1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,038 Wow, another anniversary. [ Sighs ] 2 00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:06,140 Seems like we were just kids when we got into this. 3 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:08,342 No one thought we'd make it this far. 4 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:10,544 When this all started, I was just a man with a dream 5 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,713 walking into a run-down strip club. 6 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,548 And look at us now. 7 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,819 Happy Cattleman's Anniversary, Louis. 8 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,588 Happy Cattleman's Anniversary. 9 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,725 Oh! For me? 10 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,728 Usually you just give a present to the restaurant. 11 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,364 This year's different. Open it! 12 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:34,535 Who's "Roth Ira"? It's a retirement account. 13 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,370 I opened one in your name and one in my name 14 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:37,538 when we started the restaurant. 15 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,440 We've done so well that we're now on track 16 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,041 to retire at 55! 17 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,610 Mm. 18 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:46,080 Uh, were you thinking we'd retire at 57? 19 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,449 60? 20 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,119 Never. 21 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,620 We are never retiring. 22 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,689 Trent: Mr. Huang, you shouldn't have. 23 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,192 [ Deep voice ] I'm the luckiest bear in Orlando! 24 00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,293 Ha ha ha! 25 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,063 Is this cashmere? 26 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,634 * Fresh off the boat 27 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,369 * I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go * 28 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,638 * If you don't know, homey, now you know * 29 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,905 * Fresh off the boat 30 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,242 * Homey, you don't know where I come from * 31 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,709 * But I know where I'm goin' 32 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,479 * I'm fresh off the boat 33 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,653 Eddie: Tina told me to work on myself and become a better man, 34 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,655 so I got you, Journal. 35 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:28,756 Will she be impressed? 36 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,057 Evan: My guess is yes. 37 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,392 Journaling will show Tina 38 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,261 you can indulge your introspective side. 39 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,729 Hey! It's not cool to read over someone's shoulder, man. 40 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:36,730 I would never! 41 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:37,931 You were talking out loud. 42 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,267 You were, actually. We heard every word. 43 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:43,571 When you boys turn 21, you can read my journal. 44 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,738 Here's a tip from someone 45 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,240 who's been keeping a dream journal 46 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,408 for the past six years -- 47 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,610 write with your mouth closed. 48 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,911 Emery: Evan, we share a room, 49 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,246 and I've never seen this journal. 50 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,248 That's because it's private. I hid it. 51 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,116 You can be... a little nosy. 52 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,620 Hey, do you ever dream about a witch with cold hands? 53 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,524 Um, never mind. It's probably nothing. 54 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,592 [ Chuckles ] [ Door opens ] 55 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,427 Jessica: Off to school! 56 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,795 Bye, Mommy. 57 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:11,999 Behold -- the youngest student at Orlando State University. 58 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,434 Prove it. 59 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,204 Fine. Youngest-looking. Same difference. 60 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,138 Well, congrats! How was your registration? 61 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,308 Well, we took a couple runs at my photo I.D., 62 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,510 but we finally got there. 63 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,944 The only problem is, 64 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,948 my educational administration classes are so expensive, 65 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,950 I could only afford to take one a semester. 66 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,886 Well, I know which class you should take next -- 67 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,722 Retirement 101. 68 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,690 Now, I know you said you never want to retire, 69 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,492 but you haven't seen Rancho Contento. 70 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,993 They're accepting early-bird deposits. 71 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,162 It's a planned community in Santa Barbara 72 00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,232 and the perfect place for us to sunset. 73 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,200 These people look like 74 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:49,470 they're in a commercial for stool softener. Well, exactly. 75 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,738 They're relaxed and unencumbered, 76 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,540 just like we'll be when we retire there. 77 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,376 Every morning, we'll walk to the pier. 78 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,378 [ Piano music plays ] 79 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,046 [ Seagulls crying ] 80 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:02,483 Louis: You'll fish, like you used to when you were a kid. 81 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,018 I'll read a charming local newspaper. 82 00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,687 [ Laughs ] 83 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,922 Then we'll go back to our bungalow 84 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,825 to enjoy a bottle of homemade wine 85 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,761 as we watch the sunset. 