1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,971 ** 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,406 Magic Kingdom, Epcot, 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,208 the Monorail -- where to start? 4 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:10,411 I can't wait to feel Gaston's biceps. 5 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:11,912 I can't believe we've lived in Orlando for six years 6 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,081 and never been to Disney. 7 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,149 Well, they should've allowed Orlando residents 8 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:17,485 a discount before today. 9 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,652 This is the best day ever. 10 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,654 I'm gonna ride Space Mountain till I puke. 11 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,823 Eddie, hit us with some tunage 12 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,758 to commemorate the happiest moment of our lives. 13 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,160 On it. [ Discman clicks ] 14 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:29,430 [ "Hakuna Matata" plays ] All: "Hakuna Matata!" 15 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,031 What a wonderful phrase. 16 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,735 Hakuna Matata! 17 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,705 * Ain't no passing craze 18 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:44,078 * It means no worries for the rest of your days * 19 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:49,683 * It's our problem-free philosophy * 20 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,752 * Hakuna Matata 21 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:53,221 [ Engine clunks, sputters ] 22 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,055 All: Nooooooo! 23 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,057 [ Sighs ] It's our fault. 24 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,926 We were too happy. 25 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,295 -- Captions by VITAC -- 26 00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:02,563 * Fresh off the boat 27 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,232 * I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go * 28 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,534 * If you don't know, homey, now you know * 29 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,768 * Fresh off the boat 30 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,104 * Homey, you don't know where I come from * 31 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,439 * But I know where I'm goin' 32 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:14,408 * I'm fresh off the boat 33 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:15,809 ** 34 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,612 That tow truck driver did not like you. 35 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,215 We could've had a nice, silent drive back, 36 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:24,452 but no, you had to ask that guy how he got into towing. 37 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:25,586 I wanted to butter him up 38 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,488 before asking if he ever towed a celebrity. 39 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,623 Oh, remind me, who did he tow? 40 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:31,959 Kathy Griffin. [ Door opens ] 41 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:34,128 Hey. Good news -- 42 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,464 I finally found the wrench I needed to fix your van. 43 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,166 Oh, great! 44 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:41,135 See, Louis, I told you it's not a big deal. 45 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,836 Ah, I should've told you the bad news first. 46 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,472 The wrench didn't do so much. 47 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,806 You need to take her to a mechanic. 48 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,941 This job is beyond my capability. 49 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,477 It took you six hours 50 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,479 to determine it's beyond your capability? 51 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,081 You had mice in your air filter. 52 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,949 I saw a live birth. 53 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,285 20 babies. 54 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,653 Fine, we'll have it towed to the mechanic tomorrow. 55 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,290 Eddie can use the Cattlecar to drive the boys around. 56 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,625 Man, I can't believe the van is so out of shape. 57 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,860 Maybe if you didn't constantly ride her brakes 58 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,462 and just let the old gal dance... 59 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,798 Me?! You're the one who comes to a complete stop 60 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,166 at every intersection. 61 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,468 Why don't you just roll through like a normal person? 62 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,305 That's why I love the ocean. No stop signs. 63 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:20,474 You try to put one up, it sinks right to the bottom. 64 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,476 Can't you just put it on a buoy? 65 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,178 Oh, you have a three-mile-long anchor 66 00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,913 to keep that buoy in place, wise-ass? 67 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,484 We have to clean out the van before the tow truck arrives. 68 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:31,485 They steal. 69 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:35,989 ** 70 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,326 Oh, look, a receipt 71 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,828 from that time we got Sheila washed professionally. 72 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,897 Oh, I saved that in case I wanted to return the car wash. 73 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,267 Remember? It was right after you tased me. 74 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,671 Richard Ramirez, Night Stalker! [ Electricity buzzing ] 75 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,705 [ Groans ] 76 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,173 What a memory. 77 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,875 Mm. It's trash. 78 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,644 That's fine. I have another keepsake. 79 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,178 The taser threw off my heartbeat. 80 00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,080 It skips a thump-thump every now and then. 81 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,482 Keep cleaning. 