1 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:04,238 AH, I NEED TO GO ON A DIET. 2 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:06,640 I FEEL LIKE A SAUSAGE IN MY JEANS. 3 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,676 PLEASE. I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU'VE HAD THREE KIDS. 4 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,144 YOU CAN'T, RIGHT? 5 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,345 NO. 6 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:14,515 OH, I WAS READING ABOUT THIS NEW CABBAGE-SOUP DIET. 7 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,816 OH! [ TIMER DINGS ] 8 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,385 OH, FRIEND TIME OVER. TIME FOR BUSINESS MEETING. 9 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:21,222 [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 10 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,590 BETTE MIDLER. 11 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,158 BARBARA HERSHEY. 12 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,559 OKAY. 13 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,328 AFTER SOME SETBACKS, WE'RE READY TO 14 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,330 PUT OUR INVESTMENT PROPERTY ON THE MARKET! 15 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,498 -YAY! -YES! 16 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,565 I'M EXCITED! 17 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:32,733 I KNOW! 18 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,035 SO I JUST PICKED THESE UP FROM THE PRINTER 19 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,305 FOR OUR OPEN HOUSE ON TUESDAY. 20 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,441 WE LOOK LIKE A BAND OF NURSES. 21 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,243 [ SCOFFS ] WE LOOK HOT. 22 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,711 OH, THAT REMINDS ME -- 23 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,514 YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE COOKIES AT OPEN HOUSES? 24 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,516 WELL, I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD HAVE 25 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,451 MINI QUICHES AND BACON INSTEAD. 26 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,952 AH, BUT THAT SOUNDS EXPENSIVE. 27 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,622 YOU KNOW WHAT? YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 28 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,425 YEAH, WE'LL JUST PUT THAT IN THE FUTURE FILE. 29 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,759 YES. 30 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,128 AND THE NEXT THING IS, 31 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,630 OH, I WAS READING ABOUT THESE TEAM-BUILDING WORKSHOPS 32 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:05,399 THAT COMPANIES DO FOR MORALE AND PROBLEM-SOLVING -- 33 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,035 HONEY, I APPRECIATE YOUR INITIATIVE, 34 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,870 BUT I DON'T THINK WE HAVE THE MONEY 35 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,405 FOR NONESSENTIALS RIGHT NOW. 36 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,641 OKAY. THAT MAKES SENSE. 37 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:17,411 THEN THERE'S JUST ONE MORE ITEM OF BUSINESS TO DISCUSS. 38 00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:19,780 UM, I NOTICED IN OUR MONTHLY EXPENSES, 39 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:23,417 WE SPENT $500 ON SOMETHING CALLED "MADAME X-ING"? 40 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,718 OH, THAT'S PRONOUNCED MADAME XING. 41 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,287 SHE'S MY FORTUNE TELLER. 42 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,788 WHAT? 43 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,057 WE NEED HER. WE CAN'T SELL THE HOUSE WITHOUT HER. 44 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:34,962 NOW, HOW MUCH EXTRA WAS IT TO PRINT THESE FLIERS IN COLOR? 45 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,064 -- Captions by VITAC -- 46 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,232 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 47 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,100 * I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO * 48 00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,236 * IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW * 49 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,471 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 50 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,106 * HOMEY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM * 51 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,308 * BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 52 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,143 * I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 53 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:54,682 SORRY, WHAT IS THIS FORTUNE TELLER? 54 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,984 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU 55 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,919 IF YOU CAN'T GET IT FROM THE TITLE. 56 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,954 SHE TELLS FORTUNES. 57 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,623 WHY IS SHE ON OUR PAYROLL? 58 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,493 I'VE NEVER MADE AN IMPORTANT DECISION IN MY LIFE 59 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,495 WITHOUT CONSULTING MADAME XING. 60 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,463 SHOULD I MARRY LOUIS? 61 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,500 SHOULD I GET MATCHING BANGS? 62 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:18,005 SHOULD I GIVE UP SECRETLY WANTING TO BE A VENTRILOQUIST? 63 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,710 SO, WHAT'D SHE SAY? 64 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,278 MADAME XING WAS RIGHT -- 65 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,647 THE PUPPET THEATER BOOM NEVER CAME. 66 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,115 I'M SORRY. 67 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,951 I JUST CAN'T WRAP MY HEAD AROUND 68 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,721 US SPENDING $500 A MONTH ON A FORTUNE TELLER. 69 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,689 IT'S JUST PART OF OUR CULTURE. 