♪♪
So, who likes
my special pizza?
Uhh...
I don't think Sushi really works
as a pizza topping.
Turn on the TV! Hurry!
Turn on the TV!
Where's the remote?
There's the remote.
What's going on?
Today, after work, I stopped off
at that massage place...
Rub Me Do?
Yeah.
And on my way out, a news
reporter asked me a question.
- Oh, honey,
I'm so proud of you.
I knew that one day--
Ooh, shut up,
it's on.
- Sir, excuse me!
- Yes?
How do you feel about
Swellview's ban on plastic bag?
Oh. Well,
I personally believe
that some U.S. Americans
out there in Swellview
don't have plastic bags,
and I believe that our education
such as South Africa
and the Iraq,
everywhere, like, such as...
Back to you, Trent.
Such as.
That was me.
Impressive.
Yeah,
nailed it, dad.
Wait, wait, wait.
Shh, shh, shh.
And on a sad note today,
Swellview's very own Captain Man
went from super hero
to super jerko.
What?
Warning, the clip we're about
to show you is disturbing.
Hi, kids.
Both: Wow!
You're Captain Man.
That's right.
Hey, how much
for a cup of lemonade?
A dollar.
(gasps)
(grunts)
(screaming)
What a jerk.
I never thought Captain Man
would do something like that.
Neither did I.
(watch beeping)
Now I have to go.
Where are you going?
Uhh. Such as.
Ooh, here's a good one.
Read it.
"Captain Man, the only
difference between you and a box
of poop is the box."
(distance screaming)
(thud)
(elevator dings)
We're here!
(Henry)
Did you guys
see the news?
Yeah, we saw the news.
Everyone hates me now.
Well, why did you smash
those kids' lemonade stand?
A dollar a cup's
not that much.
I didn't smash their lemonade
stand because of the price.
Then why'd you do it?
Because after the little girl
said, "One dollar,"
I noticed a spider
on the lemonade stand.
A red jabber.
A red jabber?
Those are deadly.
I know!
That's why I smashed it
before it could hurt those kids.
Ohhh.
Well, then I say,
who cares?
So what if everybody
hates you now?
I'm a superhero. I don't want
to be hated by everybody.
Well, you are.
Dah.
What am I going to do?
Why don't you just make
a video apologizing?
Yeah,
that's gooood.
The public loves it when famous
people beg for forgiveness.
No. No.
I did nothing wrong.
I don't care
what people think of me.
I'm Captain Man,
and I care very much
what you, the people,
think of me.
It all just
kind of happened.
My dad was
an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an
afterschool job.
(Captain Man)
And by accident,
he made me indestructible.
Ahhh!
(Henry)
I went to
this crazy store
and met a pretty
interesting guy.
I'm going to
blow your mind.
Now I protect the good
citizens of Swellview.
Who call me...
(Henry)
He turned out to be...
(Captain Man)
You know the name.
Captain Man!
That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized
that being a superhero
is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
(Captain Man)
I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart...
(Captain Man)
Pledge to never ever
ever tell anyone...
That I'm Captain Man's
secret sidekick.
(Captain Man)
It is done.
(Henry)
Now we blow bubbles.
(Captain Man)
And fight crime.
(Henry)
Feels good.
Call it.
Up the tubeee!
Oh, my boot.
(Captain Man)
Ha!
So, most of you have seen
the viral video of me
in which I used a mailbox
to demolish a lemonade stand
run by two small children.
Since then I've read
many of your comments,
very hurtful comments,
some suggesting
that I should
do things to myself,
some of which are
physically impossible.
But that video didn't
tell the real story.
You see, I spotted
a dangerous spider,
and I used that mailbox
to beat the spider to death.
That's the truth.
And if any of you
were upset by the video,
I am truly sorry.
Huh?
That was perfect.
Yeah?
For sure.
(all talking at once)
You nailed it.
Thanks, guys.
Hey, go online and check what
people are saying about me now.
Yeah. Sure.
Internet!
(Ray)
Well?
Henry?
Uh...
This one says,
"Captain Man,
you liar, I hate you."
Well, that's a little negative.
Charlotte?
This one says,
"Oh, please.
The only reason
Captain Man apologized
is to make us
think he's sorry."
Well, yeah.
Gooch, read.
"Yo, Captain Man,
why don't you"...
My religious beliefs prevent me
from reading the rest out loud.
Schwoz?
This guy just posted
a picture of you,
but he changed your head
to something else.
Changed my head?
What did he change it to?
Oohhh!
That's horrible.
(Schwoz)
What is that?
That's poop.
Ohhh.
Ooh, I have an idea.
Okay, what do people want to
know most about Captain Man?
What he wears
under his man suit?
Dude.
What? No.
Schwoz.
They want to know
where I live and work.
Right.
So we have a contest.
We have a contest.
And the winners get
a private tour of the Man cave.
Of the Man cave.
