1
00:00:01,131 --> 00:00:03,699
Hey, doggie!

2
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,875
♪♪

3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,529
Beautiful garden.

4
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:08,573
Hmm.

5
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:09,922
♪♪

6
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,054
[doorbell rings]

7
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,708
Greetings.
My name is Evan Huang,

8
00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:15,450
and I'm a volunteer
for the United States Census.

9
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,800
Do you have a moment
to answer a few questions?

10
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:20,020
[gasps]

11
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:22,370
[suspenseful music plays]

12
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:27,331
♪♪

13
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,205
-A bowl of chili...
-[chuckles]

14
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,120
...an Ernest Goes To...
movie on the TV...

15
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,599
Ow!

16
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,166
...doesn't get
much better than this.

17
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:38,125
[door opens][both laugh]

18
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,126
Dad, Dad!

19
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,388
Evan, are you okay?

20
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,346
I don't know.
I saw something.

21
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,131
What happened?
What'd you see?

22
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:45,393
I saw...

23
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,134
[softly]
other Chinese people.

24
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,352
[gasps]

25
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,615
♪♪

26
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:51,790
♪ Fresh off the boat♪

27
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,531
♪ I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go♪

28
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,533
♪ If you don't know, homey,
now you know♪

29
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,579
♪ Fresh off the boat♪

30
00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:59,581
♪ Homey, you don't know
where I come from♪

31
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:00,799
♪ But I know where I'm goin'♪

32
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:03,846
♪ I'm fresh off the boat♪

33
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,848
So you saw
a Chinese couple?

34
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:08,198
Yep. They must've just moved
to the neighborhood.

35
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:09,591
[laughs]
I dreamed this day would come.

36
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:10,635
I have to tell your mother.

37
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:11,723
Uh, sorry, pal,

38
00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,160
but we're gonna have to
put a pin in our plans.

39
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,204
Oh, just a reminder now.

40
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:16,076
Honey and I
only have small windows

41
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,642
between baby naps
to have fun.

42
00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:19,209
I taped
the last season of ER,

43
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,299
and I am going to devour it
one nap at a time.

44
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:23,996
Uh-huh.
You know,
for a while there,

45
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:25,998
I thought the show
was called Er.

46
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,827
I keep begging her,
give Chicago Hopea shot,

47
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,090
but she won't have it.

48
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:32,788
He's long gone.

49
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:33,876
♪♪

50
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,008
DEIDRE: Okay, ladies.

51
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,227
First point of business

52
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,620
is the annual fundraiser.

53
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:39,664
This year, we're gonna be

54
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,275
taking donations to refurbish

55
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:42,450
the "We Are The World" mural

56
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:43,668
at the Community Center.

57
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,584
♪♪

58
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,369
Why are all the kids
white?

59
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,240
I've got a better idea.

60
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:52,286
Tear down this racist mural

61
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,418
so we can move on
to addressing the epidemic

62
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,594
that is destroying
our neighborhood.

63
00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,379
And what, pray tell,
might that be?

64
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,120
Three words.

65
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,556
Low rise jeans.

66
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,471
-Oh, come on!
-They're very flattering.

67
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,560
This trendy jean
is a menace.

68
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:09,085
Every time I step outside,
all I see are Whale Tails.

69
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,130
Whale Tails?

70
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,131
T-shaped underwear

71
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:13,220
sticking out
the top of jeans.

72
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,482
It's disgusting.

73
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:15,570
Jessica, the HOA

74
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,224
cannot enforce a dress code.

75
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,095
And frankly,

76
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,141
if beautiful celebrities
like Rene Russo can wear them,

77
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,926
then so can the beautiful mamas
in this subdivision.

78
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,232
Am I right?

79
00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,842
[laughter]

80
00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:28,887
I'm surrounded
by tramps.

81
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:32,195
[indistinct conversations]

82
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,284
What is it, Louis?
I'm extremely angry,

83
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:35,720
so whatever it is
you have to say,

84
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,331
I will likely respond
poorly to.

85
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,507
There's another Chinese family
in the neighborhood!

