1 00:00:01,415 --> 00:00:04,211 [ Music playing, pool balls thudding ] 2 00:00:06,213 --> 00:00:09,561 [ Sighs ] Man, I tell you, Pops outdid himself 3 00:00:09,595 --> 00:00:11,287 when He created catfish. 4 00:00:11,321 --> 00:00:14,117 I mean, some people refer to them as bottom-feeders, 5 00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:17,362 but I refer to them as down-bottom delicacy. 6 00:00:17,396 --> 00:00:18,604 Mmm, mmm, mmm! 7 00:00:18,639 --> 00:00:21,607 Hey, all I know is His arch rival Lucifer 8 00:00:21,642 --> 00:00:25,439 outdid hisself with this "That Damn Devil" hot sauce. 9 00:00:25,473 --> 00:00:28,752 He -- he came up with this, babe. Boom. 10 00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:31,410 You do know that's just a company and a mascot, right? 11 00:00:31,445 --> 00:00:34,517 I mean, "That Damn Devil" ain't makin' no hot sauce. 12 00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:37,382 It was made with plants created by Pops on the fifth day. 13 00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:41,075 All I know is this is the most delicious, hottest sauce ever. 14 00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:43,077 [ Laughs ]And you can't find it everywhere. 15 00:00:43,112 --> 00:00:45,390 [ Laughs ] That's why a nigga keeps his own bottle with him. 16 00:00:45,424 --> 00:00:46,391 [ Laughs ] -Exclusive. 17 00:00:46,425 --> 00:00:48,289 Boy, is it. 18 00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:52,293 Hey, you notice Lloyd been acting funny lately? 19 00:00:52,328 --> 00:00:55,607 Oh, he's just mad 'cause he can't get drunk no more. 20 00:00:55,641 --> 00:00:57,436 I told him it wasn't even on me. 21 00:00:57,471 --> 00:00:59,680 Over there mad-doggin' and stuff. 22 00:00:59,714 --> 00:01:02,234 He know I still love his ass. Ain't that right, Lloyd? 23 00:01:02,269 --> 00:01:04,892 Did my ex-Lord and no-longer-my-savior 24 00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:07,136 say something? 25 00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,552 Oh! Boon! My P.O. 26 00:01:09,586 --> 00:01:11,278 You got Shalinka's keys? 27 00:01:11,312 --> 00:01:12,486 -Oh, yeah. I'm on it. -Come on, come on! 28 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,143 I got to go! I got to go! 29 00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:16,421 Oh. Hold up. 30 00:01:21,564 --> 00:01:23,255 Hey. Where that Devil? 31 00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,430 I don't know. I think you put it in your pocket. 32 00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:26,914 Probably fell out them baggy-ass 33 00:01:26,948 --> 00:01:28,778 track pants you got on. Heh, heh. 34 00:01:28,812 --> 00:01:31,746 Come on, Boon! We gonna be late, dawg! Come on! 35 00:01:31,781 --> 00:01:33,852 Damn. 36 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,165 Why you wearin' track pants, anyway? 37 00:01:36,199 --> 00:01:38,615 That's for runnin' niggas, not no damn wobblin'-ass niggas. 38 00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:40,721 Heh, heh, heh. 39 00:01:43,793 --> 00:01:46,796 [ Sniffs ] 40 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,487 [ Smacking lips ] 41 00:01:48,522 --> 00:01:49,868 [ Slurps ] Mmm! 42 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,698 Man. That Damn Devil ain't shit. 43 00:01:54,321 --> 00:01:55,805 Ah. It's all right. 44 00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:22,211 ♪♪ 45 00:02:22,245 --> 00:02:24,661 [ Drawer opens ] 46 00:02:24,696 --> 00:02:27,664 I am here to make a difference. 47 00:02:27,699 --> 00:02:29,321 To help people. 48 00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:30,736 I can make a difference. 49 00:02:30,771 --> 00:02:32,738 My job is a privilege, 50 00:02:32,773 --> 00:02:34,395 and I am so grateful for my profession. 51 00:02:34,430 --> 00:02:37,433 People pray every day to have a job like mine. 52 00:02:39,366 --> 00:02:40,712 Today's gonna be a good day. 53 00:02:40,746 --> 00:02:42,783 Man, you just a punk-ass P.O. 54 00:02:42,817 --> 00:02:45,406 You violatin' me? Why? 55 00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:46,787 The assault charge. 56 00:02:46,821 --> 00:02:49,859 I know where you and your boy band live, bitch. 57 00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:52,965 -Where do I live? -112 North Roscoe. 58 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,279 Okay, that's -- that's where I live. 59 00:02:56,314 --> 00:02:59,558 You tested positive for... 60 00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,250 everything. 