♪♪
(alarm ringing)
Hey. How did it go?
Oh, man,
it was insane.
It was nuts.
Well, tell me.
What happened?
Okay. The news helicopter was
flying around over Swellview,
just going in circles.
Because the helicopter pilot
fell asleep at the controls.
And did you guys figure out
a way to wake him up?
No.
We just watched the helicopter
fly around in circles.
Until it ran out of gas and fell
right down into the Jandy River.
And you guys
didn't do anything?
I got video of it
going down.
What about the pilot?
Was he hurt?
No. Just wet.
So very wet.
(text message alert)
Ugh. Another text
from Jasper.
That's 11 texts
in the last hour.
I got nine.
Man, what's up
with that Jasper kid?
Doesn't he have
any other friends?
Well, yeah, but not the kind
you'd be, you know, proud of.
We're his best friends.
But now because
we work for you,
we end up having to
leave him alone all the time.
I feel really bad
for him.
Yeah.
You guys hungry?
Who wants Greek food?
Ray, we just told you
about a real problem
we have with our friend.
And all you can say
is "Who wants Greek food?"
- Mmmm...
Man,
I love these "jye-rose."
That's how you say it,
you know, "jye-Rose."
You try.
(both)
Jye-Rose.
Perfect.
Hey, so back to our problem
with Jasper.
(groans)
Don't groan.
He's our friend.
Yeah, and it's not cool
how we always have to lie to him
and leave him all alone
when you need us at work.
Okay. Here's an idea.
What?
What you got?
One night soon,
we go to Jasper's house...
Mm-hmm.
We sneak into
his room...
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
And we brain wipe
his memory
so he doesn't remember
either one of you.
What?
No.
Friends don't
wipe friends' brains.
Yeah, yeah.
Pass the lamb balls.
Fine.
Poor lamb.
Anyway,
I got a better idea.
What?
I say that we just tell Jasper
that I'm Kid Danger.
That was charming.
No!
No, no, no, no.
No, sir.
Oh, why not?
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
The worst thing is if Jasper
blabs it all over the place,
and then everyone in the world
knows Henry's Kid Danger,
and then bad guys follow him
and find out he works here,
so then they know
how to find both of us,
so then they could just
blow up this whole place,
and then they could also figure
out where Henry's house is,
which puts him and his whole
family in major danger.
Okay, but other than that?
Nobody is going
to tell Jasper
or anyone else
that Henry's Kid Danger.
Come on, what if I promise
you he'll keep the secret?
You can't guarantee that.
(Charlotte)
All right.
Why don't we just
test Jasper and see?
Yes. Good.
What are you guys
talking about?
We'll make up some
big old juicy secret.
Ugh.
And then if he keeps
that secret for a week,
we know we can trust him.
What do you think?
Okay.
But I get to pick
the fake secret.
Sure.
Done deal, man.
Okay then.
So, what secret do you
want us to tell him?
That you and Henry...
are boyfriend
and girlfriend.
(both)
Ewww!
Hey!
It all just
kind of happened.
My dad was
an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an
afterschool job.
(Captain Man)
And by accident,
he made me indestructible.
Ahhh!
(Henry)
I went to
this crazy store
and met a pretty
interesting guy.
I'm going
to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good
citizens of Swellview.
Who call me...
(Henry)
He turned out to be...
(Captain Man)
You know the name.
Captain Man!
That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized
that being a superhero
is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
(Captain Man)
I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart...
(Captain Man)
Pledge to never ever
ever tell anyone...
That I'm captain Man's
secret sidekick.
(Captain Man)
It is done.
(Henry)
Now we blow bubbles.
(Captain Man)
And fight crime.
(Henry)
Feels good.
Call it.
Up the tubeee!
Oh, my boot.
(Captain Man)
Ha!
Okay. And you say
this happens every morning?
Yeah. I just walk by
and the dog runs up to me,
barking really loud,
and he tries to bite me.
And how does that
make you feel?
Um... Anxious?
Freaked out?
Sometimes pee
runs down my leg.
All right.
Let's try something.
(Boy)
What?
I'm going to pretend to be you.
You pretend to be the dog.
Now, bark at me
like he barks at you.
Okay. Woof, woof, woof.
Woof, woof, woof.
Bad dog.
Bad dog. Bad dog!
All right, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
You spanked me.
That's right.
In life sometimes you got to
just face your fears,
throw them over your lap,
and spank them like
it's your job.
Yeeeah.
Whatever you say.
Good.
I'll need $20.
20? I thought it was going
to be a lot less than 20--
Okay, okay.
Spank you later.
Ah, jeez.
- Piper, are you spanking
your friends for money?
Nah, that kid's
not my friend.
I'm a life coach.
What is a life coach?
