(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(OWL HOOTING)
(CHOMPS)
(GIGGLES)
(GULPS)
Why, thank you.
(SPITS)
(JERRY SCREAMING)
(LAUGHS)
HILDIE: Thomas!
What the Hades are you doing with my perfume?
(GROANS)
(LAUGHS)
BEATIE: Oh, don't fuss, Hildie.
Your secret admirer sent you a whole case of
Troll's Breath's perfume yesterday.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
BEATIE: Oh, what's that?
Another love package from your mystery man perhaps?
Hmm. (LAUGHING)
HILDIE: Oh, well, uh...
I don't know. (GIGGLES)
Oh, my favorite. How did he know?
Oh, just look at those thorns.
Positively gruesome.
BEATIE: Don't forget the card, dear.
HILDIE: Oh, yes, of course.
(READING)
Oh... (GASPS) Who is my cuddly baby boo?
BEATIE: Well, the card said the thorns come from
Gloom & Bloom Flowers & Gifts.
Why don't we just go there and see if we can find out who is behind all this?
HILDIE: It would spoil the romance.
BEATIE: Well, then...
-(LICKING) -Why don't we send Thomas
and his little friend to find out for us?
HILDIE: Oh, yes, that's a brilliant plan, Beatie.
All right, Thomas, you two go to this address
and find my mystery man.
The journey won't be easy.
(WAND ZAPS)
First, you'll need to sneak through the Nightmare Forest,
and then pass over Terror Lake...
-(BOTH GASP) -And then you'll be there in a jip.
-(TEETH CHATTERS) -(GASPS)
Or whatever's left of you.
(BOTH GULPING DOWN)
NEWT: Excuse me.
Is that really such a good idea?
Those two aren't exactly the brave and the daring.
HILDIE: Oh, no need to worry. My broom will lead the way.
(THUMPS)
HILDIE: Now, hurry along. Hurry along. True love can't wait.
Move as fast as you can, broom, or you'll be kindling.
Now, go!
(BROOM HALTS)
(TOM WHISTLES)
Nah.
(LAUGHS) What's the rush?
(BROOM WHIRRING)
(RACING)
(COUGHS)
(BROOM SKIDDING)
(THUD)
-(SQUISHES) -Someone knock?
(GASPS) Customers. Splendid.
Come in. Come in.
Welcome to Bloom & Gloom Flowers & Gifts.
Where lovers come to buy and flowers come to die.
So, what'll it be for the special lady?
Jewelry?
Or what about a perky little puppy?
-(BARKS) -Oops. Sorry.
Looks like that one expired.
Or how about a Venus flytrap corsage?
-(SNIFFS) -(BITES)
And what girl doesn't love chocolate-covered cockroaches?
(SHRIEKS)
Or if all of that doesn't get you twitterpated
try one of our custom headstones for size.
(THUDS)
I've got something for everyone.
I've helped hundreds find true love.
But, alas, there's none for me.
(BLOWS NOSE) Excuse me, I...
Have something in my eye.
(SOBBING)
Oh, yes, I rember this order.
But if it is the secret admirer you're looking for,
I'm afraid I can't help you.
I've never actually met him. He places all his orders with my delivery boy.
And he won't be back for another...
-(KNOCKING AT DOOR) -Ah!
Well, trim my beard, there he is now.
(BOTH GASP)
You two. You've got a lot of nerve coming here.
WIZARD: Oh, my, what was that all about?
Well, that's my last delivery for the night, boss.
I'm going to hit the sack.
Night.
WIZARD: Psst. Excuse me, Carlton?
You wouldn't mind doing just one more flight this evening, would you?
What?
Uh, these two chaps here are on a quest for love.
(LAUGHS) Could you escort them back to the gentleman
who's been placing all these orders?
Excuse me! Did you hear me?
I never want to see those two vermin again.
Oh, but, Carlton, this isn't about you and them.
This is about...
♪ Love makes the world go round
♪ Love pumps hearts up and down
♪ Take a chance to romance
♪ Love ♪
Enough already. Yeesh!
Fine, I'll help. Just spare me the whole song and dance.
-(SLAMS) -Let's get this over with.
Give me that card.
Oh, yeah. I remember this bum.
All right. Giddy up, vermin.
We're off to find your Romeo.
And when I get back, I expect a raise.
(SIGHS) Well, at least someone will find love tonight.
(TOM SNORING)
Wakey, wakey, boys, we're here.
(BOTH YAWNING)
Did you come alone?
The thorns were a big hit.
-But this time I really outdone myself. -(TOM SHRIEKING)
-Hey! -You three have fun sorting this one out.
Arrivederci.
Okay, let's get this over with.
NEWT: For the last time, I do not have goo-goo eyes for Hildie.
She's been getting meaner by the minute
and I thought a bit of love would help soften her up.
And, boy, did it. Now she's addicted to love.
And if I don't keep this charade up, it'll crush her.
(SIGHS) Everybody deserves to feel loved.
Even a witch like Hildie.
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
HILDIE: Oh, Thomas's little escapade was a total loss.
I'll never know my mystery man.
-BEATIE: There, there, Hildie, dear. -(DOOR KNOCK)
BEATIE: Well, what's that?
(GASPS)
Would, uh...
Will you be my Valentine?
My cuddly baby boo.
-(HILDIE AND SHOP OWNER KISSING) -NEWT: Aw.
(HILDIE AND SHOP OWNER CHUCKLING)
Okay, we got the point.
Fade out already.