(screaming)
(crashing)
(elevator dings)
(groans and exhales)
He's got to fix
that elevator.
Ray.
Ray, you triple beeped me.
What's the emergency?
"Hey Henry.
Put this watch on your wrist."
Sure.
What else would I put it on?
Hiya, Henry.
Oh!
Ray?
Yep.
I'm hovering
over your wrist
in hologram form.
(screaming)
You poked my eye out!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm just kidding.
You can't hurt a hologram
or a Captain Man.
This is so cool.
It's like
we're in the same room.
We are.
Where'd you...
Peek-a-boo.
(screams)
Now, take off
your old wrist band.
Okay. Why am I...
From now on
I'm going to contact you
on your new whiz watch.
So, what do I do
with the old one?
Toss it up in the air.
Why?
It's about
to self-destruct.
Oh.
(beeping)
Hmm, that's weird.
It was supposed to--
(clearing throats)
I see you're wearing
pajama pants.
Yeah.
It's almost midnight.
I was studying
for this huge test
I have tomorrow.
What subject?
Puerto Rican history.
Ah, Puerto Rico.
Land of...
Puerto Ricans?
Right.
(alarm wailing)
Uh-oh.
What's up, Gooch?
There's a robbery
in progress.
Where?
At the 24-hour
antique bottle shop.
Glass From The Past?
Affirmative.
On it.
Shall we?
Let's blow some bubbles
and fight some crime.
Let's hit it, Kid Danger.
Fist.
Up the tube.
(Henry)
Aw, my boot.
(Captain Man)
Yell "up the boot."
Up the boot!
Ow!
Ha!
♪♪
Come on, bro,
open up that cash register.
I'm going as fast
as I can, boss.
Hey, give me that
pretty lavender bottle
'cause it matches
my motorcycle helmet.
Okay, okay.
You better
bubble wrap that, chump.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
That ain't no good
to me busted.
Excuse me.
What the--
Captain Man!
I hope you're planning to pay
for that lavender bottle.
And I hope that, too.
Kid Danger!
Yeah.
I ain't afraid of you.
Try again.
Keep your left arm straight.
Strike three.
That was only two.
Okay, don't correct me
in front of the criminals.
(grunting)
(screams)
Oh no!
You really want to fight us?
Can I just fight the kid?
No, you can't just fight--
Sure he can.
Come on, tough guy.
Okay.
Hey, what are you--
(muffled grunts)
Oh, this smells so bad!
No!
Those are for display only!
Kid Danger,
catch this golf club!
Ow!
You're not helping me!
Captain Man,
where are you?
Follow the sound
of my voice!
Marco!
Polo!
Stop it!
Marco!
Polo!
Stop it!
Marco!
Polo!
Could you superheroes
please just leave?
(groans)
Marco!
Oh no!
Kid Danger. Kid Danger.
Where is he?
Did I get him?
Yeah, you got him.
My whole store
is destroyed.
No need to thank us.
Thank you?
You're welcome.
Let's go, Kid Danger.
No!
Nobody leaves
until you boys clean up
all of this broken glass.
All right.
But I got to be up at 7:00 A.M.
for my test at school.
This will only take us,
like, five hours.
I'll get you a broom.
(woman)
Henry?
Henry.
Henry!
Whoa, what happened?
Did you give me
a wet willy?
Mm-hmm.
It was real wet.
You slept through
your entire test.
I did?
You all see this boy?
This is what happens
when you stay up all night
on Twitflash
and Twiddlegram.
Excuse me, Miss Shapen?
What?
Can I have a wet willy?
It all just kinda happened.
My dad was
an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident,
he made me indestructible.
I went to this crazy store.
I met
a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
And now I protect
the good citizens of Swellview.
You'll call me...
And he turned out to be--
You know the name.
Captain Man!
That's right, Henry.
In time I realized
that being a superhero
is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart...
Pledge to never, ever,
ever tell anyone--
That I'm Captain Man's
secret sidekick.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles--
And fight crime.
Feels good.
♪♪
Call it.
Up the tube!
Aw, my boot.
Ha!
(door opens)
(Jasper) Hey.
(Charlotte) Hey-hey.
What are we watching?
Natural Surgery.
What is Natural Surgery?
They do surgery,
but with no anesthesia.
No pain killers?
None.
See?
That guy's getting
a heart bypass.
(man screaming)
Hey Henry, come
check out this show.
What's in the mug?
Coffee.
To keep myself alive.
No, no, no.
What?
Hey, bring that back.
You're 13.