Wait, we can't reveal the secret
location of the Man cave.
We don't have to.
Gooch will meet the winners
somewhere else,
put them in sacks.
And then he can bring them here
and send them down the tubes.
And send them
down the tubes.
Annoying, isn't it?
But everybody hates me.
Why is a tour
of the Man cave
going to make people
like me again?
Because you know how people are.
They get mad about stuff.
But as soon as you give them
something new to talk about...
They forget they were mad
and focus on the new thing.
Okay.
But what kind of contest
to pick the winners?
We put up a website
so people can go online
and try to guess
some big number.
The first three people
who get it right, win.
And I know the perfect url
for the website.
Guessthatnumber.com.
Oh, hey.
That's pretty clever.
Number guessing fever
is taking Swellview by storm
as people all over town
try to win a special
VIP tour of Captain Man
and kid danger's
secret headquarters.
So far two people have
guessed the secret number,
which leaves only
one spot left.
Here's Trent
with more details.
Trent?
Shh, don't bug me.
I'm trying
to guess the number.
Ugh.
♪ It's my decision
I'm taken too far ♪
♪ I think of treasure ♪
♪ And that's what you are ♪
♪ You keep me guessing ♪
♪ I'll never let go ♪
♪ What is the number ♪
♪ I'm dying to know ♪
Got to win.
Come on, brain.
♪ Just give me
one more chance to try ♪
♪ Cause
I'm feeling so lucky ♪
♪ Like I don't even care ♪
♪ Don't need
a million guesses ♪
- Got to keep guessing.
- ♪ And you think
that I can't do it ♪
♪ But you know that I might ♪
♪ I'll get your number ♪
♪ I'll get
your number tonight ♪♪
♪♪
Can't... feel... fingers.
Got to...
(groans)
Stay awake.
I want to meet Captain Man.
I fancy Kid Danger.
(Charlotte)
So then my uncle Rosco
tells my aunt Susan,
"oh, no, baby,
I didn't forget.
Look, I made you
a swimsuit calendar."
Oh, were you talking?
You didn't listen
to one word I said.
Well, sorry.
I'm just really worried
that Jasper's going to
win the contest.
He's not going to
win the contest.
He's been sitting
in his basement
for the last four days
trying to guess the number.
Dude, everyone in Swellview's
trying to guess that number.
Yeah, but if Jasper
does win,
he's going to be down in the Man
cave with me for like an hour.
So?
What if he figures
out that-- shh.
What if he figures out
that I'm Kid Danger?
The odds of Jasper winning are,
like, 50 million to one.
All right.
(Piper)
Yeah, let's keep up
the pace.
Come on, my grandma can type
random numbers faster than that.
Piper, what's going on?
I'm paying these kids
to help me win the contest
so I can go
to Captain Man
and Kid Danger's
secret headquarters.
Uh...
There's almost no chance
any of these kids
are going to guess
the right nu--
I got it!
I guessed the number!
I got it!
I guessed the number!
Yay.
Can I have
my laptop back?
No!
Mine now!
I guess you guys
can go home now.
No, we can't.
Piper took our shoes.
Well, three lucky winners
will soon be VIP guests
in the secret headquarters
of Captain Man and Kid Danger.
(Woman)
You know, it's so great
of Captain Man to do this.
I wasn't done
reading the story.
Oh. Sorry.
Are you?
Because you do this
all the time.
Dah. You hear that?
They love me now.
Boosh.
Yeah, they didn't
even mention
the horrible thing you did
to those kids' lemonade stand.
I know.
Hyah!
And your Facepage
has 4,000 new thumbs upses.
(laughs)
Aw, this whole VIP tour
thing was the perfect idea.
(elevator dings)
We got to
cancel the VIP tour thing.
What?
One of the winners
is my little sister, Piper.
Really?
Who's she going
to bring as her guest?
She gonna bring
your mom?
I don't know
who she's bringing.
Henry's afraid that Piper's
going to recognize him.
Oh, no, she won't.
You're going to be in your
Kid Danger suit and mask.
Well, yeah, but she's going
to be down here
with us for,
like, an hour.
All right,
calm down your pants.
Schwoz can disguise
your face.
Really?
Yeah, I give you
good face disguise.
What about my voice?
Can you disguise
his voice, too?
Easy.
Look.
(clears throat)
(speaking with kid's voice)
Excuse me.
Henry?
Will you help me find my mommy?
Ooh, quit it.
That's so creepy.
Will you buy me a pony?
Aah.
Stop that!
Pleeease?
No!
But it's my dream to see
Captain Man's headquarters.
Please let me
be your guest.
Will you wear whatever
I tell you to wear?
I don't know.
My mom usually
picks my outfits.
Will you wear whatever
I tell you to wear?
I...
You have three seconds
to answer. One...
Wait.
Two...
Yes, I'll wear anything.
I'll wear anything.
Fine.
You can be my guest.
