♪ La-la-la la-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
[blows whistle]
- All right!
Puppet roll call!
Nicky!
- Here!
- Ricky!
- Present!
- Dicky!
- How's it going?
[Dawn]
All right, everyone.
Welcome to the opening day
of puppet season.
Now, I don't know about you,
but I am sick
of coming in second place at the
school talent show every year.
- Me too.
- I hate losing to Pete Tibbals.
Me too.
Just because Pete Tibbals
can fit his whole fist
in his mouth.
How is that a talent?
I mean, anyone can.
[grunts]
Wow.
Tibbals got skills.
I think we all agree,
we hate losing
to Pete Tibbals.
[all]
Tibbals.
But I've got some good news.
His hands grew
over the summer.
And he got braces!
So his hand doesn't fit?
Like stuffing a bowling ball
in a tube sock.
- Yes!
That means we're gonna win!
Not so fast.
Guys, it doesn't matter
who we're up against.
The Pigs
is a second-place show.
That's why, this year,
we should finally do...
Goldilocks and the Three Bears!
But we've been perfecting
The Pigs for three years.
Why would we change now?
This is our year.
I agree, but I think
we should do something fresh
that'll push us over the top.
Guys, I just want us to win.
So do we.
We just have to agree to agree.
But I disagree.
Well, there's your problem.
Look, there's an easy way
to settle this.
All in favor of doing
The Three Little Pigs again?
It's "quad-nanimous."
Uh, it's only "quad-nanimous"
if all four of us agree.
What does it matter?
- It matters 'cause
you're not listening to me.
Every year, I say we should
do something different,
and every year,
you vote against me,
and every year,
we come in second.
What's the point
of even voting?
She's right.
Voting's a waste of time.
Thank you.
All in favor of getting rid
of the vote
and always doing
The Three Little Pigs?
It's settled.
"Boy-jority" rules.
Oh, wait.
What's that I hear?
Is that the second-place train?
[mimics train chugging]
Second-second,
second-second, second-second,
second-second, second-second!
[mimics train whistle]
Lose! Lose!
[Tom gasps]
Is it puppet season already?
Oh!
Old Alice looks better
than ever.
Tom, I know you love "Alice,"
but you have to admit,
she's seen better days.
It's true Alice is a
puppet theater of a certain age,
but she's seen me
through a lot, Anne.
She's the stage upon which
the next generation
of Harper puppeteers
have honed their craft.
She's the very foundation of--
Whoa.
Face it, Tom.
Alice has put on
her last puppet show.
Well, why don't we just
ask the kids?
You love old Alice, right?
- Yeah!
- Absolutely.
- Love her.
- See? The kids understand.
That's because
they haven't seen this.
[boys oohing]
It has twice the space
and a padded floor
so your knees don't get sore.
Oh, nice try, Anne,
but my kids would never replace
old, reliable Alice.
- Yeah, we would.
- Totally.
She's out.
Dawn, you don't want to get rid
of old Alice, right?
It doesn't matter
what puppet theater we use
if we put the same lame,
second-place show in it.
This is so amazing!
So much better
than Alice.
What are we gonna
name her?
This is one heck of a start
to puppet season!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[whistling melody]
♪ ♪
[rhythmic clapping]
♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
[whistling melody]
♪ ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na-na ♪
- ♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- ♪ Na, na-na ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh, hey ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
[sighs]
Listen.
You guys were right.
We should definitely do
The Three Little Pigs again.
But what if we spiced it up a
little and did something crazy,
like, I don't know...
gave the wolf golden locks?
Interesting.
I'm listening.
Then she could--
I'm just spit-balling here--
go into the pigs' house
and sample their food,
furnishings, and bedding.
That could work!
And make the pigs bears.
Let's vote on it.
All in favor of telling Dawn
she's not fooling us
and the only way to win
is sticking with
The Three Little Pigs?
I thought you weren't voting
anymore.
All in favor of reinstating the
vote so we can vote Dawn down?
Sorry, Dawn.
You lose now,
but we're all gonna win later.
Ooh, don't forget,
we're rehearsing
right after school.
And you won't be needing this.
Hmm.
- Hey, Dawn.
- Hey, Mack.