86
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,856
[gasps]

87
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,381
I cannot go
to that community pool again.

88
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,643
The water is filthy.

89
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,515
EVAN: [scoffs]

90
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:50,257
Whoa, buddy,
it's okay.

91
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,258
We all reach a point in our

92
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,737
lives when our interest in girls

93
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,086
reaches a whole new level.

94
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,611
Gross. No.

95
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,222
I'm hiding the private data
I've gathered for the Census.

96
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,441
You always find

97
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:02,138
fresh ways to be boring.

98
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,227
Um, why is there
a photo of a classy woman

99
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:05,272
above your desk?

100
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,187
That's
Martha Farnsworth Riche.

101
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:08,536
The Director of the Census,

102
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,146
a.k.a. my boss, a.k.a.

103
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,452
what gets me up in the morning.

104
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,628
So boring,
it's amazing.

105
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,369
I'm entrusted to ask citizens

106
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,153
questions about their household,

107
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,676
and they trust me
as a Census-taker

108
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,678
to answer those questions
honestly.

109
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,289
Nothing boring
about that.

110
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,552
♪♪

111
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,380
If we worked
for the Census,

112
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:27,642
we could ask people
whatever we wanted,

113
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,296
and they would
haveto answer.

114
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,993
But we don't work
for the Census.

115
00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:32,690
Or do we?

116
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,170
♪♪

117
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,520
So this is the house
where Evan saw them?

118
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,261
Split-level, not bad.

119
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,959
Come on, let's go
knock on the door and
introduce ourselves.

120
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,178
Oh, wait.

121
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:44,572
Is it too much?

122
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,356
That tree is beautiful.

123
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,315
I just don't want
our first impression

124
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,099
to be trespassing
on their property

125
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,101
while holding
a really specific present.

126
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,364
You're right. What we need is
an idyllic meet-cute moment,

127
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,323
like in the best
romantic comedies.
Mm-hmm.

128
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,803
We each drop an orange
at the grocery store.

129
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,545
We bend down to pick it up,
and then we all lock eyes.

130
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,374
Some song from The Cure plays,
and we're off to the races.

131
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:05,332
That's good.

132
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,464
Or we follow them
when they leave the house

133
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:08,378
and bump into them
in public.

134
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,466
Oh, I love it.

135
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:14,254
They're really taking their time
at this all-you-can-eat buffet.

136
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,342
Well,
it's a great sign.

137
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,344
Our mutual love of
quantity-over-quality food

138
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,041
will be the bedrock
of our friendship.

139
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,260
[door opens]

140
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,479
There they are.

141
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,351
They're beautiful.

142
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,004
But where are
their to-go boxes?

143
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,616
Would we ever leave
an all-you-can-eat restaurant

144
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,095
without ribs
for the road?

145
00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:31,488
[car door opens]They're at their car.
It's time.

146
00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:33,185
Okay. Remember.

147
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:34,274
When we meet them,

148
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,319
let's just play it cool
and see how it goes.

149
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,320
No promises.

150
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:39,714
Let me just get our prop,
and we'll head over.

151
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:42,238
We'll stroll by, pretending
to read this newspaper,

152
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,457
and look surprised
to see them.

153
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,284
Sound good?

154
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,198
Oh -- Jessica?

155
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,765
[squeals]

156
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:51,813
We're so happy
you're here.

157
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,858
[laughs]

158
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,599
We've dreamed
of this day.

159
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:58,298
♪♪

160
00:04:58,428 --> 00:04:59,864
Us, too.

161
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:01,431
Us, too.

162
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:03,607
[gasps]

163
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:06,393
Is that a take-out box
in your purse?

164
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:07,611
ELAINE: It is.

165
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,613
[laughter]

166
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,267
[voice breaking]
We're so happy you're here.

167
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,272
Taiwan, two years ago.

168
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,056
That's the last time
we saw Chinese people

169
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,188
that weren't family.

170
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,451
Mm.
Three years ago for us.

171
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,366
Back where we lived
in Georgia,

172
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,412
we once saw
a Chinese face

173
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,327
in the window
of a passing bus.

174
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:28,545
Wow, near miss.

