1
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,972
Shania:
Let's go, girls.

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,142
[ Shania Twain's "Man!
I Feel Like a Woman!" plays ]

3
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,477
Come on.

4
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,979
**

5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:16,150
* I'm going out tonight,
I'm feeling all right *

6
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,652
* Gonna let it all hang out

7
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,154
[ Sniffs, coughs ]

8
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:23,824
* Want to make some noise,
really raise my voice *

9
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,760
* Yeah, I want to
scream and shout *

10
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,929
[ Maria crying ]

11
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,732
[ Sighs ]

12
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,767
* No inhibitions,
make no conditions *
Babe, it's your turn!

13
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,337
Marvin: Sorry. Just dealt
myself a hand of Solitaire.

14
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,772
* Get a little out of line *
I haven't had a glass of wine
in 10 months,

15
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,175
so let me have this buttery
Chard in peace.
* I ain't gonna act
politically correct *

16
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,177
Roger that.
Okay.

17
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,678
* I only want to have
a good time *

18
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,181
I've missed us.
[ Inhales deeply ]

19
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,349
* The best thing about
being a woman *

20
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,617
[ Glass shatters ]
What are you doing?!

21
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,619
What are you doing?!

22
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,454
* Is the prerogative
to have a -- *
[ Sighs ]

23
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,022
[ Music stops ]

24
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:59,693
Wine and Shania?
I got here just in time.

25
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,730
You need to Zuo Yue Zi.

26
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:07,435
-- Captions by VITAC --

27
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,602
* Fresh off the boat

28
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,438
* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

29
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,606
* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

30
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,941
* Fresh off the boat

31
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,444
* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

32
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:17,778
* But I know where I'm goin'

33
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,513
* I'm fresh off the boat

34
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:23,217
I'm sure Zuo Yue tea
is great,

35
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,886
and definitely worth
sneaking into my house,

36
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,555
scaring me,
and breaking my glassware,

37
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,790
but I'm a
coffee person.

38
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,493
Zuo Yue Zi
isn't just tea.

39
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,828
It's a Chinese custom
where your mother,

40
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,165
or your mother-in-law,
or your selfless friend

41
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,300
takes care of you
after you've given birth.

42
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,634
Oh, that's sweet.

43
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,470
And it looks like
I came just in time

44
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,473
because your body has obviously
been through a trauma.

45
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,940
But don't worry.

46
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:50,911
Zuo Yue Zi will help you
heal and re-balance.

47
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,080
Isn't that
what this is for?

48
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,216
[ Laughing ]

49
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,386
Come on. That's funny,
isn't it?

50
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,522
I'm still funny, right?

51
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,691
Good ol' Funny Honey.

52
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,693
I haven't slept
in 36 hours.

53
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,629
That's exactly why you need me
to Zuo Yue Zi for you.

54
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,299
Louis' mother did it for me,
and it was a lifesaver.

55
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:14,802
I'll cook all your meals, make
sure you get plenty of rest,

56
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,438
and I'll be an extra set
of hands with Maria.

57
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,273
I can't ask you
to do all that.

58
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:21,975
You're so busy with your family
and your book.

59
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,812
What book?
Please, let me help you.

60
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,781
Besides, this might be
the only opportunity I have

61
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,951
to Zuo Yue Zi for someone
because I have no daughters,

62
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,954
and my sons will probably
all marry strong women

63
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,224
who I will be too old
to overpower.

64
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,227
It's a tempting offer,
but I don't need help.

65
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,361
I've got Marvin.

66
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:43,697
[ Laughing ]

67
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:46,200
There's Funny Honey!

68
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,135
No, he helps
with the cooking...

69
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,138
Don't worry.
Breakfast is on the grill.

70
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,207
[ Clip, clip ]

71
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:55,876
Okay.

72
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,212
Let's try your Zuo Yue Zi.

73
00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:01,482
Fantastic.
Thank you, Honey,

74
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,484
for being the otherwise
disappointing

75
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,354
white daughter-in-law who
is too weak to fight me off.

76
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:14,161
[ Grunting, panting ]

77
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,664
The Weather Channel is counting
down the storms of the century,

78
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,599
and this is what
you're watching?

79
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,602
Hey! "Pumping Iron".
[ Chuckles ]

80
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,104
This movie inspired
my very first bowl cut.

81
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,873
Eddie and I want to start
lifting weights.

