(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
-(DOORBELL RINGS) -Thomas, it's me, Toodles.
Oh, Tom. What am I gonna do?
My mom and dad are coming for a visit today
and I told them I was married with kids.
Oh, my parents can't find out I lied.
That would be awful.
And I can't ask Butch to pretend to be my husband
because we got in a big fight
and I never wanna see that rotten alley cat again.
Oh, if only I could find
some handsome loyal friend
to be my make-believe husband.
Someone just like you.
I'm talking to you, you big dope.
Oh, Thomas, I could just kiss you.
It's a figure of speech, Tom.
Impress my parents
and you might get a peck on the cheek.
TOODLES: Now be at my place at 1:00.
And don't forget to bring the kids.
Toodles.
No way, cat.
We're not pretending to be baby kittens.
And there's nothing you could do
to change our minds.
(GASPS) Except that!
You got a deal, Pops.
Mom, Dad, here are our two little girls,
Hannah and Barbara.
Oh, they're adorable.
Aren't they, Sid?
Hmm. Are they kittens or shrimp?
They're tiny!
(SNIFFS) And they smell funny.
Kinda like... Youch!
(GRUNTS) Those things are not right.
They're just hungry, Sid.
I'll take 'em somewhere quiet and feed 'em.
You stay here. Get to know you son-in-law.
Yes, Daddy. You two fellas sit and chat
while I get some refreshments.
Yoo-hoo! Who's thirsty?
-(GLASS SHATTERING) -Tom!
Those were for all of us.
Now I'll have to get something else.
Don't leave us alone again!
How come you're not in any of these photos, Tim?
Uh... That's because Tom took them, of course.
He's quite the shutterbug.
You know, photography.
It's... It's his hobby.
(MUMBLING) Some hobby.
Oh, Tom has lot of athletic interests too.
He loves wrestling.
You can hardly keep him out of the ring.
No kidding.
Well, let's see some of your moves.
Let's hit the mat, Ted.
Quit killing time!
Grandma knows why her wittle kittens are so grumpy.
Open up.
Cream spinach with liver oil.
(SCREAMS)
How about some milk?
That's 100% Norwegian walrus milk.
Hey! Watch it, you little...
(CRYING)
Shh.
So glad we could get to know each other, Tad.
Hey, Tad! Heads up!
Cannonball!
(CRASHING)
Come back here, ya big pretzel-puss!
(CRYING)
Shh.
(BOTH GASP)
SID: Wait, I got another wrestling move to show ya.
Hey. Maybe we can be on a father-son bowling team.
No bowling, eh?
What about fencing?
Didn't think to get my permission
to marry my precious Toodles, huh?
Sid, I'm starting to think you're right about these kids.
Oh!
Mama!
Missy!
Okay, Toodles. What's going on here?
I don't know what you're talking about.
ALL: Get down here, right now.
Come on, Jerry. This kitten stuff is for the dogs.
Your babies are mice?
BUTCH: Toodles!
Oh, no.
Take me back, kitten.
Take him back?
But you're married to that nut-job.
Oh, forget Tom.
I'm not married to no one.
I only said so,
because you two didn't like me living alone in the city.
Yeah, well, there's all sorts of crazy here.
Toodles, baby. Please.
I'm a mess without you.
See what I mean? Come on, baby girl.
You're coming home.
No, Daddy. I'm staying here.
What! With those two?
No. Just me, pal.
No, alone.
I've been fine on my own this whole time.
It's okay, Daddy. I promise.
(SMOOCHING)
Our baby's all grown up.
She sure is.
I'm so proud.
And you two, stay away from my little girl.
Boy, love hurts.