1
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,310
You sure they're gonna show?

2
00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:09,139
Hey, my hook-up always shows.

3
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,271
Have I ever let you down?

4
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:12,882
Did you bring any hard candy,
like I asked?

5
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,057
No.

6
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,232
There you go.

7
00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:18,192
♪♪

8
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:26,330
[car door closes]

9
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,332
'Sup, Hector? This him?

10
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,297
Think you can handle
our product?

11
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:39,604
I got more handles
than a yogurt shop.

12
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,263
Ghost peppers --
Hottest in the world.

13
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,092
[chuckles]

14
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,095
My ticket to winning
the North Orlando
Chili Cook-off.

15
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,749
Oh, it's gonna cost you.

16
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,229
Well, then,
it's a good thing

17
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,318
I own a semi-successful
restaurant.

18
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,929
How much?$1.75.

19
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,192
Each.

20
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,980
These guys are good.

21
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:11,941
♪ Fresh off the boat

22
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,377
♪ I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go ♪

23
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:15,292
♪ If you don't know, homey,
now you know ♪

24
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:17,033
♪ Fresh off the boat

25
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,253
♪ Homey, you don't know
where I come from ♪

26
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:20,732
♪ But I know where I'm goin'

27
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,213
♪ I'm fresh off the boat

28
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,563
♪♪

29
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:29,132
Jessica: [sighs]
The orderly flow of traffic.

30
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,700
[speaks Chinese]

31
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:34,398
This is called "zippering."

32
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:37,271
One car from one lane
and one car from another lane

33
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:41,013
merge to form
one single lane of efficiency.

34
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,146
It's amazing
what society can learn

35
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,191
from a pair of pants.

36
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:47,411
[speaking Chinese]

37
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:48,717
Excuse me.

38
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:52,199
Excuse me,
lady in the ugly vest?

39
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:53,287
I'm sorry.
Can I help you?

40
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,332
Oh, no.
I'm trying to help you.

41
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,769
There's a better way
to do your job.

42
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,162
Is there?

43
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,511
You should wear gloves

44
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,339
so that we can see your hands
when you gesture.

45
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,515
Much safer.
Think about it.

46
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,866
Have you ever seen a dead mime
in the street?

47
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,956
[school bell ringing]

48
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,393
What is that?

49
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:13,959
Well, it's the sun.

50
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,744
Not our sun.

51
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,746
Well, I heard the moon
is made out of cheese.

52
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,182
You balance me out, J.J.

53
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,402
That's why
we're best friends.

54
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:25,841
Hi, Mrs. Huang.

55
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,408
It's five days
till my birthday!

56
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,192
Okay, thank you, J.J.

57
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,194
Tomorrow,
it'll be four days.

58
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:34,589
Go to your own car now, J.J.
Bye.

59
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,808
Evan: I can't wait
for J.J.'s birthday party.

60
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:39,594
There's talk of
a Grover ice-cream cake!

61
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:42,597
Oh, and look what I got
on my science test.

62
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,468
Oh. An A-plus.

63
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:49,212
There it is! [laughs]

64
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,519
Nice work, my angel!

65
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:56,001
Louis, you old sneak!

66
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,395
Signing up for
the North Orlando Chili Cook-Off

67
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,484
without telling me,
you son of a gun!

68
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,791
Marvin, I didn't know
you were a chili man.

69
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,096
You see this bad boy?

70
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,924
It's for cooking
the wild boar

71
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,449
that's in my famous
Navy Razorback Chili.

72
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,451
Sounds pretty good.Pretty good?

73
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:13,280
My wild pig brew has won
the last five Golden Stockpots.

74
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,499
You know,
I'm not stranger to the ladle.

75
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:18,023
I, uh, won a few chili contests
myself back in D.C.

76
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,416
Oh, is that right?
Mm-hmm.

77
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,157
Well,
down here in Orlando,

78
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,898
we have a name
for Yankee chili.

79
00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,421
It's called "soup."

80
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,382
[both laugh]

81
00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:31,254
You know what I think
when I eat Southern chili?What?

82
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:34,605
I think, "This could use
a little Northern chili."

83
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:37,652
♪♪

84
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,310
So, I point to the old man's
shopping cart, and I say,

85
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:46,704
"You're supposed to get
frozen foods last, not first.

86
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,271
If that meat defrosts,

87
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,317
you could get salmonella
and die."

88
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,058
You do have an eye
for other people's mistakes.

