1
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,874
So, you guys moved
out of this house,

2
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:09,009
and now you want to move
back in?

3
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:10,878
(clears throat)
Allow me to explain --

4
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:11,945
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.

5
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:14,582
Before you do,
um, how are the scones?

6
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:17,085
-They're okay.
-Yeah, they taste pretty good.

7
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,886
Good. Okay, go ahead.
Tell me your story.

8
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,689
Well, to secure me a spot
at St. Orlando's...

9
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,624
Mommy moved us
out of this house

10
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,893
and into a bigger house
that we bought

11
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:26,960
using the money
that my dad made

12
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,263
selling part of his restaurant
to Michael Bolton.

13
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,100
But when that house
was too fancy

14
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,468
and Emery got my admission
to St. Orlando's revoked,

15
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,071
we decided to move back here
to our old house.

16
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,739
Good luck with high school,
losers!

17
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:39,707
Also, Eddie was rude
to his friends

18
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,275
so now he doesn't have
any friends.

19
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,778
So anyway, that's why
we need you to move out.

20
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,147
What do you need,
5, 10 minutes?

21
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,317
You know what?
I've signed a lease here, so...

22
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,651
my hands are kinda tied.

23
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,886
Maybe you guys
could move into a hotel

24
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,555
until you find
a new place.

25
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,392
Welcome to Hotel Honey!
(laughs softly)

26
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,831
Are you sure it's okay
to stay here?

27
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,633
There's so many of us.

28
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,302
Are you kidding?
Stay as long you like.

29
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,171
My home is your home.

30
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:15,976
(hair dryer blowing)

31
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,579
Mr. Huang's been blow-drying
his hair for 45 minutes!

32
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,982
You're a man! You always look
exactly the same!

33
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,517
(pounding on bathroom door,
TV chatter)

34
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,353
Good morning!

35
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,321
Hey, I didn't know you had
the Game Show Channel --

36
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,123
It's "Cincinnati,"
you idiot!

37
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:33,961
Wow, you all really
made yourselves at home...

38
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,863
overnight.

39
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:39,099
(grunts) You have
really strong doorjambs.

40
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,301
Thank you.

41
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,604
Don't buy a vowel
Come on!

42
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,473
You're out of cereal.

43
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,277
**

44
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:50,478
* Fresh off the boat

45
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:52,180
* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

46
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,482
* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

47
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,150
* Fresh off the boat

48
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,152
* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

49
00:01:58,252 --> 00:01:59,520
* But I know where I'm goin'

50
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,223
* I'm fresh off the boat

51
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,628
Thou damned whale.

52
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:08,962
(chuckles)

53
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,299
St. Orlando's might have
taken away my admission,

54
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:14,001
but they can't take away
their summer reading list.

55
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,639
If you want to read something
a little more fun,

56
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,575
we have plenty of Nicole's
old books on the shelf.

57
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,714
I'm sorry,
where are your books?

58
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,249
Behind this trash?

59
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:31,419
(scoffs)
Logan Likes Mary Anne.

60
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,521
So?

61
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,189
(book thuds)

62
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,524
LOUIS: Honey!
Good news.

63
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,092
We just got off the phone
with our old landlord, Murray,

64
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,929
and he says he's open
to selling us our house back.

65
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:46,834
Oh. So soon?
Aw, boo, but you just got here.

66
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,736
I'm going over there later today
to do a walk-through.

67
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:49,737
Do you want to join me?

68
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,605
You could hold my purse
while I negotiate.

69
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,242
Absolutely.
Anything to help.

70
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:55,443
(door opens)

71
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:58,178
Well, if it isn't
Emery "The Tool Man" Huang.

72
00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,380
(as Tim Allen)
Ho-ho-ho-ho!

73
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,582
(both chuckle)
That's good.

74
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,617
I'm building a new birdhouse
for Marvin and Honey.

75
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,454
You know, your old man
knows his way around a lathe.

76
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:09,122
I once flirted with the idea
of going into construction.

77
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,724
Had a name picked out
and everything --

78
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,593
Huang Construction.

79
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,627
Do you want to help?

80
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,229
It'd be fun to work on it
together.

81
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,031
(pager beeping)
Oh.

82
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,701
Hmm. I wish I could,
but I got to go to work.

83
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:21,802
Duty calls.

84
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,637
Oh.
Okay.

85
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,573
No problem.
Have fun.