82
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,008
Don't get too big.
We're not buying you new shirts.

83
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,378
We know. We just wanted to
get stronger than Grandma.

84
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:31,779
[ Both grunting ]

85
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,614
I can't hold on.

86
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,783
My arms feel like Jell-O.

87
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,619
**

88
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,954
[ Grunts ]

89
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,823
**

90
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,962
She is
deceptively strong.

91
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,264
She doesn't slice
a watermelon.

92
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,433
She rips it open
with her bare hands.

93
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:55,269
Hey, Dad, since Mom's over
at Honey's for a while,

94
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,605
we thought we could turn
her office into a gym.

95
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:58,972
I don't see why not.

96
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:01,074
She's not using it anymore since
her book was a total fail--

97
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,444
I-I mean, she's not
using it anymore.

98
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,446
It's so great that
mysterious billionaire

99
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,416
bought all the copies of Mommy's
book and insisted she retire.

100
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,751
She told me Tom Clancy paid her
so she could stop writing

101
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,252
because he feared
the competition.

102
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,221
You two
are such idiots.

103
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,090
The mysterious billionaire
was Tom Clancy.

104
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:18,759
Oh!
Uh, yep, that's exactly
what happened.

105
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,094
[ Grunting ]
[ Sighs ]
I'll be in my room.

106
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,665
I can't concentrate
with all this grunting.

107
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:28,001
Hey, Dad, want to hop on
the muscle train with us?

108
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,003
I'd love to, but since
your mom's busy with Honey,

109
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,139
this is my chance to spend
some QT with number three.

110
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,341
[ Chuckles ]

111
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,444
Quality time with Evan?

112
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,481
Because your mom hogs him
to herself all the time?

113
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,149
Cool.

114
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,951
Hey, Emery, want to go
make a smoothie?

115
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,152
As Arnold says...

116
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,788
[ As Arnold ] "First you bulk,
then you shred."

117
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,657
**

118
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,494
Lunch time.

119
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:57,465
I made you a special fish soup
with red dates and Goji.

120
00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,934
It's full of iron to help
restore your broken body.

121
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,302
I wouldn't say
it's broken.

122
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:05,138
Of course, your...
splintered body. Try it.

123
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,807
How do you know
all this?

124
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,976
Grandma Huang did this
for me three times.

125
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,478
It was either
learn about Goji

126
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:14,448
or listen to one of her
arm wrestling stories.

127
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,384
Mmm, that's good.

128
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,786
"Good"? It's fantastic!
[ Chuckles ]

129
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,120
[ Slurps ]
Mmm.

130
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,723
You're spoiling us,
Jessica.

131
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,224
You sure you don't want me
to thaw us out

132
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,659
some strip steaks
for dinner?

133
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,027
-Please God, no.
-No.

134
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,797
I've already started on
a sesame oil soup for dinner.

135
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,800
You're staying for dinner?
Oh, God bless you.

136
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,469
Huh, soup for dinner?
Slurps up!

137
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:38,305
Oh, and thank you for the socks.
They're very cozy.

138
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,974
Well, it's important for new
mothers to keep their feet warm.

139
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:45,145
Grandma Huang gave me those
during our first Zuo Yue Zi.

140
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,980
I threatened to push her
down the stairs

141
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,183
so many times
in those socks.

142
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,685
[ Spoon clinks ]

143
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:55,989
I don't know if it's the Goji or
what, but something's happening.

144
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,258
I think I feel my milk
letting down.

145
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:01,028
Surrender to the Goji.

146
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,129
[ Chuckles ]

147
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,698
[ Breathes deeply ]

148
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,336
Okay,
I'm gonna...lift it.

149
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,672
I would argue
we already worked out

150
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,373
by moving all those boxes
of Mom's novel

151
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,175
from here
to Grandma's garage.

152
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,277
Guess we don't
want to overdo it.

153
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,113
Exactly. You know,
for a billionaire,

154
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,450
you'd think Tom Clancy could
come pick up his own books.

155
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,551
Hmm.

156
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,786
Hey, bud. What you doing?
Reading?

157
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:26,787
Trying to.

158
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,591
Ooh,
"Churchill: Lad to Legend".

159
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,292
Big book. Big man.

160
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,128
Dad, can I help you
with something?

161
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:38,231
No, I just thought
we could hang out, me and you.