Yes! All right!
Whoo! Yeah!
Ohh.
Uhh, what's going on here?
I'm going to be
Piper's guest
when she goes to Captain Man's
secret headquarters.
Gyahhh!
That's great, man.
Gyaaahhh!
Hey, look who's here.
Whoa.
Wooow.
How do I look?
Completely unrecognizable.
Good.
Wait.
What about his voice?
Oh, yeah.
(beeps)
Now, sing the Little Pea Pod
song.
(sings in a low voice)
♪ I'm a little pea pod
green and flat ♪
♪ Squeeze me in the middle
and squirt out my beans ♪♪
Oh, man,
this is crazy.
Henry, good luck.
- Charlotte, let's go.
- Okay.
- Whoa. Where are you
taking Charlotte?
- To pick up my sister
from the airport.
Your sister who looks
like a horse?
Yeah, that one.
Come on.
It's not nice to say that your
own sister looks like a horse.
Show her a pic.
Oh!
That is one crazy
looking lady.
Her name is Winnie.
For real?
Winnie.
(whinnying)
Hey, if we get
pulled over by a cop,
switch places with me
real quick, okay?
Why?
Because I'm not
legally allowed to drive.
You don't have
a driver's license?
No, I do. I do.
But it says I have
to be wearing my glasses
because I can't see
at night.
You can't see?
No, I can see.
Like, I know
we're in a car.
Can you see
those trash cans?
Eh?
(crashes)
(car honking)
I'll try to warn you
sooner next time.
Yeah, I'd appreciate it.
(Captain Man)
Hey, there.
We got you.
All right.
There you go.
One foot in front
of the other.
Okay, contest winners
and guests.
Drop your sacks.
Welcome to the Man Cave.
Wooow.
I'm Jasper.
Remember me?
Yeah.
Why are you wearing that?
Oh, she made me.
Nice.
Can you step away from me?
Oh, sure.
Of course, you people
all know my sidekick.
Kid Danger!
That's right.
We're really excited
to show you the Man Cave.
What's wrong
with your voice?
And your face?
Uh, he--
I went through puberty.
Now, you two
I've met before, but...
What are your names?
(giggling)
And you?
I'm Dennis.
I collect celebrity socks.
Where's your guest?
I came alone.
This sock belonged
to Jennifer Lawrence.
Wow. That's cool.
That's really cool, man.
Not at all weird.
So, where do you guys
keep your weapons?
Uh...
We're going to
show you those later.
Good.
Heeey!
What you,
what you doing there?
- Ahhh!
- Ooh!
Uhh, guys?
We're about
to start the tour.
This isn't part--
(laughing)
Okay, the rest of you,
this way.
So... How was your flight?
Bad.
They gave me no snacks.
Schwoz,
you bring me a snack?
Yeah, yeah.
Charlotte, there's some sugar
cubes in that bag there.
Uhh. Okay.
Here you go.
Oh!
Oh, her tongue
feels weird on my hand.
Tell me about it.
(whinny laugh)
Okay, Dennis,
your turn.
I'm okay.
Thank you.
Now that you've all had a chance
to break a chair on me,
let's go check out--
Your weapons?
Yeah. Our weapons.
Yes.
Now, these are some of
our best weapons that Kid Danger
and I use
for crime fighting.
What's that hot dog for?
Ah.
Looks like a hot dog,
doesn't it?
We call this
the "covert weiner."
Covert weiner?
Yes.
Kid Danger?
You see, he appears
to be a normal citizen
just enjoying
a hot dog.
Mmm,
what a tasty hot dog.
But watch this.
Kid Danger,
bad guy over there!
Freeze, sucker!
Whoa!
Awesome!
Yeees!
Yes, it's incredibly powerful.
Any one person
could use this weapon
to defeat the entire army
of a small country.
Can I see it?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, nobody move!
He's got the weiner!
Put that
hot dog down, Dennis!
No!
You sick loner!
Don't do it!
Now, anybody tries
to stop me,
this weirdly dressed kid
gets it.
All right, Dennis, just relax.
Everything's fine.
Don't talk to me
in a calming voice!
Just tell me
the fastest way out of here!
All right.
Just step up there and a tube
will come down over you.
And then you just say
"Up the tube."
Up the tube!
You let him get away!
Did I?
Override.
(alarm beeping)
Reverse suckage.
Double power.
Oh!
Up the tube!
No, wait!
Down the tube!
Ugh!
Tube up!
Right tube down!
No, wait, ow!
Get the covert weiner.
Yep.
Nice going, Kid Danger.
Just doing my job, brother.
And now,
triple sequence.
Tube up, tube down, tube up,
tube down, tube up, tube down...
Go.
Please turn off the--ow!
Hey-- ow!
I can't take it-- ow!
Hey, remember when you smashed
that lemonade stand
and everybody was
mad at you?
Yeah.
That seems like
a long time ago.
Right?
(laughing)