1
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:03,337
JESSICA: It was Christmas time
once again

2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,739
for the people
of Jessica Town.

3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,576
The tree was felled
and trimmed.

4
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:12,946
The widow Koko was baking
her famous gingerbread cookies.

5
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:15,683
Even the village playhouse
was --

6
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"Titanic"?!

7
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,453
Oh, uh, sorry.

8
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,455
I just can't wait for
"Titanic" to come out.

9
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,890
I've been a big Leo fan
ever since

10
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"What's Eating
Gilbert Grape."

11
00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,127
I really believed
he was a --

12
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,961
anyway,
he was really good.

13
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EVAN: You should turn
that extra train station

14
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into an orphanage.

15
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,634
Why would
I need an orphanage?

16
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,437
There are no unwanted children
in Jessica Town.

17
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Thanks to my steady hand

18
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and harsh, but fair,
management style,

19
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everything is perfect.

20
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,944
If only
it were this easy

21
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to whip a real neighborhood
into shape for Christmas.

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(all shouting)

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Order! Order! Order!

24
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Tensions run high
this time of year,

25
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,122
but that's why the HOA

26
00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:56,657
elected a Christmas committee
chairperson.

27
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,893
Jessica Huang,
the floor is yours.

28
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Lisa, I count 14 plastic
reindeer on your roof,

29
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including three Rudolph.

30
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Lose some deer.

31
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Amanda, you bring store-bought
to a cookie swap,

32
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you go home empty-handed.

33
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How could you even tell?

34
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I can taste the laziness.
We all can.

35
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Deidre,
jolly up your eggnog.

36
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No one should have
to drink a quart of cream

37
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to get a buzz.

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What night
is caroling?

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You really
want to carol again?

40
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Remember what happened
last year?

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(off-key) * A partridge
in a pear tree *

42
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,323
* On the second day
of Christmas *
* When I'm singing up here,
you all should sing *

43
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* My true love
gave to me *
(deeper voice)
* Down here

44
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Christmas is not the time
for mediocrity.

45
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Oh, actually,
I have some great news.

46
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My college roommate's marriage
is disintegrating,

47
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so Holly's gonna stay with us
this Christmas.

48
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She teaches
performance and movement

49
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at an art school,

50
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and she's offered

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to direct the caroling
this year.

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(all murmur)

53
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Wow, good luck to Holly.

54
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Maybe she can make
some figgy pudding

55
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,516
out of a bunch
of rotten figs!

56
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,653
What I'm saying
is that you're all real bad.

57
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,689
**

58
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:02,890
* Fresh off the boat

59
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,525
* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

60
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,694
* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

61
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* Fresh off the boat

62
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* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

63
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* But I know where I'm goin'

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* I'm fresh off the boat

65
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,005
**

66
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,173
Guess who booked passage

67
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,809
on the White Star Line's
ill-fated maiden voyage?

68
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,511
All aboard!
(imitates foghorn)

69
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:24,712
(chuckles)

70
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,848
I got tickets
to the "Titanic" premiere!

71
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:28,716
Who's in?

72
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,318
Another period drama?

73
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,052
Remember how hard
you tried to sell me

74
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,321
on "Remains of the Day"?

75
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,022
No, thanks.

76
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,257
Sorry, Dad.

77
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,325
I'm reading a book
about the Titanic now

78
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and don't want
to spoil the ending.

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I can't. I'm meeting
Nicole for coffee.

80
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I'm thinking of
getting mine...iced.

81
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Boys, this is an event.

82
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Missing "Titanic"
would be unthinkable.

83
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,106
**

84
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,074
(sighs)

85
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,209
Ma, do you
want to see a movie?

86
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A lot of people die.

87
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3 hours and 14 minutes.

88
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(laughs)

89
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Ah, is that your
Lao Ban Santa costume?

90
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It's your Christmas
tradition.

91
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So, any interest
in seeing "Titanic"?

92
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You do love
others' misfortune.

93
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Eh, if I wanted to watch
white people sink a boat,

94
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I'd watch
"Gilligan's Island."

95
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Besides, I have my own disaster
to deal with.

96
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,238
Oh, come on.
Your hair looks great.

97
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I was talking about
caroling.

98
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Oh.

