it.
[lid clangs]
- Ah, impressive,
but I see your fapita,
and I raise you a waffle
with falafel in it.
The waffle-falafel.
Deal with that.
[lid clangs]
- Oh, nice try,
but meet...the pizza-dilla.
Two slices of pizza slapped
together to make a quesa-dilla.
Boom.
- It's pronounced "quesadilla,"
so it would be
the pizzadilla.
- I'll say it how I want.
It's my i-dilla.
[lid crashes]
- Ow!
- Okay, no more lid dropping.
Nicky, what have you got?
- Drum roll, please.
- Ooh, what is that?
A drumstick inside
a dinner roll?
- No,
I'm asking for a drum roll.
- Me too.
It sounds delicious.
- Ha.
The kabob gobbler.
Turkey and all the fixings.
It's Thanksgiving on a stick.
Boom.
I'd drop this, but I respect
my cookware too much.
- All right, let's vote.
- Vote?
[scoffs]
Please.
As the closest thing
to a chef here,
I know what's best,
and it's the kabob gobbler.
- Uh, it's clearly
the fapita.
- Uh, waffle-falafel.
- Pizza-dilla.
- "Dilla."
- Best meal of the year
on a stick.
[all yelling at once]
- Guys, guys, Gourmet Guy
just e-mailed us back.
- [gasps]
- He's coming tomorrow.
So if we really want to save
the cafe,
we have to get
a good review.
So let's hit him
with our best:
the kabob gobbler.
- Nicky, none of us want Mom and
Dad to shut down the cafe,
but we all have to agree.
- But since we can't,
what are we gonna do?
- I give you the kabob gobbler
Waffle-Falafel
Fapita Pizza-dilla.
- "Dilla."
- Let it go.
- Nicky, as the closest thing
we have to a chef,
what do you think?
- [scoffs]
What do I think?
I think it lacks focus.
I think it's a mish mosh of
11 different foods on a stick.
I think it's
a culinary abomination.
- That's a good name.
And here's a better one.
The Food Bat.
[whooshes]
- You know what?
That is a home run.
Hey, check it out.
- [gasps]
- That's gotta be Gourmet Guy.
- Okay, guys,
it's show time.
- Table for one, sir?
- That'd be lovely.
- Might I recommend
our signature dish...
the Food Bat.
- Oh, my.
- [gasps]
That's one "oh, my,"
and he hasn't even tasted it.
- Oh, my.
- That's two.
- Yes!
- That's two.
- [chuckles]
Oh, my!
- Three!
- Oh...
my.
- Yes! That's four "oh, my's."
- Oh, he's so gonna give us
a rave review.
- Whoa!
- Mmm.
all: "Meh"?
- How could he give us
a "meh"?
- Maybe we should have
set it on fire.
- Dicky, that "meh" could cost
us the cafe.
- You know, I don't get it.
We all heard Gourmet Guy say,
"Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my,
Oh...my."
Unless...
that wasn't Gourmet Guy.
- But he's the only person
we served.
Who else could it
have been?
- Meh.
What?
It...needs salt.
I think there's some...
not in here.
- Um, Nicky,
did you just say, "meh"?
- Uh, no, I said, uh,
I said, "Mae."
- Pretty sure it was "meh."
- Well, I'm telling you
it was "Mae."
- Why would you say "Mae"?
She's not even here.
- You're right.
I-I said, "guacmaemole."
- Nobody says that.
- Oh, yes, then it must have
been, uh, "guacamolmae."
- No one says that either.
- Oh, uh, then I meant to say,
uh, "guacmaemolmae."
Everybody says that.
- Is there something
you want to tell us, Nicky?
- I mean, noth--nothing
really comes to mind.
Fresh "guacmaemolmae"?
- Admit it,
you're Gourmet Guy.
- What?
No.
- Admit it!
- Uh, no.
- Admit it!
- Okay, fine.
I'm Gourmet Guy.
You happy?
- Yeah.
- What--hey, hey!
Ah!
This is exactly why Gourmet Guy
likes to remain anonymous.
♪
- What were you thinking,
Nicky?
This could ruin everything
we've worked for.
How could you give us
a bad review?
- Because...as Gourmet Guy,
I have a responsibility
to give my readers
the truth.
- Yeah,
and as our brother,
you also have a responsibility
to us.
- I bet he's just mad
'cause we wouldn't
feature his kabob gobbler.
- That's not why I posted it.
No matter how mad
I was as Nicky,
as Gourmet Guy, I gave
my completely honest opinion.
- I'm calling a quaddle.
Minus Gourmet Guy.
- Is Nicky still invited?
- No!
Nicky sits there
and thinks about
what Gourmet Guy did.
- All right,
what do we do?
- I say we kick him out
of the quads.
From now on, we'll just be
the Three Quads.
- We can't be the Three Quads,
Dicky. Quads means four.
- Yeah, just like dilla
is pronounced "deya."
