1 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,174 Uh, this is Louis Huang calling again for Kenny Rogers. 2 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,975 He purchased a 50% ownership in my restaurant 3 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,543 from Michael Bolton. 4 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:13,013 Ah. Right in the pleat. 5 00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,648 Ugh! I don't understand 6 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:17,185 why I can't get Kenny Rogers on the phone. 7 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,419 Have you tried calling Dolly Parton? 8 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,487 Of course I have. 9 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,021 I've spoken to Dolly like seven times. 10 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,556 She was nice, but no help. 11 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,359 Eddie! Evan! Hurry up so you can eat and leave! 12 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,328 I can't wait for you boys to go back to school. 13 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,929 There's something about you guys. 14 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:32,833 Over time...it's fatiguing. 15 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,102 It's gonna be a great year. 16 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,503 Now that Eddie's in high school, 17 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,705 I'm gonna have middle school all to myself. 18 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,740 My whole life, I haven't been able to stretch out my arms 19 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:40,774 without hitting a brother. 20 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,043 But look at me now! 21 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,213 Hey. I can touch dad's head. 22 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,780 My wingspan has doubled this summer. 23 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,849 All you boys are growing up. 24 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,851 Booty Man, reporting for 9th grade! 25 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,921 Am I talkin' my booty? Am I talkin' your booty? 26 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,557 Get to know me and find out. [ Clicks tongue ] 27 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,126 ** 28 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,628 -- Captions by VITAC -- 29 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,862 * Fresh off the boat 30 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,531 * I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go * 31 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,899 * If you don't know, homey, now you know * 32 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,235 * Fresh off the boat 33 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,403 * Homey, you don't know where I come from * 34 00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:10,971 * But I know where I'm goin' 35 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,707 * I'm fresh off the boat 36 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,276 Eddie, you can't wear that hat to school. 37 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,777 Take it off. No way. 38 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:17,945 I'm starting high school. 39 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,147 The first impression's everything. 40 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,914 No Booty Man! The hat goes! 41 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,083 Ugh! Fine! 42 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,419 But the day I get my own apartment, 43 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,121 I'm wearing this hat to sign the lease. 44 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,589 Great. Do that. 45 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:33,594 This tension right here is why I took breakfast in my room. 46 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:34,795 We should go. 47 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,498 Don't want to be late to the bus on the first day. 48 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,200 What's that on your face? 49 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,272 It's an irritated clogged pore. 50 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,807 Process your pimple on the move, brother. 51 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,309 The bus waits for no one. 52 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:55,283 ** 53 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,717 No one stops Booty Man. 54 00:01:58,886 --> 00:01:59,820 Well, if I wasn't sure 55 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,355 I liked girls before, 56 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,656 this confirms it. 57 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,192 [ Scoffs ] 58 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,693 Uh, hey, 59 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,161 are those your friends? 60 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,797 Ex-friends, you mean. 61 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,166 Enjoy the bus, losers! 62 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,101 What does your hat say? "Boo"? 63 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,135 What are you, a ghost? 64 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,004 Ooh, I'm scared! 65 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,439 It says "Booty"! You should know. 66 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,474 You have your head up your own! 67 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,142 What did you think of that? 68 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,278 I cannot believe you guys are still fighting. 69 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:25,779 Those guys wanted to drop me 70 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,681 the second they thought I was going to a different school. 71 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,383 Screw them! 72 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:30,618 I got my Booty hat. 73 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,686 I got my girl Alison. And I've got you. 74 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,455 Oh, yeah, no. 75 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,224 You're a freshman. I can't be seen with you. 76 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,691 In fact... 77 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,162 ...you need to get out here before anyone sees us together. 78 00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:43,731 But we're nine blocks from school. 79 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:44,698 Better hurry, then. 80 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:47,468 [ Tires squeal ] 81 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,669 [ Grunts ] 82 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,371 [ Tires squeal, engine revs ] 83 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,573 See you at home for dinner! 84 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,841 My older brother. 85 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:54,908 He sees a therapist, 86 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,410 but we're not allowed 87 00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:57,678 to talk about it. 88 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:58,979 ** 89 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,080 [ Indistinct conversations ] 90 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,582 Can you still see it? 91 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,417 If anyone asks, I'm gonna say 92 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,585 I nicked myself shaving. 93 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:05,753 When the day comes, 94 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:06,987 I'm going electric. 95 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,188 That three-headed Norelco -- 96 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:11,225 It lifts, then it slices. 