So, listen, I was wondering
if maybe you wanted
to kick the ball around
after school?
I can't.
I actually have practice.
[Dicky]
Look at me! I'm Dawn!
[Ricky]
Little Goldilocks!
Give me the wig!
It's my turn to play
second place.
Nothing.
I have nothing to practice
after school.
I'd love to hang out.
Great.
See you then.
[Nicky]
Goldilocks is the worst!
[as puppet]
Oh, no, you didn't!
Oh, yes, I did!
Hmm!
♪ Na na na na na ♪
♪ Na-na na na na, hey ♪
- [gasps]
Ooh!
I think I see the puppet theater
delivery guy.
You know, Anne...
it's easy to be tempted by
a shiny, new puppet theater.
But you're making a mistake
turning your back on old Alice.
Yeah! They don't make 'em
like they used to.
That's removable.
See? I can't have that happen
up on stage.
You can't have that happen?
I mean the kids.
It would be really embarrassing
for me--them!
I would never hear the end
of it--they!
[sighs]
Call me crazy, but I think
there's something else going on
here.
Fine, Tom!
It's embarrassing.
I see the other parents
pointing.
I hear them whispering,
"Look at her, she's pathetic."
[gasps]
They don't say that about you.
Not about me.
About Alice.
[gasps]
They may say that about you,
but they do not say that
about Alice!
Oh, yes, they do, Tom.
But not this year.
The new puppet theater
is gonna change all that.
I'll show them.
So you're saying you care more
about what other people think
than about my feelings?
[doorbell rings]
I need to answer that, Tom.
You're darn right you do!
I meant the door.
Oh, I guess I have my answer.
[Ricky]
Where have you been?
You've missed
most of rehearsal!
Oh, did I?
Sorry.
Mack and I were hanging out and
I guess I lost track of time.
Well, I hope your fingers
are warm,
'cause we're jumping right in.
Okay, we'll pick it up
with the wolf at the door.
[as puppet] Not by the hairs
of my chinny-chin-chin!
[half-hearted] Huff, puff,
blow your house down.
[blows raspberry]
Oh, well,
good enough for second place.
- See ya.
- Where you going?
Uh, that's all the rehearsal
I need,
so I'm gonna continue
to skip rehearsal every day
to hang out with Mack.
Unless you want
to rehearse something
that actually has a chance
of winning.
Until then,
blow your own house down.
If she keeps this up, we're
no longer the front-runners.
We could lose
to the juggling Branzinos!
You shut your puppet hole!
We will not
get second place again.
And we will not let Dawn
sink this ship.
We need to keep her focused
on what's important: us.
Yeah, we need to get rid
of Dawn's little distraction.
I think it's about time we pay
Mack a little visit.
But we need to be smart
about it.
No one can know it's us.
Hey, eyelashes.
Whoa...whoa...whoa!
Hey.
Awesome puppets.
We're not here to chitchat,
punk.
What are you guys doing?
Don't look at them.
This is between us.
Word on the street is
you have a thing
for interrupting
puppet practice.
What are you talking about?
We're talking about you
making us
have to postpone
puppet practice,
you pretty little
pepper pot!
What's a pepper pot?
Somebody who asks
too many questions!
Dawn was late yesterday...
because of you, pal!
Guys, I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
I told you not
to look at them!
All right, bub,
here's how it's gonna be!
You cancel your plans with Dawn
this afternoon,
or we're gonna cancel you.
This is our year,
and we're not gonna let you,
or your awesome eyelashes,
get in the way of us
winning that talent show!
Look, I don't want
any trouble.
I'll stay away from Dawn.
Glad you see things our way.
Our work here is done,
boys.
Let's roll.
[boys imitating engines revving]
Okay, yeah, I just need
to find the Flugenfleegan
and put it in
the Flechenstichen.
You know what's great theater?
Watching you try
to build a theater.
What? I just need to get
this peg
into this ridiculously
tiny hooollleee.
Ugh!
Come on. Okay.
I-will-not-be-
humiliated--oh!
Ohh!
You know, Anne,
when I built Alice.
there wasn't any shouting
or shoe hammering.
- Hmph!
- Hmm.
It was easy.
Ooh.
Because I built her
for the right reasons.
