1
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:05,206
WHY DOES YOUR MOTHER
HAVE TO ANNOUNCE

2
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,975
WHO'S HOSTING THANKSGIVING
AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING?

3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,477
IT'S HER RITUAL, LOUIS.

4
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,512
SHE WAKES UP AT 4:00,
SWEEPS THE DRIVEWAY,

5
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,347
LOOKS AT OLD PHOTOGRAPHS
NEXT TO A CANDLE,

6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,715
THEN CALLS.

7
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:17,251
BUT YOUR MOM CHOOSES CONNIE
AND STEVE TO HOST EVERY YEAR.

8
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:19,420
AND CONNIE NEVER LETS ME
FORGET IT.

9
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:20,888
BUT THIS YEAR
IS DIFFERENT.

10
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,356
WE LIVE IN FLORIDA NOW.

11
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,594
I'VE BEEN SENDING CRATES
OF THESE BABIES

12
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,696
TO MY MOTHER FOR WEEKS.

13
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,731
WHO COULD SAY NO
TO THIS FACE?

14
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:33,234
[ CHUCKLES ]

15
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,268
"JUICE-ICA."

16
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:35,436
[ CHUCKLES ]

17
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,770
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
[ GASPS ]

18
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,706
MOM,
WHAT HAVE YOU DECIDED?

19
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,314
YES! YES!
[ STIFLED SCREAMING ]

20
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,020
-- Captions by VITAC --

21
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,222
* FRESH OFF THE BOAT

22
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,056
* I'M GETTIN' MINE
EVERYWHERE I GO *

23
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,226
* IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY,
NOW YOU KNOW *

24
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,560
* FRESH OFF THE BOAT

25
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,795
* HOMEY, YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE I COME FROM *

26
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,231
* BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN'

27
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,899
* I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT

28
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,770
WHY ARE YOU STARING
AT THE PHONE?

29
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:12,440
WE ALREADY GOT THE GOOD NEWS --
WE'RE HOSTING THANKSGIVING.

30
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,775
I'M WAITING FOR
THE LOSER'S CONCESSION CALL.

31
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,444
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

32
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,312
[ SIGHS ]

33
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,613
HUANG RESIDENCE.

34
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:22,116
CONGRATULATIONS, SISTER.

35
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,717
I'M EXCITED
TO SPEND THANKSGIVING

36
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,053
AT YOUR HOUSE THIS YEAR.

37
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,990
I JUST HOPE WE CAN DO
AS GOOD A JOB AS YOU AND STEVE.

38
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:33,761
DON'T FORGET TO BRING
YOUR FAMOUS POTATO SALAD.

39
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,363
CAN'T WAIT.CAN'T WAIT.

40
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:39,133
IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG.

41
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:43,003
CONNIE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE US
CRASH AND BURN IN FRONT OF MOM.

42
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:46,407
WELL, LUCKY FOR US, I RUN
A SEMI-SUCCESSFUL RESTAURANT.

43
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,642
TOGETHER, WE CAN
MAKE THIS THANKSGIVING GREAT.

44
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:51,179
IF NOT, IT'S BACK TO D.C.,
POTATO SALAD,

45
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,247
AND STEVE MAKING EVERYBODY
PLAY CHARADES.

46
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,649
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
THAT WAS RONALD McDONALD?

47
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:57,418
HE WAS JUST MIMING
A BIG AFRO.

48
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,787
YOUR GUESS MADE EVERYONE
UNCOMFORTABLE.

49
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,756
Louis:
BOYS, BIG NEWS!

50
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,326
THIS YEAR,
WE'RE HOSTING THANKSGIVING.

51
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,360
Eddie: NICE! SWEET!
YAY!

52
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,128
I CAN'T WAIT TO HANG
WITH COUSIN JUSTIN

53
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,363
AND LISTEN TO MUSIC.

54
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,965
BUT YOU LIKE RAP
AND HE LIKES GRUNGE.

55
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,701
I HAVE FOUND
OUR COMMON GROUND.

56
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,336
* YEAH

57
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,470
PEARL JAM.

58
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,206
"PEARL JAM"?

59
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,408
THAT'S WHAT I'M CALLING
MAYONNAISE FROM NOW ON.

60
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,613
SO, UNLESS ANYBODY NEEDS
TO USE THE BATHROOM

61
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,780
FOR A THIRD TIME...

62
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,849
I DRINK A LOT OF JUICE,
OKAY?

63
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,285
...I CALL THIS THANKSGIVING
PLANNING SESSION TO ORDER.