(sighs)
When people have problems
in life, they come to me.
I give them good advice.
Then they give me money.
Eh, I don't think
that's a very good idea.
Wow, dad.
That's pretty negative.
Oh.
I didn't mean to be.
What we mean to be
doesn't matter.
It's what we do be.
Ohh.
Hey.
Why do you think I get so
nervous in public restrooms?
Well, there could be
a lot of reasons for...
Hey, what's that
in your hand?
Oh, I bought this
for your mom to protect her
when she's out
at night alone.
See, if a bad person
bothers her,
she just touches
this to him and...
(zapping)
Cool.
Is it deadly?
No, no, no. It doesn't cause
permanent damage.
Oh.
But it's extremely painful.
Ohh.
Okay, who's going to start?
You start.
No, you start.
I don't want to start.
It's my house,
I make the rules.
Well, why'd you ask me
who's going to start
if you knew
you wanted me to start?
Are you serious?
(talking at once)
Hey, guys!
Oh, hey, Jasper.
Hi there, Jasper.
So, why'd you guys
invite me to dinner?
Pfftt.
What do you mean "why"?
(Charlotte)
Friends don't need
a reason
to invite a friend
for dinner, right?
I guess.
Although we do
have a reason.
There is a reason.
(Henry)
But first,
did you see we made
your favorite dinner?
(gasps)
Fish sticks and peas.
Yeah. Sit down.
Uh..
So, we have something that
we kind of want to tell you.
But first,
you have to promise,
you got to swear that you'll
never tell anyone this secret.
No worries.
I can keep a secret.
Can you?
Yeah.
I never told Charlotte you were
the one who killed her goldfish.
What?
You did not
just say that!
You killed Nemo?
We're getting
off track here.
Now, we want tell you
a big secret,
but you got to seriously swear
that you'll never tell anyone.
Ever, ever.
I swear on
Nemo's grave.
Stop mentioning Nemo.
I can't believe
you killed him.
I tickled his back, he had a
stroke, it wasn't my fault!
Charlotte and I are boyfriend
and girlfriend.
You?
She?
You and she?
You and him?
Dahhh!
Aah.
What?
It's true.
You guys are dating?
We are.
We're deep in love.
Wow.
So you guys, like,
kiss and stuff?
Mm-hmm.
We sure do.
We kiss a lot.
Can I see?
Well,
we can't kiss right now.
Why not?
Because Charlotte
has a mouth sore.
Ewww, gross.
Yeah, it's real gross.
Henry, why don't you take me
to the mouth doctor?
Sure, baby.
Wait, it's nighttime.
I think all
the doctors are closed.
Remember, you promised
that you'd never tell anyone
that we're boyfriend
and girlfriend.
Okay, but where are you
going to take Char--
At least I'm not the only one
who gets mouth sores.
Ow.
So, you guys told
Jasper yesterday, huh?
Yep.
We did.
Ha.
I bet he's already blabbed it
to every kid in your school
and if he did,
it meeeans
♪ I was right and
you were wrong ♪
♪ I was right
and you were wrong ♪
♪ I was right and you
were wrong ♪♪
Hey.
That song's
really repetitive.
(both)
Shh.
I wasn't talking.
Hey Jasper.
What are you doing here?
I can't stop thinking about what
you guys told me last night.
(both)
Shh.
(Jasper)
I didn't say anything.
But man, this secret
is hard to keep.
Ahem. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Henry, Charlotte,
I'm going to need you guys
to go down to the basement
and mop the walls.
Since when do we have
to mop the walls?
Since now.
But our friend
Jasper's here and--
Oh hey, no worries.
I'll keep your
little friend company.
I think something is up
with those two.
I don't know anything.
(Ray)
You sure?
They seem like,
I don't know,
like there's something
they're not telling me.
Well, I can't help you.
Oh, well.
Aah.
Oh, dear God.
What is that?
Oh, this?
This is just King Tut's
golden bucket.
It is?
I've read about that bucket.
It's over
3,000 years old.
Is it?
Cool. I'm just going to
sell it for 30 bucks.
Thirty? I could have
30 bucks by tomorrow.
I can sell
my grandmother's wheelchair.
So you'll really
sell it to me?
Uh...
No.
No?
(Ray)
See, here's the thing,
I think you know something
about Henry and Charlotte.
Liiike maybe a secret.
(groans)
Aw, Ray's playing dirty.
We should've made a rule
against bucket temptation.
(Ray)
Yeah, I think Henry
and Charlotte have a secret,
and I think you know
what it is.
And I'm not going to sell
King Tut's golden bucket
to a boy who would
keep secrets from me.
But that's not fair.
Mmm,
life isn't fair, son.
You know what life
often is?
What?
Unfair.
(groans)
Come on, jasp.
