[upbeat rock music]
- [sighs]
[whistling]
So, what you guys doing?
Playing chess?
- What are you doing?
Stating the obvious?
- Sorry.
I'm just bored.
Mae is so late--she was
supposed to be here, like...
three minutes ago.
- Well, we need quiet.
Yeah, right, quiet.
[mutters]
[whispers] You know I don't
do well when Mae's not around.
- Shh.
I need to concentrate.
I've never beaten Ricky before.
- Ooh, looks like
that's about to change.
- Really?
- Shh.
Your move.
- Ooh.
[mutters]
Eeh.
Zzz....
- Dawn, you can't help him!
- My bad. It's just that this
game could take all "knight,"
even though Nicky's
up-"pawn" victory.
- Knight takes pawn.
Boom!
- Checkmate.
- Wha--
Seriously?
I thought you were helping me.
- I thought I was too.
Well, at least for a moment,
you had hope.
- Which is worse than
losing on my own.
You know, I didn't think losing
could be anymore painful,
but you know what, you did it.
- And normally,
I enjoy beating Nicky,
but you made it so easy, that
you took all the joy out of it.
- Well, at least you guys
are talking to me.
I was kind of bored.
- You always do this, Dawn.
Whenever Mae's not around,
you ruin whatever we're doing.
- Let's go again.
- [sighs]
- Sorry I'm late, Dawn,
but I have huge news.
I just got accepted to
Hawk Crest Academy!
- The boarding school
that wait-listed you?
- Now they're
the boarding school that
un-wait-listed me!
[both shriek]
- I'm so happy for you!
When do you start, next year?
- Next week.
- You mean next week
of next year?
- No, next week of next week!
both: Uh-oh.
- Why aren't you
jumping anymore?
- You really start next week?
- Yeah.
Somebody dropped out,
and I got their spot.
How lucky is that?
- So lucky.
[chuckles] Wow, my BFF gets to
get into her dream school.
Did you hear that, guys?
- We heard.
- Mazel tov.
- To her dream school,
which is in a different city...
[chuckles]
Far, far away.
You know I don't do well
when Mae's not around.
- Neither do we.
- Yeah, I think we both
just got check-"Mae'd."
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na, na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
[cheerful music]
- Wow, so you're
really going away to boarding
school next week?
That's just wow!
- Speaking of wow,
that's the school observatory,
and that's
the equestrian center.
I can learn dressage.
I don't even know what that is,
but I can learn it.
- It's choreographed
horse dancing.
See, now you don't have to
go away to that school.
- [laughs]
You're hilarious, Dawn.
It's gonna be so much fun
when you visit on the weekends.
Plus, we can FaceShack
and SnapBlab.
- Yeah, you know what,
when you really think about it,
nothing's gonna change.
- Everything's gonna change.
Look how crazy Dawn got
when Mae wasn't here
for three minutes.
With Mae gone for good,
our goose is cooked.
- Maybe our goose is fine.
Maybe we're
underestimating Dawn.
Maybe she'll handle it
better than we think.
- Honestly,
getting into Hawk Crest
is a dream come true for me.
- Well, if it's a dream
come true for you,
it's a dream come true for me.
- See?
Our goose is good.
Dawn's taking it in stride.
- Or maybe she's faking it.
- I don't think so.
Whenever Dawn fakes
being okay with something,
her voice gets
all high-pitched.
[computer trills]
- Ooh, it's Amber,
my soon-to-be roommate.
- [high-pitched]
Did you say "roommate"?
- [high-pitched]
Did she just say "roommate"?
- Hi, Amber.
- Hi, Mae.
I can't wait for you
to get to school.
I saw our new room today,
and it has bunk beds!
- Bunk beds?
- [high-pitched] Bunk beds?
- Goose cooking!
- We're fine,
until she drifts into
the high-pitched gibberish.
- Isn't Amber great?
- [pitch heightening]
Yeah, she seems really sweet...
[high-pitched gibberish]
- We need to find Dawn
a new Mae!
[mug shatters]
- [high-pitched gibberish]
- And you a new
"I Heart Sweater Vests" mug.
And a new sweater vest.
♪ ♪
- Thank you for coming
to the rose ceremony,
where we will be determining
which one of you will become
Dawn's new best friend.
- Rose ceremony?
I thought you said
we were just coming here
for free sandwiches.
- Yeah, and I've already got
best friends.
both: Who?
- You guys.
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Forget this--I'm taking
my free sandwich and leaving.