175
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,068
No, no,
we chased after the bus.

176
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,288
Ran six blocks,
full speed.

177
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,072
Caught up to the bus
at the next stop,

178
00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:36,336
but I didn't have any change
to get on board.

179
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,468
So I yelled, "Chinese face.
I've been looking for you.

180
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:40,383
Get off the bus."
[sighs]

181
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,690
He thought about it
and said no.

182
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,300
He'd already paid
for the fare.

183
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,606
Ohh, so Chinese.

184
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,217
Disappointing, but I get
where he's coming from.

185
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,045
Mm-hmm.Long story short,

186
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,481
we're very happy
to have met you.

187
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,439
[laughter]

188
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,658
So, how are you
liking Orlando?

189
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:55,790
Oh, I love it,

190
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,445
but the humidity
is killing my hair.

191
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,621
I'm usually four times
more beautiful than this.

192
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:01,578
Me, too.

193
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,014
But the reduction
in beauty

194
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,234
means less Jewish guys
hit on me at the gas pump.

195
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,278
Oh.

196
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,063
Okay, serious question.

197
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,588
Are there any grocers here
that sell tofu?

198
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,590
There were none
in Georgia.

199
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:14,635
I miss tofu so much.

200
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:16,506
Took months to find.

201
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,116
Greeno's in Rose Isle.

202
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,292
The hippie owner Pam
wears a bandana on her head.

203
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,729
Oh, you're a lifesaver.

204
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,861
I'll have my son, Horace,
pick some up for me.

205
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,385
Oh, you have a son, too!

206
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,604
I have three --
Eddie, Emery, and Evan.

207
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,563
Three sons?

208
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,260
Oh, you must be so proud.

209
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,741
Well, the first two are...

210
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:34,959
solid.

211
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,397
But my youngest, Evan,
he's a real genius.

212
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:38,441
He recently
skipped a grade.

213
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,487
Sounds just like
my Horace.

214
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:43,533
He skipped 2 grades,
went to Harvard at 16,

215
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,100
and now runs
his own small business.

216
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,841
You're living the dream.

217
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,103
Mm.

218
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:51,280
I love that you opened
an American steakhouse.

219
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,151
Well, you know,
I'm Chinese through and through,

220
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,718
but I'm 100% American.

221
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:55,676
Oh, me, too.

222
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,112
I mean,
if I had a choice,

223
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,548
I'd eat apple pie
for breakfast.

224
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,376
My favorite cut of steak
is "any."

225
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:01,595
When asked
if I'm religious,

226
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,118
I say I believe
in the Dallas Cowboys.

227
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,425
My firstborn's middle name
is "Elvis."

228
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:06,730
When I'm on hold
on the phone,

229
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,558
I doodle bald eagles
on a notepad.

230
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:09,690
When the wife and kids
are out of town,

231
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,169
I roll my own cigarettes,

232
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,433
and I light them with a match
I strike off my boot.

233
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:14,999
[laughs]

234
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,436
[laughs]

235
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:19,177
[sighs] So, at
the grocery store last week,

236
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,353
a stranger came up to me
and asked

237
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,399
which aisle
the soy sauce was in.

238
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,184
Did you tell him
it was in "Aisle Slap"?

239
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:27,229
No.

240
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,796
I did know where it was,
so I told him.

241
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,451
But afterwards
in the car,

242
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,148
I screamed
for like 10 minutes.

243
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:36,586
My HOA wanted to refurbish
a "We Are The World" mural

244
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,327
that only has white children
in it.

245
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,763
Ugh.
I voted to tear it down,

246
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,461
but they don't see
the problem.

247
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,637
Forget tearing it down.

248
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,726
Make them add
an Asian face to it.

249
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:46,770
[sighs]

250
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,816
Trust me, my HOA
has more white ladies

251
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,426
than a Neil Diamond
concert,

252
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,428
except they're not aroused --
They're bitter,

253
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:53,690
and they won't listen.

254
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:54,996
Oh, they will this time.

255
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,041
Now that
there's two of us here,

256
00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:59,566
we can set them up
for a Racism Trap.

