[narrator] Previously on Return to Amish...
My entire life, I was looking for my blood relatives.
Smile!
[Carmela] It was literally a village of Jeremiahs.
[Jeremiah] Feels like family. Now I know where I belong.
- [laughter] - I'm a Hiltabidle.
[Maureen] Rosanna and I really need to decide
if we're going back Amish or if we're staying English.
[Maureen] And if it wouldn't be for Danny,
I wouldn't leave.
[Sabrina] Jethro took off.
[Ada] What... What are you thinking?
You know she knows no one in Florida,
and there she was, stuck in the house with the kids.
And you up and left her.
Jethro and Sabrina showed up and it makes me very angry.
If I would have known where he was, I would have beat him up.
[Carmela] Jethro, I mean...
number one, you have to think.
You cannot just leave whenever you feel like it.
You can't.
You have responsibilities now.
Those kids depend on you. You.
You're their protector.
And when you're gone, who's gonna protect them?
You guys can actually be happy together.
You guys are beautiful together, like,
you has beautiful kids.
We... We support you. We love you guys.
But you can't just do that. You can't just leave.
You can't.
I know I messed up when I left Florida,
but everybody gets to their breaking point,
and I believe that that was mine.
But I am here, and I know that I love Sabrina more than anything.
It has to come from both sides, right?
Like, honestly, I'm gonna be very honest, Sabrina.
As many times as I've heard you say
you don't want him, you don't want him,
that's given him mixed signals, right?
So In order for you guys to make this work, that needs to stop.
So that is where you're at fault.
But he's at fault for just up and running.
He is at fault for all the stuff that he's done.
So it's two. Don't get me wrong.
Me and her,
we go through [bleep] too. Everyone does. Right?
So don't feel like you're the only ones that are going through this.
Don't feel like you're the only ones screwing up.
I screw up every single day. You know what I mean?
But I'm just talking from a guy's point of view.
Well, I'm sorry I let you guys down.
I mean, I didn't mean to disappoint any of you.
[clears throat] I'm sorry for leaving.
Yeah, I should have probably communicated before I just up and left and...
Like, I want to get married to you
and, like, have a family with you.
Well, I mean I love you and the kids love you,
and I want you here and I need you.
[Sabrina] I forgive Jethro because I love him,
and I really want me and Jethro to work.
Honestly, you guys can make it work.
You guys really can.
[Ada] Jethro and Sabrina are getting back together.
I kind of have mixed feelings about it.
But we'll see how... how it goes.
[Maureen] What do you want to eat?
[Daniel] I was thinking omelette.
[Maureen] Me being in a relationship with Danny is amazing.
I want to be with Daniel
because he is actually the only person
that ever made me feel...
like I'm worth something.
Do you want spinach or something
or just eggs and bacon bits and cheese?
Eggs and bacon bits and cheese is fine. I don't like spinach.
Picky eater.
I'm very happy with Daniel, but I don't know what to do.
If I go English, I could be shunned
and I won't ever be able to see my family again.
But if I stay Amish, Danny and I can't be together,
and I will never know what I am missing in the English world.
[sighs]
What's the matter, don't you like the eggs?
Just...
something that I need to talk to you about.
I don't think that I can leave the Amish.
There's just so much.
I won't be able to be at my sister's wedding.
I probably won't be able to see my family ever again.
I just... [sighs]
I just don't know what my parents are gonna say about all this.
I'm afraid my mom is gonna think it's, like,
really horrible, and I'm afraid
she's just gonna cry and cry,
and she's gonna get really stressed out,
and I don't want her to be stressed out, I want her to be happy.
And I want to be happy for the choice I...
the decisions I make.
And what am I gonna do out here?
What am I gonna do about work?
I don't know anyone.
How am I gonna be able to get a job and all that stuff?
I can understand all that, but I felt the same way when I left.
- Is that normal, then? - Yeah. Yeah.
[Daniel] I mean, I can relate to Maureen's story
because my situation was similar.
When I left, you know, my mom was crying
and telling me I can't leave and all that stuff.
