1 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,440 Surprise! 2 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,675 What is that? 3 00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,777 It's freedom. Now that we're buying 4 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,112 Kenny Rogers' half of the restaurant, 5 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,580 we can do whatever the heck we want. 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,049 Also, we're switching back to one-ply in the bathrooms. 7 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,450 Mm, I don't know... 8 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,819 We'll keep a roll of two-ply in the register for me and you. 9 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,921 No, not the toilet paper. 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,391 I don't know about buying back Kenny's share of the restaurant. 11 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,059 What do you mean? 12 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,260 I thought we talked about this. 13 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,895 I thought you went down to the notary 14 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,230 and got the papers signed. 15 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,665 I was going to, and then I hit that long light on 5th 16 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:32,866 and I started debating, 17 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,368 do we want to spend that kind of money right now? 18 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,770 Maybe we should find another partner to buy Kenny's half. 19 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:37,705 Share the risk. 20 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,207 Share the profits, you mean. 21 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,975 Kenny's giving us his half for pennies on the dollar. 22 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,812 It's a great deal. Hmm. You're right. 23 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,780 Mm-hmm. I'll add that to the pro column. 24 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:51,219 Pro -- I own the whole restaurant. 25 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:55,256 Con -- I own the whole restaurant. 26 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,691 You just wrote the same thing down twice. 27 00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,761 Tricky, isn't it, how the same thing can be good or bad? 28 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,096 This hasn't been very helpful. 29 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,165 Louis, you always do this. 30 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,699 You question and over-analyze 31 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,968 and then you miss out on a great opportunity 32 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,303 because you can't make up your mind. 33 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,139 Well, I like to measure twice, cut once. 34 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,206 Nothing's wrong with that. 35 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,509 No. Dumb. Me, I'm a woman of action. 36 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:18,011 You have to act first and then apologize later. 37 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,180 Like I have learned to do. 38 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,514 You never apologize. 39 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,650 I would if I had ever been wrong. 40 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,685 Listen, Louis, I know for a fact 41 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,454 that we should buy back the restaurant. 42 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:27,788 How can you be so sure? 43 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,623 Madame Xing foretold it. 44 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:30,924 Your psychic? 45 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,726 She's never steered me wrong. 46 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:36,797 Hey, a lobster tank! Fun! 47 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:39,467 Lobsters all piled on top of each other. 48 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,603 It's sad, actually. 49 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,639 I'm gonna go lie down. 50 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:49,310 (tank bubbling) 51 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,511 * Fresh off the boat 52 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,146 * I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go * 53 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,515 * If you don't know, homey, now you know * 54 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,816 * Fresh off the boat 55 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,085 * Homey, you don't know where I come from * 56 00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,620 * But I know where I'm goin' 57 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,290 * I'm fresh off the boat 58 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,725 We've got to agree on something. 59 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,627 What about Tommy Boy? 60 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,335 Please. 61 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,836 Multiplicity. 62 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,271 (all groan) 63 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,672 Eddie, whatever you do, 64 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,174 don't turn it to Regis and Kathie Lee... 65 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,309 Don't worry. 66 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:22,976 ...which I gave up for 40 days of Lent 67 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,278 to replicate the sacrifice 68 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,680 of Jesus' 40-day trip into the desert. 69 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,616 Here we go. Bible Boy is back. 70 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,518 My least favorite time of the year. 71 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:34,688 I forgive you, brothers. Love the sinners, hate the sin. 72 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,557 Louis, I just talked to Madame Xing 73 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,026 and she told me another reason why we should buy back 74 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,928 Kenny Rogers' half of the restaurant -- 75 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:45,466 I faced the exact same dilemma in a past life. 76 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,269 Could we not bring reincarnation into this, please? 77 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:52,240 Xing says I was a cartographer in the Northwest Passage 78 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,442 after the Louisiana Purchase. 