82 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:07,154 ** 83 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,489 Whoa. A fry. 84 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,358 It's hard as a rock. Dibs. 85 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,760 Oh! My old earpiece! Wow. 86 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,862 I lost this on the trip down here from D.C. 87 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,265 Louis: * I saw the sign 88 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:20,601 * And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign * 89 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,935 * Life is dema-- Ugh, Dad, turn off the music! 90 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,404 Six years later, and we're still 91 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,905 a bunch of dorks singing in a van. 92 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,774 Check it out. My old swim trunks! 93 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,109 Oh, from when we tried to take the van for a joyride. 94 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,244 Wait! 95 00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:31,945 We need our bathing suits for Wet 'n Wild! 96 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,814 My swimmies! 97 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,924 We did not make it far. 98 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,459 What's this map? 99 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,060 Let me see that bad boy. 100 00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,964 I drew this map after we buried that time capsule in D.C. 101 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:51,899 I wonder if it's still there. 102 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,601 A map? Possible treasure? 103 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:56,604 It's like "The Goonies," but with three Asian boys! 104 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,407 Three inoffensive Asian boys. Hmm. 105 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,775 I can't even remember what we put in that time capsule. 106 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,644 Hmm. I was 10. 107 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,379 But if I know young Eddie, 108 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,114 that little scamp probably put a bag of farts in there. 109 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:10,284 How you got a 1500 on your SATs, I'll never know. 110 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,886 Yeah. To be honest, I never thought you'd get into college. 111 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,288 Yeah, we just assumed you'd live at home forever. 112 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,289 Me too. 113 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,157 Turns out my brain had other plans. 114 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,727 It's gonna be weird when it's not the three of us anymore. 115 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,795 Yeah. It just won't be the same. 116 00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:24,398 ** 117 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,466 Poor Sheila. 118 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,335 We bought this van on our wedding night. 119 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,136 I taught Eddie how to drive in it. 120 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,771 I remember things, too, Louis. 121 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:33,907 It's just we've been through so much with this van. 122 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,008 So many memories. 123 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,778 Yes. Here's a new memory -- 124 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,179 I'm taking this car down to Kareem's. 125 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,180 You stay here. 126 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,615 They always talk you 127 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:45,018 into buying unnecessary upgrades and nonsensical trinkets. 128 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:48,322 I'm sure I have no idea what you mean. 129 00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,123 Oh. 130 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,291 So I always know 131 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,960 where to put my hands on the steering wheel. 132 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:57,331 ** 133 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,966 Ah. 134 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,468 Is that suit really necessary? 135 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,003 Hey, I respect our piano teacher. 136 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,105 The first song he taught us was "Chopsticks." 137 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,307 Does that not bother you? Because it bothers me. 138 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,642 Well, I'm glad you guys 139 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,310 have mixed feelings on this piano teacher 140 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,212 because... you're not going. 141 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,514 But we're finally gonna find out 142 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,882 what that middle pedal does today! 143 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,316 Well, this pedal hits the gas, 144 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,785 and we're riding it all the way to D.C. 145 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,986 What?!What?! 146 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,154 We're finally doing that Huang boys road trip. 147 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,023 And this time, there's no stopping us. 148 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,459 Oh, we're way below E. 149 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,127 Did you guys bring your wallet? 150 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,498 Because typically, the driver doesn't pay for gas, so... [ Sighs ] 151 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,299 * Yeah 152 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,668 This close call with Sheila's really got me thinking 153 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,169 how much I take her for granted. 154 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,839 As soon as we get her back, I'm gonna change her oil every day. 155 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,308 You know who burns a lot of oil? 156 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,743 Dale Earnhardt. 157 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,545 What a racist. 158 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:45,979 You mean, "racer"? 159 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,981 Ma, you gotta go back to using Mandarin. 160 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,249 You're gonna get in trouble. 161 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:50,818 [ Door opens ] 162 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,886 Hey! How's the van doing? 163 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:53,887 Great. 164 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,355 I sold it. 165 00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,931 You sold Sheila?! 