70 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,458 CONSULTING WITH A FORTUNE TELLER 71 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,527 IS SOMETHING A LOT OF CHINESE PEOPLE DO, 72 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,129 LIKE USING THE DISHWASHER AS A DRYING RACK, 73 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,198 OR NOT SAYING "PLEASE." 74 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,067 HERE IT COMES, TRENT. 75 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,040 NO SHAME IN BEING BEAT BY A GIRL. 76 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,575 I'M SECURE LIKE THAT. 77 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:55,643 STRIKE! 78 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,445 WE ALL KNOW IT'S A STRIKE, BRIAN! 79 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,182 I BETTER GET HOME, GUYS. 80 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,717 SEE YOU SATURDAY, EDDIE. 81 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,085 SEE YA. 82 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:08,989 ** 83 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,358 SATURDAY IS HER BIRTHDAY. 84 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,725 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GET HER? 85 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,527 LADIES LOVE HAIKUS. 86 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,763 CLEVER CRAFTED WORD PARTIES. 87 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,265 LADIES LOVE HAIKUS. 88 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,767 NAH, SON. I'M TRYING TO IMPRESS MY WOMAN, 89 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,269 NOT DEPRESS MY WOMAN. 90 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,904 WHY DON'T YOU GET HER A TUBE TOP FROM THE DELIA'S CATALOGUE? 91 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,939 I'VE GOT SOMETHING EVEN CLASSIER IN MIND. 92 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,108 ** 93 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,011 NICE. DOES IT OPEN, AND CAN YOU PUT A LITTLE PICTURE INSIDE? 94 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,946 NO, MA-- WHY YOU GOT TO POINT OUT 95 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,248 WHAT THE NECKLACE DON'T DO? 96 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:36,517 IT'S JUST A BEAUTIFUL NECKLACE. 97 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,287 IT BETTER BE FOR $49.99. 98 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,621 HOW ARE YOU GONNA PAY FOR THAT? 99 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,790 OH, I GOT THE LOOT. 100 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,492 I'M REALLY GOOD AT SAVING. 101 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,629 $5?! 102 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:51,131 [ SIGHS ] BARRY'S COMING? 103 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,900 ONLY FOR A FEW DAYS. 104 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,535 HE'S GOT BUSINESS IN ORLANDO. 105 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,304 I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN YEARS. 106 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:59,273 RIGHT, EVER SINCE YOU GAVE HIM MONEY FOR THAT VITAMIN BUSINESS. 107 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:02,410 I TOLD YOU NOBODY WANTED VITAMIN "L." 108 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,812 VITAMIN LUSCIOUS WAS BEFORE ITS TIME. 109 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,747 HE'S A LEECH, LOUIS. 110 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,881 LIKE A BARNACLE. 111 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,249 OR A LEECH. 112 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,585 WELL, HE'S NOT PERFECT, BUT HE MEANS WELL. 113 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:12,886 AND HE'S ALWAYS LIKED YOU. 114 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,822 REMEMBER, HE BROUGHT YOU THAT NICE BASKET OF FRUIT 115 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,123 THE LAST TIME HE VISITED? 116 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:19,427 HE GAVE ME SEVEN BANANAS IN A babyGAP SHOPPING BAG. 117 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,963 DAD, CAN I START WORKING AT THE RESTAURANT AGAIN? 118 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,097 OF COURSE. 119 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,566 -AND GET PAID?! -NOPE. 120 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,968 WITH ALL THE DELAYS IN YOUR MOM'S INVESTMENT PROPERTY SALE, 121 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,403 MONEY'S TIGHT RIGHT NOW. 122 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,639 IF YOU REALLY NEED MONEY, I SAW A "HELP WANTED" SIGN 123 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,106 ON THE BULLETIN BOARD AT THE COUNTRY CLUB. 124 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,310 OOH, SOME LADIES NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING LOTION ON BY THE POOL? 125 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:38,912 IT'S A FAMILY NEW TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD, 126 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,748 AND THEY HAVE A BABY AND NEED HELP AROUND THE HOUSE. 127 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:44,117 -DO I GET TO PUT L-- -NO. NO LADIES NEED LOTION. 128 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,819 [ SIGHS ] 129 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,621 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 130 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,558 ** 131 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,762 DMX?! 132 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,331 I PREFER TO BE CALLED EARL WHEN I'M HOLDING MY BABY. 133 00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:00,668 HONEY, I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO TALK TO MADAME XING YOURSELF 134 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,437 AND SEE HOW IMPORTANT SHE IS TO OUR BUSINESS. 135 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,673 WELL, I ALWAYS LIKE TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. 136 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,841 LIKE THE FIRST TIME I HEARD ABOUT CREAM CHEESE, 137 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,610 I WAS LIKE, "BLECH!" 138 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:13,514 NOW, I'M ALL, "MMM, MMM, MMM! 139 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,115 CAN I GET SOME BAGEL WITH MY CREAM CHEESE? 140 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,049 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?" 141 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,285 IT'S TASTY. 