86
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:29,710
(door opens, closes)

87
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,745
Oh!
Hey, Nicole.

88
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:34,114
Um...
I like your towel.

89
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,318
Thanks. It's, uh,
Pumbaa from The Lion King.

90
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,919
Uh...

91
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,954
Well, I should
go get ready.

92
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,656
Um, I'm driving
some of my friends to the mall

93
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,224
to go see
that movie Contact.

94
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,126
You have a car?
Yep.

95
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,228
My dad got me a Saturn
for not getting held back again.

96
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,430
It's a "you're progressing

97
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,499
at the pace you should be
moving at" present.

98
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,567
You set the bar low.
Dope.

99
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,737
My boo Alison's at band camp all
summer on that woodwind tip.

100
00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:00,007
So I guess I'll just hang with
the fellas, see what's good.

101
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:03,110
(metal scraping)

102
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:09,283
Hey, guys, what's up?
You guys catch the ER finale?

103
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,586
Uh, what are you doing?
What do you mean?

104
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,288
You called us losers,
remember?

105
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,423
You're still mad
about that?

106
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,657
That was weeks ago.

107
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,593
Can you fools believe Dr. Ross
kissed Nurse Hathaway?

108
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,828
Twist!

109
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,830
To be fair, their chemistry's
been steadily building

110
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:23,831
since season one --

111
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,966
Brian.

112
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:30,003
(sighs)
You know what? Fine.

113
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,039
I don't need you guys.

114
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,812
The ER finale
made me cry.

115
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:42,015
(indistinct conversations)

116
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,317
Hmm.

117
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,718
He knows!

118
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,019
Who knows?
About what?

119
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,456
Kenny Rogers knows
about our success.

120
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,890
I sent him
a summer update

121
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,892
on company letterhead.

122
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:55,062
"My new business venture
is going great.

123
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,997
Yeah, we're successful,
all right.

124
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,298
So successful
that I'm sure

125
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,501
we'll expand Michael Bolton's
Cattleman's Ranch

126
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:03,036
both domestically
and abroad.

127
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,072
Who knows, maybe we'll even
put one on the moon.

128
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:08,241
Ha ha.
Your friend, Michael Bolton."

129
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,510
(screams)

130
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:12,580
I'm so baaaaad.

131
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,715
Right.
Um, I should get to work.

132
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,584
No, you should
take some time off,

133
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,185
spend some time
with your family.

134
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,520
Ah, that's very nice,
Michael,

135
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,821
but I couldn't do that
to you.

136
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,990
Nonsense.
We're partners.

137
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,826
When Grammy season rolls around,
I'll rely on you.

138
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,260
Until then...

139
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:30,097
* Lean on me

140
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,700
(applause)

141
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,069
Huh.

142
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,070
Are you sure?

143
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,239
Go.
I'll take care of things here...

144
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,374
(southern accent)
partner.

145
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:46,414
And finally,
here's the kitchen.

146
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,682
Which of course you already know
'cause you used to live here.

147
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,685
-Mm-hmm.
-Sorry about this.

148
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,454
I know you just moved in.
Oh, that's okay.

149
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,589
This kind of thing
happens to me constantly.

150
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,225
Whenever I hang my hat,
somebody takes away the hook.

151
00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,960
Did you just come up
with that?

152
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,596
Well,
I used to design mugs.

153
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,564
Oh.

154
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,599
Okay, if that's everything,

155
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,967
I'll start drawing up
the paperwork.

156
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,569
JESSICA: Not so fast.

157
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:13,641
**

158
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,544
Loose knob!
When were you going to tell me?

159
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:20,047
Um, also the, uh,
dishwasher doesn't work.

160
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,115
I think somebody
disconnected it.

161
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,985
Slumlord!

162
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,287
I'm afraid there's just
too much undisclosed damage

163
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,490
for me to move forward
at the current price.

164
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,559
But your family
caused the damage.

165
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:32,826
Here come the mind games.

166
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,227
Well, how do you know

167
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:38,298
that it wasn't this
blond nightmare right here?

168
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,900
Oh, hey,
that reminds me --

169
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,302
I saved your mail
for you.

170
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,171
Oh, thank you.

171
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,576
TEEN GIRL (ethereal voice):
Evan.

172
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:50,444
TEEN GIRL #2: Evan.

173
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,012
Read us, Evan.

174
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,847
We're light and fun.