166 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,098 It needed too much work 167 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,200 and the mechanic at Kareem's offered to buy it. 168 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,736 It was the pragmatic solution. 169 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,738 I can't believe you made such a big decision 170 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,172 without consulting me! 171 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,943 Says the guy who purchased multiple vehicles without me -- 172 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:19,279 the Accord, the riding lawn mower, the 40-foot RV -- 173 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,114 It was 35, but point taken. 174 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,450 And this is different. 175 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,217 She was practically a member of our family. 176 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,053 There are days I wish she lived in the garage 177 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:26,854 instead of Grandma. 178 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,756 Every day I wish that. 179 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,758 But Louis, this is just a hunk of metal. 180 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,126 Get over it. [ Scoffs ] 181 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,930 Robo-Cop was just a hunk of metal, and he saved a town! 182 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,633 I assume. Never saw it. 183 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,735 ** 184 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,271 Okay, the Cattlecar's got a full tank, 185 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,574 and I got the next three meals taken care of -- 186 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:47,741 bag o' hot dogs. 187 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,376 I'm vegan. I don't eat hot dogs. 188 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,611 Me neither. 189 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,913 After I read "mechanically separated" on the label. 190 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,448 [ Groans ] It doesn't matter. 191 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,949 We're not going on a road trip to D.C. 192 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:56,984 Yes, you are! 193 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,486 You guys need to learn to live a little. 194 00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,787 I'm gonna be gone soon. There's gonna be nobody around 195 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,755 to teach you guys how to have fun. 196 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,957 Fun? You're about to drive us 1,200 miles 197 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,460 with no plan, no luggage, 198 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,661 and a bagful of gas station hot dogs. 199 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,763 And I don't even have my night guard. 200 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,932 Guys, we'll figure that out as we go. 201 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,133 That's the fun of it! 202 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,768 Oh yeah, gonna be a real bounce house 203 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,970 when Mom figures out we've been missing for two days. 204 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,438 I've already got that covered. 205 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,508 I told Mom we're having a sleepover at Walter's. 206 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,910 As long as we're back tomorrow by 8:00 p.m., we're good. 207 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,945 Okay, what're you hiding? 208 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,347 Most Eddie adventures are all about Eddie. 209 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,682 Hence the name. 210 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:31,151 Ed-ventures. 211 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,753 Never mind. I'll trademark that later. 212 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,454 You guys are right. I do want something -- 213 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,957 I wanna find out what's inside that time capsule. 214 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:37,958 Don't you? 215 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,093 I'm a little intrigued. Yeah. 216 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,262 Baseball cards, stamps, comic books. 217 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,464 You guys were into a ton of nerd crap. 218 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,133 Hell of a sales pitch, Eddie. 219 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,537 Sorry, nerd...stuff. 220 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:52,139 Point is, real people are into that junk now. 221 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,306 That's true. 222 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,474 There could be something in there worth money. 223 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:57,044 Yes! And depending on how deep we buried it, 224 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,145 we could hit oil. 225 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,447 ** 226 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,115 Okay, we're in. 227 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,617 * Yeah 228 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,885 You packed shovels, right? 229 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:07,220 Sure. 230 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:09,857 [ Laughter, indistinct conversations ] 231 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,793 [ Plates clattering loudly ] 232 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,628 Ho, boss. Whoa. 233 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:15,896 What's with the heavy cattle hands here? 234 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,365 Things okay at home? It's Jessica. 235 00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,633 Ohh. Divorce? 236 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,068 You did it, Lou. 237 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,136 Well, the first time always feels the best. 238 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,472 Honestly, we all saw it coming. 239 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,307 Mi futon es su futon. 240 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,143 Hector, it's happening! What? No! 241 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,478 Our van's dead. 242 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,980 Sheila?! She was family! 243 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,414 How are you even at work right now? 244 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,649 See? You get it. 245 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,817 That van's been a part of so many memories, 246 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,886 and it's like Jessica doesn't even care. 247 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,187 We bought it on our wedding night. 248 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,755 Yeah, when I said goodbye to my Jag, 249 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,356 I didn't leave my house for a month. 