- There are no sandwiches.
- No sandwiches?
- Mm-mm.
- Then I'm taking the rose
and leaving.
- Then we can't have
a rose ceremony!
- No "ceremonay"?
Then I'm taking the "doilay."
- Oh.
- No sandwiches, no doily,
no best friends?
I'm taking the tray.
- Well, that went south fast.
- Tell me about it.
That was Grandma's good tray!
- No, we need to
expand our search
to find Dawn a new best friend.
- Well, looks like
I'll just have to turn on
the ol' Ricky charm.
[clicks tongue]
- This should be fun.
Mm.
[mumbles]
And here comes the dry lips...
- [lips smacking]
- And now the sweaty palm...
- Hi.
[grunts]
- And now the girl leaves.
- [mumbles]
[sighs]
- Hey, how'd that go?
- [high-pitched] Great!
- Really? 'Cause it was like
watching a bad movie
with a terrible, terrible cast.
- Cast.
That's it.
That's how we'll solve
our Dawn problem.
- Genius--we find a girl
with a broken leg,
two legs if we're lucky,
we place her in front of Dawn,
Dawn signs her cast, boom!
BFFs.
- Or...
we say we're making a movie,
and audition girls to be cast
as Dawn's best friend.
- Well, that sounds like
a lot more work, but okay.
[upbeat rock music]
- Tom, I'm worried about Dawn.
- Well, she seems okay.
Her voice isn't doing that
high-pitched thing anymore.
- ♪ She's Mae and I'm Dawn ♪
[plays blues riff]
♪ I miss her bad
and she ain't even gone ♪
♪ ♪
♪ We had good times
I'll always remember ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Now she'll be having them
with her roomie... ♪
"Amber."
♪ ♪
- Got the blues, huh?
- I got 'em bad, Daddy-o.
[continues playing]
- Okay, you wanna
talk about it,
rather than keep singing?
- Not now, Mamma Jamma.
- Okay, we're gonna take five.
Here.
- Oh, wow.
Look, everybody has a roommate
at boarding school.
It's no big deal.
[grunts]
- It's a very big deal.
It's a huge deal.
Now "Amber" gets to be closer
to Mae than I am.
- Honey, you and Mae
will always be close.
- Not in distance, but--
Mamma Jorker!
- I'm gonna miss out on a ton
of new experiences with Mae.
Every first Mae has from now on
will be with "Amber," not me.
"Amber" gets to be
Mae's first roommate,
and I wanted to be
Mae's first roommate.
"Amber"...
- What's more important,
being Mae's first roommate
or being Mae's
first best friend?
- Why can't I be both?
- Honey,
Mae already has a roommate.
- Sorry, sweetie,
I know it's hard to accept,
but sometimes,
we can't have everything.
Aw.
[smooches]
- We love you, kiddo.
[smooches]
- Hold on.
Maybe I can have everything.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[knocks on door]
[playing "When the Saints
Go Marching In"]
♪ Oh, when the Dawn ♪
♪ Comes moving in ♪
♪ Oh, when the Dawn
comes moving in ♪
Hey, roomie, surprise!
♪ ♪
[upbeat rock music]
- Wow, there is a lot of room
in these drawers.
- That's because
I've been emptying them.
- [whistling]
- Because I've been packing?
Because I'm leaving for school
in a few days?
- I know, and we're gonna be
roommates until you go.
This way, we're not only
first best friends,
we're also first roommates.
- Dawn, I really
don't have time for this.
- You're right,
we need to speed things up.
[grunts]
There, all moved in.
Now we have time for
our first roommate pizza party.
What kinda pizza do you want?
- I don't--
- Yeah, you know what,
I'm gonna surprise you.
Hi, I'd like to order
one First Roommate Surprise.
Yeah, it's half first roommate,
half first best friend.
[chuckles]
[whispers]
It's a meat lovers.
♪ ♪
- All right, time to get
the audition started.
- I still don't understand
why you get to be the director.
- Because I'm wearing
the hat and the scarf.
- It's not even your scarf.
It's Dawn's.
- Oh, so you think you can
pull off wearing Dawn's scarf?
- Well, I'm pulling off
wearing her deodorant.
- That's not something you say
to win an argument.
All right,
who's our first audition?
- Ethel.
- Ethel?
Yeah, I don't think so.
Who's after Ethel?
- Thank you for coming.
Please, have a seat.
- You'll be reading
the part of Dawn's new BFF,
and Ricky will be reading
the part of Dawn.