79 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,211 I could have bought some pelts from a local tribe, 80 00:02:57,311 --> 00:03:00,548 but I hesitated and I froze to death. 81 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,516 Don't make the same mistake I did. 82 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,652 Yeah, but what does any of this have to do with the restaurant? 83 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,119 Oh, I think it's pretty clear. 84 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,055 The restaurant is our pelts. 85 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,358 You need to stop hesitating and buy it back 86 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,326 so we don't get iced out of a great deal. 87 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,727 (teeth grinding) 88 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,535 We are not making any big decisions in our current life 89 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,538 based on something Xing said you did in a past life. 90 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,074 (scoffs) I can't wait till I'm reincarnated. 91 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,376 I know who I'm coming back as. 92 00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:29,843 The RZA. 93 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,245 * Yeah 94 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,580 (crunch) 95 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,749 Damn, Dave, these are the best ants-on-a-log I ever had. 96 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:36,850 Thanks, Eddie RZA. 97 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:37,985 Come on, Brian. What's up, man? 98 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,720 You're acting like Antarctica over here. 99 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,655 Get your ass in the pool. It's heated. 100 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,391 Chlorine makes my skin itch. 101 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:45,593 (scoffs) Hey, yo, Ho-Ho! 102 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:49,763 Drain the pool and fill it up with meatballs. 103 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,031 The saucy ones. 104 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,633 Hell, yeah, Eddie RZA. 105 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,067 That's what I'm talkin' about. 106 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,904 That's not how reincarnation works. 107 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,773 I studied all the religions before enrolling into Jesus U. 108 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,642 (quietly) Here comes the seminar. 109 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,910 Every time we die, 110 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,678 our consciousness is reborn into another form. 111 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,214 Each life is an opportunity to improve ourselves. 112 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,350 If you do, your spirit transcends higher 113 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,218 until you reach spiritual liberation. 114 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:14,455 And I have improved through all my lives. 115 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:17,625 That's how I became the perfect being you see before you. 116 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,126 (snickers) That's bold. 117 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,260 I know. 118 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,396 In my next life, I plan on achieving 119 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,466 my ultimate spiritual form -- 120 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,635 morning mist. 121 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:31,238 That's why I know we should buy back the restaurant. 122 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,940 I learned it three lives ago 123 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,208 when I should have bought those beaver skins. 124 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,077 All right, listen, I agree with you. 125 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,712 We should buy back the restaurant. 126 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:39,980 Yes! 127 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,449 It takes you a while, Louis, but you finally get there. 128 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,917 Not because of any vision Madame Xing had. 129 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,286 Because I called Silvia at Union Savings 130 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:47,955 and had her run the numbers. 131 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,089 They're too good to pass up. 132 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,724 It doesn't make sense not to buy it. 133 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,126 So, Silvia is your Madame Xing. 134 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,995 No, Silvia is a professional 135 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,964 working in an accredited industry. 136 00:04:57,064 --> 00:05:00,901 She uses math. She has a CPA. She graduated from FSU. 137 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,603 Okay, Louis. 138 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,938 Okay. 139 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,477 Okay, I need you to sign, initial these, 140 00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:12,513 roll your thumb through some ink, and we'll be done. 141 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,649 Very unhygienic. That's why I brought my own ink. 142 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,120 We don't know if some pedophile co-signed for a van. 143 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,023 Lorenzo, what do you think I should do? 144 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,492 -Me? -Him? 145 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:25,726 Yes, what's your opinion on this? 146 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,260 Should I buy the other half of the restaurant? 147 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,662 Well, who owns it now? 148 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,131 Louis, we decided this already. 149 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,934 Pee or get off the toilet. 150 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,969 I sit 'cause I don't like having my back to the door 151 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,104 when I'm exposed. 152 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,171 I won't tell. 153 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,707 I'm just saying, this is a big decision. 154 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,141 Maybe we should sleep on it. 155 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,877 We just woke up from sleep! It's morning! 156 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,379 I'm sorry, but I'm holding off. 157 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,347 -Ohh! -No thumbs today, Lorenzo. 