1 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,073 EMERY, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR DINNER AT HONEY AND MARVIN'S. 2 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,207 WHY AREN'T YOU READY? 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,341 SORRY. JUST GIVE ME ONE SECOND. 4 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:08,809 I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY LOVE WALL. 5 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,378 Jessica: LOVE WALL? 6 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,646 I'M DECORATING MY ROOM WITH ALL THE VALENTINES I GOT 7 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,014 FROM THE GIRLS IN MY CLASS. 8 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,417 YOU GIVE LOVE, YOU GET LOVE. 9 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,520 I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GET THIS ROMANTIC SIDE FROM, 10 00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,590 BUT THIS WALL LOOKS PRETTY COOL. 11 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,425 "COOL." DID I USE THAT WORD RIGHT? 12 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,726 COOL. 13 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,195 I GET IT FROM YOU TWO. 14 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:30,264 WHAT'S MORE ROMANTIC THAN MEETING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE 15 00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:31,999 AND LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER? 16 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,401 WE MET AT A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 17 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:35,269 WAITING IN LINE FOR THE BATHROOM. 18 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:36,537 I BET IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. 19 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,005 WE BOTH HAD FOOD POISONING. 20 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,740 AND LOVE POISONING. 21 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,344 OH, THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I EVER ORDERED AN OCTOPUS PO' BOY. 22 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:48,682 I LOST TWO POUNDS BUT GAINED A WIFE. 23 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,883 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 24 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,519 * I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO * 25 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,687 * IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW * 26 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,022 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 27 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,191 * HOMEY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM * 28 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,859 * BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 29 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,395 * I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 30 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,932 MM. IT'S TOO BAD GRANDMA HUANG COULDN'T COME. 31 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,767 SHE LOVES MY ENCHILADAS. 32 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,103 YEAH. SHE'S OUT OF TOWN AT A MAH-JONGG TOURNAMENT. 33 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:11,405 I THINK THIS IS THE YEAR SHE FINALLY DOESN'T GET IN A FIGHT. 34 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,641 [ CHUCKLES ] OH, SPEAKING OF OUT OF TOWN, 35 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,877 NICOLE'S WITH HER MOM THIS WEEK, SO WE WENT OUT LAST NIGHT... 36 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,547 Both: AFRO-BRAZILIAN DANCING! 37 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,316 YOU SAID THAT LOUDER THAN EXPECTED. 38 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,085 WE WENT TO CHI-CHI'S AND DANCED THE NIGHT AWAY. 39 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,588 THE ROOM COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED, 40 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:31,058 AND IT WAS JUST MARVIN AND I ALONE ON THE DANCE FLOOR. 41 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,228 OUR SOULS UNIFIED INTO ONE MEGA-SOUL. 42 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,596 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 43 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,830 MM. MM. 44 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,833 SIMILAR STORY. 45 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:43,604 I WAS RUNNING AN OPEN HOUSE, AND I SPOTTED A COCKROACH. 46 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:47,641 IT WAS JUST ME AND THAT ROACH IN A DANCE FOR SURVIVAL. 47 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:51,145 I DIDN'T USE BUG SPRAY. OH, NO. THAT'S TOO EASY. 48 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,181 I PREFER A BATTLE OF A WITS. 49 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,848 [ CHUCKLES ] 50 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,751 * ...MANY TIMES I WONDER HOW 'BOUT YOU, DAY AND NIGHT * 51 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,320 SO, HOW'D ALISON LIKE 52 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:00,988 THE JANET JACKSON CONCERT TICKETS 53 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,456 YOU GOT HER FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 54 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:03,857 SHE FLIPPED. 55 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,793 WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOMORROW NIGHT. 56 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,628 NOW ALL I GOT TO DO IS WIN TICKETS AND I'M GOOD. 57 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,163 WIN THE TICKETS? 58 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,131 YOU GAVE HER TICKETS YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE? 59 00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:13,834 WE BOTH KNOW I BLEW ALL MY MONEY ON THAT SNAKE THAT RAN AWAY. 60 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:17,271 BUT WDOY 94.8 IS HAVING A CALL-IN TICKET GIVEAWAY 61 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,539 ALL DAY TOMORROW. 62 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,541 MY BOY TRENT'S COMING OVER TO HELP. 63 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,876 WE'LL BE CALLING FROM THE PHONE LINE AND THE FAX LINE. 64 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,812 I'LL BE LIKE, "BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP. 65 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,481 HELLO? YES? I WON! GREAT! 