1 00:00:02,278 --> 00:00:09,837 ♪♪ 2 00:00:09,871 --> 00:00:12,460 Hey, what's up, bitch? Get the fuck out of the car, bitch! 3 00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:14,048 Get the fuck out of the car! -[ Screams ] 4 00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:15,670 You know what time it is, bitch. Get out the car. 5 00:00:15,705 --> 00:00:16,809 Woman: [ Gasps ] 6 00:00:16,844 --> 00:00:17,810 [ Screams ] 7 00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:19,329 [ Crying ] 8 00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:22,125 [ Tires squeal ] 9 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,264 [ Horns blaring ] 10 00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:24,610 Fuck! 11 00:00:24,645 --> 00:00:26,198 Oh, shit! 12 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:27,751 Whoo! That's what I'm talking about! 13 00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:29,684 We got her, baby! 14 00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:31,790 [ Metal scraping ] 15 00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:34,068 The fuck is that, man?What the fuck are you talking about? 16 00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,691 Are you dragging something?No, I didn't fucking hit anything. 17 00:00:36,726 --> 00:00:38,521 [ Scraping continues ] 18 00:00:38,555 --> 00:00:43,077 ♪♪ 19 00:00:43,112 --> 00:00:44,837 Man, I don't know. I hear something.Wait, I hear that shit, too. 20 00:00:44,872 --> 00:00:46,425 What the fuck is that? -All right, man. Well, just... 21 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:53,122 ♪♪ 22 00:00:53,156 --> 00:00:54,295 [ Tires screech ] 23 00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:55,572 What the hell? 24 00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:58,541 The hell was that? 25 00:00:58,575 --> 00:01:01,440 [ Car doors open, ignition chiming ] 26 00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:08,516 ♪♪ 27 00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:09,793 [ Shouts ] 28 00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:13,832 ♪♪ 29 00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:22,703 ♪♪ 30 00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:24,843 [ Sirens wailing ] 31 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:34,163 ♪♪ 32 00:01:34,197 --> 00:01:44,173 ♪♪ 33 00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:49,212 ♪♪ 34 00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:52,560 [ Laughing ] Man. He fucked y'all up. 35 00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:54,493 Wow! I mean, God damn. 36 00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:56,875 Y-Y'all look like you did 10 rounds with Adonis Creed. 37 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,601 And y'all didn't see nothing, huh? 38 00:01:58,635 --> 00:02:00,534 Man, I told y'all, it was dark. 39 00:02:00,568 --> 00:02:03,571 He had a mask. He had body armor and shit. 40 00:02:03,606 --> 00:02:06,298 Man, the nigga looked like LEGO Batman, all right? 41 00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,542 Batman? LEGO Batman. 42 00:02:08,576 --> 00:02:10,958 Does that make you the Joker and the Penguin? Huh? 43 00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:12,753 [ Laughs ] 44 00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:16,791 [ Sighs ] Compton Crusader. Damn. 45 00:02:16,826 --> 00:02:19,277 You know, they already had a Compton Crusader up on Hollywood Boulevard, 46 00:02:19,311 --> 00:02:22,625 posing with tourists like all those other bootleg-ass superheroes. 47 00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:24,627 Yeah, well, people need heroes, too. Come on. 48 00:02:24,661 --> 00:02:27,250 [ Laughs ] They do. 49 00:02:27,285 --> 00:02:28,907 Dianne: You know, whoever this guy is 50 00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:31,427 has basic knowledge of tactics, surveillance. 51 00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:33,325 He hasn't made any mistakes on this one. 52 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,465 None. Hmm? 53 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,261 Well, well, well. 54 00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:40,263 Detective! 55 00:02:40,298 --> 00:02:42,645 Look like you got a little competition around here. 56 00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:44,819 Finally got somebody to keep the people safe. 57 00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:46,994 You wouldn't know anything about this, would you, Lloyd? 58 00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:48,789 I know about everything. 