Not to quiet the whispers
or stop the pointing,
but to give the puppets
a place to shine
and tell their stories.
Tom...
You are this close
to getting Schlugenviel
in your Sloggenbosch.
[both]
And one, and two,
and one, and two--
So I hear three little piggies
popped in
for an impromptu puppet powwow
with a pretty pepper pot.
At least our puppets
didn't spit.
Next time,
stay away from Mack.
We only talked to Mack
because we're never gonna win
first place if you
don't show up to practice.
Well, I'd rather
hang out with Mack
than practice some
dumb old play
that's not gonna win us
first place.
You know what?
Mack's not the problem.
You are, Dawn.
Oh, I'm the problem?
Okay, then fine.
Problem solved.
I quit.
[all]
What?
- Have fun coming in last.
You don't get to tell us
what to do!
Hey, Dad, what's wrong?
Nothing.
Just getting some ice
for my Sloggenbosch.
Whew.
♪ [whistling] ♪
The Branzino Sisters
smell blood.
They think now that Dawn's
off our team, we're weak.
Are we?
Relax,
we're gonna be fine.
Dawn's gonna come
crawling back to us.
Look, here she comes now.
Dawn, let us save you
the trouble
of crawling back to us.
Yes, we'll take you back.
I'm not crawling
back to you.
I was looking for this...
Which goes with this.
[all]
A puppet?
Which goes with this.
[all]
Mack?
My new partner
for my own puppet show.
Show them your puppet,
Mack.
[all]
Mack's puppet?
That's a bear, as in Goldilocks
and the three of them.
No hard feelings
here, guys.
Yeah, like we're afraid
of a sock puppet.
[laughs]
Mack, show 'em
what you got.
This porridge is too hot.
This porridge is too cold.
This one is just right.
Hmm.
How did he do that?
He went to puppet camp.
[gasps]
And it was sleep away.
[all gasp]
Good luck at the talent show.
Hmm.
Two hands?
- Three puppets?
- It's over!
It's not over.
We can still win without Dawn.
Yes we can.
We just gotta get Mack.
We can't get Mack.
Dawn got Mack.
Well, if we get Dawn back,
Mack'll come with her.
We're not getting
either of them.
We just need to find someone
who's better than Dawn.
Oh, I know somebody.
- Who?
- Mack.
I'm out.
♪ Uh, uh, oh
Hey, uh, oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
So tell me why you think
you'd be right
for the role
of the Big Bad Wolf.
[low voice]
Well, I'm big and I'm bad,
and I've been told
I have wolf breath.
Okay.
Let's take it from,
"Not by the hair
of my chinny-chin-chin."
And...puppet.
Then I'll huff
and I'll puff
and I'll blow
your house down!
- [coughs]
- Oh.
She does have wolf breath.
Next.
And I'll huff
and I'll puff
and I'll blow
your house down.
[coughs]
Next!
And I'll huff
and I'll puff
and I'll blow
your house down!
[applause]
- Well done.
- Very nice.
We found our new wolf.
Oh, I told you guys,
I'm just here to pick you up.
But please,
you're perfect.
I'm not even
a student here.
Oh, why don't you guys
use Mack?
I heard him in the hallway.
He is a natural.
He's not a natural!
He went to camp!
Okay, whoa, sorry.
I'll meet you outside.
What are we gonna do?
I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna put a pig on one hand,
a wolf on the on the other,
and go out there and puppet
like no one else can.
Except maybe Mack.
Ricky's getting upset!
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
[sighs]
And...done.
And...miss.
W-w-what part is a miss?
Oh, well, you know,
just basically...this.
Just help me get it
to the car.
Ugh.
Okay.
Yup, yup, yup, yup.
Hon, I don't think
it's gonna--
It's gonna fit!
The door's too small.
Make it wider!
I can't make it wider.
Ugh!
I'll do it myself!
[grunting]
Okay, okay, okay.
Hon, hon, hon, hon, hon,
hey, hey, listen, listen.
What?
Even if you could get it
through the door,
is this what you want
the world to see?
[panting]
No.
It's okay.
Then let's show
those pointers and whisperers
something we can both
be proud of.
No, Tom.
Let's do it for the puppets...
And their stories.
That's my girl.
Oh!