61 00:03:02,043 --> 00:03:04,391 I...have... 62 00:03:04,425 --> 00:03:06,289 AIDS? 63 00:03:07,566 --> 00:03:09,534 I -- No. Or I don't know. 64 00:03:09,568 --> 00:03:11,294 How did I get AIDS?! 65 00:03:11,329 --> 00:03:14,228 Fuck this list! "Think positive" bullshit. 66 00:03:14,263 --> 00:03:16,575 Who the fuck decides to be a parole office, anyway, 67 00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:17,887 you fucking nerd? 68 00:03:17,921 --> 00:03:19,475 You ain't even a real cop, homey. 69 00:03:19,509 --> 00:03:23,444 Hope you choke on a bowl of dicks and die, motherfucker. 70 00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:25,515 Okay. [ Voice breaking ] Well, thank you for the feedback. 71 00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:27,655 Fuck you. 72 00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:31,038 Oh, God. 73 00:03:31,072 --> 00:03:33,040 Oh, Jesus. 74 00:03:33,074 --> 00:03:34,490 You called? 75 00:03:34,524 --> 00:03:37,251 Uh, no. I didn't. Uh... 76 00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:39,564 Are you smoking? No, um...never mind. 77 00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:40,910 Uh, please. Please, take a seat. 78 00:03:40,944 --> 00:03:41,945 [ Sniffles ] Um, Mister, uh...? 79 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,396 Christ. As in Jesus Christ. 80 00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:45,673 But you can call me Jee, 81 00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,572 big dawg in the robe, the light supreme, 82 00:03:47,606 --> 00:03:51,645 Mister Turn-One-Fish-Into-5,000- And-Feed-A-Whole-Family. 83 00:03:51,679 --> 00:03:53,440 It don't even matter what you call me, 84 00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:55,787 just as long as you call me. And you just did. 85 00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,754 What's happening, pimp? 86 00:03:57,789 --> 00:04:00,585 Well, gee...zus. 87 00:04:00,619 --> 00:04:02,414 Um...my name's Tyler. 88 00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:04,382 Praise be to you. Um... 89 00:04:04,416 --> 00:04:06,349 Let me find your file. -Hey, look, look. 90 00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:10,284 How about we put that on hold and we talk about your file? 91 00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:11,941 My file? 92 00:04:13,805 --> 00:04:16,808 Man, I know somebody got that shit, man. 93 00:04:16,842 --> 00:04:18,361 Nothing got turned in. 94 00:04:18,396 --> 00:04:20,018 That phone's not coming back, Boonie. 95 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,778 Damn. I liked that phone, man. 96 00:04:21,813 --> 00:04:24,056 That was the Kuba Flip 4. 97 00:04:24,091 --> 00:04:26,714 I can't figure out nothing after the Kuba Flip 4. 98 00:04:26,749 --> 00:04:29,959 Psh, eBay. Here. 99 00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:34,619 Look. 100 00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:36,310 That's my phone! 101 00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:38,968 Oh, yeah. They got a bunch of Kuba Flip 4's on here. 102 00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:42,005 Nah, look what I'm saying. That's my actual phone. 103 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,629 Look. That's my wallpaper. 104 00:04:44,663 --> 00:04:46,596 Is that a bottle of Darby? 105 00:04:46,631 --> 00:04:48,702 Lloyd! 106 00:04:48,736 --> 00:04:51,808 ...and I keep reaching out, but it -- 107 00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:53,672 it feels like no one's listening. 108 00:04:53,707 --> 00:04:56,641 Like this last guy, okay, he wanted me to choke to death 109 00:04:56,675 --> 00:04:58,332 on a bowl of dicks. 110 00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:00,507 Some people need more motivation, man. 111 00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:03,475 But at the end of the day, all that counts 112 00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:04,925 is what's in your heart. 113 00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:07,824 And as long as that's right, Pops is with you. 114 00:05:07,859 --> 00:05:10,413 He riding with you, and he gonna lead your way. 115 00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:12,691 But, uh, [clears throat] this New Compton Gardens, 116 00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:15,556 at this number, that's the best place to reach you? 117 00:05:15,591 --> 00:05:17,006 That's the homeboy Boonie. 118 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,422 Call that number any time. I'm always with Boone. 