[ music ]
[ Piper and Henry groan ]
- How long are we gonna be stuck in this stupid elevator?!
- I dunno... but while we're here,
we may as well do what everyone does
when they're stuck in elevators.
- Think back about hilarious memories?
- Exactly. - Okay, I'll start.
Remember that time we went to Hawaii
and our family got cursed by the--
[ elevator dings ]
- Huh. Would you look at that.
- Hmm.
- Guess we don't have to spend any time sitting around
remembering things now.
- Good! - Right?
[ Noise from somewhere in the ceiling ]
- What the dust?
- Probably just some mole people.
- Hmm?
- Probably just some mole people.
- Mole people aren't real. - Yeah they are.
They were at our house. - Shut up!
- You don't remember this? They were!
I'm serious...
- Mole people are everywhere!
- You moles gotta get out of here.
- Oh, do we? - Yeah.
- Time to mash up some guacamole!
- Yaaahh!
- Look! Another land loser!
- Alright. Okay. Fine.
You're sleep texting, okay? Right this way.
I love you. Goodbye!
- How did I miss that?
- You were sleep texting.
- What else did I miss?
- When you were sleep texting?
- No! Before I found out you were Kid Danger.
What else did I miss?
- You missed a lot.
- Tell me everything.
- Shall we?
- Let's blow some bubbles and fight some crime!
[ music ]
- Call it. - Up the tubes!
Zoom! Zoom! Zoom!
To the moon! Moon! Moon!
- Tooobowww! - Tooobowww!
- Honey, I'm hoooomeeee
oh man I just ate a lot of frozen yogurt, give me a second.
♪ Good morning to you, good morning to you! ♪
- Nah nah nah nah nah nah.
- Hello, Time Jerker.
- Daahhh!
- Game on, Captain Man.
- Ahhhhhhh!
We're going to space! - I know. It's so fun!
[ laughs ]
- Wwhhaaattt?!
- Yaaahhh!
- Ggggrrrrr! - Aaahhhh!!!!
- Big bite... - Whoo!
[ crowd gasps ]
- It happened again! - Are you just doing this
to get attention? - Yeah.
[ music ]
- Ha-ha yeah! Whoo!
[ lion roars ]
[ music ]
- Wait, no. You better not, no no no.
Owww!
- Ah-choo!
- [ gags ] In my mouth!
I'm trying to drive! - Aahhh!
Muh-lala.
- Ahhhh!
- Everybody keep panicking.
- Oh. Kay!
Ah ah ahh!
Catch me!
- Oh my god! Is that--
- [ burps ] I'm ohhhh-kay!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
- That was a lot.
- I'm honestly surprised I'm still alive.
- I surprised Mom and Dad never found out.
- Well Piper, I am prrrrrretty good at lying...
Can we talk about this later? Please?
Like when I get back from seeing Jasper
in the beat-boxing competition?
- Mmmm, I thought it was a yodeling competition.
- What is that? - It's a timer.
- What are you timing? - Muffins.
- Oh! What is that smell?
- Uh! It's Piper! - What?!
- She hasn't had a bath in a week!
- That's a lie!
- Uh! I can't talk! I'm naked!
Charlotte and I are boyfriend and girlfriend.
- Daaaaa!
- I need to go to the porch, and uh, smell the porch.
Charlotte just pulled off my real arm!
- Did you guys fall asleep?
- Uh, no. No no no no no no no no no no we did not.
There's a ghost inside that vacuum.
I'm just as surprised as you are.
- Oh, I get it. It's a lying thing.
- What'd you buy? - Hmmm?
- What'd you buy? - Makeup.
- Well where is it? - Okay so, I don't have it.
Because I saw an ugly person on the street
and I gave them all my makeup cuz they were so ugly.
- Awwww. - That's our boy.
- You're actually a terrible liar.
- Yeah... still pretty funny, though.
- Hilarious.
[ emergency call alert ]
- Emergency call. - I'm on it.
- Henry! Quick! There's an emergency call.
- We know. - We know.
- Well Dolly pardon me for checking...
- All right man, let's chew and blow.
- And then, we go.
- We've had some pretty good gum rhymes over the years, haven't we?
- Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
We've got a crime to thwart. - At the Swellview airport.