64
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,554
THIS YEAR, WE'RE GOING TO CREATE
OUR OWN TRADITIONS

65
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,155
AND BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND.

66
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:38,726
I THOUGHT I WOULD INVITE MOM'S
FAVORITE PERSON, OSCAR CHOW.

67
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,495
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
THAT I BORROWED THIS ROBE.

68
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,730
VERY SWISH.

69
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,865
THEY LIKE TO RE-ENACT SCENES
FROM "DYNASTY."

70
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,369
ALSO, SINCE CONNIE ALWAYS BUYS
CANNED CRANBERRY SAUCE,

71
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,903
I'VE DECIDED
I WOULD MAKE MY OWN.

72
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,705
EXCELLENT.
EVAN AND EMERY?

73
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,574
WE'LL TAKE
THE TABLE DECORATIONS.

74
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,409
THE THEME --
"HARVEST HOEDOWN."

75
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,810
OR "POLAR BEAR
PILGRIMS."

76
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,379
"HARVEST HOEDOWN."

77
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,481
WE HAD AN ARM-WRESTLE,
AND I WON.

78
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,982
GREAT. EDDIE?

79
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,419
I...PROMISE
NOT TO BUMP INTO STUFF?

80
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,720
THAT'S A NICE THOUGHT,

81
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,188
BUT LET'S NOT MAKE
ANY PROMISES WE CAN'T KEEP.

82
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,724
NOW, ON TO THE BIG IDEAS.

83
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,893
FIRST, AT STEVE AND CONNIE'S
THANKSGIVING,

84
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,428
EVERYBODY PLAYS CHARADES.

85
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,597
BOO!

86
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,300
BUT AT "HUANGSGIVING,"
WE PLAY...

87
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,602
...MONOPOLY!

88
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,104
YAY!

89
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,274
SECOND, AREN'T YOU SICK
OF HAVING TO FIGHT

90
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,042
OVER ONE MEASLY ROAST DUCK
AT STEVE AND CONNIE'S?

91
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:30,611
LAST YEAR,
I GOT THE BEAK.

92
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,180
THAT'S WHY AT HUANGSGIVING,
WE DON'T SERVE DUCK.

93
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,181
NO.

94
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,215
WE SERVE...

95
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,086
...INDIVIDUAL CORNISH HENS.

96
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,722
THEY'RE THE PERSONAL PIZZAS
OF THE BIRD WORLD.

97
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,325
I'M GONNA EAT MINE
WITH MY HANDS, LIKE A COOKIE.

98
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,728
* HERE WE GO, YO,
HERE WE GO, YO *

99
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,863
* SO WHAT, SO WHAT,
SO WHAT'S THE SCENARIO? *

100
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,966
* OH, MY GOSH, OH, MY GOSH

101
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,435
HERE THEY COME!

102
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,437
-HELLO.
-HEY!

103
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,105
HELLO.

104
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,441
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

105
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:08,616
Emery: WHOA.

106
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,384
WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE
A TAXICAB?

107
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,553
I'M STRAIGHT-EDGE SKA NOW.

108
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,954
HAPPY "SKANKSGIVING."

109
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,324
YO, JUSTIN.
GOT THE NEW PEARL JAM.

110
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,325
GRUNGE IS DEAD.

111
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,328
IT'S LIKE
CHASING THE WIND.

112
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,596
WHERE'S STEVE?

113
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,433
OH.
HE'S DRIVING SEPARATELY.

114
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,000
Louis: OH.
HE DID THAT LAST TIME.

115
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,670
* YEAAAAAAAAAH

116
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:30,771
[ HORN HONKING ]
* ALL RIGHT

117
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,373
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH ]

118
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,310
[ HORN HONKING ]
* YEAAAAAAAAAH

119
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,811
* ALL RIGHT

120
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,448
[ ENGINE SPUTTERING,
HONKING CONTINUES ]

121
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,084
[ SPUTTERING, HONKING CONTINUE ]

122
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,152
[ ENGINE STOPS ]

123
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,554
[ ENGINE SPUTTERS ]

124
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,390
[ SUSPENSION CREAKS ]

125
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,264
[ EMERGENCY BRAKE CRANKS ]

126
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,832
IT'S OKAY --
MUST HAVE ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED

127
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,834
THE KEYS OUT OF THE IGNITION
WITH MY KNEE. [ CHUCKLES ]

128
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,771
WOW, STEVE.
NICE...CAR?

129
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:04,872
GEO.

130
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,707
OH, FORGET IT!
I CAN'T DO THIS!

131
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,509
I CAN'T PRETEND ANYMORE!

