1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:05,437
BOONIE:
Hey, man, I'm telling you, man,
we wasting our time, man.
2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,207
Ain't no way moms gonna
let us in there, man.
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:11,110
She only let them hipster
(bleep) on the list.
4
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,311
We got to try something, man.
5
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:13,946
Niggas is hungry.
Yeah, well,
6
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:16,682
this is me, man. You know
how Ms. Tudi feel about Jesus.
7
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,517
She gonna let us in.
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,285
Hey, Ms. Tudi, I love what
you did with the place
9
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:21,453
and you look wonderful,
by the way.
10
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:22,721
Shut up, Trayvon.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
11
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,023
Oh, out, out, out, out.
12
00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:25,557
No, no, no, no, no.
13
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,326
Ma, I told 'em you
wasn't gonna let us in. They...
14
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,727
That's right, 'cause this
is a private event.
15
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,396
And y'all can't be in here.
16
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,630
Not even me?
17
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:34,366
Jesus, you are already
with us in our hearts.
18
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,035
Look, I love y'all, I do.
19
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,570
But this is
my cooking thing, hear.
20
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:39,538
Come on, Ms. Tudi.
21
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,140
You know you like a mama
to all us.
22
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,875
Nigga, ooh, no. No, no, no.
23
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,544
Don't say that again, hear.
I don't want to be his mama.
24
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,546
FISH:
So you telling me you gonna
feed all these strangers
25
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,648
you met off the Internet,
but you can't feed us?
26
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:50,816
These ain't strangers.
27
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,384
These are customers.
28
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,820
What, you got the $60 a plate
that I'm charging?
29
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:57,222
Come on, Ms. Tudi, you know
we ain't got no money, man.
30
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,724
But we'll work for it.
31
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,826
We could be
your waitstaff.
32
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:01,894
I don't need no help.
33
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,162
I got Mexicans,
34
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,663
and they some
efficient (bleep),
35
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:05,864
let me tell you.
36
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,166
You know what?
37
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,867
Actually, I could
use you, Fish.
38
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:11,103
I need some help
hosting. Come on.
39
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:12,237
Only Fish.
40
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,672
Hey, why only Fish?
41
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,040
Because he's sexy.
42
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,742
Fat niggas make people want
to stop eating.
43
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,845
Mama, why you always
got to hurt my feelings
44
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,780
in front of my friends?
45
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,580
See, now, I have to keep
the list real tight,
46
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,881
because technically,
47
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,483
what I'm doing is not legal.
48
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,918
You saying it's illegal
to serve food in your own house?
49
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,555
No, I'm saying it's illegal to
sell food in your own house.
50
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,324
So, look,
what I need you to do
51
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:08,227
Mm-hmm.
is just go around,
check on everybody.
52
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:10,395
Just make sure they happy, okay?
53
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:12,264
All right.
Okay. But should I
get dressed first?
54
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:15,634
No, no, I like going with that,
uh, hood theme.
55
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,735
(chuckles)
56
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:17,836
All right, cool.
Okay.
57
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,738
Go on and get yourself
something to eat.
58
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:20,939
All right.
All right.
59
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,007
Thank you, Ms. Tudi.
60
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,408
Go on, baby.
61
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:34,586
Boonie, if there wasn't no food
in there five minutes ago, man,
62
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,455
it just ain't gonna appear.
63
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:37,856
Really?
64
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,825
I thought that was the point
65
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,360
of his holiness right here.
66
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,529
Hey, man, why don't you
make about five hot dogs
67
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,765
and five 40s appear so you
can feed the crew tonight?
68
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,300
What's up, man?
69
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,801
JESUS:
Look, man, God ain't gonna solve
70
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,436
all our problems.
If we ain't eating,
71
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,705
that means we ain't hustling
hard enough.
72
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,175
Ooh, nigga.
73
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,510
Well, if it ain't
this selfish (bleep).
74
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,479
Boonie, boy, your mom can
cook her ass off, for real.
75
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:04,316
I hope you ate good, 'cause
there ain't shit to eat now.
76
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,884
At least we got each other.
77
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,953
FISH:
That's why we ain't
got no food now.
78
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,521
'Cause all we got is each other.