- Whoa! Do you guys, like, plan those rhymes?
- No, they're super organic. - No. No.
- Let's go to space. And kick some ace.
- Then I guess I'll chew some gum and fight some scum.
- Recording.
- Let's get busy, yo. Then watch the video.
- Let's go on a mission to catch a magician.
I actually like that one a lot. - Sort of rhymes.
- Let's blow a bubble and get back into our pants.
- That didn't rhyme. - No time to explain.
Let's chew with urgency. - I don't know the emergency.
- Good one. - Thank you.
PIPER: You guys!
- Hm? - Stop rhyme-membering!
- Why? - Because the emergency call
is coming from Junk-N-Stuff!
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick. - Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.
Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
- It's probably just Jasper.
- Exactly!
We gotta get up there. - Why?
He probably got his head stuck in a lawn chair or something...
- What? - He probably just got his head
stuck in a lawn chair or something.
- I heard what you said, but it just sounds ridiculous.
- Nah nah nah.
- What'd I tell ya? - Wow.
PIPER: Great call.
- Pay up, suckers.
- We never bet. - Heh? Oh. Right.
- Just get me outta this thing!
- Buddy, this is bad even for you.
- But it's not the strangest thing that Jasper's ever done...
- You can say that again.
- I'm Jasper! Remember me? - Yeah.
- If you give me a pine cone, I'll lick my elbow.
Doesn't Ortho have thick hair?
Henry! Look! I got your sock!
[ Jasper and Charlotte scream ]
- Oh, so cute!
- Ahhhh!
Hello, everyone.
Henry, I'm late! Will you take me to the church?
[ screaming ]
- Ah! He globbered me!
Captain Manderpants!
Well did you know I was born with eleven toes
but only nine on my feet?!
[ exhales ]
What? You thought my hair was naturally curly?
- Okay, enough about Jasper doing weird things...
- Yup!
- I wanna hear about more of the stuff you guys did
before I found out you were Captain Man and Kid Danger.
- Well how much time ya got, Piper?
'Cuz there's a lot about us that you don't know.
- Us? - Yeah-- "us."
I've known Henry's secret for years.
- This guy! - You still missed a lot
before you found out. - Like what?
- Well... - Ah...
- I, Henry Hart. - I, Henry Hart.
- Pledge to be an awesome sidekick to Captain Man.
- Whoa.
- Ha ha ha!
- Whoa!
- Oh come on, I had to.
- You got skills.
Yeah, yeah. She's hired.
- Whoa! [ Charlotte giggles ]
- Wake up! Wake up!
- Alright! Alright that's enough!
- Feels good. - Yeah.
- I was young when I started. - Yeah...
- You hired a little kid to be your sidekick.
- Yeah... - That is grossly negligent.
- Yeah...
Any-Ray, turns out you both missed out on a lot.
- You guys missed out on some fun stuff, too.
- Pfft. Unlikely. - Yeah. Okay.
[ Ray laughs ]
- You did! Piper and I spent a lot of time together
before we found out the secret...
- Owww!
You're so bad!
- You got me all wrong, friend.
- No! Ow!!!! - Hi-yah!
- Let me handle this. Mmm.
- I dunno!
[ Jasper screams ]
- Headstone! Headstone! - What's a headstone?
[ car banging into headstone ]
- Aaahhh!
- Da da ahhhhhh!
- Jasper! - Aahh!
- I mean...
- Funny.
- I'll give it to you. - Yeah, you will.
- Don't push it. - Alright.
- I thought it was funny!
- Ah! - What?
- Geez, Schwoz! - Hello.
- Have you been there this whole time?!
- I dunno...
- Great disguise. - Thank you.
I've had some even better ones over the years.
- We all have...
CHILD: Other side.
- I'm not loving the disguise, Ray.
- Lib-it-y-do! Switch-a-row!
- We're about to put your momma in a trash dumpster!
- Oh my god! What happened to your hair?
- This is not okay!!
[ all scream ]
- You can call me Kid Danger.
- We're hoppy to help.
- Nasty red bumpies all over.
I'm a cheer lobster!
- Uh yes, I'm Henry. Henry Hart.
- Hello, Henry. - Ah!