142 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,453 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 143 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,121 WEI? 144 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,790 Madame Xing, it's Jessica. 145 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:26,059 I'M HERE WITH MY BUSINESS PARTNER, WHO I TOLD YOU ABOUT. 146 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,295 AH, YES. THE SKEPTIC. 147 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,631 YOU HAVE TO ASK MADAME XING A QUESTION 148 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,965 THAT YOU WANT THE ANSWER TO. 149 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,300 OKAY. 150 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,670 UM, WILL THE DOLPHINS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS? 151 00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,672 YOU SHOULD STOP WATCHING FOOTBALL. 152 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,141 It's not good for your heart. 153 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,010 HEART DISEASE RUNS IN MY FAMILY. 154 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,044 HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? 155 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,380 YOU JUST GOT XING'D. 156 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:50,350 OKAY, NOW THAT HONEY BELIEVES, WE CAN MOVE ON TO BUSINESS. 157 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,486 WE'RE PUTTING THE HOUSE ON THE MARKET NEXT TUESDAY, AND I -- 158 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,322 NO. DON'T PUT THE HOUSE ON THE MARKET FOR THREE MONTHS. 159 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,425 There's darkness that needs to be cleansed. 160 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,760 -OKAY. -OKAY? 161 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,530 AND DON'T BET ON THE DOLPHINS. 162 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,432 NOT WITH THAT SECONDARY. 163 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,700 [ Click, dial tone ] 164 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,703 OH, IT IS SO LUCKY WE CALLED HER. 165 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,772 WE NEED TO CHANGE THE OPEN-HOUSE DATE ON THE FLIERS. 166 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,206 YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. 167 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,608 YOU HEARD MADAME XING. 168 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:17,110 YOU DON'T TAKE ANY OF MY SUGGESTIONS, 169 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:20,113 BUT THIS FORTUNE TELLER MAKES ONE CRAZY STATEMENT, 170 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,882 AND YOU DO IT, NO QUESTIONS ASKED? 171 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,216 I VALUE HER OPINION. 172 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,018 AND SHE VALUES YOUR MONEY. 173 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,922 500 BUCKS A MONTH SO SHE CAN TELL US ABOUT DARKNESS, 174 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:31,024 BUT MINI QUICHES AND A SEMINAR ARE WASTEFUL? 175 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,827 DON'T BLAME ME JUST BECAUSE YOUR IDEAS ARE BAD. 176 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,797 YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART, JESSICA, 177 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,332 BUT YOU'RE REALLY JUST A SUCKER. 178 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,103 THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST. 179 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,439 NOW ALLOW ME TO BE HONEST. IT'S OVER. 180 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:47,107 WHAT IS? 181 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,611 EVERYTHING -- OUR FRIENDSHIP, THE BUSINESS, BOOK CLUB, 182 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,981 THE SANDWICH PUNCH CARD WE SHARE -- DONE-ZO. 183 00:06:58,819 --> 00:06:59,820 OH, MY GOD. 184 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,154 DMX! 185 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,457 DARK MAN X! 186 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,258 YOU LOOK OLDER IN PERSON. 187 00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,127 FATHERHOOD AGES YOU. 188 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,496 I'M TIRED. 189 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,763 EMOTIONAL. 190 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,231 CRYING. YELLING! 191 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,801 ALL AT THE SAME COTTON COMMERCIAL. 192 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,236 IT'S THE FABRIC OF OUR LIVES, G. 193 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,472 [ GENESIS COOS ] 194 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:20,841 MAN, I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS! 195 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:21,975 SORRY, LITTLE MAN. 196 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,411 I CAN'T HAVE YOU BLOWING UP MY SPOT. 197 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,646 I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO SIGN AND INITIAL 198 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,947 THIS NONDISCLOSURE AGREEMENT. 199 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,950 IT'S THE SAME ONE OPRAH USED ON STEDMAN. 200 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:34,087 SO...I CAN'T TELL ANYONE I'M WORKING FOR YOU? 201 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,623 -NOPE. -OH. 202 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,925 SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 203 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,660 BABYPROOF THE LIVING ROOM, 204 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,161 BLEND SOME PEAS FOR GENESIS, 205 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,531 AND MAKE SURE TO PUT LAVENDER DROPS IN HER CLOTH DIAPERS. 206 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,499 WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE DISPOSABLE DIAPERS? 207 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,668 'CAUSE I AIN'T TRYING TO LEAVE SOME BIG-ASS CARBON FOOTPRINT. 208 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,205 I HOPE THE COUCH IS GONNA BE OKAY. 209 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,641 AW, ARE YOU KIDDING ME, MAN? 210 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,009 WE SHARED A TWIN FUTON WHEN WE ROOMED UP IN JERSEY. 211 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,011 REMEMBER THAT? TRYING TO PUT A NEW VITAMIN OUT THERE. 