59 00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:52,655 I keep my ear to the streets, but I need my hearing aid. 60 00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:55,416 Lloyd, please. I don't walk around with a fifth of Darby in my purse. 61 00:02:55,451 --> 00:02:56,831 Can you believe this guy?[ Laughs ] 62 00:02:56,866 --> 00:02:58,316 Darby? 63 00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,800 Darby can kiss my ass. 64 00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:01,250 Okay. 65 00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:02,527 No Darby? 66 00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:05,426 W-Word is Jesus performed a miracle 67 00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:07,290 and Lloyd can't get drunk. 68 00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:08,774 Probably saved his life. 69 00:03:08,809 --> 00:03:10,949 He ruined it. That's what he did. 70 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,952 Darby was the only friend I had in times of trouble. 71 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:16,851 Now my only friend I got now is my boy Benjamin. 72 00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,301 Benjamin? 73 00:03:18,336 --> 00:03:20,269 Yeah, the nigga that fly that kite. 74 00:03:20,303 --> 00:03:21,960 [ Sighs ] For crying out loud. I can't... 75 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,789 I got it. [ Clears throat ]Oh, no, partner. 76 00:03:23,824 --> 00:03:25,791 Mnh. Sss. 77 00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:27,828 Think this'll help your hearing a little better? 78 00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:30,348 $5? No, no, no. 79 00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:32,522 I said "Benjamin", not "Lincoln". 80 00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:36,008 That mulatto-ass son of a bitch ain't gonna get you nothin'. 81 00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:37,803 Well, if you don't want it... Ah! 82 00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:39,564 Ehhhh... 83 00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:41,669 I-I'll take it. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 84 00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:43,844 All right. Y'all ready? 85 00:03:43,878 --> 00:03:46,571 -Hold on. -Listen to me. 86 00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:48,297 All right. This is gonna blow the case wide-open. 87 00:03:48,331 --> 00:03:49,539 [ Clears throat ] 88 00:03:49,574 --> 00:03:53,025 The Compton Crusader is... 89 00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:56,581 [ Coughs, clears throat ] 90 00:03:56,615 --> 00:03:59,031 ...an African-American male. 91 00:03:59,066 --> 00:04:01,965 Thank you, kindly. Have a mighty nice day. 92 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,382 H-Hey! Hey! 93 00:04:04,416 --> 00:04:06,384 Many believe that the Compton Crusader 94 00:04:06,418 --> 00:04:08,006 is more hero than villain. 95 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,525 Neighborhood advocates are concerned 96 00:04:09,559 --> 00:04:11,389 that innocent residents may be harmed. 97 00:04:11,423 --> 00:04:13,287 See, my guess is, 98 00:04:13,322 --> 00:04:15,358 them Compton Crusaders ain't packin' no real heat. 99 00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:18,430 Why you say that? I bet he has a bunch of guns and ammo. 100 00:04:18,465 --> 00:04:20,501 No, I'm not talking about that kinda heat. 101 00:04:20,536 --> 00:04:22,710 I'm talking about in the bed. 102 00:04:22,745 --> 00:04:24,574 I took a psych class. [ Chuckles ] 103 00:04:24,609 --> 00:04:26,852 And it said that dudes that like to beat people up 104 00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:29,441 and wear costumes are just overcompensating 105 00:04:29,476 --> 00:04:32,030 for small genitalia and erectile issues. 106 00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,342 Look here. 107 00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:35,447 My -- a-and by "my", I mean -- 108 00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:38,899 I'm pretty certain my man the Compton Crusader's package 109 00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,832 is damn big and hella functional. 110 00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:42,558 Right, Boonie? 111 00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:44,387 Nigga, how the hell should I know? 112 00:04:44,422 --> 00:04:47,079 I know I'd give the Crusader a chance. 113 00:04:47,114 --> 00:04:50,911 I see a fine man in uniform, and my panties get so humid, 114 00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:53,120 it's like taking off a wet suit. 115 00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:55,605 "Wh-khh! Wh-khh!" [ Cackles ] 116 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,435 Nessa: But what if his stuff is really small, though? 