257
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,525
I hate racism,
and I love a trap.

258
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:03,700
Tell me more.

259
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,836
Hi, I'm Rick, and this is
my assistant, Claude.

260
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,272
We work for the Census.

261
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:12,143
Do you mind if we ask you
a few questions?

262
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,580
Sure, be happy to.

263
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,624
Great.

264
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:15,538
How many people live
in your household?

265
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,366
Just two,
me and my husband.

266
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,976
Great.
And do you have a pool?

267
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,195
Yes, we do.

268
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:21,239
[chuckles]

269
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,590
Oh, excellent,
excellent.

270
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,462
And what hours do you leave
this pool unattended?

271
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:27,768
A, all day?

272
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,465
B, 9:00 to 5:00?

273
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,858
C, Nights and weekends?

274
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:33,034
Or D, Other,
please specify.

275
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,383
♪♪

276
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,647
[indistinct conversations]

277
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:40,650
Jessica, relax on the pastries.
Let's get this meeting started.

278
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:43,653
Um, I'm not Jessica.

279
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,090
Oh, do we all
look alike to you?

280
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,744
Um...

281
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,050
No?
[chuckles nervously]

282
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,965
She was turned around, she has
black hair, and she's wearing

283
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,401
that same dress
that you always wear.

284
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,708
Though I must say,
she wears it better.

285
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:57,493
Do you ever mix up any
of these other ladies' names?

286
00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,888
I wonder what's different
about me and Elaine.

287
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,716
Hmm...
Hmm...

288
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,500
[women murmuring]

289
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,328
Okay. What can I do
to fix this?

290
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:07,764
That mural
you're repainting?

291
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,549
Make one of those white kids
Chinese.

292
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,855
And the kid's eyes
need to be the same size

293
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:12,900
as all the others.

294
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:14,815
None of that
lines-for-eyes crap.

295
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,033
Deal.

296
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:18,296
Okay. So we good?
All forgiven?

297
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:19,776
Jessica, are we good,

298
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,691
or is there anything else
that would help you

299
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,563
to feel better
about this situation?

300
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:24,694
♪♪

301
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,566
...so then Elaine
gave me the opening,

302
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,133
and I made Deidre
ban low rise jeans.

303
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,571
Oh, great, because I know that's
coming to men's fashion soon,

304
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,094
and I am not comfortable
with it.

305
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,226
[sighs] I've never met
someone like her,

306
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,228
you know,
someone who is almost my equal.

307
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,927
We're so in sync,
like that music group,

308
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,232
Backstreet Boys.

309
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,583
Julius is just as amazing.
He's so cool.

310
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,019
And you know
I'm pretty cool, too,

311
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:46,586
so we're totally vibing
off of each other.

312
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:47,587
It's cool.

313
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:48,588
Guess we're talking
about you now.

314
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,764
He's coming over tomorrow
to watch the Cowboys game.

315
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,026
And Marvin's
gonna come by, as well.

316
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:53,070
Three bulls.

317
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:54,115
Okay, back to me,

318
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:56,291
Elaine is taking me to brunch
in the morning.

319
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:58,685
But you hate brunch. You call it
lazy man's breakfast.

320
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,861
If Elaine likes it,
I'll give it a shot.

321
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,037
Apparently,
you can drink during the day,

322
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,821
and it's not sad.

323
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,562
[knock on door]

324
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,565
Hi! My name is Evan Huang,
and I'm with the U.S. Census.

325
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,828
Another Census
questionnaire?

326
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,526
I just answered one yesterday
with two other Asian kids.

327
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:17,138
Sorry, I can't handle
any more questions

328
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,182
about my pool.

329
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,967
Pool?

330
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,839
Lord, give me strength,

331
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,755
for I am a quivering volcano
of rage.

332
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,715
A toast to our success
at the HOA.

333
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:29,716
The mural is down.

334
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,152
And the jeans are up.
Mm.

335
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,632
[glasses clink]

336
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,677
If we have nothing else,
we have each other's back.

337
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,592
We need to find
our next target.