My mom and dad didn't accept the fact that I didn't wanna be Amish.
It took my family nearly two years to adjust to it.
Did they accept it?
Yeah.
Took them a long time, but they accepted it.
Your parents accepted your choice that you made.
I just have this feeling that my family won't.
Well, what if I make you a deal?
Like what?
If you come to stay with me for a year
and you don't like it,
then I'll-- even though I don't want to be Amish at all,
I'll go back Amish with you.
After a year.
You would really do that for me?
Yeah.
[Maureen] Danny telling me that means so much to me,
and knowing that he is by my side no matter what
gives me the courage to tell my parents that I wanna go English.
[Maureen] Grandma asked Rosanna and I
to get some groceries for the house.
I am excited to see how an English grocery store looks like.
[indistinct conversation]
If the people back home in the Amish community would see this store,
they would just be so amazed,
they'd walk in there with-- their eyes would
be really big, and they would be so excited.
Yeah, they don't have big stores like this.
[Maureen] There's... so much stuff. Rosanna, look.
There's cucumbers. Look.
They're already cut.
There's carrots and celery.
I think that's pretty cool, like, how that is.
Yeah.
I can't believe that the English people buy vegetables
that are already cut and cleaned.
They're wrapped up. They're ready to eat.
That is so lazy. Why wouldn't you just do it yourself?
[Rosanna] Those are expensive.
[Maureen] Yeah.
It's just crazy to me,
because back home where I grew up,
we would make all our own food.
Look at this. Holy crap.
$5.99.
Back home you can buy eggs for $1.50.
It's unreal expensive.
I wouldn't wanna pay that much for eggs.
I'd just get chickens.
Rosanna, look at those twigs over there.
- Look at those twigs. - Oh, wow.
Why would you have tw...
Why don't they go out on a tree and get a...
- a branch. - I like those.
Maureen is so snobby, like...
The English are busy. Like, they don't have time to cut the twigs.
I can't believe how weird the English people are.
They buy twigs.
They could go out in the woods
and pick up any twig they want.
Oh, my goodness. Look at that. What is that stuff?
Looks like a lot of different kinds of milk and stuff, doesn't it?
Why wouldn't you just get a cow and milk the cow?
[Maureen] Look at it.
Oh, my goodness, look over there.
- I think I... - Looks like more.
[Rosanna] There are a lot of different kinds.
[Maureen] Holy crap.
Rosanna, look at all that milk.
Look at this.
It's made with almonds.
How can you make milk with almonds?
I don't know how you... like, how they would make it.
There's no milk in almonds.
Whatever.
[Maureen] Wow!
You ever see, like, Jennifer Lopez?
Since I... first time I seen pictures of her,
- I wanted to look like her. - Uh-huh.
I like Prince William.
[Maureen] That's a guy.
[Rosanna] No, that's a woman.
- His wife. - Prince William's wife, yeah.
[Maureen] What's her name?
Kate.
[Rosanna] I know who the royal family is
because my bishop said they are very sinful.
Because in England,
they have replaced God with a family
but I love Kate.
[gasps] Wow.
- You want to look like Kate? - Yeah.
I want to look like her.
- [Maureen] Princess... - Yeah.
- She's so pretty. - Yeah, she is pretty.
I am not allowed to look at magazines.
The Amish community we don't,
because they have graven images.
And they consider it mean.
There's pictures in there that...
people aren't really dressed, they don't have enough clothes on.
And then they think if we look at those magazines,
that's how we want to dress.
Ooh, I like how she braided her hair.
[Rosanna] Ooh, that's nice.
If my parents would know that I was looking at those magazines,
they would not be happy about it.
She's really pretty.
Yes.
[Rosanna] I think they're afraid if we look at the magazines,
we're gonna wanna leave the Amish.
Imagine if the people would see us like... dressed like this.
- I know, they would just be, like, horrified... - Yeah.
We should do something like this, like, dress like
they do in these magazines.
I just want to look like Jennifer Lopez.
I want to get dressed like...
I want to wear a nice dress.
Okay.
I'm not gonna beat around the bush.
I know you and Jethro were having problems.