86 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,929 And the best part is, unlike now, 87 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,732 when we're busy with the boys and the PTA and the restaurant, 88 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,568 we'll get to spend all our time together. 89 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,671 Well, that part does sound nice, but I'm sorry, Louis. 90 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,907 I just pictured our retirement very differently. 91 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:27,975 [ Flashbulb pops ] 92 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,679 But that was nothing. Exactly. 93 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,847 Retirement makes you stupid, Louis. 94 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,516 You have to keep moving, 95 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,084 or else your brain will turn to mush. 96 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,419 We'll retire when we die. 97 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,088 Our bodies make that decision for us, not ourselves. 98 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,192 [ School bell rings ] 99 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,694 [ Indistinct conversations ] 100 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,762 [ Exhales sharply ] 101 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,966 Oh, oopsie! Oh, hey, Tina. I didn't see you sitting there. 102 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,702 It's no big deal. It's just a journal. 103 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,770 I really like to indulge my introspective side. 104 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,106 You know, like a guy who's really working on himself. 105 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,874 Your shirt's on inside out. 106 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,376 Uh... 107 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,745 Uh, it's really hard to dress your body 108 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,214 when you're so deep inside your mind. Uh-huh. 109 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,518 Yeah, I was just journaling about that exact thing. 110 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,921 [ Clicks tongue, sighs ] 111 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,624 All I'm saying is, I took polka for three years. 112 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:17,891 I'm gonna crush "DDR." 113 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,628 I've been practicing my "DDR" footwork for weeks. 114 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,530 I'm practicing my "DDR" right now. 115 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:29,069 Guys, quick question -- what the hell is "DDR"? 116 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,771 Uh, "Dance Dance Revolution." 117 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,105 It's this new video game 118 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,974 that you play with your feet instead of your thumbs. 119 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,909 It's at an arcade across town, 120 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,278 and we were hoping you could drive us. [ Sighs ] Why not? 121 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,648 I won't be hanging with the girl of my dreams anyway. 122 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,616 Oh, buddy. Lay it on us. 123 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:43,651 Tina didn't like Journal? 124 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,185 I can't figure her out! 125 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,754 I want to become a better man for her, but... 126 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,422 what does that even mean? 127 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,791 How can this be better? You're the total package! 128 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,093 You said it, not me. Now, back to me and Tina. 129 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,629 So, basically, I've tried everything to get her back. 130 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:56,797 So sometimes, I'm, like, 131 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,499 does she really want me to be a better man 132 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,267 or does she just like that Pearl Jam song? 133 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,269 I mean, it's a good song, but I just feel like 134 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,772 it's influenced a whole generation of girls. 135 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,273 Or I could write her a sonnet, 136 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,875 but then I'd have to learn what a sonnet is. 137 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,142 So, yeah, that's where my head's at. 138 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,844 [ School bell rings ] 139 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:13,213 Oh, dang. We were just getting started. 140 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,982 Hey. 141 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,183 Tina's your sister. Help me out. 142 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,552 Just tell me what she likes. 143 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,455 Lately, all she can talk about is "Sex and the City." 144 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,890 At first, I was worried 145 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,025 she was following Trish down her dark path. 146 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,860 But turns out, it's just a TV show. 147 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:27,728 ** 148 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,136 [ Door opens, closes ] 149 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,005 Hey, Deidre. 150 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,508 And, uh, Richard. [ Chuckles ] 151 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,543 Oh. If I knew we were having guests over, 152 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,478 I would've put out the fun welcome mat. 153 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,846 Oh, I invited Deidre over 154 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,748 to sell me some of her floozy makeup. 155 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:50,183 Okay. 156 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,319 Hello, beautiful insert-name-of-customer! 157 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,587 I -- Oh. 158 00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:54,822 Um... 159 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,624 Sorry. I'm nervous. 160 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,727 Hello, beautiful Jessica! 161 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,561 Hello. 162 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,162 [ Chuckles ] 163 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,998 Spring is all about the shimmer. 164 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,267 Get fudged! 165 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,202 I forgot my neutral nudes. 166 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,704 It's just -- 167 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:11,772 One second. 