1
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,179
Mr. Occipinti: Come in, people!
Come on in! Find a seat.

2
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:06,397
This is gonna be awesome.

3
00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:08,399
I can't wait to get
behind that wheel.

4
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:10,271
Hang a Louie on the I-4.

5
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:13,056
Dude, I've already been driving
all summer with my parents.

6
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,711
Me too. Long trips.

7
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,887
I drive, my mom
stares out the window,

8
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,932
and we both think
of what it would've been like

9
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,195
if we never
got out of Memphis.

10
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,718
I didn't know everyone
was driving.

11
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,676
Don't worry, Eddie.
I'm with you.

12
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,461
My sisters refuse
to let me drive.

13
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,419
They say I get
too many leg spasms.

14
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,291
Eddie, you have calm legs.
Why haven't you driven?

15
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,727
Have you met my parents?

16
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:32,902
Are you
gonna have trouble

17
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,208
getting them to sign
the permission slip?

18
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:35,165
[ Thumps ]

19
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,561
Mnh. No. I have
an airtight plan.

20
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,997
I'm going to hit up
my dad

21
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,173
during a monthly father-son trip
to the mustard shop.

22
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,480
Fancy mustard always
puts him in a good mood.

23
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,134
[ Horn honks
"Shave and a Haircut" ]

24
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:50,224
♪♪

25
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,313
What's up, suckers?

26
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:53,444
Pretty nice day.

27
00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:55,359
Figured I'd ride my hog.

28
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,318
How did you get
your driver's license?

29
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,015
I'm older than you guys.

30
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,323
I stayed back in second grade.
On purpose.

31
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:03,585
Liked the upcoming talent
better.

32
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,326
What's it like?
Driving?

33
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:08,329
On your own?
No one screaming at your leg?

34
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,331
It's like...flying

35
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,246
while sitting down.

36
00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:14,683
♪♪

37
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:18,339
Damn!
I gotta get my license.

38
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,689
--Captions by VITAC--

39
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,256
♪ Fresh off the boat

40
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:23,779
♪ I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go ♪

41
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,955
♪ If you don't know, homey,
now you know ♪

42
00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:27,391
♪ Fresh off the boat

43
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,611
♪ Homey, you don't know
where I come from ♪

44
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,047
♪ But I know where I'm goin'

45
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,745
♪ I'm fresh off the boat

46
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,312
♪♪

47
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:37,401
Permission slip
for Driver's Ed.

48
00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,186
My airtight plan.
How?

49
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:42,058
Your teachers may take
the summers off from
you, but not from me.

50
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,277
I meet with them in July

51
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,148
and go over the upcoming
lesson plan.

52
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,541
Even I didn't know
she did that.

53
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:48,282
Look, I need this.
I'll do anything.

54
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,413
I'll -- I'll cook.
I'll clean.

55
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:50,936
I'll stop smelling bad --

56
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,590
Wait. You signed it?

57
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,201
Of course.

58
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:55,941
The quicker you can drive,
the quicker

59
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,204
I can stop being
the family taximan.

60
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,075
Oh, my God.
Let's go right now.

61
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,816
No way.
You learn on our car,

62
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:03,079
we'll need new brakes,
new bumpers, new rods.

63
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,733
You can learn at school.

64
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,430
But that's months
of classroom time

65
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,084
before we even get
in the car!

66
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,912
I know.
I have the lesson plan.

67
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:14,612
What your mom means to say is,
this is a big responsibility.

68
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,658
No need to rush.
Enjoy the process.

69
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,834
This is the milestone
of young adulthood.

70
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:20,227
I can think
of a better one.

71
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:24,448
In Taiwan, I was driving a bus
when I was 11.

72
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:27,408
[ Scoffs ] I didn't have
the luxury to take my time.

73
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,757
I had to learn on the fly...

74
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,325
with the constant fear
of delivering myself

75
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,980
and a busload of commuters
to a fiery death.

76
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:37,113
I lost my thermos
on the first day.

