-Mm-hmm. -Aah.
Mm.
-So happy with AJ. -Oh, he's perfect.
-Yeah. -Handsome. Hip.
He has fingers like puffy little clouds.
Told you, he's got just the right amount of swing.
He's great stuff.
-He's so cute. -Adorable.
When can you guys lift the ban on me coming to rehearsal,
so I can see what you're planning?
Talk to Gigi.
I am planning on not pressuring AJ.
Yeah, man, we got to keep her focused.
Hey, Davvy has an amazing hair stylist, Paolo,
who she says is really one of a kind.
He is cheap, because he's just starting out,
and here's the kicker: he's straight.
Oh. Straight hairdresser.
Nothing sexier.
Hot guy running his hands through your hair.
Oh! Better than Xanax.
We're gonna have Xanax there, right?
Um, I have some.
On me. You want one?
Yeah, give me half.
You know, Flash was a straight hairdresser once.
all: What?
That's right, 1980, right?
Yeah, my mom worked in this salon.
Got me a job when I was 15.
Sweeping up haircuts.
Taught me how to do blow-dries and stuff.
I was, like, a little 5'2" rock star in this joint.
Till one of her 40-year-old clients banged my brains out.
What?
GIGI: Wait. NOAH: Story please.
♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪
♪ Anonymous ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ ♪
I have a good feeling about this, guys.
These gigs go well, Ave, it could lead to a regular spot.
Maybe even a small tour.
There's a lot of hot cabaret places happening right now--
Chicago, San Francisco, DC, Vegas...
this could be a nice little moneymaker for you.
This is why I was meant to not have kids.
So I could blossom in my 40s and only worry about my career.
Could you imagine if I had two kids at home right now?
-Ooh. -Three if you count Johnny.
That's funny, honey. Where's the help?
I want to have kids.
-Really? -Yeah.
I do. I want to have kids.
I want to have more than one too.
I was an only child. I always wanted a sibling.
-This is thought out. -Yeah, it's very thought out.
I want to have a boy and a girl.
What if you get famous?
If I get famous, then I guess I'll have to pull
an Angelina Jolie and adopt, like, seven kids
from seven different continents.
For that to work, one of them
would have to be a penguin.
That's okay, I love penguins.
And I can name each of them after a day of the week
or a member of Arcade Fire.
Honey, just please let me come to rehearsal.
I'm dying to see what she's doing.
No.
Please? Pretty please?
-Come on. -(sighs)
Fine, but you have to promise
to be nothing but supportive to her.
Honey, I'm gonna be totally pos--Captain Positive.
That's gonna be my new nickname, all right?
-Okay. -All right.
See, we make a great team.
A good father-daughter team.
This is why I didn't adopt.
(playing scales on trumpet)
Hey.
Hey, man, you allowed to be here?
-Gigi cleared me. -And when was that?
This morning. I'm cool.
-Yeah, you better be. -I got Ava throat spray,
cough drops, and some tea, some honey...
-Jim Tedess! -Hey!
-How you doing? -Sup, bruh?
Hey, baby.
-Hey. -Hey.
You that dude I talked to on the phone
about the keyboard hookup?
No, no, no.
Oh, you're the new monitor guy.
No, no, no. You're AJ. I'm--I'm Johnny Rock.
Ava's boyfriend.
Oh, I didn't know she had one.
JOHNNY: Yeah. -Sorry, Ronnie.
Let me go see if I can chase down that--
Johnny. both: Johnny.
Let me see if I can chase down that keyboard cable guy.
-Okay. -Sorry about that.
All right.
See you later.
How the hell does he not know who I am?
Knows who you are now. Ava X's boyfriend.
Better get used to the sound of that.
But she's good, man.
She could get some play out of this.
Very tight. Very sexy.
Yeah, well, let me tell you something.
She gets some play out of this in the press,
I'm gonna get some play too, because a lot of those
music journalists remember who I was.
Listen, kid, you might as well face the facts.
The only way you're getting famous
at this point in your life is if you kill someone famous.
That's funny, Rutt.
-Hey, man. -You AJ?
-No, I'm not AJ. MAN: Sorry.
(both laughing)
(mellow music)
♪ ♪
Oh, my God. Great. Honey, great.
No, that middle eight, I was so flat.
But you know what? You sold the shit out of it.
So I barely even noticed the clams.
AJ, fantastic.
I had a couple clams myself.
But you know what, you made him sound like
Thelonious Monk meets Elton John.
I mean, you really-- you covered yourself.
That's great, honey.
What about my physical performance?