212 00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,479 TESTING IT ON OURSELVES. 213 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:02,115 R-REMEMBER HOW YOU GREW THAT LUSTROUS ARM HAIR? 214 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,451 [ Laughing ] IT KEPT GETTING CAUGHT ON MY WATCH. 215 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,619 [ Laughing ] THAT'S RIGHT. 216 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,787 UH-OH! 217 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,121 EDDIE, HOW YOU DOING?! 218 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,023 -I'M EMERY. -IT'S UNCLE BARRY. 219 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,458 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE. 220 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,294 I WASN'T BORN WHEN YOU WERE MY DAD'S FRIEND. 221 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,697 YOU'RE RAISING KINGS, LOUIS. 222 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:17,798 YOU'RE RAISING KINGS. 223 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,232 UH-OH! 224 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,868 LADY J! 225 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,736 WE'RE NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY, BARRY. 226 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,738 WELL, YOUR HANDS LOOK SOFT AND YOUNG, GIRL. 227 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,540 [ DOOR SLAMS ] SHE'S KIDDING. 228 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,842 SHE KNOWS YOU'RE NOT HERE TO ASK FOR MONEY. 229 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,243 -RIGHT? -AW, COME ON. 230 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,745 BARRY'S BALLIN' NOW. 231 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,146 I SELL NEW AND USED GOODS 232 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,048 AT A FLEXIBLE PRICE FOR PEOPLE WORLDWIDE. 233 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,717 -GOOD FOR YOU. -[ LAUGHS ] 234 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,385 YOU KNOW WHAT? ONLY IN TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS. 235 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,053 THEN I'LL BE OUT OF YOUR HAIR IN NO TIME. 236 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,156 BUT AS A TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION... 237 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,324 YOU READY? 238 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,493 IT'S A WOODEN ELEPHANT FROM BHUTAN. 239 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,761 BARRY, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. 240 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:49,496 BABAR WAS BASED ON HIM. 241 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,666 BABAR WAS A FRENCH ELEPHANT WHO WENT ON ADVENTURES. 242 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,768 HE WE-- HE WENT TO JAIL, WENT TO HAWAII. 243 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:55,936 ALL THOSE PLACES. 244 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,070 WOW. 245 00:08:57,104 --> 00:09:00,540 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 246 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,709 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 247 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,944 I CUT HONEY OFF. IT'S OVER. 248 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,278 BUT SHE'S YOUR FRIEND. 249 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,915 [ SIGHS ] YOU KNOW HOW I GET WHEN SOMEBODY CROSSES THE LINE. 250 00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,116 I CAN'T FORGIVE THEM. 251 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,885 I KNOW. I'M REMINDED EVERY DAY. 252 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,422 YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY YOU CUT THESE PEOPLE OFF. 253 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,858 THAT ONE WENT OFF-REGISTRY. 254 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,128 THAT ONE TRIED TO UPSTAGE ME WITH HER HAIRDO. 255 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,896 AND THAT ONE MARRIED A MAN WEALTHIER THAN YOU. 256 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,932 WHY DO YOU EVEN STILL HAVE THIS PHOTO? 257 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,433 BECAUSE I LOOK AMAZING. 258 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,135 YOU KNOW, IF YOU KEEP CUTTING PEOPLE OFF, 259 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,369 YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANY FRIENDS. 260 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,439 WELL, I WOULD RATHER HAVE NO FRIENDS THAN TOO MANY. 261 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,441 YOU COULD STAND TO CUT A FEW PEOPLE OFF. 262 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:35,876 ONE IN PARTICULAR. 263 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:36,944 JESSICA. 264 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,979 YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BARRY IN YEARS. 265 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:42,215 HE'S AN IDIOT, AND YOU GUYS SHARED A ROOM IN NEW JERSEY 266 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,483 FOR BARELY TWO MONTHS. 267 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,118 THOSE WERE A CRAZY TWO MONTHS, THOUGH. 268 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:48,588 WE INVENTED A VITAMIN AND PLAYED TONS OF BASKETBALL. 269 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,223 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 270 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,591 HI, HONEY. 271 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,828 MY MOM ASKED ME TO RETURN THE THINGS YOU LEFT AT OUR HOUSE. 272 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,297 DO YOU BELIEVE THIS, EVAN? 273 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,500 YOUR MOM'S CUTTING ME OUT OF HER LIFE LIKE I'M NOTHING TO HER. 274 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,270 I WAS TOLD NOT TO ENGAGE WITH YOU. 275 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,972 OKAY. 276 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:07,140 FINE. 277 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,342 I'LL JUST GIVE HER BACK HER THINGS. 278 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,644 YOU WON'T FIND ANYTHING. 279 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,113 CHINESE PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF THEIR POSSESSIONS. 280 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,817 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF, HONEY. 