89
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,277
Thank you.

90
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:58,542
[door closes]Anyone see my apron?!

91
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,283
Don't mind him.

92
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,546
Louis just gets obsessed
with these chili competitions.

93
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,156
You don't have to tell me.

94
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,071
Chili season's
got my man, too.

95
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,551
Really?
Yeah.

96
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:08,726
I have to go help him
clean out

97
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,467
our garage fridge
to store a pig.

98
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:13,470
He insists on the head
facing out.

99
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,559
He says it honors the hog.

100
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:16,430
Oh.
I'll see you
in a bit.

101
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,345
Okay.
Bye.

102
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:20,912
After dinner, can we watch
"Caroline in the City"?

103
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,436
What?
No way.

104
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:25,656
[speaking Chinese]

105
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,920
Louis:
Eddie, you won't be watching
any TV this week.

106
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,532
You'll be helping me win

107
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:34,665
the North Orlando
Chili Cook-Off...

108
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,493
as my apprentice.

109
00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,147
Really?!
You never let me help.

110
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,714
You said I have to be
five pots tall.

111
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,585
You are now, son.

112
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:44,588
I'm so excited for you.
[chuckles]

113
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,373
You're giving me your apron?

114
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:47,809
Yes, to hand-wash for me,

115
00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,376
and then you'll
give it back to me.

116
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,381
Can we drink something else
besides water at dinner?

117
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,773
No. Water hydrates you.

118
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,340
And if you spill it,
it cleans, not stains.

119
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,689
Very well.

120
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,125
One final question.

121
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,171
Dad, can I have
your old briefcase?

122
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,608
Why?I'd like to start

123
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,784
carrying it to school
to keep my papers crisp.

124
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,570
But you already
have a backpack.I didn't have a briefcase
until I was 30.

125
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,964
[school bell rings]

126
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,753
[speaking Chinese]

127
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,407
If you hate this so much,

128
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,409
why do you insist on
coming along?

129
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,324
[speaking Chinese]

130
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:31,418
[sighs]

131
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,768
And now it is my turn.

132
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,206
Hey, it was my turn!

133
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:38,947
She didn't zipper!

134
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:41,079
[horn blares]Hey!

135
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,472
Hey,
you didn't zipper!

136
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:45,432
Hey.
She didn't zipper!

137
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,608
It's out of
my un-gloved hands.

138
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,394
Watch the car.

139
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:56,312
♪ Life never tells us♪Hey!

140
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,010
♪ The whens or whys♪Hey!
I know you see me!

141
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,186
♪ When you've got friends♪You cut me off

142
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,275
when it was my turn
to zipper!

143
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:06,453
♪ To wish you well♪That's not how we drive
around here!

144
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:07,845
♪ You'll find a point when♪There's no zippering rule.

145
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,456
It's more of a suggestion.

146
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:10,457
Calm down.

147
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,414
♪ You will exhale♪

148
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,504
"Calm down"?
Youcalm down!

149
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,637
♪ Shoop, shoop, shoop♪You know what?
Get out of the car.

150
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,899
♪ Shoo-be, doop,
shoop, shoop♪

151
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,422
Help, help,
I'm being attacked!

152
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,119
You're not
being attacked.

153
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,513
She's not being attacked.

154
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,428
Nobody help this idiot.

155
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,995
You are a crazy lady.

156
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,126
I can't believe somebody

157
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,693
gave you
a driver's license

158
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:32,522
because you're an unfit driver
and an idiot.

159
00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:33,567
Evan: Mommy?

160
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,136
J.J.: Oh, hi, mom.Hi, J.J.

161
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,704
Oh. Hi, Mrs. Huang.Hi, J.J.

162
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,801
You don't have to drive
all the way up to school.

163
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,499
You can just
drop us off here.

164
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:55,458
Jessica: Here? Why?It's just calmer here.

165
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:58,287
Is this about yesterday?

166
00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,289
Listen, sometimes
when one adult is right,

167
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,725
they have to tell
the other adult

168
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:02,900
that they're wrong.

169
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,902
But that was
my best friend's mom.

170
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:07,470
Well, she drives like
your worstfriend's mom.

171
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:10,255
[chuckles]

172
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,605
The traffic disputes
of adults

173
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,650
have no impact on
the friendships of children.

174
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,740
[school bell rings]

175
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,742
Of course.

176
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,092
Bye, mom.

177
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,617
Emery: Bye, mom.
Bye.