132
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:09,777
YOU JUST GOT HERE.

133
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,179
STEVE AND I DROVE SEPARATELY
BECAUSE...

134
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,081
OUR MARRIAGE IS
ON THE ROCKS.

135
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,355
SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU
SOONER, MA.

136
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,524
I WAS JUST WAITING
FOR THE RIGHT TIME.

137
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,126
DON'T LEAVE ME, CONNIE.

138
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,896
GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, STEVE.
NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THIS.

139
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,631
NOW, IF YOU'LL
ALL EXCUSE ME,

140
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,065
I'M GOING TO GO CRY
INTO SOME BATH TOWELS.

141
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:32,900
[ SOBS ]

142
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,671
[ SCOFFS ]

143
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,573
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
FOR THE TABLE?

144
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,809
WE HAD THEM SHARING
A LOVE SEAT MADE OF HAY!

145
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,176
IT'S BEEN KIND OF ROUGH
WITH CONNIE AND I

146
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,878
SINCE OUR LAST VISIT HERE,

147
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:47,314
WHEN SHE FOUND OUT
ABOUT OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION.

148
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,349
YOU, UH, BROUGHT
YOUR COMPUTER AGAIN.

149
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:52,052
[ SIGHS ] THE INTERNET IS
THE ONLY CONNECTION

150
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,687
I CAN COUNT ON
RIGHT NOW.

151
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,726
I FEEL SO BAD
FOR THEM.

152
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,361
THEIR MARRIAGE IS FINE,
LOUIS.

153
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,832
THIS IS JUST CLASSIC CONNIE
TRYING TO STEAL FOCUS.

154
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,834
REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS LATE
FOR OUR WEDDING

155
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,368
BECAUSE SHE GOT HIT
BY A CAR?

156
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,003
OR MY COLLEGE GRADUATION,

157
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,005
WHEN SHE CONTRACTED
LYME DISEASE?

158
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,841
SHE SAID SHE GOT IT
FROM PETTING A BABY DEER.

159
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,876
WHO PETS A DEER?
WHAT IS SHE, SNOW WHITE?!

160
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,280
SO, COME ON DOWN
TO MY THANKSGIVING DAY SALE!

161
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,716
REMEMBER,
I'M ACROSS FROM THE BIG Q --

162
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,251
WHICH IS PUTTING ME
OUT OF BUSINESS.

163
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,926
I HATE TO BE
A BOTHER,

164
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,962
BUT STEVE AND I CAN'T SLEEP
IN THE SAME ROOM,

165
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:38,098
WHAT WITH OUR MARRIAGE
FALLING APART!

166
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,200
IT WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM
IF WE WERE HOSTING.

167
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,635
WE HAVE EXTRA BEDROOMS --

168
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,537
UHP-BUP-BUP-BUP-BUP.
NOT A PROBLEM.

169
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,272
STEVE CAN SLEEP
ON THE SOFA.

170
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,040
IT'S A PULL-OUT!

171
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,076
MMMMMMM!

172
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,678
GREAT.

173
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,749
LOUIS HUANG,
I'M IMPRESSED.

174
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,785
CONNIE IS NO MATCH
FOR THE BOTH OF US.

175
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:58,919
NOW, YOU GO TO BED.

176
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,654
I'LL STAY UP
AND FINISH PREPPING.

177
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,656
WE'RE GOING TO THROW
THE BEST DAMN HUANGSGIVING

178
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,057
YOUR MOTHER'S EVER SEEN.

179
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,793
YOU'RE REALLY COMMITTED
TO THAT NAME, HUH?

180
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,260
THAT'S
THE SHORTENED VERSION.

181
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,563
THE FULL NAME IS
LOUIS HUANG'S HUANGSGIVING

182
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,499
FEATURING
LOUIS AND THE HUANGS.

183
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,866
[ SIGHS ]

184
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:17,571
SHE STOPPED DOING MY LAUNDRY.
DID I TELL YOU THAT?

185
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:20,007
LOOK --
THESE USED TO BE WHITE.

186
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,843
WHY IS LAUNDRY SO HARD?

187
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,978
OKAY,
YOU'RE ALL SET HERE.

188
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,346
GOT A LOT OF PREP TO DO
FOR TOMORROW, SO --

189
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:27,581
HAVE ONE DRINK WITH ME.

190
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,349
I'D LOVE TO, BUT I --

191
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:30,784
COME ON, LOUIS.

192
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,620
I REALLY NEED THIS
RIGHT NOW.

193
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,440
Man on TV:
OH, I SEE SOME WHISKERS.