77
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,289
♪♪

78
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,035
I have some vacuuming to do,
but maybe after I finish,

79
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,210
we can continue
our Boggle match?

80
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,690
[ Dice rattling ]

81
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,474
Sorry. I have
a commitment later.

82
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:52,476
Oh, you have
a commitment,do you?

83
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,350
I'd love to know what's more
important than Boggle Brothers.

84
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,395
Grandma invited me to hang out
at her new place.

85
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:02,094
It's the garage.
The old tenant was a car!

86
00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:04,488
And in the future,
when we get invited out,

87
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,273
can you put it on the calendar
so I know?

88
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:08,797
Luckily, I keep
my Saturdays light.

89
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,626
Actually,
Grandma only invited me.

90
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:14,933
What?!
We're a package deal.

91
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,500
Who invites butter
but not the rolls?!

92
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,808
[ Sighs ]

93
00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,462
-I got you. I got you.
-[ Fussing ]

94
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,246
Louis: [ Chuckles ]

95
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,074
Someone's a little
fussy pants.

96
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:27,859
[ Chuckles ] A little?
I'm allfussy pants.

97
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,121
-[ Laughs ]
-[ Fusses ]

98
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:31,298
There we go.
Okay.

99
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,735
She just won't sleep, Lou.
Mm.

100
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,477
I swear, Honey's serving up
coffee milk.

101
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,260
Can I drive?!

102
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,479
Nope.

103
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:39,523
Where are you guys off to?

104
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,699
Eddie and I are taking
our monthly excursion

105
00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:43,266
to The Mustard Squeeze.

106
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,485
Oh, man, I wish I had

107
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,182
had a dad like you.

108
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,140
-[ Chuckles ]
-You know, one that prepares

109
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,490
his son for the world

110
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:50,404
and everything in it.

111
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,405
I don't know about that.

112
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:52,406
I'm serious, Lou.

113
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,538
I was thrown to the wolves.

114
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:55,496
No one protected me.

115
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,062
No one taught me

116
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:59,282
that there were good
and bad mustards out there.

117
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,458
Your kid, no matter what
sandwich comes his way,

118
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,939
is gonna know what to put
on it because of you.

119
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,724
[ Chuckles ]
Is this still about mustard?

120
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:07,725
Yeah.

121
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:08,900
No.

122
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,119
I don't know.

123
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:11,163
[ Sighs ]

124
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,948
Well, you know,
when Eddie was a baby

125
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,559
and wouldn't sleep, I'd put him
in the car and drive him around.

126
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:16,517
He'd pass right out.

127
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,214
Just like that?
Huh?

128
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,305
Works every time.

129
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:25,874
[ Mysterious music plays ]

130
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:28,572
♪♪

131
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:32,228
[ All speaking Mandarin ]

132
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,588
Why would you cover
an owl's cage at night?

133
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:45,937
They're nocturnal.

134
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:48,766
Hmm.

135
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,378
I was looking for the hourglass
timer for Boggle.

136
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,510
Hope I didn't interrupt
anything important.

137
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:56,905
No. Grandma was just telling me
about how her and Yeye met.

138
00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:58,515
Oh. I'd love to hear
that story.

139
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,266
I can just hold the wheel
and steer

140
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,615
if you want to rest
your arms.

141
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:12,921
I know what you're doing.

142
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,401
You think because I'm full
of gourmet mustard

143
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,054
and away from your mom,
I'll give in.

144
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,229
Nice try.

145
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:22,583
Oh, car trouble. I'm gonna
see if they need any help.

146
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,411
Stay in here.

147
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,544
Hey!
You need some help?

148
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,024
I think
it's just overheated.

149
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:31,853
Probably just your rods.

150
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,724
[ Siren chirps ]

151
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:36,379
Oh. Hmm.

152
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,251
All right, sir, can you tell me
how you caused the accident?

153
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,210
E-Excuse me?

154
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,820
No, it wasn't him.
He was just --

155
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,213
No, you don't have to
cover for him.

156
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,432
We all know
whose fault it was.

157
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,259
Uh...his car overheated.

