1
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,077
That's a beautiful
Talavera Spanish
tile design, Mommy.

2
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:10,878
Oh, thank you, Evan.

3
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,913
And that
is a beautiful reproduction

4
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,816
of "A Sunday Afternoon on
the Island of La Grande Jatte."

5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,018
[ Sighs ] I wish people
still wore top hats.

6
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:21,155
Oh, me too, Evan.
Me too.

7
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,556
Hi.

8
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,558
So, the birthday party
you two were here for

9
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,227
started at noon.

10
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,995
It's 7:00 p.m.

11
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,364
We're closing.
You need to leave.

12
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:32,066
But we're not finished --
We're closed.

13
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,202
If you just --
My cat needs to eat.

14
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,070
[ Sighs ] Well,
I guess we'll come back

15
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:37,938
and finish these mugs later
at a time

16
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,640
that works best for you.

17
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:42,510
Forgive her.

18
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,445
She doesn't understand
that anything worth doing

19
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,347
is worth taking the time
to do right.

20
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:50,351
Yes, Evan. See, this is why
you are my star child.

21
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,753
You excel
at everything you do.

22
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,555
Most importantly,
at school.

23
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,890
What can I say?
School is my thing.

24
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:59,460
I ace everything
they throw at me.

25
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,761
[ School bell rings ]

26
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,896
[ Indistinct conversations ]

27
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,670
Evan: Uh...

28
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,974
...when is
this assignment due?

29
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,410
-- Captions by VITAC --

30
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:17,578
* Fresh off the boat

31
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,280
* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

32
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,582
* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

33
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:22,816
* Fresh off the boat

34
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,153
* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

35
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,587
* But I know where I'm goin'

36
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,423
* I'm fresh off the boat

37
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,295
Thank you again, so much,
for inviting me over.

38
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,297
It is so nice
to have some "me" time

39
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,299
while Marvin takes the baby
to his parents' house.

40
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,468
Parents?

41
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,469
How?

42
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,836
Actually, since I have

43
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,305
a few more free
"Honey days,"

44
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,307
does anyone want to go
see a movie tomorrow?

45
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,641
Sorry.
I can't.

46
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,477
I only see one movie
a year,

47
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,779
and I save it
for Denzel or Christmas.

48
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,781
'92 was tough.

49
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:57,151
"Malcolm X" and "Home Alone 2:
Lost in New York" came out.

50
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:58,186
I went with "Malcolm X"

51
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:01,355
because I have been lost
in New York,

52
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,823
and it was horrifying.

53
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,627
I wish I could, but we're
short-staffed at the restaurant.

54
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,961
Hector has shingles again,

55
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,630
so I'm stuck working
the grill all week.

56
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,865
Well, I'm free
for a movie, Honey.

57
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,000
Me, too.

58
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,635
As long as I don't have to
sit next to Evan.

59
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:15,769
He's always pointing out

60
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:18,206
when female extras
are not carrying purses.

61
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,940
I can't go anyway.

62
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,310
I have...homework.

63
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,877
You're acting weird.

64
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,646
Why? Because he cares
about his schoolwork?

65
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:26,680
Leave him alone.

66
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,849
I'm taking an interest
in the boy!

67
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:33,421
[ Sighs ]

68
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,590
[ Sighs ]

69
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,694
Come on, Evan.
Just answer the question.

70
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,630
Sicily isn't gonna
wait around forever.

71
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,132
Women have biological clocks
to think of.

72
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,534
How's that "homework"
going?

73
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,702
What?!
Nothing!

74
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,070
How long have you
been standing there?

75
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,072
Long enough to see what
you've got there, young lover.

76
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,642
Why don't you,
as Grandma says,

77
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:55,976
"tend to your own
knitting"?

78
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,511
Okay.

79
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,746
But whatever you do,

80
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,314
don't tell Dad
about that note.

81
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,715
He loves love
so much,

82
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,984
he'll try too hard to help
and ruin everything.