158 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,553 What happened to all the lobsters? 159 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,322 AMY: Matthew? Aren't you supposed to be at work? 160 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:56,390 It's my day off! 161 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,725 I thought that was Thursday. 162 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,059 -I'm sick! -Watch it! 163 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,128 As soon as Inspector Gadget gets out of here, 164 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,863 I'm gonna drive you guys all to the Gulf. 165 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,798 (chuckles) Except you. 166 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,767 You, I'm gonna keep. 167 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,806 Evan, cover your eyes and ears. We're gonna watch Baywatch. 168 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,576 Sorry, you can't. I'm taping Regis and Kathie Lee. 169 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,546 I plan to catch up on all the episodes I miss once Lent ends. 170 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,013 Doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice 171 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,749 if you're gonna watch the episodes eventually. 172 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,784 The shows will be irrelevant by then. 173 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,419 That's the sacrifice. 174 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,520 So now we have to suffer 175 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,221 so you can feel like you're superior to us? 176 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,190 Not superior, just better. 177 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:34,061 Ugh! I cannot take 40 days of this. 178 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,596 Lent Evan is the worst. 179 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,264 We need to take him down a peg. 180 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,867 I don't know. I think I'm done with all that stuff. 181 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,101 I'm maturing. 182 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,136 You farted into a Ziploc bag this morning 183 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,305 and put it in the freezer to see if it would freeze. 184 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,874 Oh, yeah, that's right. 185 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,209 Yeah, cool, let's mess with Evan. 186 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:54,648 ** 187 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,783 Hey. 188 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:59,352 Louis, I understand you've had some trouble 189 00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,389 making a decision and I've been pushing you. 190 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,294 I know you're impulsive 191 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,062 and I appreciate you coming to apologize -- 192 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,899 Oh, no. Hey. No one is apologizing. 193 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,602 What? How do -- You aren't? 194 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:18,238 No! I found someone else to push you instead. 195 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,441 I flew in Madame Xing from D.C.! 196 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,244 She was 10 minutes late picking me up at the airport. 197 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,579 But I had a vision she would be. 198 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:28,315 So, I had a quick cigar outside the terminal. 199 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,383 She'll give you a reading and tell you 200 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,186 how many lives you've spent trapped by indecision 201 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,689 so you can finally overcome your weakness. 202 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,660 (teeth grinding) 203 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,665 You paid to fly your psychic in to give me a reading? 204 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,134 Of course not. I used our credit card points. 205 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,769 I was gonna use those to take the family 206 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,604 to either Alaska or Hawaii. 207 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,272 You've been debating that trip for years. 208 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,507 If you had made a decision, 209 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,510 then I wouldn't have the free miles to fly her out here. 210 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,145 Unbelievable! 211 00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,813 Louis, I'm just doing this to help you 212 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,516 see that buying back the restaurant is a good idea. 213 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:05,052 Jessica, can I have some ice water? 214 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,587 I have the cigar breath. 215 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,089 Of course, Madame Xing. 216 00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:13,961 Don't open it. One of Eddie's experiments. 217 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:16,864 This is ridiculous. 218 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,499 I'm not gonna put our future in the hands of your psychic. 219 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,101 She has a gift, Louis. 220 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,270 Her guidance about my book deal was dead on, 221 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,905 she was right about Honey having a boy... 222 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,306 That's a 50/50 guess. 223 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,475 ...and she said that your restaurant would be successful 224 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,710 when we first moved here. 225 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,012 Well, how do I know, like her, you're not making that up? 226 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,715 (sighs) She also predicted that you would be hesitant. 227 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,216 That's why I bought her an open-ended ticket. 228 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:39,152 Yeah, she's not leaving until you let her give you a reading. 229 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,355 My first time to Florida. 230 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,392 Gonna do SeaWorld, Disney, swamp boat ride, 231 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,561 maybe take a class at the community college. 