281 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,285 I ALWAYS LIKED YOU. 282 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,156 HOW DID SHE LOOK? 283 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,858 DID SHE LOOK SAD? 284 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:27,160 ACTUALLY, SHE LOOKED GREAT. SHE JOGS A LOT. 285 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,129 [ SIGHS ] WELL, WAS ANYBODY ELSE THERE? 286 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,463 DEIDRE? CAROL-JOAN? 287 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,965 WAS SHE HAVING BOOK CLUB? 288 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,466 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 289 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,002 I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND. 290 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,271 THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BEST FRIEND. 291 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,774 THAT'S JUST SOMETHING HELLO KITTY MADE UP 292 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,509 TO SELL MORE HELLO KITTY. 293 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,013 [ BELL RINGING ] 294 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,850 HEY. WHERE YOU BEEN? 295 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,219 [ SIGHS ] I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER. 296 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:55,122 OH, MY GOD. YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT BECCA G. JUST ATE. 297 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,289 WE'RE IN THE CAFETERIA -- 298 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,959 BABE, I JUST GOT TO MY LOCKER. 299 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,695 CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE TWO MINUTES TO UNWIND? 300 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,363 YEAH, OF COURSE. 301 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,865 YOU SEEM TIRED. 302 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,834 ARE YOU NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP OR EATING ENOUGH PROTEIN? 303 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,168 I JUST WANT TO PUT AWAY MY MATH BOOK, 304 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,037 CLEAN OUT THE CHEEZ-ITS FROM MY BAG, 305 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,571 AND SAY "WHAT'S UP" TO FAT JOE. 306 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,241 YOU'RE CRANKY. 307 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,576 I'M WORKING A LOT, OKAY? 308 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,411 I'M WORKING...A BUNCH. 309 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,380 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. WHERE ARE YOU WORKING? 310 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,982 -I CAN'T TELL YOU. -WHY NOT? 311 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,085 WELL, MOM, I CAN'T TELL YOU. 312 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,653 YOU KNOW WHAT? 313 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,055 I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THIS. 314 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,423 AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, SHE ATE A SPIDER. 315 00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:31,658 WHO DID? 316 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,893 BECCA G.! 317 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,094 REBECCA! 318 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,096 GONZALEZ! 319 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:39,099 [ SIGHS ] 320 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,869 Barry: AND SHE SAID, "THERE ARE NO NUNS HERE BY THAT NAME." 321 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,271 WAIT, SHE WAS "SISTER ACT"-ING YOU? 322 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:47,107 OH, SEE, YOU GET ME, LOUIS. 323 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,176 -I DO. -WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS. 324 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,178 REMEMBER THAT IDEA I HAD ABOUT 325 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,281 SELLING NEW AND USED GOODS AT A FLEXIBLE PRICE? 326 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,749 YES. 327 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,951 WELL, I'M TRYING TO FIND INVESTORS. 328 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,452 WHICH IS WHY I'M IN TOWN. 329 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,421 AND I FIGURE, WHY NOT BRING MY BOY LOUIS IN 330 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,555 ON THE GROUND FLOOR? 331 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,091 BARRY, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO 332 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,793 ASK ME FOR MONEY THIS TIME. 333 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,294 LOUIS, I'M NOT ASKING YOU FOR MONEY. 334 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,429 I'M ASKING YOU TO INVEST IN A BUSINESS. 335 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,630 A VIABLE BUSINESS. 336 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:13,466 BARRY, WE'RE SITTING IN A BUSINESS I'M INVESTED IN. 337 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,035 -THIS IS YOUR PLACE? -YES! 338 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,872 OH, IN THAT CASE, I'LL HAVE THE TOMAHAWK CHOP, MEDIUM RARE, 339 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,473 GRILL LINES ON BOTH SIDES, PLEASE. 340 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:21,775 WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? 341 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,576 WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE OF THE CHOPS. 342 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:27,447 OKAY, SO IS THIS USED GOODS THING A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS? 343 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,082 HOW MANY OTHER INVESTORS ARE THERE? 344 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:32,485 WELL, NO ONE HAS COMMITTED PER SE, 345 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,487 BUT THERE ARE SOME INTERESTED PARTIES. 346 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,157 UM, THERE'S A FRENCHMAN IN NEW DELHI. 347 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,728 THAT'S IT? 348 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,762 YEAH. 349 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,998 YOU AND A FRENCHMAN IN NEW DELHI. 