117 00:04:57,469 --> 00:05:00,403 Even the small stuff can get the job done. 118 00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:01,991 All they got to do is a little flick, 119 00:05:02,025 --> 00:05:03,924 and from what I hear about the Compton Crusader, 120 00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,754 he can flick up in my stuff any damn time. 121 00:05:06,789 --> 00:05:07,548 [ Laughs ] 122 00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:09,654 [ Gagging ] 123 00:05:09,688 --> 00:05:10,620 You done? 124 00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:13,727 Suddenly, I'm not as hungry as I thought. 125 00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:14,969 Hey. 126 00:05:15,004 --> 00:05:16,764 I'll give it a flick. 127 00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:20,492 [ Grunts, chuckles ] 128 00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:23,668 So, Ms. Tudi got y'all out there slanging that low budget, huh? 129 00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,533 Man, I'm so glad I still ain't out there doing that shit. 130 00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,121 It sure feel good to kick it with the homie one more gear, man. 131 00:05:29,156 --> 00:05:30,916 Shit feel like old times. 132 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,125 Look at you, man -- you all settled, 133 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,611 responsible and things, you know what I'm talkin' about? 134 00:05:35,645 --> 00:05:38,614 Handling business, got your life on track and shit. 135 00:05:39,891 --> 00:05:41,927 Well...I guess it ain't like old times. 136 00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:43,170 [ Door opens ][ Laughs ] 137 00:05:43,204 --> 00:05:45,137 But it's cool, anyway, though, pimp. 138 00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:47,623 Dianne: [ Sighing ] Hi. Sorry it took so long. 139 00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:50,902 Hey, Jesus! [ Chuckles ] -What's happenin', pimp? 140 00:05:50,936 --> 00:05:52,938 -Hi, baby. -Hi, baby. 141 00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:54,975 Both: Mwah! 142 00:05:55,009 --> 00:05:59,013 So, Jesus, now, I know you know who it is, don't you? 143 00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:00,705 Who? 144 00:06:00,739 --> 00:06:03,017 The Compton Crusader. Come on. 145 00:06:03,052 --> 00:06:06,400 Girl, I'm Jesus Christ. Of course I know. [ Chuckles ] 146 00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:09,127 Baby, look, that ain't even really, like, no divine knowledge. 147 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,611 I mean, that's right in our face. 148 00:06:10,646 --> 00:06:12,095 Everybody know who that is. 149 00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,925 You know who the Compton Crusader is? 150 00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:15,513 Yeah. 151 00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,549 Crazy-ass AmBro. 152 00:06:17,584 --> 00:06:19,482 -AmBro? -Mm-hmm. 153 00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:20,863 AmBro? 154 00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:22,830 [ Gasps ] Gun-obsessed, over-testosteroned, 155 00:06:22,865 --> 00:06:24,694 always looking for a fight? 156 00:06:24,729 --> 00:06:26,800 AmBro that does security at the apartment complex? 157 00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:28,042 That AmBro? 158 00:06:28,077 --> 00:06:29,216 Oh, my God. 159 00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,045 He does dress like Batman. 160 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,185 A broke-ass Batman. [ Chuckles ] [ Sighs ] 161 00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:35,187 Baby, I didn't even know you was working that case. 162 00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:36,844 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got assigned. 163 00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,639 Wow! AmBro? 164 00:06:38,674 --> 00:06:40,123 Look, Jesus, can you handle this? 165 00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:41,884 Just...make it go away. 166 00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:42,988 Oh, for sho'! 167 00:06:43,023 --> 00:06:44,714 I'll go down there, hollah at him. 168 00:06:44,749 --> 00:06:46,992 It ain't nothin', girl. I got this.Thank you! 169 00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:48,546 You got some weed? 170 00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:53,792 ♪♪ 171 00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:55,173 AmBro! 