338
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,072
Mm.
There's a man
down my street

339
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,726
with a Shih Tzu
named "Chinatown"

340
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:41,162
that needs to be
taken down a notch.

341
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,642
Oh, I forgot to tell you.

342
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,818
My son drove to that tofu place
you recommended

343
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:45,862
and picked some up.

344
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:46,776
What a sweet young man.

345
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,212
You know,
I sent Eddie once,

346
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:49,997
and he came back
with pizza and a lamp.

347
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,739
Oh. [chuckles]
Mm.

348
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:55,524
♪♪

349
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,917
I've never
done this before,

350
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:59,571
but this moment
feels so right.

351
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,444
Elaine Lee,

352
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,099
will you do me the honor
of giving me parenting advice?

353
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,623
Jessica.

354
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,886
Of course. I'd love to.

355
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,453
Horace is
such a great kid.

356
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,803
I want my sons
to turn out just like him.

357
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,805
Well, for me,

358
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:18,460
the key was
confusing the child.

359
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,637
If he got an A,
sometimes I'd act happy,

360
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,378
and sometimes
I'd be displeased.

361
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:26,207
He never knew what was coming,
so he worked even harder.

362
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,471
So instead of no praise,
inconsistent praise.

363
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,473
Mm-hmm.Oh, I love it.

364
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:33,562
Try it and report back.

365
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,869
[sighs] Well, uh,
shall we get the check?
Sure.

366
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,784
I've had
a couple of drinks.

367
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,351
I'm gonna go call Horace
to get me a ride home.

368
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,397
Excuse me.

369
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:46,183
[jazz piano plays]

370
00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:48,838
I'm friends
with Chinese Oprah.

371
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:49,752
[chuckles]

372
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:52,494
I'm Chinese Gayle.

373
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:53,887
♪♪

374
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,845
So, you're
a big football fan, huh?

375
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:57,020
I am,
but the last couple years,

376
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,370
I've been so busy
with the restaurant,
I've fallen off a bit.

377
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,850
Mm-hmm.

378
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,765
Hey, hey, hey.
Sorry I'm late.

379
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,811
I finally got Maria
down for her nap,

380
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,421
though she'll probably
get up any second now.

381
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,728
No, let the patient die,
Margulies.

382
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,468
It's your relationship
with Clooney

383
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:11,818
that's on life support.

384
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,689
Uh, Marvin, Julius.
Julius, Marvin.

385
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:14,734
Hey.Great to meet you.

386
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,518
Julius, all right.
[laughs]Yeah.

387
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:17,954
Whoa.
Yeah.

388
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,260
Are those
homemade tortilla chips?

389
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,696
Oh, yeah.Oh!

390
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,176
I spent the summer
after junior high

391
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,481
hitchhiking
through Mexico.

392
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:26,093
I met a little, uh,
chica bonita

393
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:28,399
who taught me how to make love
and cook with lard.

394
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:29,531
Yeah.
[laughs]

395
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,272
Hey, so are your guys
putting up a fight,

396
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,316
or did Michael Irvin

397
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:33,883
have them at the strip club
all night?

398
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,406
Oh, hey.
Wouldn't matter.

399
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:36,843
Your Dolphins start
a 50-year-old QB

400
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,888
with a knee brace
the size of an oil barrel.

401
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:39,889
Hoo-hoo!
[laughs]

402
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,065
Uh-oh, a couple ball busters
going at it.

403
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,285
Yeah, you on the ledge
about passing on Randy Moss

404
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,504
for that 8th pick, huh?Ah. No, don't need him.

405
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,724
Chan Gailey's offense
has looked really good.

406
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:49,986
Yeah.
Wait,
who's Chan Gailey?

407
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:51,727
Gailey's helped you guys out.
I have to admit that.Uh-huh.

408
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,121
I liked his concepts
for Kordell Stewart
at Pittsburgh.

409
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,862
Thank God he didn't
try to put Aikman in
the "slash" role here.

410
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,994
Aikman at flanker?[both laugh]

411
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:01,258
[laughs]
Aikman? No way.

412
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:02,303
Okay, whoa.

413
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,479
These chips you made
are insane.