99
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,811
* Eight maids a milking

100
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* Seven swans a swimming

101
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* Six geese a laying

102
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* Five golden rings

103
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* Four calling birds

104
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* Three French hens

105
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* Two turtle doves

106
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* And a partridge
in a pear *

107
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* Tree

108
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HOLLY: Great job!

109
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Guys, you put me down on "pear"
instead of "tree."

110
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But, hey,
that's why we rehearse.

111
00:03:58,872 --> 00:03:59,940
Holly.

112
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,909
Jessica Huang --
HOA Christmas chair.

113
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That was amazing.

114
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It's fun!
So much positive energy.

115
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Unlike my marriage.

116
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Mm.

117
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,249
So, I was thinking
this year,

118
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we would sing
at every house

119
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and then end with a grand finale
in the cul-de-sac.

120
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I thought you didn't
want to carol.
I didn't,

121
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,091
until you flew in
the Puerto Rican
Maria von Trapp.

122
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,627
A-Actually,
my mom's Canadian,

123
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,295
and my father's
Syrian-Jewish,

124
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,096
but raised in Brazil.
Mm.

125
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Or maybe
you're from Heaven,

126
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because this is
a Christmas miracle.

127
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Aw, it's nothing.

128
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The only challenge is,

129
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is working with
so many people.

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So thin the herd.

131
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Hold auditions

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and cut the people
who are not worthy.

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Like her.

134
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**

135
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No, no!

136
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We can make it work
with everyone.

137
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Come on,
it's supposed to be fun.

138
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It is a visual burden
for people who open doors

139
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to see more than
six singers.

140
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I don't think
that's true.

141
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Make the cuts, Holly.

142
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Snip-snip, Lisa.

143
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**

144
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,664
(indistinct conversations)

145
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:57,865
(imitates foghorn)

146
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,800
Keep it moving, lady!

147
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,469
Louis?

148
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:02,503
Honey.

149
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,338
Uh, sorry about
the foghorn sound.

150
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,506
I just excited for Leo.

151
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:06,540
Oh. (laughs)

152
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,009
Is Marvin here?
No, he's not.

153
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,178
And would you mind
not telling him you saw me?

154
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I promised I'd wait

155
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,547
till "Titanic"
comes out on video

156
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,248
so we can watch it together
at home.

157
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,584
He won't see it
in the theater?

158
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,519
He was in the Navy,
and he's really worried

159
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,488
about watching a ship
go down in public.

160
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,322
I hate
going behind his back,

161
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,857
but I just couldn't wait.

162
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,059
I mean, missing "Titanic"
would be

163
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unthinkable!
Unthinkable!

164
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Oh!
Ah!

165
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(both laugh)

166
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Don't worry.

167
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Unlike the supposedly
water-tight compartments

168
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inside Titanic's hull,

169
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my lips are sealed.

170
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(chuckles)

171
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(mid-tempo music plays)

172
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,710
Why'd you pick
this place?

173
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,379
It's way outside
my preferred bike radius.

174
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,014
What?
They have great coffee.

175
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The beans are, like,
extra roasted or whatever.

176
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:50,884
Also...

177
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,086
Jackie.

178
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,087
Who Jackie?

179
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,088
(thumping)

180
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,891
(grunts)
Blend, you piece of crap!

181
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,793
She doesn't take any guff
from machines.

182
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,429
Cute, right?

183
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,464
I've been coming here
every day for two weeks,

184
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,799
and yesterday,

185
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,601
she started doing this.

186
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,238
* Yeah
A smiley.

187
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,607
I knew this day
would come.

188
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,975
You need my help
with a girl.

189
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,309
So, what do I do?

190
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,645
Uh, should I go say hi?

191
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,079
Nah,
that'll seem desperate.

192
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,549
Just sit here and give off
casual, confident vibes.

193
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,651
You know,
laugh a little,

194
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,786
but not too much because
she'll think we're together.

195
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,255
(laughs)

196
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,290
Yeah, see?
That's too much.

197
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,159
If you want to sit,
you have to order a drink.

198
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,126
Store policy.

199
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,595
Spot me some cash?

200
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,329
Sorry. I'm broke.

201
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,434
So, I hear Cupid
dipped his arrow in coffee

202
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,636
and struck someone
square in the ol' pumper.

203
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,138
Yeah, yeah.
You bring your wallet?