158
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,218
I pulled over to help.
There was no accident.

159
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,654
Oh. [ Chuckles ]

160
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,743
Well,
that's a nice surprise.

161
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:55,311
Normally, it's, you know...
[ Imitates radio dispatcher ]

162
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,878
"We got another crash
on Sycamore

163
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:59,446
due to, you guessed it,
Asians. Over."

164
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:02,057
Uh...what is that
supposed to mean?

165
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,233
Oh, come on, I'm joking.

166
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:07,279
You get it!
[ Laughs ]

167
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,194
I'm not a racist.
Come on.

168
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,414
My -- My training officer
was Korean.

169
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,547
Marvin: Man, I wish
I had a dad like you...

170
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,070
one that prepares your son

171
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:17,551
for the world
and everything in it.

172
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,509
No one protected me.

173
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,206
No one taught me

174
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,991
that there were good and bad
mustards out there.

175
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,775
Hey, do you understand
the words

176
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,255
that are coming out
of my mouth?!

177
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:28,692
[ Chuckles ]

178
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,302
It's "Rush Hour."

179
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:32,217
[ Scoffs ] It's the best movie
of the summer,

180
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,349
possibly of all time.

181
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,698
I, uh, haven't seen it.

182
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,526
How have younot seen it?

183
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,528
You would loveit!

184
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,661
[ Laughs ]

185
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:44,665
♪♪

186
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:45,927
I'm gonna teach you
to drive.

187
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,624
You're gonna be the best damn
driver on the road.

188
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,713
Holy...nuts.

189
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,280
Seriously?! What happened?[ Seat belt clicks ]

190
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,803
The officer was just
reminding me

191
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,457
how dangerous it is
out there.

192
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,720
And it's my job to make sure
you're prepared.

193
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,635
This is the best
mustard trip ever!

194
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:03,814
All right, hydrate,

195
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,468
do some light stretching,
and get some sleep.

196
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,643
Training starts tomorrow.

197
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,863
I can't believe
I'm finally gonna drive.

198
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,431
I'm never walking into
another Wendy's in my life.

199
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,520
-Heeeey!
-Heeeey!

200
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,173
No mustard talk.
It gives me a headache.

201
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,000
-Yep.
-We know!

202
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,830
-How you gonna convince her?
-Got an airtight plan.

203
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:22,398
First, a compliment --
play to her ego.

204
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,835
Then a philosophical question
that we can debate for hours.

205
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,924
Once I exhaust
her argumentative powers,

206
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,709
I'll put on the charm,
and she'll cave.

207
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:33,540
[ Sighs ]

208
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,720
You're so good
at balancing the checkbook.

209
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:46,378
So...you ever think
they'll create a robot

210
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,379
that can feel joy?

211
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,207
No.

212
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,600
Mmm...

213
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:54,561
I love you so much.

214
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:55,779
You are up to something.

215
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,302
My airtight plan. How?!

216
00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:58,478
Spill it.

217
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,743
I want to teach Eddie
to drive.

218
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,309
He needs to be ready.
More than ready.

219
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:05,876
No. We agreed.

220
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,227
I know, but I forgot about this
bad-Asian-driver stereotype.

221
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,402
You forgot about it?

222
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,230
You make those jokes
all the time.

223
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,580
I do not!

224
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:14,711
What about this morning?

225
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,758
[ Thumping ]

226
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:21,805
[ Laughs ]
Asian driver coming through!

227
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,764
It's okay, Louis.

228
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,766
Wecan joke about it.
We are Asian.

229
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,898
Also, I back into the trash cans
twice a week.

230
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,552
That's because you're
a careless driver,

231
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,597
not because you're Asian.

232
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,728
Are we sure?

233
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,775
I'm joking. Kind of.

234
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,820
I thought it was just
a dumb thing, too,

235
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,822
until I realized Eddie's
going to be facing it now.

236
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,781
I'm sure he knows
all about it.

237
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:43,131
He's 15
and he reads Angrymagazine.

238
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,698
It's MADmagazine.