Wienerschnitzel. - Yah, wienerschnitzel.
- Oh my god!
[ crowd gasps ]
HENRY: Wait, wait, you guys...
I forgot I'm supposed to help Charlotte out with a science project!
She's waiting for me at my house!
- Oooh! Is your mom home? - Hm?
- Oooh! Is your mom home?
[ Piper laughs ]
- That "Hm" gets me every time.
- Every time? We do that lot?
- What about my puzzle? - Hm?
- What about my puzzle?
- We're on a liquid cleanse. - Hm?
- We're on a liquid cleanse.
- That's stupid! - Hm?
- That's stupid!
What's important is... tunnels! - Hm?
- Tunnels!
What's your problem, man? - Hm?
- What's your problem, man?
- Can you not do one, dude? - Hm?
- Can you not do one, dude?
- Try going on Rumbler. - Huh?
- Try going on Rumbler.
- She's a slippery biscuit. - Hm?
- A slippery biscuit! - Okay.
- You were right. We do that a lot.
- Ah geez, I got forty-two missed calls from Charlotte...
She's gonna be mad.
[ Scoffs ]
- Charlotte never gets mad.
- Are you kidding me? - What?
- Charlotte! - What?! What?!
What?! What?!
Ahhh! Why?!?!
Dang it!
[ in unison ] - Dang it!
- There's the look. - Awwww!
Say it with me! Never tell a woman to calm down.
- You get it? - Yes I promise!
- That's not helping!
I'll stab your face and bite your throat.
Get outta here, Jasper's head!
And I'm on a five. - Oh come on.
- Chocolate, till... ohhhh!
- Wow. She gets mad a lot.
- She has good reasons. - Can't blame her.
- Yeah well she's mad now, too. Listen...
[ Henry's voicemail from Charlotte ] - WHERE ARE YOU?!
- She's mad. Let's go, s'go, s'go...
[ music ]
- We're here we're here, I'm sorry I'm sorry.
- Where have you been? - At work.
We got distracted. For some reason
we keep remembering funny things today.
- Hey, is your mom here?
- Dude, what is your deal with my mom?
- I don't have a deal with your mom.
- What are you talking about? - You most definitely do.
- Who's this? - My mom.
- Nice. I think we can both agree
that your mom is beautiful. - What?
- Hello, Mrs. Hart. - Hi.
- Why are you here? - To protect your mother.
- And me. - Yeah, sure.
Yes, the spirits definitely want you to keep giving me a hand massage.
- Fascinating!
- She is one fine lookin' lady.
You know, I think you look way too young to be anyone's mother.
- Oh stop.
- Yeah. Stop.
HENRY: Put it back! RAY: Alright, alright.
Okay...
Let's move on.
- Where'd you get that flare? - Hm?
- Hey! Give it. - No.
- Give it!
- Okay, I need someone to film me
doing my science experiment right away.
- Why in Henry's kitchen?
- Yeah, why aren't you in your own kitchen, Charlotte?
- Yeah, Charlotte. - Seriously?
Did you guys light my house on fire?
- Noooo. - No.
- I mean.
- Yeah. - Just the kitchen.
- How can you guys light my kitchen on fire?!
- Did you guys try to put it out?!
- Yes. - Of course we did.
- You know that saying, "fight fire with fire"?
- Yeah, that does not work. - No.
- Oh. Right.
- Now, will someone please film me doing my science experiment
before it's too late.
- Too late for what?
- It's about to explode!
[ Everyone gasps ]
- Someone hurry up and film me completing my experiment
before it explodes!
- Henry, hurry up. - Yeah.
- In three, two, one-- - Hey speaking of explosions...
- Yeah what's up, big dog? - No!
- How many times have we almost gotten blown up?
- Wait, wait, wait...
MAN CAVE ALERT SYSTEM: Man Cave self destruct: activated.
[ laughs ]
- Schwoz!
- Blast me!
Oh, what's that?
- Boom! - Boom!
Aaahhh!
- Attention, this is Jack Frittelman. Run.
- What's in the package?
- I'm about to open it up right now.
- Oh my god!
- What's this chain for? Oooh.
- Hey, Piper, your phone's on the ground.
- Ah! - What is happening?!