194
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,442
COULD IT BE
EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE TABBY?

195
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,510
GARFIELD.

196
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,645
IT IS!

197
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:58,646
HERE COMES...

198
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,147
HEATHCLIFF!

199
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,515
[ REMOTE CLICKS ]

200
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:04,017
SO, COME ON DOWN
TO MY THANKSGIVING DAY SALE.

201
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:07,220
REMEMBER, WHAT I DON'T SELL,
I HAVE TO BURN!

202
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,890
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]

203
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,125
[ GROANING ]

204
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,028
LOUIS! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
NOTHING IS DONE!

205
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,897
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE GOING TO...

206
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,066
WAIT A MINUTE.

207
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,468
WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE
A KOREAN HOTEL?

208
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,870
UM, WELL...

209
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,504
Steve: GO, GO, GO.

210
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:27,207
STEVE AND I HAD
JUST ONE DRINK BEFORE BED...

211
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,475
WHOO!

212
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,911
[ LAUGHS ]

213
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,546
...AND THEN,
WE TALKED SOME BUSINESS.

214
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,616
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

215
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,353
I BET THIS IS ALL PART
OF STEVE AND CONNIE'S PLAN

216
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,723
TO SABOTAGE
OUR THANKSGIVING!

217
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:45,325
I JUST NEED A COUPLE OF ASPIRIN
AND A SHOWER,

218
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,727
AND I'LL BE BACK
TO 100%.

219
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,328
BESIDES,
I'M SURE STEVE IS FEELING

220
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,063
EVEN WORSE THAN ME
THIS MORNING.

221
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,966
HEY, LOUIS. THINK FAST.
BLUEBERRY MUFFIN COMIN' AT YA.

222
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,103
How are you not hungover?

223
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,238
OH, I CAN'T GET DRUNK
ANYMORE.

224
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:01,208
MY BLOOD IS 100% ALCOHOL
AT THIS POINT.

225
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:05,679
OH, HEY, UH, THANKS FOR THE, UH,
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE LAST NIGHT.

226
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,782
I'M GONNA DO IT -- TODAY --
JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

227
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,720
GOOD.
[ CHUCKLES ]

228
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,423
[ COMPUTER CHIMES ]

229
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,525
SO, PEARL JAM'S OUT.

230
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,593
WANT TO PLAY
"DUCK HUNT"?

231
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:20,628
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

232
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,429
YOU MEAN "DUCK MURDER"?

233
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:25,733
THIS IS GONNA BE
A LONG WEEKEND.

234
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,035
WE COULD LOOK UP SEXY LADIES
ON THE INTERNET.

235
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,270
THERE ARE SEXY LADIES
ON THE INTERNET?

236
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,973
DUDE! THAT'S
WHAT THE INTERNET IS!

237
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,375
BUT IT TAKES FOREVER
FOR A PICTURE TO DOWNLOAD,

238
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,744
SO YOU HAVE TO PICK
WHAT SEXY LADY

239
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,545
YOU'RE GONNA LOOK UP
AHEAD OF TIME.

240
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,980
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?

241
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,684
JANET JACKSON.
JANEANE GAROFOLO.

242
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,588
UH [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] SEE?
I'M ALREADY FEEL--

243
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:49,823
AAH!

244
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:52,292
CRANBERRIES --
VERY STINGY BERRY.

245
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,662
LOOK HOW LITTLE JUICE
I'VE YIELDED!

246
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:58,265
LOOK, I KNOW I GOT US OFF
TO A ROUGH START THIS MORNING

247
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,933
AND WE'RE BEHIND SCHEDULE
ON OUR PREP --

248
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,301
THE CARROTS
AREN'T EVEN WASHED.

249
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,970
WE HAVE DIRTY CARROTS.

250
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,271
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

251
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,273
THOSE ARE PROBABLY
MY CORNISH HENS.

252
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:09,142
I'LL HAVE THEM BRINED, ROASTED,
AND ON THE TABLE BY 6:00 P.M.

253
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,344
DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL GET BACK ON TRACK.

254
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:13,847
WHAT?

255
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,615
[ CHICKEN CLUCKS ]
WHAT THE HELL
ARE THOSE?

256
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,950
THE CORNISH HENS
YOU ORDERED.

257
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,118
I ORDERED DEAD HENS!

258
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,188
NOPE.
SEE THAT "L-H" RIGHT THERE?

259
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,256
STANDS FOR "LIVING HENS."

260
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,326
LOUIS, WHO ARE
ALL THESE TINY BIRDS?