232 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,129 Hmm. 233 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,230 The longer you resist, 234 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,365 the more fun she'll see in her future. 235 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:55,936 What are you doing? 236 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,138 We're throwing out our underwear so we won't be tempted. 237 00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,472 Tempted? By what? 238 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,942 After you left, we turned on Regis and Kathie Lee. 239 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,376 Usually, we'd never watch that crap. 240 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,512 (gasps) But they did a really powerful segment 241 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,714 on the true meaning of Lent, 242 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,215 and it convinced us to give it a try. 243 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,752 Regis and Kathie Lee are giving up underwear for 40 days. 244 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:12,886 So we're gonna try, too. 245 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,155 Why on Earth would Regis give up underwear?! 246 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,256 Kathie Lee maybe. 247 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,158 So they could be more like Jesus. 248 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,426 Because he didn't wear underwear. 249 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,394 Excuse me! Jesus wore underwear. 250 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,163 Not according to them, he didn't. 251 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,732 They said it was too hot in the desert. 252 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,934 Plus, even if he did own a pair, 253 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,069 you know he'd lend them to the less fortunate. 254 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,971 You guys are just messing with me. 255 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,040 Oh, yeah? How many times does it mention underwear 256 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,574 in the Bible you're always reading? 257 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,345 And you call yourself a student of religion. 258 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:41,081 If you don't believe us, watch the tape. 259 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,917 Aha! You're trying to make me break Lent. 260 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,319 I should've known. You never even watched the show. 261 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,622 Yes, we did. Oh, yeah, then who was the guest? 262 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:49,890 Reba McEntire. Reba McEntire. 263 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,291 Ugh, that sounds right. 264 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,260 Come on, let's go find a super-cool homeless kid 265 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,062 who needs underwear. 266 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:03,136 I'm trying to look back, but there's a spirit in the way. 267 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,638 You lost a family member? 268 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,140 Yes, I've lost a relative. Everyone has. 269 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,276 I haven't. 270 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,478 Louis, I told you she has a gift. 271 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,046 Stop fighting it. 272 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,415 Something else is coming into focus. 273 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:17,484 I see a past life. 274 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:20,587 -Hmm. -One where you are a turtle. 275 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,255 -(scoffs) -Yes, that sounds right. 276 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,392 He makes decisions like a turtle -- Slow. 277 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:26,927 Okay, I don't see how anything you're seeing 278 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,061 is supposed to help me. 279 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,563 Madame Xing can't help what she sees. 280 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:31,965 She's on a higher level. 281 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:35,769 Yes. Now give me those nice hands. 282 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,106 (teeth grinding) 283 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,809 (crack) Ow! 284 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,110 I think I broke my tooth! 285 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:47,014 In dreams, a broken tooth symbolizes a hidden frustration. 286 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,149 Not hidden, lady! 287 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,752 I'm going to Marvin, see if he can fix this. 288 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,987 Decisive action. That's progress. (door slams) 289 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,692 Oh, yeah, you cracked your enamel. 290 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,493 You've been grinding your teeth. 291 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:01,628 I'm a little stressed. 292 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:02,863 Ah. Same. 293 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,765 I'm meeting Honey for lunch. 294 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,166 We've been having a major battle 295 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,201 about whether to circumcise the baby. 296 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,803 She doesn't want to? 297 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,005 No, she says there's a lot of sensation in that part. 298 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,041 Nerve endings. How does she know? 299 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:18,211 Anyway, just lie back and enjoy the gas, Lou. 300 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,613 (gas hissing) I fought in the Navy. 301 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:23,550 I can't let it come out that I didn't circumcise my boy. 302 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,853 I go to reunions. It's gonna come up. 303 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,321 You know, there was a guy in our unit that, uh, 304 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,824 well, he was, you know, natural. 305 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,025 (eagle cries) 306 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,494 MADAME XING: I see a past life. 307 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,965 One where you are a turtle. 