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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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NARRATOR: They say
there's no "I" in team.
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But there's at least
a couple in "private eye."
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The boys had split up
their workload for the day.
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Tom had taken an emergency
call from Toodles,
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leaving Jerry to crack open
a cold case at the office.
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(BELCHING)
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Suddenly, there was a heavy
footfall at the door.
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It was Tom, looking like
something the cat dragged in.
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Actually, I dragged him in.
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I seen him passed out
on the stairs
and dragged him on over.
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NARRATOR: Well, thanks
very much for all your help.
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Hey, are you doing
a TV show in here?
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'Cause, uh, I know a few
pretty good tricks.
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NARRATOR: Well,
there really isn't any need
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for that kind of thing
in this series,
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but if it ever comes up,
we'll give you a call.
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(SADLY)
Yeah, sure. Sure you will.
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NARRATOR: Poor Tom was
really down for the count.
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Out like a light.
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Looks like a job for
a good old-fashioned
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cardiac ventricular
defibrillator.
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-Clear!
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
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(YELLS)
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Oops!
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Hey, Tom, he just knocked you
for a loop, remember?
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Hmm, this could be serious.
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Somewhere in
the past eight hours,
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you took a baseball bat
to the head,
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got a kiss on the cheek,
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acquired a face full of
hornet stings,
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an arrow to the backside,
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and got run over by a
Mack Truck.
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Don't tell us you forgot
how all this happened.
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This looks like
a clear case of...
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Of... That thing where
you can't remember.
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Magnesium?
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(KEYS CLACKING)
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-(PHONE BEEPS)
-Hang on, I'm getting a text.
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"Hey, genius,
the word is 'Amnesia'."
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(SCOFFS) I knew that was it!
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So, with no shortage of clues,
all they needed to find was
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what they were clues to.
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The barcode
on the baseball bat
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named a health club
called Flex & Pex,
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where the boys learned
what they could from
the evening desk clerk.
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Excuse me. I'm not a clerk.
I'm a Fitness Associate.
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NARRATOR:
Whatever you say, big guy.
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With that out of the way,
it was time to learn
what they could
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about the last eight hours
at Flex & Pex.
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Our bat boy here
will show you.
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(MIMICKING RENFIELD)
Yes, master. Right this way.
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NARRATOR: As bat boy showed
them to the batting cages,
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he mentioned that a mysterious
puppy showed up around noon
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and had been hitting
home runs ever since.
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But he didn't have
much to say.
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Seemed like the only language
he spoke was bubble gum.
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(POPS)
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I see, you also took
an arrow in your derriere.
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Perhaps someone
knows something
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over at our archery range.
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Excuse me, kind sir.
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These two gentlemen
were wondering
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if you know anything about
the recent accident
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involving a bow and arrow.
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A mere coincidence of chance,
and I can prove it.
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Hey, fellas, does this arrow
look like any of yours?
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-Gee, I don't know.
-Maybe yes, maybe no.
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It sure, maybe, yes, no...
(CHUCKLES)
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-I can't tell.
-Sure.
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There's only
one way to find out.
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(SCREAMS)
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Okay, let's see here.
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Who has the blue aluminum
with the carbon tip?
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DOG 1: Oh, that's me, Spike.
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I've got a copper shaft
with a black feather.
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DOG 2: That's me, Spike.
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So, that leaves this one,
which is mine,
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proving this one
you came in with
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ain't one of ours.
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(YELLING)
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NARRATOR:
Bat boy had one last lead,
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an alley cat named Butch,
who practically lived
at the gym,
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albeit in the dumpster.
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(SCATTING)
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Not bad, huh?
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NARRATOR:
Very nice. Like I said,
we'll keep you in mind.
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Oh, you won't be sorry.
I promise.
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NARRATOR:
Where were we? Oh, yes.
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The boys grilled Butch
about the suspicious arrow
in Tom's butt
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and the one he was using
to harpoon his dinner.
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Yeah, looks like
one of mine, all right.
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But this is
the last one I got.
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Somebody stole my
archery gear this morning
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when I went to bring
Tooty to the gym.
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Tom, don't you rember?
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You was right across the alley
putting up them posters.
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I still says Tooty wouldn't
have gone missing
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if Toodles let her come
to the gym with me.
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Poor kitten.
Couldn't care less about
that beauty salon anyways.
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But cut her loose
on a batting cage
or an archery range,
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and she could be
at it all day.
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A natural athlete
she is, I tell...
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Yikes!
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(BUZZING)
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(PLAYS BUGLE)
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(TRUCK HONKS)
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NARRATOR: In a sudden flash,
Jerry pulled all of
the pieces together.
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Now the PI team
was really on a roll.
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They called Toodles and asked
her to meet them at the gym.
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Jerry assured her that
the mystery was
as good as solved.
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Back in cage number five,
the canine wonder was
still batting 1,000,
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and if Jerry's hunch
was correct,
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this pup's bark was worse
than her meow.
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(GASPS) Tooty,
thank goodness, you're safe.
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Oh, Tooty,
you had us all so worried.
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Tom, you're
an absolute genius.
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How on Earth did you find her,
here of all places?
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NARRATOR: Tell her, Tom.
Oh, hang on,
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let's jog our memory
one more time.
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It suddenly all came back in
a classic flashback sequence.
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At noon sharp you arrived
at Toodles' place,
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where she hired you to help
her find her missing niece.
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At 12:05, she sealed the deal
with a kiss on the cheek.
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By 12:45, you had reached
the Flex & Pex back alley
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to spread the word
of the missing kitten.
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At 12:57, you encountered
Butch on the other side
of the alley.
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Tooty's lost?
I was hoping to take her
to the archery range today.
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But Toodles wanted to drag her
to some beauty salon
joint instead.
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Say, that looks like
Toodles' lipstick.
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You're trying to steal
my girl again, ain't you?
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NARRATOR: At 1:03,
Butch chased you up
a utility pole
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and head first into
a hornet's nest.
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1:09, you raced headlong
into the loading dock
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and into the path of
an oncoming equipment truck.
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2:21, you regained
consciousness
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and staggered through
the back door
of the archery range,
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where Tooty had taken Butch's
stolen bow and arrows
to practice.
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(TOM SCREAMS)
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At 3:27, you tracked Tooty
to the batting cages
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and saw through
the puppy dog get-up.
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Tooty did what any defenseless
4-year-old would do.
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Taking a home run
to the skull,
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sent you're already battered
short term memory
to the shallows.
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Good, then I'm the real hero
of this picture.
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And I think that rakes a big
razzle-dazzle finish, yeah.
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NARRATOR: (SIGHS)
Oh, all right.
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Oh, boy! Come on, kids.
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Let's show them
the big finish
Daddy learned you.
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NARRATOR: Hang on, I didn't
say anything about your kids
getting into the act.
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Trying to run a serious
detective procedural here.
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Oh, forget it.