204
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,641
EVAN: * I really
need you tonight *

205
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,645
* Forever's
gonna start tonight *

206
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,914
* Forever's
gonna start to *

207
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,284
* Once upon a time,
I was falling in love *

208
00:06:57,384 --> 00:07:00,488
* Now I'm only falling apart

209
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,625
* There's nothing I can do

210
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:08,361
* A total eclipse
of the heart *

211
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:12,600
(applause)

212
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,969
Bonnie Tyler
takes it out of me!

213
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,371
Next --
uh, Jessica Huang.

214
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:20,941
(sighs)

215
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,643
Get ready to feel.

216
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,044
I didn't bring any Kleenex,

217
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,713
so when the tears come,

218
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,981
just use your sleeves.

219
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:35,689
(plays "My Heart Will Go On"
on recorder)

220
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:47,300
* Every night in my dreams

221
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:52,673
* I see you, I feel you

222
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:57,578
* That is how I know you

223
00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,247
* Go on

224
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,752
* Near, far

225
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:09,089
* Wherever you are

226
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:15,062
* I believe that
the heart does *

227
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,899
* Go on

228
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,601
**

229
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:24,738
* We'll stay

230
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:29,009
* Forever this way

231
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:33,380
* You are safe in my heart

232
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,050
* And my heart will

233
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:43,356
* Go on and on

234
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,594
**

235
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,362
Merry Christmas to all.

236
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,531
All right, let me first
start off by saying

237
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:52,600
you all were so great.

238
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,934
I really wish the human eye

239
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,469
could process more than
six people in a door frame,

240
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,471
but apparently it can't.

241
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,542
(all murmuring)
JESSICA: Ah.

242
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,444
Ah!
Evan you made it!

243
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,380
Vocal rest. Respect.

244
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,451
There must be
some mistake.

245
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,220
My name's
not on the list.

246
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,088
I'm sorry.
You didn't make the cut.

247
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,124
**

248
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:22,896
I didn't make the cut?
But I hit three octaves!

249
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,265
Did you hear me
ascend the ladder?

250
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,968
I climbed up over Celine.

251
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,738
I stepped on the shoulders
of that French-Canadian angel,

252
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:31,805
and I kissed the heavens!

253
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,507
Jessica,
you're a wonderful singer.

254
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:37,177
It's just that
you're lacking a little...

255
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,478
Christmas spirit.

256
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,480
Christmas spirit?

257
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,816
I've seen how you treat
your sister carolers.

258
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,352
You kept yelling "No"
during Amanda's audition,

259
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,120
you slept through Lisa's,

260
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:48,588
and pretended
to hang yourself

261
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:49,957
while Deidre was singing.

262
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,693
I was kidding.

263
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,462
Hey, doesn't anyone
like to laugh anymore?

264
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,999
That kind of negative energy
is toxic in a group.

265
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,101
Just look what happened
to Oasis!

266
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:05,005
**

267
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,874
So, they're steaming
across the North Atlantic,

268
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,876
everything's
going great --
MARVIN: Louis.

269
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,611
Hey, Marvin!
What brings you by?

270
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,313
So, I'm hiding
Honey's Christmas gift,

271
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,048
which is something
we do every year --

272
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,149
You know, it preserves

273
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,885
the magic and the wonder
of the season --

274
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,353
when I find
this ticket stub...

275
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,355
for a major
motion picture.

276
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,456
Oh.

277
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,725
Now, I know
it couldn't be Nicole

278
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,026
because she was
at a coffee shop.

279
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,561
And Honey told me that
she went to the gym,

280
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,197
but I found this...

281
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,833
in her purse --
Goobers.

282
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:36,670
Honey hates the combo
of chocolate and peanuts.

283
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,505
That means
she went to the movie

284
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,174
with somebody
who was eating these!

285
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,877
Hmm, hmm,
sounds like a dead end.

286
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,846
No, there's something
going on, Lou.

287
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,015
She's been acting
very strangely lately.

288
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:50,517
I need to stake out
some movie theaters,

289
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:51,985
get to the bottom
of this.

290
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,854
Or...don't.

291
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,991
Nah, I gotta
go do this thing.

292
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:01,361
**

293
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,397
Coffee is great!

294
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,532
I feel like
the show "Friends"

295
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:06,566
makes
a lot more sense now.