308 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,901 LOUIS: Pro -- we get to the other side of the road. 309 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,170 Con -- we die. 310 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,472 Maybe we should go for it. 311 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,841 It's been two hours, and not one car. 312 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,243 Although, it just increases the odds 313 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:51,779 that one is about to come. 314 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,146 It's too dangerous. 315 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,481 Although... 316 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,683 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 317 00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:57,717 Where are you going? 318 00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,219 What -- What are you doing? 319 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,353 Carl, don't just -- 320 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,621 (crunch) 321 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,756 (gasps) 322 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,692 Aaaaaaaah! 323 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,727 And what's it gonna be like when my son and I 324 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,063 go to the sauna for the first time? 325 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,165 (Tommy laughs) 326 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:16,636 * Fat guy in a little coat * 327 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,271 What is this movie? 328 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,307 I can't follow any of this. 329 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,742 (muffled) There might be some-- Ugh. 330 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,177 [ Normal voice ] There might be something 331 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,478 to this reincarnation stuff after all! 332 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,180 Madame Xing said you'd come around. 333 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,281 As always, it takes you a while, 334 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,749 but eventually you see that I am right. 335 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,019 No, actually, you were wrong. I had a vision. 336 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,586 I was a turtle, and this other tur-- 337 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,823 -You had a vision? -Yeah, I was a turtle -- 338 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,124 I've never had a vision! 339 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,960 You don't even believe. I'm almost morning mist! 340 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,095 I should be having a vision. Not you. 341 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,530 How did you have a vision? 342 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,367 EMERY: How's it going? 343 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,936 You finding any underwear mentions in the Bible? 344 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,938 Got another tape of Regis. 345 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:53,140 Day 2 of them not wearing underwear for Lent. 346 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,741 Regis still found a way to work in 347 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,476 that he graduated from Notre Dame. 348 00:12:56,576 --> 00:13:02,549 ** 349 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:03,951 Why is it so important 350 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,819 for a son to look like his father down there? 351 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,255 When will anyone see you side by side? 352 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:09,489 In the sauna. 353 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,224 Just snip the kid already. 354 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,660 If he's anything like his mother, he'll be a lazy cleaner. 355 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,829 Now gas me. 356 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:16,964 -What? -Jessica? 357 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,966 I want a vision like the one Louis had. 358 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:20,667 So, ergh, ergh, ergh. 359 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,937 Uh, I just can't give gas to people for the fun of it. 360 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,339 I swore an ethical code of responsibility. 361 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:30,310 Well, then, have Honey crank the dial and you turn around. 362 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,379 Babe, you game? 363 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,347 Sure, works for me. 364 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,916 (sighs) 365 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:39,586 (gas hissing) 366 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,754 I don't feel anything. Turn it higher. 367 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:42,890 It's all the way up. 368 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,091 What is going on? 369 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,258 I don't get it. 370 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,494 That amount of nitrous could knock out a rhino. 371 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:50,931 Are you giving me the cheap stuff? 372 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,333 (scoffs) I thought we were friends. 373 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,136 Sub-par gas... 374 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,440 -Lunch? -I could eat. 375 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:06,379 Delayed reaction. Sub-par gas, indeed. 376 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,751 JESSICA: It worked. A vision. 377 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:16,056 I've achieved the ultimate level of being -- morning mist. 378 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:20,160 Ooh, does baby like the new humidifier? 379 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,929 Marvin? Get out of my mist! 380 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,631 Why are you talking like that? 381 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:28,635 Who's my little pookie-wookie-wookie-wookie? 382 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:29,903 No! Oh. 383 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,871 I've come back as... 384 00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:36,076 Honey and Marvin's white baby?! 385 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,280 Help. I am Jessica Huang. 386 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,083 I am supposed to be reincarnated as morning mist, 387 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,685 not in this white-baby cage! 388 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,388 Oh! A party. 