261
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,662
WELL, MA'AM,
THIS ONE HERE IS ROSE.

262
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:30,497
THE CREAM ONE IN THE BACK
IS SUE.

263
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,665
YOU GOT TORI RIGHT --

264
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,100
I CAN'T LEARN
ANY HEN NAMES TODAY!

265
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,634
[ BREATHING SHAKILY ]

266
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,037
THIS IS A SLIGHT HICCUP.
THAT'S ALL.

267
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,872
I'LL RUN OUT AND GET A TURKEY
FROM THE RESTAURANT.

268
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,312
DO WE OWN
ANY MINIATURE OVERALLS?

269
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,880
WE WANT TO GUSSY UP
THE GOURDS.

270
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,148
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,

271
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,482
BUT COME TRY
MOMMY'S CRANBERRY SAUCE.

272
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,286
MNH! BLECH! UGH!

273
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,955
"BLECH" GOOD, OR...?

274
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,957
[ GROANS ]

275
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,491
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]

276
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,460
ONE TURKEY
AT YOUR SERVICE.

277
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,629
WHAT HAPPENED
TO ITS OTHER LEG?

278
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,232
IT WAS FROZEN TO
A TUB OF MAYONNAISE,
SO I HAD TO AMPUTATE.

279
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,467
I'LL COVER THE STUMP WITH A YAM.
LET'S PUT IT IN THE OVEN.

280
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,169
WE DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF TIME.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

281
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,371
OH, IT'S OSCAR!
THANK GOD!

282
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,908
OH, OSCAR! WELCOME!
-HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

283
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,209
-HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
-THAT'S FOR YOU.

284
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:17,878
MWAH. [CHUCKLES]
-MWAH.

285
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:18,879
YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.
-THANK YOU.

286
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,580
HELLO.

287
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,984
JESSICA, I WANT YOU TO MEET
MY NEW BOYFRIEND, MICHAEL.

288
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,253
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND.

289
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,420
WE MET
AT THE FARMERS MARKET.

290
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,856
WE BOTH REACHED
FOR THE SAME GOUDA.

291
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,590
"GOW-DAH."

292
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,092
[ CHUCKLES ]

293
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,727
MICHAEL LISTENS TO NPR.

294
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,262
SHOW HER YOUR TOTE.

295
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,231
MOM, LOOK WHO IT IS --

296
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,433
YOUR FAVORITE PERSON,
OSCAR CHOW,

297
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,135
WHO YOU ONLY GET TO SEE
AT M HOUSE.

298
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,172
IS THAT MY CHU-CHU?

299
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,974
CHOW-CHOW!

300
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,211
AND SO SHE SAID,
"WE DON'T DO RETURNS."

301
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,212
THAT BITCH!

302
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,213
I KNOW.

303
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,382
ANYWAY,
SO, I GET IN MY CAR --

304
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,350
[ UKULELE PLAYS NOTE ]
THEY SHOULD REALLY MAKE
A BIG VERSION OF THE UKULELE,

305
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,385
LIKE...

306
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,255
MA, I'VE CUT YOU
A MANGO.

307
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,424
LOOK HOW I HAVEN'T WASTED
ANY MEAT.

308
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,725
I THOUGHT
WE COULD EAT IT

309
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,128
AND RELIVE OUR MEMORIES
OF THANKSGIVINGS PAST.

310
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,567
I WISH I WAS ALLERGIC
TO TROUBLE.

311
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,237
[ BOTH LAUGH ]

312
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,478
WHY IS THIS ACORN HERE?

313
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,147
I THINK IT BRINGS
A RUSTIC QUALITY.

314
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,548
YOU KNOW
WHAT ELSE IS RUSTIC?

315
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,050
THE SQUIRREL
THAT PEED ON IT.

316
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,752
GET THIS
OUT OF MY SIGHT.

317
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:33,453
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

318
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,924
HEY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
[ CHUCKLES ]

319
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,591
IS LOUIS READY
TO LUG THE LEATHER?

320
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,293
UH, MARVIN, HONEY.
WHAT ARE YOU --

321
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,561
WELL,
LOUIS CALLED LAST NIGHT

322
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,163
AND SAID WE SHOULD COME
READY TO PLAY BALL.

323
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,232
Honey: I'VE BEEN
MASSAGING HIS LEGS ALL MORNING.

324
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,399
HE IS READY TO GO.

325
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,600
[ LAUGHS ]
GET IN THERE.

326
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,970
OKAY, NOW, TEAMS...

327
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,338
UH, LET ME SEE HERE.

328
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,773
ME AND, UH,
ERIC CLAPTON HERE...