83
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,655
Believe me. I don't plan on
telling Dad or Mom about this.

84
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,056
I'm a very private person.

85
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,759
I know. I haven't
seen your chest in years.

86
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,527
So, do you like her?

87
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:16,063
I don't know.
What does that even mean?

88
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,565
Do I think about her
constantly?

89
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:18,399
Yes.

90
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,401
Have I named our kids?
Yes.

91
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:21,569
Does she smell like
a rainstorm?

92
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,770
Of course.

93
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,438
But do I like her?

94
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,639
I don't know.

95
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,642
[ Sighs ]

96
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,212
Don't be upset
you got outvoted, Eddie.

97
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,414
You might like
"You've Got Mail."

98
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,616
Come on. Who doesn't
want to see "The Waterboy"?

99
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:38,286
[ As Bobby Boucher ] Now, that's
what I call high-quality H2O.

100
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,787
Mwah.

101
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,889
So, you know

102
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,691
who would love
this movie?

103
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,592
Your dad.

104
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:47,227
[ Normal voice ]
Yeah. He's...

105
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,229
the biggest rom-com fan
in town.

106
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,364
Totally.

107
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,266
It's too bad
he couldn't come with us.

108
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,768
Mm.

109
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:56,437
Is it?

110
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,771
Oh, thank you.

111
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,239
I didn't know
if you guys knew.

112
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,108
Dad is the worst
with rom-coms.

113
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,276
Every time he sees one,

114
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:04,312
he quotes it to death
until we all hate it.

115
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,814
Remember what happened
when we saw "Jerry Maguire"?

116
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,115
Show me the Honey!

117
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,783
Show me the Honey!

118
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,118
Show me the Honey!

119
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,621
I'm right here! I don't know
what you want me to do!

120
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,889
Ugh. I'm just glad
we all agree.

121
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,626
Your dad would've totally ruined
"You've Got Mail" for us.

122
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,793
Hey, guys.

123
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,795
Dad? I thought
you had to work.

124
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:24,097
Oh, a bunch of ladies
escaped the women's prison,

125
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,767
so the whole area's
shut down for the night.

126
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,902
[ Gasps ] Are we seeing
"You've Got Mail"?

127
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,471
Yes!
I'll go get my ticket.

128
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,306
You've got mail.
You've got mail.

129
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,308
You've got mail.
You've got mail.

130
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,443
It's ruined.

131
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,977
Yeah.
It's ruined.

132
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:42,483
Here are my graded tests
for you to sign, Mommy.

133
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,651
Though you and I
both know

134
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,018
this is merely
a formality.

135
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:46,820
Ah, yes.

136
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,456
My straight-"A" student.

137
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,491
Tell me --
are the other students jealous?

138
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,560
What do they say?
What do their faces say?

139
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,629
Mm, yes.

140
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,030
That's the same
jealous face I get

141
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,432
when I tell people
my age.

142
00:04:58,466 --> 00:04:59,367
Okay.

143
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,469
"A."

144
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,004
Another "A."

145
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,238
Another "A."

146
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,276
Well, you failed
this one.

147
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,478
What?!

148
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,615
How'd that
get in there?

149
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,217
The correct answer
is "no."

150
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,354
Even "A" students make mistakes
every now and then.

151
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,255
Good thing
I caught this one.

152
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,463
I heard Meg Ryan
didn't own a computer

153
00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:30,964
when she
booked this role.

154
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,966
I got to say,
it showed.

155
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,234
Uh-oh.

156
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,302
Dad stayed
through the credits

157
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,537
to honor the hard work
of the crew

158
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,906
and see if there are
bloopers at the end.

159
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:39,807
He must have loved it.

160
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,174
Well,
how could he not?

161
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,644
Joe Fox
and his corporate Fox Books

162
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,046
put local shop owner
Kathleen Kelly out of business,

163
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,481
and then
they fall in love

164
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,182
under cloak
of the World Wide Web.