168 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,543 Okay. 169 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,710 You hate Deidre, 170 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,446 and you always say "Makeup is for uglies." 171 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,080 Why would you invite her over here? 172 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,182 Oh, I'm just supporting small local businesses, 173 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,384 like I always do. 174 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:27,521 But, hey, while I'm doing this, 175 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,690 maybe you could hang out with Richard. 176 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,025 You know, he retired early. Oh. 177 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,027 I see what you're doing, Jessica. 178 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,095 You want me to see 179 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,697 that retirement has made Richard stupid. 180 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,865 Well, guess what. 181 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,800 Retirement isn't stupid, and neither is Richard. 182 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,801 Oh, please. 183 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,971 He married Deidre. Case closed. 184 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,239 Oh. 185 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,708 Sorry. Could you hear that? 186 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,042 I'm listening to an audiobook. 187 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:52,646 Oh! What a productive way to spend your retirement. 188 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,148 Jessica and I were just starting to think about that stuff. 189 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,216 I'd love to pick your brain. 190 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,217 Or what's left of it. 191 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,719 Well, why don't we leave the ladies 192 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,454 to their Mary Kay and go to my place? 193 00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:01,955 I can show you my training room. 194 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:03,423 I built it myself when I retired. 195 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,258 Oh, you hear that, Jessica? 196 00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:06,560 Since Richard is retired, 197 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,395 he has time to build himself a home gym. 198 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,130 [ Chuckles ] I'd love to see it. 199 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,398 Fire up a lat pole. 200 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,800 [ Chuckles ] Great. 201 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,668 But, actually, it's not a home gym. 202 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:16,904 I-It's a room for my model train. 203 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,072 I like to watch it go through the tunnels. 204 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,441 Every time, I don't think it's gonna come out, 205 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,776 but [Laughing] then it does! 206 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,782 Mm. 207 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:31,151 Thanks again for letting me watch your HBO, Uncle Marvin. 208 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,252 Are you kidding? 209 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,954 I should be thanking you for introducing me 210 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,189 to this pun-tastic look at the lives and loves 211 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,025 of these crazy "Sex and the City" gals. 212 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,292 Yeah. [ Laughs ] 213 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,328 Honestly, I don't know why Tina likes this show. 214 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,596 All they do is eat brunch, 215 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,665 walk to brunch, or miss a brunch. Ah. 216 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,099 Feels like a lot of brunches. 217 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,835 Well, I know what I like about this show, 218 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,637 and it's right there in the title. 219 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:51,805 The city. 220 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,340 Oh, thank God. 221 00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:56,143 I've never seen the Big Apple look so vibrant. 222 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,611 The food, the cabs, 223 00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,979 the fresh possibility 224 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,814 of a fistfight around every corner. 225 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,816 I can see why these gals date so much. 226 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,885 It'd be hard not to fall in love in NYC. 227 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,453 [ Chuckles ] 228 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:13,126 ** 229 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,728 What are you doing? 230 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,800 Hey, I thought you were sleeping. 231 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,869 I was acting. 232 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,037 All right, I'm headed off to orientation. 233 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,806 I hope everyone came prepared, 234 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,575 because I don't loan out pencils. 235 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,810 Surprise! 236 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,478 I took the morning off so I could drive you to school. 237 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,481 Aww, Louis, that is so sweet. 238 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,383 Open my door for me when we get there. 239 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,786 I want everyone to think I'm a trust-fund baby. 240 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,524 How are they gonna think you're a trust-fund baby 241 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:47,027 if you're carrying your books in Mom's Mervyn's bag? 242 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,829 Bill Gates flies coach. 243 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,998 Louis, you missed your turn. No, I didn't. 244 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,900 Because today, you're not going to school. 245 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,501 And I'm not going to work. 246 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,270 Today, we're retired. What? 247 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,271 I'm gonna show you what our lives 248 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,207 will be like at Rancho Contento. 249 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,011 [ Chuckles ] 250 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,579 Are you contento yet? 251 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,247 It means "happy." 252 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,521 [ Sighs ] Look at us -- two relaxed retirees. 