66 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:28,849 OH, HOLD ON. I GOT ANOTHER CALL." 67 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:29,950 [ CLICKS ] 68 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,219 "HELLO? GOD? 69 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,020 OH, YOU'RE CALLING TO CONGRATULATE ME." 70 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,455 SO, I WAS A LITTLE SKEPTICAL 71 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,056 ABOUT TAKING A COUPLES' COOKING CLASS. 72 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:36,990 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 73 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,492 HE HAS THIS WORRY 74 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,493 THAT HIS KNUCKLE HAIR WILL GET IN THE FOOD. 75 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:40,794 [ CHUCKLES ] 76 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,797 BUT WHEN I SAW HER MAKING THAT PIZZA... MM. 77 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,299 ...KNEADING THE DOUGH, 78 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,436 POUNDING IT WITH HER LITTLE FIST... 79 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,307 SWEETHEART, I THINK I HEAR A WATER LEAK IN THE BEDROOM. 80 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:54,475 OH, NO. WE SHOULD GO CHECK ON IT. 81 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,409 WE SHOULD. YEAH. 82 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,277 [ BOTH GIGGLE ] 83 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,682 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 84 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,584 THEY'RE NOT COMING BACK, ARE THEY? 85 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:04,852 PROBABLY NOT. 86 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,187 WATER LEAKS TAKE A LONG TIME TO FIX. 87 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,859 I FEEL BAD WE NEVER WENT BACK OUT THERE FOR DINNER. 88 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,395 OH, THEY'RE FINE. WE HEARD THEM LEAVE. 89 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,363 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. 90 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,897 I ALSO HEARD THE SOUND OF TINFOIL, 91 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,666 SO I THINK JESSICA WRAPPED UP OUR COUNTRY HAM 92 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,933 AND TOOK IT WITH HER. [ CHUCKLES ] 93 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:20,868 [ CHUCKLES ] 94 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,403 HEY, DID YOU NOTICE 95 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,837 THAT ALL OF THEIR STORIES TONIGHT WERE ABOUT WORK? 96 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,273 WELL, BOOPSY, YOU KNOW, 97 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,241 THEY HAVE TWO BUSINESSES AND THREE KIDS. 98 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,510 THEY DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A SOCIAL LIFE TO TALK ABOUT. 99 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,445 I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT, CUDDLEPUSS. 100 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,447 MEANWHILE, EVERY OTHER WEEK IS LIKE OUR HONEYMOON 101 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,716 WITH NICOLE BEING AT HER MOTHER'S HOUSE. 102 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,718 AWW, OUR HONEYMOON. [ CHUCKLES ] 103 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,720 I MISS "BARTHELONA." 104 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,855 OH, BARTHELONA WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS. 105 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:42,856 [ CHUCKLES ] 106 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,625 YOU KNOW WHAT? 107 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,026 TOMORROW'S VALENTINE'S DAY, 108 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,095 AND I BET JESSICA AND LOUIS AREN'T DOING ANYTHING. 109 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,430 HMM. 110 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,265 WHAT IF WE OFFER TO BABYSIT THE KIDS 111 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,467 AND GIVE THEM A ROMANTIC NIGHT ALONE? 112 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,902 THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! 113 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,604 YEAH? YEAH. 114 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,872 IT'LL BE FUN SEEING THE BOYS RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE. 115 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,442 [ CHUCKLES ] TEACH THEM HOW TO CHOP WOOD. 116 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,977 MAYBE I COULD SHOW THEM MY TRAINS. 117 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,914 [ Dialing, busy signal ] 118 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,882 [ Dialing, busy signal ] 119 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,651 [ Dialing, busy signal ] 120 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,453 I HAVE TO WIZ! 121 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,487 DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. 122 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,756 I HAD TO GO 30 MINUTES AGO. IT GOES AWAY. 123 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,325 [ Ringing ] 124 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,059 IT'S RINGING. 125 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,728 YES. HELLO? 126 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,229 TRENT MASTERSON, SIR. 127 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,431 I WON?! 128 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:24,465 TWO TICKETS?! 129 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,666 I WON! 130 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:26,834 Both: YES! 131 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,302 WE DID IT! 132 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,504 ALISON'S GONNA BE SO HAPPY SHE CAN GO WITH ME. 133 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,740 YEAH, MAN. SUPER HAPPY FOR YOU. 134 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,007 GLAD I COULD HELP. 135 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,745 I'M STILL ON THE AIR? 136 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,747 CLASS OF '97 RULES! 137 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,315 [ CHUCKLES ] 138 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:44,752 THANK YOU, HONEY. THAT'S SUCH A NICE OFFER. 139 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:48,121 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA TALK TO LOUIS, AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW. 140 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,490 HONEY'S GOT A SET OF BALLS. 141 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,991 WHAT'S WRONG? 