- ♪
[Squishy barks]
- Ugh!
I did not sleep
a wink last night.
Okay, this is the part
where you ask me why.
[cereal crunching]
I thought you'd never ask.
Okay, well, Ms. Tassinari
gave yet another Glee Club solo
to Brooklyn and not me.
- That's why you didn't sleep?
Wah.
We've all got problems.
Try tossing and turning
all night because you have
the horrible feeling you didn't
ace your science test.
- Not acing a test?
Talk about a wah.
- Hey, it's a slippery slope.
First, you don't ace one,
then another.
Before you know it,
the perfect GPA you've worked so
hard for
is hopping on the turd boat
to fail town!
- Yeah. Just like
all my hard work with Taylie.
Like, I've been
not talking to her for weeks,
and she still
hasn't talked to me.
- I'm confused. Do you
wanna talk to her or not?
- Of course
I wanna talk to her.
That's why
I'm not talking to her.
- Maybe you need
to change your approach.
- Wait, so you're saying
I gotta talk to her?
But I got nothing
to talk about.
[Squishy barks]
- Well,
all your problems pale
in comparison to mine:
the Boulder-dash.
It's the farthest two points
at the school
that any student
has to travel,
and I have to do it between
second and third period.
Ugh. [voice breaks]
It's nearly impossible.
- Dude, are you crying?
- No. It's my Vidalia onions.
If I'm late for cooking class
one more time,
Mr. Wigglesworth
is gonna give me detention.
- Well, maybe
you'd make it on time
if you weren't
lugging all that food
and--I don't know--
a cast-iron skillet.
- [gasps] My baby
is perfectly seasoned!
I shall not cook without her.
- [sighs]
- Kids, what have we told you
about not paying enough
attention to Squishy?
[together]
That when we don't,
he acts out,
and destroys your stuff.
- Exactly.
And I can't even find
the other one.
- Hey, why have you kids
been ignoring Squishy?
Clearly,
he needs his play time.
- Sorry.
We've all been
too busy
with things at school.
- Well, you can't use school
as an excuse
not to take care of your dog.
You have to take your Squishy
responsibilities seriously.
- Found your
other slipper, Tom.
- Oh. Well, at least
he didn't chew that one, huh?
[both chuckle]
[clears throat]
- [sighs]
- But he did
leave something in it.
- [gasps] Squishy!
- Yes! Yes, it is.
- Ew.
- Ugh!
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na, na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
[cheerful music]
- Hey, guys!
Wish me luck.
Ms. Tassinari said
she's gonna be giving out
one more solo
for the Spring Sing.
Maybe it'll be me.
- And maybe I aced my test.
- And maybe I'll think
of something to talk to Taylie
about.
[metal clanging]
- [sighs]
I know that clanging.
- It's the 9:58 Boulder-dash.
- [screaming]
Coming through, people!
Coming through!
Make a hole, people!
I'm on the Boulder-dash!
[school bell rings]
The tardy bell!
Mr. Wigglesworth, no!
[gasps]
- You are tardy! Again!
- I'm sorry, I--
- If you don't have
a legitimate excuse,
it's detention for you!
- I have a legitimate excuse--
- And I don't want to hear
any balderdash
about the Boulder-dash.
Wah.
- Okay, well, I--
[cell phone chimes]
- Mr. Harper,
is there something
more interesting
on your phone
than detention?
- Sorry, my dog
had an accident.
- An accident?
Well, that sounds serious.
- It is serious.
- [gasps] How serious?
- Very serious.
[sniffles] My dad's
been texting me all morning.
That's why I'm tardy!
- [stammers] No tardy.
No tardy.
- [weeping]
[rock music]
- Oh, Nicky!
We just wanted to say
we're so sorry.
- I know.
- [sighs]
- [weakly] I know.
- We hope he gets better soon.
- I know.
[sniffles]
I know.
- Poor Squishy!
- Squishy?
What's wrong with Squishy?
- Oh...
- They don't know.
[whispers] They don't know.
- Well, tell us! Tell us!
- [sighs]
Will you guys excuse me
for one second?
- Of course.
- [sighs]
Oh! [sniffles]
Oh, thank you.
[inhales deeply]
- What's wrong with Squishy?
- [voice breaks] Nothing.
[normal voice]
Absolutely nothing.
- So what's wrong?
- Yeah, did you get detention?
- Nope. None.
Absolutely none.
- Then what's going on?
Tell us!
- All right.
So I was tardy again.
I may have made up
a teeny-tiny little excuse
about Squishy
breaking his leg.
- [gasps]
- And his tail.