239
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:45,742
And there's
a huge difference

240
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,570
between reading clever satire
at home

241
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,398
and being out there,
vulnerable,

242
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,618
exposed to this nonsense.

243
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,707
I never thought
about it that way.

244
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,839
We stopped to help someone
on the side of the road today,

245
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,624
and the cop just assumed
that I caused an accident.

246
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,060
Did Eddie hear this?

247
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,975
No, but it's only
a matter of time.

248
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,499
If he stops too short
or leaves the blinkers on,

249
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,848
it'll be thrown in his face,

250
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,155
even though everyone else
drives the same way!

251
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,766
People do stick
their finger up at me a lot.

252
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,463
Jessica,
the stereotype's out there.

253
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:12,987
We can't change that.

254
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:15,467
But we can try to protect our
son from it the best we can,

255
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:17,600
which means he has to be
doubly prepared, not less.

256
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,516
Okay, you can train him.

257
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,604
Really?

258
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,301
Yes,
I'm gonna go tell Eddie.

259
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:26,000
Louis, sometimes he can be
a little slow on the uptake,

260
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,089
so better triple train him
to be safe.

261
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:31,788
♪♪

262
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,747
Where've you been?

263
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,793
Went for a walk.
Fresh air.

264
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:39,796
I've asked you to walk with me
and the HOA ladies

265
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,233
every day
for four straight years.

266
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:45,802
Suddenly, tonight you catch
a hot case of walking fever?

267
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,848
I heard the moon
was really big, and I --

268
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,806
I saw your bike parked
on the side of the garage.

269
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,765
It always is now
that Grandma lives in there.

270
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,115
How long have these little hangs
been going on?

271
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,899
I don't know.
When she first moved out there,

272
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,248
I thought she'd be lonely,

273
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,033
so I brought her
a housewarming present --

274
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:00,512
a nice fern.

275
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,689
That's it! Of course!

276
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,473
She hasn't invited me
out there

277
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:05,996
because she's mad
I didn't get her a gift.

278
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,476
Maybe.

279
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,260
Now to figure out
what to get

280
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,654
for the woman who has
everything.

281
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,656
Did you get a pot
to go with that fern?

282
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,657
Yeah.

283
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,703
Ugh! Emery!

284
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,922
All right.
Let's do this.

285
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,315
I promise
to keep it under 75.

286
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:21,795
What's that?

287
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,579
Oh,
it's your first lesson.

288
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,363
Whoa. Robbing a bank!

289
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:27,583
I'm gonna learn how to drive
getaway style!

290
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,889
No, it's a tire iron.

291
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,542
You have to learn how
the machine works

292
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,022
before you can be
expected to master it.

293
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,503
Rotate the tires.
Change the oil, the spark plugs.

294
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:35,939
Check the fluid.

295
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:37,941
My friends didn't have to learn
any of this nonsense.

296
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,074
They're already driving!
Brian has a hog!

297
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,728
I made a deal
with your mom.

298
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,599
If you want to use our car,

299
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,470
you're gonna have to
learn my way.

300
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:47,690
You gotta stop
making deals with Mom.

301
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,692
She tricks you every time.

302
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:50,693
Go![ Stopwatch beeps ]

303
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:54,741
♪♪

304
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:58,788
♪♪

305
00:10:58,832 --> 00:10:59,963
10:00 and 2:00.

306
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:02,705
♪♪

307
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:05,055
Heavy mist.

308
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:06,709
Steady rain.

309
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,756
Downpour.

310
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:13,411
♪♪

311
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,370
Brake. Accelerate.

312
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,980
Right turn. Brake.

313
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,721
[ Squeals]

314
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,115
Rainbow Road!

315
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,159
Go!

316
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:26,990
♪♪

317
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:27,991
10:00 and 2:00.

318
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,079
[ Stopwatch beeps ]

319
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,952
♪♪

320
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:32,735
[ Chuckles ]

321
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,346
I think you're ready.
Show me what you got.