119 00:05:19,457 --> 00:05:21,079 He know how to get ahold of your boy. 120 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:24,393 So, uh, Jesus has a son named Boonie? 121 00:05:24,427 --> 00:05:26,981 No! [ Chuckles ] No kids for Jesus. 122 00:05:27,016 --> 00:05:30,053 Naw, Pops would kill me...again. 123 00:05:30,088 --> 00:05:33,367 And, for real, that wasn't no fun the first time, pimp. 124 00:05:33,402 --> 00:05:36,888 How 'bout we just say this -- next time, fuck that kiosk. 125 00:05:36,922 --> 00:05:38,510 I'm just gonna come up in here and holla at you. 126 00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:40,374 Cool? 127 00:05:40,409 --> 00:05:41,858 All right. 128 00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:43,688 -[ Chuckles ] -[ Chuckles ] 129 00:05:43,722 --> 00:05:46,138 Ooh! Okay. 130 00:05:49,072 --> 00:05:50,798 Hey, Louis! What's up, pimp? 131 00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:52,869 Hey, you better get that cholesterol down 132 00:05:52,904 --> 00:05:54,146 or you gonna die, dawg! 133 00:05:54,181 --> 00:05:56,977 [ Laughs ][ Siren wailing ] 134 00:05:57,011 --> 00:05:58,530 [ Heavenly music plays ]Damn, fool! 135 00:05:58,565 --> 00:06:00,187 -Huh? -Hey fuck you! 136 00:06:00,221 --> 00:06:02,879 Christ lives matter, motherfucker. 137 00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:17,756 ♪♪ 138 00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:30,217 ♪♪ 139 00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:33,116 ♪♪ 140 00:06:33,151 --> 00:06:35,533 [ Door closes ] 141 00:06:37,086 --> 00:06:38,570 Ohh, man. 142 00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:41,228 I shoulda known. I shoulda known. 143 00:06:41,262 --> 00:06:44,507 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 144 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:45,922 Yep. 145 00:06:52,826 --> 00:06:55,173 [ Lock, bolt cutters clatter ] 146 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:59,833 ♪♪ 147 00:06:59,867 --> 00:07:01,938 Oh, this fool here... 148 00:07:01,973 --> 00:07:04,113 He's stealing stuff! 149 00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:07,910 ♪♪ 150 00:07:07,944 --> 00:07:11,879 Man, what the hell? 151 00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:14,468 What's this? This... 152 00:07:16,505 --> 00:07:20,647 Oh, this motherfucker This mother... 153 00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:21,958 [ Sighs ] 154 00:07:21,993 --> 00:07:24,651 ♪ Get your hands up 155 00:07:24,685 --> 00:07:29,656 ♪♪ 156 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:32,003 [ Chuckles ] Tyler! 157 00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,039 What's happening, pimp? 158 00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:36,145 I mean, that's a dedicated P.O. right there, 159 00:07:36,179 --> 00:07:37,629 you know what I'm talkin' about? 160 00:07:37,664 --> 00:07:40,045 The boy making house calls and things. 161 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,634 Hey, so to what do I owe the honor, pimp? 162 00:07:42,669 --> 00:07:44,809 Uh, look... 163 00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:46,673 I believe you. 164 00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:47,984 What you talking about, pimp? 165 00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:50,815 [ Sighs ] I believe you're Jesus. 166 00:07:50,849 --> 00:07:51,988 I-I-I saw you get hit by that car 167 00:07:52,023 --> 00:07:53,196 when you were leaving the office. 168 00:07:53,231 --> 00:07:55,233 Oh, snap! You saw that, huh? 169 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,821 -Yeah. -You saw that, right? 170 00:07:56,855 --> 00:07:58,305 -Yeah. -Pops is dope, right? 171 00:07:58,339 --> 00:07:59,271 Yeah, I... 172 00:07:59,306 --> 00:08:01,066 Actually, I kind of feel like this changes 173 00:08:01,101 --> 00:08:02,758 the course of my life forever. 174 00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:04,518 It does, home-bolio! 175 00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,555 And your afterlife, too, pimp. 176 00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:08,211 This here is cause for celebration. 177 00:08:08,246 --> 00:08:09,316 Yeah, okay. 178 00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:11,663 Smoke yours, man. You got some weed? 179 00:08:11,698 --> 00:08:14,701 Oh, no. Uh, not, uh -- not on me. I'm at work. 180 00:08:14,735 --> 00:08:16,772 -You got some cash? -Yeah. Yeah, I got cash. 181 00:08:16,806 --> 00:08:17,807 Come on. Let's get some weed. 182 00:08:17,842 --> 00:08:20,016 Uh, okay. 183 00:08:22,605 --> 00:08:25,608 Cassandra: Are you sure this is all right? 