389 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,923 Okay, listen up. 390 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,092 Before anyone gets too attached to me, 391 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,094 I am not supposed to be here. 392 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,363 I was reborn in the wrong body. 393 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,066 Okay, time for your circumcision. 394 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,368 What?! I'm a boy? 395 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,370 No way. I am out of here. 396 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,673 (baby cries) 397 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:09,076 Ahh, I can't do anything! 398 00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,178 But I'm a woman of action! 399 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,813 Let's talk about this. 400 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,217 Don't just act, weigh the pros and cons. 401 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,854 No! 402 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,424 So I was right! 403 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,126 Your vision showed you that debating things 404 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,394 is better than acting first. 405 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,262 No, it showed me the exact opposite. 406 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,364 How can you say that? You got circumcised! 407 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,400 You wanted people to not rush in and mull. 408 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,402 You didn't let me finish. 409 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,439 You know what? That wasn't that bad. 410 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,975 I feel faster. Streamlined. 411 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,278 Madame Xing, thank God! 412 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,047 Release me from this vision! 413 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,681 What a little cutie! 414 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,286 Why are you holding my husband's nice hand? 415 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,755 I still can't believe how quickly you guys got married. 416 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,657 What? (baby gurgles) 417 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,926 I just threw up. 418 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,529 You let a piece of prime meat hit the market, 419 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,165 it's gonna get snatched. 420 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,367 Xing, you viper! 421 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,902 As soon as I can walk, I'm coming for you. 422 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,440 (sternly) Boys, use napkins. 423 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,475 ALL: Yes, Mommy Xing. 424 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,844 Well, I don't hate the discipline. 425 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:20,680 (sighs) 426 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,449 I can't believe your mom isn't here. 427 00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:25,018 She's the one who convinced me to snip little Dan. 428 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,320 Dan?! I know. 429 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,457 I wish she and Madame Xing had never gone to the beach. 430 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:31,891 Such a freak accident. 431 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,861 They were debating whether to play volleyball or go kayaking 432 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:38,431 when that rogue wave surprised Mom and swept her out to sea. 433 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,867 I married Madame Xing? 434 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,302 I was right. 435 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,172 If I had acted quickly instead of debating, 436 00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,375 I would have lived instead of being eaten by the ocean. 437 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,676 Okay, this is ridiculous. 438 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,411 We're debating nitrous-gas dreams. 439 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,712 What about reality? 440 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,314 Okay, let's talk reality. 441 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,548 You and I made a decision 442 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,784 to buy back Kenny Rogers' half of the restaurant 443 00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,519 and now you get all wishy-washy? 444 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:00,987 Well, maybe without Kenny Rogers 445 00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,822 and Michael Bolton's names on the sign, 446 00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:03,990 people would stop coming in. 447 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,558 Or maybe they wouldn't. I don't know. 448 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,427 I just wanted more time to think it through. 449 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,596 Why do you have to talk everything to death? 450 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,331 At least I don't act without thinking. 451 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,032 You bought a lobster tank on a whim! 452 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,202 That thing is beautiful! It's empty! 453 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,737 I don't know where Matthew or the lobsters went! 454 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,875 How can we both be right? We're saying opposite things. 455 00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,247 That's why I couldn't follow it. 456 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,458 That makes a lot of sense. 457 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,093 We do work well together. 458 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,129 You can't argue with success. 459 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:18,965 Insightful. 460 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:19,999 Maybe in your next life, 461 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,001 you will come back as morning mist. 462 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,776 So what do you want to do about the restaurant? 463 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,078 (sighs deeply) Well, I looked at my list, 464 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,981 and after carefully weighing the pros and cons, 465 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,483 I think we should buy back 466 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:37,950 Kenny Rogers' half of the restaurant. 467 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,452 Are you sure that's what you want? 468 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,453 I'm sure. 469 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,555 I'm glad. 470 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,425 Because I already signed the papers with Lorenzo. 