178
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:24,487
Hey, Evan.

179
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,750
Hi, J.J.

180
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,491
You have a raisin
on your neck.

181
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,623
Oh.

182
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,582
It's from breakfast.
Ha!

183
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,633
Good.
Now I have your fingerprints

184
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,373
in case I need to send them
to the state.

185
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:42,505
Evan's not invited to

186
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,812
J.J.'s birthday party
this weekend.

187
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:53,473
Son,
welcome to the flavor dome.

188
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,214
Cool. When do we eat.

189
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:58,565
When the chili
tells us it's ready.

190
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,784
This is the start
of a family legacy,

191
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,612
like when
an Italian grandmother

192
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,179
passes down
a meatball recipe.

193
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,397
It's like, um,

194
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:06,529
[Italian accent]
"Mama Louis!"

195
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:09,445
[normal voice]
Now, let's start

196
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,100
by chopping up
these onions.

197
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:13,536
Whoa.

198
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,103
You're gonna let me
use this knife?

199
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:17,497
Of course.
You're my apprentice.

200
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,239
Any last words?

201
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:24,242
Uh, maybe we work on
some knife skills first, okay?

202
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,809
All right.

203
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:28,508
♪♪

204
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,565
[both blowing]

205
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,052
Not bad.Not bad at all.

206
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,706
[screams]
What are you doing?

207
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,098
We spent forever on that!

208
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,841
Eddie, what were
your first words

209
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:58,973
after you tried the chili?

210
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,365
I said, "Not bad."

211
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:01,236
Exactly.

212
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,629
"Not bad" isn't good enough.

213
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,848
And "good" isn't good enough,
either.

214
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,764
Marvin is out there
cooking a wild boar right now --

215
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,853
a pig from the forest.

216
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,681
We need to reach higher

217
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:14,162
if we want
that Golden Stockpot.

218
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,468
Okay, dad,
if we're making this again,

219
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,689
I think we should
toast some cumin
in some bacon fat

220
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:20,603
before we put the meat in.

221
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,170
Let me stop you right there.

222
00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:24,694
You know why your mom's
not allowed in the dome?

223
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:25,695
Because she futzes.

224
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:26,740
She adds things.

225
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,611
"Oh, how about
a little more oregano?

226
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,526
Let's add
a sprig of rosemary."

227
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,442
No!
This isn't a bowl of jazz!

228
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,447
Who does that woman
think she is,

229
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,798
deciding who can
and can't attend her
son's birthday party?

230
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,452
She's not God.

231
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:44,888
That's nice.

232
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,803
Stop thinking about
your chili!

233
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,892
How am I
supposed to tell Evan

234
00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:51,634
he's not invited to
J.J.'s birthday party?

235
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,288
Just apologize to her.

236
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,551
Why would Iapologize?

237
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,422
She didn't zipper!

238
00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:59,207
She's the one who's wrong!

239
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,425
Well, what would be wrong

240
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,731
is if Evan
didn't go to the party

241
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:02,906
because of something
youdid.

242
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:06,214
Honey: [screams]
Damn it, Marvin!

243
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:08,564
Get this beast
out of the garage fridge!

244
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,174
Marvin:
We need to honor the hog!

245
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,489
[sighs]

246
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,885
Let's start over.

247
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:27,148
I'm Jessica,
Evan's mother.

248
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,498
I'm Helen.

249
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,892
Helen.
That's a pretty name.

250
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:35,112
It's like melon,
a sweet fruit.

251
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:39,464
I'm here because
I would like to...

252
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:42,946
acknowledge
a mutual wrongdoing.

253
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,861
Okay...

254
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,733
You didn't
respect the zipper,

255
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:49,257
and I lost my temper,

256
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,520
even though I was provoked
by your error.

257
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,263
I think I'm being
pretty clear.

258
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:58,048
You're not.

259
00:10:58,092 --> 00:11:01,748
[sighs]
It is for Evan, my angel.

260
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:06,535
I am sorry.

261
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:09,625
Thank you very much
for saying that.

262
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,974
I-I accept your apology.

263
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,063
[chuckles]

264
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:16,197
Oh, I am so glad
we put this behind us.

265
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,853
Evan is so excited
for J.J.'s birthday party.

266
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,811
Oh, Evan still isn't invited.
Bye, now.

267
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:27,208
♪♪

268
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,514
Eddie!
Why didn't you tell me?