165
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,819
Mistaken identities,
a golden retriever,

166
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:52,986
New York in autumn --

167
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,523
it's everything he loves
in a rom-com.

168
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,525
He's gonna quote this
till I hate Tom Hanks.

169
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,161
Hey, there he is.

170
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,096
So, what did you think
of the movie?

171
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:05,966
I hated it.

172
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,270
I see you, Dad.

173
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,445
So, what do you think
is the strongest symbolism

174
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,680
Harper Lee used
in "To Kill a Mockingbird"?

175
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,182
Wow.
There's so much.

176
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,917
But probably
the Gothic details

177
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,953
that contrast with
the small town of Maycomb

178
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,456
to foreshadow the presence
of good and evil.

179
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,458
I hope there's more
where that came from

180
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,493
because
I am listening.

181
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,931
In my own kitchen?

182
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:38,966
Sicily, is it?

183
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,233
Yes, it's nice to --

184
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,635
Go wait outside.
I'll call you a cab.

185
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,304
I need to speak
with my son.

186
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,443
I told you
you weren't allowed to date.

187
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,944
No, you didn't.

188
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,480
Well, then,
I'm telling you now.

189
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:53,747
You're not allowed
to date.

190
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:54,982
But you don't
even know Sicily.

191
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,917
I don't need to.

192
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,119
You are not ready
to date anyone.

193
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,121
You need to focus
on your education.

194
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,823
Girls will only
distract from that,

195
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,825
and then you can
kiss those A's goodbye.

196
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,326
But that's not fair.

197
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,662
Eddie and Emery were allowed to
date when they were my age.

198
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:09,730
Oh, I'm sorry.

199
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,131
I didn't realize
you wanted to be

200
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,100
a rapper-tennis-player-
flight-attendant.

201
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,836
And where are those girls now?
Riddle me that.

202
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,805
Well, I don't care
what you say.

203
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,172
I'm gonna
keep seeing her.

204
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,741
Then you leave me
no choice.

205
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,809
You're grounded.

206
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,445
Sicily and I
are in the same class...

207
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,347
and you can't ground me
from school.

208
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,853
Can I just use your phone
to call my dad?

209
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,325
[ School bell rings ]

210
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,964
Evan openly defied me,
Corporal Bryson.

211
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,332
He's never
done that before.

212
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,100
Clearly,
he doesn't understand

213
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,702
that dating
is bad for him.

214
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,638
I get it. I used to
work the drug beat,

215
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,939
and if there's one thing
I've learned,

216
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,174
it's that an addict won't quit
his destructive behavior

217
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,610
until he's hit
rock bottom.

218
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:59,179
That, and no one with a couch
on their front lawn is innocent.

219
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,852
PDA!

220
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,554
That's against
school rules.

221
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:07,888
You have to do something
about this.

222
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:08,956
Isn't that
why you're here?

223
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,457
Actually,
I'm here to investigate

224
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,660
a peeping tom
spying on the children.

225
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,663
From outside
the middle school.

226
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,931
A woman.

227
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,901
Wearing culottes.

228
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,803
Fine.
I'll just do it myself.

229
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,371
Good luck
finding your pervert.

230
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,475
Left. Left.

231
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,343
Left. Right.

232
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,713
Left. Right. Right.

233
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,215
Just throw it away.
I hate it.

234
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,250
Hey, Dad. We're gonna
see another movie

235
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,886
while Honey still has
some baby-free days.

236
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,854
Yeah.
That baby sucks.

237
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,389
[ Laughs ]
I'm just kidding.

238
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:45,325
Oh, my God. I feel terrible
that I just said that.

239
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,194
I love Maria so much.

240
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,396
You want to
come with us, Pops?

241
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,864
We have to hit
all the movies we can

242
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,901
before Y2K shuts us down and
sends us back to the Dark Ages.

243
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,035
No thanks.

244
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,570
The smell of popcorn
will only remind me

245
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,205
how much I hated
"You've Got Mail."

