- C'mon, hurry up!
- I'm going as fast as I can.
Hey, what about forks?
- Yes!
Definitely hide the forks!
You can kill a person
with a fork!
- Right!
- Uh, mom...dad?
- What, what is it, Henry?!?
- What-what-what?!?
- I...I just wanna know
what you guys are doin'.
- Well...y'know how
Piper signed up
for that weekend ski trip,
with a bunch of kids
from her class?
- Uh, yeah, sure.
- That's why me and Henry are
havin' a boys weekend together.
- Hey, can you not
call us boys?
- But we are boys.
Baaaad boys!
- Anyway, what's the problem
with Piper's ski trip?
- Well, y'know her friend...
that girl Narlee?
- Uh, yeah.
- Well, Narlee's mom
called to tell us
that the other kids all left
on the ski trip without Piper.
- What?!?
Why?!?
- They didn't want her to go.
- Well, what'd Piper say?
- We haven't told her yet.
- We're trying to hide
everything dangerous first.
- When did we stop being boys?
- Hey!
- Yeah...
- Let's make Henry tell her!
- Ooo, right!
- Uh, no no no no,
there's no way
I'm telling Piper.
- Tell me what?
- Ah!
- Oh god!
- Dear god she has ski poles.
-Okaaay...
why do you all
look so freaked out?
- Freaked out?
- What, me?
- No, it's all good...
- No idea what you're...
- I'm not freaked out.
- [ clears throat ]
- Tell her.
- I'm no...no. No!
- Honey, I really think
it's your place
to tell Piper what
happened with--
- I'll get it.
- Did the doorbell ring?
- I heard no doorbell.
- The doorbell did not ring.
- Oh heyyy.
Sure, I'd love
to go to the ball game.
- Coward!
- Mom?
- Hmm?
- What's up?!?
- Well honey...
Um, see, uhh...
your brother has
something to tell you.
- Uh, hang on...
I just got a video
message from Narlee.
- Ooo, yeah, you,
you should watch that.
- Yeah...I'm gonna.
- Piper, if you're
watching this video,
we're already gone.
- Gone? Why?
- You're probably wondering why.
Well, it's 'cuz
of your bad temper.
Y'know, it's like...
every time something
doesn't go your way,
you freak out and you
yell and scream...
and it's just not fun
to be around.
- She's not wrong.
- Anyway, we don't mean
to hurt your feelings.
It's just that we
don't want you around.
Ski ya later.
- Piper?
Are you okay, honey?
- I just...
I didn't know that
my friends don't like me.
- Piper...
- Careful!
It could be a trick!
- Hey...
- I need to blow my nose.
[ snorting ]
- Okay...Okay...
Here ya go.
- What no...?
- [ blows nose ]
- Ahhh!!!
Ugh...
- Now listen.
Your friends,
they like you.
The only thing
they don't like
is when you get mad
and you start yelling
and having temper tantrums.
- He's right baby.
People hate that.
- Well what do I do?
I can't help how I am
when I get angry.
- Yes, you can.
Look, one of my teachers
made this kid in my class,
Mitch Bilsky, go to Jam Class.
- Ooo, I love making jam.
- Mom! Please.
See, "JAM" stands for
Junior Anger Management.
They can help you learn to
control your angry feelings.
- Really?
- Yeah...
- Hey...where's the switch
for the light above the sink?
- Jasper.
- Not now, okay?
- Sweetie...
you think you
might wanna go?
To Jam class?
- I think I need to go.
[ grinding ]
- D'ahhhhh!!!
My shirt's caught
in the garbage disposal!
- Wh--flip the switch!
Flip the switch!
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then,
an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick.
- Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles...
and fight crime.
- Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it.
- Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot!
- Ha!
- Junior Anger Management.
It's important.
And as we all learned in
last week's Jam class...
getting mad...
stands for what?
Anyone?
Does it stand for...
- Aaahhh!
- Incorrect.
"Mad" stands for...
"My"...
"Attitude"...
is...
"Dangerous."
Now say it with me...