269
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:32,082
Tell you what?About your dad competing
in NO-CO!

270
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,911
The North Orlando
Chili Cook-Off.

271
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,783
Yeah, he's been making me
help him out.

272
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:39,394
Hold on.

273
00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:40,917
He's letting you
chili apprentice?

274
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:43,137
All we do is cook chili
and not eat any of it.

275
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,574
He keeps on saying
it needs to be better,

276
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,663
but he doesn't take
any of my ideas.

277
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,143
You believe this guy?

278
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:51,362
Two days in a chili kitchen,
thinks he knows everything.

279
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,625
Why would your dad
listen to you?

280
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:54,844
You're not a chef.

281
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,193
Yeah, but I know food.

282
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,629
Blindfold me
in a Baskin-Robbins,

283
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:58,892
and I'll name
all 31 flavors.

284
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,197
You're the apprentice.

285
00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:01,851
You're supposed to shut up,
listen, and learn.

286
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,461
But I'm not good
at any of those things.

287
00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,115
Forget this.

288
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,943
I'm done
cooking with my dad.

289
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,772
[scoffs]

290
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,774
You need to take that attitude
to a pie-eating contest

291
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,602
where it belongs!

292
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,783
Mom, which outfit
should I wear to J.J.'s?

293
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,220
I want something
I can knock around in,

294
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,396
but my knees
have been ashy lately,

295
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,007
so shorts are out.

296
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,704
[sighs]

297
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,923
Evan, sit down.

298
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,446
There's something
I have to tell you.

299
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,490
What is it?

300
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:34,884
I...

301
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:40,063
I have to get gas
on the way to J.J.'s.

302
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:42,587
Oh, then we need to leave
10 minutes earlier.

303
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,328
I better hustle
into the shower.

304
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,464
The Mobil on 5th
is 10 cents cheaper.[screams]

305
00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,901
Emery, we have to get you
a cat bell.

306
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:54,512
Announce yourself
when I come into the room.

307
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:55,949
Good God!

308
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,820
Ohh!Hmm.

309
00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,256
[doorbell rings]

310
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,997
[indistinct conversations]

311
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,651
Hello, Helen.
Evan is here.

312
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:05,045
You guys, I'm here!

313
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:07,874
What are you doing?

314
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,223
You can't just crash
my son's birthday party.

315
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,964
Evan doesn't
deserve to miss out

316
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,096
because you have a problem
with me.

317
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,837
We shouldn't make this
about us.

318
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,100
No, we shouldn't,
because it's not about us.

319
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,014
It's about Evan.

320
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,711
What are you talking about.

321
00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:21,104
[scoffs]

322
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,758
That's why
I didn't want him here.

323
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,933
See for yourself.

324
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,065
Evan:
No, no, no, no, no.

325
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,849
You're doing it wrong.

326
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,634
What are pirate Lego men doing

327
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,332
at a construction site?

328
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,334
Tear this down
and start again.

329
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,465
Okay!

330
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,728
My son is a gentle spirit,

331
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,513
and I don't like the way
your son treats him.

332
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,254
That's why
I didn't want him here.

333
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:44,258
My job is to protect J.J.
from your little bossy boots.

334
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,260
Evan's not bossy boots!

335
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,001
He's angel boots!

336
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:48,871
[scoffs]

337
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:52,048
What...on earth...
is that?

338
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,876
It's the --Don't say it's the sun.

339
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:04,017
Evan was really
bossing his friend around?

340
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,889
Sweet little Evan
in his cute, little khakis?

341
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,804
The ones with the pleats,
yes.

342
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,112
I just don't know
where he learns this
type of behavior.

343
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,027
You're kidding, right?

344
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,899
He gets it from you,
Jessica.

345
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,814
What?! No, he doesn't.

346
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,250
Yes, he does.

347
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,252
I think
he just looks up to you --

348
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,124
You're not doing it right.

349
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,516
Sorry?Your sandwich --

350
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,171
The mustard needs
to go on the bread first

351
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,174
to form a moisture barrier
between it and the tomato.

352
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,915
Tear it down.
Start again.

353
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,571
Oh, my God.

354
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:40,096
You've never made
a proper sandwich.

355
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:42,403
Or you're bossy.

356
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:47,060
You just love pointing out
people's mistakes.

357
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,410
I thought
that was a compliment.

358
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:50,802
♪♪

359
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:53,718
Gus:
Good afternoon, Orlando.