175
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,116
( laughter )

176
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,651
Read us.

177
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,287
TEEN GIRLS:
You know you want to.

178
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,321
(door opens)

179
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,692
I just don't understand why you
would sabotage your own sale.

180
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:08,161
Relax. Acting disinterested
was just a tactic.

181
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,663
He's gonna sleep on it
tonight,

182
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,765
and then he'll come back
with a lower offer to --

183
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,133
Oh, my God!

184
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,836
I'm gonna be
on Wheel of Fortune!

185
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,170
(inhales sharply)

186
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:22,175
(both scream)

187
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:30,283
(screaming)

188
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,686
(inhales sharply)
What on Earth...

189
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,488
EVAN: Mommy applied to be on
Wheel of Fortune

190
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,557
as soon as she became
a U.S. citizen.

191
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,492
She started watching when
she was pregnant with Eddie.

192
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,360
That's why all our names
start with "E."

193
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,829
It's her favorite vowel.

194
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,231
I was a contestant on Studs
once.

195
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:47,234
"Wheel of Fortune is coming
to Orlando, Jessica Huang.

196
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,637
We invite you
and your best friend

197
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:53,373
to compete on our annual
'Best Friends Week.'"

198
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:57,177
Honey, will you be my
best-friends partner?

199
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,746
Sure.
It sounds fun.

200
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:01,148
But back to
the house thing.

201
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,216
If you're gonna make
that counter-offer tomorrow --

202
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,918
They'll be plenty of time
for that after Wheel.

203
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,555
Right now,
we need to practice.

204
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,692
(exhales sharply)

205
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,426
Are those
all your board games?

206
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:14,862
Yes!

207
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,396
Where'd my wedding dress
go?

208
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,331
I rolled it up and I put it
inside the Monopoly.

209
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,400
Your veil is inside
the Hungry Hungry Hippo.

210
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,273
(slurps)

211
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,008
(tires screech)

212
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,678
Hey!
You want a ride home?

213
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:33,013
(music playing on radio)
So, my friends met some boys
and ditched the movie.

214
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,748
Apparently, guys
are more important

215
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,550
than watching Jodie Foster
go to space.

216
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,551
Uh-huh.

217
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,120
Are you excited
to start high school?

218
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,789
I guess.

219
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:42,890
(music stops)

220
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,524
Okay, spill it.

221
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,126
You've said two words
since you've got in.

222
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,260
What's up?

223
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,862
It's nothing.
Forget it.

224
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,732
Hey, whatever it is,
you can trust me.

225
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:55,135
What we talk about in
the Saturn stays in the Saturn.

226
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,742
See?
Safe space.

227
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,476
My friends
aren't my friends anymore,

228
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,545
and my girlfriend's gone
for the whole summer,

229
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,080
and who knows what it's gonna be
like between us

230
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,048
when she gets back.

231
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,283
Now I have nobody,

232
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,585
and I'm scared I'll have
to start high school alone.

233
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,421
Maybe this is just the start of
something new for you.

234
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,157
The hardest thing about figuring
out who you really are

235
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,960
is letting go of
who you used to be, you know?

236
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,731
Yeah,
that makes a lot of sense.

237
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,306
It's cool to talk to somebody
who understands.

238
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,909
Kinda like the...
(thinking)
Oh, my God.

239
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,245
Did Nicole just put her hand
on my shoulder?

240
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,648
She did!
Is is still there?

241
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:41,649
Don't look, fool!

242
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,118
Can we hang out again and talk,
just the two of us?

243
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,420
W-We can go
to The Spicy Gecko.

244
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,156
They don't charge
for chips.

245
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,992
Did Nicole
just ask me out?

246
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,460
But I have a girlfriend.

247
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,930
I mean, I like Alison,
but Nicole's my first crush --

248
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:57,998
(horn honks)

249
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:01,769
Pull...in!!

250
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:08,441
I think you guys
are gonna love your new house.

251
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,477
Even you, Jeremy.
(Jeremy chirps)

252
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,280
Hey, Dad, what are you doing
home so early?

253
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,782
I'm taking a few days off.

254
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,984
Thought we could build
that birdhouse together.

255
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,820
Huang Construction...
and Son.

256
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,822
That'd be awesome!
I could use the help.

257
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,224
(pager beeping)

258
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,226
It's okay
if you need to take it.

259
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,695
I know you're busy.