162
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:42,069
Uh, I don't really..."hang".
Sure you do!

163
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,904
I see you in here
with Mom all the time --

164
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,307
hanging, chilling,
maxing, relaxing.

165
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,543
But that's different.
Why?

166
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,744
Come on. You know why.

167
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:54,247
[ Scoffs ] Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]

168
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:55,415
Why?

169
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,417
Because I'm more
of a "Mommy Guy".

170
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,652
Everyone knows that.

171
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:01,589
All right, Winston,
there's only steerage

172
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,923
on this steamer
to Calcutta.

173
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,558
Let's see what you do.

174
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,127
**

175
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,463
[ Maria cooing ]

176
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,532
[ Sighs ]

177
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,105
Hmm.

178
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,007
Welcome back.

179
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,510
[ Gasps ]
You were running
in your dream.

180
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,844
Jessica?

181
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,246
I'll go make
your next herbal tea.

182
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,281
Oh, no.
No, no, that's okay.

183
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,284
Really, between the soups
and the herbs and the nap,

184
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,453
I feel completely
refreshed.

185
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,856
[ Groans ]

186
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,357
[ Sighs ]

187
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,626
Where are you going?

188
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,293
I thought
I'd get the stroller,

189
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,295
take Maria out
for some fresh air.

190
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,131
I am sorry, Honey,
but you can't.

191
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,966
During Zuo Yue Zi,

192
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,435
the new mother can't leave
the house for a month.

193
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,437
What?
That's what it means.

194
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,440
Zuo Yue Zi --
"Sitting the Month".

195
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,276
I'm going to be here,
in your house,

196
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,279
helping you heal
the entire time.

197
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,614
30 days?

198
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,516
And 30 nights!

199
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,524
[ Refrigerator door opens ]

200
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:11,992
**

201
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,294
Ah, ah, ah!

202
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,963
The less you move
during this time,

203
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,798
the better for your pelvis.
What do you need?

204
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,466
Just a glass
of ice water.

205
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,535
I burned my tongue
on the tea.

206
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,704
I'm sorry,
but cold food and drink

207
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,206
aren't allowed
during Zuo Yue Zi.

208
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,209
They're a shock to the system.
Here's breakfast.

209
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:32,212
Oh. The same soup?

210
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,346
Every day?

211
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,682
Oh, there are
small changes.

212
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,918
Next week, we introduce
White Dahlia Root.

213
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,754
Jessica,
I so appreciate

214
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,422
you wanting to
"Sit the Month" with me,

215
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,593
but I can't let you do this
for 29 more days.

216
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,860
It's too much trouble.

217
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,429
Nonsense. What else
do I have going on?

218
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,098
Off the top of my head --
your husband...

219
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,432
He's fine.
...your boys...

220
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,867
Perfectly fine.
...your book?

221
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,203
What book?
You are my priority right now,

222
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,038
and I want to finish
what we started.

223
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,372
It's called
"Sitting the Month",

224
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,774
not "Sitting the Day
and a Half".

225
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,375
Yeah, I kind of wish

226
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,745
you had translated that
in the beginning.

227
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:09,549
Please, just let me give you
this gift, as a friend.

228
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,286
Okay, but do you think
I could have some

229
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,288
fruit for breakfast
instead of the soup?

230
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:23,530
**

231
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,865
You can have this
in four hours

232
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,700
after it's warmed
to room temperature.

233
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:30,303
**

234
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:33,073
There you are.
Come on. Time to work out.

235
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,541
What do you think
I'm doing?

236
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,043
Man: Work it.

237
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,278
Tae Bo, the revolutionary
combination

238
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,913
of Taekwondo and boxing.

239
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,481
Well, what about
weight lifting?

240
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,084
We can't just jump to the pump.
It's not safe.

241
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,953
We have to master
our body weight.

242
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,122
Before I lift iron,
I got to know how to lift Eddie.

243
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,491
Work it.

244
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,962
Do it again! Go!

245
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,263
Whoa! Tae Bo!

246
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,966
The revolutionary combination
of Taekwondo and boxing.

247
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:02,235
Yeah, it's a great workout.
Grab a seat.

248
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,570
My sweatbands
are in the wash.

249
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,338
Hey, can I ask you guys
something?

250
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,408
Evan said he's more of
a "Mom Guy", which...

251
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,410
[ Scoffs ]
...I mean, that's crazy, right?