253 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,256 Don't you feel...free? 254 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,592 No. I feel like I'm being kidnapped. 255 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,695 Can't we pretend to be old, lazy people another day? 256 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,964 You got your turn to show me what you think retirement will be like 257 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:24,965 with Richard. 258 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,066 Now it's my turn. 259 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,135 I spent two hours in that train room. 260 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,771 [ Shudders ] I can still hear the choo-choos. 261 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,040 Okay, fine. Let's be retired. 262 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,609 But if my brain turns to mush, it's on you. Great! 263 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,546 What is this place? Are we at a mall? 264 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,716 No, it's an outdoor shopping center. 265 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,817 But this is just an example. 266 00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,886 The pier at Rancho Contento will be much better. 267 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,221 And we won't hear the screams from the piercing kiosk. 268 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,923 That's the only part I like. 269 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,059 Focus on the fishing. 270 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,095 O, Lady Sea, will she release her scaled bounty 271 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,798 or drag us all to her murky depths? 272 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,967 That man fell asleep with a burrito in his mouth. 273 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,669 Well, he earned that. 274 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:05,605 After a lifetime of hard work, he's allowed a burrito nap. 275 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,607 You know what I remember from fishing with my uncle? 276 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:11,444 He said that when a shark stops moving, it dies. 277 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:14,447 These sharks, they're all dead. 278 00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:15,816 Oh, come on. 279 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,918 They're still vibrant, curious people with full lives. 280 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,786 Ha! 281 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,622 Oh. 282 00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:25,292 Oh, now you're too good to wave at Old Tom, eh? 283 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,927 Go to hell, Harriet! 284 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,263 Oh, Rancho Contento would've weeded that guy out. 285 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,932 [ Upbeat music plays ] 286 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:36,103 In New York City, a single guy only needs three things -- 287 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,504 a fabulous outfit, 288 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,840 a fabulous plan to get his ex back, 289 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,676 and the support of a fabulous crew. 290 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,277 * Yeah 291 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,279 Love the look, Eddie, but it's a little fancy 292 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,547 for "Dance Dance Revolution." 293 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:48,782 Yeah, maybe you should change. 294 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,818 About that -- before I drive us, 295 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,152 I need a teeny-tiny Tina favor. 296 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,187 After watching "Sex and the City," I realized -- 297 00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,655 duh -- what better way 298 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,190 to show Tina I'm broadening my horizons 299 00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:58,625 than by sweeping her off her feet 300 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,028 and taking her to the most romantic city in the world? 301 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,731 Ooh, Pensacola. Niiiiice. 302 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,198 New York City. 303 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,800 But since I obviously can't afford that, 304 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:07,968 I'm gonna create a brunch date 305 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,970 at a cool NYC restaurant right here -- 306 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,538 with your help, of course. 307 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,806 Sweet idea, Eddie. 308 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,307 You can explain what brunch is to us in the car. 309 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,009 Nah, this is way more important than the arcade. 310 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,544 I've been trying to get Tina back for weeks. 311 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,713 Okay, so, I'll be the cook. 312 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,848 Walter, you'll be the waiter. 313 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,349 And, Trent, you'll be the busker 314 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,884 who plays sax for us as we exit the restaurant. 315 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,919 I can't believe what I'm hearing. I know! 316 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,587 In what universe am I not the busker? 317 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,322 Look at this face -- total busker. 318 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,557 Trent: No, he means 319 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,192 Eddie promised to take us to the arcade, 320 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,526 and now he's trying to get us to do 321 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,428 some lame "get Tina back scheme" instead. 322 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,064 Hey, the scheme is not lame! 323 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,066 Or is it? I'm open to suggestions. 324 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,735 [ Sighs ] It's always about you, Eddie. Yeah. 325 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:44,204 All we talk about is you and ways for you to get Tina back. 326 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,405 Walter: You haven't even asked about Brian. 327 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,075 He's got mono, Eddie -- the kissing disease. 328 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,610 Well, I'm trying to get the kissing disease! 329 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,913 [ Door opens, closes ] You guys won't even help! 330 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,415 ** 331 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,051 [ Indistinct conversations ] 332 00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,352 Ugh. 333 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,354 All I taste is swamp. 