250 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,858 Couldn't even bear the sight of another car. 251 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,259 Still can't. 252 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,195 She always sweeps her emotions under the rug, 253 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,930 and that isn't a healthy way to grieve. 254 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,031 Or clean. 255 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,100 Whoa, Trent with the quick wit. 256 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,267 Orange lightning. 257 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,936 I've been trying to pay better attention. 258 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,538 Well, it's working. I don't know, Lou. 259 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,073 This doesn't make any sense to me. 260 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,209 Maybe the car doesn't mean that much to Jessica. 261 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,711 Of course it means something to her. 262 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,913 I have to help her learn to process her feelings, 263 00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,781 get her to admit she's sad about the van. 264 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,884 If she doesn't, I'm worried it'll explode out of her. 265 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,219 Like the alien in "Alien." 266 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,221 Oof, I do not see scary movies anymore 267 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,724 ever since I did a pee-pee during "The Exorcist." 268 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:20,027 ** 269 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:24,097 * And the caravan is painted red and white * 270 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,699 What are you doing? 271 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:28,101 Oh, listening to a little Van Morrison. 272 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,570 Reading about Martin Van Buren. 273 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:33,073 Eating some van- illa ice cream. 274 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,608 Just another normal day in Louis-ville. 275 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,977 Louis, you're not a multitasker. 276 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,446 You're gonna give yourself a cold. 277 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,649 * ...tells us of her ways * 278 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,816 [ Sighs ] 279 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,484 * La, la, la-la 280 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,552 Hey! 281 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,553 We just passed the sign 282 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,788 for the world's biggest peanut. 283 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,456 You guys always wanted to see that, right? 284 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,625 Both: Peanut! Peanut! 285 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:55,128 All: Peanut! Peanut! Peanut! Peanut! 286 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:58,966 * Turn up 287 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,634 * Your radio 288 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,670 [ Metal clinks ] 289 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,639 * And let me hear a song Louis. 290 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:10,143 Why am I sleeping on an auto part? 291 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,112 Oh, how'd that get there? Poor little guy. 292 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,115 Probably misses you and all the memories you had together. 293 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:18,819 [ Scoffs ] * What is really wrong 294 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,288 Eddie: I know this is a controversial take, 295 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,290 but I'm more of a moon guy. 296 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,625 If this is a set-up to you mooning us, 297 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,294 I'm not falling for it again. [ Chuckles ] 298 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,529 You guys are getting smarter. 299 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:32,666 Louis: You know what we never do anymore? 300 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,935 Walk down memory lane. 301 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,603 You know... [ Fabric creaks ] 302 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,973 ...relive our wedding night, when we bought the van? 303 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,274 It was magical. 304 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,777 Oh, Louis. 305 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,813 I've been thinking about the van, too. 306 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,480 You have? 307 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,282 Yes. 308 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,451 We have to get rid of that poop-mobile. 309 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,820 * La-la, la la 310 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,287 [ Chuckles ] 311 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,157 I think I might've put on your tuxedo by mistake, 312 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,491 because this is tight. 313 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,293 [ Groans ] [ Fabric creaks ] 314 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,529 ** 315 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,364 Well, we made it to D.C. 316 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,866 With time to spare. 317 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,634 And that includes the three hours we wasted 318 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,870 before we realized you were driving to Washington state. 319 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,805 Hey, I didn't hear many complaints 320 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,707 when you were dipping your toes in the Chattahoochee. 321 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,877 Guys, don't hate me, but I've gotta quote Madonna here -- 322 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,879 this used to be our playground. 323 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,514 I'll allow it. [ Sighs ] 324 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,582 We used to love those swings. 325 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,051 Hey, and the metal slide. 326 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,319 Eddie burned his butt on it that summer. Worth it. 327 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,321 I made 2 bucks off Grandma. 328 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,557 Okay, now let's bust out this map and get to digging. 329 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,827 [ Stomach grumbles ] 330 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,096 Ugh, those hot dogs are starting to fight back. 331 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,365 [ Stomach grumbles ] So, if "X" marks the spot, 332 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,200 why are there so many on here? 333 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,269 To throw people off the scent in case someone finds our map. 334 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,571 So, you have no idea which "X" is the right one. 335 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,705 This map is useless. 