79
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,657
Man, this is exactly
what food stamps is for.
80
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,458
All right, guys, listen,
I just Googled
81
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,161
how to get food stamps,
and it's really quite simple.
82
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,696
You guys all meet the criteria.
83
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,166
No money, no job and no income
in the bank, so.
84
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,035
Boonie, why don't you go
down there, man?
85
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,170
You got two kids;
they'll probably give you extra.
86
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,905
Man, I'm already
on food stamps, man.
87
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,473
Between my mom and Shalinka,
88
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,809
I don't have enough left
to buy a bag of Doritos.
89
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,178
Well, somebody gonna have
to go down there, man,
90
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,513
or else we gonna starve.
91
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,315
Okay, well,
who gonna do it, though?
92
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,016
'Cause you I'd do it,
but I ain't got no I.D.
93
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,985
Six, seven. All right, guys,
I got just the thing.
94
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:42,187
There's this new app, right?
Uh, you draw straws.
95
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,722
Whoever draws
the longest straw
96
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,558
has to go to the,
get the stamps.
97
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,893
Go ahead.
98
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,394
(mumbling)
99
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,765
Okay, and then I pick,
and we'll press "draw."
100
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,001
And then...
101
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,169
Uh-huh.
102
00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,570
Of course.
103
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:02,007
(phones ringing)
104
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,842
(woman sobbing)
105
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,944
Beat it.
106
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,013
Next!
107
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,982
Come on!
108
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,252
What up, girl?
109
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,853
Nigga out there starving
in these streets.
110
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,521
I'm trying to get up
on this SNAP program.
111
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,091
Yeah, all right,
uh, Mr., uh, uh...
112
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,959
Oh.
113
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,694
Oh, well, well.
114
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,363
Oh, well, what?
Look, lady, I...
115
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:25,530
How can I help you, sir?
116
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:28,033
Have you fallen
on hard times?
117
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,102
Yeah.
118
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,970
I have fallen on some really...
119
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,705
really hard times.
120
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,873
Mmm.
121
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,708
You know,
I'm not working right now,
122
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,278
so, you know, I can't buy food
to feed these muscles.
123
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:42,047
Oh.
You know?
124
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,050
I know I must be down to
at least zero percent body fat.
125
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:46,485
Uh-huh.
126
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,820
Okay, well,
mmm, mmm, mmm.
127
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:52,391
You know, is this
the best number to reach you?
128
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:53,725
I'd like to try to get you
129
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,093
eating something
130
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,561
as soon as possible.
131
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,598
Yeah, that's the best number
right there.
132
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,301
And you can
call me anytime, baby.
133
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,169
Well, I get off
around dinnertime.
134
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,771
You will, too.
135
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,838
Mmm.
136
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,810
(sharp inhale)
137
00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:15,580
Damn.
138
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,983
I really can't believe
how good it smells up in here.
139
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,318
Mm-hmm, right?
140
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,086
And look.
141
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,088
♪ Hallelujah ♪
We have buffalo rib eyes,
142
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:26,258
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
and we have truffle
Parmesan mac and cheese.
143
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:29,127
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah. ♪
We have prosciutto-wrapped
asparagus,
144
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,096
but you can start
145
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:32,631
with this pear
and cheese plate
146
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,933
and a glass of this Cabernet.
147
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,902
Mm-hmm.
148
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,041
Mmm!
149
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,176
You know what, Laverne?
150
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,610
I got to be honest with you,
151
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,779
if you want sex
in exchange for this meal,
152
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,815
I'm down.
We can do that.
153
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:50,982
Excuse you?
154
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,051
I thought that's what
you wanted?
155
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,053
My meat for your eats.
156
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,222
No, honey, uh, the meal is free.
157
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,791
I want sex in exchange for this.
158
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,793
No limit.
159
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,961
Limitless.
160
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,930
(chuckles)
161
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,068
(snoring)
162
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,804
Hey, wake y'all punk ass up!
163
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:13,972
Hey, get up, J.
164
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,474
Get your ass up
165
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:18,143
and let's go get
these groceries.
166
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,077
We got food stamps?
167
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,212
Hell yeah, nigga.
168
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,346
Get up.
169
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,514
You got food stamps?