142 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,293 SHE AND MARVIN ARE OFFERING TO TAKE OUR KIDS TONIGHT 143 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,795 SO WE CAN HAVE A VALENTINE'S DATE. 144 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,597 [ SCOFFS ] YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? 145 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,165 THEY THINK WE NEED HELP?! 146 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,267 HELP? UM, NO, THANKS. 147 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,637 GO HELP THE ANDERSONS' KID. HE'S ALWAYS HUMPING THE BUSHES. 148 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,508 WELL... 149 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:11,144 NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, IT MIGHT NOT BE THE WORST IDEA. 150 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:14,948 I MEAN, THE KIDS AREN'T AROUND. IT'LL BE NICE AND QUIET. 151 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,450 WE COULD, UM... 152 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:18,051 YOU KNOW... 153 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,887 THAT'S TRUE. 154 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,955 WE COULD REALLY TAKE OUR TIME. 155 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,323 NOT RUSH IT. 156 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,192 HMM. I HATE WHEN WE RUSH IT. 157 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,561 I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M FORGETTING SOMETHING. 158 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:28,862 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 159 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,033 HEY, MAN. YOU PICK UP THE TICKETS ALREADY? 160 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,735 THAT'S DOPE! THANKS. 161 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,839 "MEMBER OF THE RHYTHM NATION"? 162 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,742 SINCE 1991. 163 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,878 THE RHYTHM NATION IS BUILT ON HONESTY AND, OBVIOUSLY, RHYTHM. 164 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,880 I TRIED TO BE OKAY WITH GIVING THE TICKETS 165 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,249 TO YOU AND ALISON, BUT I'M JANET'S BIGGEST FAN. 166 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,251 IT'S UNFAIR TO JANET IF I'M NOT THERE. 167 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,153 BUT ALISON'S SUPER EXCITED TO GO. 168 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,590 I'M HAPPY TO TAKE ALISON, BUT WE WON ON MY DIAL. 169 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:59,359 SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO TAKE ONE OF THOSE TICKETS. 170 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,061 LET ME BE CLEAR. 171 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,596 I'M SEEING JANET. 172 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,034 THANKS AGAIN FOR TAKING THE KIDS TONIGHT. 173 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,602 [ CHUCKLES ] OF COURSE. OUR PLEASURE. 174 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,203 MM-HMM. 175 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,673 I LOVE THAT YOU TWO ARE MAKING THIS VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL. 176 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,074 WELL, SO DO WE. YES. 177 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,709 WHERE'S EDDIE? 178 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,611 OH, WE'RE DROPPING HIM OFF AT THE JANET JACKSON CONCERT 179 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:18,779 ON THE WAY TO DINNER. 180 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,715 FUN FACT -- I GAVE JERMAINE A ROOT CANAL IN '87. 181 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,116 -HMM. -OH. 182 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,052 SO...WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO DINNER? 183 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,120 OH, UH, I PULLED A FEW STRINGS 184 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,022 AND GOT US A TABLE AT CHEZ FRANçAIS. 185 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,124 [ French accent ] HON, HON, HON. 186 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,527 WE MIGHT ALSO GO DANCING AFTER. 187 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,563 IN FACT, WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING. YEAH. 188 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,397 [ Singsong voice ] NOT WITHOUT A PICTURE. 189 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,567 [ CHUCKLES ] AWW. 190 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,570 UH, DAD, STAND BEHIND MOM. 191 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,804 UH, OKAY. 192 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,205 AND THEN -- GOOD. OKAY. 193 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,408 SO, WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND HER WAIST. 194 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:52,079 A LITTLE BIT MORE...UNDER. UNDER HER ARMS. 195 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,113 UNDER THE PURSE. 196 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,782 UNDER THE PURSE. OKAY. 197 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:55,649 OKAY. [ SIGHS ] 198 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,518 OKAY. PERFECT. 199 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,754 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 200 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,491 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 201 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,958 TRENT! 202 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,293 I KNEW IT WOULD BE YOU. 203 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,795 I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE IF IT WAS HER, 204 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,964 BUT TWO DUDES AT A JANET JACKSON CONCERT ON VALENTINE'S DAY? 205 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,666 THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. 206 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,334 * OH, YOU NASTY BOYS 207 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,336 * NASTY, NASTY BOYS 208 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,905 * DON'T MEAN A THING 209 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,840 * DO DO DO-DO-DO-DO 210 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,809 * OH, YOU NASTY BOYS 211 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,077 WHOO! WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN! 212 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,947 HI, TRENT! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 213 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,348 EDDIE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING. 214 00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,283 I THINK WE ALL DESERVE TO SEE JANET. 