♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Come on, the one and only ♪
Woman: I've never seen anything like it.
♪♪
Oh, hey! I have an all-new nose,
thanks to a little bit of silicone.
I'm in disguise. We're at the Jolly Pumpkin.
I'm a server. We have friends who set up their friends.
We're gonna have them sit down for a tasting.
They're gonna walk away and ditch them,
leave them alone, and I'm gonna be their server.
I think we're ready.
Hey. Oh, you already did it?
Okay, thanks.
-All right. -What are we dealing with here?
You got a deep-dish pizza. This is double-deep-dish.
San Marzano tomatoes and Roma tomatoes, stewed 24 hours.
Okay.
It's like having a deep-dish pizza,
but it's slow-cooked. -I gotcha.
Deepest dish you could get in Chicago.
-All right. -So.
You don't just cut us a cut,
you put this whole big bad boy in front of us?
Well, I can't complain. -That's right. That's right.
You guys, you'll get through it. Trust me.
All right.
That looks good. Thank you.
You from Chicago?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm born and raised.
But north of here, so this was a little bit of a drive, but --
Yeah. Oh, the crust is a little tough to get through there.
Oh, that's all right. Get in there.
Yeah, get in there. Stuck in there.
-Hang on one second there. -No worries, no worries.
I'm just gonna -- Give me one minute.
Whatever. I'll wait. No big deal.
Uh...
Don't sweat the small stuff, man.
Yeah. All right, just give me one sec.
I'm gonna get a thing so we don't have to -- a scooper.
I should've used a scooper instead of a --
No worries. Whatever.
Let me get a scooper for the deep-dish.
Just the regular pizza thing's not gonna be enough for it.
♪♪
That thing went all the way down.
-What's that? -That went all the way down.
I couldn't even save it. I don't even know where it went.
-Come on. -I swear to God.
I'm not kidding you. -Come on.
Right hand to God, I'm not [bleep] with you.
Not at all. -What'd you do with it?
Swear to -- Swear to God. I watched the thing drop down.
I think...
You watched it drop down from where?
True story, the thing went right straight down.
The thing went right straight down in here?
Straight down. Straight down.
Is there something -- I'm like -- it was kind of weird!
Yeah.
I'm like, "How do I explain it to him?"
The thing sunk. Where is it?
Is it -- Did you see it? -Yeah. Yeah, there --
It must've gone through the side or something.
Wait, there's -- Is there any -- Can you --
No, there's no --
Oh, my God. So it's in there.
Hmm. That is so strange.
Man, I am telling you, I mean,
it did not look like it went to the side.
It looked like it went straight down.
-Okay. -I'm like, I wonder --
Yeah, I'm sorry I'm using my fingers here.
That's all right. You're getting a new one at this point, right?
Look, I'll get you a new pizza. I feel terrible.
I'll see if I can get -- There we go.
Okay. That's what it was. The tomato wasn't cooked.
Yeah. I'm sorry.
Oh, my God. No, that's a funny [bleep] thing.
-That's my -- That's my -- -How did the, uh --
-That's what they call that. -We can still eat this.
Of course, yeah. We'll cut half of it.
You could eat the other half. -Who cares?
We're not gonna eat half a pizza.
It's still delicious. I did stick my hand through it.
Nah, you stuck your hand through it.
It's fine. No, this'll be fine.
Give it a try, right? It's really good.
Oh.
Who doesn't love pizza cooked --
-Wait -- glasses. -Oh, what's --
I am so sorry.
Wow.
No, we're not eating this one, bud.
Okay. That's the chef's glasses.
He's been pretending that he had contacts in today,
and I knew it.
And that's why he didn't cook that.
Just give me a second.
Wow.
Welcome to the Jolly Pumpkin.
Here you go. It's two of you?
-Yes. -Okay, great.
I'll bring a salad when your guest comes back.
-Excellent. Excellent. -Thank you. Okay, great.
Oh, here.
Let me get you some croutons for your salad.
All right, buddy.
Yeah, we make them fresh.
We want you to be jolly at the Jolly Pumpkin, so.
-Of course. -Okay, here you go.