So, what's going on now?
I'm going to go tell my parents
that I have decided to leave the Amish,
and I am very nervous.
I am afraid they won't accept the decision I made.
Something exciting happened at the grocery store today.
Rosanna and I decided to get our English makeover.
[laughing]
[Rosanna] I want to go English because it's just so much to do out here.
It's really exciting.
But I'm really nervous to tell my parents,
'cause I don't know, like, how they're gonna react to it.
I know my mom's gonna be mad if I do this,
if I decide, like, If I leave.
But it's my decision and I am gonna do it.
Like, that's a big decision to make, like...
because, like, I don't know... Are Mom and Dad, like,
are they gonna ever, like, let me come home again?
Like, are they gonna just, like, disown me?
I just feel like this is what I want.
And, like, I wanna do it.
Yeah.
[Maureen] It's a big decision to go English,
but I love Danny, and I would definitely leave the Amish for him,
so I know where my heart is leading me
and I know God is going to be with me every step.
This place looks fun.
Yeah, looks cute.
[Ada] Sabrina and Jethro got back together again,
which I don't know is a good idea or not.
So we're just gonna make sure she's okay.
- You guys want to sit here? - Yeah.
[Ada] This is a nice sturdy Amish table.
Check it out.
What would you girls like to drink?
I'll go get a couple of drinks.
A beer.
I don't know.
I'm starving.
[Carmela speaking]
[chuckles]
Sabrina is going through a tough situation.
But the only thing I can do is just be there for her.
[Ada] Thank you.
Ooh. Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Cheers to being sober. - Cheers.
- Cheers.
[Sabrina] I've been sober for 2 years, and it's still hard,
but I am very proud of myself.
And I am proud of the person that I am.
Mmm. Hits the spot.
It's nice to have a girls night. It really is, you know.
It's nice to just get out and not have to deal with our...
partners for a second.
[Ada] I just don't know about Jethro and Sabrina.
I mean, one day they love each other,
and the next day they hate each other and...
I just don't get it.
Your pizza's here.
Oh, my gosh, look at your huge pizza.
[chuckles] Well, that is huge. Thank you.
[Sabrina] You got pineapple on your pizza?
[Carmela] Yeah, half.
Oh, praise God.
I'll eat the half that doesn't have pineapple.
Okay.
- Mmm. - [Sabrina] It's hot.
Very good.
So I'm not gonna beat around the bush.
I know you and Jethro were having problems.
So what's going on now?
Well, he... he finally said something today that was life-changing.
I picked him up from work and he got in the car
and he said, "You know what",
if I was in your shoes
and you were in mine," he said, "I would have killed you by now."
He said, "I would never have put up
with all the [bleep] you put up with me."
He said, "I completely understand where you're coming from and I'm sorry."
And that's all it took.
Wow.
- He apologized. - [Carmela] Yeah.
That means a lot.
Yeah. And he actually, like, took ownership of the fact
that he's been [bleep] up, you know what I mean?
Before, it was always just, like, excuse after excuse. "Here's some flowers.
This will make it all better."
Or, "Let's have sex. That will make it better."
No, you know what? Saying, you know what,
if that was you and you were me and you did that to me,
I would flip out and kill you
and I wouldn't stand for that...
[Ada] Yeah.
...the fact that he said that meant a lot.
That's good. He's realizing. He is.
Yeah.
[Sabrina] I'm really happy now,
and it's really good that he is taking ownership for his mistakes,
because I want my friend back, man.
I want my genuine, kindhearted, real-deal Jethro back.
[Ada] That's good.
Guys usually don't own up like that.
Especially a Mennonite guy.
I was married to an Amish guy and they are very stubborn.
[Carmela] Yes, very.
[Ada] They hardly ever own up to anything.
Hard-headed, will not budge.
I don't think that Jethro wants to hurt Sabrina on purpose.
Everybody makes mistakes.
He is young, and when you're young, you know,
sometimes you just don't think.
But you just can't do that when you have children.
I mean, you have to be responsible.
It's a whole different ball game
when you're responsible for another human being,
because kids, they're a 24-hour job.