215 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,619 BUT WE ONLY HAVE TWO TICKETS! 216 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,487 I HAVE A PLAN. 217 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,625 SO, WHAT DO YOU BOYS FEEL LIKE DOING? 218 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,026 HUH? 219 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,794 WANT ME TO SHOW YOU SOME STRANGLEHOLDS? 220 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,696 TEACH YOU HOW TO PLAY A DIRGE ON A BUGLE? 221 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:43,764 OH, I KNOW! 222 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,799 HOW ABOUT A GAME, HUH? 223 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,001 LET'S PLAY "DARE OR DARE." 224 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,837 YOU MEAN "TRUTH OR DARE?" 225 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,105 TRUTH IS FOR MOMS. 226 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,708 MEN DARE EACH OTHER. 227 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,209 OKAY. I'LL GO FIRST. 228 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,477 GREAT. 229 00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,781 I DARE YOU TO GO IN YOUR DAD'S SOCK DRAWER 230 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,716 AND MISMATCH A FEW. 231 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,484 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 232 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,820 OH, MY GOSH! THAT'S TOO MUCH! 233 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,790 HE'S GONNA BE SO ANNOYED! 234 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:10,891 [ CHUCKLES ] 235 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,325 OKAY, YOUR TURN. 236 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,627 HUH? 237 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,564 I DARE YOU TO TELL ME A SECRET THAT HONEY DOESN'T KNOW. 238 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,398 OKAY, OKAY. 239 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:21,001 UH...BUT WHAT I SAY IN THIS ROOM STAYS IN THIS ROOM. 240 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,302 YOU HAVE MY WORD. 241 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,971 I HAD A WIFE BEFORE HONEY. 242 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,973 THAT'S NOT A SECRET. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. 243 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,507 NICOLE'S MOM. 244 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:31,344 NO, NO. I HAD A WIFE BEFORE THAT WIFE -- LUCINDA. 245 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,348 YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS GAME. 246 00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:36,516 [ CHUCKLES ] 247 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,887 [ LAUGHS ] 248 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,455 [ JESSICA LAUGHING ] 249 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:47,027 Louis: OH, WOW. THAT FEELS AMAZING. 250 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,030 Jessica: [ SIGHS ] IT DOES FEEL AMAZING. 251 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:53,466 [ GIGGLES ] OH, I LIKE THAT. 252 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,436 I CAN'T BELIEVE WE CAN DEDUCT YOUR SIT-DOWN HAIR DRYER 253 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,005 AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE. 254 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,107 DEDUCT THAT BITCH! [ CHUCKLES ] 255 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,474 [ ADDING MACHINE PRINTS ] 256 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,414 WHAT'S GOING ON? 257 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,749 EMERY! 258 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,117 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 259 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,418 IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 260 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:14,588 THIS IS YOUR ROMANTIC DATE? DOING YOUR TAXES?! 261 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:17,290 SON, WHEN A MAN AND A WOMAN LOVE EACH OTHER 262 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,426 AND BOTH OWN THEIR OWN BUSINESSES, 263 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,629 THERE'S A LOT OF PAPERWORK AROUND TAX SEASON. 264 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:24,264 A QUIET NIGHT ALONE GIVES US THE CHANCE TO FOCUS 265 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,433 AND NOT MISS ANY CRUCIAL DEDUCTIONS. 266 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,301 IT'S COMPLETELY NATURAL. 267 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,704 THERE'S NOTHING NATURAL ABOUT THIS! 268 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:33,974 YOU GUYS HAD ONE NIGHT ALONE, ON VALENTINE'S DAY! 269 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,609 AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DID? 270 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,646 [ SIGHS ] 271 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,113 HE'LL BE FINE. 272 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,548 HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE DEMANDS 273 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,050 OF AN ADULT RELATIONSHIP. 274 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,485 I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH WHAT WE'RE DOING. DO YOU? 275 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,120 WOULD YOU BUY IT THAT THAT OLD CHAIR WE DONATED 276 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,422 WAS WORTH A GRAND? 277 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,658 YEAH. 278 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,492 ** 279 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,494 YO, TICKETS! TICKETS! 280 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,630 WHAT'S UP, GIRL? YOU GOT PRETTY HAIR. YOU WANT SOME TICKETS? 281 00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,131 WHAT'S UP, DUDE? YOU'RE SO TALL. YOU WANT A TICKET? 282 00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:58,932 HEY, MAN. 283 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,267 HEY. WHAT'S UP, YOUNG'UN? 284 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,601 WANT SOME TICKETS? I GOT YOU COVERED. 285 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,671 ACTUALLY, I HAVE A PAIR OF REALLY GOOD SEATS, 286 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,306 BUT I'LL SWAP THEM FOR THREE JUST OKAY SEATS. 287 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,607 OKAY, YEAH. 288 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,743 THAT'S WHAT WE CALL IN MY BUSINESS A "TRADE." 