296
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,068
I am super focused.

297
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,770
I've read three articles
about hockey.

298
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:10,838
Hockey!

299
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:11,772
Cupdate!

300
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,340
Look what Jackie wrote.

301
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,042
A heart over the "I"?!

302
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,044
(grunts)

303
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,545
I knew playing "hard to get"
would pay off!

304
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,247
So what's my next move?
I don't know!

305
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,449
Well, how did you first
connect with Alison?

306
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,385
We met playing piccolo.

307
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,355
Oh, right! I knew
it was doing something.

308
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,758
**

309
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:34,261
How can Holly say I don't
have Christmas spirit?

310
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,096
Of course,
you have spirit, Mommy.

311
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,431
Everyone knows
how much you love Christmas.

312
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,599
Holly just met you.

313
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,268
She hasn't had a chance
to see that.

314
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,871
Well,
I'm off to rehearsal.

315
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:47,140
Holly's going to fine tune
my step and twists.

316
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,113
As if she could.

317
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,118
So, Marvin came by
to tell me

318
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,121
he found your ticket stub
and a box of Goobers.

319
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,756
He thinks
you've been acting strange

320
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,491
so he's staking out
movie theaters.

321
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:05,725
Ugh.

322
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,895
He always makes some excuse
to stage a stakeout.

323
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,496
I think he just likes
eating in his car.

324
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:12,099
He did order a couple quarts
of scalloped potatoes to go.

325
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,633
I feel kind of bad.

326
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,402
Maybe we should just tell him
we saw "Titanic."

327
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,805
I'll tell him after I give him
his Christmas gift.

328
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:18,906
I don't want to upset him.

329
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,640
Like in "Titanic"
when Billy Zane

330
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,575
finds the nude sketch
Jack drew of Rose.

331
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,445
I must've missed that scene
when I was in the restroom.

332
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,014
Well,
it was a great scene.
Oh...

333
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,248
They were all great.
I know.

334
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,683
I have to admit, I can't
stop thinking about it.

335
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:31,584
Me neither.

336
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:35,823
("My Heart Will Go On" plays)

337
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,791
We can't go see it again.
No way. No.

338
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,626
I mean, not with Marvin
staking out the theaters.

339
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:40,961
Yeah. (laughs)

340
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,363
(sighs)

341
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,498
**

342
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,802
Perfect.
No one will notice us.

343
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:51,438
**

344
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,307
Whoo!
(rolls tongue)

345
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:55,342
Oh, wow.

346
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,676
I know what you need
to do, Nicole.

347
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,678
So, every couple has
a special love language, right?

348
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,514
Right. For Eddie and Alison,
that language was woodwinds.

349
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,850
(imitates flute playing)

350
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:06,119
For Nicole and Jackie,
that language is coffee cups.

351
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,354
Here's Alison's cup.

352
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,122
No smiley face in her "O,"
No heart atop her "I."

353
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,523
You want to communicate
with Jackie?

354
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,292
You speak through these.

355
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,626
My boy done
cracked this thing!

356
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:14,694
I'm gonna go grab
some coffee cups

357
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,729
so we can workshop
the perfect message.

358
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:18,798
Do you really need
a move?

359
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,500
Why not just go up
and say "Hi"?

360
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,002
(laughs)
Alison, please.

361
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,037
When Nicole needs
help dumping her,
we'll come to you.

362
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,738
Whoa. I don't know
why I said that.

363
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,374
Sorry.
That was the java talking.

364
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,309
It's fine.
I've never been happier.

365
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,979
**

366
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,213
It's crazy, I know,

367
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,215
but I thought maybe
they wouldn't sink this time.

368
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,183
Well, you did your part

369
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,885
by yelling "iceberg"
at the screen.

370
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,586
MARVIN: Honey?

371
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,354
I'd been
to five theaters

372
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,023
and starting to think
I was crazy,

373
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,057
but then, here you are,

374
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,059
wearing your
"Little Orphan Annie" wig

375
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,930
in the company of
some strange, old woman.

376
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,999
Are you
the Goober queen?

377
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,235
Louis?

378
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,004
We just wanted
to see "Titanic."

379
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:57,938
I'm sorry, sweetie.

380
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,572
I know
I promised you I'd wait,

381
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,041
but I couldn't
help myself.