246
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,940
What is it with you
and that movie?

247
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,108
I don't want to talk
about it.

248
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,275
Come on, Dad.

249
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,444
-Okay, fine.
-Wow, that was super easy.

250
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:06,714
I hated "You've Got Mail"
because...

251
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,317
...because I'm Fox Books.

252
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,455
A few months after
I opened Cattleman's,

253
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,124
I found out that
I'd inadvertently

254
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,627
put a local mom-and-pop rib shop
out of business.

255
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,461
So, how'd you folks enjoy

256
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,797
your first root'n toot'n meal
at Cattleman's Ranch?

257
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,132
Oh, the best
ribs I've had

258
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,200
since my grandmother's wake
in Dallas.

259
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,536
Plus, your prices are way better
than Mom and Pop's.

260
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,304
Ooh.
What's Mom and Pop's?

261
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:34,808
**

262
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,212
[ Sobbing ]

263
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,882
Noooooo!

264
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,416
"You've Got Mail" brought

265
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,986
all those memories
flooding back to me.

266
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,288
I'm just like
corporate monster Joe Fox,

267
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:51,458
driving the beloved neighborhood
proprietor out of business

268
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,793
with my capitalist ways.

269
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,094
Mom and Pop were gone

270
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,096
before I even had a chance
to apologize.

271
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,134
Look what you two did
with your stupid movie.

272
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,503
Mopey Dad is way worse
than Rom-com Dad.

273
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,338
Arthouse Dad is the best

274
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,340
because he laughs
at all the serious parts.

275
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,111
[ School bell rings ]

276
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,179
Hey.

277
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,446
There's
inappropriate touching

278
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,347
happening on
school grounds,

279
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,448
and you need to
stop it.

280
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,084
Oh, God. Okay.
Did you see her face?

281
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,318
Could you describe it
to a sketch artist?

282
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,954
I'm referring to
my son Evan.

283
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,355
I saw him holding hands

284
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,124
with a girl student
on the playground.

285
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,861
I see. Ms. Huang --

286
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:30,197
Mrs.
I'm married.

287
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,701
Mrs. Huang, the children
are allowed to hold hands.

288
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,002
They're middle schoolers.

289
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,303
It's perfectly innocent.

290
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,271
Oh, they're too young
for that.

291
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,007
They need to be focused
on their education.

292
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,809
I wouldn't worry about that
if I were you.

293
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,177
Evan's grades certainly
aren't suffering because of it.

294
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,147
Now,
if you'll excuse me,

295
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,283
I witnessed a brutal fight
in the cafeteria today,

296
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,152
and I have to go
give a statement.

297
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,865
Louis: She'd recently lost
her mother, Joe.

298
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,000
Why couldn't you just
let her sell her books?

299
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,235
Hey, Dad.

300
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,003
Eddie.
What are you doing here?

301
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,571
The restroom's
only for customers.

302
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,841
That's not fair.

303
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,843
We have a surprise for you.
Come on.

304
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:21,414
**

305
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,055
Mom? Pop?

306
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,389
You're still alive?

307
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,025
We're in
our early 70s.

308
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,161
I know you're upset
you never got to apologize,

309
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,562
so we tracked them down
for you.

310
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,097
We hope
you're okay with it.

311
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,866
Okay with it?

312
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,500
[ Breathing heavily ]

313
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,202
[ Laughter ]

314
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,738
We've lost so much time.

315
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:47,074
Okay. What have you been up to
the past five years?

316
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:50,077
Uh, traveling, volunteering,
learning Español?

317
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,780
We've been living with
our daughter in Winter Park.

318
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,381
After we lost
the rib shack,

319
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,683
we moved into her basement
to save money.
Yeah.

320
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,385
There's a cumbersome
pool table

321
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,087
and the bathroom
is two flights up,

322
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,388
but we make it work.

323
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,925
The real problem is
that husband of hers -- Rick.

324
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,460
He doesn't want us there,
and he makes it known.