97 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,526 Have a good first day. 98 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:21,168 ** 99 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,536 Evan? 100 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,671 You're on the wrong bus. 101 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,672 I'm not. 102 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,206 I skipped 5th grade. 103 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,276 I'm a middle schooler now. What?! 104 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,510 After I inhaled 105 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,412 the St. Orlando's summer reading list, 106 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,381 I knew I was working way above my level. 107 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,082 So, long story short, 108 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,517 we called Principal Hunter, 109 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,751 took a few tests, 110 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:38,686 wrote an essay, 111 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,720 bing, bang, boom, 112 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,021 here we are. 113 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,190 When were you gonna tell me? I wasn't. 114 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,393 You know how our family doesn't like to talk about things. 115 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,261 I thought maybe when we're 25, 116 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,630 we'd be having Negronis, and I'd be like, 117 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,898 "How about that time I skipped 5th grade 118 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,199 and we never talked about it"? 119 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,767 I see how it could've 120 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,068 played out that way. 121 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,236 Sure. 122 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,940 ** 123 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,809 Uh, get the belly again. 124 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,243 Every time I turn around, 125 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:04,578 someone's wiping barbecue sauce on that belly. 126 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,448 Matthew: Hello? 127 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,082 Hello? 128 00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:11,218 I'm so sorry. These are supposed to transition, 129 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,686 but they take a while. 130 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:17,758 There they go. 131 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,627 [ Chuckles ] Uh, can I help you? 132 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,061 I am Matthew Chestnut, 133 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,263 from Kenny Rogers' Roasters corporate office. 134 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,432 I'm Kenny's right-hand man, 135 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,799 or should I say left-hand man 136 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,934 because Kenny's always right? 137 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,336 Hmm. Finally! [ Chuckles ] 138 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,103 I've been calling you guys for months about our sign. 139 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,672 Oh, sorry about that. 140 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:35,275 Roasters is very busy with 425 locations across Canada, 141 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,611 the United States, the Middle East, Asia. 142 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,980 Hey, got a quick question -- you probably know this -- 143 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,482 do Asian people like corn? 144 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,617 Should we put corn in our Asian stores? 145 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,986 Um, I like corn. 146 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,588 Okay, yep. 147 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,657 It's a go on the Asian corn. 148 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,659 Okay. [ Chuckles ] 149 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,293 Uh, well, welcome. 150 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,862 I'm Louis Huang, founder. 151 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,864 Uh, so, about our sign, right now it says 152 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,767 "Kenny Rogers' Michael Bolton's Cattleman's Ranch." 153 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,201 Wordy. [ Chuckles ] 154 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,936 We should take Michael Bolton's name down, right? 155 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,638 Oh, oh, oh, uh, n-no. 156 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,274 Uh, Kenny and Michael have an intense rivalry, 157 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,478 so Kenny wants to keep his name above Michael's forever. 158 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,480 Oh. Yeah. Don't worry about it. 159 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,981 These are the types of things I'll help you navigate 160 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,483 over the next few months. 161 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,284 Few months? Yeah, few months to a year. 162 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,352 But don't worry, 163 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:20,020 Kenny loves what you're doing here. 164 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,355 Oh! 165 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,290 I accidentally tracked this leaf in. 166 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,292 I'm gonna go, uh, throw it back outside. 167 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,830 ** 168 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,833 There's my superstar! 169 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:36,404 Lincoln Middle School's first ever grade skipper. 170 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,005 Is this contact appropriate? 171 00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,976 We got you this welcome pencil. 172 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,845 Come down to my office any time, 173 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,447 and Denise will hook you up with lead. 174 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,851 Unlimited lead. 175 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,223 ** 176 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,025 Looks like...chemistry. 177 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,561 Thank you. 178 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,263 ** 179 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,098 Whoa. That was weird. 180 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,835 Girls usually love you. 181 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,770 That's never happened before. 182 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,005 Maybe she didn't see me because she's blind. 183 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,407 Who? Celeste? 184 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,108 No, she has perfect vision. 185 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,777 In the last yearbook under "likes," 186 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,279 she wrote, "Boys, Spice Girls, and seeing perfectly." 187 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,082 Hmm. 188 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,618 ** 189 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,620 [ Indistinct conversations ] 190 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:36,564 ** 191 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,698 Alison! 192 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,233 ** 193 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,035 Excuse me. Coming through. 194 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,571 That's my girl in there. 