Myyyyy aaaatituuuude
is daaangerouuuussss.
All right.
- Hi. She's here for uh,
Junior Anger Management.
- Class started ten minutes ago.
- Uh, right, sorry.
Um, her name's Piper Hart,
- Hey! Why are those turds
interrupting our Jam class?!?
- Sit down, Naomi.
- I'm too angry to sit!
- Then squeeze your bulb!
- But--
- Squeeze your bulb!
[ air spraying ]
- Breathe it in.
- Good.
Now sit down.
- Sure thing, Mister Kelvin.
- Whoaaa, what just
came out of her neck?
- She's wearing an aroma collar.
- What's that?
It's a collar,
connected to a canister
filled with cactus fluid,
eucalyptus,
ginger, honeysuckle,
and rabbit urine...
which all mix together
and form a special mist.
- Ah..."special mist."
- Yes, and when a person
breathes it in,
he or she instantly
feels a sensation
of calmness and well-being.
- Wow!
And it's safe?
- I don't know--
why is she late?
- We're late 'cuz my dad
just had to take a left turn on
the Swellview Turnpike...
right after I said,
Hey Dad, don't turn left
on the Swellview Turnpike
'cuz if ya do, we're gonna
get stuck in the middle of...
Hiiii, I'm Piper.
- Can I borrow that?
- Well, move over Chicago--
because Swellview
is about to become
"the windier" city.
- Good one, Mary.
Not really.
Bring your pets inside,
and tie your kid
to something heavy,
because a big ol' tornado
is on the way to Swellview,
and it's expected to
cause powerful winds
of up to 95 miles per hour.
So now here's Mary
with what she calls
her tornay-doos,
and tornay-don'ts. Mary?
- Do stay inside.
Don't go outside.
- Awwww yeah.
In other news...
[ Captain Man moaning ]
- Okaaaay...
Girls pulling arms.
Pumpkins being murdered.
- Why are you making them
hack up pumpkins?
- Isn't it obvious?
- No.
- I'm on pep!
P-E-P!
- Pep?
- Yeah! The pumpkin eating plan.
All I eat
are pumpkins now.
Pumpkin juice,
pumpkin smoothies,
pumpkin patties, pumpkin pasta,
pumpkin jerky, pumpkin...
- Hey look! Everybody!
Come look what I made!
- Uh...what is that?
- I call it a "breeze-eer."
You can use it if
there are strong winds.
- Oh, is this about that tornado
that's headed toward Swellview?
- Yah!
See, if the wind grabs you
and lifts you
off the ground,
you can use these controls to
turn yourself, and navagoot.
- Navagoot?
- I think he means navigate.
- Navi-gaaeea-te...
Hey!
Who wants a breeze-eer?
- I'm fine.
- Nobody. Nobody wants that.
- Oooka-vitch d'fobbo
koobleem...
mayim bialik Aziz Ansari...
Dos videcto.
Elos fit!!!
Esdeno! Sva di!
Sva da...
- Hey Henry...
did Piper start
Junior Anger Management?
- Uh, yeah. Me and my dad
dropped her off
there this morning.
- Ha!
- What?
- Ha!
As in, "Ha!
Jam class is stupid."
- No it's not.
- Jam class helps
a lotta angry kids.
- Well, it's not
gonna help Piper.
- Why not?
- Because she's an animal.
- Yeah, and besides,
people never change.
That's why they say
"Angry at five, angry at fifty"
and uh "Once a freak,
always a freak."
- All right!!!
All right!!!
Anyway, I was at Piper's
Jam class this morning
and I bet it does work.
- Well...I tell ya what.
Let go of me.
I bet you that the day
your sister is done
with Jam class...
I can get her to lose her
temper that very same day.
- Nah, I doubt it.
'Cuz they have these
cool aroma collars--
- Blobbity blobbity
'roma collar...
- All right it's a bet!
- Yeah it's a bet!
- Then I'm with team Henry.
- Well, I'm on team Ray.
- Take it away.
- So, what's the bet?
- The bet is...