329
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,408
VERSUS LOUIS...

330
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,178
AND THIS HANDSOME
OLDER LADY.

331
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,248
NO OFFENSE, DOROTHY.

332
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,416
WHAT -- YOU THINK
I CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL?

333
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,019
I THREW A CARBURETOR
ACROSS THE STAGE

334
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,688
AS KENICKIE IN "GREASE"
FOR TWO SUMMER TOURS.

335
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:11,791
OKAY, FINE.
BUT WE DON'T PULL ANY PUNCHES.

336
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,961
WE PLAY HARD TOUCH.
HUH?

337
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,328
FACE TAGS ALLOWED.

338
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,099
[ CHUCKLES ]
UH, I'D LOVE TO PLAY,
UH, MARVIN,

339
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,667
BUT I HAVE TO
HELP JESSICA WITH --

340
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,035
I DON'T NEED
ANY HELP.

341
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,803
GO PLAY.

342
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,505
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

343
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:28,308
I don't want to play.
My stomach hurts.

344
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,878
You should have thought of that
before you invited him over.

345
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,812
HAVE FUN!

346
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,114
GO GET YOUR FACE
TOUCHED.

347
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,849
COME ON, LOUIS!

348
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,051
LET'S GO, BOYS!
LET'S GET 'EM!

349
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,052
LOUIS, GET OUT HERE!

350
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,288
[ DOOR CLOSES ]

351
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,657
SO, I WAS LISTENING
TO THE MOST FASCINATING STORY

352
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,994
ON NPR THIS MORNING
ABOUT ALMONDS.

353
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:50,663
I WAS ON THE TRAIN,
TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.

354
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,165
YOU KNOW, AND OSCAR SAYS,
"WHAT'S WRONG?"

355
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,733
[ Voice breaking ]
AND I SA-- SORRY.

356
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,236
I SAID,
"THE ALMONDS ARE IN TROUBLE,

357
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,171
AND WE'RE DOING NOTHING."

358
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,506
CONNIE!

359
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,977
[ SIGHS ]

360
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,345
HAPPY TO, MA-MA.

361
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:07,847
[ BUZZER ]
OH!

362
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,382
DON'T GO FAR!

363
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,218
DINNER IS
ABOUT TO BE SERVED.

364
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,859
NO.

365
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,361
JESSICA?
[ OVER DOOR SLAMS ]

366
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,596
DID YOU SAY DINNER IS READY?
MOM'S STARVING.

367
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,933
ALMOST. I JUST NEED
TO LET IT COOL OFF.

368
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,600
IT'S SO HOT AND BROWN.

369
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,172
Marvin: SET! HIKE!
Louis!

370
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,307
ONE MISSISSIPPI!
TWO MISSISSIPPI!
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
[ LAUGHS ]

371
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,844
[ KNOCK ON WINDOW ]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

372
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,846
The turkey is raw.

373
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:40,914
WHAT?

374
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:42,315
The turkey...

375
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:45,718
...is...

376
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:46,954
raw.

377
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,455
OH, ASTRONAUT?

378
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,025
SWEATER FOR AN ASTRONAUT?

379
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,726
[ Growling ] RAW!

380
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,462
OH! PAULA ABDUL!

381
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,399
WORST CHARADES PLAYER EVER.

382
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,441
[ GROANS ]

383
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:10,243
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?

384
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,045
YOU GOT HIT
IN THE HEAD.

385
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,414
OSCAR THREW A FOOTBALL
AT YOU.

386
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,449
THE TURKEY IS RAW.

387
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,385
YOU DIDN'T TURN ON
THE OVEN.

388
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,652
TELL ME
IF THIS NEEDS MORE SUGAR.

389
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,254
I DON'T --
[ GURGLES ]

390
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,922
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

391
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,057
STILL TOO SOUR?

392
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,592
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

393
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:29,062
WHY WOULD ANYBODY MAKE A SAUCE
OUT OF THESE DEVIL BERRIES?

394
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,797
WAIT.

395
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,665
DID YOU SAY
THE TURKEY IS RAW?

396
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,167
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

397
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,336
YOU TURNED ON THE OVEN LIGHT,
NOT THE ACTUAL OVEN.

398
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,171
IT'S ON NOW,
SO IN ABOUT SIX HOURS

399
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,340
WE'LL BE READY TO EAT,
WHICH WOULD BE AROUND MIDNIGHT.

400
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,575
I MAY SEEM CALM,
BUT IT'S A CALM ANGER,

401
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,544
WHICH IS A MUCH SCARIER TYPE
OF ANGER.