260
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,396
I am busy...

261
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,231
building a birdhouse
with my son.

262
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,669
(both chuckle)

263
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:43,677
I'll solve.
"Birthday cake."

264
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,980
(sighs)

265
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,215
(sighs)

266
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,850
Honey, get your head
in the game!

267
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,018
What if they bring back

268
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,820
returning best-friends
champions, Don and Lisa?

269
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,088
What then?

270
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,323
(gasps)

271
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,393
What a crazy tree.

272
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,864
Okay, reset.
We'll go again.

273
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:07,701
Jessica, we have done nothing
but practice for an entire week.

274
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,102
I'm exhausted.

275
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,705
And my house is...
Are you wearing my shirt?

276
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,573
Yes.
Your laundry's backed up.

277
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,009
You know, it is very hard
sharing a space

278
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,577
with a whole other family.

279
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,747
Yeah, speaking of that,

280
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,448
where are you
on the counter-offer?

281
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,850
I mean, no rush.

282
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:26,386
I love having you here, but have
you heard from Murray at all?

283
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,722
Yes. I put in the offer
two days ago and he accepted

284
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,724
because, like I said,
he is weak.

285
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:33,126
So we're going to go over
the contract this afternoon,

286
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,594
and we should be out of here
very soon.

287
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,130
Ah-- Uh--
No!

288
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,932
Not -- Not too soon,
I hope.

289
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,035
Okay, let's go over
the Wheel plan again.

290
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,905
Never buy a vowel because
they're a waste of money.

291
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,206
If one of us wants to solve,

292
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,776
squeeze the other person's arm
three times

293
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:49,943
and then sound it out.

294
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,312
Sound it out because
when I hear you talking,

295
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,414
it might spark something
for me.

296
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,985
Keep up the chatter --
How about
we take the night off?

297
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,419
I haven't seen Marvin
all week

298
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,889
and I would love some private
time, just me and him.

299
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,424
"Private time"?

300
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,259
She can't wait
until after Wheel

301
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,795
to have dinner
with her husband?

302
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,463
Well, not everybody
has your work ethic.
(sighs)

303
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,832
Speaking of,
Emery and I

304
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,666
bought all the lumber
for the birdhouse.

305
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,302
Construction
starts tomorrow.

306
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,970
Uh-huh. I don't know
where Honey's head is at,

307
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,405
but it's not on the wheel.

308
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,942
Yesterday, she tried
to buy a number, Louis.

309
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:24,111
A number.

310
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,947
I just hope
she gets her head in the game.

311
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,517
Good night.

312
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,289
More wine, sweet pea?

313
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,997
**

314
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:48,001
The wheel looks so much smaller
in real life.

315
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,169
Are you trembling?

316
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,438
That's what happens
when you touch your dreams.

317
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:52,672
(inhales sharply)

318
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,875
Thanks for bringing me.

319
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,609
I'm gonna miss you
when you move out.

320
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,812
Oh, I didn't tell you?
That's not happening anymore.

321
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,949
Murray wouldn't agree to
repaint, so I withdrew my offer.

322
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,284
I told him, "I have all the time
in the world."

323
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,954
We could just stay with you
for as long as it takes.

324
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,856
(bell rings)

325
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,524
JESSICA AND AUDIENCE:
Wheel...of...

326
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,493
...Fortune!
...Fortune!

327
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,129
(cheers and applause)

328
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,465
(screams)

329
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,699
Yes!

330
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,837
-An N.
-Yes, three N's.

331
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:24,905
-(screams)
-There you go.

332
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,373
Yes!

333
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,208
Yeah!

334
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,211
Oh, no!

335
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,312
(exhales sharply)

336
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,081
I thought it was going
to land on Bankrupt,

337
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,483
but it landed
on the one after Bankrupt!

338
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,085
(exhales sharply)

339
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:41,554
Dentist...
dent...wash...

340
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,991
"Denzel Washington D.C.!"

341
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:45,725
You got it!
That's it!

342
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,427
(screams)

343
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,996
Okay, let's uh, find out
a little bit more

344
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,097
about our contestants.

345
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,432
Jessica, it says here
you're a horror novelist

346
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,566
and a real-estate mogul.

347
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,903
I don't know
which one of those is scarier.

348
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,238
(laughter)
Pat!

349
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,940
And, uh,
Honey is your best friend

350
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,441
and your business partner.