Stay strong.
(Ray)
Just tell me
what you know.
And you'll be
walking out of here
with King Tut's golden bucket
right in your sweaty hands.
Can I tell you a secret
about someone else?
No.
My mom steals butter
from restaurants.
Don't care.
Not surprised.
Will you please
sell me the bucket?
Tell me the secret.
(grunting)
You did the right thing
coming to me.
(groans)
Don't make that noise.
So, I have this really,
really big secret.
Big secret.
Okay.
And I promised
two friends of mine
that I would never
tell anyone.
Well, that's the tough thing
about secrets.
You know, keeping them.
I know.
But if I tell
someone the secret,
I will get something
I want so bad.
You got to
keep the secret.
Well, how do I resist
the temptation?
With this.
(zapping)
What's that?
This is a learning tool.
Give me your hand.
Okay, now what?
Tell me the secret.
But I'm not supposed to.
It's okay,
I'm a life coach.
Tell me the secret.
All right.
The secret is that--
(zapping)
Dahhh!
Ahh.
Why?
I'm helping you learn
to keep your secret
by causing you pain
when you try to tell it.
Ohhh.
All right,
I get it.
Good. Now...
Tell me the secret.
But I don't want
to get zapped again.
No, no,
we're done with that.
I just need to know your secret
so I can help you more.
Oh.
Okay, don't tell
anyone this, but--
(zapping)
Aahhh.
You always have
to keep a secret.
Okay, I will!
Good.
Now, give me $20.
Can I borrow
your learning tool?
(text message alert)
Who's that?
Jasper.
He just got off the bus
and he's on his way here.
Ohhh.
You mean our friend who's
kept the secret we told him?
That's the Jasper.
The deal is he's got
to keep your fake secret
for a whole week.
Only two days to go.
"Only two days to go."
(Jasper)
Heeey, guys.
Oh hey.
Come to hang?
Nope.
I'm here to talk
to your boss.
Well, gooood.
I like talking to you.
Uhh. Well, actually,
Ray's really busy
and we got a lot of--
- Hey! Henry, Charlotte, please
go down to the basement
aaand rotate
the light bulbs.
Rotate the light bulbs?
What does that even mean?
It means I want you
to unscrew all the light bulbs
and then screw them
back in again.
Off you go.
Hello.
I know why you're here.
You been thinking
about something.
Dreaming.
Thinking and dreaming.
I want that bucket.
I know you do.
$60.
That's double what you asked.
(sighs)
Okay.
I was very clear.
I know you have a secret.
If you want me
to sell you this bucket,
you better start talking.
Keep the secret, buddy.
Don't break, Jasper.
I will not tell you my secret.
This is a simple
business transaction.
My $60 for
King Tut's bucket.
No deal.
Come ooon!
I'll tell you what.
You can have it for free.
Free?
Just tell me
your little secret.
(groans)
Oh, man, this is intense.
Do we really have to unscrew and
rescrew all these light bulbs?
No, shh.
What's it going to be, boy?
(groans)
Bucket. For. The secret.
(groans)
One sec.
(zapping)
Aah.
(sighs)
I will not
tell you my secret.
Yeah!
Atta boy, Jasper.
(sighs)
Hold on,
I'll be right back.
(elevator dings)
Ohhh, you guys think
you're sooo smart.
No, we think
we're so right.
You're just mad
because we proved
Jasper can keep a secret.
It's not over yet.
(beeping)
One french fry.
Wait, what are you going to do
with that french fry?
This.
Aw, Ray, don't feel bad
just because...
(both)
♪ We were right
and you were wrong ♪
♪ We were right
and you were wrong ♪
♪ We were right
and you were wrong ♪♪
Yeah.
Don't count your Jaspers
before they hatch.
What do you think
he meant by that?
I don't know.
But I think it's
from the Bible.
All right.
I have $100 here.
If you'll--
Stop.
I'll sell it to you
for 10 bucks.
Just $10?
Why'd he drop
the price to 10?
That's too low
for a Tut bucket.
Well, you going
to buy the bucket?
I'm not telling you
my secret.
You don't need to.
Henry and Charlotte just told me
down in the basement.
Really? They told you they're
boyfriend and girlfriend?
- No...
But you just did!
(laughs)
Nooo!
(both)
Dang it!
(Ray)
♪ I was right
and you were wrong ♪
♪ I was right
and you were wrong ♪
♪ I was right
and you were wrong ♪
Will you mute him?
I'm trying!
I deserve this.
(zapping)
Aah!
So...
Why'd you guys break up?
Because he killed
my goldfish.
She has mouth sores.
Well, even though
you guys broke up,
can't I just
see you kiss once?
(both)
Nooo.
Can't stop me
from thinking about it.
(Ding)
Mmm.