You can't be drinking
this much coffee after school.
Charlotte.
This mug
is comedically large.
But I need it.
(TV turns off)
What's the matter
with you?
Nothing. I'm just...
I got a lot going on.
Is it your hormones?
Is your body changing, too?
You been having
weird dreams?
I haven't had any dreams
because I'm not getting
any sleep.
I have the same dream
all the time.
It always starts with me
getting a horse
for my birthday,
and then Jasper shows up,
and then the horse
kicks Jasper in the face.
But I end up
being okay, right?
No.
We're home.
Henry,
come help me, please.
Henry,
come help your mother.
What, what, what?
We got everything you need
for you to make your chili balls
for dinner tonight.
Oh, no, no, no.
I cannot make dinner tonight.
We already bought everything.
And it is your night.
Make 'em spicy this time.
Mom, seriously,
I'm, like, so busy,
I don't have time.
Hey, Piper.
Oh, man, Jasper's here?
Piper, be nice.
But Jasper's always here.
It's not okay.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Oh no, Mom.
Jasper's going
to use our bathroom.
We'll be all right.
Hey, everyone.
Hi, honey.
Hey, Mr. Hart.
Charlotte.
Jasper's in the bathroom.
Ah, geez.
And Henry said
he didn't want to make dinner.
What? It's his night.
I'm going to make dinner.
Um, Henry,
before you start...
What's up?
I got a call at work today
from one of your teachers,
Miss Shapen?
Wh--
She called you at work?
That's so rude of her.
Apparently you fell asleep
in class today
and failed your
Puerto Rican history test.
Well...
Do you realize how important
Puerto Rican history is?
Yeah.
I'm sorry
I fell asleep in class.
Well, your teacher says
it's been happening a lot.
Falling asleep in class,
not doing your homework.
I know, it's...
It's just kind of tough
with school
and my new job
at Junk-N-Stuff.
Well, if you can't
keep your grades up,
you're going to have
to quit your job.
I can't quit.
My job's a really big deal.
It's a junk shop.
You sweep the floors.
Miss Shapen said I can
take a makeup test
before school on Friday.
I expect an "A".
You got it.
I'll go upstairs
and study right now.
Hey, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey.
You study after
you make the chili balls.
But--
And make 'em spicy
this time.
Yeah!
Okay.
Chili balls.
Finally.
Ah, ah, ah!
Piper, no computers
at the dinner table.
But this morning
I posted a comment
and my comment
has over 45 comments,
so now I have to comment
on the comments.
I'm about to comment on you.
What?
(watch beeping)
Uh, sorry,
too tired to eat.
Got to go to bed.
More balls for us.
(watch continues beeping)
Henry, why aren't you
on your way here?
Because I got in trouble
for sleeping in class today
and I had to make chili balls.
Chili balls?
It was my night.
Kid, there's been an escape
from Swellview Prison.
I need you.
All right,
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Good.
Run like a bunny.
Okay.
I just got to get
my special gum.
I can do this.
I just...
(shudders)
Wake up. Wake up.
Just got to stand up.
And maybe...
Just...
Run like a bunny.
Run little bunny.
(watch beeping)
(grunts)
Henry!
(knocking)
Henry, open up!
(watch stops beeping)
Ugh, what is that smell?
I'm that smell.
Wh--
Captain Man?
What are you doing here?
Huh?
I called you 90 minutes ago
and I told you
we had an emergency.
Oh, right. I...
I guess I fell asleep.
(mocking)
"I guess I fell asleep."
(sniffs)
Ugh, why do you stink?
I stink because I just
spent the last hour
chasing three criminals
through the Swellview sewer.
You know what's down
in the Swellview sewer?
Poop?
Poop!
(Piper) Henry! Hey!
(banging)
Oh, my sister.
We have a lot
to talk about.
Just get--
Don't you push me.
(screams)
I'm okay!
Who were you talking to
in here?
(scoffs) Nobody.
Mom!
Ah, geez.
What is it, sweetie?
Henry was talking
to someone in his room
and now he says
nobody's in here.
Well, I'm sure if Henry
said nobody was in here, then--
(sniffs)
Ugh! What is that smell?
Uh... it's Piper.
What?
She hasn't had
a bath in a week.
That's a lie.
Okay, come on, baby,
we're going to go
get you a bath.
I don't need a bath! Mom!
(Mrs. Hart)
It's just a bath.
(screams)
Don't sneak up on me
like that.
You disappointed me tonight.
I'm disappointing everybody.