322
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,828
Okay. I checked
the tire pressure,

323
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,787
adjusted the mirror,
released the parking brake,

324
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:43,528
turned off the radio,
and buckled my seatbelt.

325
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,747
Is that everything?

326
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,143
Forgot to check
your blind spot.

327
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:50,884
No, I did.
You just missed it.

328
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,624
Oh, yeah, Jessica?

329
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,670
I don't know how you didn't
smell my sunscreen.

330
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:57,934
You just got in an accident

331
00:11:57,978 --> 00:11:59,675
because you didn't
check your blind spot.

332
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,024
I'm parked
in my own driveway.

333
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,026
Most accidents happen
within a mile of home.

334
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,027
I'm at home!

335
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,159
That's within a mile.

336
00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:06,595
We can try again
next weekend.

337
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:07,770
Next weekend?!

338
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:10,207
Forget it. I'm just
gonna wait for school.

339
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:12,644
Listen, this is
a big moment in your life,

340
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,037
and I wanted it
to be perfect.

341
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:15,952
But the truth is,
there's this stereotype --

342
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,214
Asians suck at driving?

343
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:18,999
Yeah, I've heard that crap.
Who cares?

344
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:19,826
You will! I know you.

345
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,915
When you get blamed
for every little thing

346
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,134
that goes wrong on the road
whether it's your fault or not.

347
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,788
So, because people
are stupid,

348
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,921
I have to do
twice as much work?

349
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,226
I'm not saying it's fair.

350
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,576
Eddie, you can half-ass this
if you want.

351
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:32,969
Maybe add
to the stereotype.

352
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,971
Or you can try to
rail against it...

353
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,886
by being better.

354
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,888
It's your choice.

355
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,412
I hate that your "be the change"
speech always gets to me.

356
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:42,457
[ Keys rattle ]

357
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,460
[ Door motor whirring ]

358
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,288
Like what you see?
Take a picture.

359
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:48,768
It will last longer.

360
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,335
Bearskin rug, eh?

361
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,687
So soft.

362
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:57,298
Maybe we all sit
and break it in

363
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,779
while you finish the story
of how you met Yeye.

364
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,488
All right,
what's the deal?

365
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,969
I gave her a present 10 times
better than your lame-o fern,

366
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:18,275
and she's still not giving me
the time of day.

367
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,103
Maybe you're trying
too hard.

368
00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,540
I'm not buying your cheese.
Spill it!

369
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:25,456
Okay, Grandma doesn't like
telling her stories to you

370
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,068
because, well, you know
how you are.

371
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,330
A delight?

372
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,985
You've been known to suck
the fun out of things.

373
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,944
Or as Grandma says,
you're a stick-in-the-mud.

374
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,337
[ Gasps ]

375
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,078
A stick-in-the-mud?!

376
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:38,905
I'll have you know

377
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,168
a beaver would call that
the start to a house!

378
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,867
I got to honk the horn
for the first time.

379
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,000
It felt so good!

380
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,523
Yeah, they say you
never forget your first.

381
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,351
I sure didn't.

382
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,048
Hooonnnnnk!

383
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,964
My dad says the most effective
honk is good defensive driving.

384
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,533
Why are you wearing those gloves
if you can't drive?

385
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:01,057
My sisters realized I can be
their designated driver.

386
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:03,059
Now they let me drive
all the time.

387
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,974
Trish met a guy from Tampa
in a bar,

388
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,889
and I cruised them
all the way home

389
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,543
while they got busy
in the back seat.

390
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,501
What?!
You'redriving now?!

391
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,590
Welcome to Honktown.

392
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:17,987
♪♪

393
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,995
Yeah, it's a good batch.

394
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,083
[ Engine revs ]

395
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,171
Oh, Marvin...

396
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,179
I wonder if he's taking Maria
for a drive

397
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,659
to get her to sleep.

398
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,055
What the hell?!

399
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:46,146
♪♪

400
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,103
Eddie's on the lam!
Where are my keys?

401
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,148
[ Tires screech ]

402
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,801
[ Crashing ]

403
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,633
-Eddie!
-Everyone's okay, Lou.