170
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,015
(bleep) you come from?
171
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:27,686
Halleluiah, halleluiah,
we about to have a feast.
172
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,488
Thank God for EBT, man.
173
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,823
That EBT really
help folks, man.
174
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,392
(sniffs)
175
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:34,693
Man, Pops don't care
who loving,
176
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,828
long as you loving yourself
at the same time.
177
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,497
And you know,
some of my favorite women
178
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,731
is prostitutes, dawg.
179
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,867
You know, sex work
is some hard work, Fish.
180
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,735
And if you gonna
keep on smashing baby girl
181
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,872
for the food, man,
how's this gonna make you feel?
182
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,174
Beats feeling hungry,
I know that much.
183
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,743
I'm eating things
I never thought I'd eat before.
184
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,345
Hey, like fat bitch (bleep)?
185
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:54,780
(chuckles)
186
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:55,881
Hey.
187
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,048
Look, man,
188
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,784
that chick, Laverne, dude,
189
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,752
she crazy, man.
She got some real issues, man.
190
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,021
Maybe going
through midlife crisis.
191
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,756
Okay, so tell me again,
192
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,191
how is this not stealing?
193
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,592
'Cause Perfect Food's
194
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,194
getting they money,
the government getting
195
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,629
they money from taxpayers.
196
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,264
I mean, Laverne might get fired
if they find out,
197
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,432
but other than that,
198
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,599
the government
spend tax money
199
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,134
on worse things
than this.
200
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,370
And I know gluttony
one of the seven deadly sins.
201
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,205
(belches)
202
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,941
And I know we can't keep
sitting here getting fat, man,
203
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,609
when there's people out there
that need the Word, man.
204
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,211
We got to take the street.
205
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,647
Snap!
206
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,882
What if we took the card
207
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,951
and went and fed
the hungry?
208
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,553
Look, man, you remember
the soup kitchen downtown,
209
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:35,887
the one they just shut down?
Yeah.
210
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,723
Man, it's a gang space
in that mug.
211
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:41,226
I think we could cook
out the truck
212
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:42,928
and serve up in the spot.
213
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,463
Eh, come on, man,
let's go check it out!
214
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:45,797
I mean, whatever it takes
215
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,132
to make the man upstairs
look the other way.
216
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,767
BOONIE:
Damn, Jesus,
217
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,903
why we can't just enjoy
some shit once in a while?
218
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,272
Why everything gotta be
a community service?
219
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,475
♪ ♪
220
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,081
Hey, hey, Fish,
didn't you tell me
221
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,449
you was gonna smoke
some weed with me?
222
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,485
FISH:
Got some?
223
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,186
Come on, man, let's get
this truck unloaded.
224
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,358
MS. TUDI:
Trayvon!
225
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,193
Where the keys
to the truck?
226
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,995
Uh, Boonie...
Boonie has 'em.
227
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,500
MS. TUDI:
Boonie!
228
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:23,935
Hey, Mama, what you...
229
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:24,936
Stop all that.
230
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,338
Where the keys
to the truck?
231
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,139
They in the ignition.
232
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,841
Thank you.
233
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,179
♪ Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it ♪
234
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,714
♪ Do it again ♪
235
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,216
♪ Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it ♪
236
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,318
♪ Do it again ♪
237
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,220
♪ Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it ♪
(engine revs)
238
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,555
♪ Do it again ♪
239
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:46,024
♪ Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it,
240
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,859
♪ Do it again. ♪
241
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:52,364
Who stole the damn truck?
242
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,965
It was...
243
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,800
Hey, my mama
stole your truck, Jesus.
244
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:59,271
Why you let her?
245
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:03,475
JESUS:
You wanted to talk
to us, Ms. Tudi?
246
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,977
I'm glad you
got my message.
247
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,513
Because Ms. Tudi's feelings
248
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,181
was very, very hurt.
249
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,551
I mean, I thought
we were a team.
250
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,419
Crew love.
251
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,987
Huh?
252
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,923
Crew love!
253
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:21,660
But I see Ms. Tudi
just out in the cold.
254
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,228
Now, I know something going on.
255
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,530
I don't know what,
256
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,332
but something is going on.
257
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,667
I know, because this nigga
258
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,169
right here is fatter
than he was last week.