People should just call me
"Kid Disappointment."
All right, well, just tell me
what the problem is.
Time. School.
Working for you. My family.
It's just...
It's a lot to handle.
Well...
I do know a guy who could
get rid of your family.
What?
Kidding. I joke.
I do know a guy.
Oh! I think
I can fix your problem.
Really?
Meet me
at headquarters tomorrow.
I'm there.
Hey.
Who's this?
My mom.
Nice.
She... She still married
to your dad?
Yes.
She ever seem lonely
or bored to you?
Go home, Ray.
The picture, ray.
Yeah, all right.
(bell rings)
All right, class,
everybody take your seats.
Sit down.
Siéntense.
Hey,
have you seen Henry?
Uh-uh.
Dang it, where's Henry Hart?
Jasper?
He's not here.
I can see that.
Uh, Henry's home sick.
You said you didn't know
where he was.
Yes, but we know that Henry
would be in school
unless he was home sick
or else he'll be in trouble.
Oh, right.
Henry has hepatitis.
What's that thing doing?
Scanning your brain.
Oh, cool.
Take a deep breath.
Now, go,
"ooodle, oodle, ooodle."
Ooodle, oodle, ooodle.
No, you're off key.
It's ooodle, ooodle, ooodle.
Ooodle, ooodle, oodle...
Why am I doing this?
Relax, kid.
I can't.
I got a huge
makeup test tomorrow
and I got to study,
and you guys
are making me go,
ooodle, ooodle, ooodle.
Oh, no, it's,
ooodle, ooodle, ooodle.
I don't care!
I don't have time to relax.
Exactly.
Your only problem
is a lack of time.
Imagine if you could do
all your studying for school
in only 30 seconds.
How can I learn anything
in 30 seconds?
With this.
The cerebral data transducer.
Or as we call it,
the H.R.Z.
This device can transfer
knowledge from a data source
directly into your brain.
At 90 million
digibles per second.
Why am I locked in a chair?
Do you want to get a good grade
on your Puerto Rican math test?
History.
Same thing.
Let us begin the procedure.
Yeah, let's do it.
All right.
Now, I'll set the computer
to acquire all the world's
historical knowledge
on Puerto Rico.
Whoa, intense.
But, uh, will this hurt?
Yes, very much.
What?
Power up.
(groans)
(Henry) Sweet!
Wait, so, how will I know--
Whoa, it hurts!
Just enjoy it.
(screaming)
(groaning)
Well?
That hurt bad.
Yes, but tell us
about Puerto Rico.
I don't know anything about--
Puerto Rico is a series
of islands
with a land mass
of 3,500 square miles
and a population
of 3.6 million people.
Its glorious beaches
and lush rainforests
are the perfect setting
for a wedding, bar mitzvah,
or growing bananas.
Oh.
Whoa.
I know Puerto Rico.
Indeed.
You see?
With this you can learn
anything you need
to know for school
in a matter of seconds.
Yeah.
Wait.
You think it's cheating?
Eh...
No, not really.
It's a gray area.
I guess.
Anyway, I really doing this
appreciate you for me.
Uh-oh.
It's the side effects.
What side effects?
You see, after you use
the H.R.Z.,
when you talk, you might mix up
your words for a few days.
Well, you could have
before that you told me.
The important thing
is that now you're going
to do well on your test.
Yeah.
(girl scream)
Why did I just--
That's another side effect.
Sometimes you'll
scream like--
(girl scream)
A girl.
For a few days.
Oh, so I'm a girl like a days
for a few screams. Wait.
(girl scream)
you guys want to get lunch?
Yeah.
What?
And because
the New Hampshirian soldiers
were better equipped,
the Vermont Army
finally surrendered
and fled
the coconut plantations.
Coconuts in Vermont?
I drew a picture of me.
(bell rings)
Okay, everyone, get out.
Out.
Henry, may I see you?
Yeah, sure.
What's up?
Your grade.
100 I makeup test on my got?
I mean...
I got 100 on my makeup test?
You answered
every question perfectly.
Awesome.
(girl scream)
That was inappropriate.
I just got excited.
I'm proud of you, Henry.
I'd give you a hug
if it wouldn't get me fired.
Thanks.
Have a good weekend.
Too you.
100.
Yeah, baby.
Wh, wh, wh, wait.
What?
Where were you yesterday?
You weren't in class.
I go to had somewhere.
One more time?
I had...
to go somewhere.
Nailed it.
(girl scream)
You later see.
(girl scream)
♪♪
(oven bell)
Mmm...