414
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,046
Mm-hmm.Do you make a lot
of stuff at home?

415
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:07,482
As much as I can.

416
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:08,918
Right now, my passion
is homemade sausage.

417
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,746
Oh, I love making
homemade sausage.

418
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,008
I find the key is,

419
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,923
the quality
of the intestines...The quality
of the intestines...

420
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,359
...for the casings....for the casings.

421
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:16,883
What?!
[laughs]

422
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:17,971
Oh, all right.

423
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,276
You're all right.
Yeah.

424
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,365
Uh, you know,
I've never been a-a sausage guy.

425
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,976
I'm more of a bacon man
myself.

426
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,281
So what's
your go-to meat grinder?

427
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,979
It's not
about the machine.

428
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,937
It's about the man
behind the machine.

429
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:28,808
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

430
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,722
Hmm. Yeah.[laughs]

431
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:32,550
Oh, I would love that.Yeah. Oh, that's me.

432
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:33,682
Hey,
can I give you a ride?

433
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,683
Oh, sure.

434
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,380
It's so nice
Horace called you a cab.

435
00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:37,555
Called?

436
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:40,036
No, he's driving the cab.[horn honks]

437
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:40,820
Hey, Mom.

438
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,387
Somebody was just wearing
Jordache cologne in here.

439
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:44,954
Just want to let you know.

440
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,352
How have the fares
been today?

441
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:54,703
Oh, SeaWorld to Disney
is on fire.

442
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,314
[thinking] Her "successful"
Harvard graduate son

443
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:58,576
drives a cab?

444
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:01,362
Do you like the beaded
seat cushion I got you?

445
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:04,539
Well, I think it's okay,
but my back is loving it.

446
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,802
[rattling]It's like getting a massage
every time I move.

447
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:07,803
[chuckles]

448
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,544
Something isn't right.

449
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:11,589
He must own
the entire cab company.

450
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:12,895
Yeah, that's gotta be it.

451
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,205
Oh, wow, that was fast.
We're here.

452
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:21,382
Do you think Horace would mind
dropping me off on his way home?

453
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,558
What do you mean?
I amhome.

454
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,603
[car doors open, close] He lives with his parents?

455
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,170
What the hell is going on here?

456
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,215
[knocks]

457
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,564
Do you want to get out?

458
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,435
This is kinda
how dogs die.

459
00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:34,874
So, uh, while we wait
for Louis to pick you up,

460
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:36,092
you care for a tour?

461
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,746
Of your lie factory?

462
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,921
I'd love to.

463
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,968
It's embarrassing,
but most of our wall space

464
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,535
is dedicated
to Horace.

465
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,973
And here's his diploma.

466
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,366
Okay, at least
the degree is real.

467
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:50,890
Horace Lee.

468
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,326
Bachelor's Degree in Art.

469
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,110
Isn't it amazing?

470
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:54,894
Art?

471
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,766
You spent 200 grand
on an art degree?

472
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,420
And it didn't cost us
a dime.

473
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:00,900
He got
a full scholarship.

474
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,640
Oh, at least it didn't
cost him anything.

475
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,251
He started off
as Pre-Med...

476
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,340
[chuckles]
...but then switched majors.

477
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,908
It cost him everything!

478
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,998
Oh, and this,
in my opinion,

479
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,130
is his finest work.

480
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:18,352
Bill Gates offered him
quite a lot to buy it.

481
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,788
But Horace
refused to sell.

482
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,139
He doesn't believe in
commercializing his creativity.

483
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,706
Horace is a dud!

484
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,621
Elaine completely misled me.

485
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,840
Jessica,

486
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:29,929
the way
you're staring at me,

487
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,148
I'm sensing
a lot of judgment.

488
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,194
I haven't said
anything judgmental.

489
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,022
Your face and posture
say it all.

490
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,937
Betrayed by my beautiful face.

491
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:41,636
You're wondering why you took
parenting advice from me

492
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,507
when you disapprove of my son
so much.

493
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,639
She's in my head.

494
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,249
Uh, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?

495
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,252
Horace might not be
youridea of a success,

496
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,645
but I'm proud of him,

497
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:51,951
and you have
no right to judge.