172 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,933 What's happenin', pimp?! 173 00:06:56,968 --> 00:06:59,039 Hey! No drugs to sell today? 174 00:06:59,073 --> 00:07:00,834 You scarin' all the customers off 175 00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:04,216 with your military tactics and regimes and things and... 176 00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:06,978 Hey, why you got to protect the neighborhood so well, AmBro? 177 00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:08,842 Uh-huh. 178 00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,464 Hey, look, bruh, 179 00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:13,225 I know we don't really know each other that well -- 180 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:14,882 Well, I know you, 'cause I'm Jesus, 181 00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:16,746 but I know you don't really know me like that -- 182 00:07:16,781 --> 00:07:18,507 Look, bruh. 183 00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:20,888 I don't need to know you like that, a'ight? 184 00:07:20,923 --> 00:07:23,753 I don't know what spell you got over everybody else, 185 00:07:23,788 --> 00:07:25,755 but bullshit bounces off my brain 186 00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:28,206 like greased ass on rubber sheets. 187 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,794 Look, bruh, 188 00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:32,072 I know the military sent you through hell and back. 189 00:07:32,106 --> 00:07:34,212 They fucked you up, but have you ever wondered, 190 00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:36,594 how did you make it back and so many others didn't? 191 00:07:36,628 --> 00:07:38,561 God got your back. 192 00:07:38,596 --> 00:07:42,047 He lookin' out for you, bruh, even if you don't know it. 193 00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:45,119 And that's why I'm here -- to save you from yourself 194 00:07:45,154 --> 00:07:46,742 and all this bullshit you're creating 195 00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:48,571 as this Compton Crusader character. 196 00:07:48,606 --> 00:07:50,055 Me -- the Compton Crusader? 197 00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:52,057 No, no, no. 198 00:07:52,092 --> 00:07:53,852 That's flattering, and while I do think 199 00:07:53,887 --> 00:07:55,716 that that guy is great at what he does and everything, 200 00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,236 but, nah, it ain't me. 201 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,652 I know, bruh. I know. 202 00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:02,067 Look, man, I know you think 203 00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:03,759 you doin' the right thing and all, 204 00:08:03,793 --> 00:08:05,554 but stay in your lane, man. 205 00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:06,762 This ain't your purpose. 206 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,802 And I sayeth there ain't no Lord, 207 00:08:12,837 --> 00:08:14,735 so vengeance is mines. 208 00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:16,496 I don't care what you sayeth. 209 00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:25,194 ♪♪ 210 00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:27,679 Man: Where it at? Where it at?! Throw this stuff up in here! 211 00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:29,301 [ Clatter ]Man #2: Look over there, man! 212 00:08:29,336 --> 00:08:32,132 ♪♪ 213 00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:33,651 Where's the drugs? 214 00:08:34,997 --> 00:08:36,170 Hurry up! 215 00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:38,310 [ Clatter continues ] 216 00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:40,002 [ Breathing heavily ] 217 00:08:40,036 --> 00:08:44,144 ♪♪ 218 00:08:44,178 --> 00:08:52,083 ♪♪ 219 00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:53,636 [ Siren wailing ] 220 00:08:53,671 --> 00:09:02,645 ♪♪ 221 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,613 [ Pounding on door ] 222 00:09:04,647 --> 00:09:09,859 ♪♪ 223 00:09:09,894 --> 00:09:15,727 ♪♪ 224 00:09:15,762 --> 00:09:18,281 You won't believe the shit that just happened here. 225 00:09:18,316 --> 00:09:20,629 [ Police radio chatter ] 226 00:09:20,663 --> 00:09:22,803 ♪♪ 227 00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:31,709 ♪♪ 228 00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:33,676 [ Tires screech ]Woman: Oh, Lord, Jesus! 