- All right, I've got it.
We'll have Gourmet Guy
review us again,
but this time we'll just serve
him Nicky's kabob gobbler.
- Perfect. He's sure to give
himself four "oh, my's."
- Okay, here's how this
is gonna go down.
- Guys,
I heard the whole thing.
You're three feet away.
- So, you'll do it,
right?
- Absolutely.
Nicky looks forward to cooking
the kabob gobbler,
and Gourmet Guy looks forward
to reviewing it.
- I'm not sure which one of you
I'm talking to,
but whoever it is,
tell the other one he's weird.
[upbeat music]
- Hey, Tom,
do you have the receipt
for that tube sock order?
- No, but I do have this.
- Ugh.
Did you have to part it, Tom?
- Have to?
No.
This is your punishment.
- Come on, honey.
I wrote those thing, like,
right after the kids were born.
I was on no sleep and clearly
not thinking straight.
So please just--just hand over
the box.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- What?
- I want to read
the rest of them.
I'm sure there's a few in here
about my mother.
- Honey, you are wrong.
There's more than a few.
- Have you decided on what
you'll be having yet, sir?
- Let's see, let's see,
let's see.
Do you have any bisque?
- We do not.
- Might I suggest
the kabob gobbler.
The only thing on the menu.
- Okay, so that's one
kabob gobbler.
- Would you like that
set on fire?
- How does the chef
recommend it?
- Not set on fire.
- One kabob gobbler
"not set on fire."
- Oh, my.
- One!
- Oh, my.
- Yes! Two!
- Oh, my.
Oh.
- all: "Meh?"
- Yeah, did you guys call me?
- We weren't talking to you,
Mae.
How could you give us
another "meh?"
- I don't get it, Nicky.
We heard you say "oh, my"
four times.
- I said it,
but I just couldn't write it.
- Why not?
The kabob gobbler was
your creation.
- I'm sorry.
The critic in me has to be
honest with the chef in me.
And the chef in me stinks.
- What are you talking about?
We all tasted it,
and it was delicious.
- I can't come back
from a review like this.
- But Gourmet Guy said,
"The chef shows promise."
- Well, what does he know?
- He's you.
- What do I know?
- Then don't post it.
- I have to.
I have a deadline.
- Well, call the editor
and tell him
you're not going to make it.
- I am also the editor.
- Look, you can't post
that review.
It'll ruin the cafe,
and Mom and Dad
will definitely close it down.
- Hey!
- Let go!
- You let go!
- [grunts]
It's three against one.
You'll never win.
- Wrong.
It's three against five.
I'm Gourmet Guy, Chef Nicky,
Editor Nicky, and regular Nicky.
- That's four.
- Oh.
And also Kicky.
all: Who?
Ow!
- I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
- Step away from the laptop.
- All of you.
- Oh, yeah?
Who's gonna make me?
- Is that a food fight?
This place is picking up.
- It's not fire,
but I'm in.
- Food fight!
- [blowing whistle]
Everybody, stop!
What's wrong with you?
This isn't a fair food fight.
Now it's fair.
Kabobs away.
[all yelling and laughing]
- Kids! Kids!
- Ah! Ah!
- Oh, gosh!
[screaming]
- Hey, hey, stop!
Stop!
Ahh!
- Ow.
- Ow!
It totally hurts.
- I thought you wanted
to save the cafe,
not destroy it!
- Sorry, but we found out
Nicky's the Gourmet Guy.
[all gasping]
- And he was gonna post a bad
review about our cafe.
[all gasping]
- Nicky, how could you give us
a bad review?
- [gasps]
Oh, we're done with that?
- I'm sorry.
I just can't lie to my readers.
- We're sorry about all this.
We just really don't want
the cafe to close down.
- Well, we have some news
and we think
you're gonna like it.
- We decided to keep it open.
- Yes!
- You did?
- We saw how much hard work
you guys put into saving it,
and we realized how much
you care about it.
- Plus, our accountant told us
it would be a financial disaster
to close it, so...[chuckles]
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
Is Nicky your accountant, too?
- No.
He is.
- Oh, hi.
- Okay, let's get this cafe
cleaned up
and back open for business.
[all agreeing]
- Uh, is that smoke?
- Well, that's weird.
I preheated the oven,
but I didn't put anything in it.
[all panicking]
- Hey, at least something
got set on fire.
- Run, people!
Forget the dinner rolls,
Grandma!
- Ah!
- Yes!
- [screaming]
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
- Well, the fire definitely
started in the oven.
Found this in there.
- "Suggestion box."
- Oops.
[chuckles]
Guess that wasn't
the best hiding place.
- Good news.
We were also able to save this.
- Ugh.
- Thank you, Fireman Handsome--
I mean, Hanson.
That's what she calls you.
- Just one time.
- So, how much will it cost
to rebuild the cafe?
- Well...
- all: Oh, my.
- ♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na
na na na na na na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