'Cause I feel like I'm standing still a lot.
-Should I be moving more? -Well, you know what?
When you're standing still, it was... riveting.
-I mean, it's-- -Really?
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
-Okay. -Yeah.
Okay, and then but what about when I do move?
Well, you can move, but I think that it's more--
-What? -No, go.
Well, I just think--I think the moving's great too.
So they're-- they're both good?
They're both pretty good, right?
Mm-hmm. They're good. They're both good.
-Thank you, Dad. -Okay.
I think that you can move a little more,
and I have a couple thoughts on that,
but basically, the reason you missed those two notes
is because you didn't breathe before the middle eight.
You got to sell and breathe.
You're already selling it, so just breathe, okay?
Especially if you're gonna do that phrasing.
-It's really good. -Sell and breathe, honey.
-Those are good notes. -Mm-hmm.
-Those are good notes. -Yeah.
So want to do it again?
Babe, Flash, can you tone down the guitar just...
-Yes. -A little bit?
-You're crowding her. -Well...
JOHNNY: Okay. All right.
GIGI: Kay, you guys want to go again? You good?
-Yes. -We're good.
-All right, let's do it. MAN: One, two, three, four!
♪ ♪
(mouthing)
♪ ♪
Hey, I have an idea.
Let's have Ryan Adams do one of those
Taylor Swift-type covers of Father John Misty
doing a Lou Reed cover
of Ava covering Ariana Grande.
That sentence is a musical-credibility
-banana split. -I know, I'm really smart.
You're not doing the photo shoot tomorrow, are you?
Mm-mm. It's a spa day for me, babe.
I'm so hairy right now,
I'm, like, one week away from transitioning.
All right, well, shave and pluck everything,
'cause Lady Gaga called,
and she wants me to have lunch with her tomorrow in Jersey.
She's visiting relatives,
and I said, "You know, I'm dating
literally your biggest fan,"
and she said, "Bring her."
-What do you say? -She said, "Bring her"?
Oh, my God. Yes.
I'll shave my head if you want me to.
Holy shit. I'm gonna have a Gaga orgasm.
All right, keep it between us,
'cause I don't want any tagalongs.
There will not be any tagalongs.
I'm not gonna tell anyone.
I want her all to myself.
All right, it's an hour and a half away,
so we got to leave at 11:00 a. m. sharp tomorrow.
Okay.
Oh, my God, I better start picking an outfit.
Tomorrow at 11:00 a. m. 13 hours.
Yeah, I know, but between the boot choices
and the body wax, there's, like, barely gonna be enough time.
N--
Okay.
(Ex Hex's "Beast" playing)
♪ You were standing on the corner ♪
JOHNNY: Awesome.
Looks great, hon. Amazing.
-No. -Yes, it does.
both: No.
I am not happy with this light.
Why, is it casting a shadow?
No, no, no. No, no, no. (whispers) A little. A little.
Lift up. Okay.
Good. At me.
-That's good. -That's even better, honey.
I love it. Okay, now you look good.
Beautiful. Drop your chin a little.
Uh. Gorgeous.
Oh, my God. Ava X.
Oh. My. Good. Lord.
At. Me. Love it.
Okay, let's change hair and makeup.
Whoa!
-Wow! -Bam Bam!
-Look at you. -Where'd you get that outfit?
Campbell bought it for me.
Oh, and he also wanted me to give you this
when I mentioned your cabaret debut.
Aww, that's so sweet of him.
BAM BAM: He really is the nicest person, you know?
Just caring.
I mean, he's a scary, wild, beast of a man,
but underneath that surface, he's just, you know,
gentle, and spiritual, and collaborative.
Tell him we said thank you for the chocolates.
-Yeah. -You got it, Johnny.
Enjoy those.
Did you also collaborate with an eye doctor?
Oh, these.
No, they're a gift from the man himself,
along with this scarf.
Campbell says the various accoutrements
give me a dash of theatrical authority, you know?
-Okay. -More like a dash of Dame Edna.
Excuse me?
I like the new look, man.
I think you look great.
Thanks. Goes with my new title.
-What new title? -What's your new title?
My new official show credit is...
"Percussion Designed and Composed By."
-Whoa! -Wow, man!
Stop! it! Bam Bam! -That's awesome!
I'm gonna--we have to up your deal.
I'm gonna call Spencer right now,
and we're gonna up your deal.
I like that. I like the sounds of that.
"Up the deal."
What are you looking at, Ansel Adams?
(chuckles)
Oh, sorry.