Yeah, we've been making them fresh here
because when you buy the boxed ones...
Here we go.
There you are. Do you mind?
Yeah, no. That's great.
-There you go. -Thank you.
All right. Fresh-made croutons for you.
You ever have them fresh-made before?
No, I, uh --
It's great. They come out really toasty.
It's like -- you know, like fresh toast
versus having toast sitting out at a diner
or something for a really long time, so.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. So, a little olive oil and vinegar for your bread?
-Yeah. Yeah. That'd be great. -You got it.
Okay. We do that handmade here,
with this side the olive, facing there.
There we go. Okay. Got a little squeeze.
There we got.
Here, slide that a little.
Great.
That's gonna be the tastiest olive oil you ever had.
That's -- Yeah. That's -- How -- A lot.
Well, you have to do the olives first in oil.
And then after the absorb it, then we put them in water.
And that distills the brine inside the olive.
So then it makes a perfect -- And you can even smell.
Smell that.
Oh, wow.
These are really delicious.
All right. Got a little oily, but that's just
the one little thing you want to keep is the pit...
...from the olive oil.
There you go.
Huh.
You can taste that if you like.
It's great. -Yeah, no, that'd be great.
Usually, you break bread and kind of smear it inside.
Yeah, of course.
And...
...enjoy that.
I'll be back.
You guys doing all right?
♪♪
This is one of our chef's new specialities.
It is a molten double-espresso mocha chocolate
fudge brownie cake.
Ooh, I'll have the pounds on the hips.
It's made with Swiss milk chocolate
and dark chocolate together --
German dark chocolate and Swiss chocolate together.
And with two chocolates together, when you cut into it,
actually make a chemical reaction.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
So just by cutting a tiny bit --
There we go, like this.
-Mm-hmm. -There we go.
Cut a tiny little piece,
it'll break the two layers of chocolate.
-Okay. There we go. -Okay, there we go.
-They combine together. -Oh, my gosh.
And you get an oozing chocolate eruption.
-Ooh. -Ooh, that is a lot.
Yeah, that's a lot. Oh, my gosh.
That is a lot.
Sorry. You might want to move your purse there.
Sorry. -That's a --
That's a whole lot. -Let's let it --
Let's let it finish, 'cause it just --
Oh, 'cause it just keeps oozing out.
I'm sorry that it's on the table there.
That kind of got -- All right.
Now, our pastry chef --
They need to put that in a bigger --
a deep, yeah. -A bigger plate.
Let me get, uh --
Let me see if I can get a bigger plate.
One second. -Okay.
No, don't -- Yeah, watch your hand.
-Okay. -Do you have a bigger plate?
The chocolate -- You know the mo--
Yeah. Sorry. Is it still going?
-Yep, it's still going. -Okay, I'm gonna need --
Let me try -- Let me try and get it out of here.
Okay, okay. Um, this is --
Oh, boy. -It's swimming in chocolate.
Okay, here we go. Great, okay. I am so sorry.
Well, I guess we'll get another one of those too, huh?
Yes, let me get you -- Yeah, it's still going here.
-It's still -- Oh. -It's still going, still going.
-It's still going. -Let me, uh -- I am so sorry.
Okay. Let me get a few napkins here.
My apologies. That is not supposed to ooze.
-Oh, wow. Oh, wow. -That is not supposed to ooze.
Supposed to do a little bit of chocolate, and then --
-But this one just -- -It just kept going.
It has -- It's supposed to have a raspberry eruption.
Oh.
Where the two chocolates come together.
Yes.
It is delicious. I will be honest with you,
it is absolutely delicious. -Okay.
When it comes back out, we'll be able to taste it.
-I'll bring you a new one, okay? -Okay.
You didn't even get to see the fire finish.
Right, I didn't.
It has, like, a fire finish, usually.
-Ooh. Oh! -Did that go?
-Yes, it did. -Whoa!
-There it goes. -Well, okay.
There it goes. I think that --
That's, um -- that one's malfunctioned.
That one's mal-- It's supposed to go off after you eat it.
-What? -So when you're finished...
-Then it goes off. -...then it goes off.
It must've thought we were done.