184 00:08:25,643 --> 00:08:27,990 Like, just socializing with your clients like this? 185 00:08:28,024 --> 00:08:29,543 [ Sighs ] Who knows? 186 00:08:29,578 --> 00:08:30,717 [ Giggles ] 187 00:08:30,751 --> 00:08:33,029 It's fine. Uh... I don't know. 188 00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:36,205 I just... I really want you to meet him. 189 00:08:36,239 --> 00:08:37,724 Okay. 190 00:08:37,758 --> 00:08:40,071 Okay. I just... 191 00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:43,281 I'm still wrapping my head around this. 192 00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:46,940 But I love you, and if it's important to you, 193 00:08:46,974 --> 00:08:48,942 then I want to explore it with you.Thank you, sweetie. 194 00:08:48,976 --> 00:08:50,806 -Okay? -Mm-hmm. Okay. 195 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,153 [ Knock on door ]Oh. I'll get it. 196 00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:59,159 [ Chuckles ] -Cassandra! So nice to -- 197 00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:00,194 -Oh... -Oh, okay. 198 00:09:00,229 --> 00:09:01,782 -So nice to meet you! -Yeah. 199 00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:05,061 Well, I already know you, 'cause I am Jesus, you dig? 200 00:09:05,096 --> 00:09:06,580 Tyler, what's happening? 201 00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:09,100 I see you up in here living like a boss, pimp. 202 00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:10,342 Come here. Give it to me. -Okay. 203 00:09:10,377 --> 00:09:12,310 -Give it to me. -Oh-kay! Oh, yeah. 204 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,657 What's up? How you been, playboy? 205 00:09:14,692 --> 00:09:15,900 I'm good. Right, hon? 206 00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:18,074 -Yeah. -[ Gasps ] 207 00:09:18,109 --> 00:09:21,008 The Kuba people of the Congo! 208 00:09:21,043 --> 00:09:22,734 That one is sweet. 209 00:09:22,769 --> 00:09:25,910 You got so many dope African artifacts 210 00:09:25,944 --> 00:09:27,187 and souvenirs in here -- 211 00:09:27,221 --> 00:09:28,671 Ooh, I really dig that 212 00:09:28,706 --> 00:09:30,777 from all your travels to our Africa. 213 00:09:30,811 --> 00:09:33,711 'Cause I know you went down there, and you fed the hungry, 214 00:09:33,745 --> 00:09:36,610 you dig, and you also helped feed and clothe 215 00:09:36,645 --> 00:09:38,267 the homeless brothers and sisters down there. 216 00:09:38,301 --> 00:09:40,821 I really appreciate that. Girl, give me some. 217 00:09:40,856 --> 00:09:42,927 Give me some. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 218 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:44,998 And that's why I knew you wouldn't trip if I brought 219 00:09:45,032 --> 00:09:46,344 one of my poor, unfed partners with me 220 00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,208 to celebrate this occasion with us. 221 00:09:48,242 --> 00:09:50,175 Tyler, Cassandra, this is Boonie. 222 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:52,350 Boonie, this is my parole officer, Tyler, 223 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,628 and his girl, Cassandra, who's really into the 224 00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:57,044 whole Africa, feed-the-world thing. 225 00:09:57,079 --> 00:09:59,150 Good lady. -Anyway, hey. What's up. 226 00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:00,945 Can you point me to the bathroom? 227 00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:02,981 'Cause I got to take a shit real bad. 228 00:10:03,016 --> 00:10:05,743 I mean, I know we just met, and I hate to walk right up 229 00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:08,124 into your house and hit you with this bad news 230 00:10:08,159 --> 00:10:09,816 about tearing up your bathroom, 231 00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:11,818 but you know how it is. [ Chuckles ] You know. 232 00:10:11,852 --> 00:10:14,648 Unless Jesus can make the shit go away for a couple of hours, 233 00:10:14,683 --> 00:10:16,270 then I don't have to use they bathroom? 234 00:10:16,305 --> 00:10:18,445 [ Slurps, chewing loudly ] 235 00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:21,690 That's on Pops. 236 00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:24,727 Nope. [ Chuckles ] I still got to shit. 237 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,870 How long has he been in there? 