- [gasps]
- And his head.
- [gasps]
- And I used
my chopped Vidalia onions
to make it look
like I was crying.
- Wait, Nicky,
how could you do this?
- Actually, I just panicked.
And once the first one
came out,
they all just kept coming out
like a river of lies.
But, oh, the best part is,
no tardy, no detention,
and hugs from girls.
- I can't believe this.
I've heard enough.
- Nicky, you can't just play
on people's sympathies
like that; it's wrong.
- Yeah, and you better hope
the truth doesn't come out
'cause you'll be in detention
for the rest of the year.
- Oh, hey, check it out.
Dicky's finally
talking to Taylie.
Huh. Wonder what
he found to talk about.
- [weeping] And his head.
- [gasps]
- And his tail.
- [gasps]
- And his legs.
He's got four of the cutest
little casts you've ever seen.
Maybe someday...
[sniffles]
[strained]
You can sign them.
[sobbing]
- What did you do? I thought
you said you heard enough!
- Yeah, I did. I heard enough
to know it would work.
The onions were clutch, dude.
- Vidalia never fail ya.
- No! No fist-bumping!
This is Squishy
we're talking about.
- I can't believe you two.
Using a fake story
about our beloved dog
to get what you want?
I, for one, would never
stoop so low.
- Ricky, I've got
some good news for you.
You got a 99 on your test.
Top of the class!
- 99?
[high-pitched] Toot-toot!
- Ooh, tootin'
your own horn, huh?
- No!
That's the toot-toot
of the turd boat
leaving the harbor!
You need to let me
retake this test.
I need my 100.
- Ricky, you know
I only allow retakes
under extreme circumstances.
- My dog!
- Are you kidding me?
- Dawn,
it's a victimless crime.
- And besides,
it's not gonna affect you.
- You say that all the time,
and yet somehow it always does.
- Your actions affect us too,
you know? We have feelings.
- Nice try,
but the Vidalias...
just failed ya.
- [sighs]
You over-onioned, dude.
[rock music]
- And I've decided
who will get
the final solo for our...
♪ Spring Sing ♪
[giggles]
Dawn Harper...
- Yes!
- Was my first choice
until I heard
the awful news about your dog.
- No!
- That is so sad.
And I don't want to put
any extra burden on you.
So I'm giving the solo
to Brooklyn.
- Of course you are.
- As a fellow dog owner,
I know how hard
this must be for you.
And I'm sure it's hard
on your brothers as well.
- It's hitting me now,
but it's really
about to hit them.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- Hey, guys.
We heard about Squishy.
- Yeah.
Everybody's texting about him.
- Is he gonna be okay?
- [sighs] Look.
We know it sounds serious...
- But it's not
as bad as you think.
- It's not?
- Uh...
[both sobbing]
- No, it's much, much worse!
- Did you hear that, everybody?
Poor Squishy
is much, much worse!
- [weeping]
I could use a hug!
[brothers sobbing]
- Look, Ms. Tassinari,
I understand your concerns,
but I can still do the solo.
It's not a burden at all.
- Dawn,
you don't have to be tough.
We've all heard
about poor Squishy.
- Yeah, about that...
It's really not as bad
as you think.
[cell phones chiming]
- [gasps] Oh, no!
Sadie just texted
that Kipper just posted
that Dicky told Taylie that
Squishy is worse
than we thought.
all: Aww...
- Will you excuse me
for one second?
[piano clangs]
Sorry!
Hey guys, remember how
you promised me
that your Squishy lies
wouldn't affect me?
- Yeah, how's that going?
- Not good!
Everybody's
texting what you said
about Squishy being
much worse,
and now Ms. Tassinari
doesn't want
to "burden me"
with a solo.
- Well, yeah, but you
don't get solos anyway.
- I was getting this one!
- Congratulations.
- It's nice to get
some good news
in the middle of
all this Squishy tragedy.
- There is no tragedy!
- Haven't you heard the news?
- [sighs] Listen,
you guys need to stop lying
and come clean to everyone
so that I can get my solo back.
- But, Dawn, I would lose out
on retaking that test.
- Yeah, and I would
miss out on Taylie.
- And I would get detention.
- Okay, okay.
I get it.
You don't
have to tell the truth.
But please,
for me, go back in there
and tell everyone that Squishy
made a miraculous recovery.
- Wait, so you want us to lie
to get out of a lie?
- How low do you want us to go?
- So low that I get my solo.
[rock music]
- Hey, Anne?
I know I told the kids to
pay more attention to Squishy.
Just in case that doesn't
happen, I got him a friend.