229 00:09:33,711 --> 00:09:35,160 [ Thud ]Unh! 230 00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:37,335 [ Car alarm blaring ] 231 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:42,374 ♪♪ 232 00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:45,757 [ Grunting ] 233 00:09:45,792 --> 00:09:48,691 "Jesus," my ass. 234 00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:50,382 [ Camera clicks ]What up, pimp? 235 00:09:50,417 --> 00:09:52,384 Where you get your sunglasses at? 236 00:09:52,419 --> 00:09:55,215 I know exactly who you are. 237 00:09:55,249 --> 00:09:57,873 Ms. Emma: [ Clicks tongue ] Come on. That ain't real. 238 00:09:57,907 --> 00:10:00,047 This is real, Ms. Emma. I took the picture. 239 00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,911 I saw this happen. -Look, I told you. 240 00:10:01,946 --> 00:10:04,431 What probably happened is that boy got ahold of some weed 241 00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:06,398 that was laced with some PCP or some shit. 242 00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:08,228 You know that shit make you feel superstrong 243 00:10:08,262 --> 00:10:10,264 and you can't feel no pain. -I don't know, man. 244 00:10:10,299 --> 00:10:12,059 We know dudes who are into hard drugs, 245 00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:13,785 and he doesn't seem like that kind of guy. 246 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,407 You don't believe in Jesus, Ms. Emma? 247 00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:17,893 I only believe in some money in my pocket 248 00:10:17,927 --> 00:10:19,722 and for something hard in bed... 249 00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:21,068 to chew on. 250 00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,932 [ Crunches ] Mmm! -Damn, woman! 251 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,727 Would you please stop talking about your sexual needs 252 00:10:24,762 --> 00:10:25,866 around people food? 253 00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:27,316 [ Chuckles ] 254 00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,732 Now, anyway, I will agree with you on this -- 255 00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,838 this dude is not the son of God. 256 00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:34,392 But what if he's a son from another planet? 257 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,739 You mean like an alien? Like E.T.? 258 00:10:36,774 --> 00:10:37,878 No! 259 00:10:37,913 --> 00:10:39,121 His fingers are too short, 260 00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:40,467 and they don't light up at the tip. 261 00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:43,988 I'm saying this fake-ass Jesus 262 00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:46,749 might be Superman in disguise. 263 00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:48,233 Superman? 264 00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:50,270 [ Laughs ] 265 00:10:50,304 --> 00:10:53,307 Okay, AmBro. I'm gon' go with PCP. 266 00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:57,898 [ Muffled talking ] 267 00:10:57,933 --> 00:11:02,800 ♪♪ 268 00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,111 Oh! 269 00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:05,837 Black Batman! Look out! 270 00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:12,430 ♪♪ 271 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,259 [ Screams ] 272 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:17,953 ♪♪ 273 00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,920 Holy nick of time, Batman! 274 00:11:19,955 --> 00:11:21,922 I've come to save your black ass! 275 00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:24,097 ♪♪ 276 00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:26,064 [ Cape whooshes ] 277 00:11:26,099 --> 00:11:28,411 ♪♪ 278 00:11:28,446 --> 00:11:29,792 [ Grunts ] 279 00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:39,802 ♪♪ 280 00:11:39,837 --> 00:11:41,839 ♪♪ 281 00:11:41,873 --> 00:11:43,461 [ Choking ] 282 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,325 ♪♪ 283 00:11:45,359 --> 00:11:50,123 [ Deep voice ] Submit to the will of your lord and master. 284 00:11:51,469 --> 00:11:53,954 Nooooooooo! 285 00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,474 [ Dog barking, horn blares in distance ] 286 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,168 [ Scatting ] 287 00:12:04,482 --> 00:12:06,208 Oh, Jesus! 288 00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:09,211 AmBro! Don't sneak up on an old black man like that. 289 00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:10,764 What's wrong with you? 290 00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:13,284 Hey, I'm gonna need to disappear for a while. 291 00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:14,768 What's wrong, AmBro? 292 00:12:14,803 --> 00:12:17,012 There are some things happening -- crazy things. 