336 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,775 Hey! Don't be mad at 10-year-old Eddie. 337 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,042 That dude was the best. 338 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,046 Guys, it's not the end of the world. 339 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,547 So we have to dig a few more holes. 340 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,749 We'll do it together. 341 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,019 [ Stomach grumbling ] 342 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,754 [ Sighs ] 343 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,655 Eddie: Try over there by the tree. 344 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,227 I have an idea -- why don't you help us find the time capsule? 345 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,929 I can't. I keep throwing up. 346 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,564 And half of me is shivering, and half of me is sweating. 347 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,200 I'm not a doctor, but I think I might've picked up 348 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,102 a waterborne parasite in the Chattahooch'. 349 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,636 Or maybe it was one of the two dozen 350 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,138 gas station hot dogs that you ate. 351 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,439 I hope not. 352 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,441 Last time I was taken down by a pack of gas dogs, 353 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,910 I was out of commission for days. 354 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,778 Last time? Why do you keep eating them? 355 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,579 Why do they keep making them? 356 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,048 If you can't drive us home in time, 357 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,449 Mom's gonna find out and kill us. 358 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,084 I-I-I think I can drive. 359 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:34,587 I just can't sit, think, or process moving objects. 360 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:37,290 Of course this is happening. This is so typical Eddie. 361 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,626 Sorry for trying to show you guys a fun time. 362 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,161 This is fun to you?! 363 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,629 You're doubled over in the fetal position, 364 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,298 we're digging holes, stressed out about how to get home. 365 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,434 And I'm wearing a suit! 366 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,136 You're the best-dressed guy in this local park. 367 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,403 What are you complaining about? 368 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,805 You know what? Who cares. 369 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,941 At least this is the last time we're gonna have to do this. 370 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,608 What's that supposed to mean? 371 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:56,776 It means you'll be gone, 372 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,311 and we won't have to deal with your nonsense. 373 00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,780 Can't come soon enough for me. 374 00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:01,781 Aah. 375 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:05,585 I'll be in the car. Windows down. 376 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,487 God, I can't take Eddie anymore. 377 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,022 He's the worst. [ Shovel clangs ] 378 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:16,363 Hey, Louis, look. Automatic sliding doors. 379 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,468 It's not fast or practical, but I must have it. 380 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,270 But so expensive. 381 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,873 I wonder if they have any used ones. 382 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,142 Would ya lookie here! 383 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,810 It's Sheila. 384 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,779 Would you like to say anything to her? 385 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,048 Louis, that's enough! It's just a car! 386 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,316 Jessica, it's ridiculous 387 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,551 that our van doesn't mean anything to you. 388 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:42,489 We raised our family in this. It's practically a part of us! 389 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,124 Look at them. 390 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,894 [ Conversing indistinctly ] 391 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,061 Really? Nothing? 392 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,829 [ Sighs ] Hey, I'm Calvin. 393 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,231 Can I help put you in a van today? 394 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:55,235 Wait. You look familiar. 395 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,569 Didn't you buy a giant RV, 396 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,039 then try to return it with your wife's picture on the side? 397 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,574 No, that doesn't sound like us. 398 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,043 [ Engine starts, tires squeal ] 399 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,478 'Cause I could swear that's her. 400 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,347 Stealing one of our vans. 401 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,983 [ Tires squeal ] Whoa! 402 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,751 She just blew through that stop sign. 403 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,557 So, your wife just drove off the property? 404 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,761 That's pretty bad-ass, except for the felony part. 405 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,763 Oh, I knew something bad like this might happen. 406 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,066 She's been repressing her feelings, and it's not healthy. 407 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:26,934 Sure. 408 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,401 We have two options here. 409 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,570 We can either call the police 410 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,706 or we can buddy-cop this mother ourselves 411 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,042 and chase her down. 412 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,610 Um, the not call-the-police one. 413 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,246 I was really hoping you'd say that. 414 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,048 It's been a fantasy of mine for a while. 