471 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,627 What? I acted before thinking, 472 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,128 but that's what you love about me! 473 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,297 When did you do this? 474 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,631 Early on. Very early. 475 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,400 I stopped Lorenzo in the parking lot 476 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,168 as he was leaving Cattleman's. 477 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,404 Signed the papers on the hood of his car. 478 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,271 I Yang-ed it. 479 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,039 Then why fly in Madame Xing? 480 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,574 Because you were so against it, 481 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,075 I thought she could convince you. 482 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,178 I didn't know that Morning Mist over here 483 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,579 was sitting on the Yin-Yang key. 484 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,014 Why did you tell me now? 485 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,183 Because now you agree with me. 486 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:16,989 Dear Jesus, is it true they said on Regis and Kathie Lee 487 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,325 that you didn't wear underwear? 488 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:21,428 If I watch, I break Lent, but I need to know. 489 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,796 Please, just give me a sign. 490 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,932 I feel bad. 491 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,600 My heart. 492 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,703 There was no segment about Jesus' underwear. 493 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,572 We made it all up. 494 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,174 You work in mysterious ways, you all-knowing shepherd. 495 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,309 We're sorry. 496 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,044 It's just that you get so unbearable during Lent. 497 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,046 That's why we tried to get you to break. 498 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,014 But you got to forgive us, right? 499 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,216 Your religion says so. 500 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,017 God forgives unconditionally. 501 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:46,886 But I don't. 502 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,556 I tell Mommy unless you make it up to me. 503 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,991 Good morning! I am Regis Philbin. 504 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,227 And I'm Kathie Lee Gifford. 505 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:57,063 I don't want to be Kathie Lee. Can't we both be Regis? 506 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,064 Don't be ridiculous. 507 00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,666 America can't handle two Regises. 508 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,401 Now, do it like I wrote it. 509 00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,004 We got a great show for you this morning. 510 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,439 Reba McEntire's here. 511 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,907 Caught her sound check. 512 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,877 You're in for a treat, America, so don't go anywhere. 513 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,280 Oh, what are we watching? 514 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,014 Eddie and Emery are acting out a fake episode 515 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,215 of Regis and Kathie Lee I wrote. 516 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,417 Great. 517 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:18,451 Where's Dad? 518 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,219 Oh, he's Yin-ing out. 519 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,422 He's making a pro and con list 520 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:23,990 about whether he's going to speak to me again. 521 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,125 It'll take him a while, but he'll come around eventually. 522 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,427 EDDIE: Did you see this? 523 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,262 Some disturbing news out of Buffalo. 524 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,564 A truck jack-knifed off the interstate, 525 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,267 killing 50 cattle and a hitchhiker. 526 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,402 I hitchhiked once. 527 00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:36,869 (gasps) Kathie Lee! 528 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,271 This is good. 529 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,539 I know. 530 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,641 EMERY (defensively): Reg, it was the '60s! 531 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,814 Your face is red as a lobster. 532 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,083 I should throw you in the tank at the restaurant. 533 00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,184 God knows there's room. 534 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:55,154 I was at Disney all day! I met Goofy. 535 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,256 Did you try and kill Mrs. Goofy 536 00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,292 so you could have him all for yourself? 537 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,294 What are you talking about? 538 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,261 I had a vision. 539 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:03,463 You let me die, 540 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:06,132 and then you stole my husband. 541 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:07,133 You're fired, Xing. 542 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:09,469 But I'm your psychic. You need me! 543 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,970 I'll find a new psychic. 544 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,271 One who's local 545 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,574 and on anti-depressants to squelch her sex drive. 546 00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:18,645 I see you rethinking this after a good night's sleep. 547 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:23,650 Mm, I see you walking back to D.C. 548 00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:32,492 -- Captions by VITA --