350 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,666 [ CHUCKLES ] 351 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:52,772 AND, SURPRISE, LOUIS CALLS AND BARRY'S FLIGHT IS DELAYED. 352 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,475 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE LETS THIS GUY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM. 353 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:59,112 UM, CAN WE GO TO OUR ROOM? 354 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,281 WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH A LITE-BRITE CLOWN. 355 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,486 UNLESS... YOU WANT TO JOIN US? 356 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,321 NO, NO, YOU GO AHEAD. 357 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,391 ** 358 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,003 [ APPLAUSE ] 359 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:31,344 JUST WATCHING "WHEEL" BY YOURSELF, HUH? 360 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,346 YOU KNOW, EVEN BACK IN D.C., 361 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,648 I NEVER SAW YOU WITH ANY FRIENDS. 362 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,884 WHERE ARE ALL YOUR FRIENDS? 363 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,986 [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 364 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,490 WHY? 365 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,401 ARE YOU LONELY? 366 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,503 YES, YOU DO. 367 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,981 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 368 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:11,218 SO, YOU WERE SAYING? 369 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,653 EXCUSE ME? 370 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,889 EARLIER, YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT 371 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,490 A CABBAGE-SOUP DIET? 372 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,992 ARE -- ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO ACT LIKE 373 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,660 YOU DIDN'T JUST END OUR FRIENDSHIP? 374 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,095 I DECIDED TO FORGIVE YOU. 375 00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,363 [ LAUGHS ] 376 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,565 WELL, I DON'T FORGIVE YOU. 377 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,901 YOU WERE DISMISSIVE OF ALL OF MY IDEAS. 378 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,103 YOU DROPPED ME WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. 379 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,405 YOU SENT YOUR SON TO RETURN MY THINGS. 380 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,942 AND -- AND -- AND ONE THING'S NOT EVEN MINE! 381 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,543 WHAT IS THIS? 382 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,178 I-IS THIS SOME SORT OF WARNING? 383 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,579 OKAY, FINE. 384 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,916 WE CAN DO YOUR MINI QUICHES AND BACON. 385 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,052 BUT NO TEAM-TRUST-FALLS WORKSHOP. 386 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,187 IF I FALL ON SOMEBODY, I WANT THEM TO DIE. 387 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,557 JESSICA, I AM TIRED OF YOU NOT TREATING ME LIKE AN EQUAL. 388 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,225 I CAN FLIP HOUSES ON MY OWN. 389 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,427 YOU WERE RIGHT. 390 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:55,662 WE'RE DONE-ZO. 391 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,869 ** 392 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,005 [ GENESIS FUSSING ] 393 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:06,773 IT'S OKAY. 394 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,475 CAN YOU ORGANIZE THESE BOOTIES, PLEASE? 395 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,444 WHAT'S WITH THE FROWN, B.? 396 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,613 YOU KNOW I CAN'T HAVE THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY AROUND GENESIS. 397 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,782 GIRL TROUBLE. 398 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:16,950 EXTRAPOLATE. 399 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,418 HER BIRTHDAY'S ON SATURDAY, 400 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,453 AND THAT'S THE ONLY REASON WHY I TOOK THIS JOB -- 401 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:21,955 SO I CAN GET HER THIS. 402 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,725 YO! IS THAT ONE OF THOSE NECKLACES THAT SING? 403 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,995 WHY'S EVERYBODY GOT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT THE NECKLACE DON'T DO?! 404 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,897 ANYWAY, SHE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE MY GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE. 405 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,966 I'M WORKING SO MUCH, I DON'T SEE HER. 406 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,767 AND WHEN I DO, I'M TOO TIRED. 407 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:37,137 AND I CAN'T TELL HER WHY BECAUSE OF YOUR OPRAH MUZZLE. 408 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,739 I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED -- TO CHILL. 409 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,009 LET'S TAKE A TRIP OUT TO MY GREENHOUSE. 410 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,644 * YEAH 411 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,679 WELCOME TO MY HORTICULTURAL WONDERLAND 412 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,116 OF RARE AND EXOTIC ORCHIDS. 413 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,451 DO YOU SMOKE THEM? 414 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:52,852 WHAT?! [ SCOFFS ] 415 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,821 NO, I LOVE 'EM. 416 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,289 THIS IS BEATRICE. 417 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,625 THIS IS CITADELLE. AND THIS IS DENISE. 418 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,094 O-KAY? 419 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,962 WHEN I FIRST STARTED GROWING ORCHIDS, 420 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,632 I THOUGHT THEY NEEDED THE MOST EXPENSIVE SOIL AND LIGHTS 421 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,666 TO BLOSSOM. 