[barking]
Oh!
- No! You did not
get another dog, did you?
- No, it's better than a dog.
It's a robot dog.
[Squishy growls,
robot dog whirs]
[rock music]
- Excuse me.
Sorry, I just had to go
take care of a little thing.
So what'd I miss?
- Well, actually,
Sadie and Kipper
brought us
some very exciting news.
Principal Noonan--
- Was so moved by your tragedy--
- That she wants
the Booster Club to hold--
- Hold a fund-raiser
for Squishy.
- Right.
Because she knows--
- How expensive
the vet bills can be.
- I got it. And she'd lo--
- Love to help out.
- Still got it.
Isn't a fun--
- A fund-raiser
a great idea?
- Fund-raiser?
Oh, no, no, no, it's--
it's really not necessary.
In fact, I think
you're all going to hear
some very good
Squishy news soon.
- Oh, well,
that would change things
because I was thinking
it would pull more heartstrings
and raise more money
for Squishy if you--
- You performed a song
in front of the whole school!
- Can't give me one?
- Wait, me perform a song
in front of the whole school?
Like a solo?
- This would've been
such a great chance
for you to stand out.
- But that
doesn't matter anymore!
- It doesn't?
- No, the good news is,
Squishy seems to be
getting better.
- Oh, no, no, no, no!
He's not getting better.
In fact, I was just
saying that to make
you all feel better, but
he's actually getting worse.
It's really bad.
So about my solo...
[weeping]
[voice breaks]
What should I wear?
[cell phone chimes]
- Taylie just texted
that Miles said that Dicky
told Mae that Nicky and Ricky
have big news about Squishy.
- [wailing] Be right back!
- So the truth
about Squishy is--
- [grunts]
- Oh!
- Squishy's worse than ever!
He actually
just came down with...
woofing cough.
- I've never heard of that.
- Yeah, well,
it's very, very rare.
In fact, we're having
a benefit concert
for poor, sick, woofing,
bent, little Squishy,
where I will be performing
my very first solo!
You should all come.
- We definitely will.
For Squishy!
all: For Squishy!
- What?
- Woofing cough?
Is that even a real thing,
or is this all
just a quad thing?
- A--a quad thing?
- What's that?
- Well,
it's a Mae way of saying,
"big, fat lie."
- Pssh!
Why would I big, fat lie?
I mean, it's not like
I made up a disease
just to sing a solo
at a benefit
or my brothers made up
a broken tail
just to get out of detention
or get a hug
or get to retake a test.
- Yeah, those all sound
like quad things.
- [coughing]
Big, fat lies!
- Well, they're not.
Gentlemen.
Hmph!
- Well, well, well.
- How the tables have turned.
- Looks like my shoe
was on the other foot.
- What? That's not
the saying, Dicky.
- What saying? My left shoe
is on my right foot.
- There you are.
[together] Principal Noonan!
- I've been looking for you!
- You have?
- We need to talk
about this benefit
for your dog, right now.
- We do?
- Yes.
The whole thing
just doesn't feel right.
- It doesn't?
- No!
Broken leg, broken head,
broken tail,
and now woofing cough?
- It's a thing.
- I know.
My dog had it.
- It's a thing!
- But something
still just doesn't feel right.
- Why is she
dragging this out so long?
- We cannot have a benefit
without the guest of honor.
You need to bring Squishy
to the school
so you can sing to him.
- Bring him here?
- Exactly.
We'll see you and that
poor little pup here tomorrow.
Dicky, your shoes
are on the wrong feet.
- She knows my name!
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- No one at the benefit
is gonna buy this.
- Looks good to me.
- Says the guy whose shoes
are still on the wrong feet.
- It has to work!
- Hey!
You're playing with Squishy?
- [nervous laugh]
- Yeah!
- Taking our Squishy
responsibilities seriously.
- Like you told us.
- Why are you
wrapping him in gauze?
- We're not.
We found him like this.
And we're unwrapping him.
- Okay, this seems
like a quad thing.
- When did everybody
start saying "a quad thing"?
- Change the subject.
- Right.
Hey, Mom, did you hear
Dawn is singing a solo
in a charity fund-raiser
for school?
- Dawn! A solo?
Honey, that is wonderful!
When is it? Your dad and I
are not missing this.
- You can't come!
I mean, I'd be nervous
if you guys were there.
Plus, it's for a totally
ridiculous charity.
- Really? What charity?
- Uh...
- Squirrels.
- Who are allergic to nuts.
- It's a real problem.
- 'Cause that's what they eat.