238 00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:32,355 Is he ever coming out? 239 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,392 [ Toilet flushes ]Boonie's a big-ass man. 240 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,463 I mean, big man mean big turds. 241 00:10:36,497 --> 00:10:38,741 Plus, his diet is all messed up. 242 00:10:38,776 --> 00:10:40,225 He been eating a lot of fish sandwiches 243 00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:41,468 and gummy worms lately. 244 00:10:41,502 --> 00:10:43,056 That can't come out easy. 245 00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:44,713 [ Exhales deeply ] Boy, hey. 246 00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:47,198 Well, y'all bathroom like a damn resort. 247 00:10:47,232 --> 00:10:49,027 I couldn't just throw these back on 248 00:10:49,062 --> 00:10:52,237 and contaminate a clean ass with some dirty drawers. 249 00:10:52,272 --> 00:10:55,378 Can I -- Can I put these in your washer? Ours is broke. 250 00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:59,106 [ African music playing ] 251 00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:02,247 Damn. Y'all got a lot of African shit. 252 00:11:02,282 --> 00:11:04,284 Well, I lived in Nairobi for two years, 253 00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:06,907 and I have such a strong interest in the culture. 254 00:11:06,942 --> 00:11:09,427 So -- so we have all this stuff. [ Laughs ] 255 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:12,050 Hey, so tell me something -- Does Africa stink? 256 00:11:12,085 --> 00:11:15,709 [ Chuckles ] I'm just saying, like, I always imagined Africa 257 00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:17,918 to be mustier than a motherfucker. 258 00:11:17,953 --> 00:11:20,956 That is really offensive. Africa is so beautiful. 259 00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:23,821 Oh, well, you know, you can have it if you want it. 260 00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:25,270 Motherfucker like me, I need some pavement 261 00:11:25,305 --> 00:11:26,824 to walk on [chuckling] you know? 262 00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:29,205 I can't -- I can't fuck with all that dirt 263 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,138 and monkey shit. [ Laughs ] 264 00:11:31,173 --> 00:11:33,278 Hey, Tyler, I think it's cool that your girl 265 00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:34,901 is into the negroid arts. 266 00:11:34,935 --> 00:11:36,799 You know, she gonna help me find a white bitch. 267 00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:39,733 [ Laughs ] White bitches don't stress you out 268 00:11:39,768 --> 00:11:41,286 like Black women, you know? 269 00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:43,426 Man, you ever had any Black pussy? 270 00:11:43,461 --> 00:11:44,738 Uh... [ Clears throat ] 271 00:11:44,773 --> 00:11:47,430 I -- Well, I-I -- I have, um, dated 272 00:11:47,465 --> 00:11:49,432 an African-American woman before. 273 00:11:49,467 --> 00:11:51,745 Hey, so look, which one you like 274 00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,264 going down on? Them or white bitches? 275 00:11:53,298 --> 00:11:54,817 You know, 'cause I'm just trying to figure it out, 276 00:11:54,852 --> 00:11:56,543 'cause let me tell you, them white bitches, 277 00:11:56,577 --> 00:11:57,993 they throw it back at you. 278 00:11:58,027 --> 00:11:59,960 [ Laughs ] Right in your mouth. 279 00:11:59,995 --> 00:12:02,480 [ Laughs ] 280 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,758 What the fuck is your problem? 281 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:08,451 Can you please stop saying the word "white bitch"? 282 00:12:08,486 --> 00:12:10,246 Uh, Caucasian bitch. 283 00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:13,008 -[ Sighs ] -Just stop saying "bitch." 284 00:12:13,042 --> 00:12:16,425 You know what, Cassandra, I don't like that word, either. 285 00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:18,185 Don't like it. Really don't. 286 00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:20,049 It's actually deplorable. -Oh. 287 00:12:20,084 --> 00:12:21,948 Well, you didn't seem to have a problem with it 288 00:12:21,982 --> 00:12:25,848 when he said it about 18 times in the last 31 seconds, so... 289 00:12:25,883 --> 00:12:28,195 I'm Jesus. I hear that type of language all the time. 290 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:29,541 Don't phase me, though. 