♪ Nothing comes along ♪
(engine revving)
Do I look okay? I didn't know what to wear.
It's very hard to pick out something to wear
to a New Jersey lunch with Lady Gaga
that doesn't look like a punch line
about what you're supposed to wear
to a New Jersey lunch with Lady Gaga.
You look great.
She's getting married soon, you know?
Well, she should. She's old.
Yeah, she's 30.
Yeah, which, for you, she might as well be 45.
(gasps) Do you think we'll get invited to the wedding?
Oh, my God. What would I wear to that?
Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Jesus, Gigi, you haven't even met the woman yet.
God. When is the wedding?
She probably doesn't want you to say.
That's okay. Respect her wishes.
(rock music)
Listen.
Hey, just come back to the show.
We're working on some really great music,
but we need a couple more songs, and...
I'd really love your input.
Bam, do you know what my new title is around here?
"Long-Suffering Genius That Can't Get Out of His Own Way"?
Nope.
"Boss Photographer."
What I see, I shoot.
What I shoot, I print.
No collaboration.
No artistic interference.
Hey, Bam, if you're looking for somebody
to write some music with Campbell Scott,
I would love to have some of that respectability
rub off on me.
-Johnny. -Yeah?
If you decide to contribute music to this project,
which is a rape of my original vision,
it will be the end of our friendship.
Okay, but I think you're forgetting one important thing.
What?
We're not friends.
He's right.
It'll be the end of our friendship.
-Seriously? -Dead seriously.
Gaga comes from a two-kid family.
Oh, no, I know.
Her sister, Natali, is very cool.
She told me she wants to have three kids, at least.
Dude, if I was banging Taylor Kinney,
I would have three kids right in a row,
and then I would wait till they were teenagers
and retire and just live off the mega-cash they'd make
from their modeling careers.
You and me would have pretty good-looking kids.
Aw, we would. We'd have really cute kids.
They'd be blue-eyed, really tall, really talented,
and really sarcastic musicians.
♪ Dig, dig, dig ♪
♪ Baby, your secret's in the safe ♪
Dude, you should be happy for me.
For what? Huh?
For not standing up for me when I told Campbell Scott
that he wasn't gonna be able to ruin my idea?
This is not trivial to me, man.
I don't care how many titles they bestow upon
your "Pitbull with pituitary gland problem" visage!
I conceived of "An Gorta Mor."
I brought you into "An Gorta Mor."
I created it. I composed "An Gorta Mor."
Those are the only two titles that really matter anyway:
"Created and Composed by Moi!"
Well, I'm not working on a show called "An Gorta Mor."
I'm working on a show entitled "Feast."
Starring Campbell Scott.
Amadan.
That's Gaelic for jackass!
Asshole!
I think it looks hot.
Yeah, but it's--like, up here, it's too much.
I look like a zombie she pimp.
-A hot zombie she pimp. -No. No, no, no.
We need-- the eyes and the lips.
-We got to bring them down. -We got to--guys,
-we got to-- -No.
Bring it down.
Bringing it down.
(car door shuts)
This is it. (sighs)
I'm really nervous.
Does my make up look okay?
I feel like a kabuki dancer, no?
No, you look good. You're acting nuts.
I know. Okay, I've just got to breathe.
All right, so what do we do?
We just walk to the house from here?
Is there a car that comes and picks us up?
Is it a limo?
It's probably a limo, right?
Is it a limo?
What?
What's that look?
You know, I bought three things with my Gaga tour cash
and session bread-- all the other money
that I made over the years;
that sweet little hellcat,
some cool guitars,
and this.
Wait, what?
Nine acres. Bought it four years ago.
Paid in full.
It's all mine.
Or should I say, it's all ours?
Oh, my God.
Are you asking me to marry you?
I guess I am.
-Gigi, would you-- -Oh, God, no.
God--no, no, no. No, no, no.
What are you doing? What are you doing? No!
What? Are you out of your mind?
-Well, I thought you just-- -You thought what?
You thought I wanted to get married?
Well, not married. This is all spur-of-the-moment.
I didn't buy a ring or anything,
but... commitment.
Commitment to what? I'm freaking out here.
You have to tell me what's going on.
Gigi, I want to have kids with you.
Who said I wanted to have kids?
-You did. -When?
Yesterday at the cafe.
Driving here. Tall, sarcastic kids.
Flash, I say stupid shit like that all the time.
I'm 22 goddamn years old.
Do you remember a month ago when I told you
I wanted to move to Miami?
Do you remember my "cupcake cabin in Alaska" idea?