- Why are you handing me this?
- It's the Dawn wig.
Put it on.
- You put it on.
You're already wearing
Dawn's scarf.
- Well, yeah, but
you're wearing her deodorant.
And not enough of it.
- Great, she's gone.
- Diva.
- [scoffs] I know, right?
- I was talking about you.
Ready, Marcia?
And action.
- Mae, it's me, Dawn.
What's on your mind?
- I gotta ask,
are we best friends?
Are we not best friends?
Mama...
has to know.
[both sigh]
- Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.
- Thanks for coming in.
- I'm sorry,
I didn't have time to prepare.
I dropped the script
in my pool.
both: Pool?
- It took my butler
forever to dry it.
both: Butler?
- Will you excuse us
for a second?
We're going about this
the wrong way.
Mae is nice, sweet, caring,
the best friend
Dawn could ever ask for.
But have we ever benefited
from their friendship?
- No.
Never!
- Exactly.
So, why don't we find
a new best friend for Dawn,
from whom we can also
reap some benefits?
- Like a pool
and a butler!
- Why stop there?
I'm sure one of these girls
has even more to offer.
Hey, Marcia, can you hang out
for a little while?
We have some more girls to see.
- Who's next?
- Bertha.
- Bertha?
Ethel!
You're back in.
♪ ♪
- Wow, we ate that whole pizza.
What an experience
that will never be topped
by any other experience
with anyone ever!
So, what do you wanna do next?
- I should really
get back to packing.
- Perfect, you pack,
and I'll take care
of the bunk beds.
- Bunk beds?
- Uh, yeah,
they're essential to
the whole first roommate,
best friend experience.
Ooh...
Hi, yeah,
I'd like for you to put aside
one roommate surprise bunk bed.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's half first roommate,
half first best friend.
[chuckles]
[whispers] It's the cheapest
bunk bed you have.
♪ ♪
- Congratulations, ladies,
you are the two final actresses
up for the role
of Dawn's new BFF.
- This is a tough decision
for us.
You both have your strengths.
Marcia,
your fearlessness, effort,
butler, and heated pool
have really set you apart.
- And Danielle,
the camera loves you...
- [giggles]
- And your parents' yacht
and private jet.
- Right now,
it's too close to call.
Do either of you
have anything else
you can bring to the role?
- Say, a trampoline, jet skis?
- Motorcycle with a sidecar
we can both ride in?
- What does any of this
have to do with acting?
- You're out, Marcia!
We don't have time for
difficult actresses!
- What?
- Hit the bricks, sister!
Congrats, Danielle,
you're our new private jet.
- BFF.
♪ ♪
- So, I'll put up
pictures of my cat, Debbie.
- No way.
And I can put up
pictures of my cat, Debbie.
both: Double Debbies!
[screwdriver whirring]
What is that noise?
- Don't mind me!
Yeah, it turns out
even the cheapest bunk beds
are kinda pricy,
so I got some wood out of
the dumpster at Get Sporty,
and I figured I'd DIY it...
[screwdriver whirs]
Dawn It Yourself.
- Who is that?
- Oh, sorry.
Amber, meet Dawn,
Dawn, Amber.
- Hi, nice to--
[whirring]
- Oh, sorry,
looks like I just had
one more righty to tighty.
You were saying?
- I was just saying
it's so nice to--
[whirring]
- Nice to meet you, Hamper.
- Anyway, we have
a big decision to make.
There's a tradition
at Hawk Crest,
where new roommates
choose a unique experience
that only they will share.
It bonds them forever.
- Forever?
- Oh, cool.
What did you have in mind?
I'm down for
whatever you wanna do.
- Great,
'cause I wanna do something
everyone at school
will be talking about:
Skydiving!
- [scoffs] Skydiving?
Please.
Mae's afraid of heights.
- I love it, and
it'll definitely be a first.
- Uh, we should
probably do our first
before that first, though.
We gotta go, Hamhock.
It's time for
bunk bed bonding night.
Ooh!
I call top.
[creaking]
[clatters, crashes]
Hey, look at that.
I can skydive too.
[squealing softly]
- [sighs]
- ♪ Mae kicked me out ♪
♪ I'm feeling so gloomy ♪
♪ As it turns out ♪
♪ I won't be
her first roomy... ♪
[voice modulating]
[plays blues riff]
[cheerful music]
- Okay, there's no script
this time.
We need to improvise a scene
with the actress
who's playing Dawn.
That's her.