291 00:12:29,576 --> 00:12:31,854 Oh, so blatant sexism doesn't phase you? 292 00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:34,857 Saying an entire continent of people stink doesn't phase you. 293 00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:37,308 You're supposed to be Jesus, and you hang out 294 00:12:37,342 --> 00:12:40,173 with lowlifes like this? 295 00:12:40,207 --> 00:12:41,450 Exactly! 296 00:12:41,484 --> 00:12:43,141 [ Both laugh ]Much love, brother. 297 00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,867 Good folks right here. Good people. 298 00:12:44,902 --> 00:12:47,145 I'm finna just go ahead and roll this blunt. 299 00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:48,560 Ooh, twist a fat one. 300 00:12:48,595 --> 00:12:51,978 You are a disgusting, contemptible, 301 00:12:52,012 --> 00:12:56,845 deplorable, racist, misogynist piece of human filth. 302 00:12:56,879 --> 00:12:59,054 Do you say that because I'm Black or -- 303 00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:01,125 Tyler, I want these people the fuck out of my house! 304 00:13:01,159 --> 00:13:02,574 -So no white bitches? -Go! 305 00:13:02,609 --> 00:13:04,369 Jesus: Okay, Cassandra. God bless y'all. 306 00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:06,371 You got a beautiful home, though. 307 00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:11,998 No, no, no! 308 00:13:12,032 --> 00:13:15,449 My ill-gotten gains are gone! 309 00:13:15,484 --> 00:13:18,970 No! Oh, boy. 310 00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:22,146 Oh, Lord. 311 00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:24,079 Thou shalt not steal, Lloyd. 312 00:13:24,113 --> 00:13:27,530 You mean the way you stole the joy of my drunken inebriation? 313 00:13:27,565 --> 00:13:29,878 Huh? Lookit, Jesus. Look at this. 314 00:13:29,912 --> 00:13:32,225 Look at this. 315 00:13:32,259 --> 00:13:35,055 No buzz. I can drink all I want. 316 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:37,920 And that little petty-ass thievery for re-sale, 317 00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:40,578 at least I felt I was trying to do something for people. 318 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:43,167 And my eBay merchant ratings, 319 00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:44,375 oh, it's really gonna eat shit. 320 00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:47,240 Eat shit! Eat shit! 321 00:13:47,274 --> 00:13:49,483 You know what that means? Eat shit! 322 00:13:49,518 --> 00:13:52,141 Eat shit, Jesus! 323 00:13:52,176 --> 00:13:54,005 Eat shit! 324 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:57,595 So his grimy ass was flipping it all on eBay 325 00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,425 and making a killing. That's messed up. 326 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:03,256 My stupid ass out here stealing rims. 327 00:14:03,290 --> 00:14:05,396 This must be where the money really is. 328 00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:08,295 If dumb, drunk Lloyd can do it, I can. 329 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,401 So, what you gonna do with it? 330 00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:13,404 Uh... finders, keepers. 331 00:14:13,438 --> 00:14:15,095 Hey, you want a jPad? 332 00:14:15,130 --> 00:14:16,579 Oh. 333 00:14:18,478 --> 00:14:20,273 Aren't you going to work? Do you need to take a shower? 334 00:14:20,307 --> 00:14:24,449 [ Sighs ] I was just thinking, um... 335 00:14:24,484 --> 00:14:26,624 Maybe that job isn't for me. [ Scoffs ] 336 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,971 Is this about your "hood" Jesus? 337 00:14:29,006 --> 00:14:30,904 What the fuck is your problem?! 338 00:14:30,939 --> 00:14:32,595 Of all the made-up Jesuses, you had to find 339 00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:34,632 the most fucked up one of all. 340 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,566 And where's the proof, huh? I didn't see any miracles. 341 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,982 He is not a fake. 342 00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:42,295 And you know what, maybe -- maybe you are racist. 343 00:14:42,329 --> 00:14:44,987 Huh? Denying the Black son of God? 344 00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:47,438 You know what, I'm not gonna force this on you any more. 345 00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,612 I will explore it on my own. 346 00:14:49,647 --> 00:14:51,718 I know what I saw. 347 00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:54,963 I saw a miracle![ Door closes ] 348 00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:57,448 ♪ Come on and put your hands up ♪ 349 00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,277 [ Car locks beep ] 350 00:14:59,312 --> 00:15:06,319 ♪♪ 351 00:15:06,353 --> 00:15:09,287 Fellas. 