[laughs]
- Yeah, this sounds
like a quad thing too.
- When did everyone
start calling our lies
"a quad thing"?
- Forget about that!
Just help me
make this look believable.
- Hey, kids!
I know how busy
you've been lately,
so I got Squishy a friend.
Who's a good girl?
Who's a good girl, huh?
[Squishy growls,
robot whirs]
Now play.
- You guys thinking
what I'm thinking?
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- Squishy's here!
all: Aww.
- Such a brave little fella.
- Oh, no, no!
- Not too close.
- Doctor's orders.
- He's highly contagious.
- Trust me, you do not want
woofing cough!
- Yeah. She got it from him.
- [shrill cough, chuckles]
[barks]
[sheepish laugh]
I've got a touch of it.
[barking]
- [barking]
It really does linger.
Wow, that is some cast!
Can he breathe okay in there?
- Oh, sure. Doc left him
a little breathing hole.
- And a poop slot.
- Will you excuse us,
Principal Noonan?
Little guy needs his rest.
- Yes. Rest is good.
[coughs, barks]
- Can you believe
all these people
are here to support Squishy?
[toy squeaks]
- This is for Squishy.
[toy squeaking]
Seeing him
in that full doggy cast
makes me feel terrible for
thinking it was a quad thing.
Even you wouldn't
take it this far.
- Of course we wouldn't.
Thanks for your support, Mae.
[louder] And thanks
for all of your support!
Now, Squishy needs his rest.
- Yeah, he really does.
- He's been through so much.
- Your love
is really helping him heal!
I don't really believe
they believed us.
- We totally took it too far!
- Maybe we
should've told the truth.
- Ugh.
[toy squeaking]
If we bail now,
you get detention,
you get no re-test,
and you get no Taylie!
So start selling this thing!
[all barking]
[rock music]
- [sighs]
I'm sad we're not with
our little girl right now.
- I know. I feel like
I haven't seen her
in, like, an hour.
- Oh, she's gotta be so nervous.
- Terrified. She's all alone.
- Without us.
I mean, don't you think she
would want us with her?
- Oh, I'm sure she would,
Anne,
but I've been calling for her
and whistling for her.
I even made her
this cute little outfit.
- Who are you talking about?
- Denise.
Who are you talking about?
- Our daughter,
who is singing her
first solo today without us!
- Oh. Right.
Pretty cute, though, huh?
- [sighs] I'm leaving, Tom.
- What? Over this?
This is nowhere near
the worst thing I've ever done!
- For the benefit.
- Oh. Right.
Me too! [laughs]
Let's go, Squish.
I don't wanna lose two dogs
and almost your mother
in one day.
[rock music]
- Thank you.
- You're too kind.
- [blubbering]
- We're monsters!
- Hold it together!
You're an angel.
- We're devils!
- [exhales] Okay.
It's almost showtime.
- Attention, everyone!
As co-chairs of
the student body boosters,
we just wanted to thank you all
for coming out today
and for your generous
donations of love.
[applause]
- Okay. It's almost showtime.
- But before Dawn sings,
let's welcome
some neighborhood children
who have come
to literally
open their piggy banks
all in the name of Squishy.
Kids!
- [exhales]
- Steady, boys.
- We've done some selfish
things before, but this...
- Here you go.
It's my life savings.
- [wheezing]
- This is rock bottom!
- No, it's not.
- This is my best friend.
I call him, Bobby.
I want Squishy to have it.
- [gasps] This is.
- Beautiful.
Let's give it up
for Josephine and Grayson,
Principal Noonan's kids.
- Correction.
[applause]
- Dawn Harper is going to now
sing a song of pure joy.
You're so brave.
- Thank you, everyone.
[sighs]
This goes out to all of you.
And Squishy.
[gentle piano music]
- [whispering] Hi!
- Squishy?
[together] Squishy!
all: Squishy?
- [growling, barking]
[all gasp]
[crowd gasps]
- Denise!
- Well, the good news is,
Squishy is all right.
So hit it, Ms. T!
And a one, and a two,
and a three--
[gasps]
- I knew it was a quad thing!
- She knew
it was a quad thing!
[rock music]
- So, after
a full day of dog washing,
do you think you kids have
finally learned your lesson?
[together] Yes.
- We have.
- We will never again
play on people's sympathies
just to get what we want.
- No more big, fat quad things.
- You don't have to say
"big, fat."
- Just quad things.
- So I guess we're done.
- Not yet!
Khaleesi needs a bath.
- We're gonna need
a bigger sponge.
- [barks]
- Oh!
- Ugh!
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
[whistling]
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