252
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,812
Evan's not a "Mom Guy".

253
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,180
He's definitely a "Mom Guy".
Total "Mom Guy".

254
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,682
Really,
you guys know it, too?!

255
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,350
So it's not your mom
hogging Evan.

256
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:21,021
It's Evan choosing to hang out
with her instead of me.

257
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,856
Dad, we're working out here,
so...

258
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,191
Okay, with your mom away,

259
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,194
I've got 30 days to turn Evan
into a "Dad Guy".

260
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:31,431
All we need is some classic,
all-American father-son QT.

261
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,767
[ Air rushing ]

262
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,769
Isn't this great?

263
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,771
Since we both love our hair,
I got this attachment

264
00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:41,274
so we could style side-by-side
and, you know, bond.

265
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,176
Maybe turn you into
a "Dad Guy".

266
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,377
What?

267
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,479
I said I thought
we could bond!

268
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,149
What?!

269
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,318
[ Click ]
[ Rushing stops ]

270
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,320
Sorry. I was just saying
how nice it is

271
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,988
that we both love
styling our hair.

272
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,356
We have that in common.

273
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,525
I don't style my hair.
Of course you do.

274
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,527
I just wash and go.
[ Gasps ]

275
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,163
Wow.
You're blessed.

276
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,431
Just like Mom.

277
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,067
Mind if I go read?

278
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,402
Churchill is entering
his crotchety phase.

279
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,338
His jowls are about
to come in.

280
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:17,677
**

281
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,680
If I can't take a shower,
can I at least wash my hair?

282
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:21,749
Please?

283
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,216
Sorry, no.

284
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,386
Bathing of any kind is
prohibited during Zuo Yue Zi.

285
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,056
But...why?
[ Sighs ]

286
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,224
Some say it's to keep
your good bacteria,

287
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,226
others say it's to
maintain body heat.

288
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,562
I'm not sure which,
but I'm not gonna argue

289
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:38,598
with thousands of years
of Chinese culture, are you?

290
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,769
I mean, no.
I guess not.

291
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:44,772
But --
Sounds like you're arguing
with Chinese culture.

292
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:48,608
I don't ask you why you kiss
the Blarney Stone, do I?

293
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,677
[ Chuckles ]
She's got you there.

294
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,513
Now, now, it's only natural
to question

295
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,615
something that
is so powerful.

296
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:59,452
So I got you the latest issue
of "Sitting the Month-ly".

297
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:04,091
The crosswords are super easy.
Every answer is "baby".

298
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:07,460
[ Maria fussing ]
I'm gonna go put Maria
down for a nap.

299
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,697
Okay, Jessica is up
to something.

300
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,699
I just can't
figure out what.

301
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,368
I mean, she's being way too
nice, she won't leave me alone,

302
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,138
she's not talking about her
favorite topic -- herself.

303
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,808
I don't know what's going on
with her, but I'm worried.

304
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,811
Well, I'm not.
I'm loving this.

305
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,980
Nice Jessica,
free child care,

306
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,882
barely having
to chew your food.

307
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:33,086
Plus, I'm down to
my pre-baby weight.

308
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,721
Pre-Nicole.
[ Laughs ]

309
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,924
This is the life, man.
[ Chuckles ]

310
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,291
[ Birds chirping ]

311
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,627
[ Sighs ] Watching all that
Tae Bo made me thirsty.

312
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,629
Restorative smoothie?
Hell yeah, bro.

313
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,432
Got to get that muscle repair.
Rip, tear, repair.

314
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,767
Care to add
some watermelon?

315
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,603
[ Grunts ]

316
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:53,673
We got to start
working out.

317
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,009
Since our salon session
was such a bust,

318
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,345
I thought we'd try an activity
we both could enjoy --

319
00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,512
storm chasing.

320
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,448
[ Birds chirping ]

321
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,251
Can we do this
another time?

322
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,587
Maybe when there's
a cloud in the sky.

323
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,090
I just got a 3,000-piece puzzle
of the Cliffs of Dover.

324
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,625
Or as Winston called them,
"Britain's Front Gate".

325
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,561
A puzzle?!
I love puzzles!

326
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:19,532
[ Scoffs ]

327
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,301
All these cliffs
look alike.

328
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:24,304
[ Sighs ]
That's the fun part.

329
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,606
You know, I can
finish this myself.