352 00:15:09,322 --> 00:15:11,496 Bonnie: Hey, Jesus, the white boy here, man. 353 00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:13,464 Hey, uh, I would offer you something, 354 00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:16,639 but we don't have things like food. 355 00:15:16,674 --> 00:15:18,607 Uh, you want a jPad? 356 00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:21,437 -Uh, yeah. Sure thing. -All right. 357 00:15:21,472 --> 00:15:23,301 Last night was, uh, fun. 358 00:15:23,336 --> 00:15:26,270 But did Cassandra have a good time, though? 359 00:15:26,304 --> 00:15:28,203 Hey, she a solid young lady, man. 360 00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:30,032 You better keep her on your team. 361 00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,690 Plus, she know all about the motherland. [ Chuckles ] 362 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,519 Yeah. Um... matter of fact, 363 00:15:34,554 --> 00:15:37,384 I might need to crash here a few nights, 364 00:15:37,419 --> 00:15:38,627 if that's all right with you guys. 365 00:15:38,661 --> 00:15:39,973 Oh, man, for sure. 366 00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:42,700 You already know, man, that's nothing, man. 367 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,702 Check it out. It be like that sometimes. 368 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,187 Look, mi casa es su casa. 369 00:15:47,222 --> 00:15:49,327 Well, Boonie casa is su casa. 370 00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:51,605 You get it, pimp. [ Chuckles ] 371 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,021 Uh... 372 00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:54,712 Listen, Jesus. 373 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,232 I was thinking, and... 374 00:15:57,266 --> 00:15:59,061 I'm ready to commit. 375 00:15:59,096 --> 00:16:02,202 To -- To this. To you. 376 00:16:02,237 --> 00:16:04,515 I want to love life, too. 377 00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:06,206 That's what I'm talking about. 378 00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:08,381 Well, let's find it, then, pimp! 379 00:16:08,415 --> 00:16:10,521 Hey, look, me and Boonie was just about to go to the store 380 00:16:10,555 --> 00:16:12,557 to get some more blunts and libations. 381 00:16:12,592 --> 00:16:14,697 Man, we about to light this motherfucker up! 382 00:16:14,732 --> 00:16:16,596 Smoke! Take it in. 383 00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:19,392 Feel God's love all through your lungs. 384 00:16:19,426 --> 00:16:22,257 Breathe in love. Breathe out the hate. 385 00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:30,230 ♪♪ 386 00:16:30,265 --> 00:16:32,025 [ Echoing ] Feel it. Hit it. 387 00:16:34,752 --> 00:16:36,754 [ Normal voice ] You feel God's love? 388 00:16:37,582 --> 00:16:39,412 Pass me my shit, man. You holdin' it too long. 389 00:16:39,446 --> 00:16:41,069 [ Coughing ] Sorry. 390 00:16:41,103 --> 00:16:47,178 ♪♪ 391 00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,422 [ Coughs ] -Morning, pimp! 392 00:16:49,456 --> 00:16:50,595 -[ Groans ] -What's happenin'? 393 00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:51,769 [ Chuckles ] 394 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,288 Morning. 395 00:16:53,322 --> 00:16:56,429 I had this dream we were dodging gunshots 396 00:16:56,463 --> 00:16:58,741 in a car chase with the cops. 397 00:16:58,776 --> 00:17:00,398 For some reason, they only let us go 398 00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:01,779 after they took my pants. 399 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,713 Them cops, they really dug them trousers, dawg. 400 00:17:04,747 --> 00:17:07,267 [ Chuckles ] I'm telling you, pimp, 401 00:17:07,302 --> 00:17:08,786 this life ain't for everybody. 402 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,616 But we did get to save some souls last night -- 403 00:17:11,651 --> 00:17:15,103 Yes, we did -- in a major way. 404 00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:18,451 Hey, new guy! Feel like making a coffee run? 405 00:17:18,485 --> 00:17:20,073 [ Chuckles ] 406 00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:22,489 [ Indistinct chatter ] 407 00:17:24,595 --> 00:17:27,632 [ Tires squeal ] 408 00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:29,841 [ Car doors close ] 409 00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:34,605 You stole my jPad, fucker. 