404
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:58,288
I was too tired to drive,
so Eddie was helping me out.

405
00:14:58,332 --> 00:14:59,768
No one got hurt.

406
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,944
Oh, really?
Bianca looks okay to you?

407
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,076
Eddie, what did you do?

408
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,556
Me? Why do you think
I caused this?

409
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,210
Because
you're inexperienced.

410
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:10,083
Brian just started driving, too.
Why don't you blame him?

411
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,998
Is it 'cause I'm Asian?

412
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:14,087
I don't see faces.
I see cars.

413
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:17,090
Well, you didn't see mine!
Eddie's not at fault, Lou.

414
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,570
Old lead-foot here came
screaming around that corner

415
00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:21,094
way too fast.

416
00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:22,747
You are
such a hypocrite.

417
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,141
You immediately blame me
'cause I'm the Asian driver.

418
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:28,101
That's not what I'm doing.
I just assumed because you...

419
00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,146
Are Asian?!
[ Scoffs ] Just own it.

420
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,366
Everybody's a little bit racist.
Even you.

421
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:33,889
First you joke about it,

422
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,108
then you hate it,
then you play into it?

423
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:36,326
Make up your mind!

424
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,198
You weren't supposed to be
driving at all.

425
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,026
Your car.
This isn't your car.

426
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,636
I have
my learner's permit.

427
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,377
Not anymore.
I'm taking it away.

428
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,379
Driving is a privilege,
not a right.

429
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,163
Forget this, I'm out!

430
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,907
Brian:
So, I guess we swap info

431
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,692
and let the claims adjusters
figure out who caused what?

432
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:58,435
♪♪

433
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,265
Oh, sorry,
I'll give you the room.

434
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:04,006
Don't want to be
a stick-in-the-mud.

435
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:08,358
Oh, and I was
thinking about it.

436
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:11,013
How is a stick-in-the-mud
a bad thing anyway?

437
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,797
If it's lying flat,
you can step on it

438
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,060
to keep
your shoes clean and --

439
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,844
You're doing it right now.

440
00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,064
You pick apart
every little detail.

441
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,718
When someone's telling a story,
when they're watching TV --

442
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:22,894
I thought people liked it
when I corrected them

443
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,157
so they can learn.

444
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,420
Not really.
Especially notGrandma.

445
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:30,076
But if I were ever wrong,
I'd want someone to correct me.

446
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,904
You're not like most people.
You're special that way.

447
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,036
But Grandma's stories
are so...

448
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,908
Nonsensical? Who cares?

449
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,214
It's hard for me
to enjoy something

450
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,260
when I know it's wrong.

451
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,088
The little voice in my brain
won't quiet

452
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:43,219
until I fix the mistake.

453
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:45,265
That's Mom's voice.

454
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,136
It's okay to turn it off
every now and then.

455
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,095
Really?
We're allowed to do that?

456
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,403
♪♪

457
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,535
[ Gearshift clicks ]

458
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,058
[ Chuckles ]

459
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,842
Wish they stayed
that size forever.

460
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:58,930
Yeah.

461
00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,671
Hey, thanks
for driving us around.

462
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:03,152
And again, sorry.
I didn't know.

463
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:05,763
It's okay.
He just doesn't get that.

464
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,287
That you're only trying
to protect him.

465
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,505
Exactly.
Yeah.

466
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,942
Learning to drive is a huge
moment in a kid's life.

467
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:13,075
I didn't want this thing
to overshadow it.

468
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,860
I never thought I'd be the one
he first felt it from.

469
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,862
Well, look at the bright side,
Lou, it's the '90s.

470
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,342
People are getting hip.

471
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,952
All this race stuff
is almost done with.

472
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:25,261
Who knew teaching your kid to
drive could be so complicated?

473
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,568
[ Laughs ] Yeah. It was
the same for me and Nicole.

474
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,309
It's crazy for every parent.

475
00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:31,528
You know, it's a time
of very mixed emotions.

