[ music ]
[ beeping ]
- Hi! We're here!
- Especially me!
- Oh! Captain Man
and Kid Danger!
I'm so glad to see you!
We're so scared!
- I am Jafoon!
- Well, hi, Jafoon.
I'm Captain Man.
This is my sidekick, Kid Da--
- Can we please
meet Jafoon later?
- Right.
- Ma'am, what's the emergency?!?
- Yeah, tell us what's going on!
- Okay, okay! I was here,
working with Jafoon--
- I'm Jafoon!
- And... and I got a phone call
from some weirdo who said
there was a C-five
disrupter somewhere in my store!
- A C-five disrupter?
- Is that bad?
- Well, on a scale of C-one
to C-ten, it's about a five.
- Wh... What does that mean?
- That it could destroy
this entire store!
[ screams ]
- Kid Danger, call the police!
- On it!
- Ma'am, you and Jafoon
have to get outta here!
- I am Jafoon!
- We know!
- Come on!
- Did you get the police?
- Nah, it went to voice-mail.
- Ah, just hang up!
[ beeping intensifies ]
- Ah, it's so loud!
- Yeah, that's the C-five
disrupter!
- Well, we got to find it
before it blows!
- Kid, we gotta get outta here!
- Wait!
- What are you doing?
That's it! That's the C-five
disrupter!
- Well, how do we turn it off?
- Oh come on!
- We're running out of time!
- Ah! There! Open the window.
I'll throw it into the alley!
- It's stuck!
- Ah! Move, Kid!
- Man, that's a quality window.
- I can't turn it off!
- Let's get out of here!
- Waaaaaaait!
- Whaaaaaaaat?
- I lefffftttt my phoooone
in theeeerrrreee!
- Ohhhhh, maaaaaaan!
- I gotttttaaaaa gooooo
geettttt iiiiiiittt!
- Noooooo!
Juuusssttt buyyyyy
a neeeewwww phooooooone!
- Buuutttt I haaaaven't baaacked
uuuuppp myyyy contaaaaacts!
- D'ahhhhh!
Aaalriight!!! Goooo geeettt
yooouuurrr phoooone!
- Oookaayy
- Yooouuuu reeeaaaalllyy
shooouuuuld hurrrrryyyy!
- IIIII gooottttt iiiiiiiit!
- Greeeaaaaat!
Noowwww huuuuuuuu--
- Kid?
- My phone's okay.
[ glass breaks ]
- Noooooooo!!!
- It all just kind
of happened.
- My dad was
an irresponsible scientist.
- I wanted an after-school job.
- And by accident,
he made me indestructible.
- Ah!
- I went to this crazy store,
and met a pretty interesting guy
- I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good
citizens of Swellview
who call me...
- And he turned out to be...
- You know the name.
- Captain Man!
- That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized
that being a superhero's
a lot to handle alone.
- He wanted some help.
- I needed a sidekick.
- I, Henry Hart...
- Pledge to never ever
ever tell anyone...
- That I'm Captain Man's
secret sidekick.
- It is done.
- Now we blow bubbles.
- And fight crime.
- Feels good.
- Call it.
- Up the tube!
Oh, my boot.
- Ah!
- Aw. This is all my fault.
I mean, if it wasn't for me,
this never would have
happened to Henry.
I caused this.
I'm to blame.
- Yeah.
- Okay... does that hurt?
- Nah, it tickles!
- I know, I do it
to myself sometimes.
- Come on, Schwoz!
You've been examining Henry
for twenty minutes,
will you say something?
- Will you order me
a corned beef sandwich?
- Schwoz!
- What?
- Is Henry gonna be okay?
- I think so.
- Oh thank god.
I'll take tuna salad
on whole wheat.
- Hey...
- What?
- I'm not gonna get anybody
any sandwiches.
- I don't mean to interrupt,
but my butt still hurts.
- What's funny?
- He said "but my butt".
- Now Henry, pull your
knees forward a bit.
- Okay.
- Now try to wiggle
your hips.
- More wiggle.
- More?
- Yeah. Wiggle them
like you're a hula dancer,
trying really hard
to get a hula job.
- Ow! Ow! Ah!
- Well?
- Henry has a dislocated
buttock.
- What?
- Well, how do we fix him?
It... you know, the buttock.
- You, grab his ankles.
Charlotte and I
will grab his wrists.
- Wait, what? That doesn't...
What's going to happen here?
- On two, everyone
yank and shake.
- Yank and shake?
That doesn't sound good at all.
- One, two.
What are you doi--
Ow! Ow! Oh my god!
- Uhhh... Piper?
- I'm busy.
- Yeah. Uhhh...
- Heyyy.
- Oh hi, Piper's cooking dinner.
Is that a new jacket?
- Yeah, I saw it
at Sunderland's and I just--
Piper's cooking dinner?!
- Shhhhh!
- Why is she cooking dinner?
What's going on?