259
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,505
We just helping out
the less fortunate, Ms. Tudi.
260
00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,540
Y'all niggas are
the less fortunate.
261
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,208
Now, I saw all that food.
262
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,510
Where'd you get it?
263
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,011
Did you steal it?
264
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,413
Huh?
265
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:44,416
Ms. Tudi, we got a little hookup
down at the SNAP office.
266
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,451
And I got this.
267
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,286
A EBT card?
268
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,589
Nah, an infinite EBT card.
269
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,190
Limitless.
270
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,592
Jesus...
271
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,026
is that a miracle?
272
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,195
Huh?
That ain't no miracle,
Ms. Tudi.
273
00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:00,398
See, Fish,
he taking advantage of, uh,
274
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,900
of a girl,
the way she's built,
275
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,069
you know, when she stand up,
her ankles disappear.
276
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,403
Laverne,
down at the SNAP office.
277
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,571
So Fish putting
it up in her,
278
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,073
you know what I'm saying?
279
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,808
As long as he keep
feeding her guts,
280
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,710
she keep feeding us.
281
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,311
That's what's up.
Fish, I'm...
282
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,280
surprised.
283
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,549
(sighs)
You know what?
284
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,918
Why don't y'all come
on and have a seat?
285
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,287
Come on!
Y'all want some wine?
286
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,655
Huh?
Me, too?
287
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,624
You, too, baby.
Come on in, sit down.
288
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,492
Wine?
Yes, some wine.
Red wine.
289
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,094
Boonie, go get
the wine for 'em.
290
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,495
Ms. Tudi,
why every time we try
291
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,830
to do something good
for mankind,
292
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,398
you gotta turn it
into a money hustle?
293
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,666
Come on, now,
that food
294
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,800
is for the poor
and unfortunate, man.
295
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,068
Why you got
to act greedy
296
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,236
all the time?
297
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,504
Greedy?
298
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,172
Jesus, you the one
that's being greedy.
299
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,407
Why does everything
300
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,808
have to be for the poor, huh?
301
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,276
I mean, what,
you don't think
302
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,678
we want to do shit?
303
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,013
(phone chimes)
Now listen,
304
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,582
your soup kitchen
is the perfect place
305
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:51,916
for Tasty Tudi's.
306
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,418
And with all
this free food,
307
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,186
do you know how much money
we could make?
308
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,322
Hey, trust me.
That food ain't free.
309
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,824
Do you know what this dude
gotta do for that card?
310
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,460
And I want to cut all y'all in.
311
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,796
$80 a plate.
312
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,131
Yeah, but Ms. Tudi,
who gonna pay that much
313
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,766
to eat dinner in
a (bleep) neighborhood?
314
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,167
(chuckles)
Baby,
315
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,969
like I told Fish,
these white folks--
316
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,704
ha!-- they love this shit.
317
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,039
And see, I'm thinking
318
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,107
we'll keep the whole
soup kitchen theme.
319
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,443
We could even dress up
the waiters like bums.
320
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,711
And then we could do
321
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:20,945
some spontaneous
ghetto theater, you know?
322
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,181
Like the Medieval Times?
323
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,116
You know what?
It ain't my body.
324
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,284
That's on y'all.
325
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,786
But mark my words, man,
326
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,187
if Pops don't like
y'all get down,
327
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,122
trust and believe he gonna
shut that shit down
328
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,957
with quickness and it
will not be fruitful.
329
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,793
Now, Ms. Tudi,
with all due respect,
330
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,661
may I please
have my keys
331
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:38,196
so I can shake
this spot?
332
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,365
So mad about?
333
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,867
I don't even know why
334
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,869
I walk this (bleep) earth
sometimes, man.
335
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,404
Don't nobody listen.
336
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,739
Who the (bleep) am I?
337
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,140
Son of the Most High.
338
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:52,510
You know.
The Alpha, the Omega.
339
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,978
The Messiah.
340
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,414
(scoffs)
Y'all don't give a (bleep).
341
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,749
Come on, homies, let's bust up
342
00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,251
out of here, man.
343
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,253
I... I care.
344
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:06,424
Eh, eh, eh. Fish.
345
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:14,532
Look here.