476
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,791
Not only is it one
of the last bonding moments,

477
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:37,012
but you're teaching them to
drive right out of the nest.

478
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,666
I didn't even
think of that.

479
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:42,235
Yeah. Maybe sandbagging your kid
wasn't just to protect him.

480
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,367
Maybe part of it was
that you're just not ready

481
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,456
to have him go out
and get mustard without you.

482
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,719
[ Chuckles ]

483
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,262
Hey.
[ Clears throat ]

484
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,264
It has been
pointed out to me

485
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,048
that I can be
a stick-in-the-mud.

486
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,140
I tried to soften it.

487
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,926
Well, either way, it is
a habit I am trying to fix.

488
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,755
Until then, I figured
I'd fill my mouth with taffy

489
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:28,019
as insurance should I feel
the urge to enlighten ignorance.

490
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:31,240
Great.

491
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:34,287
Then I will stick this giant
piece of candy in my mouth

492
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:35,897
and try to have
a good time.

493
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:48,170
[ Laughs ]

494
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:58,398
[ Owl singing
operatically ]

495
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,400
[ Chuckles ]

496
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:02,271
I might need
some of that taffy.

497
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:09,191
♪♪

498
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,367
Hey, playing
some football?

499
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:19,462
Look, Eddie, when I was
a kid in Taiwan...

500
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:20,637
You drove a bus.

501
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:22,335
Hear me out.

502
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,337
Yes, I drove a bus.

503
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:27,470
But I learned to drive it in a
place where everyone was Asian.

504
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:28,602
Sounds chaotic.

505
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:30,647
It was a little hectic,
yes,

506
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,823
but only because there were
so many people on the road.

507
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,564
Of course. Sure.

508
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,349
I know
I exaggerate the story.

509
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,655
I take after your grandma
in that way.

510
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:41,354
But the truth is, I had fun
learning to drive.

511
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,834
And then I came here
and it became less fun.

512
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,402
So I learned to beat people
to the punch

513
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:48,926
by joking about it myself.

514
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:52,800
I don't know if making light
of it is good or bad or both.

515
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:56,804
I just want things
to be easier for you.

516
00:19:56,847 --> 00:20:00,373
And I appreciate you clicking in
on this particular instance,

517
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:03,071
but I deal with this nonsense
all the time.

518
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,681
Do you know how many people
have asked me

519
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:05,943
if I've seen "Rush Hour"?

520
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:08,076
Me too!

521
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,252
I guess you were
more ready than I knew.

522
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,602
Dad, I'll be okay
out there.

523
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:15,257
I promise.

524
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,912
And I know you were just trying
to look out for me.

525
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,609
Yeah.

526
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,611
Also, maybe
I was a little over-cautious

527
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,396
because I was having
a good time with you,

528
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,354
and I didn't want it to end.

529
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:30,968
Now, let's go grab the rest
of the family

530
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:33,536
and go to this movie everyone
thinks we need to see.

531
00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:35,103
It looks good.

532
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:37,410
I know.

533
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,673
Hey, you know what?
I'm a little tired.

534
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:41,152
Why don't you drive?

535
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:42,850
Really?

536
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,853
Oh, these are just
the old house keys.

537
00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:48,421
That was the final test.
You pass.

538
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:55,515
Well, what did
everyone think of the movie?

539
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,778
The black man who talked
like a girl was funny,

540
00:20:57,821 --> 00:20:59,780
but I thought there was
one too many cheap jokes

541
00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:01,912
at the expense
of Chinese stereotypes.

542
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,480
Coming from the lady who brought
food from home to the mall.

543
00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:06,352
That's not a thing.
It's just smart.

544
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:07,353
I'm just glad I got to see

545
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:09,485
some Asian representation
on the big screen.

546
00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:11,922
Well, I was impressed
that a movie called "Rush Hour"

547
00:21:11,966 --> 00:21:14,098
never once made
a bad-Asian-driver joke.

548
00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:16,449
Maybe there's hope
for America yet.

549
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,542
-Okay, chopsticks.
-Oh.

550
00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:26,197
♪♪