330
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,941
Probably faster.

331
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,877
No way.
This is our quality time.

332
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,212
Just you and me.

333
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,780
Stop! You don't
need to force it!

334
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,448
I'm not.
I like spending time with you.

335
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,952
I was talking
about the pieces.

336
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:43,190
Oh, yeah,
um...me too.

337
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,692
[ Sighs ]

338
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:52,199
**

339
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:55,535
[ Breathing heavily ]

340
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:59,239
"Sorry,
cold air is forbidden".

341
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,740
She turned off the AC?

342
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,475
Yeah, isn't it great?

343
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:06,479
Oh, this heat is working
wonders for my joints.

344
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,481
Check it out.
[ Exhales sharply ]

345
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,317
Torpedo squats.

346
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,320
You don't touch another
woman's AC in Florida.

347
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,924
That's it.
I'm taking a shower.

348
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,259
[ Screams ]
I knew you'd be tempted.

349
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,261
Also, shh.

350
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,965
Screaming isn't allowed
during Zuo Yue Zi.

351
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,035
Jessica, I love that you
want to help me,

352
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,537
but this has gone too far.
You need to leave.

353
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,939
Sorry, I can't do that.

354
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:35,275
Why?
What is going on with you?

355
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,344
I know you.
You're my best friend.

356
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,512
Something's going on.
Just talk to me.

357
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,181
Fine.

358
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,017
**

359
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,519
I didn't want to
tell you this, but...

360
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,089
you are very weak.

361
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:52,092
You hit your Zuo Yue Zi wall
very early.

362
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,461
Most people don't break
until Day 20.

363
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,929
Jessica,
you are acting crazy.

364
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,597
It's way past
your nap time.

365
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,034
Why don't you go lie down,
and I'll go make us some tea?

366
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,036
**

367
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,104
[ Scoffs ]

368
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,107
**

369
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,609
[ Grunts ]

370
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:13,080
[ Sighs ]

371
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,715
[ Humming ]

372
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,784
**

373
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:21,621
I added a pinch
of Swallowwort.

374
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,157
It'll help that temper!

375
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:26,893
Honey?

376
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,396
[ Gasps ]

377
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,999
**

378
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,166
We got a runner.

379
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,138
Honey?

380
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,772
Are you here?

381
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:43,510
If you come back,
I'll give you an ice cube.

382
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,079
**

383
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:49,782
[ Sighs ]

384
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,951
[ Water running ]

385
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,521
I knew it. So weak.

386
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,689
**

387
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:57,757
Aha!

388
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,492
[ Screams ]
Um...you didn't see this.

389
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,295
Everyone knows you use
leave-in conditioner, Louis.

390
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,964
Sure, but which brand?
Pantene. Have you seen Honey?

391
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,133
She escaped!

392
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,301
After four days?

393
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,137
She hit that wall
early, huh?

394
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,772
Yes, and I was doing it
the nice way --

395
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,608
rolling out the rules slowly
so she wouldn't freak out,

396
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,610
hiding her shoes
so she couldn't escape.

397
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,945
But she did escape.

398
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,947
In socks.
Like a desperate orphan.

399
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,349
Think, Louis.

400
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:25,352
If you were a weak white woman
who wanted to feel better,

401
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,986
where would you go?

402
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,221
Talbots?

403
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,624
Anyway, I'm happy you're here.
I need to talk to you.

404
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,460
You have two minutes while I
think about where to find Honey.

405
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,295
Go.
Okay, I've been
trying to turn Evan

406
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,464
into a "Dad Guy" by spending
quality time with him,

407
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,299
but it's not working.

408
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,235
And now I'm worried.
Maybe I'm not an "Evan Guy".

409
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,404
Please, you think
I'm an "Eddie Guy"?

410
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,239
You don't have to be a perfect
match with your son

411
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,974
to have a relationship
with him.

412
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,310
Hmm.
You'll find some
common ground,

413
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,911
probably when
you least expect it.

414
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:55,915
Like how Eddie and I discovered
we both like to kick anthills.

415
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,750
I don't know how
you two can do that.

416
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,586
The ants work so hard
on those hills.

417
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:03,490
My point is, there's no such
thing as "quality time".

418
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,924
Time is time.

419
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,427
Huh. Thanks.

420
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,263
You know, I never thought
about it like --
The backyard!