You can't just up and leave and take off whenever you want.
You just can't do that.
As women, you just can't let some guy tear you down
or take any crap.
Just gotta be strong and hold your ground.
[Ada] I'm just very happy for her.
This is what we do. We support each other
and we are there for each other.
We're family. We stick together.
Promise.
- We'll stick together. - Yep.
We'll stick together forever.
Yes.
[woman] ♪ Can you hear the whisper on the wind? ♪
♪ Feel the dark ♪
♪ Closing in ♪
[Maureen] I'm going to go tell my parents
that I've decided to leave the Amish,
and I'm very nervous about it.
I am afraid they won't accept the decision I made.
If they don't accept it,
I won't have any family or friends,
and I don't want that.
[mother speaking]
[Maureen] Yep.
[mother speaking]
[Maureen speaking]
[mother speaking]
[Maureen speaking]
[stepfather speaking]
[mother speaking]
Well, congratulations.
[Maureen speaking]
When my mom said that, it brought up a lot of painful memories.
[mother speaking]
[Maureen speaking]
[mother speaking]
My biological father and mother were together,
and my mom got pregnant at 16.
When she told my dad that she's pregnant, he left the Amish.
I've never met my dad.
I once tried.
And...
I had a phone. I wasn't supposed to have a phone,
and I texted him and asked him if...
It would be okay if we'd meet up somewhere
and just, like, got to know each other or just... just something.
Like, I wanted to see him. I never saw him, never saw a picture, nothing.
And it was just like, "No. You can't."
And I don't even try anymore.
It's just whatever.
[stepfather speaking]
[Maureen] It hurts that my family...
they don't want to see me if I am not Amish.
Right now I feel like they will never accept me,
but I still love them.
I still wanna be part of their life.
They're still my family.
[Rosanna] I want to talk to my brother
because we're really good friends.
[Rosanna] I'm about to go home
and tell my parents that I am going English
and I am really nervous.
But I want to talk to my brother first,
because we are really good friends.
So I am gonna see what he thinks
and get some advice and then go from there.
Hey.
My brother is supposed to wear Amish clothes.
If my mom and dad would catch him wearing English clothes...
they would probably slap them Amish clothes right on him again.
Ah, pretty good.
Yeah.
I know.
Yeah.
[Rosanna] I do feel bad for leaving,
'cause my brother has to stay.
He's right that my parents couldn't make it without one of us.
But at the same time, as an Amish man,
he would have a lot more freedom
in the community than I would have.
And I really want to go after my own dreams.
Yeah.
I'll go and talk to them.
Yeah, I think you should.
Good luck because you're gonna need it.
[Maureen speaking]
My parents tried to make me really guilty.
The worst part about telling my parents was their... voice.
Like, I wanted their support, but there was no support there.
They were, like, very stern about everything.
[sniffles]
[Ada] Nothing is more important to me in my life than Maureen.
I raised Maureen until she was 3 years old
'cause her mom had her when she was 17 years old.
Maureen's real dad up and left,
and he didn't take no responsibility for his actions.
Never paid child support or nothing.
He has nothing to do with Maureen...
which is very, very sad.
Maureen, I just don't know how that feels.
I was real close to my dad...
so... I feel really bad for you.
I won't ever be able to explain it.
But I know my stepdad loves me
and all of the others do, too, so I know I have a good life.
But it's the hardest...
when I realize I didn't have my real dad...
and he didn't want to know anything,
know anything about me.
You were like, what, 12 or 10 when you found out?
Somebody in school told you?
I remember I was like second or third grade.
My mom, she just doesn't understand
that I would never leave my family,
because I love my family
and I don't want to lose everyone.
I don't like talking about this.
I never realized how much pain Maureen was in,
because she's very quiet
and she keeps everything to herself.
It actually stabs me in my heart when she is hurt like this.
And the Amish, we don't show emotions
but when it comes to Maureen,
her pain is my pain.
[crying]
This is the hardest decision I ever had to make,
because I love Danny
and to be with Danny
I'm going to have to lose everyone and everything I love.