410 00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:36,331 What? Whoa! I did not! 411 00:17:36,365 --> 00:17:38,643 Get him! 412 00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:40,645 Stop! Stop! I'm sorry! 413 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,475 Jesus! 414 00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:45,167 [ Tire iron clatters ] 415 00:17:45,202 --> 00:17:47,204 Why did you guys give me a stolen jPad? 416 00:17:47,238 --> 00:17:49,171 That "find my phone" app nearly cost me my life. 417 00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:51,277 Man, you just scared this condom off me. 418 00:17:51,311 --> 00:17:52,830 And I didn't steal it! 419 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,489 I-I got the stash of the person who did steal it. 420 00:17:56,523 --> 00:17:58,284 And where's my coffee? 421 00:17:58,318 --> 00:18:02,115 Coffee?! No. No, no, no, no, no. This is crazy. 422 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:04,428 I-I don't get it. Why do you guys do this? 423 00:18:04,462 --> 00:18:05,808 What is the point? 424 00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:08,156 We ask ourselves that all the time. 425 00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:10,192 But it's supposed to pay off one day. 426 00:18:10,227 --> 00:18:12,298 And it will. It paid off for Fish. 427 00:18:12,332 --> 00:18:15,197 It paid off for Maggie. It paid off for Trayvon. 428 00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:17,682 They all went on to better lives through me. 429 00:18:17,717 --> 00:18:19,719 It pays every day for eternity 430 00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:22,825 to stay down with your Heavenly Father, pimp. 431 00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:25,207 Basically, when you're dead. 432 00:18:25,242 --> 00:18:26,829 I can't wait that long. 433 00:18:26,864 --> 00:18:31,248 Tyler, Pops works through us all in mysterious ways. 434 00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:33,526 And, by the way, He told me He already gave you 435 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,700 the tools it takes to be great at that job 436 00:18:35,735 --> 00:18:37,219 and change the world. 437 00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:39,704 All you got to do is trust your instincts. 438 00:18:41,499 --> 00:18:44,364 Baby, if the Black Jesus has helped you see 439 00:18:44,399 --> 00:18:48,368 that you can make a real difference at your job, then... 440 00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:50,405 I guess I was wrong about him. 441 00:18:50,439 --> 00:18:52,200 [ Sighs ] 442 00:18:53,339 --> 00:18:55,720 [ Intercom buzzes ]Meghann, send in my first. 443 00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:59,172 Hey, hey. Hold up, cuz. 444 00:18:59,207 --> 00:19:00,898 Let me at him real quick. 445 00:19:04,281 --> 00:19:05,868 Hey, Tyler. 446 00:19:05,903 --> 00:19:07,422 I was all wrong, homey. 447 00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:08,871 All that "think positive" nonsense 448 00:19:08,906 --> 00:19:11,564 landed my Black ass a job, homey. 449 00:19:11,598 --> 00:19:12,910 It did? 450 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,223 That's great! 451 00:19:15,257 --> 00:19:17,225 Uh, what are -- what are you doing? 452 00:19:17,259 --> 00:19:19,503 Beating up motherfuckers at the Glam Gam Bikini Bar 453 00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:21,229 if they fuck with the girls. 454 00:19:21,263 --> 00:19:24,335 Bitches really appreciate my ass now. 455 00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:26,441 'Cause of your ass! 456 00:19:28,028 --> 00:19:29,996 Hey, come here, homey. 457 00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,411 Hey. 458 00:19:31,446 --> 00:19:34,242 You see this white -- 459 00:19:34,276 --> 00:19:35,553 this dude right here? 460 00:19:35,588 --> 00:19:37,728 Listen to him. He'll set you straight. 461 00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:39,557 All right. 462 00:19:39,592 --> 00:19:41,870 You're still a fucking nerd. 463 00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:48,428 [ Heavenly music plays ] 464 00:19:48,463 --> 00:19:49,774 Thanks, Jesus. 465 00:19:49,809 --> 00:19:51,914 The name's Jesus. [hey-zoos]