334 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,957 You're supposed to say "notes of swamp." [ Chuckles ] 335 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,894 Anyway, the wine I make at Rancho Contento will be better. 336 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,128 Maybe. 337 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,130 Or maybe we'll be so dumb from being retired, 338 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,365 we won't even know what tastes good anymore. 339 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,767 [ Laughing ] 340 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,536 I didn't realize I was on stage at the Chuckle Factory. 341 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,771 Sorry. [ Chuckles ] 342 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:18,972 It's just, we used to think 343 00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,740 the same thing about retirement. 344 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:24,044 I was sure I would suddenly turn stupid. 345 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,880 I thought if I stopped moving, I would die. 346 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,215 [ Laughs ] You two are retired? 347 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,382 Mm-hmm. 348 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,418 But you seem so... 349 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,585 not dead. 350 00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,554 Active. She means active. 351 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,556 [ Both chuckle ] Oh, we are. 352 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,625 I'm building my own library at home. 353 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,893 Even got a microfiche. 354 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,129 And Kent here plans all our trips. 355 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,064 I was a financial advisor for 20 years, 356 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,765 and Linda was an attorney, 357 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,835 so we were always too busy to travel. 358 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,436 But now we get to make up 359 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,238 for all the together time we missed. 360 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,840 Yeah. [ Glasses clink ] 361 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,141 [ Chuckles ] 362 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,642 But now that you don't work, 363 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:56,743 do you ever get -- 364 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,845 Hopelessly bored? 365 00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,112 Honestly, no. 366 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,849 I had my name on a law firm for 10 years. 367 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,583 My legacy is set. 368 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:08,155 I feel like I earned this time to do whatever I want, you know? 369 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,590 That could be us, Jessica -- 370 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,026 the cool retired couple at the winery 371 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,127 who also make their own wines? 372 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,929 That sounds like a conflict of interest, 373 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,131 but... maybe you're right. 374 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,133 Kent: Uh, just a tip from someone who tried. 375 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,369 Make limoncello instead. 376 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,838 Homemade wine is fungus city. 377 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,373 And the bathtub -- 378 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,876 not a great fermenting vessel. 379 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,647 ** 380 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,316 Grandma: Check the pillow. 381 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,452 Don't tell Evan I was snooping. 382 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,055 I don't talk to that kid unless I have to. 383 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,790 [ Zipper opens ] 384 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,158 [ Exhales sharply ] 385 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,163 Evan: Monday -- dreamt Emery was eaten by a great white shark. 386 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,532 Tuesday -- dreamt Emery fell off a cliff. 387 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,901 Wednesday -- dreamt Emery 388 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,003 was attacked by a swarm of killer bees. 389 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,004 I woke up laughing. 390 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,671 I die in all these dreams? 391 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,373 Does Evan want to kill me? 392 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:01,909 [ Laughs ] 393 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,343 O-Oh -- Oh, sorry, 394 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,812 but it's funny when you picture it. 395 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,815 Beard of bees? Funny. 396 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,750 [ Laughs ] 397 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,086 [ Somber jazz music plays on TV ] 398 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,988 [ Laughs ] 399 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,157 I like the cut of Miranda's jib. 400 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,426 How 'bout you? Huh? Sorry. 401 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:20,827 I just can't believe my friends. 402 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,762 I had the perfect plan to get Tina back, 403 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,664 and they wouldn't help me. 404 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,433 My crew should support me 405 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,036 like Carrie's crew supports her. Yeah. 406 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,504 These gals would do anything for Carrie. Exactly! 407 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,606 Yeah. You think Miranda would leave Carrie in the lurch 408 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,508 to go to some dumb arcade? 409 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,577 Hell no! Miranda's ride-or-die. 410 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,446 Yeah. Heck, they all are, for each other. 411 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,914 Look, Eddie. 412 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:42,249 You know, the more I watch this show, 413 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:45,452 the more I see it's not about sex or brunch 414 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,187 or even New York City. 415 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,855 It's about these four friends. 416 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,358 I guess so. And Manolo, whoever that is. 417 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,193 Yeah. They're always gonna be there for each other. 