I have to go tell my mom that I'm leaving the Amish.
I'm afraid.
["Some Light" by ALIBI Music playing]
♪ Almost healed ♪
♪ Silently ♪
♪ Faded dreams ♪
[Rosanna] I have to go tell my mom that I'm leaving the Amish.
I don't know, like, how she's gonna react to it.
My biggest fear is, my parents won't, like, talk to me anymore.
I'm afraid they'll just, like...
like, they'll just consider me, like, not a--
Not, like, their child. Like, that's the biggest part that is-- I'm afraid of.
Hey.
I was so relieved because,
like, some parents, like, don't have anything to do with their children.
Like, they wouldn't let them come home or anything.
But my mom said I would be allowed to go home and visit and stuff.
♪ This love is rare We started out willing ♪
♪ Caught in a love That's fair ♪
♪ You're like a nice friend ♪
♪ This love is here We're stuck in a daydream ♪
It's been so long since we can all go to a bar and have some fun.
♪ Maybe we Can hide about forever ♪
They look very, very happy.
I know. Sabrina, she looks pretty happy right now.
I know. Maybe this is just a new start for her.
Yes.
Let's just hope that they don't fall back into what they were doing.
Yeah.
Since Jethro and Sabrina got back together, I'm very happy for her.
But I don't trust Jethro yet, and he has a lot of things to make up for,
especially, to Sabrina, and I just want to see him be a better dad and...
and take good care of Sabrina and the kids.
Jethro, I need another drink.
Let's go.
You look really happy.
Like, you look happier now than you ever did.
- Really? - Yeah. You do.
You were constantly worried about what everybody else is thinkin'... about you.
But now you have this... Whatever.
So, what are your intentions with Sabrina?
Are you gonna get married to her?
I want to.
I know she loves you
even though she gets mad at you.
- Any good relationship's gonna have some arguments. - Yes. Yep.
So...
I don't know. I'm just waiting on the right time.
I wanna make sure that I don't pop it on her
at a time that she's mad about something
- and she just, like, says no, you know. - Yeah.
He did a lot of stupid [bleep].
But now...
You gotta give him a clean slate
because right now you guys have a family.
Yeah.
[Jethro] I really love Sabrina more than anything.
Our relationship's been through some ups and downs.
And I feel like we've been made stronger by everything.
And...
I know that Sabrina's the one for me.
She's the love of my life.
I love my family and I...
I want them to accept...
what I-- the choice that I made.
It wasn't what I was hoping for.
They didn't accept it.
And they...
told me that I need to leave.
But what hurt me the most
is when my mom told me that I'm like my biological father.
What do you mean, biological father?
Well...
my biological father, he...
left my mom before I was born.
When he found out that my mom is pregnant,
he left the Amish.
And I didn't find this out until I was going to school.
I was probably, I don't know...
ten years old when I found out.
Because the kids started teasing me at school.
Then I asked my Mom and...
she told me that...
he left her...
and that he never wanted to be part of our life.
I would never do what he did.
You know, that's real unfair of your mom
to say that to you.
Did you ever try to meet him
or reach out to him or whatever
to find out who he was?
I...
got his number one time and I called him...
but he rejected me.
He doesn't want to be part of my life.
Wow.
And I just know that I'm not like him because...
I love my family and I...
I want them to accept the choice that I made.
Well, I mean they'll come around to it.
But what if they don't?
[Maureen] The truth is
this guy is the reason I'm leaving the Amish.
I love my Amish life but I love Danny even more.
I'm finally doing what I've been wanting to do for so long.
I'm ready to go entirely English.
[narrator] On the next episode of Return to Amish...
[Maureen] Now that Rosanna and I decided to go English,
it's time to take some chances.
So we're getting our English makeovers.
I'm just so nervous to try everything on.
I'm just gonna look so fat.
This is something that I've been
waiting for a long time.
One, two, three.
[all gasp]
I really hope that Danny thinks I'm beautiful.
Damn.
[Jethro] I'm really nervous because
I have to ask Carmela something important.
Now that I've met my actual family,
that makes me want to start my own family now.