346
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,167
How much sleep you getting, huh?
347
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,335
No, better yet,
348
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,705
how many nights are
you spending at Laverne's?
349
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,907
Before you made
this little arrangement,
350
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,375
did you negotiate
351
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,778
how many little appointments
you were gonna have?
352
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,114
Did you set
any rules at all?
353
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,282
See, there you go with that
pimpin' shit again, Ms. Tudi.
354
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,051
Look, man, I don't
really need you...
(phone chimes)
355
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,619
Oh!
356
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:37,188
What, she blowing up
your personal phone?
357
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,557
See, that bitch thinks
she owns you.
358
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,926
And that's
because you failed
359
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,695
to lay out
any boundaries
360
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:45,263
and any expectations.
361
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,700
That's what good representation
can do for you.
362
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:50,235
Yeah, you right, Ms. Tudi.
363
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,270
Man, she expect a lot
for that food she givin' us.
364
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,607
Listen, I can help you
manage this situation.
365
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,376
But first, what we gonna do
is keep her happy.
366
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,412
Keep the card working.
367
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:02,714
Okay?
368
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,816
We're gonna start
with this.
369
00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:07,786
Give me your hand.
370
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:10,989
Oh.
371
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,893
(phone chimes)
372
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,561
Nah, I need more.
373
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,962
Look what she's sending me.
374
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:21,399
I need a couple, though.
375
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,501
All right.
376
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:26,371
(indistinct overlapping
chatter)
377
00:13:28,407 --> 00:13:30,909
(whistling)
378
00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,647
Okay, señor, here we go.
379
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,081
Gracias.
380
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,851
♪ Ba-dup-ba-dah-dah-dah... ♪
Ah!
381
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,419
Thank you.
382
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,587
(laughs)
383
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,522
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
384
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,691
Ah-ah! Ah-ah!
Put it down!
385
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,093
What the hell you think
you doing, Lloyd?
I think I'm gonna
386
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:50,795
get me some food.
This used to be
387
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:53,264
my favorite soup kitchen.
Well, it ain't
your soup kitchen no more.
388
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,266
Look, Lloyd,
you ain't homeless no more.
389
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,435
Once you're homeless, you're
always homeless. Look at me!
390
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,437
Get out of here. Go.
I ain't playing with you.
391
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:02,106
Heard the lady.
Come on. Come on, man.
I'm tired of TV dinners.
392
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:03,808
Y'all call yourself Christian.
Look at me, I'm starving.
393
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,543
Hey, hey...
I ain't had nothing
since brunch.
394
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:06,678
Rabbi!
395
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,046
Ms. Tudi, give him
something to eat.
396
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,015
Here, nigga,
take that.
397
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,984
Slap some gravy
on this thing.
398
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,686
This is ridiculous!
Hey, come on.
399
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,788
Get your ass up
out of here, man.
400
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,356
MS. TUDI:
Okay. All right, team!
401
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,458
Let's go, clean up.
Let's clean up. Hey, you.
402
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,961
You, you. Let's go. Let's go,
okay? Hey, y'all over there!
403
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,362
Go! Let's go!
(people grumbling)
404
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,898
Take that food from
his ass. It's over.
405
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,132
What?
Ms. Tudi, why
you trippin'?
406
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,367
Nigga, talk to me like that
407
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,802
when I put some money
in your pocket, hear.
408
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:31,903
It is time for everybody to go.
409
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,304
Get these niggas
out of here.
410
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,305
You got to go.
411
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,707
JESUS:
They still hungry, Ms. Tudi.
412
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:36,975
Okay, take the
tray with you.
413
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,710
Take the tray. Here.
Just bye. Go.
414
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,144
Go.
415
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,480
All right, team.
Time to get going.
416
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,617
Let's make some money!
417
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,419
Mm-mm.
418
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,854
MS. TUDI:
Get it up.
419
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,189
All right, you can
turn 'em on now.
420
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,857
MS. TUDI:
Good job, Boonie.
421
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,726
Hey-hey-hey!
Put one
over there.
422
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,928
Hey, Ms. Tudi, we got time
to smoke this blunt?
423
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,831
Oh, yeah,
we got time today, cuz.