415 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,950 Oh, great. We need to hurry. She's getting away. 416 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,618 [ Chuckles ] That's how the fantasy always starts. 417 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:48,555 Unfortunately, I'm only allowed to take a vehicle off the lot 418 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,756 if it's for a test drive. 419 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,558 Fine! Whatever it takes, let's go! 420 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,593 Great! I just need your license 421 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,395 so I can make a few copies, we have to fill out a few forms, 422 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,230 then we'll be on our way. 423 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,765 Alright. 424 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,600 Um, hey, which car do you wanna take as the chase van? 425 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,136 Uh, the blue, the gold, or the red? 426 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,604 Any car is fine. 427 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,707 Heyyy, Calvin's got one on the hook. 428 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,944 ** 429 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,779 I can't believe we found the time capsule. 430 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,281 I can't believe how many pet collars we dug up. 431 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,782 So many named "Rover." 432 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,117 Mm. Take 10 minutes to brainstorm. 433 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,818 It's a member of your family. 434 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,253 Let's just hope there's something 435 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,822 valuable enough in here to get us plane tickets home. Yeah. 436 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:25,825 [ Gasps ] My rubber ducky! 437 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,227 Ronnie Hardnose! 438 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,096 That's right. You were in a big bath phase. 439 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,598 I was into self-care before it got cool. Mm. 440 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,301 A bag of farts. 441 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,136 Eddie. At least he's consistent. 442 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:39,772 A picture of Mom? 443 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:40,773 That's mine! 444 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,609 [ Sighs ] She hasn't aged a day. 445 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,179 I remember why we put this stuff in here. 446 00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,780 We were super sad about moving. 447 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,849 And Eddie said if we buried our most prized possessions, 448 00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,618 we'd always have a reason to come back here. 449 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,154 He was right. 450 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,456 10-year-old Eddie really was the best dude. 451 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,358 Present-day Eddie's not too bad either. 452 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,459 Hmm. We're lucky to have him. 453 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,129 Mm. 454 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,696 [ Chuckles ] You're not gonna believe this. 455 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,432 Eddie's at the back of this photo, 456 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,633 and look what he's holding. 457 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,668 A hot dog?! 458 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:09,569 I mean, what is his deal? 459 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,805 [ Tires screech ] 460 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,607 [ Engine revs, tires squeal ] 461 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,675 Damn! 462 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,044 Did she just swerve to make a right turn 463 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,178 all the way from the left lane? 464 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,279 She trying to lose us? 465 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,680 No. That's just how she drives. 466 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,215 [ Tires screeching ] 467 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:25,385 Crap! Where'd she go? 468 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,886 [ Window whirs, tires screeching ] 469 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,621 [ Pedestrians screaming, horns honking ] 470 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,157 Oh. She's going west. 471 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,559 Which we know, thanks to the in-mirror digital compass. 472 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,228 Honestly, I don't know how much more technology 473 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:36,996 you could put in a car. Alright, I get it. 474 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:39,899 We found the time capsule. 475 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,035 What was in it -- betrayal? 476 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,536 Actually, it was a rubber duck, 477 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,238 a picture of Mom, and a bag of farts. 478 00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:46,206 Ew. 479 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,507 A picture of Mom? 480 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,009 Sorry about earlier. It really was a fun trip. 481 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,911 Yeah, thanks for kidnapping us. 482 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,813 You were right -- we needed it. 483 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:54,981 Actually, you were right. 484 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,749 I wasn't doing it for you, I did it for me. 485 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,185 I wanted more time with you. 486 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,920 I'm gonna miss you guys. 487 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,091 Alright, let's go. I'll drive. 488 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,392 Are you sure you can do it? 489 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,994 Not at all. But we're gonna try. 490 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,396 One last adventure. 491 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,364 Ed-venture. 492 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,933 [ Engine sputtering ] 493 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,268 Louis: She's pulling over. 494 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,604 Probably 'cause we only put a gallon of gas in there. 495 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:20,107 Remember, Kareem play defense first. Ah. 496 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,842 Thanks for letting me borrow the van for a test-drive, Calvin. 