293 00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:18,841 Like what, AmBro? 294 00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:20,222 Jesus. 295 00:12:20,256 --> 00:12:23,087 You know he's not who he says he is, right? 296 00:12:23,121 --> 00:12:26,021 -Jesus isn't Jesus? -No, of course not! 297 00:12:26,055 --> 00:12:28,195 You don't seriously believe he's Jesus, do ya? 298 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,404 Yeah. Who else can he be? 299 00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:31,785 I'm serious, Lloyd. 300 00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:34,167 I've seen him do things -- crazy things. 301 00:12:34,201 --> 00:12:35,893 Yeah, because he Jesus. 302 00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:37,342 I'm serious, man! 303 00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:38,550 I'm confused. 304 00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:41,899 Look at this. 305 00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:44,073 -Yeah, that's Jesus. -Yeah. 306 00:12:44,108 --> 00:12:46,938 Don't you see what this is? It's proof of aliens. 307 00:12:46,973 --> 00:12:48,837 [ Laughs ] 308 00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:50,942 You think Jesus is an alien? 309 00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:52,357 Yes! From Krypton! 310 00:12:52,392 --> 00:12:55,050 [ Laughs ] 311 00:12:55,084 --> 00:12:56,879 I've heard a lot of shit in my day... 312 00:12:56,914 --> 00:12:58,363 There's no other explanation. 313 00:12:58,398 --> 00:12:59,502 Yes, it is! 314 00:12:59,537 --> 00:13:01,228 He's Jesus. 315 00:13:01,263 --> 00:13:02,885 Ooh! Goodness. 316 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,611 I saw him lift a car, Lloyd. 317 00:13:04,645 --> 00:13:07,062 A car! By himself! 318 00:13:07,096 --> 00:13:09,064 What kind of stuff is that? 319 00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:10,065 I'm not crazy! 320 00:13:10,099 --> 00:13:11,929 -So? -"So"? 321 00:13:11,963 --> 00:13:15,449 Someone with that kind of power is too dangerous to live. 322 00:13:15,484 --> 00:13:17,072 Jesus isn't dangerous. 323 00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:20,144 He's just a meddling goody-two-shoe, divine being 324 00:13:20,178 --> 00:13:23,112 who ruin lives 'cause he wanna heal everybody. 325 00:13:23,147 --> 00:13:24,562 Everybody don't wanna be healed! 326 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,944 Okay, but what if he decides to turn against us? 327 00:13:26,978 --> 00:13:29,084 What if he decides to use that power for evil? 328 00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:32,259 If there's even just a 1% chance of that happening, 329 00:13:32,294 --> 00:13:33,605 then we got to kill him! 330 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,401 -Kill Jesus? -Yeah! 331 00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:39,404 You probably not the only person who's had that brilliant idea. 332 00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:42,269 Your job is to keep this building secure. 333 00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:46,446 I'm sorry, Lloyd. 334 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,586 Time to do my own thing. 335 00:13:50,484 --> 00:13:52,624 Everybody know it's you, AmBro. 336 00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:55,110 You got responsibilities here! 337 00:13:55,144 --> 00:13:57,526 Wow. [ Chuckles ] 338 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,942 That's some sober shit for me to say that time. 339 00:13:59,977 --> 00:14:02,082 "You got some responsibilities here." 340 00:14:02,117 --> 00:14:03,981 "You got responsibility here." 341 00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:05,016 [ Chuckles ] 342 00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:07,122 [ Indistinct talking ] 343 00:14:07,156 --> 00:14:13,991 ♪♪ 344 00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,544 I can't wait anymore, Jesus. 345 00:14:15,578 --> 00:14:18,892 Samuels: Yeah. This is clearly the sign of a disturbed mind. 346 00:14:18,927 --> 00:14:21,136 Can't believe I got to write a report on this. 347 00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:25,657 Dianne, look, I just need a little more time. 348 00:14:25,692 --> 00:14:27,487 I promise I'm-a get it right. I got it. 349 00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:29,558 [ Laughs ] "More time"? No. 350 00:14:29,592 --> 00:14:31,560 The man is going to kill somebody soon, 351 00:14:31,594 --> 00:14:33,631 and that's going to be on me and you, huh? 352 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,564 If you can't stop him, I'm gonna have to. 353 00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:37,117 Yo lo entiende que hacer. 