289 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,645 YO, I'M GONNA HOOK YOU UP, MAN. 290 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,080 I GOT THREE TICKETS ABOUT 10 ROWS BACK 291 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,648 FROM WHERE YOU ARE, 292 00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,183 BUT THEY ARE NO BAD SEATS IN THE RHYTHM NATION. 293 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,150 HOW'S THAT SOUND? 294 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,186 THAT'S AWESOME, MAN. THANKS! 295 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,454 AND WE'LL JUST DO THIS HAND OFF... 296 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,123 BYE! 297 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,026 WHAT?! NO! I'LL STOP HIM! 298 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:31,598 [ PANTING ] 299 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,966 HE GOT AWAY. 300 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:40,140 AND SO, WE GOT DIVORCED, AND I RE-ENLISTED IN THE NAVY. 301 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,010 SOUNDS LIKE UNCLE MARVIN IS SHARING SOME OLD WAR STORIES. 302 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,678 YOU LEARNING ANYTHING INTERESTING? 303 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:47,047 I LEARNED THAT YOU'RE UNCLE MARVIN'S THIRD WIFE. 304 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,549 [ GULPS, COUGHS ] EVAN. 305 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,954 YOU SAID WHATEVER YOU SAY IN THIS ROOM STAYS IN THIS ROOM, 306 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,322 AND WE'RE STILL IN THIS ROOM. 307 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,724 WAIT, WHAT? 308 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,191 WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIRD WIFE? 309 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,360 OH, GOODNESS. LOOK AT THE TIME HERE. 310 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,995 I'D BETTER GET THESE BOYS BACK HOME. 311 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,731 BOYS?! I SEE ONE BOY. 312 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,532 WHERE'S EMERY? 313 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,634 WHERE -- HUH? 314 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,737 I KNOW WHERE TO FIND HIM -- GET HIM. 315 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:10,838 COME ON, EVAN. 316 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,607 THANK YOU, NUMBER THREE. 317 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,146 [ INSECTS CHIRPING ] 318 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,048 SORRY IF I GOT YOU IN TROUBLE. 319 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,150 YOU PUT ME IN SOME HOT WATER, KID. 320 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,185 BUT REAL MEN FORGIVE EACH OTHER INSTANTLY. 321 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,020 BESIDES, WE'VE LOST YOUR BROTHER, 322 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,822 SO WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS. 323 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,490 HOPEFULLY, HE'LL BE INSIDE THE HOUSE. 324 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,425 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 325 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,494 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVER HAVE TO TELL ANOTHER PARENT 326 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,695 THAT I LOST THEIR SON. 327 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,733 HEY, GUYS! PERFECT TIMING. 328 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,001 WE JUST GOT HOME. 329 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,670 YOU LOVEBIRDS, UH, PAINT THE TOWN RED? 330 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,938 WE DID. 331 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,273 [ CHUCKLES ] 332 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,908 WELL, UH, THANKS FOR WATCHING OUR -- 333 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,943 UH, TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR NIGHT OUT. 334 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,211 WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER? 335 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,245 UH... 336 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,246 UH... 337 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,782 OH, OOH. 338 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:55,548 [ CHUCKLES ] WELL... 339 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,950 WE HAD SHRIMP. 340 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,052 AND PORK. 341 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,720 WATER MEETS LAND. DELICIOUS. 342 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,289 [ LAUGHS ] 343 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,124 HEY, WHAT KIND OF WINE DID YOU HAVE? 344 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,392 OH, UH, WHITE. RED...WHITE. 345 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,060 WELL, SHE -- YEAH. SHE HAD RED. I HAD WHITE. 346 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,762 TWO BOTTLES. WE WENT FOR IT! [ CHUCKLES ] 347 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:11,564 A LITTLE DUTCH COURAGE FOR THE DANCE FLOOR, HUH? 348 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,466 WHERE'D YOU GUYS END UP GOING DANCING? 349 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,403 OH, EL TOUCAN. WE DECIDED NOT TO GO DANCING. 350 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,705 KIDDING. SHE'S FAMOUS FOR HER WIT. 351 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,606 [ CHUCKLES ] I'M A JOKESTER. 352 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:20,874 RIGHT. RIGHT. 353 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,042 WELL, IT WAS FUN WATCHING EVAN AND... 354 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,210 EMERY?! 355 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,244 Emery: [ Muffled ] WHAT? 356 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:26,413 OH, THANK GOD. 357 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:27,447 BYE-BYE. 358 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,982 BYE-BYE. BYE-BYE. 359 00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,551 [ LAUGHS ] 360 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,787 -BEST CONCERT I'VE EVER SEEN. -JANET RULES! 361 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,789 Girl: I CAN'T BELIEVE JANET DID EIGHT ENCORES! 362 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,825 AT LEAST WE KIND OF HEARD THE WHOLE SHOW FROM OUT HERE. 363 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,560 WE HEARD TRENT SING ALONG TO THE WHOLE SHOW. 364 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,930 * LET ME TAKE YOU ON AN ESCAPADE * 365 00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:46,266 * ON AN ESCAPADE, BABY * 366 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,269 SINGING A HAPPY SONG DOESN'T MAKE THE SADNESS GO AWAY. 367 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,805 Jimmy Jam: YOU GUYS DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU HAD A VERY GOOD TIME TONIGHT. 