195 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:46,039 This liar says that he's your boyfriend. 196 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,240 You want me to put him in the trash? 197 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,643 He is my boyfriend, but thanks. 198 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,244 That's sweet. 199 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,614 I'm gonna call an audible on that play? 200 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,748 [ Laughter ] 201 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,584 Damn! This one's coming for our playbook. 202 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,287 My girl! 203 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,655 How was woodwind camp? 204 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,290 One of the flautists went missing, 205 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,559 but they found her in a bog. 206 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:06,560 Cool! 207 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,562 Um, what did those idiot jocks want? 208 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,263 They just wanted to say hi. 209 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,299 I'll be playing the piccolo in marching band this year, 210 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,801 so I'm getting to know the team. 211 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:14,802 They seem nice. 212 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,770 [ School bell rings ] 213 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,171 I got to get to class. 214 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,339 I'll save you a seat at lunch. 215 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,508 Great! 216 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,342 I told Number 53 he could sit with us, 217 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,945 so try to get a big table... and an end seat 218 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,114 because his shoulders are so broad. 219 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,018 [ Chuckles ] 220 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:36,023 ** 221 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,359 I want you to know 222 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,161 I snuck this hat out and wore it. 223 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,596 I know. Terrible. 224 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,131 But I see the error of my ways. 225 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,298 You were right. 226 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,034 High school is serious, 227 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,336 and to succeed, I need discipline, 228 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:52,472 a strict dress code, and to keep my eye on the ball. 229 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,174 Okay... 230 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,609 Great. So we agree. 231 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,044 I'm going out for the football team. 232 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,912 And get concussed? No way! 233 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,885 Mom, you have to sign this permission slip. 234 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:05,886 Football is gonna be my thing in high school. 235 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,655 So find a different thing. I can't! 236 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:08,889 Alison's in the band, 237 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,624 and she's gonna be spending a lot of time 238 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:11,725 with the football team. [ Sighs ] 239 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,627 I've got to be one of those guys. 240 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,028 This says the school's not liable 241 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,797 in the event of a concussion -- 242 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,831 spelled wrong, by the way -- 243 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,533 loss of limb, or death. 244 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,835 Mom, Mom, Mom, you're looking at it all wrong. 245 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,237 What if it goes well? That means college scholarship, 246 00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,006 NFL, tons of money! 247 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,008 You marry a white girl, become a Hertz pitchman, 248 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,977 and then kill your wife because you lost your mind 249 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,845 from all the concussions. 250 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:35,048 No! I'm not letting my son become the next O.J. 251 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:45,492 ** 252 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,095 Rolling in at 10:00. Oh. [ Chuckles ] 253 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,496 Kenny's not gonna love that. 254 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,931 I try to have breakfast with my kids. 255 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,365 I-I'm kidding. 256 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,067 I literally just ran in here from the parking lot 257 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,703 and stood here right before you walked in. 258 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:56,604 [ Chuckles ] Oh, feel my chest. 259 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,071 My heart is beating so fast. 260 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,439 You got my heart going, too. 261 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,908 I thought you were mad. [ Both laugh ] 262 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,009 Boom boom brothers. 263 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,210 [ Chuckles ] 264 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,112 [ Imitates heart pounding ] 265 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,715 [ Both laugh ] 266 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:11,084 Anyway, um, I've done a full assessment of the restaurant, 267 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,352 and I think I have a couple things 268 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,588 that are gonna take us to that next level. 269 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,890 Mm-hmm. Um, first, we should add a customer comment line. 270 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:20,093 [ Chuckles ] Yeah, let's give people an anonymous forum to be racist. 271 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,061 [ Chuckles ] 272 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,863 Um, also, back at Roasters, 273 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,531 we do have a seat-yourself policy. 274 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,934 It creates a relaxed, kind of down-home environment. 275 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,301 Well, I've found that having a host 276 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,603 lets you get to know your customers. 277 00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,204 Um, and lastly, 278 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,273 I do think we should lose some of the steak dishes 279 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,876 from the menu and add some rotisserie chicken. 280 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,477 That's what Kenny's known for. 281 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,813 Oh, well, here at Cattleman's Ranch, 282 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,248 we're known for our steak. [ Chuckles ] 283 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,717 This isn't Chickenman's...Ranch. 284 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,385 Chickenman's! [ Chuckles ] That's not bad. 285 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,287 Maybe call the comment line, suggest it. 286 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,456 [ Both chuckle ] 287 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,058 ** 288 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,159 [ Whistle blows ] 289 00:09:52,192 --> 00:10:00,233 ** 290 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,936 What's up? I'm Eddie. The Booty Man. 291 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,338 Maybe you've seen me in my hat around the halls? 