- She wants to get
on that TV show, Junior Chefs,
so she's practicing and
she wants us to eat her food.
- Well, I'm gettin' out of here.
- You can't leave me here...
with her... all by myself!
- Do I need to remind
you what happened
at our anniversary party
two years ago
when Piper made dinner
for everyone?
- Soo... How's everyone
enjoying their dinner?
- Edible.
- So good.
- Wonderful.
- Terrific.
- Uh, Piper, will you run
to the garage and make sure
that I turned off my car?
- Mmm!
- Uh, sure.
- What happened?
- Piper made dinner!
- Piper cooked food?!
And you ate it?
Don't you guys remember
what happened when Piper
made the cake for my tenth
birthday party?
[ gagging ]
- Why would you let
Piper feed us again
after our anniversary
party disaster?
- That was two years ago!
Maybe she's a better cook now!
- Fine, you take that risk.
- You are not leaving
this house!
I'm not going to let you go!
- You're being childish!
- No! I can't do this!
- Almost got it...
- Ahhhhh!
[ crack ]
- Ahh!
Woo. I think it worked.
- Do you feel any pain?
- Nope.
Thanks guys.
You re-located my buttock.
- Hey, I'm sorry
you got hurt, Kid.
- C'mon, it wasn't your fault.
I'm the one who ran
back in the store.
- I know, but...
you're just a kid.
What right do I have
to take you around with me,
and put you in all kinds
of dangerous situations?
- Hey, I wanted this job.
And you need a sidekick.
- I know but...
maybe it's too risky.
- You take the risks.
- I'm indestructible.
- I wish we could make
Henry indestructible.
- Yeah. Too bad the machine
that made me indestructible
was destroyed.
- What are you talking about?
The densitizer
was never destroyed.
- Yes it was, remember?
The accident...
that destroyed the machine?
- Why are you talking
to me like this?
The machine is downstairs!
- Geez, what do you not
understand about this look?
- It means lie!
I wanted you to lie!
Why won't you lie?
- You lied to us?
- Noooooo. Right, Schwoz?
I could show you
the machine right now.
- Ray, the densitizer's
been here the whole time
I've known you?
- Yes, it has.
- Then why can't Henry
be densitized?
- Yeah, why can't I
be indestructible like you?
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.
- You really wanna know why?
- I do.
- 'Cuz I'll show ya.
I'll take you
to the densitizer right now.
I'll show you the machine
that changed everything
if that's what you really want.
- That'd be great.
- Okay, let's go.
- 'Kay.
- This is the Room of Storage.
- So, where's the machine
that made you indestructible?
- Right over there.
Schwoz, pull off the tarp.
- Aye.
- This is the trans-molecular
densitizer.
- Ughhh... Can someone
please help me?
- So, this is really the thing
that made you indestructible?
- Yeah. Waaaay back when.
I remember it like
a well-edited video...
- Daddy! Daddy! Whoa! Whoa!
- Raymond!
- Son! Are you alright?
- Yeah! I feel great!
- God, I was a handsome kid.
- Okay, come on!
Let's fire this thing up
and make me indestructible!
- No!
- Hey, I can't get out
of this tarp!
- Why can't we make Henry
indestructible?
- Because it won't work.
- Why not? If it worked on you,
it should work on me.
- That's what my dad thought.
But it didn't.
After that made me
indestructible, my dad
and his team of scientists
tried it on other people.
- And what happened?
- You want to know
what happened?
- Yeah.
- Do you really want to know?
- I do.
- 'Cuz I'll show ya.
I'll take you over there
and I'll show you what--
- Just show us! Just show us!
- Okay, let's go.
- Oww... D'ahhh...
I'm having trouble breathing!
- What is that?
- This is a VHS tape.
It's how humans
used to store videos.
You need to watch this.
- Okay.
Uh, where do I tap?
- I don't even see a screen.
- Ohhhhh, I know-I know...
- Give me that!
Now, after I was made
indestructible as a kid,
my father tried the same
process on three other men.
- So, what happened
to those guys?
- Did they become
indestructible?
- Oh no.
But the machine did change them.
- How?
- You want to know?
- Yeah.
- You really want to know?
'Cuz I'll show you--
- Oh my god!
- Stop that!
- Here's what happened
to Dave Macallan.
[ garbled screams ]
- Who's making that noise?
- Watch.
- Ah geez!
- Turn that off!
- Here's what happened
to John Walker.
- Ah! Ah! Ah!
Why are they feet?
- That's just wrong.
That's just wrong.
- And here's what the machine
did to Glen Livet.
- He looks okay.
- Sure. Until a little arm
comes out of his ear
and pokes him in the eye.
- Oh come on!
- That can't happen.
- Owwwww!!!
D'ohhhh!
Make it stop!
Ow! Ow! Please god,
make it... ow...stop!
- All right. All right.
- Press stop!
- Ah.. Uh...
- Now you see why the densitizer
can never be used again?
- But if it worked on you,
why'd it do such awful things
to those other guys?