-Yep, and it -- -'Cause I cut it open.
All right, let me get you another one of those.
-Oh, okay. -And a mop.
I will be right back. -Okay.
-My sincere apologies. -Okay.
All right. -I'm so sorry.
Shapeni!
♪♪
Goodness me, I am so terribly sorry.
Seems -- The chef just said
that I was supposed to cut from the other side,
'cause the air gets to it too quickly.
You cut it from --
I always forget, counter-clockwise,
clockwise when I bring it to the table...
-Oh. -...to present, north-south,
just because it's gonna be a chemical reaction.
Hmm.
So all the chocolate came out first,
then the raspberry came out.
-Yeah. -But it should --
-And then -- -Then --
Flambé. Good, yeah. Sounds tasty, right?
It does, no. It sounds like it would be really good.
-It would be, if it did -- -It would be, right.
It would be. -I cut from the wrong side,
and it caused the Carbonaro Effect.
Okay.
You never heard of the Carbonaro Effect?
No.
Do you know "The Carbonaro Effect"
is the name of a hidden-camera magic TV show...
like the one you're on right now.
-[ Laughs ] -John set you up.
I'm like, "Why's he taking so long?"
He left to go to the bathroom...
Yes.
-...10 minutes ago. -I'm gonna kill him!
[ Laughs ]
All right, hey. We are here at a doctor's office today,
and we're bringing patients in one at a time.
And they think that I'm a doctor in training.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Mr. Mayberry? That's me, hi.
-Hey. How you doing? -Good. How are you?
-Michael. -Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you. And how are you feeling today?
-Pretty good. -Feeling pretty good?
-Yeah. -We're doing a research study.
-Okay. -And this involves headaches.
Did you -- Do you experience headaches?
Um, from time to time. Not too bad.
Not too bad with headaches? Okay.
And do you notice any pressure in your neck
or in your spine or in your back throughout the day,
just as an ordinary thing?
You build up stress in those areas.
Um, I wouldn't say so, no.
No, no stress in the back.
Okay. Do you mind if I just give your neck a little poke?
It's almost like -- -Go for it.
Okay, great. Like a little reflexology.
-Okay. -And...
Okay, so I'm gonna give you a little push here
and a push here.
See, I do feel a little bit of tension.
-Okay. -Little bit of tension.
See, all -- This is all --
Here, I'll show you on this skeleton over here, too.
This -- This whole area right here
can really cause major source of stress and headache.
This needs to be in alignment. There's a lot of pressure
right here in the meat of the muscle
that's up in this area, in the trapezius.
Most people don't even know. You noticed, you said
you didn't even have a lot of stress up there.
But that's pretty tight. -Okay.
Okay. Things like that sometimes,
if those pieces of spine -- and push your head forward --
pinch together,
they could cause sometimes headaches,
sometimes they can cause hallucinations.
[ Knock on door ]
Mr. Mayberry? -That's me.
Sorry about that. I've been getting so many calls.
You wouldn't believe how many calls we get in just a...
Do you think that the times that you do have headaches,
do you think it could be caused from that kind of stress?
[Bleep]
Do you ever notice any kind of,
like, changes in vision or hallucinations?
Are you sleeping well?
Any delusions ever, or blurred vision?
Having any pressure in the head?
Mr. Mayberry?
How have you been this cold season?
I've been holding up pretty well with my immune system.
That's excellent!
Have you ever had an esophageal exfoliation?
No.
It's an excellent procedure for preventative measures
for catching sore throat, you know, post-nasal drip.
Oh.
And I will show you how to do it.
I'll send you home with one of these.
-Cool. -Here you go.
-Thanks. -Give you a few of those.
Have some more over here.
These are excellent. They're brand-new.
What they are is a surgical-grade microfiber latex
that's woven in such a way that it allows it
to be soft yet abrasive at the same time.
-Uh-huh. -So it's okay for the throat.
-Okay. -Okay?
So, it's one size fits all.
It'll expand against the walls of your esophagus.
And we want to be able to release that muscle
so that we can strengthen the muscles of the throat
and allow the sides of the throat to be exfoliated
so that they don't catch disease.