292 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,240 I don't really notice other dudes, man. 293 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,109 Yeah, yeah. Cool, cool. Who would? 294 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,144 [ Whistle blows ] 295 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:15,248 Yes, I am a woman and a football coach. 296 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,450 That's right. Your coach is a lady. 297 00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,019 Come on. Let's get it out of the way. 298 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,789 Are you on your period? 299 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,623 Go run laps. 300 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,759 That's a yes. 301 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:29,429 Took me forever to get my mom to sign the tryout waiver. 302 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,530 I had no problem. 303 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,200 ** 304 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,538 G-ma dropping wisdom from the hall. 305 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,776 How many laps do you want me to do, Coach? 306 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,277 I want you to do as many laps 307 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,613 as there are seasons of "Murphy Brown." 308 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,281 10. 309 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,484 ** 310 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,021 And sure enough, Denise refilled the pencil lead. 311 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,289 Twice. I figured it out. 312 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,291 You're the reason things are going bad for me this year. 313 00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,893 What are you talking about? 314 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,662 The only thing that's different at school is you. 315 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,531 Suddenly, girls are rejecting me, 316 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,466 the cafeteria ran out of green beans, 317 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,301 somebody drew penises in all my textbooks -- 318 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:12,005 You think I would waste pencil lead on pornography? 319 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:12,906 Grandma Huang: Emery... 320 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:16,777 What do you mean? 321 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:27,220 ** 322 00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:28,655 [ Sighs ] 323 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,425 ** 324 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,427 [ Sighs ] 325 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,865 ** 326 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,432 Mmm. 327 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,749 That can't be true. 328 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,617 Well, it makes sense. 329 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,352 You got me kicked out of private school, 330 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,588 no one believed you about Tiger Woods, 331 00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,924 we didn't get to see that big peanut, 332 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,259 and there was that week where you thought clogs were unisex. 333 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,396 Pinocchio wears them, and he's a real boy! 334 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,398 Did Eddie have a bad-luck year when he was 12? 335 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,771 ** 336 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:20,207 I'm gonna turn the temp up on the rotisserie one degree, 337 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,275 just enough to make the chicken dry and stringy. 338 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,077 Then we'll see how long it stays on the menu. 339 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,813 Louis, get ahold of yourself! 340 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:29,082 You're spending a lot of energy worrying about small changes. 341 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,218 But Cattleman's is already a great restaurant. 342 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,385 It is. 343 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,254 So great that two music moguls 344 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,956 wanted to put their name on it. 345 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,025 You did that. So do it again. 346 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,495 Imagine this pillow is Cattleman's. 347 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,264 You're spending all your energy 348 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,899 trying to make this pillow perfect 349 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:49,136 when there could be pillows all over the bed. 350 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,770 Cattleman's 2. 351 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,605 Cattleman's 3. 352 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,141 Cattleman's To-Go. 353 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,675 Just look at Kenny Rogers. 354 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,644 He is thinking big picture. 355 00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,981 He's not in there every day worrying about chicken. 356 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,216 No, he's making love to Dolly Parton. 357 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,286 You think? Right now. 358 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:10,190 ** 359 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,092 [ Locker door closes ] 360 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,927 You made the team? That's great! 361 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,262 Sure did. 362 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,164 Coach called me an Asian Barry Sanders. 363 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,999 See you on the field of play, bro. 364 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,100 That's my teammate, Max. 365 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,534 We both want the same thing -- 366 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,503 to bring home a title for our school. 367 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,305 Nice. So, I'll see you at practice later? 368 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,607 I'm number 22 -- double deuce. 369 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,542 Our love code can be two piccolo toots. 370 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,879 [ Giggles ] 371 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,813 Regular citizens, stand aside. 372 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:34,882 Athlete coming through. 373 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,385 Butterfingers. 374 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,053 Brian better crawl under there and get it back. 375 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:41,554 In your dreams. 376 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,990 Why would I dream about that? 377 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,158 Don't tell us your dreams! We're not friends anymore. 378 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:49,897 ** 379 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,733 [ Clears throat ] 380 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,503 Oh. Kenny Rogers likes the salad bar 381 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,072 to be in descending order of crunch. 382 00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:01,674 Uh, listen, I want to apologize 383 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:04,211 if I've been a little resistant to change. 