- What do you want me to say? - Run!
- Oh no--
- Oooh. - Oh.
- Okay that's enough remembering.
Can we please get back to my science experiment
before it blows up? - Right.
Hey. - Yeah.
- We've really been through a lot together, haven't we?
- Yeah.
- Aw, come on! - Yeah.
- I need help.
And someday, someone's gonna have to take over for me.
- Like me?
- Kid!
What right do I have to take you around with me
and put you in all kind of dangerous situations?
- Hey! I wanted this job and you need a sidekick.
- I know. But, maybe it's too risky.
Stupid cannonball! You killed my friend!
I don't want a hug from you right after I tell you I want a hug!
I only want it to happen 'cuz you wanna hug me.
When it's your idea. Not 'cuz I had to ask for it.
I'm scared to sit by Frankini!
- We've beaten like a thousand bad guys.
- Yeah, well this is different. This is personal.
- Ew, no what are you doing, man?!
- What? You tapped your cheek!
- I didn't want you to kiss it!
I wanted you to punch it!
Where does Henry Hart end, and Kid Danger begin?
Thanks for listening to me.
- Whoa whoa whoa. Wake up! - I'm awake!
- Now? - Yeah okay.
- Ooh. - Oh.
- What happened?
- I pushed you all out here while you were remembering.
- Why?
- Because my science experiment was about to--
[ explosion in the house ]
Blow up. - Ohhhhhhhh.
- Thanks for blowing up my kitchen, Charlotte.
- Yeah, thanks!
- I tried to get you to film it before--
- Hey, Schwoz... - Yeah?
- Charlotte's exploding science experiment just gave me an idea.
- Listening... - Could we go
to an alternate dimension and steal another kitchen for Henry?
- I don't see why not... - Sick, dude.
- Great idea.
- But first... could you find us a dimension
where actors are, I don't know, like trying to pretend to be us...?
- Yeah yeah yeah... but sometimes they mess up their lines?
- Yeah. - Or experience other funny,
unforeseen mishaps? - Like that.
- You mean, like bloopers? - Yes! Yes!
Can you find us a blooper dimension?
- I don't see why not...
- Yes! - Yeah!
♪ The table's set! ♪
♪ Break the baguette! ♪
♪ Let's eat while the soup's still wet. ♪
♪ It's time for lunch! ♪
- Sorry!
- That's not right. That's good.
- I, Henry Hart. - Pledge to never, ever, ever
tell anyone that I am Captain Man's secret sidekick.
- And to never ever reveal that I am secret--duh! Duh!
Hey Jasper! - What?
- Shhhh.
DIRECTOR: And cut!
- Boom!
[ laughs ]
I'm okay!
- Whoa.
[ crew whistling ]
[ all laugh ]
- A classic!
- Emergency call! - Who cares?
- I'd rather sit here and watch bloopers!
- Me, too! - Me, too!
- Yeah, they're hilarious!
- You know, some day, when you guys are cleaning
my swimming pool 'cuz you failed this algebra test
then flunk out of school, eh.
Then flunked out of school. Eh.
- Bubble time. - Oh.
- Oh, I don't think it's gonna work out, Charlotte.
[ Charlotte giggles ]
- And there's lots of real cool celebrities
who say gluten's bad.
And gluten knows everything.
- It's okay.
- I don't wanna wear a-- I don't wanna wear a--
I don't wanna wear this stupid s...
- What's wrong with you, Henry? Do you need medicine?
- What just went wrong? - Ahhh!!
- I think it broke cuz I feel something going down my back!
- No! - Oh my god.
- Quick. Turn down the mic so Ray and Henry can't hah--
- Yaaahhh. - Yaaahh.
- Ya. - Da la la la.
- Nah ha. - Nah ha ha.
- What are you talking about?!
- I'll tell ya what I'm talkin' about!
You've worn that--I'll tell ya what I'm talkin' about--
Your joke making! - No.
- Yeah. It's a funny joke!
- Ow.
- Bring it up here, and I'll be happy to.
I'll be glad to. Ohhh! Ohh!
PRODUCER: You hit him in the mouth.
- You hear that? That's the murmuring
of producers saying "We got it. But let's do it again.
Cuz that'd be hilarious."