♪ La la la
la la la la la ♪
[playing water-filled glasses]
♪ ♪
I feel so pretty.
We're crushing this!
♪ ♪
[applause]
Let's give it up
for Indra and Oscar.
That was oddly moving.
- Well, well, well, if it isn't
the three little piggies
who are gonna cry,
"Wee, wee, wee,
all the way
to second place."
Clever, but your snappy
wordplay isn't gonna save you
once our puppet fists of fury
hit the stage!
I don't need word play.
I've got Mack.
He is really good.
Yes, we know!
He's good!
- Puppets up next.
Up next, puppets.
- Okay, easy.
[Anne] Ugh.
- Easy.
[Anne] Ugh!
- Easy.
- Ugh! Easy for you.
I could use
a little help.
No, you're doing great.
Easy.
[groaning]
- Easy.
- [groaning]
[Tom]
Easy.
Where is your little golden boy,
anyway?
He's here. He's just doing
his special puppet warm-ups.
Well,
you may have Mack,
but we've got the best wolf
that we've ever had.
Oh really?
Yeah.
He's huffy and puffy,
but in a good way.
What's that supposed to mean?
You know what it means.
I'm only huffy and puffy
because you guys are blowhards!
Up next, The Three Little Pigs
performed by the...
This is interesting...
Harper Triplets.
[all arguing]
Harper Triplets?
You three little pigs!
[all gasp]
I've built my house
of straw.
It's not very sturdy, but
I'll have lots of time to play.
Little Pig! Little Pig!
Let me come in.
[scoffs]
Nice wolf voice.
Not by the hair
of my chinny-chin-chin.
Well then I'll huff...
In a really good wolf voice--
And I'll puff...
Way better
than the previous puffer--
And I'll blow your house down!
You call that puffing?
The previous wolf
was way better.
How would you know,
Goldilocks?
You're not even
in the right fairy tale.
What'evs, pig boy!
Uh, what are they doing?
Making a mockery
of puppet season.
On the upside, everyone
loves the new theater.
This is just like
Goldilocks,
barging into a place
she doesn't belong.
Breaking chairs,
eating porridge,
and filling up the DVR
with the shows
the bears don't want
to watch.
I thought we were pigs.
Pigs, bears, brothers,
doesn't matter!
Living with you
is impossible!
Living with you
is impossible!
Uh...and scene.
Let's give it up
for the puppet stylings
of the Harper Family Players.
[applause]
- Uh--
Up next, Dawn and Mack
with more puppet fun,
and later, Pete Tibbals
will attempt
to stuff a bowling ball
in a tube sock.
[Ricky]
No, your fault!
[Dicky]
You totally embarrassed us!
[Nicky]
I hope you're happy.
[all arguing]
Stop it!
What is this all about?
[all]
She/They started it!
- Dawn, we're up.
[all]
Not now!
Whoa, what has gotten
into you guys?
Yeah, I thought you were
working together.
If we were really
working "together,"
they wouldn't always
vote against me.
We don't always
vote against you.
- I'm with Ricky.
- Me too.
See?
You don't even realize
you're doing it.
But we voted.
It's fair.
It may be fair,
but it's not right.
You know what's not right?
Not getting your way
and bailing on us.
And then replacing us
with Mack.
At least he listens to me.
And he's scary good
at puppets.
Yes, we know he's good.
But it's not about Mack.
You just made us mad.
We were upset because
we knew without you,
we had no chance
of winning.
And I knew I couldn't win
without you either.
I just wanted to be heard.
Well, then maybe we should try
and be better listeners.
All in favor of being
better listeners?
It's quad-nanimous.
Oh, we're so proud of you.
Mwah.
- Truth is, you never had
a shot anyway.
I mean,
look at that kid.
[Mack]
♪ Row row row your boat ♪
- ♪ Gently down the stream ♪
- ♪ Row row row your boat ♪
- ♪ Merrily, merrily... ♪
- ♪ Row row row your boat ♪
- ♪ Merrily, merrily... ♪
- ♪ Life is but a dream ♪
- ♪ Row row row your boat ♪
- ♪ Life is but a dream ♪
Man, that must be
one heck of a camp.
- ♪ ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- [vocalizing]
♪ Yeah ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