- When I get Piper
to lose her temper...
you and Charlotte gotta eat
a big ol' bucket
o' raw pumpkin guts.
- So...when you fail
to make Piper lose her temper,
you and Jasper have to eat
a big ol' bucket
o' raw pumpkin guts?
- Yeah!
While wearing swim suits!
- What?
- I was just saying we should
wear swimsuits when we're--
- Just...just be quiet.
So we got a bet?
- We got a bet.
- So just to confirm...
no swim suits?
- Why? Why are you--
- Stop! Just stop talking.
- Uh-huh...yeah,
Piper comes home
from JAM class tonight,
so I'm making her
favorite dinner...
Ooo, I think he's here
with Piper now.
Okay bye.
[ wind blowing outside ]
- Mom!
- Hey.
- Hi Mrs. Hart.
- Hello Mrs. Hart.
- Hiii. I didn't know
you were bringing
friends to dinner.
- Uh well I--
- Friends...and his boss,
from Junk-N-Stuff.
- Mom, you remember Ray.
- Oh sure--
we've met a dozen times.
- Ah...Fourteen.
- Really?
That's right I'm sorry...
- Yeah there's...
- Hey, can I uh...
go up to your room for a sec?
- Why?
- You'll see.
You'll all see.
[ text message rings ]
- Oh!
Oh, it's Piper,
she and your dad
will be here any minute.
I better go butter
the lobster balls!
- Lobster balls?
- Hey!
Okay, before Piper gets here,
let's go over the bet.
- Okay. When Piper gets mad
and loses her temper,
Jasper and I win.
And you two gotta eat a big ol'
nasty bucket o' pumpkin guts.
- Or...when Piper doesn't
get mad and lose her temper,
Henry and I win.
- Yeah! And then you losers
gotta eat a big ol' nasty
bucket o' pumpkin guts.
- Such a child.
- Uhhh...guys...
- Well...hello everyone.
- Dude, we told you:
the swim suit is not
part of the bet.
- Oh I know.
- I'm just uh,
showin' off my new one.
Ehh? Ehh?
- Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
[ wind blowing outside ]
- And look who's back!
It's me and Piper!
- Dad, please don't
make a big deal.
- Hi baby!
Guess what we're having
for dinner tonight!
Lobster balls and fofu!
- Seriously?
- Yeah!
- Wait, what is fofu?
- Well, it tastes
just like tofu.
- But it's made with meat.
- Ohhh. All right.
- Ahhh that sounds pretty good.
- ♪ Ji badowski
Shi bishlnoke... ♪
Schwoz, I want you
to imagine my voice
as you read this.
Okaaaay.
RAY: We're low on pumpkins.
So, I want you to go to
the all-night market
and buy fifty more
large pumpkins.
Your Boss, Ray.
- No way!
I'm not going outside in the
middle of a tornado storm!
Baaaahhhh!
RAY: I don't care if
there's a tornado storm.
- Baaaahhhh!
RAY: Pick up both notes
you threw on the floor.
And then go get the pumpkins.
- Ray...would you like to
try a lobster ball?
- Would I like to?
Oh yeah.
But I'm on a strict
PEP diet, so...
- Oh, you mean
the Pumpkin Eating Plan?
- [ sighs ]
You really get me.
- I like corn.
- Mmmm...this fofu really
does taste like meat.
- Yeah!
But not the good meat.
[ doorbell rings ]
- Hmmm. Doorbell.
I guess someone's at the door.
- Uh, hi.
- Hello.
[ pony snorts ]
- Did someone order a pony?
- A pony?!?
- Wow...I wonder why
there's a pony here.
- Uh, it says here...
"This beautiful pony
is a present for Piper Hart."
- Ahaha!
- A present for Piper?
Gosh, Piper, you must
be so excited and happy.
- I am!
- Okay little girl here's your--
Wait. How old are you?
- I'm eleven.
- Oooooooooo.
- Ooooooo.
- Yeah, sorry kid--
ya gotta be at least 13
to get a free pony.
- But...what?