- No one knows.
Well, I've got tickets to go see
Loggins and Messina.
Lock the door when you leave.
- Well... too bad.
- Yeah.
Do you know how cool it'd be
if I was indestructible?
- Y'know what? I say you can
be made indestructible.
- How?
- I have a theory.
Come, I tell you out there.
- Cool. Hey Charlotte, let's go!
- No!
- Charlotte--
- I do not wanna see you grow
a face in your belly button!
- Just listen to what
I have to s--
- I can't hear you!
Bloobidy-bloobidy-bloobidy...
bloobidy-bloobidy-bloobidy...
- You see, when Ray went
into the densitizer,
he was a young boy,
just like Henry is a young boy.
- Right, right, and the other
three guys they tried it on,
when it failed, were grownups.
- They were grownups.
Now they're mutant freaks.
- Charlotte come on...
- I'm not gonna sit
beside you in science class if
you have arms comin' out
of your ears tryin' to poke you.
- Listen. I've seen
the security tapes.
Not only was Ray a young boy
when he was densitized...
he was also on a skat-board.
- A skat-board?
- Yeah, you know, a board with
the twirly wheels on the bottom.
- He means skate board.
- Yah, skaeet board.
- Right. He was moving.
- Yeah! So, I think if we
re-create that same motion,
with a boy who's not yet
a grownup, like Henry,
the machine will work on him
the same way it worked on Ray
when he was a boy.
What you think?
- I say we go for it.
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
I go prep the machine!
- Alright. Char, let's go!
- No.
- Come on! If this works,
I'll be the best sidekick
any superhero ever had!
- And if it doesn't work,
you might end up with eyeballs
on your butt.
Have fun in the bathroom!
- Pfft, nah. Schwoz is a genius.
He thinks it'll work.
- Then you go play with Schwoz
I'm not movin' from this chair.
- Man, I gotta start sittin'
on things that don't roll.
- Okay, dinner's ready!
- Oh yay.
- But Henry's not here, we can't
eat dinner without Henry.
Henry's not here.
- I wonder where he is.
- Maybe he got hit by a bus!
Let's all go check
the hospitals!
- No! We're gonna eat
my dinner now.
- Hey, sorry to bother you guys,
but do you have any dog treats?
- Why would we have dog treats?
- And what are you doing
with those dogs anyway?
- Oh, my neighbor's
paying me ten bucks
to walk them every day.
But they seem hungry
so I was wondering if you--whoa!
- Ahhhhhh!!!
- Noooo!
- Wait! No, no, no! Retreat!
- No. Bad! Bad dogs!
- Bad dogs! Sooo bad!
- Hey! Get away from my food!
- Obey me! I'm the alpha male!
- Ooh... I'm so upset
this is happening!
- That is not okay!
- John! Paul! George!
Spock! Outside!
Sorry.
- Well, it's too bad that
your dinner was ruined.
- Yeah, I guess you'll probably
never want to cook again.
- Noooo, we're doing this
again tomorrow night.
I'm cooking dinner, and I want
everyone in this family
at this table, ready to eat
at seven PM sharp.
- I'll be here!
- Okay Henry. Are you ready?
- Yeah.
- Is there any way I can talk
you guys out of this?
- Nope.
- Okay, Henry...
- Now don't forget to say:
"Hey Daddy! Daddy! Whoooaaaaa!"
Hey daddy-daddy-whoa. Got it.
- Okay... Background...
and action!
- Hey Daddy! Daddy!
Whoooaaaaa...
- Henry! You okay?
How do you feel?
- I... I don't know.
I mean, it felt like the inside
of my body was on fire,
but like in a good way, ya know?
- Well, do you think
you're indestructible?
- I don't know. Maybe we
should test--
- Owwwww!
- Did that hurt?!?
- Well, yeah, you cracked me
over the head with a bat!
Hey... hey it stopped hurting.
- Really?! No scratches,
no bump, no throbbing?
- Nope!
- And no side-effects?
- Nope! I'm okay!
- Oh my god,
you're indestructible!
- Yeah, I am! Woooo! You did it!
- Oh... We gotta go tell Ray!
- Oh. No! No!
He's at the moosic show.
- Ooo, I know! We'll come back
to work tomorrow,
and Schwoz'll break another bat
over my head in front of Ray.
- Okay!
- Yah, that's good!
- Hey hey...
- Can I? Just for fun?
- Whack me.
- Heh? Heh?
- Wow!
- Haha! I'm a genius!
- What?
[ alarm beeping ]
- ...all right Swellview,
it's Nojo in the morning.
I'm Nojo, and as always,
sitting next to me is my
co-host, Dangl...
- Hi
And here we go.
First joke of the morning:
What did Jay-Z call his wife
before they got married?
- I don't know, what?
- Fiancee!
- Ha ha... Ah!
- Oh man. This is not goooooood.
[ music ]
[ oven bell ]
- Mmm...