354 00:14:37,152 --> 00:14:38,636 He's a good dude. 355 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:40,500 He just didn't get the psychological help 356 00:14:40,534 --> 00:14:42,157 he needed after the war. 357 00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:43,675 I mean, his is the story 358 00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:46,195 of so many underserved veterans in this country. 359 00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:48,197 You know that, Dianne! 360 00:14:48,232 --> 00:14:50,544 I try my best to help out, but it's like -- 361 00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:52,236 it's like he's scared of me. 362 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:54,169 Dude don't even believe I'm Jesus. 363 00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:57,068 [ Scoffs ] And who's he think you are, huh? Superman? 364 00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:01,072 [ Hispanic accent ] Superman. 365 00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:04,558 iPerfecto! 366 00:15:04,593 --> 00:15:06,112 ¿Qué?[ Man groans ] 367 00:15:06,146 --> 00:15:08,355 Can we get a paramedic over here for this guy?! 368 00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:09,943 [ Sighing ] Jesus. 369 00:15:09,978 --> 00:15:12,359 Next time, bring your sister, man. 370 00:15:12,394 --> 00:15:14,396 You know I always give her something extra. 371 00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,087 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 372 00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:19,159 ♪♪ 373 00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:21,092 [ Gruff voice ] ♪ Boonie 374 00:15:21,748 --> 00:15:23,094 AmBro? 375 00:15:23,129 --> 00:15:24,475 AmBro, is that you? 376 00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:26,339 No. It's not. 377 00:15:26,373 --> 00:15:28,203 I don't know who you're talking about. 378 00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:30,067 Man, it's obviously you. 379 00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:32,552 Hey, man, don't be coming over here with that crazy, man. 380 00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:35,037 I'm just selling my weed. I ain't messing with nobody. 381 00:15:35,072 --> 00:15:37,729 Man, don't come over here fucking with me. 382 00:15:37,764 --> 00:15:39,593 It's not the weed, Boonie. 383 00:15:39,628 --> 00:15:41,009 It's him. 384 00:15:42,596 --> 00:15:44,046 You think I'm playin'.[ Shotgun cocks ] 385 00:15:44,081 --> 00:15:45,565 Look, you better get your ass away from me 386 00:15:45,599 --> 00:15:47,429 'fore I shoot your crazy ass! 387 00:15:47,463 --> 00:15:50,570 You know the truth. He's got to be stopped, Boonie. 388 00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:52,952 Nigga, what is you talkin' about? 389 00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,437 Nigga, what the -- 390 00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:57,059 [ Gags ] 391 00:15:57,094 --> 00:15:59,751 Now, if I'm right, 392 00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:04,273 your savior should be here right about... 393 00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:05,757 Black Jesus: AmBro! 394 00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:08,657 Jesus! Get this crazy nigga up off me! 395 00:16:08,691 --> 00:16:10,279 Boonie, be quiet, man. 396 00:16:10,314 --> 00:16:13,248 AmBro, I'm not an alien from outer space, man. 397 00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:14,456 It's your boy! 398 00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:17,148 I know what -- [ Coughs ] 399 00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:19,771 [ Normal voice ] I know what I saw! 400 00:16:19,806 --> 00:16:23,154 They can call me crazy all they want, 401 00:16:23,189 --> 00:16:24,431 but I know what I saw! 402 00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:25,674 I'm not crazy! 403 00:16:25,708 --> 00:16:28,125 Crazy people always say that, AmBro. 404 00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:30,127 [ Grunts ] -Boonie, stop! Please! 405 00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:33,440 AmBro, AmBro, bud. You're not crazy, dawg. 406 00:16:33,475 --> 00:16:36,616 I'm Jesus Christ, the son of God. 407 00:16:36,650 --> 00:16:38,273 You're no God. 408 00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:41,586 You're just a Negro with silky hair from Krypton! 409 00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:43,174 And this... 410 00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:47,351 ...a little thing I invented in my laboratory, 411 00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:48,697 called the Krypto-Star. 412 00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:50,595 Hey, this nigga got a laboratory? 