384 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,346 Oh, don't worry about it. I get it. 385 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,415 I've bought the same jeans for 20 years. 386 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,817 My wife buys me chinos, I tell her, "Amy, stop." 387 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,153 [ Laughs ] Okay, good. 388 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,222 Yeah, I just have one more tiny change. 389 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,090 We are gonna have to lose the bear. 390 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,559 What?! Yeah. 391 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,329 Mr. Rogers has a complicated relationship with bears. 392 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,830 Can't have one in his restaurant. 393 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,998 But this bear was the first thing 394 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,199 I bought for the restaurant. 395 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,035 Mark and I have been through everything together. 396 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,203 I'm sorry, but one tried to rip Kenny's throat out, 397 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,372 so...bye, Mark. 398 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,341 Here's a list of pre-approved taxidermied animals. 399 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,708 Just let us know which one you want. 400 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:36,944 We'll have it shot and stuffed. 401 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,546 [ Sighs ] 402 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,048 Bald eagle? 403 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,715 French bulldog? 404 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,619 This is war! 405 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,688 ** 406 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,023 [ Knock on door ] 407 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,391 Yoo-hoo. 408 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,392 Hey! 409 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,527 Hey! 410 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,429 I just popped in to see 411 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,399 if you accidentally took all of our monogrammed towels 412 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:00,900 when you moved out of our house. 413 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:03,937 Oh... 414 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,738 [ Chuckles ] 415 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:09,742 I thought the "H" and "M" stood for "His" and..."Mine." 416 00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:12,079 Honest mistake. [ Chuckles ] 417 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:14,047 I guess. 418 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,983 Oh, congrats, by the way. 419 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,218 Nicole told me Eddie's on the football team. 420 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,153 No, he's not. I said he couldn't try out. 421 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,588 I think he is. 422 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,990 She said she's picking him up after practice later. 423 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,328 [ Indistinct shouting ] 424 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:29,629 [ Piccolo toots ] 425 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,034 [ All grunting ] 426 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,304 Is Eddie on the football team? 427 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:40,207 He is! Number 22. He's doing well. Look. 428 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,245 [ Grunting ] 429 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,614 Where'd he learn to juke like that? 430 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,249 [ Grunts ] 431 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,518 [ Screams ] Concussed! 432 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,153 [ Whistle blows ] Eddie! 433 00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:57,991 Who the hell is this? 434 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,492 [ Grunts ] Where's Eddie? 435 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:00,493 I think he's over there. 436 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:06,066 ** 437 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,972 I am so mad I can't hear myself speak. 438 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:16,343 All I can hear is the anger in my ears. 439 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:20,013 It is like the hiss of a tea kettle filled with rage. 440 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,349 I'm sorry. It's just -- 441 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,651 Alison, when I saw you talking to those football players, 442 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,319 I got worried that you might not like me anymore 443 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,155 if I wasn't on the team. 444 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,622 But I didn't make the cut, 445 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,059 so I paid Max to pretend to be me. 446 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,393 Unbelievable. 447 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,163 I'm gonna go make sure that poor boy's okay 448 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:39,399 and get back the money you paid him. 449 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,168 You didn't give me very much credit, 450 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,669 thinking I would immediately ditch you 451 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,371 for a football player. 452 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,838 I know. I messed up. 453 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:51,144 [ Sighs ] Maybe it's a good time for a fresh start. 454 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,080 Are you breaking up with me? 455 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:55,915 I'm sorry, Eddie. 456 00:16:55,948 --> 00:17:00,653 ** 457 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,888 Jessica: Eddie! 458 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,657 You paid this boy $50?! 459 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,559 He would've done it for $20! 460 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,395 ** 461 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,996 [ Low-pitched voice ] Hi, this is Harry. 462 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,864 Big fan of Cattleman's Ranch. 463 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:15,335 My comment is, I love the stuffed bear in the dining room. 464 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,837 Thank you. [ Telephone beeps ] 465 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,573 I have cleared everything fun out of Eddie's room. 466 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,841 Help me bury it. [ Normal voice ] In the morning. 467 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:22,909 Right now I'm at war. 468 00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,944 [ Dialing, ringing ] 469 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,247 [ Southern accent ] Hello. I'm a white, Southern woman 470 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,948 who's used to getting what she wants. 471 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,917 And what I want is steak. 472 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,586 [ Telephone beeps ] Louis, this is important. 473 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,222 Our son was almost concussed. 474 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,190 [ Normal voice ] But he wasn't. Eddie is fine. 475 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,925 It's the restaurant I built from the ground up 476 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,927 that's dying a death by a thousand cuts. 477 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,062 We talked about this with the pillows! 