402
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,414
OKAY, UH...
[ CHUCKLES ]

403
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,915
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'LL BE FINE.

404
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,184
WE'VE GOT BAGS OF NUTS,
MONOPOLY.

405
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:52,852
WE'LL STALL
UNTIL THE FOOD IS READY.

406
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,521
[ CHUCKLES ] EVERYTHING IS
GOING TO BE GREAT.

407
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,489
[ CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY ]

408
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,094
98%.

409
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,695
99%.

410
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:03,863
[ SIGHS ]

411
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,432
98%.

412
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,634
SHE'S ALMOST HERE.

413
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,602
OUR COMPROMISE.

414
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,438
A SMART, TALENTED,
FEMALE MUSICIAN

415
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,140
WITH LOTS OF OPINIONS
ON SOCIAL CHANGE.

416
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:13,973
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

417
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,843
TRACY CHAPMAN.TRACY CHAPMAN.

418
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,213
SENSIBLE VEST.

419
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,615
ALL RIGHT, 7!

420
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,484
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

421
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,652
BUY IT!

422
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,187
YOU LANDED
ON JAIL.

423
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,489
[ LAUGHS ]
SOLD!

424
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,391
YOU GOT A GREAT ARM THERE, SON.
YOU BELONG ON THE GRIDIRON.

425
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,493
YOU KNOW, YOU GO
TO A JUNIOR COLLEGE, TRANSFER.

426
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,794
WHAT ARE YOU --
23, 24?

427
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,895
I'M 45.

428
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,164
Jessica:
GETTING CLOSE NOW.

429
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,599
I JUST NEED TO PUT
PAPER BOOTIES ON THE BIRD.

430
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,870
WHY ARE THE GOURDS
NAKED?

431
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,305
WHERE ARE
THEIR OVERALLS?

432
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,540
CUTE, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHS ]

433
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:50,310
SOMEONE HAD PUT THEM
ON SOME POTATOES OR SOMETHING.

434
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,778
IT WAS WEIRD.

435
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:56,049
[ Straining ] GET THOSE
OFF THE WINE BOTTLES

436
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,851
AND BACK
ON THE DAMN GOURDS!

437
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,087
[ DICE RATTLE ]

438
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,054
[ SIGHS ]

439
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,055
YES!

440
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,590
I'M GONNA BUY A HOUSE...

441
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,757
FOR CONNIE.

442
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,159
NO, THANKS.

443
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,095
IT'LL JUST
GET REPOSSESSED.

444
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,830
ALL RIGHT, I-I KNOW
I'M NOT ALWAYS GOOD

445
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,599
AT SAYING HOW I FEEL,

446
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,768
BUT LAST NIGHT, LOUIS TOLD ME
I NEED TO TAKE A BIG SWING.

447
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,207
[ NOTE PLAYS ]

448
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,544
* TURN AROUND,
CONNIE *

449
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,680
* EVERY NOW AND THEN,
I GET A LITTLE BIT LONELY *

450
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,216
* AND YOU'RE NEVER COMING
AROUND *

451
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,850
"NEVER COMING AROUND"?!

452
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,753
* TURN AROUND, CONNIE

453
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,955
* YOU ALWAYS SMELL
LIKE COCONUT *

454
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:39,559
* AND THAT'S
MY FAVORITE SMELL *

455
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:40,960
THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK,
STEVE.

456
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,830
[ SNORING ]

457
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,999
[ HAIR DRYER WHIRRING ]

458
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,812
WHO SAYS WE HAVE TO
EAT EVERYTHING TOGETHER?

459
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,248
LET'S DO COURSES.

460
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,615
FIRST COURSE -- SAUCE.

461
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,453
WHAT?

462
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,920
CONNIE TOLD US --

463
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,989
RIGHT BEFORE SHE LEFT
TO GET THE TURKEY FRYER.

464
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,258
COOKS THE BIRD
IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.

465
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,326
WHAT'S OPEN
ON THANKSGIVING?

466
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,961
GLENN'S.

467
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,297
THAT'S RIGHT --
NO THANKSGIVING DINNER FOR ME.

468
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,672
IT'S NOT THANKSGIVING.

469
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,141
IT'S HUANGSGIVING.

470
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,312
[ DOOR OPENS ]

471
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,481
[ DOOR SLAMS ]

472
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,883
WELL, I THINK
IT'S MY TURN, SO...

473
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,653
[ DICE RATTLE ]

474
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,758
HELLO, CONNIE.

475
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:46,626
JESSICA.

476
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,528
WHERE DID YOU FIND
PARKING?