421
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:14,734
I bet Honey wanted to give
herself a nice hose shower.

422
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,870
[ AC unit humming ]
[ Crunching ]

423
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,375
Ah.

424
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,245
I have missed salt.

425
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,579
[ Crunching ]
Mmm.

426
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,448
Thank you for
hiding me, Jenny.

427
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,949
No problem.

428
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,619
Jessica will give up soon,
right?

429
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,088
I mean, it's nice that
she wants to help me heal,

430
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,390
but this
is just too much.

431
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,415
[ Exhales sharply ]

432
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:05,118
I'm sorry.
I only understood "Zuo Yue Zi".

433
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:08,621
It's not you who
needs to heal.

434
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,457
It's Jessica.

435
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:13,126
Why would Jessica
need to heal?

436
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,427
**

437
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,762
[ Gasps ]

438
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,864
Oh, my God.

439
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,837
[ Exhales sharply ]

440
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,340
Hey,
a new puzzle, huh?

441
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,609
[ Chuckles ]
Lot of corners on that one.

442
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,011
Only four.
Same as every puzzle.

443
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,112
[ Chuckles ]

444
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,448
Look, I'm sorry
for trying to force

445
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,450
all this quality time
on you.

446
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,952
I was just hoping to
turn you into a "Dad Guy".

447
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:44,457
I may not be a "Dad Guy",
but you're still my dad.

448
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:47,126
And it was nice of you
to do all that stuff.

449
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,296
Annoying, but nice.

450
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,797
[ Chuckles ]

451
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,300
Um, well,
if it's okay with you,

452
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,967
I'm just gonna
watch TV over here

453
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,503
while you do your thing
over there.

454
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,870
I'd like that.

455
00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:03,610
**

456
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,278
[ Crashing ]
[ Indistinct shouting ]

457
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:08,114
"Twister"?
This movie is the worst.

458
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,517
Such an inaccurate
depiction of weather.

459
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,685
That first tornado
wasn't even a supercell.

460
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:13,853
Why chase it?

461
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,355
Well, what do you expect
from a movie

462
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,524
where Bill Paxton
leaves Jami Gertz?

463
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,526
Come on.
That woman is delightful.

464
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:23,496
And a doctor!
Talk about a catch!

465
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,997
Look at this.
This is so ridiculous.

466
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,333
[ Chuckles ]
I know. I hate it.

467
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,634
[ Scoffs ]

468
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,635
[ Birds chirping ]

469
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,669
[ Door opens ]

470
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:34,173
Ha! I knew you would
come back eventually.

471
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,142
To my own home?

472
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,344
You caught me.

473
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,011
Do you know how
dangerous it is

474
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,013
to stop sitting
the month early?

475
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,682
You won't heal properly.

476
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,651
Now we need to start
all over again.

477
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,653
We do, actually.

478
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,854
Only this time,

479
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:51,491
how about you take a seat
and I make the tea, okay?

480
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,594
**

481
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,597
So, I talked to Jenny.

482
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,667
I think I know why
you're doing this.

483
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,503
Because you're broken
and I'm helping you heal.

484
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:07,173
No.
Because you need to heal.

485
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:11,378
**

486
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,380
I am so sorry.

487
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:16,383
**

488
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:19,352
Look, I know you don't want
to talk about this right now.

489
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,954
But when you do,
I'm here.

490
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,092
I need to
get over my book.

491
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:29,095
**

492
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,431
Is that it?

493
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,266
It's a good start.

494
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,369
[ Exhales sharply ]
[ Chuckles ]

495
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,204
What is this?

496
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,872
This is sangria.

497
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,974
This is how Southerners
sit the month.

498
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:45,612
**

499
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:48,315
The fruit
tastes like wine.

500
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,283
I'll make us a pitcher.

501
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:53,019
**

502
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:57,790
All right, boys,

503
00:20:57,824 --> 00:21:00,026
guess who's ready
to get his Bo on?

504
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,662
Boys?

505
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,697
[ Air rushing ]
Boys?

506
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,801
So sorry.
We should have asked.

507
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,770
We're just trying to find
our optimal workout hair.

508
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:13,606
Although, now that
we look so good,

509
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,976
it seems like kind of a waste to
ruin this hair by working out.

510
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,611
[ Chuckles ]

511
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,780
Mind if I cut in?

512
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,651
[ Chuckles ]