424
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:02,367
(laughter)
425
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,203
(laughing):
Today we have time.
426
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,573
(low, indistinct chatter)
427
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,383
Get out, get out of my way.
I'm on the list.
428
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,351
I'm on the list.
429
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,552
Lloyd!
430
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:22,620
I am not playing with you.
431
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,721
Now, you about to get
432
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,189
on my last
damn nerve, hear?
433
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,058
Ain't this a bitch?
Now I'm a bum again!
434
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,127
Too poor to eat here
in the nighttime
435
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,529
and not poor enough
to eat in the daytime.
436
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,564
Mm-hmm.
Give me something
to eat, please?
437
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:34,565
Just a little morsel.
438
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:35,700
$80 a plate, nigga.
439
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:36,868
You got $80?
440
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,870
$80?! For food?!
441
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,872
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself!
442
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:43,608
This is bullshit!
And look...
443
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,943
look at him!
444
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,644
Him, too-- don't
he look like me?
445
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,947
Look at this one!
446
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,481
You stole my likeness.
447
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,816
Oh, nigga, please.
448
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,384
I'm gonna sue.
I'm gonna sue you.
449
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,053
I'm gonna sue all of you.
Okay, good.
450
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:55,987
Okay, okay.
I'm gonna sue.
451
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,255
Good, sue and disappear.
452
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,390
Okay, all right, okay.
Mm-hmm, okay, uh-huh.
453
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,725
Uh-huh, this ain't the last
you gonna see of me.
454
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,327
Mm-hmm, good.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
455
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,928
Well, let me use
the bathroom first.
456
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,264
Nigga, go shit in the middle of
the street like you normally do!
457
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,132
Okay, okay.
Now, go!
458
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,568
Mm-hmm, good, good.
Uh-uh, uh-uh, no, no, no.
459
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,470
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
460
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,606
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-uh.
461
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,810
Don't let that nigga in here.
462
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,012
Y'all having a good time?
463
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,417
♪ ♪
464
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:40,765
Wow, some of these guys
look like real bums.
465
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,734
This place is amazing.
466
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,871
Don't tell me I ain't no bum.
467
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,073
I know what a bum is.
468
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,611
Bum, bum.
469
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,381
I'm gonna drop
some bums on their ass.
470
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,116
What I'm...
that's what I'm gonna do.
471
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:00,318
Watch this, watch this.
(grunts)
472
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,486
Okay.
473
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:02,820
(sighs, grunts)
474
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,456
(farting, defecates in water)
475
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,192
(grunting)
476
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,296
All right, what I tell y'all?
477
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,198
Crew love, honey, crew love!
478
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,300
Mm-mm-mm, bring it on in.
Come on, Jesus.
479
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:18,202
Hey, Boonie, we got
a spill over there, babe.
480
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,637
Go pick that up,
go pick that up.
481
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,873
Go get the broom in
the broom closet, nigga,
482
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,241
and clean it up!
483
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,009
Aw, Ms. Tudi,
you so hard on him.
484
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,477
I love you, Boonie!
485
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,430
Yo, y'all smell that, man?
486
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:48,733
Hey, I ain't crazy, man.
487
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:52,036
I know you uppity (bleep) can
smell that shit, but (bleep) it.
488
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,337
That smell terrible,
489
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,406
like somebody took
a shit or something.
490
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,075
Goddamn!
491
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,777
Oh, God, what's that smell?
492
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,379
Jesus, it's awful.
493
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,748
This place is amazing.
494
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:08,519
(grunting)
495
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,355
There she is right
there, Ms. Tudi.
496
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:14,926
Hey, where-where's Fish?
497
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:18,863
Where's that hot piece of ass?
498
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,565
Oh, yeah!
499
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,867
There's my stud.
500
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,068
Oh.
What's up, Laverne?
501
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,269
How you doing tonight?
502
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,804
I want you to
meet somebody.
503
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,239
This is Ms. Tudi.
504
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,640
She's the founder of
this fine establishment.
505
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,076
Ms. Tudi,
that's-that's her.
506
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,311
How you doing, my sister?
507
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,812
I've heard a lot about you
508
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,714
and, uh, well,
I sure hope you brought
509
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,249
your appetite with you.