368 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,475 WHOA! JIMMY JAM AND TERRY LEWIS! 369 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,676 JANET'S PRODUCERS! 370 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,411 UH, THEY'RE CRAZY. [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 371 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,181 I'M GONNA GET MY TASER, AND I'M GONNA SET IT TO "KID." 372 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,984 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, JAM. 373 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,485 THEY'RE JUST REALLY BIG JANET FANS. 374 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:08,021 TERRY! JIMMY! LOOK AT ME! 375 00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,257 HOMEMADE T-SHIRT. STYLE ON A BUDGET. 376 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,424 I RESPECT THAT. 377 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,660 I WAS GONNA BUY A SHIRT INSIDE, BUT... 378 00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,428 OUR TICKETS GOT STOLEN. 379 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,097 OH, WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO PICK ONE UP 380 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,265 AT THE SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT. 381 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,499 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 382 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,301 I THINK WHAT HE MEANS IS HE'S SETTING YOU UP 383 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,369 WITH V.I.P. SEATS. 384 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,636 YES! 385 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,804 WE GOT TICKETS! YES! 386 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,174 YES! YES! 387 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,309 IT'S THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY DOG'S DEATH. 388 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:32,445 I'M FEELING GENEROUS... 'CAUSE ROSY LOVED THE KIDS. 389 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,480 YES. 390 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,750 [ SIGHS ] 391 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,221 I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEAVING THOSE UP ALL YEAR. 392 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,189 I CHANGED MY MIND. 393 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,629 "GIVE CHLOE A CHANCE. MRS. WHITE"? 394 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,064 IS THIS FROM A TEACHER? 395 00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,565 YEAH, SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO SET ME UP 396 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,301 WITH HER GRANDDAUGHTER FOR MONTHS. 397 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,204 EMERY, WE WERE JUST DOING OUR TAXES. 398 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,538 IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 399 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,240 IT IS TO ME. 400 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,476 I WANTED WHAT I THOUGHT YOU GUYS HAD, BUT AFTER WHAT I SAW, 401 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,913 I GUESS ROMANCE ISN'T WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. 402 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,048 SON, WE ARE ROMANTIC. 403 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,149 REALLY? 404 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,717 BECAUSE I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT, 405 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,920 AND I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU GUYS KISS. 406 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,255 IF YOU WANT TO SEE US KISS, NO PROBLEM. 407 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,092 I'VE SEEN YOU GUYS KISS LIKE THAT. 408 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,128 I MEAN A ROMANTIC KISS. 409 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,431 OKAY. 410 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,099 OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ] 411 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,404 OW, MY HAIR! 412 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,673 OH, OH, OH! MY HAIR! AAH! 413 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,674 IT GOT CAUGHT IN MY RING. 414 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,742 THAT'S OKAY. OKAY. 415 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,710 UH [CLEARS THROAT] 416 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,014 [ GROANS ] 417 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,549 OH, YOU'RE HURTING MY RIBS! 418 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,017 OH. AAH! 419 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,018 OKAY. 420 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,286 HEY. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. 421 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,122 JUST RELAX. CALM DOWN. 422 00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:51,724 IT'S WEIRD WITH HIM STARING. 423 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,395 [ SIGHS ] 424 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,596 OKAY. 425 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,564 RIGHT HERE. 426 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:58,765 [ TEETH CLACK ] 427 00:14:58,798 --> 00:14:59,532 OH! AAH! 428 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,201 OH! OH, GOD! 429 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,102 OH! 430 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,670 OH, YOU CAME IN SO FAST! OH! 431 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,077 IT'S BECAUSE HE WAS WATCHING. 432 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,478 WE'RE ROMANTIC. 433 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,947 WE'RE JUST NOT USED TO KISSING IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE. 434 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,483 SORRY FOR NOT BEING A SLUT. 435 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:19,019 MIND IF I CLEAR AWAY THIS ROMANCE? 436 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,289 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 437 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,395 HEY! HOWDY, NEIGHBOR. 438 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,731 YOU KNOW, EMERY AND EVAN AND I HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME YESTERDAY. 