422 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:07,967 AND THEY DIED. 423 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,203 THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT ALL THEY REALLY NEEDED 424 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,838 WAS TIME AND ATTENTION. 425 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:14,041 YOU DON'T NEED TO GET YOUR GIRL A GIFT. 426 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,309 YOU NEED TO GIVE HER YOUR TIME. 427 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:19,312 ARE ANY OF THESE FLOWERS BOYS, OR ARE THEY ALL GIRLS? 428 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:20,480 GIRLS? 429 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,549 THESE ARE WOMEN. 430 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,619 Turn the lights off! 431 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,488 Are you hiding? 432 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,789 Yes, from Barry. 433 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,958 He asked me for money. You were right about him. 434 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,327 Well, I was wrong about Honey. 435 00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,663 LET ME GUESS -- SHE DIDN'T ACCEPT YOUR FORGIVENESS? 436 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,565 NO, SHE DIDN'T. 437 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,534 I WALKED IN THERE, I ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED, 438 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,971 AND I FORGAVE HER, AND SHE DIDN'T ACCEPT IT. 439 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,374 DID YOU SAY YOU WERE SORRY? 440 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,042 YOU KNOW I DIDN'T. 441 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,643 WELL, APOLOGIZE TO HER. 442 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,745 WELL, WHAT WOULD I EVEN SAY? 443 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,681 UH, "I'M SORRY"? 444 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,818 LOOK, I KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT HER. 445 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,154 YOU JUST NEED TO SHOW HER YOUR FRIENDSHIP MATTERS. 446 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,823 WELL, YOU NEED TO SHOW BARRY HIS FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T. 447 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,092 I'M GONNA CUT HIM OFF. 448 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,426 I'M JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW TO DO IT. 449 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,161 JUST RIP OFF THE BAND-AID. 450 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:11,030 YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE TO RIP OFF BAND-AIDS. 451 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:12,765 I LIKE TO WET THEM FOR A FEW DAYS 452 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,735 AND HOPEFULLY THEY JUST COME OFF IN THE SHOWER. 453 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,406 GET OUT. COME ON. 454 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,540 L-TRAIN! 455 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,109 I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GO ON A MAYO RUN. 456 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,511 BARRY, THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A MAYO RUN. 457 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,413 I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY FOR YOUR BUSINESS, 458 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,881 AND YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO STAY. 459 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,217 HOW YOU GONNA DO ME LIKE THAT? 460 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,418 WE'RE FRIENDS, LOUIS! 461 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,253 ARE WE? WHAT'S MY LAST NAME? 462 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:35,755 TRAIN? 463 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,125 BARRY, I'M CUTTING YOU OFF. 464 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:41,128 YOU'RE GONNA MISS OUT ON AN AMAZING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY. 465 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:44,297 I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA LOSE SLEEP OVER YOUR garagesale.com. 466 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:48,435 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, IT'S CALLED eBAY. 467 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:50,770 DUMB NAME! 468 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:51,938 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 469 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:55,242 [ PICCOLO PLAYS ] 470 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,310 * I AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO LOSE 471 00:17:57,344 --> 00:18:00,380 * YOUNG MAN WENT OUT AND MADE A NAME FOR HIMSELF * 472 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,616 * DMX THE GREAT 473 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,718 * THE BROTHER GOT THE RAP 474 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,986 * DR. SEUSS 475 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,655 * DID WHAT I HAD TO TO GET WHERE I GOT * 476 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:11,458 * THOUGH I'LL ADMIT WHAT I HAD TO DO WAS A LOT * 477 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,794 * I STILL GAVE IT A SHOT, AND SOMETIMES I HAD TO SHOOT * 478 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,329 * CATCHING VICS... OH, MY GOD. 479 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,131 IS THAT DMX? 480 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,400 I'VE BEEN ARRANGING "GHETTO LIFE" FOR THE PICCOLO. 481 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,935 I ACTUALLY WROTE "GHETTO LIFE" ON THE PICCOLO. 482 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,437 YOU HEAR THAT, GENESIS? 483 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,838 ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. 484 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,807 I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO WALK SOON, SWEETIE. 485 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,108 [ COOS ] 486 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,510 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 487 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,312 I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN SUCH A JERK LATELY. 