360
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,372
This is
"Good Morning, Orlando."

361
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,157
And let me tell you, Mey-Mey,

362
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,941
we are having an awful lot
of fun here at NO-CO.

363
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,290
[chuckles]

364
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:01,988
Not really, Gus,
but what can you do?

365
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,337
You got to go
where they send you.

366
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,382
[chuckles]
Now let's meet the judges

367
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,603
who will be awarding
the coveted Golden Stockpot

368
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:09,430
to the winner.

369
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:10,779
Hi.
Hello!

370
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,085
[both laugh]

371
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,216
It's us. That's right.

372
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,436
Not only are we reporting
on the chili,

373
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:17,003
but we're also judging it.

374
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:20,571
Ohh, things are about to get
caliente!

375
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:23,748
I see you brought
your Golden Stockpots.

376
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:27,187
Ah, I only brought them
to hold down my banner.

377
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,624
[chuckles]

378
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,800
Are you posing for a picture,
Marvin?

379
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,976
Oh, just in case
someone wants to take one.

380
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,979
Here you go.Ha. Thanks.

381
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,155
Mm-hmm. Official list of
all your competitors.

382
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:40,809
Good luck.

383
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,377
Wow, there's a lot of entries
on here.

384
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,379
Big Daddy Huang?

385
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:48,164
That's not right.
I'm Louis' Five Alarm.Eddie: That's me.

386
00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:50,384
I'm Big Daddy Huang.

387
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,821
What?
Sorry, dad.

388
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,475
I'm done
being your apprentice.

389
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,825
We've been cooking
for three days.

390
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,131
Exactly.

391
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,046
And you didn't take
a single one of my ideas.

392
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,134
I'm not about that.

393
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,223
I got to break these chains.

394
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,225
Fine, you want to make
your own chili?

395
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:08,358
Like the French candle says
in "Beauty and the Beast,"

396
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,012
"Be My Guest."

397
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,580
♪ Everybody over here ♪ Get on up

398
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,364
♪ Everybody right there ♪ Get into it

399
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:16,801
♪ Everybody over there ♪ Get involved

400
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,847
♪ Everybody just, ohh

401
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,154
Man [rapping]:
♪ Microphone check,
Microphone check ♪

402
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,069
♪ Can I get a check-up
from the neck up? ♪

403
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,071
♪ Can I kick a rhyme
while I'm checkin' my time? ♪

404
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,508
♪ Can I get cure 'cause you did
the crime for sure? ♪

405
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,250
♪ You're probably killin' me
with these shots ♪

406
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,295
♪ Tell me what I got
and I'm gone ♪

407
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,036
♪ Pandemic, who did it?

408
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,516
♪ Right, who did it?
That's who did it ♪

409
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:38,432
♪ Who? World Health Organized,
murderized ♪

410
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,173
♪ Came to the aid and got paid

411
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,871
♪ Doctor, doctor in a lab
concocted a germ warfare...♪

412
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,700
Emery, go get us some Tums
from the Tums tent.On it.

413
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,398
[sighs]

414
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,574
Let's sit down for a minute,
okay?

415
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,275
I saw you at J.J.'s party.

416
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:56,406
I saw you, too.

417
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,973
You brought me there.

418
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,758
No, I mean I saw the way
you were talking to him,

419
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,412
bossing him around
like that,

420
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,066
forcing him to start over,

421
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,850
making him
change his outfit.

422
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,069
Oh.

423
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,071
And I know why.

424
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:13,075
You're trying to be like me
because you worship me.

425
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,337
No, I don't.

426
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,686
Yes, you do.I don't.

427
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,124
You do.
You worship your mommy.

428
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,690
I am your shining star,

429
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:21,301
and you want to be
just like me.

430
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,346
Why else would you boss
your friend around like that?

431
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,739
I don't know.

432
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,219
I guess because
he listens to me.

433
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:27,437
What do you mean?

434
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,439
No one at home ever
listens to me.

435
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,875
Of course we do.

436
00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,138
We listen to you.

437
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,574
No, you don't.

438
00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:35,097
After dinner, can we watch

439
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,011
"Caroline in the City"?

440
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,143
What?
No way.

441
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,362
Dad, can I have
your old briefcase?

442
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:41,756
But you already
have a backpack.I didn't have a briefcase
until I was 30.

443
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,107
[speaking Chinese]

444
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,500
Huh?

445
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,285
[speaking Chinese]
The Garfield.