439 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,967 I WONDERED IF I COULD HAVE THEM OVER AGAIN TODAY. 440 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:37,270 YOU NEED TO USE US AS A SHIELD SO HONEY WON'T YELL AT YOU? 441 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,738 [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT DID YOU DO, MARVIN, 442 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,307 LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP? 443 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,809 UNCLE MARVIN WAS MARRIED TWICE BEFORE HONEY. 444 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,345 HONEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE FIR FIRST WIFE. 445 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,279 OH, DAMN! 446 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,115 HEY! WE'RE OUTSIDE THAT ROOM. 447 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,482 WHY DID YOU SAY THAT? 448 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:50,283 SORRY. 449 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,985 I FORGIVE YOU. [ CHUCKLES ] 450 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,786 COME ON, LOU. 451 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,456 YOU AND JESSICA COULD USE ANOTHER DAY ALONE, RIGHT? 452 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,758 WELL, I, UH, GUESS I DON'T SEE THE HARM IN THAT. 453 00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,926 [ CHUCKLES ] OH. 454 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,928 EMERY, YOU'RE GOING TO MARVIN'S! 455 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,298 YOU AND MOM HAVE FUN... CLEANING OUT THE ATTIC. 456 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,234 OH, HO, HO! NICE. 457 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,540 [ DOOR CLOSES ] HEY, HEY, HEY. 458 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,708 LOOK WHO'S GOING TO SPEND ANOTHER DAY WITH US. 459 00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:18,211 COME ON, BOYS. 460 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,979 LET'S GO MAKE SOME SANDWICHES. 461 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,381 DO YOU HAVE GOOBER GRAPE? 462 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,850 IT'S PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IN ONE JAR. 463 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,352 IT'S MY FAVORITE. 464 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,519 I SAW A COMMERCIAL FOR IT, 465 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,955 AND I FEEL LIKE IT COULD CHANGE MY LIFE. 466 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,158 [ CHUCKLES ] 467 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,427 [ SIGHS ] 468 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,801 HEY, YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO SOME RAT PACK? 469 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,404 I'VE GOT THIS LIVE ALBUM WHERE DEAN MARTIN SAYS 470 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,040 RACIALLY INSENSITIVE THINGS TO SAMMY DAVIS, JR. 471 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,808 HOW ABOUT THIS? 472 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,377 MISSISSIPPI JOHN HURT? 473 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,712 WELL, THAT'S DELTA BLUES, MAN. 474 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,347 THAT'S THE HARD STUFF. 475 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,316 WHAT'S GOT YOU SO DOWN, SON? 476 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,086 I FOUND OUT MY PARENTS WEREN'T ON A ROMANTIC DATE LAST NIGHT. 477 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,854 THEY WERE HOME DOING THEIR TAXES. 478 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,156 NO. 479 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,591 RIGHT THERE ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. 480 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,059 RIGHT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. 481 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,927 SO, THEY LIED TO US. 482 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,562 WELL... 483 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:10,763 THAT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 484 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,665 IT'S NOT THAT THEY LIED. 485 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:16,035 IT'S THAT MY IDEA OF THEM AS THIS ROMANTIC COUPLE WAS A LIE. 486 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,205 [ SIGHS ] IF THAT'S WHAT THEY DO ON VALENTINE'S DAY, 487 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,740 THEN MAYBE THEY'RE NOT WHO I THOUGHT THEY WERE. 488 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,776 YEAH, WELL, I KNOW YOU THINK THAT ROMANCE 489 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,413 IS ALL ABOUT THE BIG GESTURES, HUH? 490 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,348 BUT IT'S ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS, TOO. 491 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,350 YOU WANT TO HEAR THE MOST ROMANTIC THING 492 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,251 HONEY EVER DID FOR ME? 493 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:36,723 WELL, ONE DAY, I CAME HOME LATE FROM GOLF. 494 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:40,927 AND THERE ON THE TABLE, I SAW A PAIR OF OVER-EASY EGGS 495 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,629 THAT HONEY HAD LEFT FOR ME. 496 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:46,399 I ATE THEM UP, AND I PASSED OUT WITH THE PLATE ON MY CHEST. 497 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:49,569 AND WHEN I CAME TO, I LOOKED DOWN. 498 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,403 WHAT DID I FIND? 499 00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,207 ANOTHER PAIR OF EGGS. 500 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:57,144 SHE KNEW THAT I'D WANT MORE. 501 00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,246 MORE EGGS. 502 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,080 THOSE ARE THE LITTLE THINGS. 503 00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:04,584 THAT'S ROMANCE, SON. 504 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:08,821 EMERY, CAN YOU HELP YOUR BROTHER IN THE KITCHEN? 505 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,926 OH, LOOK. 506 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,129 I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT LUCINDA. 507 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,398 LUCINDA? [ CHUCKLES ] 508 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,400 WHAT, DID SHE PLAY FIDDLE IN A COUNTRY-WESTERN BAND? 509 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,801 SHE DID, ACTUALLY. 510 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,470 YOU ALWAYS WERE A GOOD GUESSER. 