498
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,126
I should leave.

499
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,127
Yes, you should.

500
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:55,084
How did she hear that?

501
00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:57,957
♪♪

502
00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,089
How much time till we move
to the Gibsons' pool?

503
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,047
According to our data,

504
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:04,137
we have four hours
till the owners come home.

505
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,616
[amplified]
Incorrect!

506
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,183
Your time is up!

507
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,099
EDDIE: How did you --

508
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,233
What are you talking about?
It -- It's our friend's pool.

509
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,974
Cut the crap, Edwyn.

510
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:16,497
Relax,
it's a victimless crime.

511
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:17,846
Victimless?

512
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,022
The people's trust in the Census
has been eroded.

513
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:21,981
I'm sorry, bro,
we're not leaving.

514
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:26,986
[amplified] Eddie Elvis Huang
sleeps with a stuffed animal.

515
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:30,119
Emery No-Middle-Name Huang
waxes his chest.

516
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,425
Whoa, whoa,
what are you doing?

517
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:32,992
If you don't
get out of this pool,

518
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,124
I'm visiting the houses
of everyone you know

519
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:37,300
and announcing
more embarrassing facts.

520
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,220
[amplified] Justice is served,
Census sty--

521
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,265
[bullhorn squeals]Aah!

522
00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:47,745
Thanks for getting me
out of that house of horrors.

523
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,096
Elaine totally misled me
on her son.

524
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,185
To think I almost thought
she was my equal.

525
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,316
I'm out
on the Lee family, too.

526
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,752
I think Julius is trying

527
00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,319
to hijack
my friendship with Marvin.

528
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,017
He comes into my house --
myhouse --

529
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,670
and disrespects me
like that?

530
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:01,803
Al Pacino?

531
00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:03,674
No, that's not
a Pacino impression.

532
00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:05,241
That's just
me being angry.

533
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:08,766
Wait,
is that Julius' truck...

534
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,030
at Marvin's?

535
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,292
[laughs]
This is good.

536
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:13,858
Yeah.
[door slams]

537
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:16,122
Glad to see you two are
having fun. Guess I was busy.

538
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,036
Hey, Louis,
how's it going?

539
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:18,298
You liking Marvin's
meat grinder, Julius?

540
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:20,561
We used to use that
to prep beef for our chili.

541
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,345
Or are you two
yucking it up

542
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:25,348
about how the Cowboys
need to start Marchand

543
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,568
or Lowenstein
or who the hell cares?

544
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,613
Don't tell me.
Al Pacino.

545
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:31,224
No, I'm angry!

546
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:34,183
Julius here is trying
to steal my best friend!

547
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:35,141
It's so --

548
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,707
It's -- It's not cool!

549
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,013
What?

550
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,058
[scoffs]

551
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:42,322
I thought that Julius
was going to steal youfrom me.

552
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,497
You did?

553
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,542
I mean, you dropped chili
and -- and Ernest

554
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:46,587
to go meet him.

555
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,069
You know I can't watch it alone.
I laugh too hard.

556
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,592
And you always
bring me back.

557
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:55,161
You got nothing to worry about.
I could never replace you.

558
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,075
Plus,
Jessica would kill me

559
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,077
if I lost the discounts
on your dentistry.

560
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:01,080
[laughs]
Okay.

561
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,604
[both laugh]

562
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,954
Maybe I should just
get my casings and go.

563
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,173
Oh, no.

564
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,871
We were making
a sausage sampler for you.

565
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,091
Maybe turn you into
a "sausage man."

566
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,179
Really?

567
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:16,182
[sighs]

568
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,748
I am so sorry, guys.

569
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,272
I got carried away.

570
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,362
Well...

571
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,580
Well, okay.

572
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,278
[Marvin laughs]

573
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:28,194
Hey, why don't we cook up
a few links and watch Ernest?

574
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:29,238
Together.

575
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:30,152
HONEY: Hey!

576
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:31,806
I know you guys
are doing something,

577
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,590
but can you
take it outside?

578
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,463
Really, Margulies?