-Wow. -Okay?
Okay.
So you just tie it off, simple, like a balloon.
-Right. -And then what you do is --
And I like to just stretch out my throat a little bit first.
-Okay. I'd be so nervous. -Drop it right in.
Don't be nervous.
You just place it,
[Muffled] and then slowly begin to --
Right here.
♪♪
And ease it down, okay?
Okay.
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
-Yeah. -Okay.
Then get it down as you can get it through here.
And then, it actually cleans your intestines...
-Okay. -...as you get.
Wow.
You have to make an adjustment...
-Uh-huh. -...to get it all in.
Wow. That's a lot of air.
It's a lot of air.
♪♪
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
[ Air squeaking ]
Basically, the surgical instrument,
as it turns out --
[ Squeaking ]
Okay.
[ Coughing squeakily ]
[ Balloon pops ]
I will be right back.
I'll be back. Stay there.
♪♪
Okay. Ms. Ortega, how are you doing?
I'm good, you?
All right. So, how is your breathing?
It's okay. Yeah? Your sinuses are clear?
Yeah? Okay. And how about your ears?
We're getting a lot of ear infections going on now.
Sometimes, and you know what's always weird?
I've always noticed my ears have maybe too much wax or something.
Ah. Even sometimes when I put in my headphones.
Yes. You know what that is?
Our eustachian tubes are shrinking.
So I'm gonna give you one of these little buds here.
You want to take one of those? It's completely sanitary.
Yes. And the ridged end,
you're gonna insert just like an earplug into your ear there,
right into your right ear.
Yeah. You'll be able to hear your music better, too,
once we do a little clean-through.
So I'm gonna light this candle, okay?
This is a surgical-grade soy candle.
And what I want you to do is take your hand
and just press over your other ear, okay?
Yeah. So, I want you to aim your ear toward the candle.
This one? Yeah, aim that ear toward the candle.
Lower it down a little bit. You see?
Now that that ear has the pressure,
I want you to actually plug your nose.
And force air through your ear, and try and blow out the candle.
Ready? Go ahead.
Excellent shot.
Excellent. -Wow.
I didn't know my ear could blow out a candle.
That was an intense force stream.
You can take that little -- little device out now.
Let's try the other side, okay?
Yeah, you can put that right in.
And what I'll do -- You did that so well,
I actually kind of want to see if you could do it,
maybe, from a greater distance away.
Okay. Can you see the candle? Okay, good.
Now what you're gonna try and do now, focus that stream of air,
but really concentrate on almost hitting past
the candle into the back wall so you really have a nice force.
Ready? One, two, three, and --
-Oops. -Oh, goodness.
-Wow. -Oops.
-Well, you missed the candle. -But I knocked the stuff?
Yeah, your strength is good.
That's, uh, really good.
Uh, I'm gonna get Nancy and a broom.
All righty.
And I will return in just one moment.
That's a strong left ear.
♪♪
Do you mind giving it
Okay, here's the deal. I'm playing a locksmith today,
and I have people coming to help me.
They think my partner wasn't able to make it,
and that I need two people to open these here doors
in this here neighborhood.
That's right. I'm the locksmith, and I don't work alone.
Come help me.
Oh, hey, man. -Hey. How's it going?
-Appreciate it. -No problem.
What's going on? Eric.
-Eric? Zack. -Nice to meet you.
Um, yeah -- something about the ordinance.
They need two people for locksmiths...
-Oh. -...just as a prowler rule,
and my partner wasn't available today.
-Okay. -So, thanks for jumping in.
Yeah, no problem.
It's just good to have the presence of two people.
Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah, I see that.
Little much, isn't it?
Uh, I guess you could say that.
I mean, you know, they always say, you know,
when you put a logo on something it looks better,
it looks more professional. -Yeah. It is better.
All right, come on up here.
Wow, nice house, right?
Yeah, really.
I'd love to live in a house like this someday.
-Yeah, likewise. -Check the old work order here.
Oh, Jenkins -- Mr. Jenkins.
Yeah, I don't know any of these.
No problem, Zack.
We'll -- We'll play it like we know what we're doing.
Just chill right there. -All right.