446
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,896
Why didn't you tell me
you felt this way?

447
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,811
Because you wouldn't have
listened.

448
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,120
I guess sometimes it's hard
being the youngest.

449
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:04,170
Hey.
I know how you feel.

450
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:08,217
Your Aunt Connie
never listened to me.

451
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,263
That's why her life
is such a mess now.

452
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,829
[chuckles]

453
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:15,355
I bought all
the regular-strength Tums.

454
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:16,921
Exchange them
for Extra Strength?

455
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,053
Yes.

456
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,926
[indistinct conversations]

457
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,407
Where are all
your measuring cups?

458
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,843
Up here. Want a taste?

459
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:32,850
What's wrong?

460
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,461
Eddie, that's delicious.

461
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,203
There's no way you made this
from scratch.

462
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:38,421
[bell clanging]

463
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:39,553
Gus: Gather around.

464
00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:40,641
Where's the intern?

465
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:42,295
I need another towel.

466
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,426
Ashley!

467
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:44,775
All right, everyone,

468
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,864
before we announce
our finalists,

469
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:49,084
we have some
unfortunate news.

470
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,217
An entrant
has been disqualified

471
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,175
for using
pre-cooked meat.I knew it.

472
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,307
[crowd murmurs]

473
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,222
That's right, Gus.

474
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:57,440
It's Marvin!

475
00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,268
[crowd murmurs]

476
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:00,965
Apparently,
Marvin not only told us,

477
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,229
but fed us...

478
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,317
a Whopper.

479
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,187
[crowd booing]

480
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,449
I did it for the chili.

481
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,234
Take him away.
[spits]

482
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,845
I can walk.

483
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,369
You all ate it
and loved it!

484
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,458
None of us are innocent.

485
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,373
And now let's move on to
the three finalists.

486
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:20,202
First we have...

487
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,204
Louis' Five Alarm!

488
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,424
Yeah, Louis![laughs] Delicious.

489
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:27,340
[cheers and applause]Next we have
Big Daddy Huang!

490
00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:28,863
Whoo![cheers and applause]

491
00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:30,908
And lastly,
Gloria's Chili!

492
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:34,129
Whoo!
Gloria! Gloria!

493
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:38,394
And the Golden Stockpot
goes to...

494
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,664
Looks great, doesn't it?

495
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:50,450
I can't believe Gloria
just gave it to us.

496
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:52,582
Well, lucky for us,
she thinks pride is a sin.

497
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:55,368
Hmm.
You know, I have to say

498
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,370
I was really impressed
with your chili.

499
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,154
Really?!
How'd you learn
to do that?

500
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,938
I guess I just know food.

501
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,289
Thanks for teaching me
the basics.

502
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:04,507
Oh, the basics?

503
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,074
[chuckles] Okay.

504
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,685
It has been
brought to my attention

505
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:12,646
that Evan feels like nobody
listens to him around here.

506
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,474
So tonight,

507
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,606
he gets to choose
what we drink with dinner.

508
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:17,738
Really?

509
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,392
Why does he
get to choose?

510
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:22,308
[speaking Chinese]

511
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:25,398
You will all drink
what Evan decides,
and you will like it!

512
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:26,877
Okay, go ahead, Evan.

513
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,488
Anything you want.

514
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,707
I choose...

515
00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:31,839
Shirley Temples.

516
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:33,971
Ohh.
What is that?

517
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,104
It's 7-Up with grenadine
and cherries.

518
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:38,324
I don't have
any of those ingredients, so...

519
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,239
Then we'll just have
passion fruit nectar.

520
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:42,458
Strawberry Fanta?

521
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,244
Ginger Fizz-Bit?

522
00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:47,376
[groans]

523
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:53,991
Hi, J.J.

524
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:55,210
Hi, Evan.

525
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,387
It's 362 days
until my birthday.

526
00:20:58,431 --> 00:20:59,432
I'll time out my haircuts

527
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:00,998
so I can get one
the day before.

528
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,087
Oh.

529
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:05,438
What do you think?
It's a picture of my brother.

530
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:08,658
We can't have a dog
because of his allergies.

531
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:10,094
I like it.

532
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:11,792
Really?

533
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:14,185
You don't think there's
anything I should change?

534
00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:15,274
No, it's great.

535
00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:21,802
Nice hard backpack.

536
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:22,933
It's a briefcase.

537
00:21:22,977 --> 00:21:25,284
[laughing]