418 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,362 Have you always been there for your boys? 419 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,297 That's what makes a crew a crew. 420 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,699 I mean, that and dressing up as a cow 421 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,302 to break out of a Thai prison. [ Chuckles ] 422 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,537 Eddie: I couldn't help but wonder -- 423 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,306 in trying to become a better man for Tina, 424 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,341 did I end up becoming a bad friend to my boys? 425 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,445 [ Door opens ] 426 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,281 Well, the Cattleman's suggestion box 427 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,449 was full of barbecue sauce again. 428 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,585 I miss being retired. 429 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,087 You know, I had fun being retired, too. 430 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,222 Especially meeting Kent and Linda. 431 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,290 They're doing it right. 432 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,758 I knew you'd come around on retirement! 433 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,594 Does this mean you're open to Rancho Contento? 434 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,762 I think someday, I might be. 435 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:30,930 Really? 436 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,465 You know, if we send in our deposits now, 437 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:33,933 we can still get that early-bird deal. 438 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:34,968 Shall I grab the checkbooks? 439 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,270 You can, but I already spent my retirement. 440 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,771 That money's gone. 441 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,773 Wh-- [ Gulps ] 442 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,776 You know, this swamp wine really grows on you. 443 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,450 What do you mean the money's gone? Where has it gone? 444 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,985 To Orlando State. 445 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,786 I used the savings from my retirement 446 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,188 to double my class load. 447 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,125 So now I will graduate in two years, not four. 448 00:15:58,158 --> 00:15:59,826 What? How could you do that? 449 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,129 If you're worried about the early withdrawal penalties 450 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:04,331 from the Roth IRA, don't be. 451 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,366 We're good. I called Kent. 452 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,467 Who?! 453 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,869 The cool retired guy from the winery. 454 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,839 I also got his recipe for limoncello. 455 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,274 Don't touch the jars in the pantry 456 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,875 for six to eight months. 457 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,145 I can't believe you'd rather spend money on school 458 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,146 than our retirement! 459 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,480 I mean, school sucks! 460 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,649 That's what the majority of graffiti is about! 461 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,653 [ Indistinct talking ] 462 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,188 'Sup, guys? 463 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,189 Look, this isn't easy 464 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,723 for me to say -- Young man: Hey! 465 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,125 No cutskis. 466 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,660 I'm not cutting, man. 467 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,028 I'm just trying to talk to my friends. 468 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,464 I've got my eyes on you. 469 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,467 As I was saying, I'm sorry if I've been a bad friend. 470 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,502 Especially when you guys have listened to me talk about Tina 471 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:43,870 basically nonstop. 472 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,406 You ha been kind of obsessed. 473 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,641 I know, and I appreciate you guys putting up with it. 474 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,877 Y'all are like my Miranda, my Samantha, my Charlotte, 475 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,579 and my Carrie. 476 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:53,980 And I'm lucky to be more like 477 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,983 a Stanford Blatch in the crew. Who? 478 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,751 Oh, he's this dope gay dude who should be more of a major character. 479 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,221 The point is, it can't just be me all the time. 480 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:06,259 ** 481 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,195 Now, let's "Dance Dance Revolution." 482 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,500 I bribed him with Cattleman's ribs to take you guys to the front. 483 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,169 [ Exhales sharply ] Thanks, Eddie. I can finally pee! 484 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,205 No, no, no, no, no. You cannot cutski. 485 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,606 No cutskis! 486 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,442 ** 487 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,045 And king me. Again. 488 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,383 Sorry, Grandma. 489 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,919 It's not you who I want to destroy. 490 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,287 I can't take this anymore! 491 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,388 Why do you want to kill me? 492 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,689 What makes you say that, dear brother? 493 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,891 Because I read your dream journal, okay? 494 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,360 I die in all of your dreams. 495 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,028 Aha! I knew it. 496 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,530 But there's one thing you didn't count on. 497 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,365 That journal was a fake. 498 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,899 I planted it to teach you a lesson. 499 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,536 Maybe now you'll respect my privacy. 500 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,238 So you didn't actually dream those horrible things? 501 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,906 You spent hours imagining them 502 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,242 and writing them in a fake journal? 503 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,243 That's worse. 