Yeah, I do.
I'm passionate about a million different things.
I'm passionate about Syrian refugees.
I'm passionate about Demi Lovato.
These--these shoes.
This trip is gonna ruin these shoes for me now.
Okay, look, number one, cupcake cabin's a good idea.
-Thank you. -Number two,
you don't want to have kids ever?
I don't know. I don't know, maybe.
But not now. Not while I still am a kid.
God, I'll tell you one thing, though.
No matter what happens, I'm not raising them
in the Middle of Goddamn Nowhere, New Jersey.
This is what I ran away from in Ohio.
What about the Stones pin?
What? What about it?
Come on, the whole thing's goddamn rubies.
I googled rubies. Rubies means commitment.
-You googled rubies? -You bet your ass.
Flash, the pin is lips. It was a joke.
An intimate joke about our kissing thing.
-Oh.
It's a really (...) expensive one too.
(sighs) (...).
Flash.
Get the (...) up!
Now!
Come on, man.
(blows raspberries)
(door handle jiggling)
(sighs)
Okay, go ahead and announce me.
-You ready? -Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, here I go.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage,
making her New York City cabaret debut,
the fabulous Ava X!
Huh?
(chuckles) What do you think?
I mean, this is gonna get the audience's attention, right?
And Debbie Harry, she sure as hell
ain't wearing this on her opening night.
-No. No. -That's for damn sure.
(laughs)
Oh, yeah.
-You hate it. -No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I-I think it's, uh...
-ballsy, you know? -Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a--it's a statement.
Right? Yeah.
So you're cool with me making my debut
looking like a meth head, Oklahoma stripper?
-What do you mean? -Huh?
Do you think I'm insane?
I wouldn't go out like this when I was 25 years old,
-much less now. -Well...
So let's cut the crap
and why don't you tell me what's really going on
because for the past 48 hours, you have been feeding me
sugar-coated, over supportive bullshit.
-That's not true, honey. -Oh, it is true.
It's not true. -Okay, all that noise about AJ?
-How great his playing is. -I think he's a--
My voice. My moves.
-Blah, blah, blah-- -Okay.
-Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, you want--you want me-- do you want me
-to tell you the truth? -Yeah, I do.
Okay, here's what I think.
I do think that your voice sounds great
and I like your stage moves. I'm not crazy about this dress.
Is AJ a great piano player? Yes, he is, but you know what?
I want you to get rid of him,
and I want you to give me a shot, okay?
Everybody in this band has something going on.
Bam has that "Feast" thing,
and--and Rehab has his photography thing,
and the Gibson ads for Flash,
and Gigi's, you know, doing stuff with Davvy,
and you got this thing, and what am I supposed to do?
Hang around the apartment while you guys climb up
the show business ladder? (stammers) I can't do that.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait. -What?
Two weeks ago, you didn't even want me
-putting this gig together... -That's not true.
But now-- No, no, no, no. No.
Now that you actually see that it might be good,
now you want to jump in.
Now you want to be a part of it, is that right?
Yeah, well, you know what? It is right.
And let me tell you why, because when I first met you,
I was the one who told you you could sing,
and you said you wanted to be in show business.
I put you in my band.
I put you on my (...) stage.
Okay, so you (...) owe me.
I'm not gonna (...) sit around here and do nothing.
I was supposed to be the star.
What?
You were the star, Johnny,
but now,
it's my (...) turn.
(door slams)
(sighs)
♪ I can't stand the rain ♪
♪ Against my window ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Bringing back sweet memories ♪
♪ Hey, windowpane ♪
♪ Do you remember ♪
♪ ♪
♪ How sweet it used to be? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ When we was together ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Everything was so grand ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Now that we've parted ♪
♪ There's just one sound ♪
♪ That I just can't stand ♪
♪ Can't stand the rain ♪
♪ Against my window ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Bringing back sweet memories ♪
♪ I can't stand the rain ♪
♪ Against my window ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause he's not here with me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Alone with the pillow ♪
♪ Where his head used to lay ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I know you got some sweet memories ♪
♪ But like a window ♪
♪ You ain't got nothing to say ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I can't stand the rain ♪
♪ Against my window ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause he's not here with me ♪
♪ I can't stand the rain ♪
♪ Against my window ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Bringing back sweet memories ♪
♪ I can't stand the rain ♪
♪ Against my window ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Just keeps on haunting me ♪
♪ Hey, rain ♪
♪ Get off my window ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause he's not here with me ♪
♪ ♪
(cheers and applause)
(typewriter clacking)
(bell dings)