511 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,272 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT HER? 512 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:28,074 I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK I WAS BAD AT MARRIAGE. 513 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,243 I MEAN, ONE DIVORCE -- THAT'S LIFE. 514 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,045 TWO DIVORCES? THAT'S A PATTERN. 515 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,649 BOOPSY, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER REASON 516 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:39,118 TO THINK THAT IT WOULDN'T WORK OUT WITH ME. 517 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,421 CUDDLEPUSS, COME HERE! 518 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,489 OH! 519 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,055 [ CHUCKLES ] 520 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,259 Both: OHHHH. 521 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,994 GUYS... 522 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,431 GOOBER GRAPE IS WONDERFUL. 523 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,300 [ BASS THUMPING ] 524 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,534 Eddie: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 525 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,135 LOOK HOW CLOSE WE ARE TO THE STAGE! 526 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,704 WE'RE FRONT ROW! [ GASPS ] 527 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,439 I BET JANET'S GONNA DO THAT THING 528 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,040 WHERE SHE'S SINGING AND TOUCHING OUR HANDS. 529 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,176 "Y'ALL HAVING FUN TONIGHT?" 530 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,512 SORRY, BUT YOU'RE AT THE WRONG ENTRANCE. 531 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,283 EXCUSE ME. 532 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,452 EXCUSE ME. SORRY. 533 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,820 SORRY. 534 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,256 Woman: COME ON, JANET! 535 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,660 OKAY... 536 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,695 THIS WILL BE FINE, I THINK. 537 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,497 I CAN'T SEE THE STAGE. 538 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,865 THIS MUST BE JIMMY'S FAULT. 539 00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,467 TERRY WOULDN'T DO THIS. 540 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,669 ** 541 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,539 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ JANET SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] 542 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:35,007 IS THAT JANET?! WHO'S SAYING THAT?! 543 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,843 DOES ANYBODY HAVE EYES ON JANET? 544 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,811 WHAT IS THIS PILLAR EVEN HOLDING UP? 545 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,113 IT DOESN'T EVEN SEEM STRUCTURAL! 546 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,485 HOW IS OUR CABLE BILL SO CHEAP? 547 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,853 OH, I CANCELLED OUR ACCOUNT 548 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,055 AND I REJOINED UNDER MY ALIAS, SYDNEY JONES. 549 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,723 GOT US A PROMOTIONAL RATE AND FREE HBO. 550 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,259 THANK GOD. I'D BE FURIOUS 551 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,594 IF WE WERE PAYING FOR "DENNIS MILLER LIVE." 552 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,596 [ CHUCKLES ] 553 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,698 I DON'T REMEMBER THIS, THOUGH. 554 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,667 IT'S A BILL FOR CAR REPAIRS. 555 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,335 OH, RIGHT. I HAD THE VAN SERVICED. 556 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,003 I MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN TO TELL YOU. 557 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,538 IT'S A LOT OF MONEY, LOUIS. 558 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,374 WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH IT. 559 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,776 YOU WERE DRIVING AROUND SOME BIG CLIENTS THE NEXT DAY, 560 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,043 AND I WANTED TO MAKE SURE 561 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,879 YOU MADE THE BEST IMPRESSION POSSIBLE. 562 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:16,949 LOUIS HUANG. NOT BAD. 563 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,928 EMERY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 564 00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,398 PUTTING MY LOVE WALL BACK UP. 565 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,100 TURNS OUT ROMANCE ISN'T WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. 566 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,903 SORRY I'VE BEEN KIND OF A JERK. 567 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,204 AW, IT'S OKAY, SON. 568 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,106 SORRY WE LIED TO YOU ABOUT OUR DATE NIGHT. 569 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,975 YOU WERE QUITE THE HANDFUL THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS. 570 00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,244 "I'M MAD! I'M MAD!" [ CHUCKLES ] 571 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,314 WELL, I WANTED TO MAKE UP FOR IT. 572 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,649 SO I MADE YOU THIS. 573 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,719 AWW. 574 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,487 YOU GUYS OVERPAID IN LOVE THIS YEAR, 575 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,456 SO YOU'RE GETTING 20% BACK. 576 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:59,959 THIS IS PROBABLY THE WRONG FORM, BUT I APPRECIATE IT. 577 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:10,136 * AND I'LL GUARANTEE THEY'LL FALL IN LINE * 578 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,638 * WATCH 'EM ALL GO 579 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:15,174 * DAMN, BABY, BABY 580 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,175 * WATCH 'EM ALL GO 581 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:20,079 * DAMN, BABY, BABY 582 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:20,947 * WATCH 'EM ALL GO 583 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:24,817 * DAMN, BABY, BABY 584 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:25,918 * WATCH 'EM ALL GO 585 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,120 * DAMN, BABY, BABY