382
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,943
You mean you've been doing
all this sneaking around

383
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,277
just to see
some silly boat movie?

384
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,845
Yes.
It's more of a ship,
really.

385
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,248
Must be
some kind of picture

386
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,583
for you to go through all this
just to see it again.

387
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,553
Oh. (chuckles)
It's an amazing movie.

388
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:16,089
Maybe seeing
a boat go down in public

389
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,926
won't be so bad
if my wife and my best friend

390
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,127
are with me.

391
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,094
(chuckles)

392
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,263
Oh, we just missed
the 7:10.

393
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,432
Oh, well, luckily,
it's playing again

394
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,601
at 7:20, 7:40, 7:50,

395
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,137
8:25, 8:55...

396
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:33,606
**

397
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,807
(sighs)

398
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,276
Where the "H" is Holly?

399
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,877
It's show time!

400
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,746
JESSICA: Tidings!

401
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,114
You all look so nice.

402
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,615
We ready to do this?

403
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,984
Uh, you didn't
make the cut.

404
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,485
Does Holly
know you're here?

405
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,753
Oh, I fired her.

406
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,922
* Joy to the world

407
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,757
* The Lord has come

408
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,059
* Let Earth...

409
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:57,597
* Repeat, repeat
the sounding joy *

410
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,266
(claps)

411
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,900
Bravo, Mrs. Huang.

412
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,902
A very merry Christmas
to you.

413
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,838
What do you mean
you fired Holly?

414
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,140
I took your advice,

415
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,276
and I went to go convince her
how much I love Christmas

416
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,578
when I realized
I outrank her.

417
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,814
Who is she to say
who can and can't sing?

418
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,350
It's my committee,
and it's my Christmas.

419
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,988
I can't believe you did that
to her on Christmas!

420
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,522
I mean,
even her dirtbag husband

421
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,790
had the decency
to run off

422
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,625
the day
after her birthday.

423
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,094
(scoffs)

424
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,362
Evan, we don't need them.

425
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,697
We can carol on our own.

426
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:33,300
Sorry, but I don't feel like
singing with you.

427
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,634
I guess I was wrong.

428
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,336
You don't have
Christmas sprit.

429
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:42,209
**

430
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,677
I think you're being
too critical.

431
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,845
You definitely are.

432
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,480
I'm sorry,
but the nautical mistakes

433
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,648
took me
right out of it.

434
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,850
When a vessel that size
breaks apart,

435
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,452
she makes
a hell of a lot more noise.

436
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,553
Hell of a lot more.

437
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:54,721
(doorbell rings)

438
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,023
Mm. I'll get it.

439
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,290
All right.

440
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,792
JESSICA: * Hark how the bells,
sweet silver bells *

441
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,794
* All seem to say,
throw cares away *

442
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,796
* Christmas is here
bringing good cheer *

443
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,832
* To young and old,
meek and the bold *

444
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,834
* Ding, ding, ding, dong,
that is their song *

445
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,836
* With joyful ring,
all caroling *

446
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,172
I killed Christmas.

447
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,174
But you love Christmas.

448
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,708
Who else sends
everyone on the street

449
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,010
her own ornament?

450
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,348
Evan was so excited
about caroling,

451
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,849
and I messed it up.

452
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,684
I ruined Christmas
for my son.

453
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,586
MARVIN:
Honey, look what I found

454
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,555
in the garage
behind the absinthe.

455
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,425
"To Big Daddy,
From Honey Poo"

456
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,161
Marvin, let me --
Who's Big Daddy?

457
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,863
You call me Boopsy,
Mr. Muffin, and Fish Stick.

458
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:37,930
Never Big Daddy.

459
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,866
I knew you were hiding
something.

460
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,602
Open the gift.

461
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,707
A satellite image
of a hurricane?

462
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,542
Your sidecar
is a weatherman?

463
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,010
It's a sonogram.

464
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,547
**

465
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,882
I'm pregnant.

466
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,850
I'm Big Daddy?

467
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,552
You will be.

468
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,589
(both laugh)

469
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,724
We're gonna have a baby,
Honey Poo!

470
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,725
(laughter)

471
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,027
Congratulations.
Congratulations.

472
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,462
Is this
my Lao Ban suit?

473
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,797
Later, later.