579
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,465
It took curing
a methadone-addicted baby

580
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,771
for you to realize
what you have with Clooney?

581
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,121
♪♪

582
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,123
[indistinct conversations]

583
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,037
Not a low rise jean
in sight.

584
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,649
I did it.
I changed the world.

585
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,651
Think you spoke too soon.

586
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:53,044
♪ The ladies will kick it♪

587
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,350
♪ The rhyme that is wicked♪

588
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:56,439
♪ Those that don't know
how to be pros get evicted♪

589
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:58,224
DEIDRE:
Aren't you two friends?

590
00:18:58,354 --> 00:18:59,399
Why would she disrespect you
like that?

591
00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:01,227
Oh, I can't wait
to find out.

592
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:04,447
Jenny McCarthy,
what are you doing here?

593
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,232
I wasn't going to miss
the unveiling.

594
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,103
And I knew
you'd be here,

595
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,671
so I figured
I'd give you plenty to judge,

596
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,455
since that's
what you do best.

597
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:14,457
♪♪

598
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:15,502
[snores]

599
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:18,461
Ugh. This argument
is a snoozer!

600
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:23,031
Everyone,
thank you for coming

601
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,468
and for your support
to refresh this mural.

602
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:29,864
Without further ado,
I give you "We Are The World."

603
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,736
[crowd gasps, murmurs]

604
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,042
♪♪

605
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,436
You gave the Chinese kid
a math book?

606
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,177
You think that's all
Chinese kids can do?

607
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,179
I don't really
see the problem.

608
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,181
Being good at math
is good.

609
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,660
This is so frustrating.

610
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:46,272
Forget it,
you are all not worth it.

611
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,143
No, wait.

612
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,231
This isn't okay.

613
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:50,841
♪♪

614
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:54,976
It doesn't matter
if it's a good stereotype.

615
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:57,065
A stereotype
is a stereotype.

616
00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:01,417
Yes, some Chinese kids
enjoy schoolwork.

617
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:05,247
But some also want to be
rappers, tennis players...

618
00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:08,207
or great painters.

619
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:11,993
Their parents are proud of them
for what they are

620
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,213
and just want to see them
represented that way.

621
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,258
Wouldn't you want the same
for your own kids?

622
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,695
[crowd murmuring]

623
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,306
Well, I think
it's unanimous.

624
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,003
We'll change
the mural.

625
00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,310
Yes.[cheers and applause]

626
00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:27,748
Thank you
for saying that.

627
00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:29,750
You know,
we might not always get along,

628
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,317
but you were right.

629
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,797
If nothing else,
we have each other's backs.

630
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,016
♪♪

631
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:38,106
I'm sorry I judged you
and your cabbie-artist son.

632
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,239
And if he's willing,

633
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:42,893
I think Horace should be the one
to fix the mural.

634
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,025
♪♪

635
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:45,374
He'd be honored.

636
00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:48,029
I'll ask him when his
harmonica lesson gets out.

637
00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:52,425
[thinking] Yikes. [thinking] I know.

638
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:53,600
That looks much better.

639
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:57,343
♪♪

640
00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:59,345
You did a great job,
Horace.

641
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:00,389
Thanks, Jessica.

642
00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:02,478
By the way, I saw your book
in the dollar bin.

643
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:04,698
No shame in that.
I bought it and loved it.

644
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,308
You and me, we're not
so different, right?

645
00:21:06,439 --> 00:21:07,701
Just two Chinese artists.

646
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:09,268
Uh-huh.

647
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:11,313
Oh, Elaine,
meet my kids.Oh.

648
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,359
[amplified] Sorry, Mommy,
no time for chitchat.

649
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:16,231
The Census demands I escort
these perps to the pool.

650
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:17,798
How am I supposed to go back
to the public pool

651
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,365
after tasting private?

652
00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:20,801
Back to swimming
in Band-Aid water.

653
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,325
Quiet, Waxy,
keep on moving!

654
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:25,327
I can see
why he's your favorite.

655
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:26,807
[chuckles]

656
00:21:29,592 --> 00:21:32,508
--Captions by VITAC--