510
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,151
Oh, so you done got a job now?
511
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,752
I guess that means
512
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,054
you're not gonna be needing
513
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,389
any more government assistance.
514
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:46,891
Listen, I wanted
to talk to you about that.
515
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,092
Laverne,
516
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,595
I think I might be
able to interest you
517
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,164
in a partnership
with Tasty Tudi's.
518
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,432
Partnership?!
519
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,901
How you gonna
offer me a partnership
520
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,402
when all this
is my shit?
521
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,304
I know where
this food came from.
522
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,140
Laverne, please.
Please, Laverne.
523
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,808
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
524
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,245
I ain't (bleep) with you
since my third divorce!
525
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,313
I ain't even want
to talk to you!
526
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,816
Now, listen, let me
tell you something.
527
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,852
I don't want a partner
in no broke-down,
528
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,621
tore-up-ass, old restaurant.
529
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,023
I don't care
what you do with the food
530
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:22,260
as long as it don't interfere
with my dick time.
531
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,294
Now, come on, Fish.
532
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,795
(kisses)
Let's go.
533
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,931
Say, man, you better chill
the (bleep) out right now.
534
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:30,101
Oh, don't fool around
and get your benefits cut, Fish.
535
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:31,702
JESUS:
Laverne, please now.
536
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:32,937
Stop, that's enough.
537
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,672
No, no, (bleep) all that!
538
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,506
Hey, ladies?
539
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,508
Ladies, you want
a good time?
540
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,277
'Cause this nigga'll blow your
back out for a cheeseburger.
541
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,611
(customers exclaiming)
542
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:43,114
Now, come on, baby,
it's dick time!
543
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,216
Let's go!
544
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,685
Should've listened
to you, Jesus.
545
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,124
JESUS: Look, look,
ladies, ladies,
546
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:55,126
let's-let's calm down,
take a breather,
547
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:56,194
count to ten--
let's chill out.
548
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,628
We can talk about this.
549
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,064
Why don't you fix me
a plate to go, bitch,
550
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,966
before I feed
all these niggas
551
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,534
and take them all home with me?
552
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:07,939
(Laverne shouting)
(customer exclaiming)
553
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:12,577
(glass shattering)
554
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:15,646
(customers gasping)
555
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,981
Damn, Laverne,
you all right?
556
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:19,050
Nigga, do I look all right?
557
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,152
MAN:
Did you just see that?
558
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:22,553
Bitch, what you hit me with?
559
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,489
I hit you with the (bleep)
hand of Tudi, bitch.
560
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:28,159
See, I was waiting for you
at the door.
561
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:29,994
Let me tell you something.
562
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,529
This is my spot!
563
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,364
You don't come up
in Tasty Tudi's
564
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,833
with this bullshit,
you understand me?!
565
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,868
This is a fine, (bleep)
dining establishment.
566
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,371
And as for that little
arrangement you and Fish have?
567
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,773
Oh.
That shit's over, hear?
568
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:43,774
Hear?!
569
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,176
All right, damn.
570
00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:47,111
All right, now,
we gonna do this classy.
571
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:50,348
Come on, get up and bow, bitch.
572
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,116
Oh...
(grunting)
573
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,184
Oh!
574
00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:55,953
Damn.
And scene!
575
00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:04,595
Ladies and gentlemen,
576
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:08,299
a little ghetto theater
to enjoy with your meal.
577
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:10,901
Ladies and gentlemen,
578
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,970
let's give a round
of applause to Fish!
579
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:17,041
(cheering, whooping)
580
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,243
Come on, Laverne,
we got to get you out of here.
581
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,578
You know, you kind of
had that coming, girl,
582
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,046
'cause you know
you be doing the most.
583
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:23,281
I know, Jesus.
584
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:25,883
WOMAN:
Oh, God!
585
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,551
He's mopping the floor
with shit!
586
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,487
Hey, I knew I smelled something.
587
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,489
WOMAN: Oh, gross.
MAN: I'm going to throw up.
588
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,825
Hey, Mama, is there supposed
to be shit on the mop?!
589
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:35,893
MAN:
Gross!
590
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,296
Is this part of the theme
or what?!
591
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:42,466
MAN:
So disgusting.