474
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,899
(laughs)

475
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:13,966
This was supposed to be

476
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,768
your Christmas gift,
Fish Stick.

477
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:16,936
Yeah...

478
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,438
I'm so happy for you!

479
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,808
I've been dying
to tell you.

480
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:22,875
So exciting!

481
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,944
I'm not gonna lie,
I am really nervous,

482
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,780
but I am so thankful
you'll be here to help me.

483
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,450
Right, to help you ruin
Christmas for your baby.

484
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,484
I'm great at that.

485
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,952
Don't be
too hard on yourself.

486
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,454
I know
you'll figure out a way

487
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,089
to make things right
with Evan.

488
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,924
You are a great mother.

489
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:40,293
**

490
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,764
[ mid-tempo music plays ]

491
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:45,965
Nicole, we got it!

492
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,067
This is the message
you should give to Jackie.

493
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:53,640
"What up, girl,
you gay?

494
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,143
You play
any instruments?

495
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,510
Holla back at me."

496
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,647
Confident, cool...
And a haiku.

497
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,618
It's time.

498
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,086
Take that cup
and give it to her.

499
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,289
(inhales deeply)

500
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:15,528
**

501
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:16,696
Hi.

502
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:17,997
Hey.

503
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,799
Anything
I can help you with?

504
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,135
Yeah.

505
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,671
I have something
to give you.

506
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:30,109
**

507
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,678
My coffee order.

508
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,013
No!
My words!

509
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,848
(sighs) This must be
what it's like

510
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,017
watching your kid
strikeout in baseball.

511
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,553
**

512
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:44,023
I wussed out
and ordered a coffee.

513
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,294
No smiley face.

514
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,228
No heart.

515
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,362
I blew it, guys.

516
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,663
Did you?

517
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,632
(chuckles)
Turn the cup around!

518
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,702
**

519
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:56,969
Digits!
Yes!

520
00:18:57,069 --> 00:19:01,174
**

521
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,575
EDDIE: We did it!

522
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,478
(both laugh)

523
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,315
(knocks on door)

524
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,417
Evan.

525
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,519
I made you something.

526
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,058
Everyone should have a part
in celebrating Christmas,

527
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,194
inside Jessica Town
and out.

528
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,531
I'm sorry
I ruined caroling.

529
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,233
I just love Christmas
so much,

530
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,900
and I wanted it
to be perfect.

531
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,769
Christmas isn't about
being perfect.

532
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,771
It's about
everyone being together.

533
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,105
Yes, it is.

534
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:36,175
**

535
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,010
I'm gonna put this
in Jessica Town

536
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,879
next to Menthol Reds
National Forest

537
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,848
where Grandma
hides her cigarettes.

538
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:46,553
**

539
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,424
Yeah,
Jessica'll do that to you.

540
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,892
I once ate a pound
of gummy worms

541
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,894
because she criticized
the way I walked --

542
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,028
"Like a hooker?"

543
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:57,564
Yeah, well,
you don't move that great.

544
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,098
It might the shoes
you're wearing.

545
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,600
(doorbell rings)

546
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,470
JESSICA: Holly.

547
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,239
I never should've
asked you to make cuts

548
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,375
or fired you for making
such a dumb one.

549
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:11,311
And we're lucky to have you
this Christmas.

550
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,447
I know it's late...

551
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,050
but would you join
the HOA carolers tonight?

552
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,919
This time,
the whole herd?

553
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,153
**

554
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,422
You know,
I'm gonna do something

555
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,424
my husband never could --

556
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,626
admit I was wrong.

557
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,061
You definitely have
the Christmas spirit, Jessica.

558
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:30,963
Come here. Come here.
Aww!

559
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,968
You should never admit
that you're wrong, okay?

560
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,837
Never admit
that you're wrong.

561
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,309
**

562
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,977
(indistinct conversations)

563
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,315
**

564
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:52,452
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

565
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,621
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

566
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:57,189
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

567
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,292
* And a happy new year

568
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,328
* Good tidings we bring

569
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,796
* To you and your kin

570
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:06,032
* Good tidings for Christmas

571
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,368
* And a happy new year

572
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,470
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

573
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,805
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

574
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:17,209
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

575
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:23,950
* And a happy new year

576
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:26,519
(applause)

577
00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:32,492
-- Captions by VITA --