488 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,081 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU SOME STUPID EXPENSIVE NECKLACE, 489 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,785 BUT DMX HELPED ME REALIZE IT'S NOT ABOUT PRESENTS, 490 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,287 IT'S ABOUT PRESENCE. 491 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,788 OH, I'D RATHER HAVE A NECKLACE. 492 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,823 PSYCH! 493 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:46,092 DMX DROVE HIS EL-DO TO MY HOUSE! 494 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,295 THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT I'VE EVER GOTTEN! 495 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,997 TAKE CARE OF TOMIKO. 496 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,132 AND BE SURE TO USE FERTILIZER WITHOUT UREA. 497 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,934 * THE BROTHER GOT THE RAP 498 00:18:54,967 --> 00:19:01,474 AND THAT'S HOW BAGEL MONDAYS CAN TURN INTO PRODUCTIVE TUESDAYS. 499 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,776 OKAY, WE'RE GONNA SHIFT GEARS A LITTLE BIT 500 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,879 AND HAVE SOME FUN WITH SOME ROLE-PLAY IMPROV EXERCISES. 501 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,015 WE CALL THIS JOBPROV, 502 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:12,452 BECAUSE SUCCESS DOESN'T COME WITH A SCRIPT. 503 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:16,623 OKAY, I NEED TWO VOLUNTEERS TO HELP US GET STARTED. 504 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,058 YES, BLONDE LADY IN THE FRONT. 505 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,159 AND... 506 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,995 Jessica: OH, SHE'S MARRIED, YOU PERVERTS. 507 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,632 I VOLUNTEER. 508 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,833 GREAT. 509 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,003 SO, IN THIS SCENE, 510 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:34,474 YOU ARE A CUSTOMER RETURNING A WALKMAN 511 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,977 TO A MANAGER AT CIRCUIT CITY. 512 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,548 AND...JOBPROV! 513 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,550 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 514 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,052 SHOWING YOU YOUR FRIENDSHIP MATTERS. 515 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,321 BUT YOU HATE THIS STUFF. 516 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,822 YOU THINK IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY. 517 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:50,857 I DO. 518 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,559 BUT YOU DON'T. 519 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:55,027 AND WE'RE PARTNERS. 520 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:57,129 I'M SORRY, HONEY. 521 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,667 I'M SORRY, TOO. 522 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,001 I MISS YOU. 523 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,170 HELLO KITTY WAS RIGHT. 524 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,006 THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A BEST FRIEND. 525 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,074 [ CHUCKLES ] 526 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,909 HELLO KITTY. 527 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,279 FROG BEST FRIEND KEROPPI. 528 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,414 [ CHUCKLES ] 529 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:19,185 AND...SCENE. 530 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,788 OKAY. THAT WAS TERRIBLE. 531 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,756 REALLY JUST THE WORST. 532 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,124 THERE WAS NO WALKMAN. 533 00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,394 EVEN IF THERE WAS, I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE'S RETURNING IT. 534 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,729 APPARENTLY THERE ARE NO DOORS AT THIS CIRCUIT CITY, 535 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:33,099 IF THAT'S EVEN WHERE WE WERE, BECAUSE NOBODY MENTIONED IT. 536 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,302 AND FROM AN H.R. STANDPOINT, 537 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,871 A LONG INTERRACIAL SAME-SEX HUG? 538 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:43,776 NOW, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY ARBY'S IS A SHADOW OF ITS FORMER SELF. 539 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:46,379 I [LAUGHS] 540 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,114 [ SCOFFS ] 541 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:53,620 ONCE JERRY FINISHES INSTALLING THE WATER HEATER, 542 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,955 WE WILL BE ALL SET FOR THE OPEN HOUSE. 543 00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,890 THANK YOU FOR GOING BACK TO THE ORIGINAL LIST DATE. 544 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:58,958 NO, YOU WERE RIGHT. 545 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,160 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SILLY TO WAIT THREE MONTHS. 546 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:04,163 MADAME XING DOESN'T KNOW EVERYTHING. 547 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:07,834 OKAY, SO, GOOD NEWS -- WATER HEATER FIT PERFECTLY. 548 00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:12,138 BAD NEWS -- YOU GUYS HAVE BLACK MOLD ALL THROUGH YOUR ATTIC. 549 00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:13,573 -BLACK MOLD? -OH, YEAH. 550 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,908 AND IT IS A SERIOUS HEALTH HAZARD. 551 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,010 I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE STANDING HERE, BREATHING THIS AIR. 552 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,612 LIKE, I NEED TO GET OUT. 553 00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,314 OKAY, BUT IT IS ABSOLUTELY ILLEGAL 554 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:22,615 FOR YOU TO SELL THIS HOUSE UNTIL YOU HAVE IT REMOVED. 555 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,150 BUT HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE? 556 00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:25,418 ABOUT THREE MONTHS. 557 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,854 NO WAY. 558 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,189 WE JUST GOT XING'D.