413 00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,184 Real stars dipped in kryptonite. 414 00:16:53,219 --> 00:16:55,152 Where do niggas get kryptonite from? 415 00:16:55,186 --> 00:16:58,189 From a website called This Is Real Kryptonite. 416 00:16:58,224 --> 00:16:59,501 Of course. 417 00:16:59,535 --> 00:17:02,331 This thing is guaranteed to seal your fate. 418 00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:04,437 Prepare to die, Superman! 419 00:17:04,471 --> 00:17:08,130 ♪♪ 420 00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,511 [ Slo-mo whooshing ] 421 00:17:09,545 --> 00:17:12,790 [ Slo-mo grunting ] 422 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,482 ♪♪ 423 00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,484 [ Shouts ] 424 00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:21,143 Hey! Fuck him up, Jesus! 425 00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:24,077 Come on, man! Give him that holy beatdown! 426 00:17:24,112 --> 00:17:26,390 Kick him with that hard-ass foot, Jesus! 427 00:17:26,424 --> 00:17:27,805 Toss his salad, Jesus! 428 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,531 [ Straining ] Get your little ass off me! 429 00:17:29,565 --> 00:17:31,326 [ Screams ] 430 00:17:34,225 --> 00:17:36,503 [ Angelic singing ] 431 00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:39,679 ♪♪ 432 00:17:39,713 --> 00:17:41,474 I knew it. 433 00:17:41,508 --> 00:17:42,682 I knew it! 434 00:17:42,716 --> 00:17:47,307 [ Deep voice ] AmBro, you are right. 435 00:17:47,342 --> 00:17:49,482 I am... 436 00:17:49,516 --> 00:17:51,518 Black Superman. 437 00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:55,522 Jesus Christ is my mild-mannered alter-ego. 438 00:17:55,557 --> 00:17:59,664 I mean no harm to the people of Earth. 439 00:17:59,699 --> 00:18:03,496 ♪♪ 440 00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:04,600 I knew it. 441 00:18:04,635 --> 00:18:06,533 I knew I wasn't crazy. 442 00:18:06,568 --> 00:18:09,329 So, you see, we on the same side. 443 00:18:09,364 --> 00:18:11,504 We all got to have our secret identities. 444 00:18:11,538 --> 00:18:13,885 I knew it. Wow! 445 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,578 O-Okay. Okay. I'm just glad I'm not crazy. 446 00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:19,684 No, bruh, you not crazy, but you do need some help. 447 00:18:19,719 --> 00:18:21,238 You been through a whole lot, AmBro, 448 00:18:21,272 --> 00:18:23,412 but right now, I'm gonna need the Compton Crusader 449 00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:24,896 to disappear for a little while -- 450 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:26,691 you know, 'til this thing blows over. 451 00:18:26,726 --> 00:18:28,935 You feel me? -Got it. 452 00:18:28,969 --> 00:18:31,696 Yo, but when the Compton Crusader comes back, 453 00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:33,319 we need to team up. 454 00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:35,562 We could be like the 'hood Justice League, man. 455 00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:37,150 We'll run this shit. 456 00:18:37,185 --> 00:18:38,772 But remember those secret identities. Shh! 457 00:18:38,807 --> 00:18:40,912 This spot is piping-hot right now, man, 458 00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:43,743 so we got to lay low while you go get some super-therapy. 459 00:18:43,777 --> 00:18:46,194 Got it, got it -- lay low, super-therapy. 460 00:18:46,228 --> 00:18:47,402 All right. 461 00:18:47,436 --> 00:18:49,473 Then we send our message. 462 00:18:49,507 --> 00:18:51,613 [ Laughs ] I like the way you think! 463 00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,580 ♪♪ 464 00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:55,375 [ Sighs ] 465 00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:56,790 [ Gruff voice ] Sorry, Boonie. 466 00:18:56,825 --> 00:18:59,310 ♪♪ 467 00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:01,278 Crusader -- out. 468 00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:05,247 Hey, so, uh, should I call you "Jesus" or "Superman"? 469 00:19:05,282 --> 00:19:06,662 [ Chuckling ] Come on, man. 470 00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:08,837 Let's get back on this corner and peddle this weed 471 00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:10,735 'fore your mama kick your ass. 472 00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:12,737 [ Chuckling ] 473 00:19:12,772 --> 00:19:20,745 ♪♪ 474 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:28,719 ♪♪ 475 00:19:28,753 --> 00:19:36,727 ♪♪ 476 00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:44,769 ♪♪