477
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:51,864
CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL NEXT DOOR.
WALKED THROUGH THE BUSHES.

478
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:56,035
NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA SWOOP IN
AND "RESCUE" MY THANKSGIVING.

479
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,337
I'M JUST TRYING TO --

480
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,872
TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT YOU,
LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO,

481
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:03,876
WITH YOUR CAR ACCIDENTS,
YOUR LYME DISEASES.

482
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,978
MY FACE WAS PARALYZED
FOR A YEAR!

483
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,347
HOW CONVENIENT!

484
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,048
JUST ADMIT IT.

485
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,684
ADMIT YOU WANTED TO RUIN
MY THANKSGIVING.

486
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,954
YES! BECAUSE
THANKSGIVING IS MINE!

487
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,489
IT'S THE ONE TIME
I GET ATTENTION

488
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,225
FOR THE RIGHT REASONS --

489
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:21,361
NOT BECAUSE A CAR BACKED INTO ME
OR I PET THE WRONG DEER

490
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,030
OR...HAD A TATTOO
GET INFECTED.

491
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,633
I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET A TATTOO
AT THE AIRPORT.

492
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,568
WHY COULDN'T YOU
JUST LET ME HAVE THIS?

493
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,169
YOU HAVE
EVERYTHING ELSE!

494
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,372
YOUR BUSINESS IS
SEMI-SUCCESSFUL.

495
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,241
YOUR MARRIAGE IS SOLID.

496
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:37,377
WAIT -- ARE YOU AND STEVE
REALLY HAVING TROUBLE?

497
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,579
IT'S BEEN HARD.

498
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,382
HE'S JUST SO ANNOYING,
YOU KNOW?

499
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,217
I KNOW.

500
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:45,885
WE ALL KNOW.

501
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,554
I JUST WANT
TO PUNCH HIS FACE.

502
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,855
I KNOW.

503
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,557
AND THOSE WHALE SHORTS?

504
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,024
I BOUGHT HIM
THOSE SHORTS.

505
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,060
...ARE APPROPRIATE
FOR A MAN HIS AGE.

506
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:59,632
I ALSO KNOW THAT HE LOVES YOU
AND JUSTIN VERY MUCH.

507
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:02,369
YOU KNOW WHAT?

508
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,671
I'M GOING TO BUY
THIS FRYER

509
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,939
SO I CAN BRING IT
TO YOUR HOUSE NEXT YEAR,

510
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,941
WHEN YOU HOST
THANKSGIVING.

511
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,777
NO!

512
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,045
I WANT TO BUY IT
FOR YOU

513
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,382
SO THI THANKSGIVING
WILL BE GREAT.

514
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,417
DON'T BE SILLY.
LET ME.

515
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,651
YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED
TO STEVE.

516
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,628
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL
TABLE.

517
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,731
HONEY'S TAKING THE BONNET
OFF THE GRAVY BOAT.

518
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,032
WHAT IS SHE --

519
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,401
OH, MY GOD!

520
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,436
SHE'S PUTTING IT
ON HER THUMB!

521
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:37,870
* DO DO DO DO DO

522
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,439
LOOK! LOOK!

523
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,440
HM.

524
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,542
THANKS FOR INTRODUCING ME
TO SKA.

525
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:43,276
I HATE IT.

526
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:46,212
[ SKA MUSIC PLAYS ]

527
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,815
YOU TIE A ROPE TO A TIRE,
HANG IT FROM A TREE,

528
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,418
AND JUST...THROW.

529
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,786
I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT,
BUT THANK YOU.

530
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,056
* TURN AROUND, CONNIE

531
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,058
IT'S SO CATCHY.

532
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,093
IT'S ABOUT WANTING YOU
TO TURN AROUND.

533
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,267
THANK YOU, MA-MA.

534
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,802
[ SIGHS ]

535
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:11,338
WE DID IT.

536
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:12,872
WE DID HUANGSGIVING.

537
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,643
YOU'RE NOT MAD THAT I GOT DRUNK
AND MESSED EVERYTHING UP?

538
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:19,346
OH, I'M MAD.
I'M SUPER-MAD.

539
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:21,481
I'M JUST WAITING TILL TOMORROW,
WHEN EVERYBODY LEAVES.

540
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:23,015
HM.

541
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,517
[ GLASS CLINKS ]
[ CLEARS THROAT ]

542
00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:25,918
OH, BOY.
[ GROANS ]

543
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,620
THANKSGIVING --

544
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:30,623
OR, IN THE GERMAN,
ERNTEDANKFEST...