325
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,963
I don't like the way
he speaks to Kimberly.

326
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:12,399
Well, you try talking to her
about it, then.

327
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,102
[ Whispering ] Uh-oh.
Dad's about to make

328
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,569
a poor decision
based on his emotions.

329
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,772
Why don't you work here?

330
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,275
Really?
Yeah, why not?

331
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,644
I needed to hire a couple
of part-time cooks anyway,

332
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:27,147
and I'd love to have
two Orlando restaurant legends

333
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,215
working at Cattleman's.

334
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,917
[ Chuckles ]

335
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,151
That sounds fun.

336
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,286
[ Laughs ]
All right!

337
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,822
I can't wait
to get Mom and Pop

338
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,323
back in
the rib-cooking business.

339
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,590
My mouth is watering
already.

340
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:38,992
[ Laughs ]

341
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,164
My God,
these are terrible.

342
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:46,800
Are they burnt or raw?

343
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:49,269
I'm trying to figure out
what animal this is.

344
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,503
I like 'em.

345
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,578
I'm so glad you and me
are in the same class

346
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,281
so we can spend as much time
together as possible.

347
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,516
Me too.
Except it's "you and I."

348
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,253
Whoa. I don't know
what came over me.

349
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,088
It's okay.
You didn't mean to.

350
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,990
Ending a sentence
in a preposition.

351
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,224
[ Gasps ]

352
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:13,793
I love you.

353
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:14,794
[ Backpack thuds ]

354
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:17,030
Okay, students.

355
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:19,632
Great job on your
"To Kill a Mockingbird" essays.

356
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:22,035
Another stellar essay, Evan.

357
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,471
The way you contrasted
the snowman Jem built

358
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,973
with the fire
at Miss Maudie's house

359
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,307
was so thought-provoking.

360
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,541
Excellent.

361
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,811
[ Gasps ]

362
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,380
A-minus?!

363
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,384
Hi, Evan.

364
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,385
You were right.

365
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,953
Sicily distracted me.
I dumped her.

366
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,354
If you need me,
I'll be studying.

367
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,024
Ciao, Sicily.

368
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:52,032
This.
This is what I like to see.

369
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,566
What are you studying,
Evan?

370
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,568
Pre-algebra.
I have a quiz on Friday,

371
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:56,836
and I've already lost...

372
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,707
...78 minutes of study time
to Sicily.

373
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,877
Oh, shh, shh, shh.
She's gone now.

374
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:06,313
Let's not even say
her name.

375
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,482
I'm so pleased you've come to
your senses about dating, Evan.

376
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:13,320
In fact, I've decided to
reward you by un-grounding you.

377
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,554
No, thank you.

378
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,323
I'd like to serve out
the remainder of my sentence

379
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,358
to minimize distractions
from my education.

380
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,094
A self-grounding.

381
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,563
He's come back
even stronger than before.

382
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,734
What am I gonna do?

383
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,336
Like -- Like
when you grow up?

384
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,770
Be a restaurant owner.

385
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:31,871
I'm confused.

386
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,573
No, Mom and Pop
are terrible cooks.

387
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,942
I have to fire them,
but I'd be putting them

388
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,277
out of business
all over again.

389
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,546
I'd be an even worse Joe Fox
than Joe Fox.

390
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:40,747
Do you hear yourself?

391
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,415
Honey: Yeah, he's right.
Don't panic.

392
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,184
Everything worked out
for Joe and Kathleen

393
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,685
at the end
of "You've Got Mail."

394
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,955
We just have to do
whatever Joe did to fix it.

395
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,622
Maybe you could offer them
a contract

396
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:50,757
writing children's books

397
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,092
for your ex-girlfriend's
publishing house.

398
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,560
What is happening?

399
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,462
You people
and this movie.

400
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,564
Dad,
you are not Joe Fox.

401
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,432
I'm not?
No.

402
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,134
Because Mom and Pop
aren't Kathleen Kelly.