351
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,743
Honey, what's it like working
with your best friend?

352
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,845
Awful, Pat.
(laughter)

353
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,115
Well, working with friends
can be hard.

354
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,884
Especially when they start
stealing your yogurts

355
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,685
from the work fridge.

356
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,122
(gritting teeth)
If I see an unmarked Yoplait,

357
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,124
I'm eating it!

358
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,359
Let's move on
to round two.

359
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,029
Hey, Dave.

360
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:25,032
You can't be here, Eddie.
We're not friends anymore.

361
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:28,902
I know, but I need some advice,
and I have nowhere else to turn.

362
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,804
What do you do
if two girls like you?

363
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,206
I don't understand
the question.

364
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,408
I mean, what do you do
if you have a girlfriend,

365
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,210
but then this other girl
who's really cool

366
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,212
asks you to go eat chips
at The Spicy Gecko?

367
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,480
The Spicy Gecko?

368
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,649
That's the darkest
Mexican restaurant in town.

369
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,117
The only reason
anyone goes there

370
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,818
is to have
complete privacy.

371
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,820
What do I do?
(snaps fingers)

372
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,123
You should send yourself
flowers.

373
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,124
How does that help?

374
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,459
I don't know.

375
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,826
But my mom does it a lot.

376
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,964
LOUIS: ...and if we put
the wishing well here,

377
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,265
that frees up room for...

378
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,300
The hedge maze!
I knew you'd get it.

379
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,169
All that's left now
is to break ground.

380
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,303
You ready, son?

381
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,671
Is The Secret World
of Alex Mack

382
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,339
the best show
on television?

383
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,641
It is.
I'm ready, Dad.

384
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,612
(chuckles)
* Don't sweat the technique

385
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,647
* Let's trace the hits
and check the file *

386
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,783
* Let see who bit
to detect the style *

387
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:19,286
* I flip the script
so they can't get foul *

388
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,488
* At least not now,
it'll take a while *

389
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:24,124
* I change the pace
to complete the beat *

390
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:26,626
* Cause when I speak, they freak
to sweat the technique *

391
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:27,827
(echoing)
* The technique

392
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,997
(birdhouse creaking)

393
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,132
(ominous music plays)
It looks...

394
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,334
less welcoming
than in the drawing.

395
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,336
Why is it making
that weird creaking sound?

396
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,171
(creaking continues)

397
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,807
Oh, it's, uh, probably
just the floorboards settling.

398
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,176
Heh.
That's...normal.

399
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,713
(doorbell rings eerily)
Oh, uh, neat.

400
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,681
You didn't tell me
you put in a doorbell.

401
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,117
(hushed voice)
I didn't.

402
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:53,186
**

403
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,323
(chips crunching)

404
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:59,059
Good free chips.

405
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,294
Yeah.
Crunchy.

406
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,532
I'm glad we're doing this.

407
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,900
Right.
Me too.

408
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,503
There's something
I want to tell you,

409
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,805
but I don't want to
make things weird between us,

410
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,674
because I feel so comfortable
around you and --

411
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,044
Nicole.
I think you're awesome.

412
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,712
Any guy would be lucky to have
you as his girlfriend.

413
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,814
But I already have one --

414
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,817
Alison --
and she's great.

415
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:28,721
I'm sorry,
but my answer is no.

416
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,025
I think
I might like girls.

417
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,265
(chip crunches)

418
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,347
I'm sorry
if I made things weird.

419
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,950
I've never told anybody that
before.

420
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,521
And it feels really strange
saying it out loud.

421
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:02,922
Uh-huh.
Right.

422
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,559
But you're my friend,
and you're easy to talk to,

423
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:09,429
so I thought you would
understand, you know?
Yep.

424
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,731
Please don't tell anybody
yet.

425
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,600
I'm still
trying to figure stuff out.

426
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,102
Yeah, okay.

427
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,610
(sighs)

428
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:28,381
**

429
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,650
Uh, Eddie,
what are you doing?

430
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:35,054
What we talk about in the Saturn
stays in the Saturn, remember?

431
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:38,125
Which is good because
I have so many questions.

432
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,795
So when did you,
like, turn gay?

433
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,165
Well, you don't "turn."

434
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,166
I'm not a werewolf.

435
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,268
Interesting.

436
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,470
So does this change what kind of
jeans you're gonna wear?

437
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,971
Uh (laughing) no.

