(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(GOLF BALL RATTLES)
(SNIFFS)
(INHALES)
(CRASHES)
(BUGLE PLAYING)
(POTS BANGING)
(CACKLES)
(KNOCKING)
Howdy, (STUTTERS) nephew!
I got your message you was feeling poorly.
You just rest easy now and relax.
Yeah, that grip.
As limp as a lasso.
Let's have a look at your tongue.
(FLIES BUZZING)
Ooh. Looks like a nasty frog in your throat.
Let's listen to your pulse.
(BUGLE PLAYING)
(POTS BANGING)
(BUGLE CLANGS)
(LOUDLY) Back off the racket, you loco critter!
I got kinfolk sick right here.
So mind your manners before I lose my
(STUTTERS) temper.
Always said the best cure for what ails ya
is the natural born outdoors.
Gots to get out the house more.
Get some fresh air.
Feel the warmth of the daylight sun.
Ah... Best medicine there is.
Breathe in that fresh air.
(INHALES)
Feel that (STUTTERS) tingle?
Perfect weather for a good vigorous jog.
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(SHIVERING)
(TEETH CHATTERING)
PECOS: Don't worry, nephew.
(MUFFLED) All we need now is a warm place to thaw out.
(JERRY SNEEZING)
You two done gone viral!
Better go get my tackle bag.
(SNEEZES)
Now, you two just sit tight
while I see if I can find what I'm looking for in here.
Nope.
Now darn it. Where is it?
Good thing I didn't pack much for this trip.
(SAND TRICKLING)
Ah, there we go.
This will have you back in the saddle right quick.
My very own Texas Zinger.
Open up there (STUTTERS) nephew.
Since you're citified we'll have to start you off easy.
(SIZZLING)
(CROWING)
(HOWLS)
Hang on there, (STUTTERS) nephew!
-Worked a little too good. -(CLUCKING)
(YELLS LIKE TARZAN)
(TOM ROARS)
(FIGHTING)
(WHIRRING)
(CRASHING)
(COUGHING)
Hmm. That batch done passed its expiration date.
Better go whoop up some more.
(SCATTING)
♪ Crambone
(SCATTING)
♪ Crambone ♪
Ha! Now, let's see...
Oh, yeah. Almost forgot.
A little squeeze of this here snake juice.
(EXCLAIMS)
(BUBBLING)
Well, that's the best I can do using citified ingredients.
Hope it does the trick.
(WHEEZES) This batch is so fresh
it might fricassee your innards.
(SIZZLES)
Maybe a bigger gulp'll do ya.
(GULPING)
(JERRY RUMBLING)
Oh, I guess it's got a delayed reaction.
Fire!
(GURGLING)
(SNEEZES)
(BOTH SNEEZE)
Great balls of fire! It's an epi-me-demic!
Back to the chuck wagon.
(STRUMMING GUITAR)
♪ And the coyotes howl
♪ At the old screech owl
♪ It's a cowboy lullaby ♪
Yee-haw!
Thank you, thank you. Hold your applause, please.
Now, y'all had enough Zinger to get you through the night.
So don't go a-sneaking into the (STUTTERS) kitchen for more.
There's barely enough left for tomorrow.
So, good night, sleep tight,
and don't let the (STUTTERS) bedbugs bite.
Or the tarantulas.
Or the scorpions.
Or the Gila monsters.
We get it, Pecos.
We'll go to sleep.
-PECOS: Hall light on or off? -Off.
(GROWLING)
On, on, on!
So quiet you could hear a cricket expire.
It's just not natural.
Uh! Huh?
Darn suburban (STUTTERS) debris.
(TV TURNS ON)
(GUNSHOTS ON TV)
PECOS: Well, glory be.
Now that's a genuine cowboy lullaby.
Sorry, cat. There's not enough Zinger for the two of us.
It's mine.
(THUD)
(CRASHING)
(ALL STRUGGLING)
(ROARS)
Dagnabbit!
How's a body supposed to sleep
with all this citified racket?
(TOM YOWLS)
(MOVIE PLAYING ON TV)
That's better.
(SNORES)