403
00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:03,971
Okay.
What do you remember

404
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,638
about the book store
in "You've Got Mail"?

405
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,075
Um, it was warm,
a lot of wood,

406
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,376
Steve Zahn was there.

407
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,910
Kathleen Kelly's store
was awesome,

408
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,779
and Mom and Pop's ribs
suck.

409
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,115
You said you liked them.
They were staring
right at me.

410
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,383
Anyways,

411
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,218
it was only a matter of time
before they went under,

412
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,819
whether you opened
Cattleman's or not.

413
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,121
You didn't
put them out of business.

414
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,355
You put them
out of their misery.

415
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,125
You're right, Eddie.

416
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,461
I spent the past five years
beating myself up for nothing.

417
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,730
It's not my fault Mom and Pop's
rib shack went under.

418
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,165
If anything,
I was doing them a favor.

419
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,967
Life isn't
a rom-com, Dad.

420
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:37,170
Sometimes, old people
just can't cook.

421
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,007
Wow.
Thank you, guys.

422
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,274
I feel so much better.

423
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:44,177
I'm gonna go tell Mom and Pop
they're fired.

424
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:50,283
So, good news, bad news.

425
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,352
Good news --
Mom and Pop are gone.

426
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,154
Bad news -- they threatened
to sue me for ageism

427
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,355
unless I kept them
on the payroll

428
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,456
for another six months.

429
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,658
Are you serious?
Extremely.

430
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,860
So, if anyone needs
any non-cooking-related errands

431
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,629
run by two elders,
let me know.

432
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:03,696
Do you think
they could take me

433
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,298
to Caleb's birthday party
on Saturday?

434
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,966
I can ask.

435
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,601
You know, this was
a nice reminder

436
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,038
that I can't be responsible
for everybody's lives.

437
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,805
I can't save every old couple

438
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,307
living in
their daughter's basement.

439
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,976
And, hey, since this isn't
"You've Got Mail,"

440
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,778
I'm free to love that movie.

441
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,912
I love that movie.

442
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,382
Yay.

443
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,451
Whatever.
That movie was dumb.

444
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,020
Who says what they're typing
out loud?

445
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,623
I got to tell you, Evan,
I am so happy

446
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,160
to have my star child
back at fighting weight.

447
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,727
So, how's pre-algebra?

448
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:37,064
When you get to the
"two trains leave a destination

449
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,198
at the same time"
question,

450
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,466
it's a trick.

451
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,000
Nobody rides trains.

452
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,569
Can you pass
the blue paint?

453
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,572
Evan.

454
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,407
Evan?

455
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,642
Sicily loved
the color blue.

456
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,710
She said
it reminded her

457
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,246
of her grandparents'
lake house in July.

458
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,916
The sky lit up with fireworks.
George Strait on the radio.

459
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:01,154
O...kay.

460
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,290
Are you going to finish
your mug there?

461
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,627
I'm done.

462
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,770
Louis. I have to tell
you something.

463
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,073
Evan had
his first girlfriend.

464
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,741
[ Gasps ] Evan had
his first girlfriend?

465
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,510
No, don't be happy
about that.

466
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,078
Evan's too young to date.

467
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,579
I don't know.
Is he?

468
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:29,048
He's not mature enough
to handle the emotions

469
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,118
that come from
being in a relationship.

470
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,519
Evan's pretty mature.

471
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,954
Last week, he told me I was only
making him eat vegetables

472
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,056
because my father
didn't hug me enough.

473
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,591
And you know what?
I think he was right.

474
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:42,762
Trust me. You weren't there
to see how heartbroken he was.

475
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,464
He was just staring
at the wall.

476
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,766
And then he dipped his mug
in black paint.

477
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,735
And he had spent
so much time

478
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:51,471
making sure that
the parasols were to scale.

479
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,539
And, damn it,
they were,

480
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,441
and he was just so sad,

481
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,276
and I just hated
seeing him like that.