Hello. -Hi. How are you?
I'm doing well. Mr. Jenkins?
-That is me. -Okay. I'm Eric Weiss.
Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
I got the call.
-Yep. -You, um -- I'm sorry.
You look very familiar.
Have I opened this before? -Mm, no, I don't recall.
-Okay. So, what's the trouble? -Trouble is the lock.
Good.
I bought this house five years ago,
and I'm ready to sell again.
Okay.
But I can't sell it unless the door works.
You bet. All right. So, these old doors, it's like --
Let me guess. You want to preserve the old lock,
you're keeping the old door, you don't want to do a re--
Uh, I'd really like to just replace the whole thing.
-Mm-hmm. -Here's the key.
Okay. Great.
Okay. Wow, that's beat up. It's the only one you got, huh?
-That's the only one I have. -That might be what's doing it.
Do you mind giving it a little try there?
-Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. -Close it up.
You know what? Um, okay. Let's give it a shot.
I might lock myself in.
Well, because if it doesn't work, then I can't --
you have the key. -Well, I have the key.
-It might not work. -Really?
Guess we'll find out.
Right, exactly.
There we go.
-Nope. -Yeah, okay.
So now you're locked into your home.
I'm locked in.
Which they say is better than being locked out of your home.
-Right, right. -Okay.
That's great. You hang onto the key.
Uh, all right. Let me have, uh, air can here.
And -- Here, hang onto that for a second. See here.
[ Bucket rattling ]
I hate these old locks, man. It's like, you know,
everybody wants to keep the beauty of the old door.
And then -- yeah. Okay.
Does that wiggle at all? -It wiggles.
-Yeah, okay. -It's not doing anything.
So, I don't want to split the wood
because the teeth of this --
this one's probably ratcheting it locked every single time.
-Right. -Okay?
So I can make you a new key, but we want to fix this first.
-Okay. -So, um, here.
You sit here for me, Zack. -Yep.
And if you would focus the laser right there.
Hold on a minute. Ooh, nice job! That's good, okay.
I can see the tumblers in there.
Here, go ahead. Focus that laser in there.
And hang on to the key for me.
Let me see if I can wiggle that straight.
Do you want me to do anything?
Yeah. Just push on the handle when I say.
Not yet, not yet. -Oh.
It's gonna take a second. Hold on.
Oh, I think you got it.
Yeah?
Great!
All right.
I think I see what's going on here.
Okay?
Um...
I think I'm gonna have to replace that cylinder.
Yeah, whatever you got to do.
I mean, I just want to be able to sell it
and make sure that it looks pristine.
Good. I got the part in the truck.
I'm gonna go. You just wait here, okay?
-Okay. -Great.
-You guys are quick. -Yeah.
Well, I'm telling you, that, uh, what's his name there?
Well, Mr. Jenkins Locksmith
is absolutely gonna be going on the fridge.
We'll use you guys any time, okay?
Zack: That says Jenkins.
Yes.
I don't know who that is, honestly.
What do you mean you don't know who --
That's the locksmith, yeah?
You look like you're having a weird day.
I am. I -- I really am.
Why? It's too beautiful of a day.
It is beautiful today,
but that used to be your face on that --
on that thing that says Mr. Jenkins.
I'm so confused. What do you mean?
I have no idea what's going on here.
This is really uncomfortable. -Whoa, whoa. Why?
What's uncomfortable? -Okay.
When I came up, it was you who was outside there with a jacket,
just like -- no, with, like, his kind of uniform.
What are you saying?
I don't know what's going on, honestly.
So you saw someone else as -- You saw me?
-I saw you. -Out here?
Specifically you out here.
And then all of a sudden,
you're the one that opened up the door.
Oh, my G-- You know what this is?
No. What is this?
This is like the Carbonaro Effect.
I don't know what it is, honestly.
Have you heard of the Carbonaro Effect?
-No. -"The Carbonaro Effect"
is the name of a hidden-camera magic TV show.
-Okay. -What if I told you
that you were on that TV show right now?
-Really? -Yes.
And you're not going crazy.
Dude, are you okay?
I'm all right, yeah. No, that's just cool.