- Well, I guess
your Dawn's best friend now.
Are these your manis
or your pedis?
- Hey, Dawn, sorry to...
interrupt, but we wanted you
to meet someone.
- And action.
- Hi, I'm Danielle.
- Oh, hi, I'm Dawn.
Sorry, I'm really not in the
mood to meet anyone right now.
- Oh, you poor thing.
Shh,
everything's gonna be okay.
No, that didn't feel right.
Let me try again.
Maybe I should have an accent.
- I can't believe you guys.
- It's not what you think.
- Yeah.
- So, it's not that you were
afraid I'd ruin your lives
without Mae in town,
so you faked producing a movie
and auditioned girls to play
the part of my new best friend?
- Okay, it's exactly
what you think.
- This may be
your worst plan ever.
- Please, her parents own
a private jet.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Private jet?
Can we skydive out of it?
- I guess.
- [British accent]
'Ello, 'ello, I'm Danielle,
and everything's
going to be jolly good!
- Yes.
Yes, it is, Private Jet.
- Danielle.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- I'm super psyched
we're doing this, Mae!
Can you believe we're gonna
jump out of a plane?
- No, I cannot!
- I mean, are we crazy or what?
- I'm definitely
going with crazy!
- Okay, we're approaching
the drop zone!
The instructor's
in the cockpit,
so I'm just gonna go over
some last-minute
safety instructions for him.
Oops.
I mean, that's good luck!
Make a wish!
- Oh, hey, Mae,
Miles, Hamburger.
So, today's
the big bond day, huh?
- What are you doing here?
- And where did you come from?
- The important thing is,
I got here before Mae jumped!
Oh.
[grunts]
And I found this!
- Yeah, that's mine.
See?
This is what I was for.
- So, any other surprises
I should know about?
- Surprises?
Psh, no!
But we should probably
move away from the door!
- Why?
- Hey, everybody!
- Seriously, where are
you guys coming from?
- Is he okay?
- Probably.
We should probably
move away from the door.
- Why?
- [British accent]
'Ello, 'ello, I'm Danielle,
Dawn's new best friend.
- New best--
are you replacing me?
- If anybody's
replacing anybody,
it's you replacing me.
It should've been me and you
jumping out of
a plane together.
- Dawn, you and I would've
never done this together.
- Why not?
- Because I'm scared to death!
- Then why are you jumping
with Hammertoe?
- Because I wanted
Hammertoe to like me...
And skydiving actually seemed
less scary than leaving you,
my first best friend.
- Aww.
- Dawn, you and I will
always be firsties, forever.
And I'm sorry.
I was so stressed out
about leaving,
I didn't consider
how hard this would be for you.
- [stammers]
No, I'm sorry.
A real firstie would
never stop her bestie
from taking advantage of
such a great opportunity.
I really am happy for you.
- Aww.
- All the hugs
are really sweet,
but someone has to tell me,
where did you guys come from?
- Danielle's dad has a plane,
a nice one, right, Ricky?
- I just wanna say,
I can't wait to do
this movie with you guys.
- Movie?
- What movie?
- Yeah,
since Dawn's gonna be okay,
we no longer need
the role of new best friend.
- I'm out of the movie?
- Sorry, that's show biz, kid.
- That's okay, I'm rich!
- What--we can still use your
parents' private jet, right?
- No!
- We're about to leave
the drop zone.
Do you still wanna
jump with me?
- Sorry, but if I were
to ever jump out of a plane,
it would be with Dawn.
- I get it.
We'll figure out
another bonding moment.
See you at school!
- So, since we're up here,
I gotta ask:
Are we jumping
out of this plane?
Are we not jumping
out of this plane?
- I thought you said
you were scared.
- I was, until you got here.
- What about Ricky?
- I flew.
That was the most exhilarating
experience of my life!
Let's all jump, together.
- Let's...
both: Do it!
- Whoo!
- Okay.
- All right,
"I love you guys" on three.
Ready?
One, two, three!
all: I love you guys!
- All right, step number one:
never jump past the drop zone.
Whoops.
♪ ♪
- ♪ There's four holes
in my roof ♪
- [plays blues riffs]
- ♪ And there's
one thing I know ♪
♪ This is gonna cost us ♪
♪ A whole lot of dough ♪
- Even though that was
completely insane,
it was one of the best moments
of my life.
- Of our lives.
- Well, at least nothing
is ever boring
in the Harper house.
- [chuckles]
- And nothing ever will be.
[laughter]
[dog barking]
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