482
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,345
And Evan's just not ready
to date!

483
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:03,550
It, um, kind of
seems like maybe

484
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,618
you're not ready
for Evan to date.

485
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:11,424
Jessica, this week, I met
a couple named Mom and Pop.

486
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,926
Those old people you drove out
of town with your restaurant?

487
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,128
Yes and no.

488
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,164
Anyway, before
they threatened to sue me...

489
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,631
What?
It's all taken care of.

490
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:19,999
The point is,
it's no one's fault,

491
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,101
but Mom and Pop's life
has been a living hell,

492
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,404
and they stayed together
through it all.

493
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,938
Life's a lot easier
to handle

494
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,807
with a partner you love
by your side.

495
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,277
I never would have
gotten through

496
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,578
moving to Orlando
without you.

497
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,979
And I never would have
gotten through

498
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,382
that week Hector
gave me shingles without you.

499
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,186
If you want Evan to be
as good at relationships

500
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,620
as he is
at everything else,

501
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,189
you need to
let him practice.

502
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,291
[ Sighs ]

503
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,660
I have to make this right.

504
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:51,164
If I have ice cream,
do you think

505
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:53,065
I have to brush
my teeth again?

506
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,804
I'm excited to pick up our mugs
from the kiln.

507
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,808
Yours should be...

508
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:02,809
moody.

509
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,010
Mm-hmm.

510
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,379
[ Sighs ]

511
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,681
Evan, I want to
apologize to you

512
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,350
for being so strict
about dating.

513
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,552
You have nothing
to apologize for, Mommy.

514
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,721
You tried to warn me that
dating would affect my grades,

515
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:15,855
and you were right.

516
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:19,792
Well,
that's the thing.

517
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,828
You didn't actually
get an A-minus

518
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,296
on your English essay.

519
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,564
You got an "A."

520
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,400
I went into the school,
and I changed the grade

521
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,135
so you would think
Sicily distracted you

522
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,203
and break up with her.

523
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,971
[ Sighs ]

524
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,240
Say that again now?

525
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,374
I went into your school
and --

526
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,543
I heard you
the first time!

527
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,411
How could you
do that to me?

528
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,412
I loved her.

529
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,314
Oh, Evan,
I'm so sorry.

530
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,983
I had no idea
you would be so upset.

531
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,085
I think it's hard for me
to accept

532
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:47,687
that you're growing up.

533
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,590
You're my youngest,

534
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,425
and I want to shield you
from all the pain

535
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:53,860
that comes
from being an adult.

536
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,598
But there's a lot of joy
that comes with it, too,

537
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,767
and I never want to
shield you from that.

538
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,035
It kind of
seems like maybe

539
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,037
you weren't ready
for me to date.

540
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:06,806
You're so mature.

541
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,581
Aren't you coming?
No, I'm not.

542
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,749
I'll come get you
in a couple hours.

543
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,718
Sicily
is waiting for you.

544
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,123
Thank you, Mommy.

545
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,393
And...I forgive you.

546
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:29,529
You do?
You're my mom,
and you should know

547
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,364
that no matter
how old I get,

548
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,165
I'll always
be your little boy.

549
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,105
[ Car door closes ]

550
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,173
I'm watching you.

551
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,617
[ Whale cries ]

552
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,352
You've got whale.

553
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:56,956
Woman on TV:
Before steaming or sautéing,
simply oil up your fingers...

554
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,458
You've got kale.

555
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,760
...olive oil, and massage away.

556
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,795
[ Announcer speaking
indistinctly ]
[ Car engines revving ]

557
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,631
You've got Dale.

558
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,566
[ Sighs ]

559
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,602
Help! I've fallen,
and I can't get up!

560
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:10,603
Oh.

561
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:11,804
You've got frail.

562
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,873
[ Scoffs ]

563
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,612
Mail's here.

564
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:22,682
Are you kidding me?

565
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:24,817
No.
Evan has it.

566
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:26,353
[ Sighs ]