504 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,877 I didn't write it. 505 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,646 Grandma did. What? 506 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,153 [ Sighs ] 507 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:10,490 ** 508 00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,125 Hm. 509 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,093 Your limoncello is terrible. 510 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,129 I told you it's not ready yet. 511 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,866 [ Sighs ] And neither am I. 512 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,971 [ Sighs ] Louis, I would love to retire with you one day. 513 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,141 I just don't feel like I've earned it yet. 514 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,976 What do you mean? 515 00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,444 Well, talking to Linda about her legacy 516 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,147 made me realize I haven't accomplished enough. 517 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,115 What? That's crazy! 518 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,518 You're a great parent, you're head of the PTA, 519 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,453 not to mention everything you've done for Cattleman's. 520 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,922 I know, but it's "Louis Huang's Cattleman's Ranch" 521 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,691 on the sign. 522 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,326 I want my name on something. 523 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,028 That's why I need to go back to school 524 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,597 and become the best principal 525 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,765 so I can cement my own legacy -- 526 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,702 get my name on a door, maybe a whole school. 527 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:58,004 Maybe even a college. 528 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,373 "The University of Phoenix and Jessica Huang." 529 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,842 Mnh, no. Not that, but something similar. 530 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:06,112 Then I can relax and fish 531 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,781 and get dumb with you at Rancho Contento 532 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,883 knowing that my name lives on. 533 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:13,953 I get it. You want to make an impact. 534 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,889 "College of William & Mary & Jessica Huang." 535 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:21,994 Or "Jessica Huang presents Harvard University." 536 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,464 Ah. 537 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,732 That's good. [ Chuckles ] 538 00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,467 [ School bell rings ] 539 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,203 [ Indistinct conversations ] 540 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,238 Hey, Eddie. 541 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,905 Trent told me how you VIP'ed 542 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,341 your friends at the arcade. 543 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,575 That was really cool of you. 544 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,909 What good is a greased rib 545 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,245 if you can't grease a palm or two? 546 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,646 [ Laughs ] 547 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,648 Um, Trent also said you've been watching 548 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:42,982 a lot of "Sex and the City." 549 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,984 And Manolo? That's a shoe. 550 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,754 Oh, God. That makes so much more sense. 551 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,491 Want to hang out tomorrow, talk "SATC"? 552 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,859 I'd love to, 553 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,895 but I got big brunch plans with my crew. 554 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:56,996 Rain check? 555 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,698 Definitely. 556 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,569 Journal is not gonna believe this. 557 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:08,441 ** 558 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:09,842 Surprise. 559 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,044 [ Sighs ] Louis, if you try to kidnap me again, 560 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,113 I will call campus security. 561 00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,383 They are guaranteed to respond within 9 to 13 minutes. 562 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,518 I just need five. I have a present for you. 563 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,186 I can't let you go back to school 564 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,088 without a real backpack. 565 00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:24,257 Now, this is just a start, but I know 566 00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:26,759 you'll have your name on a door or a building in no time. 567 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,861 Aww. That is very sweet. 568 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,062 Unsafe, 569 00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,031 because now potential muggers will know my name, 570 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,966 but it's very sweet. 571 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,835 That's not all. Look inside. 572 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,707 I cashed out my retirement account, too. 573 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,141 Now you can go full-time. 574 00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,110 Oh! 575 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:45,878 Louis, thank you! 576 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:49,882 Oh, now I can join the OrlanDo-Re-Mi's. 577 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,618 It's the a cappella group. 578 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,085 Once I get in, I'm changing the name 579 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,821 to "Jessica and the Do-Re-Mi's." 580 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,628 Mimosa? 581 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,563 Don't worry. It's just OJ and Sprite. 582 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,731 Well, hell, why not? 583 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,132 As Samantha would say, 584 00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:07,734 "I'll try anything once." 585 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,470 So, brunch is just breakfast at lunchtime. 586 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:14,140 [ "Careless Whisper" plays on saxophone ] 587 00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,777 [ Sour notes play ] 588 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:20,112 [ Silverware clinking ] 589 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:26,486 [ Glasses clink ]