- That...that jerk
just took my pony away!
- Uh-ohhhh...
I think somebody's
about to get angry.
- Yeah I'm about to get angry!
I've wanted a pony
since I was 3 years old.
Do you understand
what it's like to have...
That's a nice lookin' swim suit.
- It is?
- Oh yeah.
It makes me happy.
I'm gonna have some more fofu.
- I cannot believe this...
making me go
get fifty pumpkins
in the middle
of a tornado storm...
[ grunting ]
Ahhhhh!!!
- Ooo! Henry and Charlotte,
I gotta show you guys
somethin' really cool!
Come on!
- Hhhuhh...
- Uh so...
I have to go get
something from my car...
Outside...Okay.
- AHHHHHH!!!!!
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!!
- Wait...come back.
- Dude, why would you think
we'd care about
seeing your big toe?
- Because it's really unusual.
- So is the rest a'you.
- Wait...where's Ray?
- I dunnoooo.
- They're up to somethin'.
- We better find him.
[ blowing bubble ]
- Ray!
- Oh, hey Henry.
- What are you up to?
Nothin', I'm just--
[ phone rings ]
Schwoz.
Hey Schwoz,
you get my pumpkins?
- Ray!!! Help me!!!
I'm aloft!
- Uh...look,
I gotta go
make a little girl mad.
- But I need
a place to land!
Where are you?!?
- Uh, I'm at Henry's house
and I gotta go!
- Wait!
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna go win a bet,
so that you and Charlotte
have to eat pumpkin guts.
- Dude...
- Hahaha!
Step aside, kid.
Hello everyone!
It's me, Captain Man.
- Wow!
- Look-it!
- Captain Man!
- Ah geez.
- Wow. Captain Man--
what are you doing here,
when there's nothing
for you to do,
and you probably should
be leaving, maybe?
- Yeah, why'd you come here?!?
- Yeah.
- Well, you're the president
of my fan club, aren't ya'?
The Man Fans?
- Yeah, I am!
- Or maybe not.
- What?
Whaddaya mean?
- Uh...I'm sorry,
but to be president
of the Man Fans,
you have to be at least
4 foot, 10 inches tall.
- She is!
- Yeah, I am 4' 10".
- Ha!
Oh, uh...
Sorry, I coughed.
[ coughing ]
- Uh, uhhh...
Yeah, you-you know what?
Actually pfft,
what I meant to say was,
uh, you can't be president
of the Man Fans
if you're 4'10".
Which apparently you are,
so sorry.
- What?!?
- That is so dumb!
- Hey, I don't make the rules.
- Well who does?
- A person.
- This is insane!
- Piper remember your bulb--
sque-squeeze your bulb.
- No! I got elected the
president of the Man Fans,
fair and square!
- Yeah, but that
was probably back
when you were 4'9", so...
- Uh, here, let me squeeze
your bulb for you.
- No!
Everyone get away
from me and my bulb!
- D'AAAYYYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
EYYAAAAAA!!!!
- Okay. I'm really mad...
But I'm not gonna
lose my temper,
because I've learned that if
I do lose my temper, that--
- AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
- Do I smell lobster balls?
- Who is this man?!?
- Ooo! Piper's collar
broke and fell off!
- P-Piper, c'mon now...
there's no reason to lose
your temper or anything.
It's...it's all good--
- No reason?!?
I had a pony that
was repossessed!
I got fired from the Man Fans
because of my height!
And then some insane man
just fell through our roof
and is eating all
our lobster balls!
- But-but...y-you like
Jasper's new swim suit!
- Yeah. remember, you said his
new swim suit makes you happy!
- Well I changed my mind!
- Whoa whoa wait,
what what are you--
[ fabric rips ]
Ahhh!
- D'ah! Gah!
- Ahhhhhh!
The lobster balls!
- Hahahahaha!!!
- I am not okay!!!
Ulch!!!!
- Ehhhhh...I'm okay.
- It's better than fofu.
- No it's not.
- I know.
[ oven bell ]
- Mmm.