438
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:52,939
T!

439
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,109
No, there's no T.
I'm sorry.

440
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,177
Honey and Jessica?

441
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,312
We'd like to buy an O!

442
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,248
As in
"Overstaying Your Welcome."

443
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,082
Honey, we said no buying vowels.
They're a waste of money --

444
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,352
There are 11 O's!

445
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,254
(cheers and applause)

446
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,356
That's the hardest Vanna
will work in her life.

447
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,923
(gritting teeth)
Ignore him, Vanna.

448
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,525
Just do your job.

449
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:18,765
"Oo Oo Oo
I wanna be like You Oo Oo!"

450
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,367
That's it!
You got it!

451
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:25,004
And you win a two-week
best-friends cruise

452
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,473
to beautiful Cozumel!
Yes!

453
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,341
Yes!
More time together!

454
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,010
Honey, you can hold my purse
while I snorkel!

455
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,713
You know what?
No. That's it.

456
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,782
That's it.
I'm done, Jessica.

457
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,984
First,
you move your family in

458
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,352
and you take over
my entire house,

459
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,888
and then instead of looking
for a permanent place to live,

460
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,990
you take advantage
of my hospitality

461
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,992
and you spend
all of your time practicing

462
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,026
for this stupid game show.

463
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,296
And not once
did you say "thank you."

464
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,864
(audience oohs)

465
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,534
You said,
"Stay as long as you like."

466
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,136
If you wanted us to leave,
why didn't you just tell me?

467
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,038
Because I'm Southern.

468
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,874
We're built on hospitality
and charm.

469
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,412
We say things like,
"Aww, what a cute baby,"

470
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,480
and, "Your wedding
was beautiful,"

471
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:08,881
but we don't mean it.

472
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,517
We're very nice liars.

473
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:11,751
And you're supposed
to know that.

474
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,886
It's
an unspoken understanding.

475
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:17,990
Honey, I shouldn't have invited
you on this show.

476
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,592
You're not my best friend.

477
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:20,927
(audience gasps)

478
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,562
You're my family.

479
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,499
And where I come from,
it is an unspoken understanding

480
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,768
that you don't say thank you
to your family

481
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,370
because you don't need to.

482
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,440
You know they'll always
have your back

483
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,409
no matter how hard
things get.

484
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,578
And you will always
have theirs.

485
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,414
I think of you
like family, too.

486
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,617
Extended family who you love
but don't want to live with.

487
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,720
I'll call Murray back tonight,
and I will accept his offer.

488
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,856
What about him refusing
to repaint the house?

489
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,924
(voice breaking)
I'll make Eddie do it.

490
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,793
(audience awws)

491
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,062
(cheers and applause)

492
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,067
I'm sorry
we ruined Best Friends Week.

493
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:04,904
Real best friends fight
because they care.

494
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,407
Sometimes you're hardest
on the people

495
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,310
who...who matter to you
the most.

496
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,412
(exhales sharply)
Ding.

497
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,648
(voice breaking)
There's only one U.

498
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:16,949
(cheers and applause)

499
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,655
Well, thank you
for letting us stay.
You're welcome any time.

500
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,391
Southern, right?

501
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,893
Mm-hmm.
(laughs)

502
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:35,101
Well...nothing I can say.

503
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,806
Uh, what is that?

504
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,574
EMERY: It's a bird deck.

505
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:42,975
A not-haunted bird deck.

506
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,411
Trust us.
It's better this way.

507
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,945
(engine revving)

508
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,480
(tires screech, door slams)

509
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,650
Louis! Where you been?
I've been paging you all week!

510
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,119
What's going on?
We have an emergency.

511
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:58,090
Kenny Rogers' Michael Bolton's
Cattleman's Ranch?

512
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,125
Uh...

513
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,294
Michael!
What happened?

514
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,962
Kenny's a jealous man,
Louis.

515
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,665
An extremely wealthy,
jealous man.

516
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,368
He offered me
a ridiculous amount of money

517
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:09,836
for my half
of the restaurant.

518
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,203
But you said
I could lean on you!

519
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,305
You sang it!

520
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,006
I'll never forget you,
Louis.

521
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,875
And we did have
some great times, didn't we?

522
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,677
Did we?

523
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:24,317
(Louis sighs)
Looks like
The Gambler always wins.

524
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,486
**

525
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:32,058
-- Captions by VITA --