497 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,211 Hey, I got an extra ticket tomorrow night 498 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,212 to the Orlando Magic. 499 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,279 Wanna come with? 500 00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:28,115 [ Seatbelt clicks ] 501 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,582 [ Door opens ] 502 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,253 [ Voice breaking ] I always overstep. 503 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:39,058 Um, Jessica? You stole a car. 504 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,260 Yeah. 505 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,228 Why? 506 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,595 Because of you. 507 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:43,630 Me?! 508 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:44,731 Yes! 509 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,433 You kept pushing me and pushing me, 510 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,600 and I finally snapped. 511 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,436 Well, I pushed you to confront your feelings 512 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:52,105 because it's crazy that this van means nothing to you. 513 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,574 Of course the van means something to me. 514 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,042 Taking it to the mechanic 515 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,478 was one of the worst days of my life... 516 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,381 I'm not leaving without a free oil change. 517 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,717 And I want you to take down that naked lady calendar behind you. 518 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,053 Unfortunately, the van's gonna need more than an oil change. 519 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,321 I mean, truth be told, 520 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,089 it's gonna cost so much to repair, 521 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,324 you might as well sell it. 522 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,092 You mean you can't fix it? 523 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,494 I know, it's tough. 524 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,329 I mean, I see it all the time with a family minivan -- 525 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,397 you know, you ride it hard, 526 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,598 take it everywhere with the kids. 527 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,469 It's no wonder these things break down. 528 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,137 But hey, it's just a hunk of metal, right? 529 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,674 Right. Uh, I think I left my purse in the van. 530 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,608 Let me just go get it. 531 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,709 Okay. 532 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:33,646 [ Grunts ] 533 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:41,288 ** 534 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:44,957 I hated to give up the van, but it was the only real choice. 535 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,694 Well, then why were you so quick to research new cars? 536 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,596 I was coping. 537 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,664 I was trying to tell myself it would be okay. 538 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,300 But it's not just the van, Louis. 539 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,701 Our nest is thinning. 540 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:58,037 The boys are growing up, and it's all happening so fast. 541 00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,006 And when you squeezed into that tuxedo -- 542 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:04,277 It totally fit. ...and kept showing me pictures of us and the van, 543 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,513 it just made it hurt more. 544 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,114 I wasn't expecting to see it again, 545 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,649 and then I did, and... 546 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:12,185 [ Scoffs ] I don't know, I snapped. 547 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:15,121 Jessica, I had no idea. I'm so sorry for pushing you. 548 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,490 It's okay that we grieve differently. 549 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:20,126 I know you like to immediately talk everything through, 550 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,294 but that's just not me. 551 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,129 I see that now. 552 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,565 So, how did you even find me? 553 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,067 A good husband knows how to stalk his wife. 554 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,303 You followed my path of destruction, didn't you? 555 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,039 I still don't know how you missed that stroller. 556 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,012 We finally made it to Disney World. 557 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,381 What a great day. 558 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,082 Grandma: The part I liked the most 559 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:47,554 was I accidentally joined a different family. 560 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,921 You gotta admit, Jessica, 561 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,590 today was totally worth the splurge. 562 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,693 And what a splurge it was. 563 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,928 [ Dramatic note plays ] 564 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,564 * Yeah 565 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,699 I can't believe you got Kareem to throw in a free set of tires 566 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,033 considering we were negotiating 567 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,769 against a grand theft auto charge. 568 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,204 I also got him to throw in these. 569 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,408 One hand up, one around my lady. 570 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:11,744 Don't make me regret not going for the headlight eyelashes. 571 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,747 Today was great, but not as great 572 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,283 as that sleepover at Walter's. 573 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,017 Yes, Walter's was fun. 574 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,252 We slept there overnight 575 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:22,188 and did not get a speeding ticket in North Carolina. 576 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,423 Oh, God. 577 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,158 There's so much to teach you and so little time.