478 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,865 Why are you still wasting so much energy? 479 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,434 Eddie: Excuse me. 480 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,436 May I come in for a glass of water? No. 481 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,538 Your dehumidifier is full. Drink that. 482 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,806 [ Sighs ] 483 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,642 I thought I could take a step back 484 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:56,809 once he was in high school, 485 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,312 but it's always gonna be something with him. 486 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,148 That's how I feel about Cattleman's. 487 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:04,717 I can't quit caring for it, no matter how much I try. 488 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,620 Cattleman's is your Eddie. 489 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,122 A pain in the ass, 490 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,423 always on the brink of disaster, 491 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,892 but you will never stop fighting for it, 492 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,827 because it's your first. 493 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,463 That's it! That's exactly it! 494 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,665 Well, why didn't you just say that? 495 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,300 You need to march back in there 496 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,669 and save your baby from being concussed 497 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,304 before you rip off its helmet 498 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,606 and see a boy you don't even recognize. 499 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,641 When I get done with that place, it'll be called 500 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:32,111 Louis Huang's Kenny Rogers' Michael Bolton's Cattleman's Ranch! 501 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,347 The name is too long. 502 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,515 I know. 503 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,320 This restaurant is my dream, Matthew, 504 00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,755 and that dream started with me buying this bear 505 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,457 at the estate sale of a game hunter 506 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,926 who shot himself cleaning his gun. 507 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,928 I built this place. 508 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,096 I mean, not from the ground up -- 509 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,264 it used to be a strip club -- 510 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,100 but I took it over, thoroughly sanitized it, 511 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,303 and I made it what it is today. 512 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,771 Cattleman's will always be my baby, 513 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,540 so I don't care what you do at Roasters, 514 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,642 you're not changing a thing. 515 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,611 Oh, um, um -- um, I'm sorry. 516 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,845 I'm not processing anything. 517 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,314 The school just got ahold of me. 518 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,149 My son, Max, was concussed at football practice today. 519 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,884 I-I have to go see him. 520 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,153 Uh... d-do whatever you want. 521 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:16,956 [ Chuckles ] We did it! 522 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,625 We saved Cattleman's! 523 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,092 [ Light applause ] 524 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,697 Oh. 525 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,533 Can I seat you, gentlemen? 526 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,867 You're gonna love this place. 527 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,302 It's full nude. 528 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,704 Hey, does Cinnamon still work here? 529 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,507 Tell her Barry's finally out on good behavior. 530 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,410 [ Indistinct conversations ] 531 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:42,815 ** 532 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:48,421 ** 533 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,722 What are you doing? 534 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,990 We heard about Alison. 535 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,260 Sorry, man. That sucks. 536 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,728 I know you're not hungry, but you need to eat something. 537 00:19:58,465 --> 00:19:59,932 So you guys aren't still mad? 538 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,068 We don't even remember what we were fighting about. 539 00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,736 I do, but I'm gonna let it go. 540 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,538 Trent: We feel your pain. 541 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,408 In a way, Alison was all of our first girlfriends. 542 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,777 Not me. I got to second base with Edith. 543 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,245 Second base?! 544 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,913 You accidentally fell on top of her. 545 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,282 She rolled her ankle. 546 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,216 Yes, but she let me sign her cast 547 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,618 really close to her knee. 548 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,420 [ Laughter ] 549 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,622 Okay. 550 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:24,857 Okay, so, we never got to talk about the "ER" finale. 551 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,259 Oh, my gosh. 552 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:34,501 ** 553 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,706 ** 554 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,441 [ Both sigh ] 555 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,976 110 days till the year of the Ox is over. 556 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,446 111 -- today's not over. 557 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,715 You know, I was thinking -- 558 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,050 up until now, you've led a pretty charmed life. 559 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,786 So your bad is basically everyone else's normal. 560 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,988 Huh, maybe so. 561 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,324 Good morning, Kyle. 562 00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:01,894 Sometimes normal people get ignored. 563 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,563 People ignore you? 564 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,164 Good thing you've got me at school now. 565 00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:06,966 I've got your back this year. 566 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,102 Here, you can use my pencil today. 567 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,504 Thanks. 568 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,575 My lead rods! I'm sorry. 569 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,976 Here, let me help. Don't touch them! 570 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,611 Just hold my bag. 571 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,915 ** 572 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:26,453 My ruler is in the dirt.